Ep 232: Relaxcast pt. 2
SARAH: Hey. What's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake but Okay, a relaxing podcast where an aroace girl, I'm Sarah. That's me.
KAYLA: And me, an incredibly relaxed bi demisexual girl Kay-la
SARAH: What's your name? Yeah.
KAYLA: Is that how that usually goes?
SARAH: It's going so well.
KAYLA: It's okay. This is so smooth and relaxing.
SARAH: This is very relaxing. Anyway, here on this relaxing cast we talk about everything to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand, but in a relaxing way.
KAYLA: On today's relaxing episode: motivation.
SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds fake, but okay
(theme music plays)
SARAH: Actually I think that was cursed. I hate ASMR sounds, so I'm really sorry.
(laughter)
SARAH: I think that got a little too ASMR-y and I apologize
KAYLA: I think it was just a little relaxed, that's all.
SARAH: (groans)
KAYLA: I do not remember how we actually start because I can only remember what to say if it all flows. Anyway.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Hello
SARAH: You know. I was going to put the theme song there then you just kept talking. Everything's fine. Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Hello
SARAH: Here we are. This is not an ASMR podcast because I would literally –
KAYLA: Sarah hates ASMR
SARAH: I would sooner walk into the sea than have to listen to ASMR when I was editing my own fucking podcast, but we are indeed doing another relaxcast. We once did a relaxcast, and apparently people liked it for some reason?
KAYLA: I think it was episode 190, or something? There's been a lot of talk in the discord lately of people loving the relaxcast and listening to it a lot
SARAH: Which seems absurd, but we're here to give you another relaxcast.
KAYLA: Yeah. We didn't have anything to talk about, and I think we've had too many good episodes lately
SARAH: Yeah. Got to bring back our roots
KAYLA: So... it is episode 190
SARAH: Wow. Your brain.
KAYLA: So. It's funny when you google relaxcast Sounds Fake but Okay our book comes up as like the fourth search, which I guess is what happens when your book and your podcast have the same name
SARAH: (sing-song) soundsfakepod.com/book
KAYLA: Speaking of, we've had some people ask lately how to order the book from certain countries. At least for European countries and Canada and Australia, you can just go to whatever is the most popular book vendor in your country and look it up, and it should be there, or you can look at the website of local independent book stores and see if they're offering it, and they might also be. So.
SARAH: That would be very sexy.
KAYLA: If you're outside of the US and you find that none of the regular US websites will ship to your country, fear not. Don't pay international shipping. It should be available to you. I'm not sure about outside of Europe because our publisher –
SARAH: Wow. How Eurocentric. That's not relaxing, Kayla
KAYLA: Yeah I know but our publisher is based in the UK, so these are all the things I know
SARAH: And I'm based in your mom's house. They're not special.
KAYLA: (laughing)
SARAH: That wasn't relaxing, I'm so sorry
KAYLA: (laughing) Oh my god you just dissed their mom so bad.
SARAH: No I dissed your mom. Sorry Sandy.
KAYLA: That's so unrelaxing, she listens to this sometimes
SARAH: It was more so a diss of Kayla than you, Sandy.
KAYLA: Woah dude
SARAH: I think your house is wonderful.
KAYLA: But like dissing me is dissing her because I came from her
SARAH: Now that's a stretch
KAYLA: I'm her creation.
SARAH: Mkay.
KAYLA: That's not a stretch that's literally how birth works. What? What do you mean?
SARAH: No I mean it's a stretch to say that dissing you is dissing her.
KAYLA: Well if someone dissed –
SARAH: (laughing) Because you make your choices and actions completely independently of her
KAYLA: That's what you think.
SARAH: (laughing) Okay.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Anyway, do we have any housekeeping before we relax this cast?
KAYLA: Buy our book, buy Eris's book, buy Sherronda's book, and buy Cody's book.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I know that you're probably thinking to yourself "why would I pre-order a book when I can just get it when it comes out?"
(05:02)
KAYLA: And I understand that mentality. It's hard to motivate yourself to do something when it's like 6 months away and you're like "there's no deadline, who cares?"
SARAH: Are you @ing me?
KAYLA: A little. But the thing is is that pre-ordering matters a lot and that every book pre-ordered counts as if it was bought on the first day a book comes out, which means if a lot of people pre-order, it looks like a lot of people bought it the first day and week, which means –
SARAH: Because they did.
KAYLA: Because they did! Which means that that's how you get on bestseller lists. And wouldn't it be cool if one of the ace books was a best seller? So you do have to pre-order it. That's all.
SARAH: Correct. Kayla, what are we talking about this week and what the fuck does it have to do with the theme of this podcast?
KAYLA: Well, this week we are relaxing on the cast.
(coughing)
KAYLA: That is not relaxing.
SARAH: I am so sorry.
KAYLA: Horrible. I believe last time we relaxed in cast we did some positive affirmations for aspecs.
SARAH: If I recall correctly, I recorded that podcast lying in my bed in my childhood bedroom when I was home for the holidays.
KAYLA: Yeah, it feels like an episode that was recorded in a bed.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So this time I thought what if we did some motivations for aspecs?
SARAH: Mhm. Which was kind of what we did before.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But guess what? We're unoriginal.
KAYLA: Again. And yeah so that is what we will be doing.
SARAH: When Kayla suggested this, I had exactly one thought of a motivational relaxcast phrase. Shall we start there?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: As a wise woman once said – oh? (indistinct background noise) I hope the mic got that.
KAYLA: I heard something.
SARAH: As soon as I said that somebody went honk honk
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Anyway. As a wise woman once said – hold on I need to check and see what her middle name is. What her middle name bestie? I knew her maiden name but I forgot the middle name. As a wise woman named Michelle LeVaughn Robinson Obama once said, when they go low, you go ace.
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: Does that make any sense?
KAYLA AND SARAH: No.
SARAH: No but that's okay. It doesn't have to sensical it just needs to be relaxing.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: And that's what this motivational relaxcast is for. When they go low, you go ace. When they go high, you go aro.
KAYLA: (laughs)
SARAH: When the go middle, you go demi. Much to consider.
KAYLA: So true. Much to consider. I'm just googling motivational posters right now.
SARAH: Please do
KAYLA: And just kind of doing my own little motivational relaxing remix. So this one I think is all things are difficult before they are aspec
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: Which is just that things are difficult and then they realize that you're aspec and you're like "oh"
SARAH: Everything makes so much more sense now
KAYLA: "that's why those things were difficult" and you know? Maybe they still are difficult but at least now you have a name for it.
SARAH: So true.
KAYLA: That was accidentally really motivational. Sorry everyone. I didn't mean to get genuine here.
SARAH: I'm picturing one of those American girl horse posters with those inspirational quotes
KAYLA: Ah love it
SARAH: And it says "You can ace it" which actually makes sense
KAYLA: And the color of the horse's mane is the ace flag.
SARAH: So true
KAYLA: I can't wait. I hope someone in the discord makes that.
SARAH: You can ace it. You know often times in the world of kpop, people refer to people as the ace of a group, or the ace of kpop or whatever
KAYLA: Or the ace of cakes
SARAH: And I'm like "I didn't realize they came out"
KAYLA: (laughing) Congratulations
SARAH: So here's a hot take. I don't know how hot it is. Ace of Cakes was so much better than Cake Boss.
KAYLA: That is not a hot take that is an obvious truth.
SARAH: Is that an ice cold take?
KAYLA: That is ice cold
SARAH: But then how come cake boss went on for so much longer?
(10:00)
KAYLA: I don't know but it sucked and Ace of Cakes was amazing
SARAH: Bro I had some cake the other day and it was nice and I considered bringing it back to California then I was like it's 5 AM this is too complicated.
KAYLA: Do you have some more motivation for us?
SARAH: I have this one. It's one of those posters you would see in a classroom that has a word and then a tagline
KAYLA: I'm seeing a lot of those on the Internet.
SARAH: Yes and the tagline is a quote. So it says "Achievement: this is one small step for man, one giant leap for aspec kind"
KAYLA: Mm. Oh no the hiccups.
SARAH: Every time you buy our book that's what that is
KAYLA: God I have the hiccups it's so unrelaxing. I'm really struggling over here.
SARAH: You know what's not relaxing but is funny?
KAYLA: Mm?
SARAH: aspec-ifying motivational quotes but not matching up the word like not going noun to noun or verb to verb. For example, "dreams don't work, aspec you do"
KAYLA: (laughing) Oh no, awful
SARAH: Dreams don't work unless aspec do
(laughter)
KAYLA: That one makes a little sense
SARAH: Dreams don't work unless aspec do. Aspec don't work unless you do.
KAYLA: That's so true actually
SARAH: Dreams aspec work unless you do
KAYLA: Alright that's enough of this.
SARAH: Dreams don't aspec unless you do. Dreams don't work unless you aspec.
KAYLA: That's quite enough of this bit I think
SARAH: Relaxing
KAYLA: You know the motivational poster of the cat hanging from the branch that says "hang in there"?
SARAH: Mhm.
KAYLA: Ace in there
SARAH: Ace in there. Hang in ace.
KAYLA: Aro in there. Hang aro there
SARAH: (laughing) Hang ace there
KAYLA: No I actually take that back quite a bit. Never mind. Carrying on
SARAH: (sighs) Oh no. This one, this is an Aristotle quote, or, as the academics say Aristotle (rhyming with Chipotle). "Power. What lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to aspec"
KAYLA: Oh?
SARAH: (laughing) I should've put that somewhere else in the sentence.
KAYLA: Try again.
SARAH: What lies in our aspec to do, it lies in our aspec not to do.
KAYLA: (laughing) I would've liked it better if it was "what lies in our aspec to do, what lies in our aspec to don't"
(laughter)
KAYLA: I think that sounds better.
SARAH: Don't should
KAYLA: There you go. Sarah?
SARAH: Yes?
KAYLA: Let your aspecs be bigger than your fears.
SARAH: Mm. Okay
KAYLA: Let your dreams be bigger than your aspecs. Aspec your dreams, be bigger than your fears.
SARAH: How about this one? This one for some reason is for sale. It's a black frame canvas. It's 24 by 24. It is in the color glam gray
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And it is $243
KAYLA: That's certainly too much
SARAH: I'm going to aspec-ify it. Are you ready?
KAYLA: Yeah I am
SARAH: Aspec verb to perform repetitive tasks over and over to attain a goal
KAYLA: Okay, alright. I mean maybe
SARAH: How about this? Grind verb. To perform repetitive aspecs over and over in order to attain an aspec goal
KAYLA: How do you perform an aspec?
SARAH: I'm performing an aspec every day
KAYLA: That's... yeah
SARAH: It's like how you perform gender. You perform aspec.
KAYLA: No but gender isn't real and aspec is. The reason we perform gender is because it isn't real.
SARAH: You've confused me. I'd like to stop.
KAYLA: Here's one for you.
SARAH: Please
KAYLA: Work hard in silence and let aspecs make the noise.
SARAH: Oh. You know what? That's very, very good
KAYLA: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and aspec-er than you think
SARAH: Ah, so true. How about this one? This one says "motivational posters: create them right aspec"
(laughter)
KAYLA: I've also seen here
(15:00)
KAYLA: It's – I don't know who this man is but it's a tapestry, wall-hanging and there's this man in a little vest and some slacks and he's crossing his arms and above him it says "I eat kids"
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: So it's an ad that Google put in here
SARAH: Sorry did you say, is it I hate kids?
KAYLA: I eat kids
SARAH: I eat kids? I wasn't sure if you said hate or eat
KAYLA: I'll send you a picture maybe you know who this man is
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I'm sorry to this man
SARAH: I have one from Goofy store India. I'll aspec-ify it. Aspecs are a dream killer.
KAYLA: Oh what was that actual quote?
SARAH: Comfort is a dream killer
KAYLA: Um what?
SARAH: This one. Think Aspec, beautiful. That's just a poorly constructed sentence
KAYLA: I don't care for it. That's actually the title for our second book
SARAH: Uh huh
KAYLA: Just kidding. Don't have one
SARAH: (laughing) I just saw this tapestry it's so good.
KAYLA: Who is that man?
SARAH: Oh my god it's that fucking guy from the Disney channel show
KAYLA: The one with the kid that died?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: That Disney channel kid that died.
SARAH: Yeah yeah sorry I thought you meant in the show there was a kid that died
KAYLA: What's her name Skye? Jackson?
SARAH: Yes yes!
KAYLA: Well he eats kids I think according to this flag
SARAH: Jesse! The show is Jesse
KAYLA: Jesse the show is Jesse
SARAH: The actor's name is Kevin Chamberlain
KAYLA: And according to this tapestry he does eat children but I'm not sure how reputable of a source that is
SARAH: Well recently he was in a production of – what's the Suddenly Seymour one?
KAYLA: Um. Rocky – Nope not Rocky Horror Picture Show
(laughter)
KAYLA: The plant one. Little Shop of Horrors.
SARAH: Little Shop of Horrors. He was recently in a production of Little Shop of Horrors, so you never know.
KAYLA: Maybe he got to eat kids. I'm sorry for talking about someone who died that's not relaxing.
SARAH: (laughing) I thought you were going to say I'm sorry for talking about eating kids but then it took a much worse turn
KAYLA: I'm sorry may he rest in peace he seemed really nice. Anyway. Sarah, the best aspec comes after the hardest climb
SARAH: Did that say – a little louder please?
KAYLA: The best aspec
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Comes after the hardest climb
SARAH: Ah climb, I see.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: How about this one? Your image here. Add your text.
(laughter)
KAYLA: (laughing) Stop it.
SARAH: Add the second line of commentary text here. Add the third line of aspec text here. I think that's very motivational.
KAYLA: Here's a quote by Elon Musk, the elongated muskrat that the Internet is claiming as motivational
SARAH: I would never be motivated by him
KAYLA: I will be aspec-ifying it because I know he would hate that.
SARAH: Good
KAYLA: Optimism, pessimism, fuck that. We are going to make it happen. As god is my bloody witness, I'm hell bent on making it aspec
(laughter)
KAYLA: Honestly, me too. Honestly it's kind of good.
SARAH: (laughing) I have one. I have one.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: Honestly that is quite good. Okay. Remember where you started. Don't give up. Find an aspec.
KAYLA: Okay. It's like when you're on campus and there's blue lights you can push to alert the authorities
SARAH: That's not relaxing
KAYLA: There's just an aspec that you should be able to see within 20 feet of you wherever you are on campus
SARAH: Well that does work for me, as an aspec
KAYLA: Yeah there's always one right there.
SARAH: God I'm funny. Unfortunately I live in my own brain. I'm trapped here. That's not relaxing. Anyway.
(laughter)
SARAH: (laughing) Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm not even going to aspec-ify this because it's so perfect
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: First of all, I want you to know that the fonts are bad
KAYLA: (laughing) Okay
SARAH: And the image
(20:00)
SARAH: Is a person holding a single rose but just the flower part
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's just in the hands. And it says customer care
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Must be nurtured from beginning to end
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: But actually it says in smaller letters "must be nurtured from beginning to end"
KAYLA: Customer. What who made that and why?
SARAH: It's on the Wikipedia page for motivational speakers
KAYLA: The aspec in anything was once a beginner
SARAH: So true. Here's something to consider. I think this one will really speak to my neurodivergent aspecs
KAYLA: Why did you just send me a tiff?
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: I can't receive a tiff on my cell phone.
SARAH: (laughing) Wait, you can't?
KAYLA: Oh there it is. It came. That's really bad. I hate it.
SARAH: Anyway. This one's for the neurodivergent aspecs out there. Aspec forget why you started
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: As an aspec, I do forget why I started all the time
KAYLA: Yeah you really do. Sarah, did you know that big journeys begin with small aspecs?
SARAH: What if you're a large aspec?
KAYLA: Mm, better get smaller.
SARAH: Oh kay. That could be problematic. How about this? A little progress each day adds up to big aspecs. One for the big aspecs out there.
KAYLA: Sarah, be the reason someone aspecs today.
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, I hope you reach for the aspecs.
KAYLA: I... will
SARAH: (laughing) Mistakes – oh no. Mistakes mean you are aspec.
(laughter)
KAYLA: Here's one. Aspecs worth having comes easy.
SARAH: Mm. Good.
KAYLA: Something to consider.
SARAH: Something to consider. Shoot for the aspecs. Even if you miss, you'll land among the queers.
(laughter)
KAYLA: So true. She believed she could, so she aspec-ed.
SARAH: Oh, absolutely. Diplomacy. If an aspec could speak, we wouldn't understand him.
KAYLA: (laughing) What is that quote actually?
SARAH: (laughing) If a lion could speak, we couldn't understand him. It's a quote from Ludvig Wittgenstein. It's supposed to be about diplomacy but I don't really get it.
KAYLA: I don't see a single way how that could be about diplomacy. I'm going to be real with you all. I don't see anything there.
SARAH: (laughing) This one also does not require any adjustments. It's a picture of a child. Well, you'll see. You can probably guess what the picture is once you hear it. Patience. Tyler showed patience by sitting quietly and playing his DS while waiting at the hospital. How is that motivational?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Oh my god it's from a weebly from Mr. Solarz's class?
KAYLA: Hello? Mr. Solar?
SARAH: It's Solarz with a Z at the end
KAYLA: I still have questions. Always believe something aspec is about to happen.
SARAH: Mm. That's so true. I can always make something aspec happen.
KAYLA: So true. Good morning. Eyes up, hearts up, minds sharp, compassion on full blast, okay, let's aspec.
SARAH: Mm. Clear eyes, full bra, can't aspec
(laughter)
KAYLA: Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of aspec you're going to have.
SARAH: Mm. Life can be tough, but you are aspec.
KAYLA: So true. Write it on your heart that every day is the best aspec in the year. Every day is the best aspec in the year.
(25:00)
KAYLA: Every one. Every day.
SARAH: Another one I don't understand.
KAYLA: Every day.
SARAH: It's a photo of someone swiping on Tinder and it says "everyone make mistakes" and then there's a quote that says "ooh noice"
KAYLA: (laughing) I saw that one.
(laughter)
SARAH: Are we implying that we swiped the correct way on 2020?
KAYLA: Mm, doubtful.
SARAH: Okay I have one. It's a good day to have a good day. Laugh more. Worry less. Do more of what makes you happy. Be the best version of you. Try and fail, don't fail to try. Stay positive. Regret nothing. Work hard. Be humble. Every day may not be good but there's something good in every day. Live. Laugh. Love. Follow your dreams. Believe in yourselves – no only one of you. Believe in yourself. And don't forget to be aspec.
KAYLA: That was such a wild ride because I kept expecting it to be over and also I was like when is the aspec going to come in. That was terrible.
SARAH: I have another one that's good. You are a champion. You are in charge of your destiny. Be obsessed with greatness. Don't wait for opportunities, create them. Embrace pain for it leads to growth. Expect nothing but the best from yourself. Step outside of your comfort zone to achieve greatness. Think big. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to be better. Focus on goals, not obstacles. Be patient. Success comes in time. Trust the process. No excuses only results. Make your own luck with hard work. Define your vision and go after it. Stay humble and hungry. Remember how you started. Don't stop until you're proud. Focus on your goals, your mission. Dream, believe, achieve. Don't fear mistakes. Never give aspec.
KAYLA: That could not have ended sooner.
(laughter)
KAYLA: Why do all of these motivational quotes want me to be humble?
SARAH: This one was also – it gave me a little bit of an aneurysm to read because of the graphic design.
KAYLA: If anything, if anything, I am not confident enough and now these quotes are telling me to stay humble?
SARAH: Mm. Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Don't feel bad if people remember you only when they need you. Feel privileged that you are like a candle that comes to their aspec when there is darkness.
KAYLA: What did you look up to find these?
SARAH: (laughing) I keep clicking on stuff on Google images and that just takes me down rabbit holes.
KAYLA: Oh my. I choose to live by choice, not by chance. To make changes, not excuses. To be motivated, not manipulated. To be useful, not used. To excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinion of aspecs.
(laughter)
KAYLA: That was funny.
SARAH: There is no elevator to aspec.
KAYLA: Mm.
SARAH: You have to take the stairs. That's ableist.
KAYLA: First of all, ableist. Second of all –
SARAH: Not ADA compliant
KAYLA: Kind of maybe more on that in our book. Be honest. A little.
SARAH: Oh my god so true, but it's not elevators and it's not stairs. It's somewhere in between. Find out more in our book soundsfakepod.com/book. Buy it and we'll stop reading you these bad motivational quotes.
KAYLA: Do I have to make that the new url?
SARAH: (laughing) Did I say it wrong again?
KAYLA: No you said soundsfakepod.com/buy it and we'll stop reading you these bad motivational quotes. Hold on let me right that down. I think I should be able to do that.
(30:00)
(laughter)
KAYLA: Hold on
SARAH: (laughing) I really thought I said book
KAYLA: soundsfakepod.com/buyitandwellstopreadingyouthesemotivationalquotes. Okay. By the time you're hearing this that might go somewhere.
SARAH: Could be live. Good.
KAYLA: Who's to say
SARAH: How about this? She believed she could – no wrong. She couldn't. But backing up
(laughter)
KAYLA: She could not, in fact.
SARAH: She believed she aspec so she did.
KAYLA: That's very good. Gnocchi I'll kill you.
SARAH: (laughing) That's not relaxing. Hey Gnocchi I have something for you to hear. Be you
KAYLA: She's out of the room
SARAH: I'm telling her ghost. Be you. Do your best. Have no aspecs. That's very exclusionary.
KAYLA: I don't know about that one.
SARAH: (laughing) And not relaxing.
KAYLA: No I lost my spot
SARAH: You know there was something my mother would always tell me before I had gymnastics meets or something of the sort. She would say "Sarah do your best and have fun"
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I would like to abridge that. Amend it, if you will. Do your best and have aspec.
KAYLA: So true. Now this is one that doesn't seem very motivational.
SARAH: Mm.
KAYLA: But here we go.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: A direct result of delegation, outsourcing, and automation is that many of us become dependent on others for our work. We become lazy and try to shrug off every little aspec that needs to be done. Now that is so unmotivating to me, I will be honest.
SARAH: (laughing) Same. How about this? Push your aspec because no one else is going to do it for you. Just shove them into the road. Just give them a push.
KAYLA: No one is bigger than the team, and individual brilliance does not always lead to results. One selfish mindset will infect a collective aspec. I think I've stumbled into corporate quotes.
(laughter)
KAYLA: Most leaders who fail, Bill George says in an interview with Pamela Holly, really suffer from a lack of strong identity, belief in themselves, and to be frank, respect for aspecs.
SARAH: Mm, so true.
KAYLA: Here's the thing about what I just read is it includes the part where it says Bill George says in an interview with Pamela Holly but it's on a relaxing background with a mountain or whatever. Why didn't they just take that part out and make it an actual quote?
SARAH: I don't know. Maybe they're paraphrasing and they didn't feel comfortable quoting it directly.
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: This one is apparently from Katharine Hepburn, and you know what? I think it's very, very true.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: If you obey all the rules, you miss all the aspec.
KAYLA: That's so true. This one I just want us to hear, I'm not going to modify it at all.
SARAH: Mkay.
KAYLA: This is exactly how this is written against a background of again, mountains.
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: The challenge is to always improve, to always get better, even when you are the best, especially when you are the best. Henry.
SARAH: (laughing) What?
KAYLA: Especially when you are the best, period. On the same line, not under it, as in it's an attribution, on the same line, Henry, period. I'll send you this picture.
(laughter)
KAYLA: Someone had some real thoughts for Henry
SARAH: (laughing) Oh my.
KAYLA: Henry.
SARAH: (laughing) Especially when you are the best. Henry.
KAYLA: Henry.
SARAH: Motivational
KAYLA: If there are any Henry's listening right now
(35:00)
KAYLA: You are legally obligated to tell us, so.
SARAH: Henri. How about this? Good students aim for good grades – nope. I'm not a good student. Good students aim for good grades. (faint alarm sounds) Great students aim for the fucking car alarm to go off.
(laughter)
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: Third time's the charm. Good students aim for good grades. Great students aim for aspec.
KAYLA: Mm. Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do aspec.
SARAH: Mm. Even if you are on the right aspec, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
KAYLA: Oh. If you stay positive in a negative situation, you aspec. Good morning.
(laughter)
KAYLA: The good morning was in a different font and color so I thought it warranted a different inflection.
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: Patience is the key that connects efforts to aspec. Good morning.
(laughter)
KAYLA: There's so many of these that just say one thing and then in a completely different font – hold on. Don't compare yourself to other. Just compare your today with yesterday. If there is an improvement, that's your aspec. Good morning have a wonderful day.
(laughter)
SARAH: Oh man. I have something for you.
KAYLA: Mhm.
SARAH: This (clears throat) is motivational. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I don't give a damn what you think.
KAYLA: Hm
SARAH: I'm doing this for aspecs.
KAYLA: Hm.
SARAH: So fuck the world
KAYLA: (laughing) Oh
SARAH: Feed it beans
KAYLA: (laughing) What?
SARAH: (laughing) This is an Eminem lyric. Fuck the world feed it beans. It's gassed up if it thinks it's stoppin' me
KAYLA: Fuck the world feed it beans?
SARAH: (laughing) I love that line. It's from Not Afraid for anyone who's wondering.
KAYLA: I did not know that that was an Eminem lyric
SARAH: I specifically wanted to find some good rap lyrics then I wasn't really succeeding so then I specifically looked up Eminem and then I saw the quote and then I remembered the line after that is fuck the world feed it beans so then I looked up the lyrics of the whole song.
KAYLA: I want to get that tattooed on my person.
(laughter)
SARAH: (laughing) I'm doing this for me so fuck the world feed it beans. It's gassed up if it thinks it's stoppin' me.
KAYLA: Life is good. Make it beautiful. Good morning.
(Sarah laughing)
KAYLA: Fight with your strength. Stop that was just the middle. Fight with your strength but not with others' weaknesses
SARAH: mm
KAYLA: Because true success lies in your aspecs not in others' defeats. It's a picture of a bird sitting on a nest with a twig in its beak
SARAH: Yeah. How about this? What if he's on salary, paid hourly until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him, whichever comes first, for better or worse, he's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
KAYLA: Oh-kay
SARAH: His gift is a curse
KAYLA: Alright
SARAH: Forget the earth he's got the urge to pull his dick from the dirt
KAYLA: Huh?
SARAH: (laughing) And fuck the whole universe. This is another lyric from Not Afraid by Eminem.
KAYLA: This is not relaxing. I am no longer relaxed.
SARAH: But aren't you amused? Fuck the world. Feed it beans. It's gassed up if it thinks it's stoppin' me.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So proud of that. I'm so proud I saw that quote that was supposed to be motivational and I remembered that the feed it beans line was next
KAYLA: I'm very proud of you
SARAH: 30 rapper quotes to motivate –
KAYLA: No, no, no, no, no.
SARAH: You to keep grinding
KAYLA: No, no, no thank you
SARAH: My making it is a combination of grinding, grinding, grinding, and being lucky enough to finally get an aspec
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: That's from Busta Rhymes
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: You know, as a wise man once said, nothing can stop me. I'm all the way aspec
(40:00)
KAYLA: That is so true. That's so true.
SARAH: Why the fuck is Iggy Azalea on this list of rappers?
KAYLA: She's a rapper
SARAH: Also first of all this is totally paraphrased. It's "speak the truth even if your voice shakes" that's not original. Why the fuck is Iggy Azalea on this list?
KAYLA: Because she's a rapper!
SARAH: Oh my god
KAYLA: I'm starting to get very warm which means it's time to be done
SARAH: I have one more from Eminem
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: You've got enemies? Good. That means you actually stood up for aspecs.
(laughter)
KAYLA: So true Eminem. Thank you for saying that.
SARAH: You heard it here first, kids. Marshall Mathers number one aspec, pro activist, he loves us. I sounded like Trump when I said that. I'm so sorry that's not relaxing
KAYLA: Okay, moving on.
SARAH: Kayla what's our poll our goal, our... you know
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: What is it
KAYLA: Um. What is the most motivational aspec quote that you can create?
SARAH: Mm.
KAYLA: Create us a motivational aspec quote.
SARAH: That's very very good and I appreciate that. Kayla, would you like to tell me about only your juice because this is a relaxcast?
KAYLA: Yeah. My juice is that ... Mm
SARAH: My juice is the line fuck the world feed it beans
KAYLA: That's so true. My juice is that for like a month, a couple of the trains in Boston were closed to make them better, hopefully. There's probably still bad but we can dream. And the train that runs by my house wasn't running so we had to take stinky little shuttle buses, but it is now back.
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: And I can see it running right next to me through my office window and it just lights up a little bit and honestly it kind of reminds me –
SARAH: That's so sexy
KAYLA: Of a Roku city moment
SARAH: Ah she's in Roku city
KAYLA: or like a video game set in a city where you just see a train in the background going by between 2 buildings because that's kind of the view I have and honestly? It's vibes
SARAH: I love that for you.
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: She's in Roku city
KAYLA: Did you know there's not like an infinite loop of Roku city on YouTube?
SARAH: What's the point?
KAYLA: I expected there to be because I wanted it and it wasn't there, so.
SARAH: Heartbreaking
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: That's not relaxing. You know what is relaxing? The fact that this podcast is ending.
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your best and worst motivational aspec quotes on our social media @soundsfakepod. You can be relaxed with our other relaxcast. Is it more or less relaxing than this? I have no idea. Anyway. Yeah that's it. We also have a Patreon. patreon.com/soundsfakepod. I am going to read the patrons in a relaxing way, which is uncommon. Usually it's frenetic but today will be relaxing. Our $5 patrons we are promoting this week are Sofia P, SongOfStorm, The Forest Pigeon, The Stubby Tech, and Vishakh. Isn't that so calming? Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Arcnes who would like to promote the Trevor Project, Ari K who would like to promote Thought Slime, Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote Tabletop games, Changeling and Alex the ace cat who would like to promote starshipchangeling.net, and David Jay who would like to promote Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown. Our other relaxing $10 patrons are David Nurse, Derek and Carissa, CinnamonToastPunch, my Aunt Jeannie, Maggie Capalbo, Martin Chiesl, Mattie, Potater, Purple Hayes, Rosie Costello, Barefoot Backpacker, The Steve, and Zirklteo. Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum who would like to promote The Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Click4Caroline who would like to promote Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappell who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo who would like to support friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person. Keziah Root who would like to promote the people who come into your life for a small time but just when you relaxing need them, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla's relaxing Aunt Nina who would like to promote @katemaggart.art, and Sara Jones who is @eternalloli everywhere. Our $20 patrons are Sabrina Hauck who would like to promote who would like to promote relaxing Christmas from your parents, and Dragonfly who would like to promote relaxing.
(laughter)
KAYLA: (laughing) That's it? Okay I expected
SARAH: (laughing) I was trying to think but the only things I could think were Jewish holidays
KAYLA: (laughing) That's fine. You can have a relaxing Jewish holiday
SARAH: Relaxing Rosh Hashanah
KAYLA: Okay good
SARAH: Relaxing Yom Kippur – well Rosh Hashanah already happened but Yom Kippur is upcoming
KAYLA: And it can be relaxing.
SARAH: And it can be relaxing. I was just really confused as to why my brain was only providing me with Jewish holidays.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Thanks for relaxing listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears, and it will be less relaxing. I can tell you that.
KAYLA: Yeah definitely. And until then, take good care of your relaxed cows.
SARAH: And relaxing care of your good, relaxing. Take good... bye
KAYLA: Take aspec
(laughter)
(46:31)