Ep 57: Queer Issues in Politics
SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: And a demi straight girl (that’s me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: Queer issues in politics.
BOTH: — Sounds fake, but okay.
*Intro music*
SARAH: Hi, this is an unmic-ed Sarah from the future. My “Welcome back to the pod” got cut off. I don't know. Just go with it. Sorry.
- back to the pod.
KAYLA: Ooh bitch.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: That's all.
SARAH: Okay. It's raining out.
KAYLA: It is.
SARAH: You might be able to hear it.
KAYLA: I had to walk to class at 8:30 AM yesterday, and it was pouring rain.
SARAH: Disastrous.
KAYLA: And then Sarah was like, it was raining out? And I was like, yeah, if you had to be awake –
SARAH: No, Wednesday is the one day of the week where I don't have to be up early.
KAYLA: I get to sleep in tomorrow, and I don't know what to do with myself.
SARAH: I have a shoot day tomorrow
KAYLA: (sarcastic) I’m Sarah, and I’m a filmmaker.
SARAH: I don't like being on set.
KAYLA: Sure. You look very – Your eyelids are wrinkled, that's how distressed you are right now.
SARAH: I don’t like being on set. Okay, anyway –
KAYLA: On today's episode, Sarah doesn't want to go to set.
SARAH: I'm distressed for a lot of reasons. One of them is politics.
KAYLA: Segue.
SARAH: Oh yeah. This week's episode is – I have some thoughts and feelings on politics.
KAYLA: Really? I had no idea.
SARAH: You know like sometimes you think like, huh, if I didn't do what I'm going to school for, and I had to do something wildly different, I couldn't even do anything in the same genre, what would I do?
KAYLA: You would do politics?
SARAH: I wouldn't want to be a politician, but I would probably do something in there.
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: If I were in STEM, I think I would do public health, which would just make me my sister. Guys, that's what my sister's doing. Public health is interesting.
KAYLA: No, it's not.
SARAH: Yes, it is.
KAYLA: It's math.
SARAH: No, it's not. I mean, it is math but it's –
KAYLA: Too Math, Too Furious. Tokyo Drift.
SARAH: It’s about helping people by making the public healthier. Anyway – I was doing my third version of my step outline for my screenplay today, and I called it Step Outline 3: Tokyo Drift.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Anyway, politics. When we were planning – Correction, when I was planning out this –
KAYLA: Listen –
SARAH: This fall semester –
KAYLA: I'm not charge of content. I do other things.
SARAH: I was like, we should do some timely topics.
KAYLA: Ah, timely topics.
SARAH: Last week we did Halloween and this week –
KAYLA: How timely?
SARAH: I was like – So for those of you who don't know, God bless you because what a world you live in, if you don't know, I envy you. This coming Tuesday is – Actually if you're in America and you don't know? Bad, wrong, sprays you with water.
KAYLA: Got them, you got them.
SARAH: If you're not from America, it's fine.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: It's true, they don't need to know.
SARAH: We have an election on Tuesday, as I speak, as this –
KAYLA: I need to do my research.
SARAH: I know you do.
KAYLA: I do.
SARAH: As I'm speaking and as this episode is first coming out, the episode is Tuesday, November 6th, 2018 –
KAYLA: The episode is Tuesday?
SARAH: No, the election.
KAYLA: You said episode, I think. Play it back
SARAH: (laughs) No. The election is Tuesday, November 6th, 2018, it's midterms in the United States, possibly the most important midterm election we will ever see in our lives.
KAYLA: Probably, unless things go –
SARAH: Maybe the most important election in our lives? I don't know. Maybe the next presidential one –
KAYLA: Things could go very wrong from here, so maybe every election from now on –
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA : Is just going to –
SARAH: But yeah, this is an extremely important election in the United States, because things are wild.
KAYLA: They're not good.
SARAH: And it's bad, and if we don't turn things around in this election, it will only get worse.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I saw a tweet today that was like, hey millennials, or people between 18 to 25, you need to fucking vote in this election because if you're expecting a cavalry to come save you, they're not going to, because guess what? You're the cavalry. We're the cavalry, Kayla.
KAYLA: I'm a horse.
SARAH: Kayla's a horse.
KAYLA: I'm the horse girl.
SARAH: Anyway. But yeah, I wanted to talk about queer issues in relation to, not just American politics, but just politics in general, law making, legislation. But also, because I was like, are there ace issues in politics? I was like, I can't think of any.
KAYLA: Well, I think we're far too invisible for that.
SARAH: I know, right? I just thought that would be an interesting topic to explore a smidgeon. And also as much as politics makes people sad, it's important to be engaged, I think.
KAYLA: I saw a tweet today and it was like, “I'm not really into politics”. And they were like, that's because you'd be fine either way.
SARAH: Exactly. Did you see that article where it was like 12, like millennials on why they're choosing not to vote this election, and it was all a bunch of white people? And it's like, yeah. And someone is like, well, if you're not voting for yourself, vote for the people who legally can't vote, because they've been convicted of a crime, and they can just never vote again. You know, those people. Or all of the people in Georgia who aren't going to be able to vote because the guy who is running for governor is the current Secretary of State.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: He did not recuse himself from overseeing the election.
KAYLA: Is that legal?
SARAH: I don't think it's illegal.
KAYLA: I think that should –
SARAH: But what he's been doing is he's basically been freezing/canceling the registration of a lot of voters, over the past couple years, it's not just now.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: And he got in trouble for it a couple years ago, but then he just did it again. And it is disproportionately affecting Black voters. I think they said 16% of the ones that have been frozen are white and 65% of them are Black, and there are more white people than Black people in Georgia.
KAYLA: I'm just confused about why you're allowed to have one position, and run for a different one at the same time.
SARAH: Well, he won't have that position.
KAYLA: But he does now.
SARAH: He does now.
KAYLA: I don't get it.
SARAH: Well, but no, I do get it because it's like, if you lose – I don't know.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I don't know. But he's running against Stacey Abrams. If you are in Georgia, please vote for Stacey Abrams.
KAYLA: I don’t know that we have anyone in Georgia.
SARAH: I don't either, but please tell everyone you know, because Stacey Abrams is a Black woman.
KAYLA: That's wild.
SARAH: And this white guy named Brian Kemp is running against her. This is very off topic, I just have a lot of thoughts and I listen to pod Save America every week. Anyway, queer issues in –
KAYLA: The ticks.
SARAH: The ticks?
KAYLA: Isn't politics a little bit like a tick.
SARAH: I don't like that analogy. Okay.
KAYLA: Life is like a box of ticks.
SARAH: Okay, got to go. Got to go. So I was like, where the heck should I start? And I was like, I feel like same-sex marriage is a very basic – It's not the beginning and it's not the end, but it's the most well-known –
KAYLA: But it's there.
SARAH: In the United States, same-sex marriage has been legal since 2015 nationally, I believe that's correct?
KAYLA: That sounds about right.
SARAH: It's legal in a handful of countries.
KAYLA: Did you know it was first legalized, the first country to legalize it was Korea?
SARAH: Really? I thought it was Denmark or something.
KAYLA: I'm pretty sure I heard recently it was Korea, unless that person was wrong.
SARAH: I’m going to look it up right now.
KAYLA: (sighs)
SARAH: I know it became legal in Germany in 2017 when I was there. It's been legal in Canada for a couple years. It's –
KAYLA: Okay, well this is saying the Netherlands, but whatever.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway. But just because it's legal, doesn't mean that the fight for civil rights of queer people is over. I know recently India passed a law that, it didn't legalize same-sex marriage, but it did make gay sex no longer a crime.
KAYLA: Ooh.
SARAH: That's a step in the right direction. But yeah, same-sex marriage does not mean that the queer fight is over in politics, because transphobia in this country right now? Through the fucking roof.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: The recent gender buffoonery, it was my beef of the week last week. If you want to hear me get mad about that. The fucking bathroom laws, don't even get me started.
KAYLA: Don't get her started.
SARAH: Don't get me started. Also, just the fights about whether or not small businesses should have the right to discriminate based on sexuality. All that shit. Same-sex marriage does not solve that shit.
KAYLA: Here's my stance on – Here's –
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: I was just telling Kayla to get closer to the mic.
KAYLA: I'm in a gay class. It's a class about gays in the media.
(10:00)
SARAH: Woo, us. I'm not gay though.
KAYLA: I have mentioned us in class because I was like – I don't remember. Anyway, recently we've been learning a lot of about a lot of queer history, which is wild because there's just a lot that no one talks about anymore.
SARAH: Yeah. It's never fucking taught.
KAYLA: The AIDS epidemic and how the government did nothing.
SARAH: Jack shit.
KAYLA: Anyway, there's two camps, it’s assimilationists and then more like radicals. The assimilationists are like, we’re just like straight people, treat us the exact same, there's nothing different about us. And everyone else is like, well we are different, we should be allowed to be different –
SARAH: Let us be different. Yeah.
KAYLA: And be allowed to queer politics – Queer as in the verb to queer something, which is part of queer family – We should be able to queer politics, and queer the government.
SARAH: Queer it up.
KAYLA: Queer it the fuck up. It's like the, and I feel like we talked about this, the institution of marriage is just like a little bit fucked up. and it's like, would we rather be legally allowed to join that, or would our fight be better served in a place of, why is it such – Why it got to be a big thing/ Why can't we be legally bound to someone in a different way, or be allowed in a hospital room, or to be on the same –
SARAH: Right. And I think that's a valid point, but I think if you're looking at it from a cultural perspective, it's either a), you get this group of people to accept you or the other option is you change their entire way of life by changing the institution of marriage. And it's like, which is easier? Neither is easy.
KAYLA: Yeah. And it's not to say that I – I'm very for same-sex marriage. It's very good.
SARAH: It's great.
KAYLA: But it's the thing of, if we're going to continue assimilating and demanding to be treated the same way, there's always going to be a problem. It's never going to be solved, until some sort of negotiation can be reached between the two, I feel like. You don't have to tear down the whole of marriage, but until some agreement can be made, I don’t know that that looks like, but there's always going to be problems.
SARAH: And part of the problem is that the, the, the –
KAYLA: What is it? What's the problem, Sarah?
SARAH: I can't think of the word in English. I can only think of it in German.
KAYLA: My God, the amount of times we have this problem.
SARAH: The source, source isn't the word I want, but the source of part of the issue with marriage is that it was a transaction between father and husband of the woman.
KAYLA: We were just watching Will & Grace, the reboot –
SARAH: We were. Don't ask us why.
KAYLA: Because it came on after The Good Place, and they were joking about gay marriage and they were like, wasn't marriage just a way for a man to own a woman anyway? And we were like –
SARAH: Preach.
KAYLA: Yes. That's the tea.
SARAH: It was basically a transaction of a woman,, between her father and then her new husband, and also they had to give the husband's family some sheep.
KAYLA: The cows.
SARAH: The cows.
KAYLA: The cowry.
SARAH: Right back to the cowry.
KAYLA: I haven’t talked about the dowry in so long.
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: That's very exciting.
SARAH: But yeah, just like the, the, the –
KAYLA: The, the -
SARAH: Source. It's not source, source isn’t the right word.
KAYLA: Tell me it in German.
SARAH: The Grund.
KAYLA: Do you want to Google translate that?
SARAH: I don't know if the English word will even capture it well.
KAYLA: You bitch.
SARAH: Reason? See, that's not quite it, because Grund also means cause, grounds, whatever. (laughs)
KAYLA: You're so annoying.
SARAH: You told me to look it up.
KAYLA: Yeah. But the fact that you have this issue constantly of (mocking) I know it in German.
SARAH: It's not that common.
KAYLA: It's enough.
SARAH: It happens when people speak more than one language.
KAYLA: It’s enough.
SARAH: I'm sorry that I'm proficient in German, and you're not proficient in French, ho.
KAYLA: Dude, fuck French. I'm sorry. I know some of you are French but fuck French. Learning it here was not fun. Anyway.
SARAH: It's because you had to spend $300 on every single book. I've never had a German book in my life.
KAYLA: Boy, they were so expensive. Anyway –
SARAH: You need to get closer to the mic.
KAYLA: Boy, they were so expensive.
SARAH: (laughs) Whoa, where was this going? But just because the institution of marriage, not the institution of relationships, but the institution of marriage, as we know it today started in this very, heteronormative, misogynistic –
KAYLA: Patriarchal.
SARAH: Yeah, patriarchal deal.
KAYLA: Literally a deal.
SARAH: Literally a deal. A gentleman's agreement, if you will.
KAYLA: Ew, no way. We can’t really leave.
SARAH: No, it's my room.
KAYLA: It's our office right now.
SARAH: I cleaned it. You're welcome. But it's just the basis, like will marriage ever be able to get past that one without completely changing it? Probably not, because that's where it started.
But yeah, that's the thing with, queer issues is a lot of change is made socially from the ground up, it's not made – It's not like it's top down, where it's like a law is made, and then culture is changed because of the law. The laws are not going to change until the culture changes. And so, we achieved systemic success by the grassroots movement of legalizing same-sex marriage.
But the world is still full of homophobia and other things that need to be changed. And even if we were able to change the laws, that's not going to change the culture.
KAYLA: It's not going to, yeah.
SARAH: At least not very quickly.
KAYLA: No. And plus, things move backwards a lot. Like, you can get legalized gay marriage, and then now we're having issues of laws that are affecting trans people. It's not like once you win something, it's going to keep going up and up and up.
SARAH: Exactly. The world is still full of homophobia and transphobia and all that jazz, that's socially instituted and/or legally instituted.
KAYLA: What I'm hearing is kill all the straight people.
SARAH: Okay. Please don't quote us on that. Quote Kayla on that not me. (laughs)
KAYLA: The straight one.
SARAH: Part of the way to help fix that and make sure that stuff can be instituted from the top, is to put more queer people in government, and to give more queer people a voice. I found some statistics, Kayla.
KAYLA: Hit me.
SARAH: How much did you read them?
KAYLA: I skimmed.
SARAH: Do you remember the facts?
KAYLA: I know that one British person is ace.
SARAH: Okay. (laughs)
KAYLA: Which was wild.
SARAH: Queer people, do you think they're registered at higher or lower –
KAYLA: I know this already. It's lower.
SARAH: It's lower. It's lower, it's lower, kids. Less than half of queer Americans who were eligible voters in 2016 voted which –
KAYLA: In this recent election?
SARAH: In 2016, yeah.
KAYLA: Boy –
SARAH: Less than half of eligible queer Americans voted in 2016. I believe the number of total eligible Americans who voted was 61%, so it’s –
KAYLA: What the fuck?
SARAH: If only more people would fucking vote because –
KAYLA: I just –
SARAH: According to this website, which is them.us, which is they have this whole “Queer the vote” thing. They say that there are 11 million eligible queer voters in the United States. For context, 63 million people voted in 2016.
KAYLA: I just don't understand why queer people wouldn't vote in this recent election.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: It seemed like a pretty important time.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Though I definitely know some queer people that are quite conservative, so maybe I didn't want them to vote.
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Yeah, what I'm wondering is did some queer people, especially if they're white gay men, did they think same-sex marriage is legalized, so it doesn't matter to me anymore?
KAYLA: Boy. You know there are so many, I'm sorry – You know there are so many, I'm sorry – You know there are so many white gay middle-class men out there that are like, I'm doing great. I don't care. Black people, who?
SARAH: Right. Exactly. But for the midterms this year, because for context, I'm sure most of you know that America's a shit fire right now, but –
KAYLA: If you don't, God bless your tiny soul.
SARAH: I know. But for some context, basically all aspects of our government are currently being run by Republicans. That's not a super common occurrence because the presidency is a Republican, the House majority is Republican. The Senate majority is Republican and the judiciary is not supposed to be partisan, but let's be real. Let's look at those numbers. So –
KAYLA: If Ruth dies, ever –
SARAH: Ruth can't die.
KAYLA: I will lose my fucking mind.
SARAH: She has a personal trainer, she works out.
KAYLA: God bless.
SARAH: But that's not a super common occurrence in the United States. There's usually at least one that is balanced in the other direction.
KAYLA: Honestly, I think this is what I was talking about, things go backwards. There was so much progression, and then everyone was like, too much.
(20:00)
SARAH: Also though, there is research that shows that when more Democrats vote, Democrats win.
KAYLA: Yes, Sarah.
SARAH: But what I mean is when more people who are – Republicans always vote. Democrats don't, and so –
KAYLA: What is wrong?
SARAH: So if you can get the base moving, then Democrats will always win, but they just can't always get the base moving enough. Whereas, Republicans, they're going to vote. And so, those are the trends. And so, that's why the whole blue wave thing.
KAYLA: That was stupid as hell.
SARAH: It's like the whole blue wave thing
KAYLA: That's cause all the Democrats are young people.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Boy, if you're a young person –
SARAH: Please vote.
KAYLA: And also a Democrat. If you're Republican, I guess you can vote –
SARAH: I guess.
KAYLA: Because it's –
SARAH: But reconsider.
KAYLA: But maybe don't. Maybe just be sick that day.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: Voting is sexy. A group on the Michigan campus that followed the podcast, Twitter and our personals. If you're lit, do we know you? Hi. They retweeted my – Oh, we were going to talk about my Tinder thread.
SARAH: I also forgot to talk about my Halloween costume.
KAYLA: We have so much to speak about.
SARAH: Can we do this at the end?
SARAH: Yes.
SARAH: At the end, we're going to tell you all sorts of fun stories. We've got the whole thing.
KAYLA: We've been very active.
SARAH: But basically, the movement that's trying to happen this election, this coming week or this coming day is –
KAYLA: I need to research so bad. Just tell me who to vote for.
SARAH: I can help you. They're trying to energize the base, especially of young people, to vote because when young people vote, Democrats win. And so, that's why you want more queer people voting, because queer people will vote for people who have more progressive values and who will pass laws and legislation that support queer people.
KAYLA: Unless they're Caitlyn Jenner.
SARAH: Unless they're Caitlyn Jenner.
KAYLA: That bitch.
SARAH: Caitlyn eat-my-entire-ass Jenner.
KAYLA: Eat my entire ass.
SARAH: I also found some numbers courtesy of our buddies at New York Times.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: Basically there are more queer people running for office in 2018 than ever before, including in red states, including in states that are traditionally Republicans.
KAYLA: We love.
SARAH: Traditionally more conservative states. Currently in America today, there are about 500 openly LGBTQIA+ elected officials, which is a fun number. 500 seems like a big number until you think about the fact that that's only 0.1% of elected officials.
KAYLA: Oh sis.
SARAH: Oh sis. But they were saying that a lot of queer people running this year – First of all, a lot of minorities and "non- politicians" are running in this election, because they just saw what happened in 2016 and they were like, I can't just watch this anymore.
KAYLA: I have mixed feelings about that though, because we currently have a non-politician –
SARAH: Well, I think there's a difference between someone who hasn't held office before, and someone who is unprepared to hold office.
KAYLA: I guess, but when Oprah was all like, I'm running. I was like, Oprah, stay out of this.
SARAH: Yeah. But if you're talking about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, she’s prepared for that.
KAYLA: All right.
SARAH: Okay. Clearly, I'm more informed than you.
KAYLA: We all know that, we all been knew.
SARAH: We all been knew. But yeah, we were saying that a lot of them are – Because previously when queer people ran for office, it was more common for them to, they would run in queer areas where there's a higher queer population, like San Francisco or something like that, and they would tailor their pitches to their queer audiences. But now they're trying to appeal to a broader audience, they're being like, hey, I'm queer. I'm just like you, I can represent you.
KAYLA: We love assimilation.
SARAH: Which is assimilation, to some extent.
KAYLA: But it's also necessary for them, I think.
SARAH: It's also necessary because it's like, if like straight people don't think that queer people will be able to represent them – In that sense, I think assimilation is absolutely necessary.
KAYLA: For an election situation, yeah.
SARAH: And you don't necessarily need to change yourself, but you need to prove to them that you are able to –
KAYLA: You're enough of –
SARAH: Acknowledge.
KAYLA: Of a same human being. Right?
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: Which you think would be inherent, like, you're also a human being?
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: How do we have to – Anyway.
SARAH: Then I was like, okay. We have all these queer people, right?
KAYLA: You truly went on a journey.
SARAH: Oh, I did. I was at work. We have all these queer people running – I was using my work computer and then I was like, I feel like I'm googling really weird things. (laughs) But then one guy at work always leaves himself logged into his email and I'm like, I could just email people.
KAYLA: You should email him.
SARAH: His Spotify is also logged in all the time.
KAYLA: You should play some fun songs.
SARAH: Anyway. I was like, okay, I'm going to try and find ace candidates, ace umbrella candidates. I found jack shit. I found one person. He ran in 2016, and he lost.
KAYLA: Wow. My son.
SARAH: This was an article that was in the Gay Star News.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: It was only published two places, about how he was ace. He's this guy named Joe Parrish.
KAYLA: I want to find him.
SARAH: In 2016 he was 24 and he was a poli sci grad. He –
KAYLA: What's his name?
SARAH: Joe Parrish, Parrish with two Rs. He came out as ace when he was running. He was running for the House of Representatives in North Carolina, as a representative of a county within the state legislation, and he was openly ace, he talked about being openly ace, but he didn't campaign on it. It was just like a, hey, I'm running for this office. Also, I'm ace. He didn't really talk about ace issues, which is like, that's totally valid because –
KAYLA: No one knows what that is.
SARAH: No one knows what’s going on. But he ended up losing and it didn't look like he was rerunning for anything this election.
KAYLA: He was in the Army.
SARAH: That's exciting.
KAYLA: He is a Republican.
SARAH: No. Okay. Sorry. It cut off for some reason. He's not a Republican. He's a Democrat.
KAYLA: No, I was googling him and on asexuality.org, he posted this in –
SARAH: I saw that.
KAYLA: In 2016, he made a post and he was like, I was interviewed by this Gay Star News about being an openly ace candidate. Then this person made a threat about it, and then this person messaged me on Facebook and said I should join AVEN. So here he is.
SARAH: Woo. Yeah, unfortunately he didn't win, but he was openly ace, as he was running, which is exciting, but he was literally the only person I could find. So that's fun.
KAYLA: We want to follow you on Twitter, Joe.
SARAH: He doesn't have one.
KAYLA: Seems like it.
SARAH: Okay. But then I was like, all right, what about worldwide? Mr. Worldwide.
KAYLA: Mr. Worldwide, Pitbull.
SARAH: We touched on this, the whole idea of same-sex marriage worldwide. Obviously, I'm not as informed about international law in terms of –
KAYLA: Why not?
SARAH: Same-sex marriage and transgender issues. It's better some places than others, that's for sure. Some places like, gay sex is just illegal, it's sodomy. Then I was like, okay, are there ace candidates elsewhere in the world? Found a guy in England –
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: 2015. He seems to be the first ace candidate. His name is George Norman, sounds like George Foreman, like the grill. Unclear if he won, I'm super confused about how the British political system works. I really couldn't figure out if he won or not.
KAYLA: York?
SARAH: York, but I couldn't even figure out what he was running for.
KAYLA: A lot of ace people follow him. He looks like a child.
SARAH: (laughs) With glasses. What a lovely man.
KAYLA: Tell me this man isn’t 15, I dare you.
SARAH: He doesn't look like a child in this picture.
KAYLA: Okay, well his Twitter, but yeah. We're following him, George, if you’re listening –
SARAH: We're sorry for saying you look like a child. I don't think you look like a child.
KAYLA: Just a little bit.
SARAH: But yeah –
KAYLA: Man, a lot of ace things follow him.
SARAH: Makes sense.
KAYLA: How exciting.
SARAH: But again, he openly talked about being ace, and he talked about how ace issues need – Ace people need to be acknowledged in law, but he wasn't crusading on, I'm going to get ace rights, because that wouldn't really help a candidate to be honest.
KAYLA: Truly, I’m just looking through his Twitter and it's all about British politics, obviously. And truly, I have no idea what's going on over there.
SARAH: Same.
KAYLA: Married to Labour.
SARAH: He's a member of the Labour party.
SARAH: What's that?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: It’s a good one.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: It’s a good one, I think. I don't know. I have a friend who's in Australia and he's very politically engaged, and he's a fan of the Australian Labor Party, so –
KAYLA: That's very exciting.
SARAH: Yeah, then I was like – Okay, stop doing weird things with your hair tie.
(30:00)
KAYLA: I gotta.
SARAH: Then I was like, okay. Are there ace issues to be addressed in politics, to make laws about? Are there laws that can be instituted that directly benefit the asexual community, or is it just social grassroots change? Or is it just changing the culture? Are there actual laws that can be made? I found nothing on the internet about this.
KAYLA: For once.
SARAH: The only thing I was able to find is just the idea of explicitly including the ace identity in civil rights legislation. Like when you're talking about non-discrimination, specifically include ace people ,and I don't really think that there is too much discrimination against ace people in that scenario, just because of the fact that we're so under the radar, we're so invisible.
KAYLA: It's very easy to be passing as straight.
SARAH: Exactly. But I think just explicit inclusion of the identity in this legislation would be cool. Explicit support of the ace community by candidates would be cool. Just recognize us please. That'd be nice.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because again, as I said, a lot of times for queer issues, it's really grassroots change that changes things, like grassroots movements, but also in this situation, making people aware of the term would help. Top down would help.
KAYLA: Yeah, at least just like, I don't know. I'm sure there's some part of the government or some agency that's focused on the gays? If they could just say, hey.
SARAH: If they could just say hey to us –
KAYLA: Us specifically.
SARAH: Me and Kayla.
KAYLA: We should just go to Washington DC and be like, hey.
SARAH: Hey.
KAYLA: Hey.
SARAH: Look at me.
KAYLA: Maybe I'll just get a job in DC in whatever org I'm talking about that maybe exists, and then I'll work it from the inside.
SARAH: Good. Get inside.
KAYLA: Anyone want to give me a job? I'm still looking.
SARAH: Good. And then the other thing I thought of was, since corrective rape is a thing, in this community?
KAYLA: Bitch.
SARAH: As it is in basically every other community, fucking hell.
KAYLA: [That was] Also on the Will & Grace episode.
SARAH: Yeah, I know.
KAYLA: It took a very wild turn.
SARAH: It went SVU.
KAYLA: It truly did.
SARAH: But our community, again, basically like every other community on the planet, benefits from officials and laws that hold people accountable for sexual assault and for sexual harassment. You would think that'd be self-explanatory but alas, here we are.
KAYLA: And I think like there's a lot of things about protecting women from sexual assault, and protecting gay people from sexual assault. It would be at least nice to be like, hey, this is also an at-risk community. At least recognition of like, hey, watch out for these people. They’re also sad.
SARAH: They're also sad. Yeah, because I feel like it definitely is an issue in the community, and it's just not widely known, which on one hand it may even be to some extent, a good thing because then more people don't find out about it and try and do it. But also, it needs to be more well-known so that it can be prevented, and so the people who do it can be held better accountable.
Also, related to that related to some previous episodes, I found like actual peer-reviewed research that shows that even other folks on average have a negative bias towards the ace community, in the same way that straight people do.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah. We been knew that.
SARAH: I know, but science has proven it now.
KAYLA: There's ace science?
SARAH: Yeah, ace science, it's just because of the whole othering thing. Anyway, that's just a thing I found.
KAYLA: That's just sad.
SARAH: And then I was also scooting around on AVEN, because there's literally nothing on this, on the internet. I'm sure we're missing so many things because this is just what I was able to come up with, based on both –
KAYLA: I'm sure there's stuff deeper on the internet.
SARAH: I couldn't find it, but yeah.
KAYLA: Because it's deep.
SARAH: But it was interesting. There was a poll on AVEN, on the website asexuality.org, that was basically asking about the political orientations of ace people. To be fair, not very many participants on this poll. So I wouldn't call it super accurate.
KAYLA: Skewed data.
SARAH: And the comments devolve a lot, but it was just –
KAYLA: Ace people.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: We can never stay on topic.
SARAH: Yeah, I know. It was interesting because the first question said, which candidate for the 2016 United States presidential election, did you prefer? 67% said Hillary, 7% said Donald Trump, and 25% said no preference.
KAYLA: Well maybe they weren't from the US.
SARAH: You can still be not from the US and still have a preference. It said, which did you prefer? Not which did you vote for?
KAYLA: No, it's a no from me, dawg.
SARAH: Okay. But it's interesting because zero people said that they were socially conservative. Handful of people said fiscally conservative. But it was interesting looking at these numbers, even though they're probably not super reflective of the community. It was just – The only one that got 0% votes was socially conservative. Some people said mostly conservative, but they wouldn't consider themselves –
KAYLA: Socially conservative.
SARAH: No, well –
KAYLA: Mostly socially conservative.
SARAH: Yeah, which is interesting to me because if you're in a queer community, I usually assume that you're not socially conservative. In general, I assume you're not conservative, but if you are going to be, I would assume it would be fiscally. I just found that interesting, even though it's probably not super accurate.
KAYLA: What also makes me mad is like, I get being fiscally Republican, but when you're like, well, I voted for Trump because I know he's bad socially, but I think fiscal is more important. And I'm like, it is important, but these are people's lives.
SARAH: People's lives are at risk. I saw an article today written by someone who they were like, I used to identify myself as a proud Republican and I am telling you, in the midterms –
KAYLA: (sings) And I am telling you –
SARAH: Shhhh. I don't even know what that was supposed to be.
KAYLA: Comment below if you know what that –
SARAH: Was it fucking Celine Dion?
KAYLA: I don't know. (sings) You're going to love me. Do you not know this song?
SARAH: Can I tell you this very serious thing?
KAYLA: Boy, you never let me say what I want to, so I guess, because I'm a nice person.
SARAH: Okay. I was reading this article about this person who previously considered themselves a Republican, and they said this election – I almost said this semester. This election do not vote for any Republicans. And their reasoning was like, even if you are fiscally conservative, even if you agree with some of their opinions, no Republican has held Trump accountable for the things that he has done wrong. So you can say you hate Trump all you want, but if you vote for a Republican, you're supporting him.
Because no Republican, even the ones that are kind of holding him accountable, aren't holding him accountable.
KAYLA: Not enough.
SARAH: Even some Democrats aren't holding him accountable.
KAYLA: Yeah, we can complain about conservatives all we want, but Democrats aren’t doing great, either.
SARAH: I by no means think the democratic party is perfect, and I have tons of beef with it, but –
KAYLA: Ooh, beef.
SARAH: The beef. But if we're talking a lesser of two evils here.
KAYLA: You know who we should be sponsored by?
SARAH: The Democratic party?
KAYLA: Arby’s.
SARAH: The Democratic National Convention?
KAYLA: Arby’s, dude. We have the beef.
SARAH: We have the meat.
KAYLA: Arby’s, if you’re listening?
SARAH: Anyway, I honestly wish I had more to say on the subject of ace issues in politics, but I just don't know what they are.
KAYLA: I think prematurely, we should have an open-ended poll this week and be like, can you think of any laws or political changes that would benefit ace people?
SARAH: Yeah. Aside from sexual assault laws, and laws that explicitly include ace people in civil rights legislation.
KAYLA: Yeah, early poll.
SARAH: I kind of had everything I wanted to talk about, again, just because I couldn't find that much, because it's not something that's often talked about. And part of it is because we've discussed this before, the ace community is a bit of a weird one in that, the discrimination and the shit that we face is different from other members of the queer community, because we're not really being barred from getting married, because a lot of ace people aren't wanting to get married.
KAYLA: They don't. A lot of it is like, it's not political, it's not governmental. It's not systematic. It's really –
SARAH: It's hydromatic. (laughs)
KAYLA: (sings) It’s greased ace-ning.
SARAH: (sings) It's greased lightning. I believe what you meant was systemic.
KAYLA: Whatever.
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: I think that may be the reason that so many people are like, ace people don't have issues, is because it's not coming from the government.
SARAH: And it can't, to some extent.
KAYLA: And they really, like what is the government going do? Be like, you have to get married? And so –
SARAH: It's very much a social movement.
KAYLA: It's very social. And I think that maybe is a reason that other queer people have such an issue with including it, is because the type of discrimination is so different. But if you think about a lot of identities now, that is the kind of discrimination that people are facing as we get more and more progressive with laws. Soon enough, social issues are going to be the main or the only issues.
(40:00)
SARAH: And I think the discrimination that the ace community faces is also on a lot of ways more passive than the – You can't, that's a microphone, it picks up sound. You can't put things on it. Anyway, I think the discrimination that the ace community faces is in a lot of ways more passive, because people aren't barring you from doing things. People aren't saying, you can't use this drinking fountain. It's much more under the table.
KAYLA: It's a lot more like microaggressiony.
SARAH: Yes, yes. I would agree. And so, that's really –
KAYLA: Or like prejudice.
SARAH: Right. And that's really, really hard to address at a governmental systemic level.
KAYLA: Yeah. In my organizational psych class, we talked about how a lot of racial stuff is now implicit, and how much it affects people. And one of the big issues is there's no way to report it. Like if you have even a hard time thinking of examples of it, or even pointing things out, how are you going to report that to HR? How are you going to fix it when it's just all over the place, and it's just –
SARAH: When it's to do with just the environment in general rather than a specific –
KAYLA: Or like things that stack up over time. It's not like one big thing. It’s over time, over the years, then it's like –
SARAH: Yeah, it's a lot. So if you are in a place where you have power to vote, even if you're feeling a little disenfranchised, even if you're feeling a lot –
KAYLA: Girl, me too.
SARAH: Aren't we all? But that was the thing in that article that was 12 millennials talking about why they're not voting. One of them was like, well, I voted in 2016, but I just feel so disenfranchised. It's like, you know how to stop feeling disenfranchised is to fucking vote for people who won't make you feel disenfranchised.
KAYLA: That is the worst reason I've ever for not voting. That is truly awful.
SARAH: Yeah, it was bad. White people –
KAYLA: God, fucking – White people. I'm so sorry to any of you that aren't white.
SARAH: And when I say I'm sorry for us, I don't mean that I'm sorry for white people, I'm sorry for what we've done.
KAYLA: I don't feel sorry for us at all.
SARAH: No, no. I'm saying like, I'm sorry. I'm apologizing for the actions of white people.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: That's what I'm saying right now.
KAYLA: As opposed to what else would you be doing right now?
SARAH: No, I'm not saying that I feel bad for white people.
KAYLA: That's what I just said is, we don't feel bad.
SARAH: Okay. There's confusion.
KAYLA: This is why we could never be married.
SARAH: Okay. I forgot. Please vote. Whether you're in the United States or whether you're somewhere else. I know other places, you're required to vote.
KAYLA: What? Why don't we have that?
SARAH: It's a great question, Kayla.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: A lot of other countries have like, you're required to vote. If you don't vote, you have to pay a fine.
KAYLA: We would make so much money.
SARAH: I know, right?
KAYLA: What? Oh my God, why the fuck don't we have that?
SARAH: Why don't we have automatic voter registration? There's one state that has – Michigan –
KAYLA: Why can’t voting –
SARAH: Michigan especially is so bad with voter registration. I've talked about this a couple weeks ago. It's just like it's really bad. Especially on college students and on young people. And it's just so hard.
KAYLA: I had to get a new license because I had to change my voting – It was, oh my God.
SARAH: If you’re in Georgia, please make sure that your voter registration is still valid. Double check, because it might not be.
KAYLA: And if you can't vote, tell your friends who can vote, to vote. And if you're not in this country, I hope this was a nice lesson for you.
SARAH: I know a couple of people, I know at least one person who's here on a green card and she can't vote, so do it for her.
KAYLA: Did you see that people, non-citizens who have a child in the US, that the child might get its citizenship taken away?
SARAH: That's in the 14th amendment. You can't take that away.
KAYLA: They want to.
SARAH: Trump wants to. He's saying that because there's an election in five days, and he wants to move the topic of conversation that is literally in the 14th amendment, the 14th amendment being one of the three amendments that were instituted to end slavery. And it would take –
KAYLA: Did you see Kanye wanted to take away the amendment that literally says to abolish slavery?
SARAH: I did.
KAYLA: He's so Black.
SARAH: He's a fucking idiot.
KAYLA: Boy.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: He's like, who's the basketball player that's like best friends with Kin Jon, King Jong – I can’t. Kim Jong-Un? You know that basketball player?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Kanye is literally that to Trump.
SARAH: I know. That's horrible.
KAYLA: I wonder if they make fun of him in Korea.
SARAH: I don’t know.
KAYLA: Like we make fun of whoever –
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: I don’t know, man, this is a lot for me.
SARAH: Yeah. Please encourage everyone you know to vote, especially young people. We are the cavalry, just a quick reminder of that.
KAYLA: You’re a horse.
SARAH: You’re a horse.
KAYLA: Listen, if we don't vote, that fucking girl on Twitter with the ramen hair wins.
SARAH: Oh my God. Ramen hair gun girl from fucking Kent State.
KAYLA: She is a horse girl.
SARAH: She's a horse girl.
KAYLA: She looks like a horse girl.
SARAH: God. And people just keep giving her attention, which is on one hand, the tweets are all so funny, on the other hand, I don't want to give her any more attention.
KAYLA: Yeah, but if you don't vote, she wins. So think about that.
SARAH: Think about that, kids.
KAYLA: She'll probably make everyone have ramen hair, so we don't want that.
SARAH: Yeah. Just when you're voting, because all of you who are eligible to vote will be, right?
KAYLA: Oh man, no I – I have a poll now.
SARAH: Well, we'll get to it in a minute. When you vote, please think about how your vote reflects upon queer people, and how your vote reflects upon minority groups and disadvantaged groups. Because –
KAYLA: It's not just about you.
SARAH: It makes a fucking difference, especially if you are a white American like me. Especially if you are a straight white American or a straight cisgender male white American.
KAYLA: I think it's very similar to how white people need to be using their voices to make other people's voices louder. I think the same thing goes with votes is like, we very obviously have the power and so, we need to be using that in the ways that –
SARAH: Exactly. If you look at 2016, 51% of white women voted for Trump.
KAYLA: But wait, why?
SARAH: Why?
KAYLA: White women suck, dude.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Middle-aged white women? Literal monsters.
SARAH: Yeah. If you look at the racial and gender breakdown of the parties, there are very distinct lines. So that's fun. But please vote. Please make your voice be heard. I'm stressed. Okay. What was the new poll idea you came up with?
KAYLA: Recently, I learned in a class that the best way to get someone to vote and commit to it is you don't just ask them, are you voting? You ask them, what's your plan on election day?
SARAH: You bring an accountability buddy, you vote with someone.
KAYLA: Okay. Yeah. But the best way to get someone to actually go when you ask them is, you ask them their plans, because then they have to think about it and they're like –
SARAH: And they have to think, where the fuck is my polling place?
KAYLA: Well, yeah. They have to think about their polling place, what they're doing that day. If they have to think about it beforehand, they're more likely to do it. Maybe we should have two polls. What is your election day plan? And also, we can put that one maybe a couple days closer to –
SARAH: This'll be coming out on Sunday, anyways.
KAYLA: We'll put them both out. And the other one is, can you think of any laws or legal action that can be taken, other than civil rights and sexual assault, that could directly benefit ace people?
SARAH: Directly benefit this community.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Jeez, that's the easiest time we've had with the poll since literally episode two.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Remember when they used to just come to me and I was like, this is a great idea, we'll do this every time, I'm a genius?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Who am I?
SARAH: All right. As promised, we're telling you some things here at the end of the pod. My sister last week texted me, she goes, Sarah? Guess what I'm being for Halloween? And I was like, I don't know. She goes, I'm not actually going anywhere, but I'm going to make it, and I'll take a picture and I'm going to post it on the internet.
KAYLA: If that’s not just the most –
SARAH: Most millennial thing. And she was like, I'm going to be a ballot. She dressed up as a ballot, our ballot.
KAYLA: She really did.
SARAH: She put the actual names on it, and they’re on our ballot.
KAYLA: It's very detailed.
SARAH: She took some stuff out, but she got the basics. She dressed up as a ballot, and then she was like, Sarah, I’m making a costume for you. And I was like, what? And she was like, you're going to be an “I voted” sticker. And I was like, okay, cool.
KAYLA: Really? She should've made it – Well, I guess her ballot was not filled out. Right?
SARAH: It was not filled out.
KAYLA: Yours should have been an “I didn't vote” sticker, because it's supposed to be scary.
SARAH: But I did vote.
KAYLA: Yeah. But it's supposed to be scary.
SARAH: Yeah. The scariest thing is not voting.
KAYLA: Sexy not-voting.
SARAH: Sexy “I didn't vote” sticker. But also, because I voted absentee, I've never gotten my own ‘I voted’ sticker, so it's an upsetting moment for me.
KAYLA: I will try to steal you one this year.
SARAH: Please. Thank you. But yes, I voted, I did. I had a little “I voted” sticker costume, but then I was like, this looks like Captain America’s shield. And so, I actually made it into a shield. If you'd like to see pictures of it, you can see it on my Instagram, which is @costiellie.
KAYLA: Is that picture on Twitter?
SARAH: No, but we can put one there.
KAYLA: We can put it. Throw it up there.
(50:00)
SARAH: I'll ask my sister if I can put that picture of her as well. She probably won't care.
KAYLA: Her voice has been here.
SARAH: Yeah, that's true. But yeah, we did that and then I made a nice – I spent a long time on an Instagram captain on civic duty, Captain America’s shield, our greatest way to protect ourselves, American citizens. Civic duty.
KAYLA: And civic privilege too.
SARAH: What were you going to tell them?
KAYLA: This was a while ago now. And I know some of you follow me on Twitter, and thank you because you like my tweets.
SARAH: Follow me on Twitter too, @costiellie.
KAYLA: And so, on the last day of voter registration in Michigan, which was –
SARAH: October 9th.
KAYLA: Yeah. It's last month now. I went on Tinder and I asked men if they were registered to vote, and to register to vote and believe it or not, men don't like when you tell them what to do, which is pretty wild. But I got some hilarious responses. My thread –
SARAH: Didn't we talk about this last week?
KAYLA: We talked about my Tinder crusade.
SARAH: The ace crusade.
KAYLA: Truly I've been on a lot of crusades recently.
SARAH: Truly have.
KAYLA: It started with the voter registration. I did the ace crusade. That's on our Twitter.
SARAH: Are you going to do a please vote crusade?
KAYLA: Yes. So if you want to see the voter registration one, it's on my Twitter. It's my pinned tweet because, bitch, I got a hundred retweets.
SARAH: Did you really?
KAYLA: It's pretty up there. Maybe it's a hundred. Please hold. It's a lot.
SARAH: I know that I sent this tweet to you and I saw someone else tagged you in it. The tweet –
KAYLA: There's been a lot of tweets about people being like, I got on Tinder and told people to vote. Or, I got on Tinder – Everyone tags me in it and I'm like, this is my legacy.
SARAH: Well, if it's the one where someone was like, I spent $9.99 for Tinder Plus, I can change my location to swing states. (laughs)
KAYLA: No, I saw that tweet and several people sent it to me and I was like –
SARAH: I saw Hannah tagged you in it.
KAYLA: Yeah. I was like, it's me. Yeah, it's a hundred likes, but –
SARAH: I was going to say a hundred retweets is a lot.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'd be famous, I wouldn't be here because I'd be –
SARAH: You’d be Megan Amram.
KAYLA: I would be Megan Amram. I think a day or two before election day, and then on election day, I'm going to make sure that the men of Tinder are voting.
SARAH: Please – Oh, the guy unmatched from you, the one who got really mad, he was like, I'm in the Army.
KAYLA: No, he didn’t unmatch me. The other guy that was also mad at me for using Tinder as my social platform, he unmatched me.
SARAH: Army man, you need to –
KAYLA: I should – There's probably so many, well, there's a lot of matches now because when I go on crusades, I like to swipe right on everyone. And then I have a lot of matches, because I'm a cute lady.
SARAH: She's a cute lady.
KAYLA: I bet if I can search his name, I’ll check up on him.
SARAH: You’ll find him.
KAYLA: God, eat my entire ass, dude. (sarcastic) I'm in the military, I don’t need to do more civic duty.
SARAH: Yeah you do. Literally, the President is your boss.
KAYLA: You are the only profession where you get to vote for your boss. I would love to be able to do that, and you're telling me you don’t –
SARAH: Not in this election, but midterms matter a lot.
KAYLA: You're telling me you don't want to vote for your boss? We know of people that quit West Point when Trump got elected. If those people are doing that, and you're telling me you don't have the fucking time to register to vote, but you here on Tinder?
SARAH: Eat my, ass.
KAYLA: Eat my entire ass. Eat my entire ass of the week.
SARAH: Please vote. Fuck, I want to die. I was listening to Dear Hank and John, and John –
KAYLA: Wow, shocker.
SARAH: And John was saying how he –
KAYLA: They sponsor us.
SARAH: I know, right? He was saying how he likes to vote on election day. Even though they can do early voting in Indiana, which we can't do in Michigan, because Michigan is a hell hole. I'm kidding, I love Michigan, but Secretary of State, Ruth, what's your name? Goddammit. But he was saying that he always waits to vote until election day with the full knowledge that there's a small chance that he might die first. And Hank was like, “How often do you think that happens?" Where someone casts an early vote or an absentee vote and then they die before the election? Because technically, those votes probably shouldn't be counted.
KAYLA: Probably not.
SARAH: But it happens so rarely that it's probably not an issue.
KAYLA: And also, how would they know?
SARAH: I just thought that was funny.
KAYLA: That was funny.
SARAH: But yeah, the polls that we talked about 10 years ago, what's your plan to vote?
KAYLA: I need to write these down because I never remember it, and then I have to go back to the episode.
SARAH: And then she always asks me and I'm like, I don't know.
KAYLA: But since we talk about them and then talk about something else and then talk about something else, I can never find them. They updated Twitter for this?
SARAH: Ew, why? I could not find the drafts button recently. I had to google it. I had to google it.
KAYLA: I always have a problem with the drafts.
SARAH: Anyway, I didn't even know how to save the draft. I was like, what's going on? And I felt so old in that moment. I was like, Have I already passed my peak of understanding technology? My int –
KAYLA: Well, I just made a draft, so I probably won’t be able to get back to but –
SARAH: My intuition wasn't working correctly, and I was like –
KAYLA: Where is the draft button?
SARAH: I don't know. It's somewhere weird. I had to google it.
KAYLA: Where did it tell you?
SARAH: I don't remember, because it's not intuitive. I think it's Twitter's fault, I don't think I'm not old yet.
KAYLA: I think you’re still pretty stupid.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Drafts, you have to go to tweet something, and then it says drafts.
SARAH: Okay. I just – But mine doesn't do that. Anyway, maybe the new update put it back.
KAYLA: Maybe.
SARAH: I bet they put it back –
KAYLA: Because so many people were googling it?
SARAH: Yeah. I'm just so afraid of the moment when I realized that technology has outgrown me, and it's no longer intuitive for me to figure out how to fix things. That's my greatest fear in life.
KAYLA: We'll get there.
SARAH: I don't know if it's my greatest fear in life. Looking forward to this election. I think there might be things in that election I'm a little more afraid of, but it's fine.
So you can find our poll on our Twitter @soundsfakepod, you can also find us on Tumblr, soundsfakepod.tumblr.com or you can email us soundsfakepod@gmail.com.
KAYLA: I tweeted, I didn’t mean to tweet.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: Get rid of it, get rid of it.
SARAH: Stop tweeting during the podcast.
KAYLA: I was meant to save a draft because I’m not going to remember.
SARAH: Oh this is on our pod Twitter?
KAYLA: (laughs) It was on there for a second, but if you saw it –
BOTH: Sneak peek.
SARAH: Who has tweet notifications on?
KAYLA: If someone has tweet notifications on for us, first of all, why?
SARAH: We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to give us your money. I just realized I don’t have our patrons pulled up. Woo woo, talking, talking, talking, killing time.
Our $2 patrons are Sara Jones and Keith McBlaine –
KAYLA: I have nothing to say about this.
SARAH: This is the ideas list, this isn’t the right one.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: I remember our $2 patrons. Our $5 patrons are – I’m trying to do it without looking. This isn’t going to be in order. Austin Le, Perry Fiero, Asritha Vinnakota – We’ve hit all the people we know in real life.
KAYLA: Sara? Is there a Sara?
SARAH: I already did Sara.
KAYLA: Is there a Jones?
SARAH: Jennifer Smart, how could I forget Jennifer Smart?
KAYLA: Jennifer Smart is like, OG.
SARAH: And Drew Finney, our Midwest boy.
KAYLA: Man, how could you forget those? Jennifer Smart is like OG patron, and Drew Finney –
SARAH: I just panicked.
KAYLA: Is a dream.
SARAH: I know, right?
And our $10 patron is Emma Fink, you can find her on YouTube by looking up Emma T Fink.
Thanks for listening, please go vote –
KAYLA: Wait –
SARAH: Also, me and my sister got shirts that are all about, they say –
KAYLA: Who are we missing that we made the song about one time?
SARAH: Someone who’s no longer a patron.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. I was so scared.
SARAH: I’m looking at the list now.
KAYLA: If you would like to fill that spot, and have a song sung about you? Fill in those spots, because we’re poor and this does help. Do it.
SARAH: Yep. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your – Oh, we didn’t do beef of the week.
KAYLA: This whole episode’s our beef of the week.
SARAH: That’s true.
KAYLA: I did think about that.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: (laughs)
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Zeke goes, you spelled ‘civil’ wrong. Zeke doesn’t have a Twitter, does he? Can he hear me? (laughs)
SARAH: (laughing) Zeke? Anyway – How can he hear you spelling ‘civil’ wrong?
KAYLA: I don’t know.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Oh my God, a shitshow.
KAYLA: Does he have – Oh he does have a Twitter. Wow, he must have our tweet notifications on.
SARAH: We have someone with tweet notifications on. Wow, woo. I can’t believe that people can hear you spelling things wrong.
KAYLA: (laughing) I truly just, I truly don’t know.
SARAH: Sybil Trelawney? Sybil Tree-luini?
KAYLA: I’m done with this episode, I want to eat popcorn.
SARAH: Please vote. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears, and we’ll either be real happy or real sad. Until then – That’s your line. (laughs)
KAYLA: Take good care of your cows.
SARAH: And make sure your cows vote.