Ep 56: Sexy Halloween Costumes
SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: And a demi straight girl (that’s me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: Sexy Halloween costumes
BOTH: — Sounds fake, but okay.
*Intro music*
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
BOTH: Ooh, spooky.
SARAH: Spooky. Spoopy, actually.
KAYLA: Spoopy. I know a lot of people that hate when people say spoopy.
SARAH: Oh, I love it.
KAYLA: Also, today is the last day, when you're hearing this, of Asexual Awareness Week.
SARAH: Woo.
KAYLA: Because we didn't talk about it when it started, because we forgot.
SARAH: We forgot.
KAYLA: But this is us celebrating its end.
SARAH: Be aware.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: If you follow us on Twitter, you know.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Kayla, tell us about what you've been doing on Twitter.
KAYLA: I have been – We're going to talk about this more in a future episode, I think –
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: But I went on –
SARAH: We say that every time.
KAYLA: No, but we plan to talk. We have an episode and I plan to talk about it more in that episode.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: We've talked about this. Come on, Sarah. You don't pay attention during online business meetings.
SARAH: Oh yeah, I remember now.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: I went on Tinder a couple weeks ago to make sure men were registered to vote. Then it's Asexual Awareness Week, so I got on and was making the men of Tinder aware of asexuality.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: I've had a good response so far.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: It's only halfway through the week as we record this. It's a lot of me just explaining what asexuality is, which is good, they need to know. But it gets boring –
SARAH: And it gets exhausting.
KAYLA: It's very exhausting.
SARAH: That is also another episode that I would like to do.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: How exhausting it is.
KAYLA: It is exhausting. We can see if I have any – Let me check if we got anyone good on ye olde Tinder. Truly, I think what the most interesting thing I've gotten from this is one person, who was being very nice. I just question society about it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Is they were saying like – So a lot of people asked if I was ace. Sometimes, I just said yes, because I didn't feel like explaining, and other times I was like, no, I'm demi. So I told this guy I was demi and he asked what that meant. I was like, blah, blah, blah. Then he was like, I think that's really cool, I think a lot of people just hand out sex, like it's candy. I think the beginning of that conversation was –
SARAH: Speaking of Halloween.
KAYLA: Speaking of Halloween. I think the beginning of that conversation I put on Twitter, but then he continued to be like, I think it's really cool that you actually value – Or he said something to the effect of like, you know sex is better when you have emotional attachment and blah, blah, blah, which obviously I agree with.
But it makes me wonder if, because I'm a woman, it makes it so men are like, that's super cool that you – I'm special and that.
SARAH: You value your body.
KAYLA: Yeah, because women aren't supposed to like sex anyway. But I'm wondering if that would be the same reaction that people would have to men being demi.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Would they still be like, that's super cool.
SARAH: Yeah. I know for a fact that we have at least a couple of male demi listeners, so I'd love to hear what –
KAYLA: We've had someone that's been requesting recently for us to have a male guest on, like we did with Nathan, but an ace male guest. We don't know any male ace people in real life.
SARAH: Yeah. I definitely – Not that I know that many ace umbrella people, but the ones that I do know, tend to be –
KAYLA: They're mostly women. Yeah. I don't think any of the ace umbrella people we know that are men are purely ace, right?
SARAH: Right. Just asexual.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Anyway, this is not what this episode was supposed to be about.
SARAH: Not at all.
KAYLA: No, but it's a post-Asexuality Week rant. Anyway.
SARAH: And for –
KAYLA: Happy Halloween.
SARAH: Yeah. I hope you all had a wonderful Asexuality Awareness Week, whether you were aware of it or not.
KAYLA: I bet you were.
SARAH: If you follow us on Twitter, you will be.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Halloween.
KAYLA: It's coming.
SARAH: It's coming.
KAYLA: Wait, when's this episode coming out?
SARAH: It'll be before Halloween.
KAYLA: It's coming.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Here's the thing, I'm not big on Halloween. I like October. Halloween is not the peak of October. Peak of October is obviously October 12th.
KAYLA: It's Sarah's birthday.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't have any strong feelings towards or against Halloween. Now that I don't get free candy, I don't like it as much.
SARAH: Well, yeah, because I'm a very picky eater. So most of the free candy I got, I didn't like.
KAYLA: I also don't like – Halloween is peak party season. Like it's peak ho season, they say. A lot of people hook up during Halloween, because you've been at school long enough to get your bearings. Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's a lot of drinking. A lot of sex I think happens?
SARAH: In college, so they say.
KAYLA: In college around Halloween? I don't –
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Really know, but that's maybe why it's not so exciting for us.
SARAH: Yeah. I think part of the reason though, since we're actually going to segue into our real topic.
KAYLA: Woo.
SARAH: I think part of the reason I was never super into Halloween is because I was never particularly inspired about costumes. I know some people get very into Halloween costumes. Now that I'm older, seeing the cosplay that people do,I feel I like costumes better now as an adult.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, because a lot of people do homemade – People who cosplay, they do that all themselves.
KAYLA: Yeah, they do it themselves.
SARAH: Whether they scour the internet for the actual correct clothes, or whether they sew them themselves. But I think part of the problem was because as a kid, I felt very limited by my options. If you were to hop over to Party City – Okay, roll back. Halloween in America –
KAYLA: Oh, no.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: I don't know to what extent Halloween is celebrated in other countries, especially non-English speaking countries.
KAYLA: I truly don't know.
SARAH: But you put on a costume, you walk around the neighborhood, you go to people's houses. You say trick or treat, they give you candy, and you leave.
KAYLA: You put it in your pillowcase.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: We used pillowcase as bags.
SARAH: We used to have little plastic pumpkin bags, and then we used to go and use those.
KAYLA: Boo, not big enough.
SARAH: Yeah. They're not big enough. It's fine when you're little.
KAYLA: Boo.
SARAH: Boo. Spooky.
KAYLA: Spooky.
SARAH: I got a rock.
KAYLA: Good reference.
SARAH: Thank you. Great reference. Great pumpkin.
KAYLA: Great pumpkin reference.
SARAH: Oh, if you don't know what I'm talking about. It's not okay. Watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Anyway.
KAYLA: It's a good one.
SARAH: But World War I flying ace, terrifying.
KAYLA: It's not, you were just –
SARAH: It terrified me as a kid.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Sorry. I felt limited by my options when one went over to Party City to buy your costume.
KAYLA: See, my mom made me and my sister costumes every year. Every year she sewed them together.
SARAH: My mom did not do that.
KAYLA: So we really – Limitless options.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Not really, but we kind of –
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, there were a couple years where I did more of a from scratch sort of thing, but it wasn't until I was older.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Speaking of Charlie Brown, the last Thanks – The last Thanksgiving? (laughs) The last Halloween that I went trick or treating, my sister dressed as Charlie Brown and I dressed as Snoopy and I just showed a picture of it to Kayla and she was like, you look dumb. I was like, I know.
KAYLA: It was pretty bad.
SARAH: My sister wore a bald cap, it was great.
KAYLA: That also looked dumb. They both looked dumb.
SARAH: We did. She knew she looked dumb though.
KAYLA: That's good.
SARAH: Okay. Yeah. But anyway. Wow, that was just, I saw the opportunity and I took it. (laughs) Kayla literally has her head on her hands right now.
KAYLA: It was not helping my headache.
SARAH: How does that impact your headache? Anyway.
KAYLA: You just being stupid. I don't know.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Roommate problems.
SARAH: (laughs) But I mean, especially for younger kids, if you're going to do a store-bought costume, which most of the people I knew did –
KAYLA: They're expensive.
SARAH: First of all, they're expensive.
KAYLA: Very low quality.
SARAH: But they're cheap. The quality is cheap.
KAYLA: Very low quality, very expensive. It's so annoying.
SARAH: It's dumb. Also, just because we're in Michigan –
KAYLA: You always had to put a coat over it.
SARAH: It's so –
KAYLA: You'd have a great costume, and then your mom would be like, wear a coat. I would be like, Mom –
SARAH: Yeah. No, I have experienced Halloweens where it was 60 degrees.
KAYLA: I feel like I –
SARAH: I have experienced Halloweens where it snowed.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So you need to be – I was telling my friend from California this the other day, Halloween in Michigan, you need to be prepared to put a snowsuit under your costume if you need to.
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: So that's fun. But whoa, what was I talking about?
KAYLA: Oh my God. It's a mess.
(10:00)
SARAH: I felt limited. But I mean, because a lot of the costume options, especially for kids – Everyone, let's be real. In terms of store-bought costumes, it's very much along stereotypical gender lines. It's girls are princesses, and boys are superheroes. That's what it is. I was Tinker Bell three times.
KAYLA: She was.
SARAH: I really liked Tinker Bell, but I have never seen the animated Peter Pan, so it's –
KAYLA: Are we ever going to get to the real topic of this episode?
SARAH: We're slowly getting there. This is a segue because we're talking about –
KAYLA: It's a very long segue.
SARAH: Well, no, because we're talking about gender stereotypes.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Fine. Go for it.
SARAH: Kayla.
KAYLA: Yes?
SARAH: The gender stereotypes start at a young age.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: You're welcome. But also, you know what the weird thing is? You see these –
KAYLA: Tell them.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: You see these superhero costumes, Superman is a big one, where they would have built in fake muscles.
KAYLA: Oh yeah.
SARAH: I'm like, you're four years old. What?
KAYLA: I get it though, because if you're dressing up as the Hulk, you're not going to be skinny Hulk.
SARAH: Oh I know. But masculinity?
KAYLA: That's not a masculine thing. Superman literally just has large muscles.
SARAH: I mean, yeah.
KAYLA: I think you think it's a –
SARAH: Hulk makes sense.
KAYLA: I think you think it's a masculinity thing, because big muscles aren't given to women.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: If big muscles were given to women, then women's costumes would have them. So it's not the costume's fault. It's lack of characters who are women that don't just have big boobs.
SARAH: Well also just because male characters, the reason they're so buff – I mean, yes, they're buff because they're superheroes and they need to be. But they are buff because that is the ideal masculine form.
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: It is. But yeah. So you little girls of the world, your options were princesses and what? I don't even know.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. I think I was an angel one year.
SARAH: Yeah. Angel. You might be a devil if you're –
KAYLA: Or you might be half angel, half devil, those are good ones.
SARAH: Oh, that was a thing.
KAYLA: Those were good ones.
SARAH: Yeah. Now I'm curious what they've got going these days.
KAYLA: That's going to be such loud typing.
SARAH: I'm sorry. They know I'm typing. Oh spirithalloween.com.
KAYLA: Gross.
SARAH: All right.
KAYLA: They're going to be different now though. I feel like there's more options now.
SARAH: Oh, I'm sure there are more options now, but I still think it'd be interesting to look. Yeah. I think there are probably – Definitely kids these days can probably actually dress as what? Female superheroes? Whomst?
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm sure Wonder Woman is there.
SARAH: Yeah. But those costumes are also – Oh, I love how it's split between boys and girls.
KAYLA: I mean that's like any other clothing store.
SARAH: I know, I just hate it. Oh my God. The first one that came up is kids plush cuddle team leader costume, Fortnite.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: The next one is also Fortnite, killer clown goddess. Some Hocus Pocus characters.
KAYLA: That's ancient.
SARAH: Long Victorian vampiress. More Hocus Pocus, witch –
KAYLA: You can be a witch.
SARAH: JoJo Siwa, whatever her name is.
KAYLA: Yeah. She has her own costumes.
SARAH: Yeah. Nerd, Cher Horowitz from Clueless, Wonder Woman.
KAYLA: Wow. They're really taking it back.
SARAH: Eleven. A lot of these are characters, which, I like that. I think that's good because not just characters like princesses, but other characters from other things. We got a Gryffindor one –
KAYLA: That's exciting.
SARAH: A devil, of course. Zombie bride, okay. Peacock, cheerleader zombie – Oh, cheerleader was a big one. People would just dress up as cheerleaders.
KAYLA: Oh yeah. That's true.
SARAH: I like how that's a costume, but –
KAYLA: It's just like you dressing up as a tennis player.
SARAH: I know. The thing about all these costumes though, is that the vast majority of them involve skirts, even if they don't need to. This is a fox costume –
KAYLA: That's right.
SARAH: Why is there a skirt?
KAYLA: That doesn't make sense.
SARAH: Unicorn, skirt. Scarecrow, skirt. Rainbow cat, skirt.
KAYLA: A scarecrow can't have a skirt.
SARAH: Pirate, skirt.
KAYLA: Well, I feel all the pictures of pirate ladies, they have skirts.
SARAH: I know. Pixie, skirt, Robin Hood, skirt.
KAYLA: Sounds you're just being, skirt.
SARAH: Sassy sergeant, skirt.
KAYLA: What does that mean?
SARAH: It's a police officer.
KAYLA: Why is she sassy?
SARAH: A police officer in a skirt. Because she's a girl, Kayla.
KAYLA: That's true. She can't be –
SARAH: Killer clown, skirt. What the point here is –
KAYLA: Is skirts.
SARAH: Is that, Kayla, stop looking at your phone.
KAYLA: I'm on Tinder.
SARAH: Be present.
KAYLA: I'm making my Tinder rounds.
SARAH: It starts young, just the social indoctrination –
KAYLA: Oh, sis.
SARAH: Of gender stereotypes is present.
KAYLA: Oh, it starts when you're an infant.
SARAH: Oh, it starts when you're so young, but as you get older, and as you start being considered, how one might say, a sexual object by society, It's those same costumes just turned “sexy”.
KAYLA: Yeah, which is the topic of today. We've arrived.
SARAH: That is the topic. We got there. Kayla?
KAYLA: Yes, ma'am?
SARAH: Sexy costumes.
KAYLA: They're there.
SARAH: Thoughts?
KAYLA: I have conflicting – I'm conflicted about it.
SARAH: Same.
KAYLA: Because on one hand, I think it's stupid that when you look up costumes for women, it's all sexy nurse and –
SARAH: You know what I just realized?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Sassy sergeant is just the kid version of sexy sergeant.
KAYLA: It is.
SARAH: Ugh.
KAYLA: Anyway, it sucks because if you go on Spirit or Party City or whatever, and you go to the women's section of Halloween costumes, they're all just sexy. Boobs out, tiny skirt, whatever.
So on the one hand, it sucks that those are your only options, and it sucks because that's what people expect women to do on Halloween. That's just the norm, which sucks because not everyone wants to do that.
SARAH: Right. And if it's not a skirt, I'm looking at some now –
KAYLA: Oh, it's very tight pants.
SARAH: If it's not a skirt, it's really, really, it's a tight body suit.
KAYLA: Right.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Which so, on the one hand, it sucks that that's the norm, but on the other hand, if you want to do that, I'm not going to shame you for that.
SARAH: Right. I think I wouldn't wear a “sexy costume”, but I think people should have the right to be able to wear them, if they want.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: The problem is not that people are able to, the problem is not that people do, the problem is that these “sexy costumes” are what saturate the market.
KAYLA: The problem is, I think that – The problem is that they're the expectation –
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: It's not that it's really a choice, it's kind of being thrust upon you, and you have to make the active choice not to do it.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Because the default is for you to do a sexy costume.
SARAH: Exactly. If you want to do a non-sexy costume, there are kind of two options. One option is dress as a character that inherently has a non-sexy costume. So if you want to dress up as Louise from Bob's Burgers – First of all, she's a child. So of course, you –
KAYLA: You could definitely do a sexy Louise though, I'm sure that exists.
SARAH: You could do a sexy version of it. Or you have to make your own costume.
KAYLA: That's the weird thing I think to me, is you take things that are inherently un-sexy, and we're going to do a bit about this later –
SARAH: Oh, we sure are.
KAYLA: But doing a sexy Louise, people will intentionally take things that are not sexy, and then make them sexy.
SARAH: Sexy nun is very common.
KAYLA: Right. So are you doing that because that's what people expect of you?
SARAH: Adult medieval warrior costume. This woman has fucking armor on and she's wearing four-inch heels.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: They're pumps.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: What? I dig the cape though.
KAYLA: I –
SARAH: But as Edna Mode says, no capes.
KAYLA: True. I don't know. I'm conflicted about it because on the one hand, I don't think I dress super sexually as a person. I wear tight clothes and short skirts, but I can see the appeal of doing a sexy costume because it's kind of your free pass to just be I'm just doing it. I can see the appeal of that, and I could see why I would even want to do that.
SARAH: Right. You're about to roll your eyes at me, but I'm about to bring in Mean Girls, The Musical.
KAYLA: Or just the movie.
SARAH: The movie, but there's a specific thing in the musical. So for those of you who are familiar with Mean Girls, also the movie, the Halloween thing –
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Where she gets invited to the Halloween party, Katie goes, all of the girls are wearing “sexy” costumes.
KAYLA: They're just wearing lingerie is really what it is.
SARAH: She goes wearing this scary –
KAYLA: She's a zombie bride.
SARAH: She's like a zombie bride.
KAYLA: Yeah. Oh she's supposed to be an ex-wife or something, is the joke? I don't know.
SARAH: But the people look at her weird, people are like, what's going on?
KAYLA: Because she dresses actually scary. And they're like, what's wrong? What's this all about?
SARAH: Right. It's a good costume.
KAYLA: Oh, very good.
SARAH: All the guys are wearing either superhero costumes or athlete costumes. Also, if you think about it, little boys can wear any athlete costume, but girls it's just cheerleader is your only option.
(20:00)
KAYLA: Yeah, that's true.
SARAH: I think I went as a gymnast once, because that was very easy.
KAYLA: I'm sure I wore my dance costumes at some point.
SARAH: Anyway, but in the musical, and I'm going to come back to this, when we do our little bit at the end.
KAYLA: A bit.
SARAH: But in the musical, there is a song called Sexy, sung by Karen who's the “stupid” one. She talks about how Halloween is an excuse to get trashed and to wear sexy clothes and a sexy costume.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: She names off – So I mean, all of the dancers on stage are all wearing these absurd, sexy costumes, which I'll talk about later. But that's the norm in America, or that's seen as the norm.
KAYLA: I mean, even in the movie, I think they do a bit, because they do a lot of voiceovers in the movie. I feel like one of the voiceovers talks about how it is literally an excuse for girls to wear lingerie, put on some cat ears and be like –
SARAH: In the song that's basically what she says.
KAYLA: Yeah. That's a scene in the movie and the song, and it's kind of the truth. It's – What's sad –
SARAH: Okay. It's like people can dress – Girls feel they can dress sexy without being slut shamed.
KAYLA: Okay. I was just going to say that. For one thing, it's also wrong though, they are still being slut shamed because people always make fun of girls being sexy on Halloween, even though it's the norm and that's what society wants. Society at the same time is like, well that's not women.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: So at the same time they're saying that you should do that and they're still slut shaming you.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So it's very confusing.
SARAH: Right. I'm looking at the lyrics of this song now. You could really do a close reading of this song because on the surface level, it's a very funny song because she's like, once a year I can dress up as someone who's not me, but who's still hot. Because that's the thing, right? But then she's saying, I can be who I want to be, and sexy, as if you can't be – This is not a very good close reading.
KAYLA: No, it's really not. I give this essay a C.
SARAH: It's interesting because she's like, I can be who I want to be. But it's also very important that I be sexy.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because being sexy is not inherent to that, but also I don't even –
KAYLA: It's still important.
SARAH: Yeah. It's just weird.
KAYLA: It's just another thing where there's no way for a woman to win. It's like, you do what they want, and you still lose. You don't do it, and you still lose. There's downsides both ways.
SARAH: Right. There's a funny line at the end of the song where she goes, this is modern feminism talking. I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in.
KAYLA: See, that line, I don't know about.
SARAH: Oh, I think it's very self-aware. I think it's basically saying – Because I don't take that line at face value. I think she is saying it, like the character herself, is saying it and means that. But I don't think that that's what Tina Fey is trying to tell us.
KAYLA: I just know that when I listen that song, the first time I heard that I was like, huh? Because that reminds me of women that put down other women.
SARAH: Well, right.
KAYLA: To me, it almost sounds to me like Tina Fey putting down women like Karen, when we should be supporting women like Karen.
SARAH: I guess, but –
KAYLA: Even though she's an idiot.
SARAH: But by the end, that's not the idea you get.
KAYLA: No, I know, but it's – I don't know.
SARAH: I also think, there's kind of a point to that, where it's like, I expected to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in. It's like, well, why do we wear shoes that we can't walk in? Because we're trying to fit a certain ideal. So she wants to run the world, but she knows she can't run the world unless she fits that ideal.
KAYLA: I guess. Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, we've devolved again.
KAYLA: What else is new on this podcast?
SARAH: What else is new?
KAYLA: It's just so complicated because I feel there's a lot of women that are very self-righteous about, well I'm not going to dress sexy and women that do aresluts and they suck. But I also think that that's just bad, because then you're just pitting people against each other.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And it's –
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Even –
SARAH: If I see someone in a “sexy” Halloween costume, my knee jerk reaction is to judge them. But then I'm like, wait.
KAYLA: Oh yeah. I mean, my initial reaction is, what a dumb ho.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But really, you shouldn't be judging them. You should be just judging the world.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But of course, you're going to judge them.
Sarah's trying to remember a thought she forgot, and so I went back on Tinder to see how my awareness campaign was going. This guy was like, can you tell me about asexuality? And I told him. He asked me what I can tell him about asexuality. I told him it was Asexual Awareness Week. He said, that's awesome, I had no idea. I told him now you're aware. And he just goes, you're an angel.
SARAH: Oh my God. (laughs)
I remembered it. So on the TV show, Superstore.
KAYLA: Superstore.
SARAH: Superstore. They always do a Halloween – Well, an episode, it's not always based in Halloween, but they are all wearing Halloween costumes on that day. One of the characters, on the first season, Dina was not wearing a costume. She was the only one not wearing a costume. They were like, Dina, you have to wear a costume. Like what, it's Halloween. She was like, fine.
So she goes somewhere in the store and just gets a costume and puts it on. Granted everyone else, some people are wearing sexier costumes, but they all have pretty –
KAYLA: I mean they're at work.
SARAH: Good costumes, tbh. Yeah. But then she comes out and she's wearing this sexy cop costume, which is just really funny for her character. Because she's Dina, I don't know, she's not a sexy cop.
KAYLA: Dina reminds me, I don't think she's gay, but she reminds me of a butch woman.
SARAH: Yeah. Which not that a character such as Dina can't be sexy, but –
KAYLA: But she's not what you would expect.
SARAH: It doesn't match with her personality really, and that was the point.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So every season since then, everyone else has worn a different costume, but she's worn the same one.
KAYLA: That's funny.
SARAH: This year I saw some promo pictures for the episode, and she's nine months pregnant.
KAYLA: Is she still wearing it?
SARAH: And she's still wearing the costume.
KAYLA: Oh, I love it.
SARAH: I was thinking about that and I was on one hand, that's just really funny because it's – I don't know, in my TV writing class, we're learning about what makes things funny? One of them is mixing the sacred with the profane So it's like, motherhood with sexy cop.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But also it's kind of sad because it's like, are you saying that mothers can't be – Now that they're a mother, they can't be sexual beings?
KAYLA: Yeah, of course, that's what they're saying.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because if you think about it, you're a young girl, you're the sassy cop. Then you're in your 20s and you're a sexy cop. Then you're a mom.
SARAH: You're the mom cop?
KAYLA: Well, even when you get cuffed, then all of a sudden you're doing couples’ costumes, which I think couples’ costumes are hilarious a lot of the times.
SARAH: I mean, we've done house costumes.
KAYLA: Oh yeah. I feel a lot of people in college, I feel do house costumes, which are a great time.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: But once you get above a certain age, you're like, well you're not sexy anymore, because you're an old woman.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: I mean, this is a problem that women have a lot of times, is you hit a certain age and you're just the worst.
SARAH: Female actors.
KAYLA: Yeah, right.
SARAH: I think Meryl Streep was like, once you get to a certain age, you're only called to play the witch.
KAYLA: You're a witch, or you're the mother.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Or, yeah. I mean, it's true.
SARAH: There's also a really good Carrie Fisher quote where she was presenting at an award show. She was like, can everyone see me? I just wanted to make sure, because at my age, most women in Hollywood are invisible.
KAYLA: Queen. I miss her and her dumb Twitter.
SARAH: It was just her birthday the other day.
KAYLA: That's sad.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: RIP.
SARAH: Oh, slave Leia costumes. Saw those.
KAYLA: Oh those –
SARAH: On the website.
KAYLA: They're –
SARAH: At Comic Con, saw those.
KAYLA: Yeah. There was a Friends episode about that one time. It was Ross's kink and Rachel dressed up as it. That was a whole cultural moment.
SARAH: There's a whole –
KAYLA: That costume.
SARAH: There's a lot of controversy with that costume, because on one hand, people are like, well, Jabba the Hutt forced her to wear this metal slave bikini. She was forced to, because she was his slave, so obviously that's very bad.
But then they were like, well, there are parallels to the fact that she was also forced to wear it for the movie. Then people were like, you're just sexualizing her, at what's his face, George Lucas. But then it's also like, well just because her character's a slave, doesn't mean that the actor is also that.
KAYLA: Did she want to wear it though?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: I feel like she didn't. I don't remember.
SARAH: Probably not. They also didn't let her wear underwear for no reason.
KAYLA: Well. (sighs) It also makes sense though, because it's a parallel to being a sex slave.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: So on one hand, it's something that it's interesting to convey on screen because there's a point to be made there, of how women are treated. On the other hand –
KAYLA: But people obviously didn't take the point.
SARAH: People didn't necessarily take the point, and especially because the audience, especially at that time, this was the original – We’re talking about Star Wars, in case you missed it. In case you missed that one.
The original trilogy came out in late 70s, early 80s. The audience for sci-fi films at the time was considered to be white guys.
KAYLA: That's still considered to be now.
SARAH: Yeah, but especially so, that was their audience. So they're catering to that audience by putting Carrie Fisher in the bikini on their screen.
(30:00)
KAYLA: Yeah. They really – I mean, a definite, a good point could have been made by that scene. But it –
SARAH: It wasn't.
KAYLA: I mean, it was wasn't and I don't think it intended –
SARAH: It was just a thing, and then she got dressed and it was over.
KAYLA: I don't think they intended it to make a point either.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: It would've been –
SARAH: I think it was just there because they could.
KAYLA: Oh yeah.
SARAH: And because their audience would like it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Which is sad.
KAYLA: Yep. As an asexual person, just to make this relevant to our overall theme –
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Do you think your asexuality gives you a different perspective on sexualized costumes?
SARAH: I think it gives me a somewhat more objective perspective, because I don't feel pressure to look sexy to attract people.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So because of that, I think I'm able to view the concept of sexiness a little bit more objectively, about why people are doing it and to what end? How even, in what way they're displaying their sexuality? I am not a very sexual person.
KAYLA: You're not.
SARAH: So I would never wear those. So on one hand, I'm not a very sexual person, but also I've been conditioned by a society that tells me that if a woman dresses sexually, she's a slut, or whatever.
So on one hand, I'm trying to get that out of my brain. On the other hand, I'm like you shouldn't –
KAYLA: That's just not you.
SARAH: Yeah. It's not me. On one hand, I don't want to slut shame this person. But on the other hand, what is the reason that they're dressing like this? Are they dressing like this because of the societal pressure to “impress men”?
KAYLA: Or do they just want to?
SARAH: Or do they just want to?
KAYLA: Yeah. I would be interested to hear a gay woman's perspective on it. Because when I think of women dressing sexy, I automatically think of straight women. I've never thought –
SARAH: Straight, white women.
KAYLA: Straight, white women, for sure.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I've never thought to ask or pay attention to what my gay female friends were wearing on Halloween, and if they were also participating in that sexy Halloween culture. Or if gay women are participating to the same degree as straight women seem to.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, even just thinking about – And I'm thinking about myself, again, this is another episode that we want to talk about, is dressing and how you clothe yourself.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But recently I was at a wedding and the dress I wore, it was very low cut and I was wearing a bralette, but it was still low cut.
KAYLA: It was.
SARAH: When I was at home, I was like, this is fine. Because nothing that I've ever done has ever felt sexual. It's fine. It's fine.
KAYLA: (laughs) Who?
SARAH: But then when I was there, I found myself constantly pulling it up. And I was like why? Because other people are here, and I'm afraid that they will view it as a sexual thing, even though I don't.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Which is dumb. Not related though. (laughs) Yeah. Another thing I did want to mention, when I was just kind of perusing the costume websites of the world. A thing I noticed is that – So part of the reason why a lot of the non-skirt costumes are super skintight is because they're cheap, and it's the least amount of material.
KAYLA: They're very cheap.
SARAH: Right. A lot of them are, if it's a superhero or something, they probably have a tight costume anyway.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But one thing that I found interesting was that – So I found a costume for a female Storm Trooper and I found a costume for a female Bumblebee, which is one of the Transformers. It was just interesting because they were both, those are costumes that, if it's designed for a man, it's going to be a very bulky costume.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Even if the Transformer doesn't transform into an actual Transformer, which I've seen some really cool costumes that actually –
KAYLA: Yeah. I've seen it.
SARAH: You can be it. There are also some in Mean Girls, The Musical, go see it if you can. It's not that expensive.
KAYLA: They don't need your marketing.
SARAH: For Broadway, I mean, it's expensive, but for a Broadway show, it's not that bad.
KAYLA: They do not need your marketing, Sarah, they're doing fine.
SARAH: I know, but it's good.
KAYLA: They're not sponsoring us. Don't give them air time.
SARAH: Regardless. They're going to be bulkier costumes with big pieces that are attached to you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Like foam and shit.
SARAH: But then I was looking at the female versions, the female Storm Trooper, it didn't really cover the whole body. I mean you were supposed to wear, it was black underneath and then there was the white part of the Storm Trooper outfit.
But the white part didn't really cover the whole body because it was basically designed to not hide the curves of a woman, which meant that in its design, they couldn't have it be all the way down because different women are shaped differently.
KAYLA: Wow. A novel I idea.
SARAH: I know. But basically, they wanted to make it as tight to the body – Even though it was kind of bulky, they made it as tight to the body as they could. It's like, this is as a Storm Trooper costume, they should all be the same.
KAYLA: That is what is so frustrating as you look at the same costumes for men and women. It's something that does not have a gender. I mean, I guess cowboys are men, but a cowboy –
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Don't you think if a woman was dressing up as cowboy, they should look the same?
SARAH: They wouldn't necessarily be wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
KAYLA: Because wouldn't they just dress as the same cowboy?
SARAH: Right. You would – Because –
KAYLA: I don't understand.
SARAH: I was actually a cowboy once because at gymnastics we were dressing up, and I was like, I'm not going trick or treating, but I do own flannel. (laughs)
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: But I just wore jeans and a flannel, and I braided my hair and I was like, I'm a cowgirl, guys.
KAYLA: That's more like a farmer to me.
SARAH: Yeah. Kind of. But if you think of a male cowboy, you're like okay, jeans, cowboy boots.
KAYLA: The vest.
SARAH: Vest, flannel, hat. But then I'm just imagining what a female –
KAYLA: Oh it'd be short shorts.
SARAH: What a cowgirl – It'd be short shorts.
KAYLA: The flannel shirt that's tied so it's just your boobs.
SARAH: Oh, that's exactly what I was thinking of. You know that TV show – (banging sounds)
KAYLA: My God.
SARAH: Kayla just spilled water all over.
KAYLA: It's okay, the rug will suck it up.
SARAH: Kayla, I swear to God.
KAYLA: It will, look at it. I'm cleaning your room for you. Cleaning –
SARAH: That is not how that works.
KAYLA: Cleaning the office.
SARAH: I'm thinking of Dukes of Hazzard, the girl, that's kind of how I imagine it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Just super short shorts.
KAYLA: Pigtails.
SARAH: Pigtails. Some sort of crop top situation that's very cropped.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Yeah. Just look up Dukes of Hazzard and you'll see exactly what we're talking about.
KAYLA: Yeah. I like how we have the same image.
SARAH: Yeah. Because it's – you know.
KAYLA: Society.
SARAH: Society. But yeah, so it should be the same thing. Realistically, the reason cowboys wear jeans is because they ride horses, and because it's very sunny out, and so they don't want to burn themselves.
KAYLA: And there's like sand and shit.
SARAH: There's sand. It doesn't make sense for you to wear super short shorts. I get that it's hot out, but there's a reason they wear long sleeves.
KAYLA: But if you look at people that do equestrian –
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: They all wear long things.
SARAH: Yeah, exactly. And there's no need, other than that it's just sexualizing.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: The same thing for the Bumblebee costume, it was just they make it skintight, and they make it “curve hugging”. For a Storm Trooper outfit, for a fucking Transformer outfit, why does it need to be feminine?
KAYLA: It just takes away the whole thing.
SARAH: It shouldn't be, it's armor. Yeah.
KAYLA: It just takes away the entire costume.
SARAH: I know. If it's something like that, that's armor – Earlier I saw a costume that it was Greek armor or whatever. The armor itself, it was whatever, not the greatest armor in the world, but it wasn't super sexualized. But the girl was wearing four-inch pumps.
I was like, what? What are you doing? Don't even get me started on boob armor. Armor that – Listen, if you're going to be wearing a breast plate and you're a woman and you have boobs, you just give it a little bit more space at the top. It's still flat. But they like to make it so that the boobs are accentuated, the boobs are built into the armor. That doesn't make sense.
Also, if they're built in like that, and if you get crushed in the chest, it will literally crush your ribs in because of the way it's designed. Boob armor's actually very dangerous.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Yeah. I have a lot of thoughts on boob armor.
KAYLA: Barmor.
SARAH: Barmor. Also don't even get me started on cultural appropriation.
KAYLA: I was telling – We were, me and Sarah, were talking about our childhood –
SARAH: Costumes.
KAYLA: Costumes earlier. I thought of one that hasn't aged well. So my dad used to travel for work to China and Singapore a lot. So he would bring us back souvenirs and stuff. I don't think, he might have brought us back the actual thing. So I guess at least they were authentic.
SARAH: They were authentic.
KAYLA: But –
SARAH: But it wasn't the right context.
KAYLA: No. This was a different time and I was a child, so don't come for me or my family. But we wore, our Halloween costume that year was little kimonos. We did our hair up in little buns and stuck, also authentic, chopsticks in our hair.
SARAH: You see a lot of people that are I'm like, I'm wearing a sombrero and a mustache, and this is my costume. And I'm like, what?
KAYLA: Yeah. So that, just thinking back to that at the time, I was like, this is fun.
SARAH: Native Americans, oh my.
KAYLA: That's a big one.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But it's just like, that's not a costume. You are just –
SARAH: That's someone's culture.
(40:00)
KAYLA: Being someone else.
SARAH: Yeah. Cultural appropriation is a hot topic around Halloween in the United States.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because basically you're taking what you deem to be “exotic”. You're taking this other and you're making it a spectacle. You think it's cool when you get to be that.
KAYLA: Well, yes.
SARAH: Then you treat them like shit.
KAYLA: Yeah. You treat them like shit. But when you do it, all of the sudden, it's great.
SARAH: It's fine. It's fine.
KAYLA: We recently, in my queer media class, got in a big thing about cultural appropriation because we were learning about camp.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like the act of camp.
SARAH: Like camping?
KAYLA: Being campy.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: There was an episode of Glee where Sue Sylvester was wearing a Nicki Minaj outfit, and did one of her songs. Our professor was like, sometimes camp gets a little cultural appropriation-ish and this is an example, a lot of people got mad at this and said, this was cultural appropriation.
Then a bunch of people, a couple kids in our class were like, that's not cultural appropriation, blah, blah, blah. And they were, whatever. There was this whole thing about whether that was a cultural appropriation or not. The kid that was most loud about it, who was just a very – One of those people in class that’s just all the time talking. He wasn't even white. So I was like, this is not what I was expecting from you.
SARAH: Occasionally I'll see a post on the internet where it's like – I don't know who's right. I just don't know who's right. One person saying this is cultural appropriation, one person saying it isn't, and I don't know who's right.
KAYLA: That was the hard thing is because it's not like the character was doing blackface. She was just wearing an outfit that Nicki Minaj would wear and singing the song. So I don't even know, but it's hard.
SARAH: Yeah. It's also, if kids of color can wear costumes, dress as characters that are white, then white people can dress as characters that are characters of color. But that doesn't mean that you can do blackface. You can wear a – I'm trying to think of a good example. You can wear Falcon, like Marvel? You can wear a Falcon costume.
KAYLA: Because this was also brought up in my class. We were talking about it, people were saying as a white person, I wouldn't be comfortable wearing a Black Panther costume.
SARAH: Black Panther's a little different because of the cultural –
KAYLA: Well, because that's – The Falcon could be a white person. The character of Falcon could be a white person, the characters in Black Panther, you could never change their race, because that's part of the story.
SARAH: Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
KAYLA: So I think that's where that problem comes in. Because a lot of times, superheroes they'll change who the person is that's a super hero. In the comics, the person will change and with that, sometimes the race changes. That's fine because –
SARAH: Usually it's made more diverse.
KAYLA: Right. Because the race isn't inherent to a character.
SARAH: Or in some situations like Captain America, Iron Man, the superhero is the name, not the person.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So different people can be Captain America, it can be passed on.
KAYLA: Yeah. But for a thing like Black Panther, they're African and that's a big part of the narrative.
SARAH: That's valid. Yeah.
KAYLA: So that's something I feel you can't just –
SARAH: I think it depends on the context of who you're dressing as, if it's a character? It would be different for me to dress up as Okoye from Black Panther.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: That would be different from me dressing up as the character of Zoe, or Zo or whatever her name is, from Firefly. Who, it's an actor of color, but the character is not defined by her race.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So it's a different situation just because of the context of the story that it's being taken from.
KAYLA: I also, sometimes, I feel like I hear the argument of well, you dressed up as a white person, you're appropriating white culture.
SARAH: You can't appropriate white culture because it's the pervasive culture.
KAYLA: Right. So the thing is, is white a culture? Yes. Is it a good culture? No.
SARAH: It's white culture, is culture.
KAYLA: Right. So white culture is what holds the power. The reason it's appropriation is because you're taking something from a culture that you don't respect, and that is on the outskirts, and that does not have any power or sway. Then you're just taking it and you're like, well now this is okay, because I'm doing it.
SARAH: Right. I think it's a wonderful thing for little, little kids to dress up as Moana or Tiana, as long as they're respecting the culture that they come from.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because it's not right to tell a kid, you can't dress up as Moana because she's not white. That's stupid, that doesn't make sense. But you do have to be aware of the culture that is the culture.
KAYLA: Well, I also think with things like Moana and Tiana, they also aren't defined by their race. They're just Disney princesses that happen to be from other places than Europe?
SARAH: Moana though?
KAYLA: I don't think she's defined by her race. I think her story –
SARAH: It's very much about her being Polynesian though.
KAYLA: I mean, it is because it talks about their religion. Or their –
SARAH: Well, that's her whole thing, is it's all about doing things for her people.
KAYLA: I guess. To me, I mean, it's also narrative around the movies when they come out. Black Panther was very much, this is a movie for Black people, and this is an all-Black cast. When Moana –
SARAH: Well, it's a movie for everyone, but –
KAYLA: Well, you know what I mean.
SARAH: With special attention.
KAYLA: Yeah. But I feel like when Moana was made, they weren't saying, here, Polynesian people, here's a movie for you.
SARAH: That's true, but I still think the culture plays a huge role in just the plot.
KAYLA: It does.
SARAH: Or if you look at Coco, or –
KAYLA: No, it does. Yeah. Maybe what it is, is because Moana is so mainstream. That's the thing, is Moana is so mainstream that white people have taken it and said, this is okay.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But with Coco, it wasn't as big in America because they didn't show it that much in America and give it that much publicity, because they didn't think it would do well.
SARAH: I mean, most of the people I know who saw it, were obsessed.
KAYLA: Oh it just didn't – If you compare it to other Disney movies, it didn't get the publicity that others did, because they didn't throw as much money at it.
SARAH: I mean, you see people dressing up as Jasmine and stuff all the time.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: It's a tricky situation.
KAYLA: I think maybe a big thing is because Disney princesses are such cultural icons, that it's okay to dress up as them, because it's not about the race. Because – I don't know. It's hard, because where do you draw the line?
SARAH: No, I don't know. I have no idea.
KAYLA: Because where do you draw the line between someone dressing up as Jasmine and that's not cultural appropriation, but then you dress up as a man in a sombrero and then it's –
SARAH: I think it has to do with the intention, but also I think it has to do with whether you're dressing up as a character, a person. Or you're dressing up as a generic member of this culture. Or how you perceive a generic member of that culture to be.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Oh good, the girl in this photo of a person wearing a Jasmine costume is blonde. So that's cool.
KAYLA: Get a wig.
SARAH: Oh look, this one, Iron Man body suit. It's just a body suit with four-inch pumps on.
KAYLA: Great, love that.
SARAH: But it's mark 42. It's important to know which version it is. No, the one – I forgot it again. Oh the one thing I wanted to say is if you are dressing up as a character, part of the problem is much deeper – Well, can we get much deeper than societal issues? But it's not just about Halloween. It's not just about costumes, but it's about the fact that female characters in general tend to be more sexualized. So their costumes and what those characters wear are going to be more sexualized, which means when you transfer that to a Halloween costume, it's going to be more sexualized. And that just sucks.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: That's all. Time for our bit.
KAYLA: Time for a fun thing.
SARAH: We have a fun thing. So we decided it would be entertaining to come up with the worst possible sexy costumes.
KAYLA: This was my idea, first of all.
SARAH: It was Kayla's idea, of just things that would be absolutely absurd as sexy costumes.
KAYLA: So can I tell my inspiration for this?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So I forget what website and what company, but I saw it in a Try Guys video, they were making fun of sexy costumes. Then this particular sexy costume was A Handmaid[en]'s Tale, a sexy woman from the Handmaid[en]'s Tale.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: So if you don't know the show, you've probably seen pictures where they wear the long red dresses and they have the white bonnets. So this was just a very short, skimpy, red dress and then the white bonnet.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: The reason, if you don't know the show, that this is so bad is that the show is all about a society where women are slaves to just birth children.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's a post-apocalyptic sort of situation. It's really a show that talks a lot about women's rights, and it's based off a book and everything like that. So when you take that and you just make it a sexy costume, it's –
SARAH: It's like sexy nuns, it's the saintly and the profane.
KAYLA: Well, it's just so –
SARAH: You mix them together and it's a turn on.
KAYLA: It's so ironic that you would take something from a show that's so pioneering of strong women, and then you're like –
SARAH: This costume wasn't meant ironically, was it?
KAYLA: I don't think so.
SARAH: Because that's the part that's, if it were meant ironically, that'd be fucking hilarious.
KAYLA: Oh, that'd be hilarious, if you did that just to be like, fuck you.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I really don't know. Eventually there was a ton of backlash on the website. They took it off, which was good. So I was just thinking if we can think of some things like that.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Sarah came pre-prepared.
SARAH: I did.
KAYLA: I did not.
SARAH: I did this last night at very late at night.
KAYLA: I was asleep.
SARAH: But also back to Mean Girls. In that song where she sings about being sexy, all of the female dancers are wearing these super sexy costumes and they're all absurd. She lists off some of them. Oh, I closed it, I closed the tab with the lyrics. I opened it again. But they're all quite funny.
If you just look and pay attention to what they're wearing, it's ridiculous. But let me just read you some as background to this little thing we're about to do. So she says you can be animal or mineral too, even vegetation. For each one, she's pointing to a different person. Animal, I believe she was pointing to the sexy shark. There was a sexy shark.
(50:00)
KAYLA: That's a good one.
SARAH: Mineral, sexy Yoda. Because as we all know, Yoda is a mineral. My favorite one vegetation, she says, I give you sexy corn. It is a girl dressed as a cob of corn, but sexy. I find that very funny. There's also a sexy Eleanor Roosevelt and a sexy Rosa Parks.
KAYLA: Rosa Parks, which I feel along the lines of Handmaid[en]'s Tale, that's just funny.
SARAH: Yeah. Done ironically.
KAYLA: Ooh. I just thought. Okay, can I tell you one? Because now that I'm thinking of them, I don't have a list. I just thought of one. So before I forget it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: To kick us off, a sexy tampon.
SARAH: Oh wow. Also just highlights the problems with society.
KAYLA: I know, but isn't that why that's so perfect?
SARAH: Oh yeah.
KAYLA: Well I'm pleased with that one. That was good.
SARAH: Yeah. So my list starts out with sexy corn, sexy Yoda, in parentheses, mineral. For some reason, the first thing that came to my stupid brain.
KAYLA: Yeah. Your brain's pretty stupid.
SARAH: (laughs) This is so dumb. Kayla, sexy MRI machine. How would it even work?
KAYLA: That's not good, Sarah.
SARAH: I don't know. I know.
KAYLA: That's not funny.
SARAH: I know. That's why I am so mad at myself.
KAYLA: That's not good. Next.
SARAH: Next one is okay. Sexy ghost. How would you be a sexy ghost?
KAYLA: I'm sure that exists. I am positive that exists.
SARAH: Sexy Jafar from Aladdin.
KAYLA: That would not be hard.
SARAH: Yeah. It'd be funny.
KAYLA: I guess. I don't know. He kind of dresses sexy anyway.
SARAH: (laughs) A sexy boy. Sexy Umbridge.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: From Harry Potter.
KAYLA: Sexy Voldemort would be prime, too.
SARAH: I felt like sexy Voldemort was too mainstream.
KAYLA: I'm sure someone has done it.
SARAH: I've seen a video or gifs of a video recently of someone doing – It was the style of dancing of –
KAYLA: Vogue.
SARAH: Drag queen. Voguey, drag queen, lip sync for your life, that sort of deal.
KAYLA: It's vogueing.
SARAH: Voldemort wearing heels. So I was like, too mainstream, can't do that.
KAYLA: You know what's funny? Is we were just talking about vogueing was started by Black gay men, but then it moved into white gay men culture and now it's okay. Anyway.
SARAH: Madonna, Vogue.
KAYLA: She took it. She took it from them. Anyway.
SARAH: This one, I'm sure it's been done. Sexy Minion from Despicable Me.
KAYLA: Oh God. I'm sure it has. Actually, I feel I've seen it.
SARAH: I'm sure. I'm sure.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Sexy Grinch Who Stole Christmas? It's all about – I just, I keep thinking of that gif from the most recent live action one, where he's looking at his butt trying to decide what to wear.
KAYLA: They're coming out with a new animated one, as if you could top the original.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: All right. Give me some.
KAYLA: Okay. Sexy Pope Francis.
SARAH: Oh wow.
KAYLA: Sexy, what's her name? Angela Merkel.
SARAH: Angela Merkel. Oh, my queen.
KAYLA: That would be a good one.
SARAH: I don't think her party would like that very much.
KAYLA: Sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg. (laughs)
SARAH: Angela Merkel's party is literally called the Christian Democratic Union.
KAYLA: I'm sure.
SARAH: You would love it.
KAYLA: But that's why it's funny.
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: Oh, controversy. Sexy Jesus on the Cross. (laughs)
SARAH: Sacrilegious.
KAYLA: It's the profane.
SARAH: All right. I've got a good one next.
KAYLA: All right. Wow, these all just, aren't those great ones that came off the top of my head?
SARAH: Yeah. They just come to you. All of mine, I just wrote off the top of my head. I didn't really think much.
KAYLA: It was great.
SARAH: To get back for the slave Leia, sexy Jabba the Hutt.
KAYLA: (gags) Sounds like vomit.
SARAH: If you don't know what Jabba the Hutt looks like –
KAYLA: Not sexy.
SARAH: Look it up. Imagine sexy –
KAYLA: He looks like a turd. He actually looks like a pile of poop.
SARAH: Yeah. He's just a large –
KAYLA: Sexy toilet bowl brush.
SARAH: Big mood. Sexy clown, I'm sure has been done.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm sure.
SARAH: Sexy George Washington.
KAYLA: I'm sure it's been done.
SARAH: I was trying to think of which founding father would be funniest. Benjamin Franklin. Sexy Benjamin Franklin
KAYLA: Ew, he was a pervert though. He had a lot of sex.
SARAH: He really did.
KAYLA: Sexy whichever it was, the guy that died in the bathtub.
SARAH: Taft.
KAYLA: Yeah. Sexy Taft.
SARAH: Big mood. But also, the sad thing about that is that it's funny because this is a political figure, they're supposed to be not sexy. But also, it's funny because oh, he was fat and fat people can't be sexy.
KAYLA: I know. I'm sorry for saying that. That was pretty shitty of me.
SARAH: I mean, but that's –
KAYLA: It's conditioned.
SARAH: It's conditioned. That's why some of these things, I'm trying to think of why is it funny? Is it funny because it's absurd? Or is it funny because I have social biases that have been conditioned into me?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You know? Sexy Gandhi.
KAYLA: (laughs) Oh my God. Yeah. Sexy Mother Teresa. No, I've seen someone do that. That was on Modern Family. She dressed up as sexy Mother Teresa.
SARAH: Sexy Where's Waldo?
KAYLA: Gandhi, oh, my God. Sexy Martin Luther King Jr.
SARAH: Sexy crash test dummy.
KAYLA: (laughs) That's funny. That's really funny.
SARAH: Also, mannequins, weirdly sexual.
KAYLA: Their boobs are so pointy.
SARAH: I know. Why are they so like that?
KAYLA: Sexy Tardis.
SARAH: I think I've seen that.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably.
SARAH: I've seen people dress up as the Tardis before. Sexy Edna Mode from The Incredibles.
KAYLA: No, I love that. I love that.
SARAH: See, on the website, there was an Edna Mode costume, but it was not a sexy costume.
KAYLA: Good. That's so –
SARAH: It was just an Edna Mode costume.
KAYLA: That's so funny.
SARAH: I wrote sexy Transformer, but I literally was just talking about the Bumblebee costume.
KAYLA: You did.
SARAH: Sexy Jedi. That one's funny because the Jedi are –
KAYLA: Reserved.
SARAH: We are so reserved. Imagine just –
KAYLA: I'm sure that exists though. I can picture it in my head.
SARAH: Yeah. Just imagine, you know how Obi-Wan Kenobi likes to dramatically take off his cloak?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: They all like to dramatically take off their cloak.
KAYLA: Well, they do everything dramatically.
SARAH: Especially Obi-Wan. Imagine a person taking off their cloak –
KAYLA: And it's just nothing.
SARAH: And wearing some sort of strange bikini.
KAYLA: Like a bra.
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: I hate that.
SARAH: You're like, I have my light saber, I'm ready to battle.
KAYLA: I'm trying to think of what is the most obscure sport you could dress up as sexy. I'm thinking of –
SARAH: I feel a lot of sports are kind of hard to do that. Just because of what you wear naturally for it is what you wear to allow for movement of the body, which often is tighter style.
KAYLA: I'm thinking of sexy shot put. Because I can just imagine someone wearing a bikini and then a very large, weighted –
SARAH: Like they are the shot put?
KAYLA: No, they're walking around –
SARAH: They're just carrying it around with them.
KAYLA: In a bikini and they just also have a rock.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Good. Sexy Dumbledore. I'm sure it's been done.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably.
SARAH: Sexy Snoopy.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I dressed up as unsexy Snoopy.
KAYLA: I don't like that.
SARAH: Snoopy's a dog by the way. Sexy Charlie Brown.
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: I know, right?
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: But also –
KAYLA: Sexy – Oh, shit. What cartoon am I thinking of? Sexy Phineas and Ferb.
SARAH: Oh my God. Sexy Perry the Platypus.
KAYLA: Sexy CatDog.
SARAH: Ooh. Sexy Dog with a Blog.
KAYLA: (laughs) No. Sexy Good Luck Charlie.
SARAH: I was about to say sexy Hannah Montana, but we already got that, that’s Miley Cyrus.
KAYLA: It's Miley.
SARAH: It's Wrecking Ball.
KAYLA: It's Miley Cyrus. It's Wrecking Ball.
SARAH: Sexy tortoise, just the animal.
KAYLA: No. No.
BOTH: (laugh)
KAYLA: Sexy sloth.
SARAH: Sexy Waluigi.
KAYLA: Ew. Absolutely. Sexy Bowser.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Sexy Lego. Just a Lego.
KAYLA: Not a person, but –
SARAH: Like just a block.
KAYLA: A brick.
SARAH: A brick. Yeah.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Sexy Mr. Potato Head.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Sexy Mrs. Potato Head.
KAYLA: That's just Mrs. Potato head is the sexy version of –
SARAH: They just gave her bigger lips and eyelashes.
KAYLA: They just gave her some eyeshadow. That's true.
SARAH: That's the end of my list. Do you have anything else?
KAYLA: Oh man. Let me think.
SARAH: Some of them were better than others.
KAYLA: I feel like I had some good ones. Let me think.
SARAH: Sexy candle.
KAYLA: No, you just looked at a candle. I keep thinking sexy light bulb for no reason.
SARAH: (laughs) They're already so curvy, Kayla.
KAYLA: Sexy. What's something else that's not sexy?
SARAH: I give you sexy corn. I can –
KAYLA: Sexy groutfit.
SARAH: Sexy groutfit. Inherently sexy, what are you talking about?
KAYLA: So love, love it.
SARAH: Sexy – You know that gravel that they use to fill potholes when they don't want to actually fix it?
KAYLA: I do know that.
SARAH: Sexy pothole gravel.
KAYLA: How?
SARAH: That's really niche.
KAYLA: Tell me how –
SARAH: If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm sorry.
KAYLA: Tell me how you would dress up, walk me through that costume.
(1:00:00)
SARAH: (laughs) I don't know.
KAYLA: Nope. You said it. Walk me through it.
SARAH: The fun part is that –
KAYLA: That's going to be so loud.
SARAH: I know. I'm sorry. I just bumped the table. The fun part is that the wearer of the costume really gets to interpret it as they want, and I'm not wearing the costume, so –
KAYLA: Sexy Golden Gate Bridge.
SARAH: Sexy blob fish.
KAYLA: Sexy angler fish.
SARAH: Angler fish. A decorative hat feather.
KAYLA: Cashmere shawl.
SARAH: With a cashmere shawl. If you haven't seen that video, look up –
KAYLA: You're wrong.
SARAH: Look up true facts about the angler fish and you'd hit it, it's great.
KAYLA: Sexy the entire country of Russia.
SARAH: I was looking at my –
KAYLA: Not shaped very sexy. Look at it.
SARAH: It's got a lot of weird arms.
KAYLA: It does.
SARAH: But hey, you can be sexy and have weird arms.
KAYLA: Which is, by shape, which is the sexiest country?
SARAH: Finland.
KAYLA: I think. Oh, it does look a penis.
SARAH: Or –
KAYLA: I think Brazil.
SARAH: Argentina.
KAYLA: Why is Argentina shaped sexy?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: I think Brazil looks sexy.
SARAH: Now we're just looking at my map.
KAYLA: Look at it.
SARAH: Are there any inland countries that just have fun borders?
KAYLA: What do you mean fun borders?
SARAH: Just sexy borders. (laughs)
KAYLA: What makes a border sexy?
SARAH: Sexy border. Don't know how you do that.
KAYLA: Are you going to dress up as a sexy border? Oh, no, a sexy border patrol officer.
SARAH: I thought of that and I didn't say it.
KAYLA: A sexy immigration officer.
SARAH: I said that. I thought of that, and then I didn't say it, Kayla.
KAYLA: You have better taste than me.
SARAH: Madagascar.
KAYLA: You think Madagascar is sexy? It literally looks a little poo. Look at it.
SARAH: Antarctica.
KAYLA: It looks like you just pooed it out.
SARAH: All of the weird islands in the north of Canada.
KAYLA: Those are not sexy. They look like dirt.
SARAH: I'm sorry that we have different tastes, Kayla. Okay. We're out. We're out of time.
KAYLA: Oh, man.
SARAH: We're way over.
KAYLA: Oh, man.
SARAH: Poll of the week. What is the best sexy costume? Sexy – Okay, we've convened. Poll of the week. Which is the most absurd, best, sexy costume?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Sexy Jabba the Hutt. Sexy Gandhi. Sexy tampon. Is it a used tampon?
KAYLA: User interpretation.
SARAH: Cool. Sexy Waluigi.
KAYLA: It should be used.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Sexy used tampon.
SARAH: That's what I was envisioning.
KAYLA: Oh God.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: There is it.
SARAH: That's our poll. Kayla, what's your beef of the week?
KAYLA: You go first.
SARAH: My beef of the week is the fact that our lovely administration and the government is trying to really just take away rights from trans folks.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: By basically saying that – They're trying to make a stricter definition of gender than the definition that was created under the Obama administration. It's very transphobic. It's very bad. Caitlyn Jenner was like, support trans people. What the hell? People were like, Caitlyn Jenner, you fucking supported Trump, you idiot.
KAYLA: Caitlyn Jenner is the worst trans person.
SARAH: Not because she's trans.
KAYLA: No, she's bad at being trans.
SARAH: Oh, that's true.
KAYLA: She's –
SARAH: Not be – Okay, to clarify.
KAYLA: She's not bad because she's trans.
SARAH: There is no bad way to be trans. It's not about the way she conveys her trans-ness. It's about the way that she acts in terms of moving forward the rights, and looking for the wellbeing, of herself and other trans folks.
KAYLA: I say –
SARAH: Just because she's rich, doesn't mean she can just forget.
KAYLA: I say she's a bad trans person, as I would say, a bad gay person is someone that voted for Trump.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You're just not looking out for people, man.
SARAH: Right. Again, to clarify, there's no right or wrong way to be trans.
KAYLA: She's doing fine being trans.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: She's just a bad person.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You know what I heard? Okay.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Recently I heard an interesting thing that Caitlyn, before she transitioned, when she was still going by Bruce, people were like, nah, he sucks, but whatever. But now that Caitlyn is seen as a woman, people are like, that bitch.
It’s interesting because when she was presenting as a man, people were like, nah, he sucks, but whatever. But now that she's a woman –
SARAH: They care.
KAYLA: It's like, well, women suck. Isn't that interesting?
SARAH: That is really interesting.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean I have a lot of beef with the current government. If you're American and you're registered to vote, or if you still have the ability to register to vote –
KAYLA: Do it.
SARAH: Please vote in midterms.
KAYLA: Why this is the end of all of our episodes now?
SARAH: Because it matters. Next week's episode is going to be about elections.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Not about American elections, but –
KAYLA: Just –
SARAH: Sneak peak.
KAYLA: Anyway. Just going to be us being angry.
SARAH: Queer issues and elections. But please, please, please, please, please, please vote. So that this kind of shit that is transphobic and just all around bad for people, and bad for the queer community, doesn't continue to be in power. What's your beef of the week?
KAYLA: My headache right now.
SARAH: Hmm.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You can find our poll, or tell us about your own beef of the week, on our Twitter @soundsfakepod, you can also email us at soundsfakepod@gmail.com. Tumblr, soundsfakepod.tumblr.com.
We are still looking for – If you have questions that could, are – woah.
KAYLA: Basically in the near future we’re going to do an advice episode. If you want advice, email us –
SARAH: If you want advice –
KAYLA: Tweet us, #asksoundsfake.
SARAH: Yep, #asksoundsfake and we might/probably will answer your question, because we’re not that famous that we get 6 billion.
KAYLA: I don’t know man, one day.
SARAH: Someday. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to give us your money so that we can get lots of tweet replies? That devolved in my head, didn’t make sense.
KAYLA: It helps us.
SARAH: $2 patrons, Sara Jones and Keith McBlaine. $5 patrons Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney and Perry Fiero.
And our $10 patron Emma Fink, you can find her on YouTube by looking up Emma T Fink.
Thanks for listening, please vote in the midterms. Vote next Sunday – (laughs) Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears, and you know what? Wear whatever the fuck you want for Halloween. Or don’t.
KAYLA: Wear nothing, be a nudist. Sexy nudist.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: Okay, that’s interesting because nudism is not an inherently sexy thing –
KAYLA: We’ve never digressed in the middle of our outro.
SARAH: We haven’t.
KAYLA: That’s interesting, nudists aren’t seen as sexy, they’re seen as gross.
SARAH: They’re just seen as weird. I don’t know.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: Consent, because they consent to being nude.
KAYLA: And so it’s weird?
SARAH: No, but they consent to being nude, which is like oh, that’s less fun.
KAYLA: It’s more fun when you just see someone nude?
SARAH: (hesitating) Not really –
KAYLA: I don’t get it.
SARAH: I didn’t explain it well.
KAYLA: Until then, take good care of your sexy cows.
SARAH: I give you sexy cow.