Ep 83: Personal Growth and the Future
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SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: We talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, being an adult.
SARAH: But live.
KAYLA: Sounds Fake But Okay
SARAH: Sounds Fake But Okay. Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Oh, Oh, okay, okay.
SARAH: Oh Jesus
KAYLA: And this is a visual one, so you're going to have to go watch the video. Ready? M’acarena?
SARAH: So for those of you listening who are like, what the fuck is going on, this is the episode that we've live-streamed, so if you want to watch our faces, I'm currently eating a clementine, if you want to see that.
KAYLA: I have a big juice. There's lots of good good memes already.
SARAH: There are some good good memes already, and we were talking a while before the pod started, so if you want to...
KAYLA: Exclusive content.
SARAH: Exclusive content, hit up our YouTube.
KAYLA: Yeah. And you'll get the visual version of what I just did, which was...
SARAH: Yeah, which was horrible.
KAYLA: I've had that planned for a long time.
SARAH: She told me about it a while ago and I just...
KAYLA: I almost forgot and then I didn't, and... Anyway.
SARAH: Oh no, you can't drink that as I put clementine in my mouth. One of us has to talk, this is a podcast. No.
KAYLA: An audio medium.
SARAH: This is a very professional podcast.
KAYLA: Yes, give us your monies.
SARAH: Okay. What are we talking about this week, Kayla?
KAYLA: Well, this week we wanted to do a special episode. This episode is probably going to be pretty long with the distractions, and we have like... It's three topics in one.
SARAH: It's like two and a half topics.
KAYLA: Yeah. This week we are talking about basically like personal growth over the past four years of college.
SARAH: It was requested.
KAYLA: It was? Oh shoot, by a patron.
SARAH: By a patron.
KAYLA: And we... yes. Because if you do... if it's $15, if you're a $15 patron you get to request an episode and we have to do it.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: As long as it's not like yucky.
SARAH: Nathaniel.
KAYLA: So yeah, Nathaniel requested we did one on like personal growth, but once he requested it we were like, we don't think we've grown enough since the last time. Well, because we had kind of talked about that.
SARAH: Yeah, a little bit.
KAYLA: So we didn't think we had grown enough to have enough to say. So then we were like, oh, we will like lump it in with like graduation and our future plans. I'm sorry, a friend of ours who listens to the podcast who lives near us said he was about to drive past our house on the way to get some food and he hopes the live pod is going well.
SARAH: Thanks, Zeke.
KAYLA: Thanks, Zeke. Jesus.
SARAH: I mean, we'll probably see his car, there's traffic out front.
KAYLA: If he honks, I'm going to kill him. I kind of hope he does though. Anyway, so yeah, we're going to basically talk about like our futures post-college, personal growth in the past four years.
SARAH: I'm just being like an ace person in the real world. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. So. We actually planned some stuff out for this one.
SARAH: Yeah, because it's live and we were like, we're not going to wing it.
KAYLA: I mean, as if we look so good right now. But, yeah.
SARAH: Cool. Alright, so let's do a little dive in. We started this pod in July of 2017.
KAYLA: It was a long time ago
SARAH: It is currently May of 2019.
KAYLA: So it has almost been two years.
SARAH: It has almost been two years.
KAYLA: Oh man, when did we say we think we're going to hit 100 episodes? It's going to be like September or November. Dang it.
SARAH: It's like September. Yeah.
KAYLA: It would be cool if we hit like 100 episodes within two years or something.
SARAH: Yeah but…
KAYLA: Alas.
SARAH: Alas. We skipped too many weeks.
KAYLA: You know that…
SARAH: We skipped too many weeks.
KAYLA: It's an audio medium. Sarah, they're going to hear you eating clementines. Whatcha going to do?
SARAH: Listen, I felt sick earlier so I took a nap.
KAYLA: She did.
SARAH: It was like not good. I don't know what happened then. I was going to eat this clementine earlier but I was sleeping so.
KAYLA: A tragedy.
SARAH: Alright, so personal growth within the pod.
KAYLA: Yes. We are a lot better. I'm not saying we're good at podcasting.
SARAH: We never stay on topic, alright?
KAYLA: No. Yeah, we just are like a lot better at podcasting. I suggested to Sarah while we were planning this episode that we listen to our first episode or snippets from the first couple.
SARAH: Food ASMR. But we're going to do that for 100.
KAYLA: Yeah, we're planning to have a couple episodes come out around leading up to the 100th episode that are kind of fun. And that I think is going to be one of them.
SARAH: Yeah. I don't want to do it, but it will be…
KAYLA: But it will be good
SARAH: Good entertainment.
KAYLA: There's a lot of things you don't want to do that are good entertainment.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: So yeah, I think we're just a lot better at podcasting.
SARAH: We're better at podding. What else? Most of these are yours.
KAYLA: Yeah, well, okay, one thing that it kind of bridges into personal growth outside of the podcast too which we're going to do next, is not caring enough, or not caring as much about what people think of me. I'm a very sensitive person and pretty insecure, getting better. And so I never realized when I was making a podcast that like that was a big deal for me. I was like, yeah, it's a podcast. Because we started it for fun. We never expected that many people to listen.
SARAH: You didn't know that before you started this podcast?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: That you care too much about what people think of you?
KAYLA: I didn't know that until…
SARAH: I knew that.
KAYLA: I didn't know that until this year how bad it was.
SARAH: Oh God. I knew that.
KAYLA: Well, we're going to get into it later. Thanks for telling me.
SARAH: You're welcome.
KAYLA: But I didn't realize that until we were really deep into this. And I go to therapy like twice a week now. But I was talking to my therapist about it, and she was like, that's like a big deal that you do this. And I was like, yeah. But I think we haven't had too many instances of people being rude or saying things.
SARAH: Rarely
KAYLA: It has happened a couple times.
SARAH: It has mostly just been people, like when people have been kind of rude, it's more so just been like they had a very emotional reaction to something that happened.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And it's not usually like, I hate you, you're the worst person ever.
KAYLA: No. It's usually like topic-based. Like the worst one was about our episode about like ace people being part of the queer community and someone vehemently disagreed. And was kind of nasty about it. But we do like, the tea that I have is basically like we get a lot that we get off topic a ton and like we've gotten that from the beginning.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Which we know.
SARAH: But we've decided that that's our brand.
KAYLA: Like yeah. And like a lot of the podcasts that I listen to, that's how they are and I like it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because it kind of feels like you're like sitting with your friends or whatever.
SARAH: And you are sitting with your friends right now.
KAYLA: I'm sitting with my friends. Yikes. But like recently I had some people I know in real life that felt a great need to tell me that they listened to my podcast and thought we got off topic too much.
SARAH: We do.
KAYLA: We do. But it was just very interesting because they felt this need that they needed to give me this criticism. And it ended up getting to me indirectly because they were swayed away from telling it to my face.
SARAH: They were like, chickening out.
KAYLA: Yeah, they chickened out, I guess, from telling me to my face. But I was very proud of myself and so was my therapist of how I handled it of kind of being like, okay, well, you can think that and that's fine, but this is how we like to do it and it's fine. And we like it this way, other people seem happy with it.
SARAH: Some people don't like it, but you're never going to please everyone.
KAYLA: No. And it was also a bunch of straight people saying it. And so my boyfriend was getting really mad because he was like, this is just a bunch of straight people getting in the way of things that aren't for them. He literally told them, he was like, well, you guys aren't the audience, so stop it. But anyway.
SARAH: I mean, I know everyone is not going to like it, but.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Listen, I have ADHD, what do you expect?
KAYLA: Yeah, truly, like there's nothing we can do about it. But anyway, I think we've grown in handling that kind of stuff a lot better too.
SARAH: Yeah. And like not taking it personally when people kind of come at us. Which is good.
KAYLA: And I'm sure if we get bigger that'll continue to be a struggle and it won't be hard.
SARAH: Your highlight looks really nice.
KAYLA: Thank you, it's because I'm also kind of sweaty.
SARAH: You can't really see mine very well. This side you kind of can. Anyway.
KAYLA: I'm kind of sweaty. This has been your highlight break.
SARAH: Also, you're not straight, which you thought you were at the beginning of this podcast.
KAYLA: I'm not straight. I guess I didn't realize how early on in the podcast that came around. I think I was reading one of the transcriptions someone had done and I was like, oh, already I was questioning it. So it happened earlier on than I remember. But yeah, I'm not straight. I mean I am, but I'm not. It's confusing. Still working on that one. Still it working on it.
SARAH: But I mean that's a fun thing to discover via podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's fun. I don't know. I think it's interesting because I've never been one that's really good at journaling or keeping a diary, which I wish I did. But it's interesting because we at least have this. Like if we're much older, we could listen to this and a lot of our lives have been lived through this and different portions of our lives and stuff.
SARAH: You know the reason you're so warm is because you're wearing a sweater.
KAYLA: It's like really thin.
SARAH: Okay. Well since you kind of already started talking about your growth outside the pod, hit me with it.
KAYLA: Outside the pod. Well, I mean I think you always think that you grow a lot in the recent years, but I really do feel like a lot of my growth has come in the last year.
SARAH: Also, we're in college and that's a time of great growth for a lot of people, so.
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KAYLA: Yeah. But especially in the last year, I go to therapy twice a week now, which is a big commitment to that and just to myself. And that has been super helpful in just understanding myself. Like I said, I didn't realize how insecure I was and how much I cared about what other people thought about me until I really got into therapy and I got a therapist that was really working for me. So I think I just understand myself a lot better. I don't know, and I still do this to some extent, but I was kind of not allowing myself to think about myself and wanting to work out my really deep internal issues. So I was kind of always facing outward and was distracting myself from all of my really internal problems. And so now I feel like I understand what's going on better. And like one of the things I wrote down is I'm comfortable being by myself now. I didn't used to be okay being in a room by myself for very long because my head would just start spinning. And I'm a lot more comfortable.
SARAH: Even though you're an introvert.
KAYLA: Right, which was also really taxing to be an introvert but then also feel the need to be around people was just like a lot. Through therapy too, this is a really recent development, but I've become more like spiritual I guess which is not everyone's cup of tea and I'm not like I'm not asking anyone to believe in anything but like meditation and kind of like more spiritual like moon and crystal things like again I know it's not for everyone and I also don't want to hear your criticism about it. I get that enough from people I know in real life but like it has just really helped me personally be like more aware of myself and just be like more at peace with myself.
SARAH: Noice.
KAYLA: Indeed.
SARAH: The moon is a lesbian.
KAYLA: She's a lesbian and she's also full. Well yesterday if you're listening to this not live, it's not Saturday. A thing that came with that too really this year is like being more secure in my friendships like because I cared so much about what other people thought of me and I like the thing was I always thought people like really hated me and it became… it was especially prominent in my closest friends like the people I most thought hated me were my closest friends and so I was like latching on really hard and always being like I need to know that like they like me and I need to do this and I was putting in like way too much like it sounds weird to say you're putting in too much effort to someone's to a friendship because like you should… you know I guess you should always think that you should put a lot of effort into friendships.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I was like putting too much effort into friendships that was like unhealthy.
SARAH: Well like you were putting effort into friendships like kind of in the wrong places.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like because you were just concerned about how like your friends viewed you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Rather than putting effort into like improving like the relationship sort of.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah. Um and there was also just like certain friendships that I was like putting a lot of effort into and I knew it wasn't being reciprocated and I was like that's not healthy for me.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Um and I have become a lot more secure in like you know if this person doesn't want to reciprocate or like this isn't going to be a good friendship for me it's not what I need anymore then like that's okay and like it sucks to like not be as close to certain people but like it's how you know… That's how it is.
SARAH: If you weren't getting enough out of a relationship then you weren't getting enough out of a relationship. Don't kill yourself trying to.
KAYLA: Yeah. And it like really was killing me at one point. Like.
SARAH: She almost died.
KAYLA: I almost died.
SARAH: I wouldn't be here today.
KAYLA: But like therapy was like really good for that.
SARAH: Hi Austin. Also hi Perry.
KAYLA: Perry is here? My dad.
SARAH: They both just arrived recently.
KAYLA: Hi Harold. Um yeah. Did I learn anything else? Directed a nice musical.
SARAH: Directed a nice musical.
KAYLA: That was good for like I don't know that was more like skills-based learning and like I think is going to help me once I like start working and stuff because... I don't know. Whenever I talked about that in the interviews people were like, oh no. And I was like oh okay. My cast has a big deal.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And the other one is just like really like romantic relationships I guess. Like…
SARAH: Everyone is like fangirling over Perry. Sorry
KAYLA: You should fangirl over Perry. I'm obsessed with Perry. He made me chili the other day and it was bomb and I ate it yesterday. I'm going to eat it tonight. Thanks Perry. From TV.
SARAH: From TV?
KAYLA: Yeah, I think the podcast has seen me through like three relationships now. Which is interesting for you guys I guess.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I've also learned a lot I guess in that area. Which you do as you move through different romantic relationships. You just like learn what you want more and you know all that kind of stuff. But…
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. How long does Chili last? I don't know, I have it in the fridge.
SARAH: Alright, well.
KAYLA: Perry was on the episode about gaming. I don't remember the number. Yes, it was fairly recent.
SARAH: Yeah, that was Perry.
KAYLA: Nice. He's also piano-fiano.
SARAH: Piano-fiano. Perry-Ferry. Emotionally, a lifetime. Alice.
KAYLA: For Chili?
SARAH: And Chili lasts a lifetime emotionally. It's important to know.
KAYLA: I like truly don't understand what that means.
SARAH: I love it.
KAYLA: I have no concept of what that means.
SARAH: I love it.
KAYLA: Physically, I say
SARAH: The memes.
KAYLA: I love a good man.
SARAH: I have grown also. You know, this feels a lot more high stakes on the live stream.
KAYLA: I told you.
SARAH: Rather than when I'm just saying it to you.
KAYLA: It's a lot.
SARAH: I'm already bad enough at just saying it to you.
KAYLA: Yeah. I won't look. I won't look.
SARAH: Help me. Okay, bye. I mean, we kind of discussed before, spiritually… Forever.
KAYLA: Forever.
SARAH: We kind of discussed before in previous episodes about my directing, how I grew a lot from that, and how I basically realized a lot of my shortcomings as a person. And how I was trying to handle that. You have mascara on your nose. Okay. I don't think it was mascara. I think it was just fuzz. But that… we basically spent a whole episode talking about that, so I'm not going to delve into it too much. Also, I've gotten so much better at receiving criticism in the past couple of years, mostly from my screenwriting classes. Because here's the thing.
KAYLA: You got it.
SARAH: I was… I have always considered myself to be a good writer. And, in high school, everyone was just like, you're a good writer. And I would… Oh Kayla is trying to adjust her sitting position.
KAYLA: I'm trying to be quiet for the mics.
SARAH: Everyone was like, oh, you're a good writer. Like I would get good grades on my writing things. And then I got to college.
KAYLA: College is different.
SARAH: And I started doing screenwriting, which was something that I hadn't really done before. And it'll, you know, my professors were a lot more savage than...
KAYLA: Because they have to be.
SARAH: Because they have to be. And I basically just took it as like...
KAYLA: What is happening? Big juice.
SARAH: Big juice. And it was difficult at first. I would literally, I mean I still do this where I have to be emotionally prepared to look at the notes on my writing. But, like the realization that it's all about creating a better final product and it's not about you, basically. So, I'm much better at taking criticism just generally now. Sarah, that's a big mood killer. That's a big juice.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Oh my god, dogs.
KAYLA: Dog us, huh?
SARAH: Just two dogs.
KAYLA: We don't usually face a window. This is fun.
SARAH: Yeah. Also, I tried a mango. I grew in that sense.
KAYLA: Did you like it? I don't remember feeling it actually
SARAH: I liked it better than pineapple.
KAYLA: That's... Okay.
SARAH: That's my math trick. Also, like mental health, I also saw a therapist for a while.
KAYLA: Do you not see them anymore?
SARAH: I don't see her consistently anymore. But, like if I need to, I can just say, hello. Well, I email her, but you know. Not everything is about you, Sarah. Okay, Carrie.
KAYLA: I don't know, what is that reference? What is he saying that to?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: A fair point.
SARAH: Okay. Harold.
KAYLA: Maybe it was criticism that you just weren't emotionally prepared for.
SARAH: I wasn't. I bet that's it.
KAYLA: The texture was too close to melon.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Yeah, you've never had a melon, have you?
SARAH: Uh-uh.
KAYLA: Yeah, they’re alright.
SARAH: I'm trying to decide if I should say the thing that I put in gray.
KAYLA: Well, now you have to say it.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: For at least the livestream. No, see, I say that, but like... This is also weird because usually when we record, if we say things to each other or we say things and then we…
SARAH: We can take them out
KAYLA: We'll say, never mind, edit that out.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Now we can't do that. It's very stressful.
SARAH: And we'll just like talk very quietly for a while.
KAYLA: It's very stressful because now...
SARAH: It's on the record.
KAYLA: I can't…
SARAH: Okay, but also I learned that I shouldn't go a long time without taking the meds that make me anxious and then take them because I will go crazy, walk several miles, and come up with a hundred things for a pod topic.
KAYLA: To be fair, some of our best pod topics come from you being bananas.
SARAH: Out of me being anxious from my medication?
KAYLA: Strawberries are good. I don't think Sarah likes them.
SARAH: I don't. They, um, they just... The texture, I can't. I can't. I actually ate a strawberry just the other day. A little bit of one and I couldn't do it. Also, they don't smell like anything, okay?
KAYLA: They do.
[00:20:00.00]
SARAH: They barely. People listening are going to be like, what is happening?
KAYLA: We can cut that kind of stuff out.
SARAH: You're right.
KAYLA: Um, that's all up to you though, so it sucks to be you.
SARAH: It’s my job. Also, you know how else I've grown? I like got more outgoing.
KAYLA: You did. Yeah.
SARAH: I've always been an outgoing person inside of a shy person. You know?
KAYLA: Hmm.
SARAH: Like, if I'm not comfortable in a situation, I'm very shy. But like, once I get comfortable in a situation, I'm bananas.
KAYLA: She is bananas.
SARAH: So, I feel like I find myself being more comfortable in more situations faster.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: I mean, still not all of them, but yeah. Also, this poetic, I'm a writer, are you ready? It says, I am, and there are six commas, and then it says, and this sounds dumb, and then there are six more commas. But okay, here's the thing. Oh, connection is unstable.
KAYLA: I'm unstable.
SARAH: Kayla, it wasn't funny the first time, or the second time.
KAYLA: They, okay, so you think that, but they also think that things I say are funny when you don't, so maybe they think it's funny.
SARAH: Okay, well anyway, I used to be like scared of like everything, not everything, but like, there are, Kayla, stop balancing your big juice. I would just be very scared of like putting myself into situations where I knew I would feel uncomfortable, um, and I'm much better at that now. What is happening?
KAYLA: I just flipped off, Perry.
SARAH: Oh, okay.
KAYLA: He said it wasn't funny, he's wrong.
SARAH: Thank you, Perry.
KAYLA: I'm going to throw up your chili.
SARAH: Uh, but yeah, apparently I am just more, I'm better, I guess. Apparently that happens in adulthood, I don't know.
KAYLA: Probably, I mean, yeah, probably.
SARAH: I'm a braver bitch than before.
KAYLA: Big juice energy.
SARAH: Okay. Also, Todd growth, which we explained before the pod started, but for those of you listening, Todd is still growing.
KAYLA: And he is very dirty.
SARAH: He has been on the ground
KAYLA: He's very dusty, he has a lot of hair all over him, it's bad.
SARAH: He won't stop growing.
KAYLA: If you want to see that, he's in front of us on the livestream right now.
SARAH: Along with William.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And you'll get to know William if you watch the livestream.
KAYLA: And the cows are here.
SARAH: And Georgie and Herbert. So, very exciting. Okay. Now we're going to move on.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Someone has bothered that you were drinking directly out of the bottle.
KAYLA: I'm sorry. I wouldn't usually if I was like sharing the juice with someone, but it's my juice.
SARAH: No one else is drinking your juice.
KAYLA: It's just my juice. And why waste a cup, you know. I'm very, I'm very sorry. I, it's just, no one else is drinking. It's my juice. It's my juice. I know it is kind of gross, but if people can do it with milk, I can do it with juice.
SARAH: But I just…
KAYLA: I'm not saying you do it with...
SARAH: I can't get behind doing it with milk.
KAYLA: I don't want... It's my juice.
SARAH: Because then your previous germs are on it.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I'm not like sick or anything. And I'll probably finish this by tomorrow. It's fine. It's my juice.
SARAH: Okay. It's her juice. Alright, being ace in the real world. That's a thing we're going to talk about now.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Ace in the real world? Question mark?
KAYLA: Exclamation point. The punctuation. Colon.
SARAH: A colon.
KAYLA: Oxford comma, specifically.
SARAH: It can't be an Oxford comma just on its own.
KAYLA: One of our friends recently texted me that she had a dream that we were fighting over the Oxford comma. And that I was for it and you were a bit hesitant. And I was like, that seems opposite if anything.
SARAH: I can't believe anyone in their dreamscape would think that I am not 100% for the Oxford comma. It is in my Twitter bio.
KAYLA: is. Well, it's just a dream. It's okay.
SARAH: But being ace in the real world. We're about to enter the real world.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: How do you do it?
KAYLA: Fuck if I know. What? Why are you asking me?
SARAH: Okay, listen. Finding community. In college, or in high school, in high school I think it can be harder because high school is high school. In college, or university, as the rest of the world says, there are groups that you can find yourself a part of. In adulthood, you can still find those groups, but you have to be more active in seeking them out.
KAYLA: Yeah, well I think that goes for any group when you are out of college. When you are in college, the University of Michigan has over a thousand student organizations that you can join and you can just go and be like, I'm part of you now.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't think that's... you have to search for things when you are an adult, I think. Which seems hard. How am I supposed to make friends?
SARAH: And I mean, also there's the question of wanting community as an adult because as an adult... See I don't have to say quote unquote because I can just use the unquote
KAYLA: People are still listening. It's an audio medium.
SARAH: I just said it.
KAYLA: Oh my lord.
SARAH: As an adult, as a quote unquote adult…
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: I'm more comfortable with what's up with my sexuality and so I don't feel as much of a need for a community because I feel like I had it mostly figured out. But also I have this community and I'd like to keep it, yes thanks. So it's kind of like a situation where if I didn't have this pod, I don't really know how involved I would be in the community. Especially as an adult.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You know?
KAYLA: Yeah, I agree. I mean for me without this pod, I wouldn't even know I was demi I guess. But because of it, and I've always kind of had like a, well for the past couple of years, I guess it more came out in college, but kind of like an activist bend and I'd like to go into nonprofit like eventually once I will be hired by someone.
SARAH: She forgot. She fooled us there.
KAYLA: And so like this has kind of offered me that of it feels like I'm kind of doing something and it has pushed me to do more like I'm moving and we will get into this later. I'm moving to another state and like when I was kind of like googling around like clubs to join and things to do because I need friends.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And I was kind of looking up like the LGBT stuff in the area.
SARAH: Yeah. Perry just snapped me.
KAYLA: We're on TV.
SARAH: He said, you're on TV. Not really. It's just my laptop. Well, now your snap is on TV.
KAYLA: What was I saying?
SARAH: Looking for… seeking groups
KAYLA: Yeah. And so I was kind of googling around. I didn't like see many ace resources at like the local Pride Center where I'm moving. And so like, you know, I've thought about, and I've gotten an email from someone that actually listens to the pod that like lives there and is like, oh, I'm starting up this initiative like you can join. So I'll probably meet up with her and all that. But yeah, I think like involvement in this has pushed me more to want it because it's something I'm like more passionate about.
SARAH: Yeah. I'm just taking a peek at the chat on the live stream. It seems like a lot of people at their universities have something, even if it's not consistent. But outside of university context, it's not as…
KAYLA: Someone said that their ace club recently voted to change their name to an ace and arrow club. That's cool.
SARAH: That's exciting.
KAYLA: I saw someone ask earlier, neither Sarah nor I are in any LGBT clubs here. The closest we have, which is pretty fucking close, is a theater group that we're in. That was the theater group where I directed the musical that Sarah wrote that was about asexuality and there isn't.
SARAH: There's a high population of asexuals.
KAYLA: There's obnoxious proportion of… obnoxious in the fact that it's way higher than you would think.
SARAH: Obnoxious in a positive way.
KAYLA: In a positive way. Of ace people in that group and queer people, there's very few straight people in the group. It's theater, you know, what do you expect it.
SARAH: There are… like the Spectrum Center has meetings for ace and I always wanted to go and I just never pulled it off, which is sad and dumb, but… So, apparently I'm not as brave as I thought.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: But, I mean they definitely exist and there are other LGBTQIA plus organizations on campus that we're just not a part of because our life is consumed by other things.
KAYLA: Yeah. I have had contact with the Spectrum Center here because they've put us on their Facebook page and their social media at one point. But yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. So that's fun. The other thing we have written on here is QPRs.
KAYLA: Yeah that's for you, not for me.
SARAH: I know. I wrote it. QPRs. My stance on QPRs hasn't really changed. I don't… I don't know. I'm not going to actively seek one out.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: But if it happens, it happens. And then you plan to get married at some point.
KAYLA: I would like that.
SARAH: And when Kayla gets a wedding dress, I'm going to go with her just to try them on for fun because recently I was watching a video by a lady I like on YouTube where they just go and try on wedding dresses just for fun. And I was like, I want to that.
KAYLA: Do you know that, like, it costs money, I think, just to try them on
SARAH: I don't care.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: If I'm successful enough in my career.
KAYLA: You better hope I wait to get married then until you have enough money.
SARAH: I know enough people that I think for one of them I could pull it off.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Like my younger cousins or something.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Like if they get married.
KAYLA: I don't have plans to get married anytime soon. Don't worry.
SARAH: Because I was so worried?
KAYLA: I don't know what you're worried about.
SARAH: Okay. But yeah, here's the thing. If you're in a QPR, like, do you like have a wedding? I mean, you could.
[00:30:00.00]
KAYLA: You can have a wedding. Didn't the lady get married to the Eiffel Tower one time?
SARAH: Yeah. Well, it's like, I've mentioned this before on the pod, I really like weddings.
KAYLA: Weddings are fun.
SARAH: And like, in the video where they were just trying on wedding dresses, one of them is already married.
KAYLA: And they were just all trying them on again.
SARAH: And then the other two are like, not ready for marriage. Like, it's not like they're nearing it. It's like they just were doing it for fun. And they all started crying. And I was like, it seems like a good…
KAYLA: It does seem like a good time.
SARAH: Maybe I'll just… now maybe I have to have a QPR just so I can actually marry them.
KAYLA: This person said that they went to David's Bridal, it didn't cost money, they didn't like any, ended up just making their own. That's bananas and very cool.
SARAH: That is wild. I think it depends where you go.
KAYLA: Probably
SARAH: It depends on like, if it's like a chain or more of a boutique.
KAYLA: Anybody can have a wedding if they want to.
SARAH: Yeah, I know. It's like, I might just have a wedding just for myself. It's like an adult Quinceañera.
KAYLA: Quinceañera.
SARAH: Or like a bar mitzvah.
KAYLA: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah spooky scary…
SARAH: Bar mitzvah is boys, bat is girls, right?
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: I just kind of slurred the words together because...
KAYLA: Sorry if we got it wrong.
SARAH: Yeah, it's like an adulthood quinceañera and I, or it might just be like my 30th birthday party.
KAYLA: Can I marry this pod?
SARAH: I don't know if that's legally allowed, but we can try and work that out.
KAYLA: It sounds like we just got proposed to.
SARAH: Oh my god. The pod just got proposed to.
KAYLA: That's so...
SARAH: So exciting.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: It's romantic in the most aro way possible.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I think maybe just like, here's the thing. I'm one of my friends’… our friend Miranda, I'm her like backup plan if she doesn't find someone to marry. So we could...
KAYLA: By what age? You have to have an age set for those.
SARAH: 35 or something.
KAYLA: 35?
SARAH: 40.
KAYLA: It should be later than 35. People get married at 35 all the time.
SARAH: I know. I don't remember what the age is.
KAYLA: She should push that back.
SARAH: But if she gets married, like I'll just have like a big like birthday, like 30 or 40. I'll just be like, this is my quinceañera…
KAYLA: In a wedding dress?
SARAH: I'm wearing a wedding dress.
KAYLA: Are you going to wear an actual wedding dress or would you make it be a wedding dress?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Or would it just be like some big fancy dress?
SARAH: I think I would make it a wedding dress.
KAYLA: It could just be a second prom, really.
SARAH: Wearing myself.
KAYLA: Okay. Yikes.
SARAH: That's all. Okay. So, speaking of the future and it's past uncertainty.
KAYLA: Wait, I think I had something.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: One other thing before we move on about being ace in the real world.
SARAH: The real word. You already hear first person.
KAYLA: About being ace in the real world that I've thought about is like how to navigate having this podcast. Because for you, I don't think it matters as much because you're going into a creative industry. And this would help you, if anything.
SARAH: Kind of.
KAYLA: To be like, I have something and here's my little brand.
SARAH: I have a podcast. I've had to sort of brand myself.
KAYLA: Like if anything, it would help you. For me, I don't really know. I'm about to start working. And I don't know, is this something you bring up? Is that something I want my coworkers to know about? Do I want, because sometimes we talk about very personal things. Do I want coworkers and my boss listening to this? But it is there. It's public. It's on my social media. It's also on my resume, actually, because I do stuff here that's relevant for my skills.
SARAH: It is relevant to what you kind of want to do, because you do the marketing aspect of this pod.
KAYLA: And I got us that one brand deal.
SARAH: And I do the editing aspect of this pod, which goes more with my career.
KAYLA: Yeah with what you want to do. So yeah, it's just weird, because it is on my resume. It's on my LinkedIn and whatever. And so it's just weird to, I don't know. It's going to be interesting to navigate once I know my coworkers and stuff comes up of like, you know, I don't know.
SARAH: Yeah. Mandy makes a good point in the chat. Wedding planning was so much work would not recommend.
KAYLA: Yeah, my sister is getting married in a couple of years, and she has been doing stuff. And it seems like a lot.
SARAH: It seems like a lot. So I think here's the thing. I'll just wear a wedding dress and like, I don't know, I got to make it as simple as possible.
KAYLA: Well, even if you're throwing a big birthday though where you wear a wedding dress, it's still hard to plan like a big party.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I'll make you do it.
KAYLA: No. Are you paying me?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Well.
SARAH: Weddings are complicated, but I think wedding dresses are fun. So. Take that. I'm going to a wedding in a couple weeks. It's going to be great fun. It's going to be another gay one. We love gay weddings.
KAYLA: We love a gay wedding. Have you ever been to a gay wedding?
SARAH: I've been to more gay weddings than straight ones.
KAYLA: Jesus.
SARAH: Okay. So also, future. So we've mentioned that Kayla is moving across the country.
KAYLA: I'm not like… I mean.
SARAH: It's kind of.
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: Yeah. But the pod is going to continue.
KAYLA: It is okay.
SARAH: This isn't a goodbye live stream.
KAYLA: This is it. This is it.
SARAH: This is it
KAYLA: Goodbye.
SARAH: Goodbye. Tell the children what's happening.
KAYLA: I'm moving to Connecticut.
SARAH: Connecticut.
KAYLA: New Haven. That's where Yale's campus is. I'm not going to Yale. I'm a dumb bitch.
SARAH: You're went to Michigan. You graduated from Michigan.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's easier than Yale.
SARAH: Yeah, but it's still like.
KAYLA: It's the Ivy League of…
SARAH: It's a public Ivy.
KAYLA: Yeah, whatever.
SARAH: Harvard is the Michigan of the East.
KAYLA: This makes me sound like an asshole.
SARAH: It's a joke.
KAYLA: I forget. Oh, I was going to expose you for something. Me and Sarah were not friends this morning, but I can't remember why we annulled our friendship.
SARAH: Okay, anyway, you're moving to Connecticut.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I'm going to be in Michigan for a little while, and then I'm going to move to California.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: So, it's a little complicated to pod that way. I mean, we did it last summer.
KAYLA: We did it.
SARAH: When I was in California and you were in Michigan. So bye. I'll never see you again.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably. Bye.
SARAH: But the pod, may she live forever.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: That's what I have written in the notes.
KAYLA: Yeah. So I'm moving in the very beginning of June.
SARAH: I'm moving probably January.
KAYLA: Yeah, so.
SARAH: But we're going to do the pod remotely, as we have done before, as Hank and John do.
KAYLA: Okay. Not Hank and John.
SARAH: I know. But we're going to each have a little mic. We're going to call each other.
KAYLA: Each have a cow?
SARAH: Each have a cow. Yeah, keep track of the experiences of Herb and Georgie.
KAYLA: Yeah, on our Instagram, if you follow us, we have like little story highlights that stay in our Instagram for each of us and our cows. I plan on using mine as I move and do it. It's going to be like a flat Stanley, but a fat Herb.
SARAH: But a wide cow.
KAYLA: I'm sorry there has been lags.
SARAH: There has been lags. But Kayla was like, you can improve the pod with your fancy LA connections.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And I was like, but you need to find the hub of podcasting because Kayla was like, LA is the hub of podcasting. I was like…
KAYLA: It's either LA or New York. I know a lot of the podcast networks are in LA. So if we want to get networked.
SARAH: Well, I know a lot of the serialized podcasts are in LA. Or a lot of production companies are trying to go into podcasting. But it's not this type of podcast.
KAYLA: No, but if we were to be on a network like Headgum
SARAH: Headgum?
KAYLA: Headgum is a network.
SARAH: Oh okay.
KAYLA: Or like Maximum Fun, I think a lot of them are headquartered in LA.
SARAH: Some are headquartered in New York City.
KAYLA: I'm sure some of them are headquartered in New York.
SARAH: So that's a Tea. And also we'll be back next week. So
KAYLA: Sure we will
SARAH: We're not leaving. But yeah, that's just an update on what's happening. Things may get a little turbulent when Kayla is moving. And then probably again when I am.
KAYLA: Yeah, we're going to try to like record stuff in advance.
SARAH: Yeah, we're going to do some pre-recording like we did last summer while things are getting situated. Are you going to be home for Christmas?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So we can pre-record over Christmas for when I move in January.
KAYLA: Yeah, hopefully. I don't know exactly what my schedule will be because that's far away.
SARAH: Yeah, but we're chugging. We're going to keep doing this. We want to keep doing this beyond college. We weren't sure for a while, but we want to do it. Oh, Jesus. For those of you listening, Kayla was just chugging her big juice.
KAYLA: Big juice.
SARAH: I just keep watching my eyebrows.
KAYLA: Stop.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Asexual safari. What?
SARAH: Oh my god. Like, watching asexual on a safari?
KAYLA: In the wild
SARAH: Oh, aces in the wild. Yeah. Me and Kayla are both matching and we're kind of wearing ace colors, just a little bit more maroon.
KAYLA: This is definitely red, and so is yours.
SARAH: This is maroon. This is burgundy.
KAYLA: Mine is more red.
SARAH: Okay, well, I have never viewed it as red.
KAYLA: What have you viewed it as? This is blatantly red.
SARAH: From a distance it looks more maroon because you have…
KAYLA: It's blatantly red.
SARAH: Okay, well, fine. Sorry, Georgie. Okay. Future plans. Merch. We're still working on it. We've had a couple people message us.
KAYLA: We are behind on our emails. I'm sorry. If you've emailed us recently, I'm sorry. We're just behind.
SARAH: We're on it. Resources. Bigger. This is some great notes we made.
KAYLA: What did we mean by resources? Oh, I need to make the resource page on
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: The TED Talk episode is coming up in the next couple weeks.
KAYLA: Ooh.
SARAH: So if you have anything that you want to… that you think we should include in the TED Talk episode, do let us know. Um, because we want to hit on as much as we can in that up.
[00:40:00.00]
KAYLA: And if you have any like good resources that you like, send them our way because I really need to do that.
SARAH: Yeah. And then as Kayla mentioned, we're going to do some fun little shenanigans for when, around the time we reach 100 episodes, which will be this fall or spring if you're in the southern hemisphere, um, inclusivity.
KAYLA: Ooh, it'll be like September or November or something I think.
SARAH: Yeah. You're forgetting the month of October.
KAYLA: I always do that!
SARAH: That's my birthday!
KAYLA: I always forget October.
SARAH: So, there's that.
KAYLA: Look at me, push down.
SARAH: Don't squish it.
KAYLA: They get fat and then they get skinny
SARAH: Okay, well, that's coming up. It's coming up. Okay, pod, poll of, pod of, pod of the week. Poll of the week.
KAYLA: Big juice?
SARAH: Poll of the week. Big juice?
KAYLA: I think that's a good poll.
SARAH: One, yes. Two, yes.
KAYLA: I think that's it, Sarah.
SARAH: Alright, big juice. Okay. Um, I have a lot of beeves.
KAYLA: Beeves
SARAH: Because remember last year… last week?
KAYLA: Whoa!
SARAH: Last week how I forgot my beef?
KAYLA: I do remember it.
SARAH: I wrote it down because I remembered it. My beef of this week, and all of the weeks, is that the people around me aren't as invested in politics as I am, and so I have no one to talk about… talk with about the 2020, um, presidential primary. I have a lot of thoughts. Here's the good thing, though, is for once I'm actually kind of, I tend to be influenced a lot by what other people say, and because I don't have a lot of people around me telling me what to think, I'm actually, like, having my own opinions, which is exciting.
KAYLA: You should just do a spin-off political podcast, but it would just be like a rerun of Pod Save America.
SARAH: Yeah. Uh, big juice race!
KAYLA: Yes! Wait, is there a juice emoji? Please hold.
SARAH: Um.
KAYLA: Oh, you guys shafted the last count. I'm still mad about it. Pissed.
SARAH: But, yeah, I just wish I had more people to talk about the 2020 primary because there are like 24 people running and I have some thoughts.
KAYLA: We got a cookies and cream picture.
SARAH: Oh, yeah!
KAYLA: Apparently, Avan retweeted our livestream, too. Thanks, Avan.
SARAH: Thanks, Avan. Avan likes to retweet us.
KAYLA: He really do.
SARAH: My other beef is that the people on Pod Save America are much better at podcasting than me.
KAYLA: Well, huh, I wonder why.
SARAH: Which may have to do with the fact that, like, some of them were Obama speech writers and that they, like, worked in the White House and also they're, like, older than me and they've been podcasting for longer. There seem to be a lot of reasons. I'm just salty about it.
KAYLA: There's no juice emoji. We can't have a race.
SARAH: The connection is unstable. And everyone's favorite segment of the pod, Kayla and Sarah… Sarah and Kayla's juice of the week.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Poll of the week, do you think that you've grown personally over the last year? I would hope people would.
KAYLA: I would hope everyone would say yes.
SARAH: We'll see what the poll ends up being.
KAYLA: Maybe there'll be several.
SARAH: It could be a surprise. Also, I have more beef. Beef. Multiple US states are enacting anti-choice laws that are even more restrictive than things pre-Roe versus Wade. This country is fucked.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Also, that my dreams have been getting more vivid again. I don't like it.
KAYLA: Oh, good.
SARAH: What's your beef of the week? You're going to be up to 7%.
KAYLA: Hold on, I was so fast. My beef of the week is... I don’t know
SARAH: Yeah, the Golden Ratio apparently heard the pod, or at least saw the pod. Very exciting.
KAYLA: At least they listened. The way they tweeted, there was evidence that they listened to at least part of it.
SARAH: You're a foot.
KAYLA: I'm sorry. Oh no, I'm going to be on a foot website. My beef is... My beef is that all my friends work or are still in school or aren't in town, and so now I just lay in my bed all day because I have nothing to do.
SARAH: Go for a walk.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay, we're going to dive into the outro. I mean, we've been outroing. You can find our polls and things at Sounds Fake Pod. Sounds Fake Pod everywhere. Just all the places. We also have a Patreon. Patreon.com slash Sounds Fake Pod if you want to give us your money. Some of you give us your money. Thank you. And some of you are here today for the livestream, so thanks.
KAYLA: Extra thank you.
SARAH: Our $2 patrons are Keith McBlayne, Roxanne, Alice is in Space, who is here I believe, Anonymous, Nathan Dennison, and Mariah Walter. $5, are Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finny, Perry Fiero
KAYLA: Also here.
SARAH: Who's here. My Aunt Jeannie, Dee, Benjamin Ibarra, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock. Also if you are here and I didn't say that you're here, I'm sorry. Kevin and Tessa, oh, oh I'm, oh we were frozen for ourselves.
KAYLA: All kinds of frozen.
SARAH: Connection is unstable. We got to go. Our 10 dollar patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin and at Tessa_ M_K, Sarah Jones, who would like, who, ah, Eternal Lolly. And Arcness, who would like to promote The Trevor Project. $15. Nathaniel White, thank you for this topic. Nathaniel White, NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. And Anonymous, who would like to promote, I think it was Broadway musicals. I forgot to write it down.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: So sorry Anonymous, if that is not what you wanted to promote. Your computer is at 5%.
KAYLA: It'll be fine. We can do it.
SARAH: Um, thanks for listening, thanks for watching. To those of us who are watching, who will watch.
KAYLA: Or will watch.
SARAH: Our YouTube is bobbin', I guess. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.