Ep 84: Wikipedia Rabbit Hole
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SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: We talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, Wikipedia. Sounds Fake But Okay.
SARAH: Sounds Fake But Okay. Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: No, Kayla.
KAYLA: Lin-m-anwell-m-aranda.
SARAH: Well, I hope everyone enjoyed our live stream episode last week. If you've listened to it but haven't watched it, there's some special stuff at the beginning and the end that is not in the podcast.
KAYLA: And also if you just watched it, I know it lagged out a bunch. Like I went back and watched some of it and we just like stop and then restart a lot. So also listen to it. What we're basically telling you is give us more views and listens.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But yeah, thank you guys. It was a lot of fun. There's a lot of good good memes in our Discord.
SARAH: Oh yeah Bigjuice.
KAYLA: Bigjuice. Very excited about it. Bigjuice is dead now, but there'll be another.
SARAH: Rip Bigjuice.
KAYLA: Rip Bigjuice.
SARAH: Alright, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Well, after a long deliberation.
SARAH: After approximately 20 minutes of trying to figure out what to talk about this week. Normally we have our schedule, but it got thrown off.
KAYLA: I forgot that I was traveling so soon. I was like, oh no, Sarah, we need to record.
SARAH: Tomorrow.
KAYLA: Tomorrow. And then... So it's my fault.
SARAH: I came into this podcast with two beeves prepared, but no topic prepared.
KAYLA: Oh, I don't have any. Uh oh.
SARAH: Well, we're... so now that we've spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what to do, you know the game where you go on Wikipedia and you click a random page and you see how many clicks it takes you to get to Hitler.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: We're going to do that with asexuality.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I think it's going to take a lot more clicks than Hitler takes.
KAYLA: How... do you know how many Hitler usually takes?
SARAH: I think it's like something like seven.
KAYLA: That sounds right.
SARAH: I've done it in like three before.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, I don't think... okay. Should we like look at the same Wikipedia page at the same time?
SARAH: Yeah, so I'll do random.
KAYLA: You'll do random and then I'll just go to the page.
SARAH: How do I...
KAYLA: I don't know...
SARAH: English.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Give me a random page. A random article. Twistetal? It's a community in Germany. T-W-I-S…
KAYLA: Yeah, I found it.
SARAH: This is going to be fun. All right.
KAYLA: Well, that's... okay, so yeah, it's in...
SARAH: This is a pretty short article too. All right.
KAYLA: South of Bad Arolsen or Arolsen
SARAH: Bad Arolsen
KAYLA: Arolsen
SARAH: Arolsen, Bad Arolsen it’s Bad. All right. I'm going to click on Germany.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. Wait, are we going to Hitler or are we going to asexuality?
SARAH: We're going to asexuality.
KAYLA: So we're going to Germany?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. Click on Germany.
SARAH: You can do something else.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Do you want to do something else?
KAYLA: No, I want to look at what you're looking at.
SARAH: Okay. Let's see. Because...
KAYLA: They have their anthem on here. That's exciting.
SARAH: Well, no one sings their anthem because it's associated with Hitler.
KAYLA: Oof.
SARAH: Um, okay, hold on. Cinema. Media. I'm just trying to find... If I go to, like, government... I want to find, like, the legalization of same-sex marriage.
KAYLA: Who did that? Was it Angela Merkel?
SARAH: Yeah, it was when I was in Germany, so it was in 2017.
KAYLA: Okay, well then go to Angela Merkel.
SARAH: Where is she?
KAYLA: She's down under Chancellor.
SARAH: Oh, I found her. Angela Merkel! Okay. Personal life... It might be under... It's not under religion, okay. International status. You got to talk more, because this is a podcast.
KAYLA: I'm sorry, I'm just like looking. Well, because I'm in her bio, like her general bio. You'd think it would be in there, because I feel like it's a big deal.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: What year was it?
SARAH: 2017.
KAYLA: I just skipped to 2017. Okay
SARAH: Cool. Okay, social… approval ratings, international status...
KAYLA: Chancellor of Germany
SARAH: Terror attacks. Resignation plans, personal lives, honorary degrees... Oh, we have not been counting how many clicks it has taken.
KAYLA: This is our third.
SARAH: In the arts and media…
KAYLA: Can I do Control F? Domestic policy. Foreign policy? No. Damn it.
SARAH: Early political career.
KAYLA: Cabinets, approval rating...
SARAH: Bundestag!
KAYLA: Did you look under approval rating?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Because maybe it would go up?
SARAH: I'm mad!
KAYLA: This is getting hard.
SARAH: Background...
KAYLA: Wait
SARAH: I wonder if we go to CDU which is her party if that will...
KAYLA: Controversies
SARAH: There’s a controversy section?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Controversies. Alternativlos. The internet is uncharted territory for us all. Migrants... No. Kayla, you need to talk more.
KAYLA: I'm sorry, it's very overwhelmed. Her page is very long.
SARAH: I'm going to try and go to her party.
KAYLA: Christian Democratic Union?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. Is that a fourth click?
SARAH: Miracle era.
KAYLA: Where's miracle era? Where are you looking?
SARAH: It's just on the CDU page. Donor base!
KAYLA: Ooh, democracy? Just go to democracy?
SARAH: I'm so afraid.
KAYLA: List of political parties in Germany, that's not helpful. Maybe it is
SARAH: I’m going under history...
KAYLA: Oh no. Why is all of these just... What about 2017 election? Did she talk about the legalization of gay marriage in the 2017 election?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: I considered clicking on it earlier, but then I wasn't sure.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: We would be screwed if we landed in another country, given how hard this is. Alright, I've gone back to Angela Merkel.
KAYLA: You can't go back!
SARAH: I did.
KAYLA: You can't!
SARAH: No I did.
KAYLA: It's not allowed! Sarah, stop it. Go back.
SARAH: Fine. I'll go back to CDU
KAYLA: We could just go... Shit. Fuck. Well, we could definitely get to Hitler from here.
SARAH: Oh, we could have gotten to Hitler much faster.
KAYLA: Yeah, I know.
SARAH: To be quite frank.
KAYLA: There was nothing about them legalizing…
SARAH: I don’t know I'm pretty mad.
KAYLA: How is that just left out? Whoever made this Wikipedia page is...
SARAH: Why didn't you include same-sex marriage?
KAYLA: I don’t know.
SARAH: Well, because it was a whole thing because she was against it.
KAYLA: How is that not under her controversy?
SARAH: It's like a Christian party. But then she like met some lesbians or something. And then...
KAYLA: Well
SARAH: And then she was like, you know what? It's okay. And then it got legalized.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm so mad.
KAYLA: They keep talking about like... Okay, we're just going to need to go to something.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Let's go to the 2017 election.
SARAH: Where is that?
KAYLA: It's under the Merkel era.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I guess this is what? Our fourth? Fourth look?
SARAH: Yeah. 2017 German election.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Martin Schulz.
KAYLA: Wow, he looks angry. Oh, this man is young and scary looking.
SARAH: Christian Lindner.
KAYLA: What about the Social Democratic Party? Can we click on that? Or the Free Democrats?
SARAH: Where? Why would we do that?
KAYLA: Because maybe they would talk about the gays. Because they're more liberal. I don't know, dude. I'm just trying to get to the gays.
SARAH: Background date. Give me the gays.
KAYLA: Give me the… We... No. They wouldn't just like... I was thinking if we'd stayed on Germany and looked at population, but they wouldn't have been like, we have this many gays.
SARAH: No, I don't think so.
KAYLA: Well, opinion polling?
SARAH: Make a coalition. Just talking about coalitions. It's not really talking about issues. It's mostly talking about results.
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KAYLA: Okay, we're going to need to like, pick another party.
SARAH: Oh, man. Um...
KAYLA: What's the gayest party?
SARAH: The gayest party? Now you're testing my knowledge of German political parties.
KAYLA: You're welcome.
SARAH: Um...
KAYLA: There's so many Germans listening to this, they're like, fuck all of it.
SARAH: I'm going to say... Die Linke. The left.
KAYLA: What is it called?
SARAH: It's just called the left.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: I don't know, I'm stressed.
KAYLA: Okay, well I clicked on it, so...
SARAH: Oh no. Oh no
KAYLA: Um... Give me your beliefs!
SARAH: I'm just so...
KAYLA: Ideology. Social Democrats? Social Democrats could get us somewhere, maybe.
SARAH: Maybe we're trying too hard to get to the legalization of same-sex marriage.
KAYLA: Well, I'm just trying to get to the gays at this point. Well, so where else?
SARAH: I don't know. Let's go to Karl Marx.
KAYLA: You want to just start over?
SARAH: I'm so sad.
KAYLA: Karl Marx?
SARAH: No, don't go to Karl Marx.
KAYLA: I didn't. Great Depression.
SARAH: Did you just click on the Great Depression?
KAYLA: No, I did not. But I'm just saying it's there to click.
SARAH: I think I'm mad and I want to just do another random article.
KAYLA: No, we can't just...
SARAH: And just say we could not get from this random...
KAYLA: No, we can't start over.
SARAH: I want to give up.
KAYLA: No, we persevere, Sarah. I say we go to Social Democrats.
SARAH: Social Democrats?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Where is that?
KAYLA: Under Ideology.
SARAH: Ideology
KAYLA: Because this is just like a general definition of social democracy.
SARAH: All right. Social Democrats, social democracy.
KAYLA: It has to have something. Oh, Nordic countries. Okay.
SARAH: Ummmmmmmmmmm. Marxist-Leninist, Hillary Clinton. Hold on.
KAYLA: I see something in here.
SARAH: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib. Uh, FDR.
KAYLA: It should just be like Ideology. Where is that? Ooh, Social Justice?
SARAH: Where is that?
KAYLA: Very top.
SARAH: This is a large article.
KAYLA: Yeah, there's a lot of links in this one.
SARAH: Where?
KAYLA: Very top.
SARAH: Where? Oh, Social Justice. Okay.
KAYLA: Was this our sixth?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Religious. Health care, human rights, social justice movements.
KAYLA: Social equality?
SARAH: Human rights education. Environmental justice.
KAYLA: You know, if we could get to like Tim Gunn.
SARAH: You want to get to Tim Gunn?
KAYLA: Well, he's asexual. If we could just like get to an asexual celebrity.
SARAH: What about counterculture in the 1960s?
KAYLA: No. Oh, for… to get to gay?
SARAH: To get to gay.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, okay, where is that?
SARAH: It's at the bottom. I'm just trying to see if there's anything that would be better.
KAYLA: The bottom of what?
SARAH: It's under see also. I want to click on counterculture from the 1960s.
KAYLA: You didn't look under social justice movements?
SARAH: I did, but it wasn't there.
KAYLA: Okay, well that's stupid. Wait
SARAH: Okay, hold on, we can do this. we can do this. Gay liberation.
KAYLA: Wait, no, stop.
SARAH: Counterculture in the 1960s.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Okay, gay liberation.
KAYLA: Where's that? Human sexuality, why don't we go to that?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: We're going to human sexuality.
SARAH: I've already clicked.
KAYLA: Go back.
SARAH: So now I can go back?
KAYLA: There was no consensus. I just woke up. Okay. Human sexuality.
SARAH: Where?
KAYLA: I don't know. Okay, sexual orientation. Sarah, we're getting so close. We've almost done it. Should we go to...
SARAH: Are we going to go to sexual orientation? Or are we just going to try and find it?
KAYLA: Sexual behavior. It might be in here.
SARAH: It might be in here.
KAYLA: Probably not, but maybe. Sexual attraction.
SARAH: You mean like a penis? Okay.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: God.
KAYLA: Same sex, bisexual, asexual!
SARAH: Where is it?
KAYLA: In addition, there's asexual people. Go under...
SARAH: Oh, I accidentally clicked on Christianity.
KAYLA: Stop it. That's far away. Go under sexual behavior, and then it's under sexual attraction.
SARAH: I can't find it, but I'll trust you.
KAYLA: I found it! I got to asexuality!
SARAH: We got like eight or nine clicks?
KAYLA: Yeah. That wasn't so bad. We just had to take a little break. See, we didn't give up, Sarah. We got there.
SARAH: Alright, a random article. Are you ready?
KAYLA: Now should we try to go from asexuality to Hitler?
SARAH: Okay. Or Hitler to asexuality.
KAYLA: Well, we can do both. Then we can just take the same trail back. No, let's try to go from asexuality to Hitler.
SARAH: Alright, I'm here. Asexuality. Let's see.
Scientific research. Uh... religion? We can go to... We can find some Jews.
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: Jesuit! That's not Jewish, is it?
SARAH: That's not Jewish
KAYLA: Never mind. Don't listen to me.
SARAH: Wait! Pink triangle. Where? It's under community, general, LGBT symbols on the side. Pink triangle. That's how we're going to do it.
KAYLA: Oh, see, but we're going to get to AIDS first, though. The pink triangle was also...
SARAH: No. I know. I know. I've been learning about AIDS in my class.
KAYLA: I'm just saying. That's where we're going to go first. Where is it?
SARAH: Okay, go to community. It's on the like thing on the side.
KAYLA: I'm on mobile.
SARAH: Oh, Nazi concentration camp. Nazi Germany. This is going to be so easy.
KAYLA: Wait, where is that?
SARAH: Give your phone to me.
KAYLA: Okay. Wow, that was fast.
SARAH: It's so easy to get to Hitler.
KAYLA: Man, he sucks. Am I right, ladies?
SARAH: Symbols. Yeah, you can't do it on mobile.
KAYLA: Okay, well that just makes this game harder on mobile. Okay, well you did it though.
SARAH: I'm going to see if I can find Hitler on the pink triangle page.
KAYLA: I'm sure you can.
SARAH: I'm trying to like not like search. Just look
KAYLA: Control F, yeah. Um... Wait, so you're on... It's called pink triangle?
SARAH: Pink triangle.
KAYLA: I'm just going to go there. And pretend I clicked a link. There has to... It says Nazi Germany.
SARAH: It says Nazi multiple times.
KAYLA: It has to say Hitler in here. Oh, it probably doesn't though. Jewish!
SARAH: I'm going to click Nazi Germany.
KAYLA: Oh, man.
SARAH: Nazi Germany. Hitler. Four clicks.
KAYLA: Wow. That was upsettingly fast. Now, Asexual. Pink triangle. Hitler. Three clicks.
SARAH: Asexual. Pink triangle. Nazi Germany. Hitler.
KAYLA: Nazi Germany. Yeah. Wow, that was sad.
SARAH: You can get to Hitler so easily. It's like the 7 Degrees of Separation thing.
KAYLA: With Kevin Bacon.
SARAH: With Kevin Bacon.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But with Wikipedia articles and Hitler.
KAYLA: Yikes.
SARAH: Alright, should we do another random one I'm trying to get to asexuality?
KAYLA: Yeah. Let's see if we can do it in less. We did it in like nine Rank.
SARAH: Okay. I got Strawberry Cream Soda Pop Daydream. Which is a compilation album from Tommy February.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: Released in 2009.
KAYLA: Strawberry Cream Soda Pop Daydream. Okay.
SARAH: I have no idea what this is. Um...
KAYLA: Shit.
SARAH: This is going to be so hard. Okay.
KAYLA: Release of Gothic Melting Ice Cream's Darkness Nightmare? Horrifying.
SARAH: Should we... Uh... Maybe we should go to genre pop.
KAYLA: Uh... Just... Yeah. Pop. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Popular music. That's our second. Uh... Sunshine Pop. Well, I'm learning so many sub-genres right now.
SARAH: Technology, media
KAYLA: Baroque? Contemporary Christian?
SARAH: Bring me to um...
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Carly Rae Jepsen!
KAYLA: What? How's that going to help?
SARAH: It'll bring us to the Gays.
KAYLA: To the Ks?
SARAH: To the GAYS!
KAYLA: Oh, that's fair. Um...
SARAH: Hillbilly music.
KAYLA: Dance? The genre dance? If they had disco in here, that would be a lot more helpful. Um... Because disco was very gay. Hillbilly? Hillbilly music?
SARAH: I already said that!
KAYLA: Oh, sorry. Beat music?
SARAH: Uh... let’s see
KAYLA: Just authenticity?
SARAH: The New Grove Dictionary of Music and Musicians. ABBA?
KAYLA: PAPA? Soul music.
SARAH: I think we should probably go to a sub-genre.
KAYLA: I know, I'm trying to find like a...
SARAH: Or we could go to regional scenes, because that's just a bunch of countries.
KAYLA: Yeah, well, then what country would be the best to get to?
SARAH: United States.
KAYLA: I don't know, that might be difficult. I think dance music might be our best bet.
SARAH: Where is it?
KAYLA: Um, let's go to a couple different places. Let me see.
SARAH: Dance pop?
KAYLA: I don't know what I lost. Yeah, let's just go to dance pop.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Ooh, night clubs.
SARAH: Post-disco?
KAYLA: Ooh, disco. Go to disco.
SARAH: Wait, hold on. I mean, there might...
KAYLA: I don't know if we're going to get better than disco.
SARAH: You've got like... Lady Gaga.
KAYLA: Oh. Yeah, but like...
SARAH: I don't know if it would mention the gays there.
KAYLA: Disco was definitely going to mention the gays.
SARAH: Okay, disco.
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Because like, the gays invented it. That's not true. But like, it basically is. The big deal. Subculture.
SARAH: Synth strings.
KAYLA: Ooh, I think that's good. Donna Summer? Yeah, village people.
SARAH: Village people. Hold on, where do you see village people?
KAYLA: Uh, it's like in the general bio. It starts listing a bunch of artists.
SARAH: Okay, we can go through...
KAYLA: Oh wait, LGBT people.
SARAH: Where?
KAYLA: Like, the next paragraph down.
SARAH: Yep, okay.
KAYLA: Play along on your phones! Okay. Queer... wait, is this our fourth? I think this is our fourth. History, sexuality, gender identity...
SARAH: Transgender...
KAYLA: Oh, if it's not in here, I'm going to be like, pretty upset. Other LGBT groups...
SARAH: Bisexual culture...
KAYLA: Bi-gender, queer, women of color... Oh, what? Oh no. Oh, it's not going to be in here. Oh no. I'm going to be really upset.
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: I'm just going to search. I'm just going to...
KAYLA: No, don't do it.
SARAH: I'm doing it.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: It's not there.
KAYLA: Shit, okay.
SARAH: Oh my god. LGBT culture. Asexuality is not there.
KAYLA: Ooh. Okay
SARAH: Okay. So we're going to have to go to another one of these related...
KAYLA: Queer? Queer might be... History of sexuality... That's not going to be in there.
SARAH: Oh, let's do queer. Or sexual orientation.
KAYLA: Oh, where's that? It's under see also. Is that cheating, going to see also?
SARAH: No, it's part of the page.
KAYLA: Okay. Yeah, sexual orientation is...
SARAH: Asexuality. There we go.
KAYLA: Okay, so that was six.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Okay, that's like upsetting to learn though.
SARAH: Okay. Let's pick a page. Let's pick an obscure page.
KAYLA: Oh, what's that fish I like? The toadfish? I forget its real name. Hold on. You know what I'm talking about.
SARAH: Yeah, I do. Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat.
KAYLA: Well, there is one, there is a wiki page called toadfish. We're going to toadfish.
SARAH: Toadfish
KAYLA: If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll post a picture. He's just pat, pat, pat. One time I was watching like Blue Planet, and it was like the deep sea version, and it's this fish, and it looks like a fish, but then he has two little feet, and he just pats. He pats around the bottom of the ocean looking absolutely bananas.
SARAH: Oh, you've made this hard. Swim bladders.
KAYLA: Oh no, these are words I do not know. Okay, well we could get to fish.
SARAH: I think we're going to have to go to fish.
KAYLA: If we went to fish, there's a very small chance we would get to what fish means in the drag community. It's possible.
SARAH: Let's click fish, because all these other ones are like technical terms.
KAYLA: Okay, so that's two. The drag queen is a thing is...
SARAH: That’s one
KAYLA: That’s one There's no way it's going to be in here.
SARAH: I mean, this is going to be a big... Imports to humans. Culture. Finding Nemo. Jaws. Piranha. Mermaids.
KAYLA: Recreation.
SARAH: Foodism. Aquatic animals.
KAYLA: Mesopotamia.
SARAH: Walking fish.
KAYLA: Profit.
SARAH: Pregnancy. Fish.
KAYLA: We could definitely get to Hitler from here.
SARAH: Oh, yeah.
KAYLA: Because it talks about Jewish people. Okay.
SARAH: The Ich-Fiss. The Jesus Fish.
KAYLA: Piranha.
SARAH: Cave art. Mollusks.
KAYLA: There's a whole thing about if it's fish or fishes.
SARAH: Salmon.
KAYLA: Oh no, I really have made this quite hard. Digits. Limbs. Mammals. Mammals, humans, No, mammals, humans, human sexuality. Asexuality. Let's go to mammals.
SARAH: Where's mammals?
KAYLA: In the very first paragraph. Manfimbians, reptiles, birds, mammals.
SARAH: Mammals. Okay.
KAYLA: Let's click two.
SARAH: Okay. Humans.
KAYLA: Where is humans?
SARAH: Let's get humans.
KAYLA: Females? We got females? Rodents? Bats?
SARAH: Humans and other mammals?
KAYLA: Oh, humans. I found humans. It's in the first paragraph.
SARAH: Is it?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Bat tracks. Okay, where is it?
KAYLA: Humans, apes, monkeys. Humans. Okay. Click three. Okay. No, we're doing this!
SARAH: Sexuality and love.
KAYLA: Where? Oh, this is a lot of scrolling.
SARAH: Yeah, because you're on mobile. Okay.
KAYLA: Wait, where's sexuality and love?
SARAH: Oh, you can go to human sexuality.
KAYLA: Where is sexuality and love?
SARAH: It's under…
KAYLA: Psychology?
SARAH: Psychology. And then you can go to... I've lost it.
KAYLA: I have so much scrolling to... Sexuality and love. Libido.
SARAH: You can go to human sexuality from there. The main article is love and human sexuality.
KAYLA: Where? Sexual orientation.
SARAH: You can go to Kinsey.
KAYLA: Sexual orientation?
SARAH: Should we go to Kinsey?
KAYLA: No. That's not going to help us.
SARAH: Yes it will. We were looking at the Kinsey Wikipedia page like two weeks ago.
KAYLA: It doesn't say asexual. We're trying to get to asexuality. And we can get there right from sexual orientation.
SARAH: Where's sexual orientation?
KAYLA: The last paragraph of this section.
SARAH: Okay. And I've clicked on that before. Asexuality.
KAYLA: Asexuality, see? It wasn't harder. It was easier. Fish. Toadfish. Mammals. Humans. Sexuality. Asexuality.
SARAH: I get to pick one now
KAYLA: You get to pick one. This is stupid. This is our stupidest episode ever.
SARAH: This is what happens when you spend 20 minutes trying to think of an episode topic.
KAYLA: I'm sleepy. What do you want from me?
SARAH: Okay. I would like floppy disks.
KAYLA: Oh boy. What era were floppy disks?
SARAH: Before us.
KAYLA: I know, but if we can get it in the right era, it might be easier. Magnetic storage. History. Okay. Okay, so it says 1960s, but it doesn't let me click on it. That's stupid.
SARAH: Microsoft Office 2016.
KAYLA: I want to click on the 1960s. That would make it so easy. But it won't let me click on it. What the hell?
SARAH: A lot of these links are like technical.
KAYLA: I know. Well, there's things that should be linked that are not.
SARAH: Don't copy that floppy.
KAYLA: That's what I'm saying.
SARAH: Would we just go to USB?
KAYLA: We are not going to USB.
SARAH: 20th century?
KAYLA: We need to get to a time period that we can click.
SARAH: 20th century.
KAYLA: Where is that?
SARAH: The third paragraph at the top.
KAYLA: Okay, yeah, let's go to that. Okay. Click once.
SARAH: 20th century. Hit me with the ‘60s.
KAYLA: Yeah, honestly. Wars and politics.
SARAH: Social change. Sexism? Homosexuality.
KAYLA: Wait, wait, wait. Literally, what's that under?
SARAH: Social change, which is under overview. We can get to homosexuality.
KAYLA: Okay, well now you have to wait for me to scroll. Social change.
SARAH: Social change. Social change.
KAYLA: Okay. Okay
SARAH: You there?
KAYLA: Homosexuality. Okay, click two
SARAH: Homosexuality
KAYLA: Sexual orientation.
SARAH: Asexual. Oh, you're on mobile. It's a part of a sexual orientation group.
KAYLA: On the side panel.
SARAH: Yeah, side panel. And you can click on asexual.
KAYLA: Okay, so that's three clicks.
SARAH: From floppy disks to asexuality.
KAYLA: That's shocking.
SARAH: Alright, I think we're also just getting better at this.
KAYLA: Well, yeah, the first one was very stressful.
SARAH: Should we go another random one or should we just pick one?
KAYLA: Um, I'm trying to think of like a really hard one. Yeah. I'm just like looking at things in your room.
SARAH: Yeah, but like the things in my room probably aren't that hard to connect.
KAYLA: No, I went to, I was like, stick it, and then I was like, no. That's not going to be good. Um. What's something?
SARAH: Should we just do a random article?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: A random article. This is Henrika Juliana von Liewen. She's a Swedish noble socialite lady of waiting. Lady in waiting.
KAYLA: How do you spell that?
SARAH: H-E-N-R-I-K-A. Juliana with one N.
KAYLA: Yeah, Swedish lady in waiting. Okay, oh boy, that's short. Ooh, boy. Okay. We have the hats party.
SARAH: We might have to just go to Sweden. Can we even go to Sweden?
KAYLA: I don't think we can go to Sweden.
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: The see also is not.... Age of liberty? What's the age of liberty? Who is she?
SARAH: What if we went to lady in waiting and then got to a European country from there?
KAYLA: Uh... Okay.
SARAH: Okay, because I see no other options.
KAYLA: Let's click one.
SARAH: Okay. Uh, mistress?
KAYLA: Polygamy?
SARAH: Polygamy? Where is that?
KAYLA: Uh, second paragraph?
SARAH: Polygamy.
KAYLA: That could be good.
SARAH: Or we could just send ourselves to a country.
KAYLA: Polygamy might be faster.
SARAH: Okay, let's do polygamy.
KAYLA: Now, I lost it. Where'd it go? Oh. Okay, let's click two. Uh, mixed orientation marriage. Religious. Adultery.
SARAH: Polyandry.
KAYLA: Legalization.
SARAH: On desktop, at the top, it has one of those like, sidebar things. you could get to same-sex from there. Or you could get to just sexual partner.
KAYLA: Same-sex, you could probably do it.
SARAH: It would, same-sex relationship is where it would take you.
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: Yeah, you could probably get it.
SARAH: Okay, let's do that. That's three. It has bi-erasure. romantic or sexual...
KAYLA: What is it? Is it same-sex marriage?
SARAH: Same-sex relationship. I'm just getting mad.
KAYLA: Oh. It has to have something about... I mean, sexual orientation is on here. Platonic. Nope.
SARAH: I'm just trying to see if I can get to ace straight from here.
KAYLA: I don't think it's going to happen. Yeah, under sexual orientation it's not there.
SARAH: Okay, let's go... Let's just go to sexual orientation.
KAYLA: Okay, so that's sexual orientation and then asexuality. So that's five. That's pretty impressive for some random lady waiting-ish woman. It's pretty good.
SARAH: This game is fun until it stresses you out too much.
KAYLA: Well, yeah, you wanted to quit the first time you quitter.
SARAH: Also, I think that's just who I am as a person.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: I just get very stressed out when I really needn't be stretched out.
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Do we want to do another one?
KAYLA: Yeah, sure.
SARAH: Um, I don't know. Do we want to just do random article?
KAYLA: Yeah, I can't think of anything good.
SARAH: Random article!
KAYLA: Wait, no, go to... I wonder if they have the specific juice I was...
SARAH: Oh my god.
KAYLA: By the way, I have been getting ads for the type of juice I was drinking. Yeah. And I didn't say the full name, I don't think. I might have, but also it's been getting me ads for the low sugar.
SARAH: No you didn’t but someone asked.
KAYLA: Did I say the full name? Like, Ocean... Well, now I'm saying it to my phone. Ocean Spray, like, grapefruit juice? Did I say that? Okay, because I've gotten two ads on Instagram for it, but they're the low sugar version, which is bullshit.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Ocean Spray...
SARAH: I'm eating Chuck's Mix, I'm sorry.
KAYLA: Great, now you're going to get... Okay, let's just go to Ocean Spray American Fruit Cooperative.
SARAH: Ocean Spray Cooperative.
KAYLA: Or we can go to Grapefruit starting at Ocean Spray, this is going to be bad.
SARAH: I was already on Grapefruit, as if that would be helpful.
KAYLA: No, Massachusetts?
SARAH: Craisins?
KAYLA: Cranapple juice?
SARAH: Wisconsin? Did you just say cranapple?
KAYLA: Yeah that’s
SARAH: Cranapple.
KAYLA: Peeta?
SARAH: Texas? Sulfur Springs, Texas.
KAYLA: Methane.
SARAH: Allentown, Pennsylvania. Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin.
KAYLA: We're going to have to pick one of these states.
SARAH: I think so.
KAYLA: Which one is the best?
SARAH: Well, they're all sending us to specific places.
KAYLA: Oh, they are? Okay, we got to pick a city then? Uh oh.
SARAH: I mean, Allentown, Pennsylvania
KAYLA: Dubcek
SARAH: Is a decent sized city.
KAYLA: Okay, let's go there. So let's click one. Okay
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: So we could get to Pennsylvania from here if we had to.
SARAH: Yeah. Notable people. Any gays?
KAYLA: Any gays? Let's see.
SARAH: William Penn
KAYLA: A pornstar.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Let's see.
SARAH: Andrew Hamilton? James Hamilton?
KAYLA: Amanda Seyfried
SARAH: Oh. We got the Revolutionary War. We got the Liberty Bell.
KAYLA: The author of The Devil Wears Prada.
SARAH: Who was the kid... Who was the...
KAYLA: Wait, Amanda Seyfried was on Veronica Mars?
SARAH: Who wasn't on Veronica Mars? What was the... What was the movie that that kid that you knew, his mom... Mrs. Doubtfire.
KAYLA: Mrs. Doubtfire?
SARAH: Yeah. Civil War? We can get to Abraham Lincoln. Wait, was Hamilton... Like, Alexander Hamilton in here anywhere?
KAYLA: You said Andrew Hamilton?
SARAH: There was other Hamilton. Because maybe his wiki page would talk about his gay relationship with...
KAYLA: What if we... You can get to Florida from here. What if we go from...to Florida to like Miami?
SARAH: I mean, even Florida, if we pick a state... We just need a state that has notable gay rights.
KAYLA: I think we could get to Miami from Florida. Because this is just Florida.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Okay, it's under airports.
SARAH: I'm just going to search Florida. I'm not doing this.
KAYLA: Alright, hit me with Miami.
SARAH: So let's click two. That’s Florida. Gulf of Mexica.
KAYLA: I found Miami accent.
SARAH: Well that's going to be an extra click.
KAYLA: Wait, I really want to know what the... Hold on, I'm just going to open this separately.
SARAH: Key Lime Pie
KAYLA: Miami, okay. I found a link to Miami.
SARAH: Okay, I'm just going to search it. So let's click three is Miami.
KAYLA: Stop that.
SARAH: It's funny. That does one thing about...
KAYLA: Show me the gays.
SARAH: Give all the gays
KAYLA: Fidel Castro.
SARAH: Forbes magazine.
KAYLA: Miami Dade. Melting pot. Multicultural mosaic. Filipino
SARAH: Immigration. Aw man, where...oh, that's not something to get excited about. Oh my god, New Sock has a hole in it.
KAYLA: That was a roller coaster.
SARAH: Where was the pulse shooting?
KAYLA: Orlando.
SARAH: We could've gotten to Orlando.
KAYLA: We could've. LGBT culture in Miami? Okay, wait, hold on. Let me get this. Burn notice. I've emailed that guy. Scarface.
SARAH: Well, okay. Oh, there is Scarface.
KAYLA: Dialect supports. I think we should go to LGBT culture in Miami, because I'm not sure...
SARAH: Where is that?
KAYLA: It's under see also for culture and contemporary life.
SARAH: Okay, let's go there. So let's click four
KAYLA: Let's see if we can actually hit asexuality if we're going to have to go back to sexual orientation.
SARAH: There's no way we're going to...
KAYLA: If we were looking for any other sexuality, okay, not pan. But if we were looking for like, gay or lesbian or bi or like transgender, we would be able to get it in one less click every time.
SARAH: Yep. Just another way we're oppressed.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think we're going to have to go sexual orientation.
SARAH: God damn.
KAYLA: Yep, sexual orientation and asexuality.
SARAH: So it's six.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Man, I am jazz.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I was under Miami. I don't know.
KAYLA: Do we want to do one more? Or do we want to call it a day?
SARAH: It is up to you.
KAYLA: I'm kind of stressed.
SARAH: Okay, but then we can stop, if you're stressed.
KAYLA: So that was a time.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: What did you learn, Sarah?
SARAH: What we've learned is that ace is still more invisible than the other identities
KAYLA: Which we knew. But like, yeah, it still is.
SARAH: Because you can't find it on these websites.
KAYLA: What was the one that really pissed us off?
SARAH: LGBT culture.
KAYLA: LGBT culture. We could not get to ace from LGBT culture. That is some bullshit.
SARAH: That was upsetting.
KAYLA: What is our poll for the week?
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: Was the Hitler one the fastest one?
SARAH: I think our fastest asexuality one was five?
KAYLA: No, one of them was three.
SARAH: Asexuality was three?
KAYLA: I think it was from asexuality to Hitler.
SARAH: Yeah. But I don't think we could have gotten from Hitler to asexuality that fast.
KAYLA: Oh, that's fair.
SARAH: If we did the reverse.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Well, no, we could have gotten to Hitler to something about the gays. Sexual orientation might have been on there.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So we, it could have been three.
KAYLA: Yeah. So the fastest was ace to Hitler.
SARAH: Probably
KAYLA: Which tracks because it's so easy to get to Hitler from any page.
SARAH: True.
KAYLA: So that's the tea. What's the poll for the week?
SARAH: Uh, Hitler.
KAYLA: No. That's not going to be our poll. No or no.
SARAH: No. God Kayla.
KAYLA: We should make people play it. And then they tell us where they started and how long it took.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Well we're not going to make them, but you know what I mean.
SARAH: Or like what the fastest one they were able to do was.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And you can't just pick like sexual orientation.
KAYLA: No, that's lame. You have to do like random or think of something bananas.
SARAH: Yeah. For example, Chiquita.
KAYLA: Chiquita banana.
SARAH: Uh, yeah. So just, you play the game. Hit us with, or if you can do any of the ones that we had in fewer clicks, tell us.
KAYLA: I'm sure you can.
SARAH: Um, okay. Kayla, what is your beef of the week? I have mine ready. I'll just go first.
KAYLA: You just go first.
SARAH: I have two beefs of the week. They're both connected to someone named Emily Heller, but in a positive way. Okay. So I was listening to…
KAYLA: What's happening?
SARAH: I was listening to Pod Save America. And they were doing a live show.
KAYLA: Shocking
SARAH: And they had Emily Heller as a guest on their live show. And they did the rant wheel. And she ranted about this multi-level marketing scheme.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: Um, which is like, those things that are basically pyramid schemes, but they're legally technically okay.
KAYLA: Yeah, I worked through one once.
SARAH: Um, cool.
KAYLA: You know I did. Don't say cool like that.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Um, but she suggested this podcast called The Dream. And I've been listening to it. It's all about multi-level marketing schemes.
KAYLA: Oh my God, Sarah
SARAH: I'm on episode three. It is wild. But my beef of the week is multi-level marketing schemes.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Um, I, as most people do, know, well as most Americans do, I would say, know people who are stuck in these things. It's basically where to get, like, the way to make money is to recruit more people. And then they have to recruit more people. And then it's just like
KAYLA: Hey, lovely.
SARAH: Yeah. And it's very common in America. Which I learned on the podcast, The Dreams. They were talking about why it's such a specifically American phenomenon. Specifically women, too.
KAYLA: Well, just like, look at Americans, man. Like, come on.
SARAH: And so I've been learning all about multi-level marketing schemes and why they're bad.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: My other beef of the week also has to do with Emily Heller. Because Emily Heller is a writer on the TV show Barry.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: And my beef of the week is how fucked up the season finale of Barry made me.
KAYLA: I've heard it's very good.
SARAH: I watched the season finale yesterday. I know everyone's talking about a different finale on a different HBO show, but it's fine.
KAYLA: But Sarah hasn't watched it yet and refuses to be spoiled even though it's been eight years.
SARAH: I know several spoilers. But Barry, first of all, Barry is a very good show.
KAYLA: I've heard.
SARAH: Second of all, the season finale, I watched it yesterday. It totally fucked me up.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: I'm fucked up.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: So you should watch Barry. There's two seasons, but they're only eight episodes per season and they're like half an hour episodes.
KAYLA: Not on HBO though.
SARAH: Not HBO.
KAYLA: Yeah, see I don't have her.
SARAH: Oh, sorry.
KAYLA: Me too. Okay.
SARAH: If you have HBO, you should watch Barry. Or you should just like get HBO to watch Barry. Which is kind of what I did.
KAYLA: Or just like download it from the internet.
SARAH: You can watch the pilot for free.
KAYLA: Yeah, but then that's just going to make me more sad.
SARAH: Yep. Those are my two beefs of the week. And they're both like positive things. Like they're connected to positive things.
KAYLA: Sometimes I think we should start doing like... Also a positive thing.
SARAH: Yeah, because I do feel kind of bad that we just do negative things.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: Well, because like the Good Place podcast, they always do what's good at the end of their podcast. And sometimes they'll be like, this charity. Or sometimes they'll be like, eating dinner with your family. And it's all over the place.
KAYLA: Well, it's like... Did you ever do like at camp, whatever like...
SARAH: Highs and lows.
KAYLA: Yeah, we'd call them like roses and thorns.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So I feel like we should start doing good things too. Because I feel like it's sad that we end on like...
SARAH: Sadness? Okay, so my beefs are multi-level marketing schemes and how fucked up the season finale of Barry made me.
KAYLA: What should we call it? Milks.
SARAH: No. My positive beefs are...
KAYLA: Big Juice
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: My positive beefs are the podcast, The Dream, and... Barry in general.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And the character of NoHo Hank
KAYLA: Okay. My beef, which also isn't that bad, but I stayed up till 2am playing Sims yesterday.
SARAH: Because she’s dumb.
KAYLA: Well, it's free... Okay, until May 28th, it's free on Origin. So if you want to get the Sims for free.
SARAH: I shouldn't. I'll get obsessed.
KAYLA: Yeah, I started doing 100 Baby Challenge myself. It's very stressful. My juice, because that is what we're going to call it.
SARAH: We're not. Poll of the week, what should we call the positive things we say?
KAYLA: You know they're going to say the juice.
SARAH: Don't say the juice.
KAYLA: They love the juice.
SARAH: If you love me, don't say the juice.
KAYLA: You love me more.
SARAH: There's a reason we're not doing a Georgia or Herbert poll Kayla
KAYLA: Because we're afraid. My juice is that... I started playing D&D yesterday with my friends. It was very fun. I made my character ace, because I made us go to a brothel. And I got uncomfortable. So I decided that my character Brenda Pizza is ace.
SARAH: Oh my god.
KAYLA: Her name is Brenda Pizza. She can't read.
SARAH: Are you going to start a rumor that all ace people can't read?
KAYLA: No. Well, here's the thing. Elaborate backstory, she can read. She just refuses to.
SARAH: How do you refuse to read? If you can read, it's basically impossible to not read.
KAYLA: No, okay. So here's the elaborate backstory. Her parents rich. So she grew up rich. Her parents were like, it's a poor person thing to have to read yourself. So we have your nanny read to you.
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: Her parents then later in life cut her off. And then her mom died. Which she was like, well that's karma, fuck you mom. And then she had no money. So she entered a convent. Because my character said she was slightly religious. So she had to go to a pseudo-convent. But she worships pizza. The god pizza. So it's the convent for pizza. And then they were like, bitch you have to read. So she can read. And she's a wizard. So she can read. She allows herself to read religious texts of pizza. And her spell book and stuff. But other than that she refuses to read.
SARAH: So pizza menus are okay?
KAYLA: Yeah. So she tells people that she can't read. And she refuses to read. But if it's religious or spells then she will.
SARAH: So because here's the thing. When you can read, you look at a word and you just read it. Right?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You can't really control. So she just pretends she can't.
KAYLA: Yeah. But she tells everyone she can't read. Like the other characters that I'm playing with, she was like, I can't read.
SARAH: That tracks. Okay. Well.
KAYLA: We're also, this may not happen, but we're thinking about making it a podcast. So.
SARAH: Like a podcast episode? Or just a podcast?
KAYLA: Like a podcast.
SARAH: About D&D.
KAYLA: Like us playing D&D. There's lots of podcasts of people just playing D&D.
SARAH: Yeah. Who's us? Tell our listeners.
KAYLA: Piano fiano is our DM. The other people, I don't think you've met any of them. You have. They haven't.
SARAH: I have. Yeah.
KAYLA: But they're from our theater org. So if we do, I might try to get Sarah to let it be like a bonus episode. Like have, you know how podcasts on a network will be like, Wondery presents this episode. And on their feed, they'll just have the first step.
SARAH: Sounds fake, but okay. Presents.
KAYLA: Presents
SARAH: Should we make a media company?
KAYLA: Maybe I'll Sway Perry to let it just be under Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Oh my god. A lot of things can sound fake.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Like D&D.
KAYLA: Like D&D
SARAH: But it's real.
KAYLA: It is real. But yeah, so maybe I'll sway Sarah if we do make it a podcast To like have Let us have like the pilot On this feed so you guys all You know, so we can Shuffle them all.
SARAH: Okay. Alright. We'll see. Well, that's the tea.
KAYLA: That's my juice.
SARAH: @Sounds Fake Pod everywhere. Twitter, vote in our polls.
KAYLA: Do that.
SARAH: Do that, please. Yeah, Sounds Fake Pod. You can also support us on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Sounds Fake Pod.
KAYLA: Like piano fiano.
SARAH: Like piano fiano.
KAYLA: You like piano fiano
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KAYLA: Until then, take good care of your cows.