Ep 71: Hot Takes
Sarah: Hey, what's up, hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay podcast. where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.
Kayla: And demi straight Girl, that's me, Kayla.
Sarah: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
Kayla: On today's episode, hot takes.
Sarah: Sounds fake, but okay.
Kayla: Sounds fake, but okay.
Sarah: Welcome back to the Pod.
Kayla: M'aranara.
Sarah: Nope, it doesn't work when they can't see you.
Kayla: I'm tipping my hat. Just visualize me tipping my hat because we're going to be doing this at the beginning of every every episode now.
Sarah: No, no, no.
Kayla: Oh, you insisted I have something.
Sarah: No, you insisted you have something. I like you not having something because then it doesn't put pressure on me to say something after that.
Kayla: M'aranara and I'm probably going to drop it after a while anyway. But m'aranara.
Sarah: Oh boy.
Kayla: In case you were wondering, you are listening to the same podcast, we just have a fresh look.
Sarah: We have a fresh look.
Kayla: I'm almost worried that this episode's going to pop up for people and they're going to be like, the fuck is this? You can still don't see the name on that, but I'm worried.
Sarah: It's still pretty similar, the font is the same, the words are in the same place.
Kayla: I'm worried.
Sarah: It's just that now we're mixing shades of purple. I have an issue.
Kayla: Sometimes graphic designing is your passion, you make a new logo for the podcast and an entire website. And then Sarah's like, I don't like when different shades of purple are on top of each other.
Sarah: And you changed the background color because I told you to.
Kayla: Well that's fine. I was going to change things you told me to anyway because this is a collaborative...
Sarah: No, but you did what I told you.
Kayla: Oh no, I did what you told me to and then you still didn't like it.
Sarah: Oh, who's revving their outside?
Kayla: A tiny penis outside my window?
Sarah: Listen, it's especially with blues and purples, it stresses me out when there are different shades of the same color on top of each other. But it looks better than the white background. I'll get over it, okay.
Kayla: If you have anything nice to say about the logo, please submit it below.
Sarah: We have we new logo by way.
Kayla: By the time you're listening to this, our website is probably up, our new website.
Sarah: Got a website.
Kayla: Its a proper .com.
Sarah: Soundsfakepod.com.
Kayla: Unless that domain is taken for some reason.
Sarah: Nice.
Kayla: Yeah.
Sarah: We're fancy ladies.
Kayla: Anyway.
Sarah: This is what happens when you... I was going to say patronize us, but that sounds like they're being patronizing. Not that they're... Can you hear them shoveling outside?
Kayla: They sure are shoveling outside.
Sarah: They're shoveling that icy snow, snow ice.
Kayla: They, yep.
Sarah: Anyway.
Kayla: Anyway. This is what happens when you guys support us monetarily. We get fancy things. If you're wondering, our new goal on Patreon is, I don't know, merch? Which is literally what the goal says, I don't know, some merch with several question marks.
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: Because that takes probably... I haven't even begun to really look into it, but probably more money than we have.
Sarah: It does, yes.
Kayla: So if you're interested in that, you can throw us the money dollar.
Sarah: Oh we have to update our stickers on it.
Kayla: I know. We should keep both though so people can have the vintage stickers.
Sarah: Oh, the vintage.
Kayla: We need to... You don't need to have-
Sarah: Sounds fake, a vintage sticker.
Kayla: We don't even have the vintage stickers.
Sarah: No, we don't.
Kayla: Anyway.
Sarah: You got to buy your own stickers. Anyway, this is a pod rebranded. Everything's the same except for the photos.
Kayla: We need new pictures so bad.
Sarah: Yeah, because me and Kayla are stupid and didn't retake our fancy pictures, we just had to pick pictures because we looked stupid in our old pictures.
Kayla: Yeah.
Sarah: Honestly though, the picture that we have of the two of us now on the website-
Kayla: It's very accurate.
Sarah: Is accurate. But it's older than the other one we had. But it's better than the other one we had.
Kayla: What are you going to do?
Sarah: I stand by it. My nose doesn't look stupid, whatever. What are we talking about this week.
Kayla: We're doing some hot takes.
Sarah: Yeah, Kayla's been wanting to do... Oh my God.
Kayla: Oh, it's a snowplow.
Sarah: I know for a fact that you can hear that lovely listeners. Jesus Christ. I was woken up this morning by a snowplow.
Kayla: Who is that? Show me.
Sarah: Show yourself. I think they left, I think that was the point.
Kayla: No, I can hear them.
Sarah: Anyway. Kayla sit back down.
Kayla: Trying to run a professional podcast with a website over here, sir.
Sarah: Anyway, Kayla's been wanting to do hot takes five-ever.
Kayla: Was it my idea?
Sarah: Yes, it was. You have so many hot takes.
Kayla: Here's the problem, I don't know if any of you have noticed, but I have a lot of opinions that are...
Sarah: No!
Kayla: ...Strong...
Sarah: Kayla? Opinions?
Kayla: ...in variety. Stop, I'm self conscious about it and I'm trying to accept it about myself. Anyway, yes, I have a lot of opinions. Some of them are hot.
Sarah: Some of them are luke warm.
Kayla: Yeah. But when I was trying to think of my hot takes for this, I couldn't think of any of them. I ended up coming up with... But I feel like I must have like a hundred hot takes.
Sarah: I started my hot takes a while ago, but then most of them, I put in the last 24 hours or so.
Kayla: Yeah.
Sarah: We're going to do some queer hot takes and then just like general life hot takes. We're going to start with the queer hot takes.
Kayla: Yes.
Sarah: I'll go first because I have more.
Kayla: Yeah.
Sarah: All right. Ace people belong in the community.
Kayla: See, in my opinion, that's ice cold. But yes.
Sarah: The next one I have literally says this take is ice cold, but... And then it says Ace people are cute and beautiful and wonderful. Because that's true. Ace spec people.
Kayla: It's not a hot take.
Sarah: I said it's ice cold.
Kayla: This is not ice cold-
Sarah: I can't hear you. Ice cold. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I said ladies.
Kayla: This episode is called hot takes, it's not ice cold takes, I want to die.
Sarah: It's turned into karaoke. It's turned into kutcast Karaoke. Those are my takes because ace spec people belong in the queer LGBTQIA+ community. And that's my team.
Kayla: Okay.
Sarah: I have a little bit hotter of a take.
Kayla: Okay.
Sarah: It's that any person who identifies as aspec in any way has the right to claim the queer identity regardless of whether or not they choose to. So you don't have to choose that identity, but you also can't tell other people if you're allowed to claim a certain identity or that if you should.
Kayla: I agree. Because I think there's probably a lot of ace spec people that don't feel comfortable being in the LGBTQIA+. Oh, I have a note about that. Recently we got a DM that was like, I've been listening through the podcast and I recently learned a word called... They recently learned a term called gender and sexual minorities, GSM, which they were like is a lot easier than saying LGBTQIA+.
Sarah: It's like how Gay-Straight Alliance, a lot of them are changing to Gender and sexuality.
Kayla: Gender and sexuality. Which I thought was interesting because then they were like, it's a lot more inclusive of anything and you don't have to do all the letters and accidentally miss out a letter.
Sarah: I think I've heard of that before, but then I forgot what the letters were.
Kayla: It's GSM, I thought that was very interesting.
Sarah: But basically, long story short, you are the only person who can decide how you identify and whether or not you choose to identify with a certain group. If you're like heterosexual, heteroromantic, cis...
Kayla: Then you're not allowed-
Sarah: Then it's like...
Kayla: But take any one of those away, you're in, if you want to.
Sarah: And if are hetero-cis, you're welcome to be a lovely ally, but... Actually please be a lovely ally.
But yeah, if you fall under any, I guess minority identity, you get to choose what groups you associate with.
Kayla: You have an open invitation, but you don't have to take it.
Sarah: But you don't have to take it. Yeah. And I encourage you to take it, but I can't make you take it.
Kayla: No. And I would only take it if you're comfortable and you feel safe.
Sarah: You feel ready.
Kayla: Because I think sometimes maybe if you're surrounded by people that aren't so nice, it wouldn't feel safe or very welcoming or be a really healthy thing to do.
Sarah: Kayla, what is a hot take that you have?
Kayla: My first one is that asexuality is very White.
Sarah: That is a hot take.
Kayla: At least it appears so from the outers.
Sarah: The outers?
Kayla: Yes.
Sarah: As White people...
Kayla: What would be interesting is, so you know the hashtag, this is what asexuality looks like?
Sarah: Mm-hmm.
Kayla: It would take so long because doing this kind of analysis and study is just very tedious. But combing through all those tweets and looking at the percentages would be interesting. It would still not be accurate to what is real. Because then you're taking people who are on Twitter and who have the ability...
Sarah: Willing to post.
Kayla: They have a device to... So yeah, and it's still taking a lot of things into account, but I think that would be interesting.
Sarah: And also it's assuming that you can tell whether a person is White just by looking at them, which is not always the case.
Kayla: True.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: That's my hot take. My other queer hot take is that White gays are too powerful and need to remember where they came from.
Sarah: That is some hot tea.
Kayla: It is, but listen, it's just like are gay people still a minority and still persecuted and have a lot of struggles right now? Yes.
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: But not as many as they used to. And White gay men are the most acceptable sexuality group other than-
Sarah: They're the most palatable queer group to the general public.
Kayla: And they know it. And I think they're forgetting that they once weren't, at least some of them are, perhaps the rich ones specifically.
Sarah: And they need to use their privilege to elevate the voices of the people in the community who are still not at that level. And some of them do a very good job of it, but others don't.
Kayla: I think they just need to remember their history and who got them there.
Sarah: It was Black trans women.
Kayla: And it was Black trans women and I think they need to remember that sometimes.
Sarah: Speaking of Black trans women, I have a queer take that should not be hot, but it is. Trans people are people.
Kayla: You know what's another one?
Sarah: What?
Kayla: Is that trans women are women and do fall under feminism ya fucking TERF.
Sarah: Yep. Yes. That is some tea.
Kayla: Yep.
Sarah: I feel like a lot of my takes about the queer community don't feel hot to me because of this little bubble I live in, but to a lot of people outside of my little bubble are very hot. The fact that ace people belong in the community. You were like, that's ice cold, but it depends on who you ask.
Kayla: Even me saying that White gays are privileged, even seems dangerous to me because you could easily have people being like, well, there's still conversion therapy and all this stuff happening. Which is true.
Sarah: It's totally, yeah.
Kayla: And I understand that within the point I'm making. But I think even me saying that, it feels very spicy for me to say, even though I fully believe it.
Sarah: Or even just thinking about, when stuff like that is said, I'm just like, okay, as a White American financially doing fine, am I not doing it enough? It is making me think should I be doing more? But that's good that it's making me question if I'm doing enough.
Kayla: And I mean, we're doing-
Sarah: Am I doing enough?
Kayla: We're doing this at least.
Sarah: Okay, I'm just stressed now.
Kayla: For another time.
Sarah: Okay.
Kayla: Okay.
Sarah: Do you have any other queer hot takes? If you think of any, just blurt them out, but-
Kayla: No, but this week is-
Sarah: It is Aromantic-
Kayla: Aromantic awareness week.
Sarah: I'm sorry, transcribers.
Kayla: They're fine. They're slowly making their way through.
Sarah: Making their way downtown.
Kayla: Yeah. So...
Sarah: It is, be aware of us. Are you aware of us?
Kayla: How about now?
Sarah: How about now?
Kayla: Now?
Sarah: Are you aware of us now? You know what would've been good?
Kayla: No.
Sarah: We should have rebranded like weeks ago and then this week turned it green.
Kayla: Well, I was just actually thinking about, I'll probably post a green version at least. Maybe I'll turn it green for a day.
Sarah: Ooh, I'm not going to like green on green neither. Green on green is...
Kayla: The aro flag has two shades of green in it right?
Sarah: I know.
Kayla: Okay, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll turn us green for a day or two.
Sarah: Okay, let's see what happens.
Kayla: At least on Twitter.
Sarah: Yeah. Anyway, sidetracked or-
Kayla: Shocking.
Sarah: Or as I have a tendency to say, sidetrackted.
Kayla: Good. I love that for you.
Sarah: What other hot takes do you have?
Kayla: Open face sandwiches-
Sarah: Oh the open face sandwich.
Kayla: ...are not sandwiches. That is a piece of bread with some shit on it that you needed a name for, you dumb whore.
Sarah: I'm going to make an argument for open face sandwiches. I don't think they're sandwiches, however, I will sort of eat them.
Kayla: That has nothing to do with that, but okay, good for you?
Sarah: Well no, but they're far enough away from sandwiches that as long as it's just a piece of bread and one other item, I'll eat it.
Kayla: That's just toast with a topping
Sarah: With cheese.
Kayla: Yeah. That's just toast with a topping. Let me google-
Sarah: I guess it's not a counterargument then. I'm supporting your argument by saying yes, it's far enough from a sandwich that I will eat it, which means it's not a sandwich.
Kayla: Let me Google sandwich definition.
Sarah: I keep over pronouncing sandwich.
Kayla: An item of food consisting of two pieces of bread.
Sarah: What about a hoagie or a hero or a...
Kayla: A euro?
Sarah: No, a hero.
Kayla: A gyro?
Sarah: No. H-E-R-O. Not G-Y-R-O.
Kayla: Oh, okay.
Sarah: Like the things they have... What are the more common words for those, sub. A sub.
Kayla: Oh, okay. Then you're starting it in a dangerous territory where we have to talk about like-
Sarah: Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Kayla: Is a Hamburger and a hot dog a sandwich, and that's not...
Sarah: Hamburger is a sandwich, a hotdog is not.
Kayla: Okay. That's not something I have a personal stake in or want to start. I think our Discord was already talking about that the other day and it seemed dangerous. Someone in our Discord also today said they don't like raw cheese, they only melted cheese. I'm sorry, go back, raw cheese? What? Anyway, open face sandwiches are not sandwiches.
Sarah: Can I add an addendum? A hot take to that?
Kayla: I suppose.
Sarah: A hamburger is a sandwich.
Kayla: That...
Sarah: Because if you think about it, say you go to Frita Batidos who once sponsored us, you're welcome for the now free advertising. They have burgers and then they have other things that are not burgers.
Kayla: Yes.
Sarah: But they're all burger style, they're all in burger buns. And so if you were to order at a place and you were like, I want a chicken sandwich at a place that only does burgers, it's going to be a burger, but instead of a burger, it'll be chicken. It's a sandwich.
Kayla: I don't have any stake in this.
Sarah: It's just a sandwich from Hamburg.
Kayla: Okay. What's your next hot take?
Sarah: Warm tomatoes are bad, speaking of fucking sandwiches.
Kayla: Room temp or hot?
Sarah: Room temperature I can handle, anything warmer than that, can't do it.
Kayla: What kind of tomatoes are we talking? Cherry tomatoes?
Sarah: Any tomatoes. And any food that is made of tomatoes that has to be warmed in order to turn it into what it's going to be. Which means basically anything that's not a raw tomato is bad.
Kayla: Marinara sauce.
Sarah: Yes. Bad. Bad. Not the worst kind of warm tomato.
Kayla: What's the worst kind of warm tomato?
Sarah: Just a warm tomato. Here's the thing. I've complained about the food in the Stuttgart Airport before. Whenever I was in the Stuttgart Airport... That's actually a tongue twister. Stuttgart airport. Anyway, whenever I was in that airport, there was only one place I would get food from because the food there sucked, and it was a sandwich place. And they were like, do you want us to warm your sandwich? And I was like, yes. But there was a tomato on it. And then when I was taking apart the sandwich, because as we all know, I don't eat sandwiches like a regular person, I've just had this warm piece of tomato and it was revolting. I prefer my tomatoes to be cold. They can be room temperature if it's really necessary.
Kayla: See, my thing with tomatoes is, I don't love a slice of tomato in my sandwich, if there's too much, then it just gets in my way.
Sarah: I just like tomatoes.
Kayla: But cherry tomatoes, I will just eat them out of the bowl, out of the cart, eat them, eat them all up.
Sarah: I prefer a roma tomato to a cherry tomato.
Kayla: It's too much.
Sarah: See but cherry tomatoes are spicy. And when I say spicy, I don't mean spicy at all.
Kayla: You mean tart.
Sarah: I mean tart, that is exactly what I mean. I'm glad you got that.
Kayla: We have lived together for too long.
Sarah: I prefer them to be less tart.
Kayla: See, that's the thing about a bigger tomato-
Sarah: Like a roma tomato.
Kayla: It expands the tartness because it's bigger. It's more concentrated when it's a cherry tomato.
Sarah: And I prefer a roma, tomato to a bigger tomato. A roma tomato is a nice in between tomato.
Kayla: Why are we doing this?
Sarah: And it's also the name of a film on Netflix that has been nominated for a lot of Oscars and I need to watch.
Kayla: We're going to move on from the tomato situation I think.
Sarah: Can I jump to another food related thing?
Kayla: Yes.
Sarah: Chick-fil-A is bad.
Kayla: I don't say it's bad, but it is overrated.
Sarah: Listen, I like chicken a lot. I'll eat chicken from anywhere. Chick-fil-A is the only place where I've ever eaten chicken and been like, I didn't like that.
Kayla: I have an interesting relationship with Chick-fil-A. Because my family, especially the women in my family love Chick-fil-A.
Sarah: Especially the women, that's really specific.
Kayla: They just... My aunt, my sister, my grandma, my mom, they just love Chick-fil-A, I don't know my dad's thoughts on it. Maybe I'll have to ask him. Also a note on Chick-fil-A for those unaware or not in the US, so Chick-fil-A is a fast food chain.
Sarah: It's a homophobic fast food chain.
Kayla: They have said some mean things about gay people. Notably about this argument we're making is they are heavily in the south. There's a southern chain, there's I think four of them in Michigan, which are very recent. When me and Sarah were younger, it was very hard to get Chick-fil-A in Michigan.
Sarah: One of them is actually very near where I grew up, but I never went.
Kayla: Because it's on the college.
Sarah: So there's-
Kayla: College campus, airport.
Sarah: College campus, there's one in the airport, there's one in Sommerset Mall, which is also near where I grew up, but that was added recently.
Kayla: And I think another college campus, Eastern...
Sarah: Maybe,
Kayla: ...I think has one. Either way...
Sarah: They're not standalone buildings, they're in something else.
Kayla: In the south, there's standalone buildings like a McDonald's. But until quite recently, since we've been in college, getting Chick-fil-A in the Midwest in Michigan was very difficult. So every time that me and my family would go to Florida or go to the South, whatever, we had to get Chick-fil-A because you could never get it here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Sarah: And out of state kids were like, oh my God, I miss Chick-fil-A. And so a lot of times what student organizations would do is they would be like, we're doing a fundraiser, we're going to go drive to Toledo, buy a bunch of Chick-fil-A sandwiches, bring them back, and then hike up the prices and they would make bank.
Kayla: Which is smart. Here's the thing though, because Chick-fil-A is so hard to get, or at least it used to be. And it's like people from home miss it or you only get it when you're on vacation in a certain part of the country, people think it's really great.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: It's not that great.
Sarah: It's not that great. I don't think the chicken's that good, I don't think the fries are that good.
Kayla: The fries are pretty bad.
Sarah: The fries are not good.
Kayla: They're not salty at all. They're like waffle fries and they're not salty at all.
Sarah: If you're going to give me a waffle fry, you better give me a fucking seasoned waffle fries. I don't want no plain ass waffle fries.
Kayla: There's no seasoning on their fries.
Sarah: And for me to say something needs seasoning, for me to say it needs more things...
Kayla: For you to say something needs more salt though, its not very-
Sarah: Salt is very usual, yes. But mixing things, Uh-huh. Also, they're a very religious right wing Christian...
Kayla: They're not open on Sundays.
Sarah: They're not open on Sundays.
Kayla: Still, to this day.
Sarah: Which to those of you who don't live in America might be like, yeah, nothing's open on Sundays. Because when I was in Germany, nothing was open on Sundays.
Kayla: But here everything is.
Sarah: But here, everything is open on Sundays and it's very... The only things that aren't open on Sundays are little mom and pop shops, small, locally owned...
Kayla: Small family businesses maybe.
Sarah: Those are the only places that may not be open on Sundays. And so for this large chain, they have...
Kayla: It's a statement on the company. There's one in a football stadium in California. Notably football's played on Sundays, you go to this football stadium and it's closed.
Sarah: Oh my God. I've been in a Chick-fil-A once, there were bible verses on the walls in the bathroom.
Kayla: Really?
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: I don't know if I've ever seen that.
Sarah: They're notably homophobic.
Kayla: They have said homophobic things.
Sarah: So a lot of gays eat it out of spite, a lot of gays refuse to eat it because of its homophobia. Regardless, I don't think the chicken or the fries are that good. End tweet.
Kayla: Okay.
Sarah: What's your next hot take?
Kayla: My next hot take is that Russell Crowe wasn't even bad in Les Mis movie, his voice fit the character.
Sarah: I don't think he was that bad. It was my first introduction Les Mis, and so I kind of have a bias towards everyone in that movie.
Kayla: Here's the thing, so Les Misérables was a very long book, people call it the brick.
Sarah: Thousand pages.
Kayla: It's a musical, it's a very old musical. It's very famous. So there's this character, Javert, whatever. So in the stage show, he has... Okay, in any version, he has these very big songs, lots of belting, blah, blah, blah. So a lot of the people that have played him on Broadway, West End, whatever, beautiful voices, classically trained musical theater men, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Russell Crowe, the movie actor who also has a band-
Sarah: Not Russell Brand, who when I was explaining this to my sister-
Kayla: You're an idiot.
Sarah: ...Was picturing Russell Brand.
Kayla: That's not-
Sarah: Very different.
Kayla: ...Not the right person. So he was Javert in the Les Mis movie. A lot of people were like, his voice sucks, this is bad. Here's the thing, is his voice as good as a musical theater guy? No.
Sarah: No.
Kayla: Is it as good as anyone that has played Javert on the stage? No. But it's the movie version, no one asked for this to be up to those Broadway standards.
Sarah: She's doing weird arm motions.
Kayla: And Javert is a character... A lot of times in theater you do character voices. Josh Gad in Book of Mormon.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: Not good singing, funny.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: Javert's character. He's like a really... He's like meerrhhhh and he's all really religious and really like...
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: So for him to have a raspy, not great voice, for me, fit his character. I was like, if that character had a singing voice, and it was like if Javert the character outside of a musical was going to sing, he would sound like that.
Sarah: And for people wasn't who were like, well, you should have picked a better singing because that musical's literally all singing, there's no spoken dialogue. That's true, however, it's also about acting because acting for the camera is very different from acting for the stage. And so...
Kayla: True. You have to get someone that can do that. And some of the people that got worse stage actors and were able to transition well.
Sarah: Samantha Barks.
Kayla: But not everyone can do that. Because it is very different. So a lot of people don't agree with and they think he sucks, but they're wrong.
Sarah: My next hot take is a take that has cooled off a lot recently, but it used to be really hot. I don't like Ellen DeGeneres. I think we've discussed this a little briefly on the pod.
Kayla: Probably.
Sarah: I think she's done a lot of good things for women in comedy. I think she's done a lot of good things for queer people in comedy and just queer visibility in general. However, I think she does not use her platform in a way that deserves the respect that she gets now. Did someone just set off a fucking firework? Anyway. Firework, gunshot, who knows? It's America.
Kayla: It's the church parking lot.
Sarah: It's the church parking lot, it could be either. Anyway, on her show now, she panderers to her straight White, middle-aged woman audience. And I don't think there's... Pandering to your audience is something that people do, I get it. But she's looking at all these shirtless guys and being like, oh my God, mama. It's like, you're gay, you can't only be gay when it's convenient. You came out... That was a big thing when she came out. And now it's like she just uses it when it's convenient for her. And she asks her fans to bow down at her feet and she encourages her fans to do that on her game show, on her show. She encourages her fans to kiss her feet and tell them how much they love her. And then the whole Kevin Hart thing happened where she basically stood with a guy who made homophobic comments. And as a gay woman, especially a gay woman who has done so much for the visibility of the community, I just cannot believe.
Kayla: And what she did with Kevin Hart, is she basically on her show, her talk show, she was basically like, on behalf of queer people-
Sarah: Hold on Kevin Hart. What happened? So Kevin Hart was supposed to host the Oscars. Kevin Hart is an American comedian. Soon after that was announced, people uncovered some homophobic tweets from 10 years ago of his. And basically he was given... I think we actually, we might have discussed this, but whatever. He was given the choice of apologize or you don't get to host and he wouldn't apologize.
Kayla: Which is so... Is it that hard to apologize?
Sarah: He was like, I've changed, it's 10 years ago. And it's like, all you have to say is, I'm sorry.
Kayla: All you have to do is say, I'm sorry for my past actions, I'm going to do everything I can in the present moment to be better. Again, it makes you look bad and you're sad, but it's not that hard to apologize and you look worse now or not, I don't know.
Sarah: I almost would've preferred it if he'd been like, no, I stand by those statements. But he's been doing this weird waffling thing where he's like, well, I wouldn't say that now, but I also won't take it back and I won't condone what I said. It's like, no.
Kayla: He's been weird about that.
Sarah: And basically he went on Ellen's show and he was basically being like, oh, boo me, I had to step down from the Oscars. And she was basically like, we stand with you, we support you. And it's like, no, we fucking don't.
Kayla: She basically on behalf of the community said it was okay and accepted his non apology.
Sarah: And as a White queer woman talking to a Black man who made homophobic comments, a lot of the Black queer community was really upset that she had said these things on their behalf because there is a lot of issues with homophobia in the Black community, especially just because of these ideas of toxic masculinity that are conveyed in American media and social life about how Black men should present themselves and how they should act. And so a lot of people were especially angry in the Black queer community.
Kayla: Part of me wonders if Ellen is bitter? Because, so she came out as herself and in her... So she had a sitcom in the nineties and there was a lot of coded jokes about how her character was gay, it was all like wink, wink, nudge, nudge, it was very funny. Eventually she and the character came out. The show only lasted a year after that, I think. It didn't last very long. But it was this huge thing, it was really important. But I wonder if, because her show didn't last long after that, if she's just bitter and afraid to be too gay.
Sarah: I also just think she has a little bit of that White feminism in her and she hasn't been able to or hasn't been willing to, I'm not sure, unlearn it.
Kayla: Yeah.
Sarah: I don't know what her views on everything are. And I'll admit as much as I say that I don't like her, she has done some very good interviews, she's done some funny bits. She's done some entertaining shit. And I think she's done a lot for women in comedy and for queer people in comedy. But at this point, she's not doing well. It's like Joss Whedon, how I mentioned, it was a long time ago, but in his early days as a filmmaker and a person in film and television, he was really pushing the envelope of feminism. And then it got to the point where feminism passed him up and he just stopped. And I feel like that's what happened with Ellen.
Kayla: So I was just reading a piece on Shonda Rhimes, who was the show runner for Grey's Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder-
Sarah: Scandal.
Kayla: ...Scandal, Private Practice. I was just reading a piece on her because she is the most successful showrunner maybe right now.
Sarah: And she's a Black woman.
Kayla: And definitely the most successful Black woman in TV, I don't know, ever. But it was talking about how... Early in her career she talked about blind casting and she was colorblind and when people came into cast, she didn't think about race, she just cast the best person. And back then that was like, yes.
Sarah: That's how I used to approach my writing.
Kayla: But now where we are in this moment... So that was pre-Black Lives Matter, pre-Obama, pre Michelle Obama. Now we're in this moment where being colorblind is not enough and you need to openly write in minority characters and then you need to treat them as minorities. And a lot of Shonda Rhimes shows there are Black characters, but nothing about them is Black in any... They don't talk about their race, they don't have racial problems, they don't have Black friends. Scandal, the main character, she's the only Black woman in the show. She doesn't have Black friends. Her lovers are White. So the culture of whatever that person is, is still... They're culturally White.
Sarah: And that's something that I have in the past couple years made a intentional effort to change. Because if you remember when I was doing my rewrite on the first screenplay I wrote, in the first screenplay it was colorblind. And when I was rewriting it, I was like, I don't want it to be colorblind anymore. And so I actually changed aspects of certain characters to give them races. And it's like that's something that I was taught that now it matters. So you got to do it.
Kayla: I think for Ellen, we all know she's gay, she talks about her wife Portia a lot, they're in the news, whatever. But just that visibility of having Ellen is gay, they're having a Black woman on TV, just representation, full stop, isn't enough anymore.
Sarah: I think she hit a wall.
Kayla: Just seeing them, while that was a huge step of getting those people on screen, we're getting there, we've taken big enough steps now in that representation that that's no longer enough.
Sarah: She hit a wall and she needs to learn how to punch through it. What's your next hot take?
Kayla: Snape...
Sarah: Oh my gosh.
Kayla: ...Is the worst
Sarah: Severus Snape.
Kayla: Here's the thing. Everyone that's a Harry Potter fan is like, oh, Snape sacrificed himself and he was good all along and he died for Harry like a noble character. No, that man did not give a shit about Harry Potter. He was in love with Lily Potter the entire time, even though he called her a mudblood was-
Sarah: Spoilers.
Kayla: ...emotionally Abusive to her, threw rocks and shit at her sister, was physically abusive to people and emotionally abusive to Lily Potter.
Sarah: I think a lot of times we forget how much of a slur Mudblood actually was. Because there's kind of a reclamation of it in the books, especially with Hermione and stuff, but that's a slur.
Kayla: Especially back when Lily and James were younger, that was like the seventies.
Sarah: That is a slur.
Kayla: It's a slur. And a lot of the bad parts of Snape were also left out of the movies, which is a problem. But let me remind you of a part. When Lily and James died and Snape goes to their house, he sees James dead body in the hallway, steps over it because... He just steps over a dead body, sees a crying infant, no, I'm not going to deal with that, let me hold this dead woman's body and just sob because this is the love of my life who I was a shit head to and now I'm sad because she's dead. I'm going to adore that kid, leave the house, torture that kid for the next couple years because he looks like the love of my life's husband who I hated, so I'm just going to abuse him emotionally now because it makes me feel better about how I'm the nice guy that finished last.
Sarah: And James was not always good to Snape, but I think... And also, here's the thing, I don't have-
Kayla: Snape outed Remus as a werewolf.
Sarah: He did. Here's the thing I-
Kayla: You do that-
Sarah: I don't have as strong of opinions on Snape as you do. But I think since I've known you, I've started leaning more towards [inaudible 00:35:47].
Kayla: I turned you.
Sarah: Because here's the thing, I don't think he was a completely bad person. I don't think he was-
Kayla: I don't think anyone is black and white.
Sarah: I think that if you were to ask me in the end, was he really on the Death Eaters side or was he really on, let's call it the Order of the Phoenix side, I think in the end he was on the Order of the Phoenix side, he just did a very shitty job of it.
Kayla: Here's whose side I think he was on his own.
Sarah: His own?
Kayla: His own.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: He was only on the Order of the Phoenix side when it was convenient for him and his end goal of feeling like he had won Lily's love even though she was dead. He wasn't... No.
Sarah: Was he the one who had the pig for slaughter line? I think it was.
Kayla: Probably.
Sarah: When he was yelling at Dumbledore about raising Harry like a pig for slaughter.
Kayla: Yeah. Which fair.
Sarah: That's fair. That's why a lot of people don't like Dumbledore. But I...
Kayla: Dumbledore has a lot of flaws.
Sarah: He has flaws, but everyone has fucking flaws.
Kayla: In that series no one's perfect. But as a teenager he outed Remus as a werewolf, which was like...
Sarah: And then-
Kayla: I don't know, in a time past outing someone as gay, it's a dangerous thing to do for someone's protection.
Sarah: And then when in the third book he didn't out Remus, but he did push his students to figure it out themselves. And Hermione is a smart little bitch and she figured it out, but she's also a kindhearted little bitch. And so she didn't do anything about it.
Kayla: But they're taking this class of people who everyone hates and just like, "Oh, that guy, oh yeah, go get him."
Sarah: Yeah. I think ultimately he was on the right side of history for the wrong reasons.
Kayla: I think a lot of people really love him and think he's a very noble good character.
Sarah: He's a very interesting
Kayla: No, we'd invite them to reread the books.
Sarah: Not the movies, the books. Oh man. I'm just thinking of the Pensive now because of Harry Potter, which really relates to my next hot take. Hot take, dreams, no. Now I don't mean dreams and aspirations.
Kayla: Oh my God.
Sarah: I mean when you're sleeping and your brain conjures up strange things, fucking hate them. I think I've mentioned recently because of medication that I'm on now, I remember my dreams more. I used to basically never remember dreams, I wouldn't even remember having them. And it was beautiful, I would go to sleep and I would wake up in the morning.
Kayla: It should level out for you eventually.
Sarah: It's a little bit better now. I don't remember them as much, but I remember having them.
Kayla: I'm on the same meds as Sarah is, I mean everyone has a different reaction to meds. But if your reaction is me, once they are leveled and your body is used to them...
Sarah: I think my body's used to them, I think this is just my new normal.
Kayla: That sucks. My meds when they're coming into effect, I recently learned or coming out of effect because I lowered my dosage, whatever, when they are having an effect, I remember my dreams more and I'm so thirsty.
Sarah: She thirsty.
Kayla: I'm so thirsty.
Sarah: Yeah. I don't like having dreams. I think in large part because I spent so much of my life not having them.
Kayla: Yeah, it's just weird.
Sarah: And so I don't like waking up in the morning and having to think about what the fuck did that mean? I like waking up in the morning and being like, what time is it?
Kayla: I recently had a dream where a friend of ours committed suicide.
Sarah: Oh God.
Kayla: And I woke up and I had to text them because I was unsure if it was real.
Sarah: Even if it's not a bad dream, I just don't like it. I was listening to Dear Hank and John today and John was talking about his recurring dreams where John Cena encourages him to try new things.
Kayla: Oh my God, that is ridiculous.
Sarah: But even if I got that dream, I wouldn't like it because I just don't like having dreams.
Kayla: I'm very sorry.
Sarah: My next hot take, Friends, no. The TV show, not the concept.
Kayla: Have you watched it?
Sarah: I've seen some episodes. I recognize it's cultural importance, I just don't dig it.
Kayla: I watched the whole thing when I was maybe 10 or 12 or something and I liked it, but-
Sarah: Its really White.
Kayla: It is very White. And [inaudible 00:40:12]-
Sarah: How do they afford that?
Kayla: Its is the ways that nineties sitcoms were. I liked it when I watched it, I'll watch some episodes now, but it's not... I don't love it the way I think a lot of other people do.
Sarah: I wouldn't voluntarily be like, I want to watch Friends and if someone were like we're between watching friends and X other thing, I would probably pick X other thing. I mean, unless it was horrible, I don't know. What's your next hot take?
Kayla: My next hot take, similar or related to last hot take is that J. K. Rowling is canceled and over-
Sarah: She should have stopped.
Kayla: ...and I kind of hate her now.
Sarah: I know.
Kayla: No, no, no, this is my hot take. You shut up, I have a lot of feelings.
Sarah: Get closer to the fucking mic.
Kayla: I started having beef with J. K. Rowling years ago when she was like, I want to take back what I did with Ron and Hermione.
Sarah: Ooh that was what started it all.
Kayla: I shouldn't have put them together. Here's my thing, am I Romione shipper? Yes.
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: Even if I wasn't, I understand that not everyone agrees with his philosophy of media production and creation. My philosophy is, after you write it...
Sarah: It's not yours anymore.
Kayla: ...It's not yours anymore.
Sarah: I would agree.
Kayla: I have had many arguments with people who write and read a lot in our English majors who do not agree with me.
Sarah: But I agree with that and I write.
Kayla: Right. So interesting. So that is my opinion. So I think the fact that you would do that and then try to take it back is not fair to your readers and the fan base. Similarly, when you come out and say, I know I didn't write this representation into my book, but Dumbledore was gay the whole time.
Sarah: And then you don't even put it in fucking Fantastic Beasts.
Kayla: While that was exciting at the time when I was younger and I didn't really think about it, when I think now, I'm like, that's kind of fucked up that you don't have the balls to write that into your series at the time and now you're trying to gain cred and wokeness points.
Sarah: I'm mostly just upset that even after she said that, they neglected... They could have included that in Fantastic Beasts.
Kayla: Right, so now there's a series-
Sarah: And they had a perfect door. If they had taken one step further, they could have done it, but they just fucking refused to.
Kayla: So Fantastic Beast is like a prequel series. A, writing, no, not good. J. K. Rowling needs to stop writing I think, she is bad at it, I think, now.
Sarah: I know we asked her for more and for so long she said no. And then when she first said yes, we were so excited and now we all regret everything.
Kayla: Everything from Cursed child, I haven't seen it. I read the script-
Sarah: The book.
Kayla: The book that came out, trash. I've read fan fiction a million times better. It was trash. Plot, where? It was bad.
Sarah: Where?
Kayla: But yeah, so Fantastic Beasts is like-
Sarah: They did have a Black Hermione on West End, which was exciting, but like... yeah.
Kayla: But yeah, so Fantastic Beasts is a prequel with young Dumbledore in it, interacting with and talking about his supposed love interest. They hinted at it and did nothing else.
Sarah: They touched hands.
Kayla: Which I thought... And they talked about, one character was like, Ooh, you guys were as close as brothers. And Dumbledore was like, not really. And I was like, really? That's all we get? That's all we got.
Sarah: That's not-
Kayla: I later screamed in the theater at a movie, I wanted to watch gay porn with my friends and they didn't let me. That is still how I feel about it. And then she's like...
Sarah: The peeing yourself-
Kayla: I have one more.
Sarah: ...and then magic-ing it away, that pisses me off. What about the... Okay, sorry, I have to rant.
Kayla: Okay you need to back up and give people context.
Sarah: Okay. So she tweeted somewhat recently about how because they don't have plumbing and stuff because electronics and magic don't go together well, and so she was like, until the 1800, wizards would just shit themselves and then magic it away.
Kayla: They would just squat in the halls of Hogwarts take a shit and then magic it away.
Sarah: Yeah, because whatever. But here's the thing, here's the thing... Also, I just imagine them all shitting themselves. Like you don't even imagine them-
Kayla: I imagined them squatting.
Sarah: Oh, I imagine them just hitting themselves. But here's the thing, children when they're not at Hogwarts can't use magic.
Kayla: Oh my God, I didn't even think about that. So do their parents have to magic their shit away?
Sarah: Do have to magic their 16 year olds shit away?
Kayla: They say Hogwarts didn't have plumbing, residential homes in the wizarding world may have had plumbing and then Hogwarts just didn't get their act together until later. Imagine growing up your whole life using a toilet and then you get to school and they're like, nah.
Sarah: Imagine being a fucking first year and you can't even wingardium leviosa, and they're like, get rid of your shit.
Kayla: You know what also is stupid, is how she was like, representation, you want more? Okay. That snake in the movie, she's an Asian woman now, but she won't say anything the whole movie.
Sarah: She won't say any words.
Kayla: Also, you can't just insert representation later and think that... J. K. Rowling is the epitome of a White feminist.
Sarah: I appreciate that she's trying to right her wrongs and add the representation in now that maybe she's a little bit more woke, but she's doing the minimum and I think she could do a little bit more than that.
Kayla: She just needs to stop.
Sarah: Also, the other thing that pissed me off about the shitting yourself thing is that there's a line, it's stands out to me a lot, where they're talking about the room of requirement in the books and Dumbledore didn't know about it. And he was like, oh, that was the room where all the chamber pots were that one time when I really had to pee in the middle of the night and I passed by the room of requirement and I got lost in Hogwarts and it turned into a room full of chamber pots, which leads me to believe that they had chamber pots.
Kayla: Yeah. She's not thinking about her own damn... She needs to stop. She wrote that one book after Harry Potter under a pseudonym and it was just like a regular fiction book and it got terrible reviews and everyone was like, this is shit writing. She peaked and she needs to stop. She's not a good writer anymore, she's a White feminist, she keeps doing dumb shit and I'm over her.
Sarah: My next hot take is Elf's Lament. It's a great Christmas song.
Kayla: I don't even know what that is.
Sarah: It's about elves fighting up against the dangers of capitalism and forming a union. It's Michael Bublé and the Barenaked Ladies and it's wonderful.
Kayla: My God.
Sarah: It is a great song, that's the tea. My next hot take, I think it's a good thing that there are already so many Democrats running for 2020.
Kayla: You don't?
Sarah: I do, I think it is a good thing.
Kayla: Oh okay, okay.
Sarah: Because yes, you do run the risk of having the Donald Trump effect where they win with 25% of the vote, they win the primary. But I think it's good because it's, first of all, it's already doing good things to help solidify and coalesce and decide what the Democratic Party stands for. It's also bringing up a lot of issues that may not be brought up if it were just one-on-one that people care about and they're bringing them into debate. And even if they don't get enacted right away or even if whatever, whatever, whatever, they'll get talked about, that's the tea.
Second tea is, fuck Howard Schultz. He's the CEO of Starbucks and he's like, I am going to run as an independent. And everyone was like, Howard now is not the fucking time to run as an independent because he leans democratic. And so people are like, you're going to split the vote and Trump's going to fucking win. And everyone was like, please, no. And other people who had considered running as an independent were like, please Howard Schultz no. This is the former mayor of New York, no, whatever, Governor? One of those ones. He was like, I considered doing that too, but then I was like, it will split the vote and Trump will get reelected so I'm not going to, and he was like, Howard Schultz, you should do the same. But Howard Schultz is a fucking billionaire and he just thinks he can do whatever he wants. He won't even say what... He just says the things about the stances of the current candidates, he's like, I don't like that, but he offers no alternatives. He offers no original stance, he's just like, I don't like that. He's going to split the vote and Trump was going to get reelected, that's the tea next.
Kayla: Well my next one is related, is that voting third party isn't noble and it's not revolutionary. And I agree we shouldn't just have two parties, but now is not the time and voting third party is not the way to bring in more parties.
Sarah: Now is not the time. As much as that sucks and I get, because a lot of people, it's like you're choosing between the lesser of two evils and that's how a lot of people view it, and I get that. But...
Kayla: It's just like how it is though.
Sarah: Right now, especially with how precarious our situation is. You have to choose the lesser of two evils. And you know what? Be really engaged in the Democratic primary. Try and get the person who you like best into that position. And then whoever wins the primary support them.
Kayla: Do not bust.
Sarah: Pod Save America. Artie is raising money where... I'm just supporting Pod Save America on this pod again, what's new. They already started a fundraiser called Unify or Die.
Kayla: Oh no.
Sarah: Where basically, they're raising money for whoever wins the Democratic primary and the money will go to them as soon as they win, which is a time when a lot of candidates have the least amount of money because they just spent all of it on the primary. And so they're like, regardless of who wins the primary, this money is going to them because we need to get behind them.
Kayla: Interesting.
Sarah: Yeah. Anyway, you should donate to that, I'm going to. Hot tea, respect Midwestern cities, they're lovely, just give them a fucking chance. Give them a fucking chance.
Kayla: Okay.
Sarah: I need to take my own advice and learn to respect Detroit more, I know.
Kayla: I was just in the outskirts of Detroit, not great.
Sarah: Today I had someone who is not from the Midwest be like, "Hey, is it safe to go to a concert by myself in Detroit at night?" And we had this whole conversation about it.
Kayla: Well, depends on where.
Sarah: Well yeah, but that's what... And I was just immediately thinking... Just the way I was thinking about it made me sad about my own thought processes about the city of Detroit.
Kayla: I went to a concert in Mexican Town, which was fine, my boyfriend got frisked and I did not on the way in checked, which I thought was funny because I didn't get checked. But we went to a Taco Bell before because we're classy and it was further outside the area and it had bulletproof glass covering the whole thing, which I have seen before, but my boyfriend had never seen in any place before.
Sarah: He's from the Bay Area.
Kayla: To be fair though, the only other time I had seen that was also when I was in Detroit going door to door for a shit job that I once had. But anyway, I was saying to him, if I were here by myself, I would not feel comfortable. And we also stuck out like a sore thumb. Everyone in the restaurant was Black and we were just the Whitest people ever.
Sarah: But it's like any city, it depends where you are and you just have to be smart about it. But I think we have, especially as White Michiganders who are from the suburbs, we have... I've said it before, I'm the direct result of White flight out of Detroit. And so because of that, that shapes my view of Detroit. I need to respect Detroit more, you all need to respect Indianapolis more, you tend to respect Chicago pretty well so keep doing that. Respect Milwaukee.
Kayla: So the entire state of Illinois, shit economy, things are not going well there.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: Chicago actually has a good amount of crime, things aren't really going well economically in Chicago either. But no one really talks about it, everyone loves Chicago.
Sarah: Everyone just thinks that Chicago is Illinois.
Kayla: But they also... Everyone loves Chicago. I'm moving to a city where people have told me like, there's crime, it's bad, whatever. But I looked into it and compared to Chicago seems pretty similar, but no one talks about that.
Sarah: Well, Chicago's also the third most populated city in the country. So if you compare it to the two higher ones, which are LA and New York, its... You expect it in a city like that, whereas when you get to smaller cities, I think you expect it less. Okay. My next hot take 2003 Peter Pan is the best Peter Pan making me question my romantic orientation from day one.
Kayla: He's a hot kid. Feels weird to say that now because he was a child.
Sarah: See he was 14 then, but he was 14 in 2003.
Kayla: Oh, he old.
Sarah: Yeah.
Kayla: But he was cute.
Sarah: I was six in 2003. I turned six.
Kayla: Why did I think he was hot all the way back then?
Sarah: Well, you might not have watched it when you were that little.
Kayla: Either way, still did have a crush on him. I have never had a celebrity crush that is real.
Sarah: Just making me question my aromanticism from day one. Do you have more hot takes or should I keep going?
Kayla: I one more bigger one.
Sarah: Okay.
Kayla: I have two more, how much time we got?
Sarah: It's fine, go.
Kayla: Okay. I know we're all depressed in this post 9/11 era and we're just trying to relive happier times. Which A, were they ever happier though? Those old times?
Sarah: People who romanticize the fifties, Jim Crow?
Kayla: Stop remaking media just to cash in on nostalgia, I'm bored.
Sarah: Hmm, all right.
Kayla: I get it, I'm excited about some of it. The fact that Mean Girls and Pretty Woman became musicals, that there's like remix, some of them are really good and I enjoy it, but like...
Sarah: It's a thing to remake stuff now.
Kayla: Yeah. And I get it that ever since 9/11 we're all very sad and we want things to go back to how they were. But things before 9/11 weren't that great either. And also, stop it, I'm bored.
Sarah: Even just talking about the state of the US military. Because a lot of times people think about 9/11 as it was the start of the War on Terror and we got freaked out by everyone and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Before that you had the fucking Gulf war.
Kayla: Yeah.
Sarah: You had Vietnam, you had Korea, and then-
Kayla: Those weren't really-
Sarah: ...cold War, and then here we are in World War II.
Kayla: Things weren't great.
Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Hot take. George Salazar is my husband, but also my father, son and holy spirit.
Kayla: That's not a hot take, you just...
Sarah: He's my newest obsession, okay. Okay, what do you want me to do about it?
Kayla: Hot take, It's time for the Avengers, especially Tony Stark to be over. I like the newer Marvel movies like Guardians and Black Panther and all of that-
Sarah: Except Chris Pratt is canceled.
Kayla: Chris Pratt did get canceled unfortunately, because he was one of the good Chris's. But I'm bored. And Tony Stark's character Arc has gone in a circle.
Sarah: See, I love the MCU. I think Tony and Steve are going to die in Endgame and I think it's time
Kayla: And they need to.
Sarah: As much as I would love to see phenomenal movies of them moving forward, I don't think that at this point they're going to continue to be phenomenal movies.
Kayla: It's over, I'm bored.
Sarah: And So I think they both need to die. I appreciate them both for the wonderful things they've they've done for the MCU, I'm a nostalgic little bitch and I love the MCU, so like what's the big deal?
Kayla: I'm not saying they weren't good in their time, but if the Marvel universe is going to continue to be profitable, they need to keep pushing the envelope like they've done with Black Panther instead of running the risk of repeating everything and just constantly remaking things. And I'm already suspicious about their motives of just money grabbing and not caring about their creative process.
Sarah: I fucking live for Endgame though.
Kayla: I know, but I'm just saying that if I'm... And I'm a pessimistic person in the first place, but I'm already getting suspicious of that, so to keep the world in general from being over and done with them and bored, they're going to need to step it up or else we're all going to get bored.
Sarah: Also let them play new roles, let them be someone new.
Kayla: I'm bored.
Sarah: Hot take, I'm edgy.
Kayla: Are we done here? I'd like to go.
Sarah: I have two more. And one of them you're going to get mad at me about, we discussed this last night, hot take, Percy Jackson would beat Harry Potter in a fight. Now, before Kayla gets mad at me, I'm going to give you-
Kayla: Is Evan home?
Sarah: I don't know. I'm going to give you some parameters. Okay, they're in a ring, it's not like we're out in the open. This is like MMA, we're in a ring or a box or a square, whatever. So that's rule number one. Rule number two, they're maintaining their own moral codes. So Harry is not going to whip out a fucking killing curse, okay. Three, it's not to the death, it's tap out or knockout. It's not like they're trying to kill each other. Also, moral code so they wouldn't do that.
Kayla: I seems like you're putting a lot of...
Sarah: No those are the only rules. Its those three rules. I think Percy would win.
Kayla: Here's my thing, does Percy have more raw inherent power?
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: Perhaps.
Sarah: I think they're both dumb bitches.
Kayla: Is his power optimized for one-on-one combat?
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: ...against someone who has spells specific for harm and knockout and who has been trained in dueling?
Sarah: Yes.
Kayla: And has done it against the most powerful wizard in the world.
Sarah: This bitch fucking fights Gods.
Kayla: I just don't think that his powers are a correct match. I agree he's very powerful, but I don't think his powers are a correct matchup to beat what Harry can do with the tools he has, which is a wand and a bunch of spells and a broom.
Sarah: See but then I was like, what might Harry Potter use to combat him? And I was like, okay, the locomotor mortis one, which is the one where you freeze up, they use it on Neville in book one. And I was like, well, that doesn't work because he's not knocked out, he's still awake and he can't tap out if he can't move, so that wouldn't even work.
Kayla: I mean, yeah, he's not knocked out, but you could just leave him there forever.
Sarah: Theoretically, yeah. But that wouldn't be a very satisfying win.
Kayla: Well, it would be a win still, you would win.
Sarah: I don't think so because he's not in a state to tap out.
Kayla: You could also knock him out from there though.
Sarah: I guess.
Kayla: You just get him bound and then you can use anything else including your fist to knock him out.
Sarah: I don't know. I think-
Kayla: I think you know-
Sarah: I think Hermione would beat Percy, I think Harry wouldn't.
Kayla: So you agree that wizarding power... So it's just Harry that you have a problem with, not a wizard versus a demigod.
Sarah: A demagauge?
Kayla: Whatever. I think you know what you've done and that you...
Sarah: No. I stand by, I think Percy would beat Harry.
Kayla: I think you're wrong.
Sarah: I think Percy would beat Harry. And that's my hot take. The point is that it's hot. This conversation was much more civil than it was last night.
Kayla: That's because our roommate Evan was involved and he had some strong... I tried to get him to come on just for a couple minutes and he was like, "Why would I do that when I know I'm right? I don't need to talk to anyone about it. Sarah, no, she's wrong." And I was like, but come on.
Sarah: All right. I have one more hot take. And it's a reference that... I barely understand my own reference. But I thought of it today and I was like, you know what, I think this is true. I stand by it. Mayonnaise is an instrument. I don't even like SpongeBob. That's a hot take. Hot take, I don't like SpongeBob.
Kayla: I never watched it as a kid because my sister wouldn't let us, so I don't really...
Sarah: But there's a famous thing where he's like, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" And I think it is an instrument, you can make anything an instrument if you just believe. All right, that's all I have to say on my hot takes. Do you have any more?
Kayla: I'm over this episode.
Sarah: You asked for it.
Kayla: I did, but this took a lot more energy out of me than normal episodes and I'm very sleepy.
Sarah: Oh my God. What is your... No, polls first. What's the poll this week?
Kayla: Who would win in a fight?
Sarah: I was thinking that, but I'm afraid of the answers, but okay, who would win in a fight?
Kayla: Are you afraid because you know you're wrong?
Sarah: You were really confident.
Kayla: Who would win in a fight? Harry Potter or Percy Jackson, let me write this down.
Sarah: Yeah, no, that's it. What's your beef of the week?
Kayla: Oh, my beef of the week is, it was raining earlier this week and then it froze and then it thawed and then it froze again.
Sarah: And then it snowed over it.
Kayla: I'm over it.
Sarah: My beef of the week is that I didn't go grocery shopping on Sunday because it was snowing and I didn't want to, but then I ran out of food and now I'm out of food.
Kayla: Well whose fault is that?
Sarah: Mine. My beef of the week is myself.
Kayla: Me.
Sarah: That's not abnormal actually, I should come up with a better beef of the week. Because that's sad. My beef of the week is-
Kayla: I'm not a walking meme.
Sarah: You are a walking meme. My beef of the week is when you put two different shades of the same color on the top of each other. You can find our pole and tell us about your beef of the week or make your arguments for who would win in a MMA fight. On our Twitter @soundsfakepod, we also have a Tumblr, soundsfakepod.tumblr.com. You can email us soundsfakepod@gmail.com or hopefully by the time this is up soundsfakepod.com, which is wildly exciting.
Kayla: It looks... Listen, I'm not a website builder or graphic designer, so be gentle. I made it myself.
Sarah: Yeah. You can also find us on Patreon at patreon.com/sound... Oh Discord, you're Discord. You can find us on Patreon at patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to help us get some money so we can do some merch. Our $2 patrons are Keith McBlaine, Roxanne, Alice is in space, Amy and Austin Siegel. Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Ladrupheny, and Perry Firo. Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa, who can be found on Twitter @dirtyunclekevin and @tessa_m_k. Sarah Jones, did she tell us who she wanted... Okay. Sarah Jones, what do you want us to talk about? And then our anonymous $10 donor, who I'm assuming still wants to promote [inaudible 01:03:08]. And our $15 patron is Nathaniel White, you can find his portfolio online at nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, professional lighting, shit yeah. Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
Kayla: Until then, take good care of your cows.