Ep 102: Word Association
Transcription Details
Customer Name: Sounds Fake But Okay Podcast
Date: September, 29, 2019
Speakers in the Audio File
Speaker 1: Sarah
Speaker 2: Kayla
Episode 102: Word Association
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey what's up hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, words.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: M’arimba?
SARAH: I think you've done that before.
KAYLA: I know, I think I.... can someone like please keep a running list for the love of God? Please?
SARAH: I think you've done Marimba before.
KAYLA: There's this podcast I listen to where some mysterious listener like made a website for them. The podcast is Wonderful and the website is wonderful.fyi and it keeps track of every topic they've ever covered
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: And whose turn it is that week to like go first and like all of this stuff and like why is someone not doing that for me?
SARAH: Yeah. A lot of times people will message us and be like I haven't listened to every episode but like have you talked about this? And I'll be like I fucking have no idea.
KAYLA: I don't know. We should have asked for this before someone listened to the whole thing.
SARAH: Totally. Oh man.
KAYLA: Wait there are two people on Twitter racing right now to see who will finish first.
SARAH: That is true but it's weird to ask them if they're like brand new.
KAYLA: No, I know. Plus, they won't hear this they just started.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: They're going to hear this weeks from now. Hey.
SARAH: Or maybe days.
KAYLA: Maybe days. Depends on how fast the race is. Anyway.
SARAH: Okay. Well, this week what we're talking about.
KAYLA: Can I tell you a text I just got?
SARAH: Yeah sure.
KAYLA: Will y'all play Minecraft with me?
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: That's it. Why?
SARAH: Who's y'all?
KAYLA: Me and someone else from work.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Why would we play Minecraft?
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: I uh next text. What happened to drinking at the bar? I'm going at nine lol. Creating a Minecraft realm at the moment.
SARAH: Okay, interesting.
KAYLA: What the fuck?
SARAH: Welcome to Kayla's world. Anyway, I was going to ask what we're talking about this week but you know what we're talking about this week Kayla?
KAYLA: No. Well yes but no.
SARAH: We are going old school Sounds Fake But Okay.
KAYLA: Which we've been doing a lot lately to be fair.
SARAH: Which we've been doing a lot lately but like this one was especially bad.
KAYLA: Yes, for sure.
SARAH: Like we had to go back and check to make sure we had done enough serious episodes recently to like make sure it was okay to do a really silly one.
KAYLA: Yeah, and we determined it was okay.
SARAH: So, yeah that's what we decided. So, yeah we literally sat here for like… we were like talking about other business things because we're business women.
KAYLA: Because we're business women.
SARAH: And then we sat here for like… I would say at least 15 minutes
KAYLA: Probably yes
SARAH: Not knowing what to talk about.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: So here we are. So, what are we doing Kayla? It was your idea.
KAYLA: I had the brilliant idea that we could just like use a random word generator and like… now I'm being shamed. I'm sorry.
SARAH: Stop texting during the pod.
KAYLA: I'm sorry but I'm being shamed.
SARAH: Be a professional.
KAYLA: Sorry. Um yeah, this is my professional idea. Hi, it's me, a professional. I was like what if we just um like use a random word generator or something and like pick a random word and then we have to relate it back somehow to like asexuality or aromanticism.
SARAH: Somewhere on that uh…
KAYLA: Somewhere there.
SARAH: Ace umbrella, the spectrum.
KAYLA: And that's it. That's the idea.
SARAH: And I was like I'll do you one better. I have a dictionary. It is a big…
KAYLA: A paper one
SARAH: Honkin paper dictionary. It is a German English dictionary. So, we're going to do… if I land on a German word y'all are just going to learn some German unless you speak German fluently in which case you probably already know the word but we're going to go on the golden ratio podcast um the dad gr dad ingo is German and they do a German word of the week so it's like we'll just have like lots of German words this week. So, I'm just going to open this giant dictionary. This is an old dictionary. I got it for my translation class that I did because we needed hard like hard copy dictionaries because you aren't allowed to use computers when you take the test to like become an official translator for the like American Translation Association and my professor was like we're going to do what they do so I had to buy this but I bought like the cheapest one because I was like I'm not going to… I'm mostly going to use the internet, so it is from… it is the completely revised edition, 1995.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: So, it got a lot of words older than me, I mean most words are older than me but…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: All right, are you ready?
KAYLA: I'm so… are you going first?
SARAH: Well, I have to flip it open, I'm not with a book.
KAYLA: I know but I don't are you going to like do first word?
SARAH: You go first.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Or maybe we can work together if we’re struggling
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. The first word is jar. Now this is meant in terms of the verb.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: As in, I was jarred by something.
KAYLA: Oh. That's not even the verb I was thinking of.
SARAH: I mean I think that's the verb it means… yeah, well
KAYLA: It's not like to jar something?
SARAH: What does that mean? What?
KAYLA: Like to put something in a jar.
SARAH: Oh no, it’s not to put something in a jar
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So, go.
KAYLA: So, it's to make someone shook?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Um, I mean I feel like this one is pretty easy.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I feel like a lot of times when someone comes out as aromantic or asexual the person they say that to is shook.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Because they didn't even know.
SARAH: Jarred if you will.
KAYLA: Jarred if you will because they didn't even know that was a thing because no one educates anyone enough
SARAH: That's true. Wow that was too easy. Okay. I'll do the next one.
KAYLA: That was too easy, okay.
SARAH: We got reborn.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Wiedergeboren. That was a bad accent. Wiedergeboren. Now I'm like really questioning my pronunciation in German.
KAYLA: You're going to get slammed by all our German listeners.
SARAH: Wiedergeboren. Sorry. I've been told my accent is okay, so.
KAYLA: I did see that.
SARAH: Reborn. Sometimes when people learn about asexuality and they discover that these feelings that they've felt all their life, other people have felt, and that they're not crazy slash alone, they feel as though they've been reborn. And now they're a new person who understands themselves.
KAYLA: These are too easy.
SARAH: But they're still…
KAYLA: Or maybe we're too good.
SARAH: Maybe we're too good. Let me. Okay, next one.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Circulation.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: There we go. That's a hard one.
KAYLA: See, I will tell you though the first thing my mind went to, you're not going to like it.
SARAH: Is it circumcision?
KAYLA: No. But you're still not going to like it. Close actually.
SARAH: What is it?
KAYLA: Um well no. Well, I guess I'll just tell you where I first went and then we can workshop it I guess.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: So, where my mind first went was you know when a dick is doing its thing.
SARAH: Oh god.
KAYLA: The blood goes to it. Blood circulation.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But now we have to turn that around because no.
SARAH: Yeah, well the way based off of the German, the German words it's giving me, it's giving me Kreislauf. Zirkulatiohn. Zirkulatiohn would be physiological but Kreislauf which is the first one is like it literally means like going in a circle like you know like less physiological more rhetorical.
KAYLA: Circular.
SARAH: Yeah, so what do you got?
KAYLA: Um I mean the circle of life and how… huh I spoke too soon.
SARAH: Yeah, this is what you get for saying it was easy.
KAYLA: You also said it was easy.
SARAH: Yeah, but you said it first.
KAYLA: Oh okay.
SARAH: Future me while editing is going to hate this. Come on you got to be faster.
KAYLA: You got to help me.
SARAH: Circulation. Oh god. I'm just thinking about libraries. Okay, libraries have circulation desks and if you go to a circulation desk at a library and say hey, I'd like to learn about asexuality they might not be able to help you because it's not widely known about in the world.
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: This is turning into a depressing one.
SARAH: And we can change the world by telling all of our local librarians about asexuality.
KAYLA: Okay that was a stretch but I'll take it.
SARAH: Okay the next one is, legend.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Legend as in not like a person but like this legend.
KAYLA: Like a story?
SARAH: Like a story, yeah.
KAYLA: Um well, this is yours.
SARAH: Oh, you're right, I just did that last one for you.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: As a story listen there are a lot of legends, myths, things that people say about sexuality. There was Adam and Eve and that's how the world was made. Guess what? Them is bullshit. Those legends were made by people who were not informed. Hi this is Sarah from the future. I'm in an airport so this audio might suck but as I was editing, I realized that it sounded like I was making a judgment call on religion. I wasn't talking about religion at all I was just talking about heteronormativity and the idea that it's just a man and a woman and that's how it's supposed to be. No religious anything here. Thank you. Okay bye. So, hoe make yourself a new legend about sexuality. Nothing is real. It's all fluid. Nothing matters. This got nihilistic.
KAYLA: Can I tell you mine for legend?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Well, you mentioned myths, and I was like that one goddess woman?
SARAH: Artemis.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Yes, my queen.
KAYLA: Is asexual.
SARAH: What a queen.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: All right good okay. Bound but in the sense of so like in German it says um unterwegs which is like on your way so like if I were going to London, I would be like London bound you know.
KAYLA: Ah yes. I think that you know
SARAH: Hmm.
KAYLA: It has been a long day of work and I didn't think that this would be so hard.
SARAH: It was your idea.
KAYLA: I know and I don't know why I thought this would be better than this.
SARAH: I mean, if you hadn't come up with it we would probably still be trying to figure out what to talk about this week.
KAYLA: That's true. Okay, bound as in going somewhere.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: I think asexual people are just you know they're going somewhere.
SARAH: Wow, I'm really… I'm better at this than you. So, the wonderful wonderful person who came up with the hashtag this is what asexual looks like uh lives in London and I would love to be London bound to collaborate with her but alas I'm not.
KAYLA: Wow you… okay fine.
SARAH: I'm better at this than you, okay. Macaroni.
KAYLA: Oh yeah okay let's hear how you're better at this than me. Okay
SARAH: Macaroni. Macaroni and cheese is delicious but some people may not like macaroni and cheese and to me those people are goddamn crazy but I also have to respect that they just simply don't like macaroni and cheese and that is like asexuality. You may not understand why a person is the way they are but just respect them. You have your macaroni and cheese and they'll eat their French toast. Why did I say it like that? French toast. Uh oh yeah, you're fucking weird uh. You can eat…
KAYLA: You just said that you should respect someone.
SARAH: But you don't like French toast. Okay you're right okay. Uh you can… what do you want to eat you want to eat some pizza?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay, you can eat your pizza.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: And some people might put macaroni on their pizza which…
KAYLA: And that would be good
SARAH: Is a thing that some people do sometimes but I'm not into that.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I want my macaroni and my pizza to be separate. I told you I'm better at this than you. Star as in like star like a star in the sky.
KAYLA: Um man I'm really bad at this.
SARAH: You really are I'm going to make you do this one by yourself.
KAYLA: Okay and I will. The last time I didn't ask for help, I'll let it be known you just jumped in you took it.
SARAH: Yeah, because you were taking too long and I knew that future me while editing this would be like annoyed.
KAYLA: Well sucks because now I'm doing this one by myself.
SARAH: For… okay, I'll have all of you know who are listening that when there are super long gaps and when Kayla says um a lot, I cut it out and so the gaps you have heard so far were actually much shorter than they were in real life. You're welcome.
KAYLA: That's fair. Okay star as in a sun in the sky. Okay listen so we see the stars like far away and we're like that's a star but we see our own sun and we're like that's a sun but really it's a star which is confusing and things have different names and sometimes things don't make sense when they're close to you or far away like sexuality and that's okay you just have to like flow with it and it's fine.
SARAH: Sometimes sexuality is far away from you.
KAYLA: That's fine.
SARAH: Okay. Clump. All right. So, the German word is klumpen.
KAYLA: That's a good one.
SARAH: Yep. The halberlumpen one is einen Kloß im Hals haben. That’s fun
KAYLA: All I can think of is like my humps. My humps, my humps, my humps.
SARAH: Okay, okay, actually good. My humps by Fergie. My lovely lady lumps as she discusses her boobs is kind of a pretty sexual song, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah, I'd say.
SARAH: And she's talking about how men be attracted to her humps, her humps, her humps, her humps. But not all people feel that way. And you know what?
KAYLA: Fine.
SARAH: Asexuality. Next. Okay, I found a word that I don't know what it means.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Diathermy? And you know what it is in German?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Diathermie
KAYLA: I’m going to need you to look that one up for me.
SARAH: Yeah, I don't know what that means. Okay, let's go. Diathermy, it's a medical and surgical technique involving the production of heat in a part of the body by high frequency electric currents to stimulate the circulation, relieve pain, destroy unhealthy tissue, or cause bleeding vessels to clot.
KAYLA: Okay, so this is like a healing situation.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: A lot of times people of sexualities that are not straight feel like they're broken or that like something is wrong with them, but then when they find their community or find like who they truly are it just gives them this power back of like healing and they understand themselves and it might not happen fast. It might be a painful journey, but you'll get there and it'll be okay and you'll….
SARAH: Good use of the word.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: Penny, as in like the one cent.
KAYLA: Okay, yeah. See I have one for this, this is dumb.
SARAH: Penny, listen, pennies, all I can think of is how John Green hates pennies and how they're useless and how Canada got rid of them and also America should get rid of them because they cost way more money to produce than. I have a bunch of pennies. I have a bunch of pennies in my wallet right now and I don't know what to do with them because pennies are basically useless.
KAYLA: Yeah, you can't use those ones for laundry.
SARAH: No, and I was like I have a bunch of coins. I will pay for my parking with coins this time and then I was like these are all fucking pennies. The machine doesn't accept pennies.
KAYLA: So, like do you have anything or?
SARAH: Sometimes you feel angry about something. For example, the existence of pennies. And sometimes other people feel angry about the existence of your sexuality. But although being angry about pennies is perfectly justified, being angry about someone's sexuality is not. Thank you for your time.
KAYLA: See, mine was going to be that pennies are like not that necessary.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: And neither is sex.
SARAH: I love it.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: Okay, we're going to go right to the beginning of the alphabet. Oh, this is the contents. That's not helpful. Thank you. Stop telling me. Okay, administer.
SARAH: As in to like give? Yeah… I love that word.
KAYLA: Administer. We are with this fine professional podcast administering the good word of our asexual lord.
SARAH: Who's that?
KAYLA: Christine Sidelko.
SARAH: That's so true. Merry Christmas.
KAYLA: Merry…
SARAH: Merry Chrysler
KAYLA: And that's mine, so.
SARAH: Cool. Now let's go to the very end of the alphabet, verge. As in like the good answer on the verge of something
KAYLA: I like when you were trying to explain what word it is to me that you say the German one as if that's going to help me at all.
SARAH: It helps me. It helps our listeners who might be able to speak German.
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: Shouts out to you, Luca, and I know there are others, but.
KAYLA: Wow, way to play favorites with our German listeners.
SARAH: Well, our other German listeners can message us, and then I'll shout them out too.
KAYLA: They did. One emailed you and you haven't responded yet.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Oh no, I don't… sorry, Kayla is the one who looks at the….
KAYLA: I told you about it.
SARAH: I forgot.
KAYLA: Oh no, mom and mom are fighting on the podcast.
SARAH: I'll answer by the time this podcast comes out and that person will be like, well, great. Okay, verge. Sometimes you feel like you're on the verge of crying because people are being aphobic, but you know what? Just punch them and you'll feel better.
KAYLA: And then make them eat their own foot skin.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Callback.
SARAH: Callback. Okay, the next one. Non-cooperation.
KAYLA: That's a word? That's a weird tense, I feel like.
SARAH: Um, it's hyphenated.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Also, this is 1995. Anything could have happened in 1995.
KAYLA: Um, okay. Um, non-cooperation. Sometimes you might feel like your brain is not cooperating with you because you might be confused and you might see like other people having like romantic relationships and you're like, I don't understand that. Or like you might not be able to tell the difference between like a platonic and a romantic feeling and your brain just like isn't cooperating with you. But like that's okay.
SARAH: Yeah, your brain is doing its best. We're all just doing our best.
KAYLA: Don't think of it, as not cooperating with you. It's just doing its thing. And no one ever said that it had to be able to tell a difference between those two things except society, which isn't real.
SARAH: That's so true and fuck what society wants.
KAYLA: Indeed.
SARAH: I was kind of distracted as you were saying that because I looked at the top of this page and you know how it says like the first word and the last word on the page?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: So, this page is non compass mentis, whatever that is, seems Latin, through noodle.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: Okay. Foot and mouth disease.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: Which in German is Maul-und Klauenseuche.
KAYLA: Fun.
SARAH: Foot and mouth disease ball. What?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Fußball? Fußballspiel? What? Oh, I see. It's foot and then the first entry is and mouth disease and then it's football.
KAYLA: Oh my God. Wow what a combo.
SARAH: Okay. Well, I don't really know that much about foot and mouth disease. What is it?
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: I don't know that I want to know. Can I do football instead?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I'm going to do football instead. So.
KAYLA: Wow so you think you're so much better than me that you won't even take on the challenge of foot and mouth disease.
SARAH: I don't want to look it up. I don't want to know what it is and you already did one that has to do with like illness and healing.
KAYLA: Fine.
SARAH: Okay football. Listen some people prefer to use the word football to refer to the sport that involves a ball that you kick with your feet and no tackling. Some people prefer to use the word soccer. It really just depends on you. Some people refer to be very specific in the terms they call themselves. Some people just like the word queer. It just depends on what is best for you. Foot and mouth disease can be healed by asexuality.
KAYLA: Okay, all right.
SARAH: That's untrue. I'm just going to clarify, have it on the record, that's untrue. Okay.
KAYLA: I mean it was said on a podcast.
SARAH: Yeah, everything that's said on a podcast is true.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Apoplectic.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Apoplectic.
KAYLA: Uh, what?
SARAH: It's like a type of stroke you can have. Hold on.
KAYLA: Well, oh, so now I have to do a medical thing?
SARAH: All right, fine. Boat.
KAYLA: Sometimes life feels like you're on a boat. There's ups and there's downs, and you might vomit some, but like in the end it's worth it and it's fine.
SARAH: Okay, it sounds good.
KAYLA: I don't want so much asexuality, it's just life.
SARAH: Life. Asexuality, life, it's all the same.
KAYLA: Yeah, sure.
SARAH: Hammer face
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I don’t know what that means. The German isn't helping me here.
KAYLA: Wow, shocking.
SARAH: Is that like an insult or is that like oh there's a character in Lilo and Stitch. It's an old scary look. What the hell? Oh, oh these people on Urban Dictionary don't know how to spell heroin.
KAYLA: Oh, I'm finding nothing…. Is it just like the face of a hammer?
SARAH: Yeah, I think it's…
KAYLA: Like the front flat part.
SARAH: Yeah, I think this, according to Urban Dictionary, which as we know is very reliable, says hammer face is that old scary look that Harion, because they can't spell heroin, addicts develop over time. Beautiful smooth bodies and ugly old scary hammer faces.
KAYLA: What the fuck?
SARAH: Refers to the old name for heroin, which was hammer, but this person can't spell heroin, so they're really reliable. Um, okay, listen. Sometimes… I'm just going to go, because when I looked it up, I found um, Stitch from Lilo and Stitch with his face like, as a hammer.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: And I think I prefer that, because I don't totally understand what the other one means. So, listen. Sometimes you feel like a hammer-faced Stitch. You're trying to hit the nail of what your sexuality is, but it takes time and practice and eventually you'll do it. Or maybe you won't, and that's okay. You're still a good hammer. Okay
KAYLA: That was great.
SARAH: Thank you. I just got one that was on the same page as one of the ones we've already done, so I'm just going to go to another page.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Domino.
KAYLA: Like as in the game thing?
SARAH: Yeah, like as in a domino.
KAYLA: Okay, so when you play dominoes, you have to like fit them together, right? Of like the one goes with the one, and the two goes with the two. But other times when you play with dominoes, you like stack them up and you like crumple them over.
SARAH: Crumple?
KAYLA: And so sometimes…
SARAH: Dominoes don't crumple.
KAYLA: And so sometimes your sexuality like fits together very neatly and you get it, and you're like this fits together neatly. And other times you have to do a lot of work of like stacking and then pushing and then crumpling, but they're both good ways to play with dominoes.
SARAH: They are. And it's just the luck of the draw as to whether you get dominoes that you are able to fit easily together or not.
KAYLA: And to be honest, when you stack them up and crumple them, it does take a long time, but it is more satisfying at the end.
SARAH: It really is. I hate that you're using the word crumple. It's just knocking over dominoes.
KAYLA: They're crumpling?
SARAH: Crumpling is like a piece of paper that gets crumpled into a ball. Dominoes are like, what material are they? They're like ceramic.
KAYLA: You know, you just had this thing about like some people like to call something one thing and some people like to call it another thing and you said that was fine.
SARAH: But that is just not the definition of crumple.
KAYLA: Well, in the book…
SARAH: To crumple is to crush something, typically paper or cloth, so that it becomes creased and wrinkled. You cannot crumple a ceramic domino. You could like shatter one, but you can't crumple it.
KAYLA: Hold on, I'm looking something up.
SARAH: Even if a domino is like plastic, you can't crumple it. You could melt it.
KAYLA: In the novel Frindle.
SARAH: Oh my god. An incredible book.
KAYLA: In the novel Frindle, it used to be a pen and then they changed it to a Frindle, so I don't want to hear about it.
SARAH: Okay, okay, that wasn't as…
KAYLA: Why wasn't that turned into a movie?
SARAH: That wasn't as well supported as I was hoping it was going to be. I think you're wrong. Okay. Helmet. Oh, it's me, right?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I'm looking at the cover of Frindle. 6.5 million copies sold.
SARAH: Yeah, it was a good book. You need to stop.
KAYLA: It was a good book
SARAH: Okay. Helmet. Sometimes life is dangerous. You're on a motorcycle and you might fall because you hit someone who's aphobic and… But the community is your helmet. It's helping to protect you and even if you hit an aphobic person and go flying off of your motorcycle, your community helmet will protect you.
KAYLA: Is it a community helmet as in like you share it? It's like it's a time share helmet?
SARAH: No, that's not at all what I mean. I mean the helmet represents the Ace-SPEC community.
KAYLA: So, you're just like a bunch of people are wrapped around your head like a helmet?
SARAH: It's a metaphor.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It's not literal.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Oh, dear god.
KAYLA: I'd like to bring up one more thing about Frindle while we're here.
SARAH: Jesus Christ.
KAYLA: I was reading the synopsis apparently the teacher in the book had x-ray vision. I don't remember this.
SARAH: I mean that same guy wrote a lot of books that I read as a small person.
KAYLA: I do not remember this.
SARAH: And he wrote a book about this um electric like heated blanket that turned you invisible. That was a good one.
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: I just like the whole book is about this kid just like renaming the name of a pen to piss off his teacher but apparently the teacher also had x-ray vision.
SARAH: Who was the author again?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: You have literally just looked it up.
KAYLA: It's… now I have to look it up again. Andrew Clements
SARAH: Clements. Yeah. I… what a guy.
KAYLA: Oh, what a weird looking man.
SARAH: Don't be mean.
KAYLA: His middle name is Elborn.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Facts for Frindle friends. Frindle fans.
SARAH: Close the tab.
KAYLA: You told me to open it back up.
SARAH: Close the goddamn tab.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Can make a Frindle fan cast.
SARAH: I saw one word and then I saw another word that seemed more interesting. So, we're going to do both. The first one is sing. we should do them together. Okay. The first one is sing. The second one is sinew. Like…
KAYLA: What's that?
SARAH: Musculatory. Like the… um it has to do with your muscles. It's like what connects stuff.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Here, I'll look up the actual definition. The problem is that since this is not an actual dictionary, I have to keep googling things. It's a piece of tough fibrous tissue uniting muscle to bone or bone to bone a tendon or a ligament. It's a tendon or a ligament.
KAYLA: Fun.
SARAH: Okay. Sometimes you want to sing the praises of your Ace-spec identity to the world but you don't have any sinew in your body.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And… yeah, I don't know how to do these two together.
KAYLA: No okay. In order to sing you need sinew in your body probably.
SARAH: Uh you need vocal cords. I don't know that there's sinew involved in vocal cords is there?
KAYLA: I don't even know what sinew really is still.
SARAH: Do vocal cords have sinew?
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Uh I mean it looks like there's a tendon somewhere.
KAYLA: Okay no I've changed my mind.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Some may think that in order to sing you need sinew and they're wrong maybe and…
SARAH: They might be right or they might be wrong
KAYLA: And no, they're just wrong and similarly some people think that you have to have sex and they're wrong for sure this time.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: We're scientists.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Uh I'm going to go to the German part of the dictionary.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: Glaubensartikel. It's an article of faith.
KAYLA: Like a Bible?
SARAH: Like a like a creed or like it could be a Bible it's like something that you… my understanding is that it's something that you like follow in your life.
KAYLA: All right.
SARAH: It's your turn.
KAYLA: Oh, I just did the other one so good.
SARAH: Yeah, well too bad. You have to do it in German also. That was really good German.
KAYLA: What did I say?
SARAH: You said and then you said…
KAYLA: Did I really say and? That's fun.
SARAH: Kind of. It sounded close enough that I accepted it.
KAYLA: That’s pretty exciting. Thank you. Um what I really said in German, I can't believe you couldn't tell this is what I was saying, was that wait what was the word again?
SARAH: Glaubensartikel, like an article of faith.
KAYLA: Yeah. In ace culture some people have a black ring that they wear which I feel like is kind of like that.
SARAH: I don't think you interpreted that word correctly but I'll accept it anyway.
KAYLA: It's fine.
SARAH: Okay. I don't know. I just got stressed. Saftig, which means juicy or succulent.
KAYLA: Ew. Gross.
SARAH: Some people find that… no I'm not.
KAYLA: No, I know where you're going.
SARAH: Yeah, I don't want to say it. Okay we're going to… to not say that. Okay. You know what? On this podcast we have big juice.
KAYLA: Oh, see this was what I was going to do. That’s good
SARAH: We have the things that we love and sometimes the things that love… that we love and make us happy are not what other people's things are and sometimes we love things in a different manner than other people and that's okay. I was supposed to do that in German, wasn't I?
KAYLA: I don't I guess I don't know.
SARAH: Manchmal in der Leben. Now, I'm really stressed because I know people listen to this who speak German so I'm going to stop.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Oh, das Leben…
KAYLA: So far, oh boy
SARAH: Okay I'm being a little bit more picky with the German ones because I want words that I at least sort of understand. Okay. Okay this one is like a phrase but it's Sache Verlustig Gehen which is like to forfeit something.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: It's your turn.
KAYLA: Um can you hear my cat chewing in the background?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: She is. Um.
SARAH: Maybe the listeners can but I can't.
KAYLA: Probably not because they can't even hear, uh to forfeit something.
SARAH: Choo choo.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Choo choo.
KAYLA: Oh boy. Oh my. Um…
SARAH: To forfeit
KAYLA: To forfeit something. Sometimes when people forfeit they wave the white flag.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: And you take flag and you think what else flag pride flag what kind the ace.
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: For this last one I'm looking for something.
KAYLA: Okay that's cheating.
SARAH: The thing that I'm looking for is to see if asexuality is in here.
KAYLA: Oh well that's an easy one.
SARAH: Q or S. S is before T god damn it.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Um because I know in German it's Asexualität but I bet it's not in here. This is from like…
KAYLA: It’s like a 1995 Bible. What oh no.
SARAH: Um I mean… like asexually producing plants but I don't know what that is in German I could look at the English part. Um asexual biological asexual. I think it means like asexually reproducing.
KAYLA: That's fine.
SARAH: Uh but it is there. Yeah, I think it means like plants. It is there though. All right I've closed the dictionary.
KAYLA: Oh my.
SARAH: What's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: I'm just like still thinking about like the moment where I said like three words in German and now I'm like… people were like Sarah you should do a podcast in German. I would get so stressed.
KAYLA: If you give us one million dollars.
SARAH: I could do it. I would just need to prepare a lot.
KAYLA: And I would just sit here the whole time.
SARAH: And not know what I was saying.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I would just get really stressed because I know that some of the people who listen are like fluent in German and they would just be judging me.
KAYLA: I don't think they'd be judging you, they're nicer than that.
SARAH: Ich glaube dass sie würde das machen.
KAYLA: I watched a YouTube video of this couple and one was German and one was Korean and then they spoke to each other in those languages the whole day.
SARAH: Ich glaube dass ich hab das schon gesehen.
KAYLA: What if you just speak French to me in your limited French knowledge and my also now limited French knowledge since it has been several years since I've taken it and you just started taking it.
SARAH: Ich kann fast nichts auf Französisch sagen.
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Je m'appelle Sarah.
KAYLA: Ah, oui. There's also French people that listen to this.
SARAH: Podcast ici, Kayla.
KAYLA: What? Podcast here, Kayla?
SARAH: Oh, goddammit. Ici is here. Avec. Podcast avec Kayla.
KAYLA: My name is Sarah. Podcast with Kayla.
SARAH: Yes. That's about the extent of my French knowledge.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: I was trying to display my French knowledge to our friend Miranda the other day, and I was talking about a croissant who liked to dance. But I…
KAYLA: Could I hear some of that?
SARAH: No. But I couldn't know how to say, like, like? So, I had to ask her, so she had to tell me.
KAYLA: Why did you need the word like?
SARAH: Because I wanted her to say that croissant liked to dance.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Je m'appelle Sarah.
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Tu s'appelle Kayla.
KAYLA: Uh-huh. Nous s'appelle. Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: I was trying to say that, but I couldn't remember how to say we.
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: Listen, I'm… listen, Duolingo is free, and that's why I use it, but it's not always the most like systematic in the way it teaches you a language.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. What's our poll for this week? Is Sarah better at this than Kayla? Yes or yes.
KAYLA: That's mean.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Yes or no.
KAYLA: That's so mean. Don't pit that… we agreed that we would never do a poll that pitted us against each other because we're too scared to see the results.
SARAH: That's true, was this video stupid? Was this video god damn it?
KAYLA: Yes, because it's not a video. What was one of the words we did? I don't remember.
SARAH: Ici
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: That was me umming in German, just so you know.
KAYLA: Foot and mouth disease.
SARAH: Foot and mouth disease.
KAYLA: No or no.
SARAH: Fantastisch.
KAYLA: Maybe ask, well ask the people, relate foot and mouth disease back to asexuality.
SARAH: Please. I guess I'll have to learn what foot and mouth disease is. Okay. Cool. What is your beef and juice this week?
KAYLA: No, you go first.
SARAH: Okay, because I did prepare. Okay, beef. My beef is um, when you move back to your hometown and you only have like one friend who lives in your hometown and the vast majority of your friends all live at least an hour away, and you get really lonely. And then that's like not good for your mental health. So, then you have to go to Ann Arbor to see your friends just because like you only have one friend at home and your friends have to do homework. So, you just sit there watching videos on your phone while they're doing homework, but it still makes you feel better because you just need to be with humans. Because also your parents are out of town right now and you are literally just in your house alone.
KAYLA: You could come to Connecticut.
SARAH: With what money?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: My juice, which I all came up with today after I saw Friends and now feel more like a human being, was okay, there's a song from a musical. The title of the musical is in French. I don't know if I can pronounce it right. I'm afraid. Okay, you know the song I Am What I Am?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: It's a bop, but the musical is from… has a French name and I'm afraid of saying it. I've already made a fool of myself in French. But specifically, the Douglas Hodge version, it's very good. And there's a part where he's like, he says, sometimes the ace is, and I'm like, I'm an ace is. Also, other juice, the Emmy acceptance speeches of Michelle Williams, Alex Borcene, and Billy Porter, all great. Another juice, the way I feel after watching a really good Captain Marvel fan video, like I'm like ready to like punch a man in the face. My last juice is Greta Thunberg.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Just, she's wonderful. What's your beef and juice?
KAYLA: My beef is, it is very hot in my apartment and last week it was like really nice and cool and then it got hot again and I'm mad, which means I am sticky and sticky. And also, I think I'm getting sick and so my throat hurts and I want to drink a hot beverage and the only hot beverage I like is hot cider and I do have cider but my apartment is hot and so I don't want to drink a hot beverage because I'll get hot but I do want it.
SARAH: You did because you texted me saying that you were drinking hot cider in your hot apartment.
KAYLA: I did but now I want… and I was sitting right in front of a fan while I did it
SARAH: Good
KAYLA: But now I want more but like it's even hotter in my apartment because I had to close my window and turn off my fan.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Um, Juice is, I'm going back to Michigan soon.
SARAH: Yay, yay
KAYLA: To visit. We might record an episode together.
SARAH: In person.
KAYLA: In person for the first time in forever which is wild.
SARAH: For the first time in forever.
KAYLA: In forever
SARAH: Oh, that doesn't work, see if we were in person we could sing it together.
KAYLA: Next, when we're together we will.
SARAH: Finally understand. Are you Elsa or am I Elsa? Because I literally played Elsa in a musical.
KAYLA: I know but by going by what we usually do when we sing duets is I would be Elsa.
SARAH: I feel like I would be Anna, yeah.
KAYLA: By what we usually go by.
SARAH: Right. Also, neither of us are Idina Menzel so.
KAYLA: Are you sure?
SARAH: You're Idina Menzel. Oh my god.
KAYLA: You haven't seen me in a while, I've been close to New York.
SARAH: Oh my god I'm so happy for you.
KAYLA: Thank you. My other juice is that I'm Idina Menzel. Um
SARAH: Your other juice is that you're Idina Menzel?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Actually, her name is Adele Duzim.
KAYLA: That's so true. My other juice is Great British Bake Off which I feel like because it was my juice last week.
SARAH: I watched some of that with my parents.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's coming out weekly now which is like hard because I want to binge it but also good because it's coming out only three days after it does in the UK which is exciting.
SARAH: La Cage aux Folles? Fuck I'm trying to say.
KAYLA: La Cage aux Folles. Did I get it?
SARAH: I'm just trying to say it in French. I'll text it to you. Not that you're…
KAYLA: You're trying to say the Great British Bake Off in French?
SARAH: Oh no I'm just trying to say the name of the musical.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Still thinking about it.
KAYLA: Okay I think that's it. Those are all my things.
SARAH: Here's… wait another beef. Now that we've mentioned that I'm trying to learn French here's the thing, with German you pronounce every letter of every word.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: French is the exact opposite of that.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: And I'm getting better at it but like what the fuck? Like my instinct is when I look at a language that's not English is to pronounce every single letter and then French is like you will pronounce two of these letters.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I texted it to you what does it say?
KAYLA: I mean, I'm not any better at reading French than you are.
SARAH: But you did French for several years.
KAYLA: Uh, la cage aux folles.
SARAH: Folles? I trouble, I tend to have trouble with the double L sometimes.
KAYLA: I mean you definitely don't say that S that's for sure.
SARAH: Yeah, you never say the S.
KAYLA: I would, my guess is folle.
SARAH: Folle? Folle? Also, my instinct is to go German accent and that doesn't work in French.
KAYLA: No French because you got… it's a lot of ee.
SARAH: Yeah. It's so weird that German and French are I feel like such different languages given that the countries are right next to each other.
KAYLA: It is weird
SARAH: Like German to Dutch yeah okay pretty similar. German to French very different.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: But in like Strasbourg they kind of speak like a mix of German and French and now I'm kind of curious. Anyway. Greta Thunberg is great. Thunberg. I thought there was an R in her name until like yesterday.
KAYLA: Oh good.
SARAH: I mean she has several R's in her name but I thought there was another one. Okay did we do everything?
KAYLA: No, we didn't do anything.
SARAH: You are so right. If you want to not do anything with us you can find us @SoundsFakePod on all social media. We also have a Patreon if you want to support us patreon.com/soundsfake… I almost said sounds fake media soundsfakepod.
KAYLA: I was literally thinking about the name sounds fake media this morning.
SARAH: Well, we've discussed this we can't do it because it would sound like fake news.
KAYLA: No, I know but it's weird because I literally was thinking about that this morning for some reason.
SARAH: Yeah, if we ever start a media company what should we call it because we can't call it sounds fake media because of fucking Trump.
KAYLA: I think it should be okay media, that's very funny to me.
SARAH: Oh yeah, we have discussed that okay media.
KAYLA: That one is funny to me.
SARAH: Yeah. Patreon our $2 patrons are Keith McBlaine, Roxanne, AliceisinSpace who speaks French, help me Alice, Anonymous, Mariah Walzer, Jonathan, Christopher T Verdieri, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Ninny, Courtney Jones, and Zach Spoonamore. Hi Zach welcome to this fun time.
KAYLA: Spoon
SARAH: Your last name is very fun. $5 patrons, Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinecota, Austin Lenny, Drew Finney, Peri Fiero, my aunt Jeannie, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, Ryan Lutzietti, Book Marvel, and Changeling MX. That's Changeling today.
KAYLA: Oh, um, mine is the sound of a slamming door because it’s what one of my neighbors are doing right now.
SARAH: Cool. $10 patrons, Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin @Tessa_M_K, Arkness who'd like to promote Trevor Project, Benjamin Ibarra who'd like to promote tabletop games, Anonymous who'd like to promote Halloween, Sarah McCoy who'd like to promote podcast from a planet weird. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White, Nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who'd like to promote free mom hugs, Sarah Jones @Eternal Lolly Everywhere, and Dragonfly.
KAYLA: We also have a new Patreon perk.
SARAH: We do. Kayla, tell them all about it.
KAYLA: If you are a $20 patron, you get all the things which is your name read, and you get to promote something, and you get to choose an episode topic, and you get a sticker of your choice.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: And we send it to you.
SARAH: That's true. Or you could just buy one of our stickers. Designedbyhumans.com/shop/soundsfakepod?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Or just go to our website and click on shop.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Me and Kayla just got some merch, and when we see each other, we're going to take some pictures of us in that merch.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: So, get ready for that in like two weeks. A little over one week by the time this comes out.
KAYLA: Is it going to get shipped by then?
SARAH: Yeah. It said it’s coming September 30th and October 1st.
KAYLA: Oh, fun.
SARAH: Okay. Anyway, thank you for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]