Ep 314: The Don't Should Philosophy
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, Don't Should.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to pod after a non-expected week-long break
KAYLA: Hold on
SARAH: I’m looking at Kayla’s armpit
KAYLA: Sorry. My desk is in front of a window now, and I was like, maybe if I put the blinds down, it'll help…
SARAH: It'll help.
KAYLA: Ever so slightly with the echo. Probably not, but we can dream.
SARAH: We can dream. How was your week off, Kayla?
KAYLA: Not good.
SARAH: He he
KAYLA: He he he. Yes, apologies to everyone for the unexpected break. I had a very crazy work week where I was going into work at 7am every day and coming back at like maybe 7 and then eating and then going to bed and then doing it again. And then I was also moving in the middle of that. And that is not something I would recommend.
SARAH: Because you live in Boston and they're fucking unhinged there.
KAYLA: The thing about Boston is that everyone moves on the same day, and it's a nightmare.
SARAH: The entire moves on the same day
KAYLA: Yeah. Unless you're smart and have not a lease that starts that… but, yeah
SARAH: But everyone has a lease that starts September 1st.
KAYLA: Pretty much, yeah. So yeah, that's cool.
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: But now I've moved, and so if my audio sounds really bad this week, it's because my office is basically just a bunch of boxes and I don't have any like rugs or any soundproofing solutions in place.
SARAH: Great. If my audio sounds worse, it's because I refused to turn off the AC for sound reasons because it is currently 8:34pm and a clean 97 degrees Fahrenheit.
KAYLA: What happened? Like why did it get hot there all of a sudden?
SARAH: Los Angeles.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: I mean, it is like a heatwave, but…
KAYLA: I just feel like it came out of nowhere.
SARAH: We're still in hot season. Hot season will last until October.
KAYLA: That's crazy. It's starting to cool down here, which is nice, not good but I suppose, but
SARAH: That's 36 degrees Celsius for the class, at this here 8:35pm, it's been dark for an hour.
KAYLA: That's disgusting.
SARAH: He he. He he he he. Yeah, it's supposed to be in the 90s until after midnight.
KAYLA: Gross
SARAH: Anyway, uh, do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: I can't think of any. There's probably something.
SARAH: Great. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, we are talking about don't shoulding because I'll give you the reason. Should we define it?
SARAH: Put me with it.
KAYLA: Should I give it? I'll give the reason first.
SARAH: Sure.
KAYLA: I was at work yesterday, as one is, and...
SARAH: Likely place for you to be.
KAYLA: Likely place for me to be. And here's, first of all, the lovely woman who works the front desk in my office was unexpectedly out yesterday, so I had to work the front desk. And it was the second day of school. So, there was a lot of students coming in with many questions. And I had work to do, but then I was at the front desk, so I was having to help people. And then I have coworkers that really love to yap, which is great, because I also love to yap, and they're very nice. And I've had several coworkers be like, oh my God, you’re like, you're so fun to talk to. I just love talking to you. And I'm like, oh my God, thank you so much. I'm such a delightful person. However, I have work to do and people are yapping at me and people keep coming in for help. So, I'm getting nothing done. I'm very stressed out. Anyway, all this to say, I was sitting at the front and one of my coworkers came to yap with me and we were talking about friends we have in relationships, I guess. And somehow it came up that she has a friend who he thinks that his wife is a lesbian and they've been married for a long time and have three kids. And for some reason, that conversation turned out into her being like, yeah, I always tell people in my life, don't say should, you shouldn't should about things. And I was like, that's so crazy because me and my friend have the same.
SARAH: But how do you… do I have a book for you?
KAYLA: Well, I didn't get into that because I was like, that's too much right now. I'm trying to work and it would be keep yapping. But I was like, that's so crazy because me and my friend have a whole saying about don't should and it's a whole thing. And so then I was thinking, well.
SARAH: I can't believe you didn't use this as an opportunity to sell a copy of our book.
KAYLA: Here's the thing…
SARAH: I need the $1 that I would get from that.
KAYLA: I know. Here's the thing is because she probably would have bought it because she's a reader and she's just like very nice and she seems just like interested in learning about new topics and stuff. But it would have just opened up a whole like 30-minute conversation that I like just could not be having at that time.
SARAH: Just like message it to her. No context. Here's a book you might find interesting.
KAYLA: Ignore the name on the front cover. Not me.
SARAH: Not me.
KAYLA: I don't know who that bitch is. We'll see. Maybe I will.
SARAH: Do we each make a dollar from each book sale or do we make a dollar combined?
KAYLA: I think we each make a dollar. But if someone were to buy it through our link on bookshop.org, we'd make like an additional dollar or two each.
SARAH: Yeaahhh
KAYLA: Which is a great reminder. Here's some housekeeping, if you want to buy a book from bookshop.org, you could go to...
SARAH: No, no, no, no, no. If you want to buy a book, period. Go to bookshop.org.
KAYLA: Okay, yes. If you want to buy a book, period, go to bookshop.org because it's a website that supports indie bookstores and like individual creators. So, you can buy...
SARAH: But specifically...
KAYLA: Us?
SARAH: Specifically. No. Specifically go through our link.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah.
SARAH: Don't just go to bookshop.org.
KAYLA: No. Yes.
SARAH: Go to bookshop.org slash...
KAYLA: I don't know. I don't know what it is. I'll look it up. But you could find it if you went to our social media and went to our link tree. It'd be in there. But hold on. Okay. While I find that, yes, you could go and you can buy any book through our link or you can look at the lists we have. I have a list of a bunch of books with canonically aspec characters. So, you could do that. Sarah is making a face. I think it's because my internet is bad. It is. That is what the face is about.
SARAH: Oh. Yeah. Hi.
KAYLA: Hi.
SARAH: I missed most of that.
KAYLA: I figured.
SARAH: I missed most of that.
KAYLA: I did figure. I did figure as much. My internet...
SARAH: You were in slow motion for a minute.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And then you caught up and then suddenly you were talking about something else.
KAYLA: Yeah. I could tell from the look on your face that you could not hear me. What is it? Okay. Yes. Here's the link. Ready? And... Okay. Bookshop.org/shop/soundsfakepod. There you go.
SARAH: Great. I was kind of hoping it would be like PXWL1134.
KAYLA: Oh, why would you hope that?
SARAH: It's better for it to not be that.
KAYLA: Yeah. So, on there we have lists of books that...
SARAH: Because it would be funny.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. We have a list of books we've written on, including our book, obviously. We have books by the guests we've had on that you can shop those. We have books with canon aspec characters. And then we have books that I've read that I've talked about on the podcast. So, you could buy those or any other book and we'd get like a dollar or two. Wouldn't that be fabulous?
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: Wow. Anyway, none of this is related to anything.
SARAH: Anyway, Don't Should...
KAYLA: Sarah, what is Don't Should? What does that mean?
SARAH: I could probably give you the lore. Well, if I were normal, I could give you the lore. The lore is my own lore. And do I remember it? Mm.
KAYLA: I'm so confused.
SARAH: Don't Should came not directly from my old therapist, but sort of through that. But I don't remember how.
KAYLA: Great. In the book, you claim it was your therapist that told you it.
SARAH: Well, I don't think she said Don't Should. I don't think she...
KAYLA: No, yes.
SARAH: That's pithy. You know, that's ours.
KAYLA: That's us. I think it was the therapist that talked to you about the concept of shoulding.
SARAH: Of not shoulding. Yeah. Sure. I believe it. You can gaslight me into believing things about my own life.
KAYLA: You wrote that. So, I don't know what to say.
SARAH: Okay. And I wrote that several years ago. I'm sure I remembered it better several years ago than I do now.
KAYLA: All right. Well.
SARAH: I have a horrible memory.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: Yeah. So anyway, for some reason it must have been relevant that my therapist, whose name I can't remember, there was a Wyn in it.
KAYLA: Right.
SARAH: And like an H-S. Anyway. Not shoulding. She talked to me about not shoulding because if we think... It was in the context of me being an ADHD depression gremlin in such that if you're like, oh, I should get out of bed or oh, I should do my laundry, that's not a good motivator.
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And a better way to motivate yourself is to be like, I would like to do this thing. I am going to do this thing. I am doing this thing. And then I said, you know what could be applied to everything?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: That.
KAYLA: That. This. Yes
SARAH: And so, we somehow ended up with don't should. And now we have shirts
KAYLA: That say don't should. And it's in the book. Yeah. I'm trying to remember what context it got brought into the podcast under.
SARAH: I don't know. I mean, it's in there somewhere.
KAYLA: I guess. Yeah. If you were to go back, you would find the origin.
SARAH: But I don’t remember when. We talked about it. It was one of the episodes that for some... This could be a false memory.
KAYLA: Well, great.
SARAH: I was like, for some reason, I remember recording this episode at my desk at our house in Ann Arbor, but you weren't with me.
KAYLA: Where was it?
SARAH: Why would we have been recording remotely while we lived in that house together?
KAYLA: There was a summer I was gone for an internship, but no, you were in California that summer.
SARAH: Honestly, I think it might be a false memory. It's okay.
KAYLA: I mean, maybe I was just gone. I don't know.
SARAH: It could very well be not real. Anyway. It's a while ago. It's back in there. It's probably in the hundreds.
KAYLA: I'm sure someone knows. I'm sure someone right now is like; I know the answer. Exactly.
SARAH: Yeah. But yes. So, we don't should. And we said, let's apply this to everything because we don't get any benefit from saying, oh, I should have had my first kiss by now. Oh, I should get married. I should do whatever, because that just puts all the burden on your shoulders and makes you feel bad that you haven't done it rather than... If it's something that you actually genuinely do want to do at some point, it's better to think about it in a way that will motivate you to get to that point. But if it's something that you don't want to do, fuck off. Don't should. You don't have to.
KAYLA: Yeah. I think the thing that really stuck with me or that I think about most often with don't should is the guilt factor. One of the examples that you wrote in the book is about like, oh, I should eat a vegetable because that's something that you often think... You're just very cognizant of your vegetable balance, I feel. Like, I…
SARAH: It's because I don’t… I eat a disproportionate amount of carbs
KAYLA: Mm, interesting
SARAH: And also, because I don't eat foods that are mixed together.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair. I guess you have to think about having a vegetable.
SARAH: I have to eat fruits and vegetables separately.
KAYLA: That makes sense.
SARAH: So
KAYLA: Anyway, you talk about how the shoulding, say like I should eat a vegetable or like I should do my laundry right now, just makes you feel guilty if you don't do it.
SARAH: Yeah, it just makes you feel guilty that you're not already doing it.
KAYLA: Yeah. And like you said, then you're just going to feel worse, and that is not going to motivate you. If you're speaking about shoulding in that kind of aspect of like chores or taking care of yourself or whatever, then you just end up feeling worse. And then I think in the context of like major life decisions, like getting married or having kids or whatever, I don't know if it's so much like guilt as a factor, but I think it just makes you feel...
SARAH: You feel like you're behind.
KAYLA: Behind, yeah
SARAH: You feel like you're inadequate. You feel like you're not keeping up with everyone else in the world, which is silly because everyone goes at their own pace and there are plenty of people who get married and have kids young and then are really unhappy, and there are plenty of people that wait until they're much older, and then they're so happy that they waited, and then there are people who are in between. There's no one way to do it.
KAYLA: Yeah. I think it's also hard when, especially for those situations, you have like shoulding come, coming from the outside as well, like parents pressuring you or friends or whatever, that's also like makes things a lot more complicated.
SARAH: And I think in the context of specifically aspec stuff, a lot of times it's not just like, oh, I should be married by now. Oh, I should have had my first kiss by now. Often it's, I should do this, period.
KAYLA: Yes. Or I should feel this attraction.
SARAH: Yeah. It's not even like, oh, I should have done this by this point. It's just like even doing it or experiencing it or feeling it at all.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, oh, I should have a crush on a boy, so let me just make one up.
KAYLA: Let me just collect one real quick.
SARAH: Collect one like a fucking Pokemon. Or maybe if you feel romantic attraction to someone and you might be in a relationship with them and being like, oh, I know they want to have sex with me, so I feel like I should, like, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Uh-uh-uh. Discussion.
KAYLA: I thought you were going to say disgusting.
SARAH: Disgusting.
KAYLA: Disgusting.
SARAH: Discussion. Big yawn. You look like a dinosaur when you yawn.
KAYLA: Thank you. Thanks.
SARAH: I've always thought that.
KAYLA: Really?
SARAH: I don't think I've ever verbalized it.
KAYLA: And I don't think you have. That's, I don't know how I feel about that.
SARAH: It's just giving dinosaur. I don’t know
KAYLA: Thank you. What was I going to say? Oh, the other big problem with shoulding is that future ramifications. Because in, I feel like especially in aspec or queer terms of, you know, you should have these major life milestones, and then you let that shoulding fuel the decisions you end up making.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then maybe years down the line, you finally come out of like whatever fog you're in, or you kind of deconstruct whatever, you know, social norms are kind of holding that up. And then you realize years later, like, oh, I don't actually think I should have done that.
SARAH: Yeah, you have, it turns from, like, maybe guilt in the moment pushing you to do something. And then down the line, that just becomes regret.
KAYLA: Yeah. And not to say everyone is going to regret making those more normative, you know, decisions or whatever. But it's just the fact of…
SARAH: I don't want to take that risk.
KAYLA: Sure. Like, I think so often, there are these massive life decisions that people just kind of make on the fly, or like without thinking about it as deeply as maybe would be helpful, because it's just assumed that everyone does it.
SARAH: Right, they do it because they're on the relationship escalator. And…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: They feel like the next step is getting married, they feel like they should get married. So instead of thinking deeply about whether they want to get married, or whether this is the right person to marry, they think, oh, I've been in a relationship with this person for X number of years, I should get married to them.
KAYLA: Yeah. I think that's such a, like, that's something I feel like I've noticed more as I've gotten older is I've noticed in my peers just that fear of, you know, getting older and still being single or not having, you know, like a super established or long-term relationship. And so, there's this anxiety that comes about of, you know, you know, I'm this old, I should have had these things done by now or had things more locked down. And it makes me really worried for those people that they will just rush into something just to sit, be able to say that they did or have that comfort of having another person. And…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's like, I understand that because it's so ingrained, and I think a lot of people just assume that they need a partner to be fulfilled or to make life easier. But I'm just like, it makes me so scared for the future.
SARAH: And so many people stay in relationships in long-term relationships, because they're like, well, I've already sunk three years into this
KAYLA: The sunk cost fallacy.
SARAH: Yeah, like, if we break up, what am I going to do, I'm going to have to find another person, I'm going to have to date them long, especially if like, you're a woman and you want to birth your own children, then you're like, thinking like, I had there's a there's a, there's a ticking timer on this.
KAYLA: Well, it's like people that do the math of like, okay, if I want to have a kid by 32, I want to be married by 30, which means I have to start dating someone by like, 20, whatever, you know, and do the backward math, and then it's like, well, I guess I'll just die.
SARAH: Yeah, and then people, like, even if maybe things in the relationship were good for five years, and then they start going downhill after that people like, well, I have to stay in this relationship. And it's like, no, you don't. I can understand why it would be difficult to let that go. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay
KAYLA: Well, at that point, there's also so much like, once you're together with someone that long your whole life is entangled. And then there's probably like financial situations, living situations, like it is very difficult.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: But yeah, 100%
SARAH: We know someone who was in a very long-term relationship, like double digit long relationship at our age, that relationship recently ended. And that person that we know, is like, bro, I don't know how to… I don't know how to date. I don't know how to do this. But I'm like, dude, that's so exciting. You can just start over
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Yeah, you’re like, I love this. You're like, welcome.
SARAH: Like I can understand how absolutely terrifying that would be. But like, I think there's another way to look at it, which is like, you get to start over, you get to think about what you want for your life, only thinking about you and not prioritizing anyone else's needs, but your own.
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, I think that really goes into the don't should philosophy too, because I think that is the level of freedom that you can have if you uncover yourself from the shoulds of, okay, you know, ditch the social norms, the escalator, the, you know, life path for now, you know, you could always come back to it or like pick pieces from it that you like later. But it is just so much more freeing to be like, okay, here I am in this moment. What do I actually want?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And like, you know, what can I do to get there? What timeline do I want to build for myself? It is just so much more freeing.
SARAH: And it's… the shoulding, we've kind of talked about it primarily as being self-imposed based on societal norms, but it is also imposed by the outside of people being like…
KAYLA: 100%
SARAH: When are you doing that? Like, even with this, this friend in question, there were times when I, or my mom even were like, so when are they getting married? Like, why aren't they engaged yet?
KAYLA: 100% No, I had, I was talking to someone about this relationship that we're talking about and I was like, yeah, it's so wild. I've been waiting for like years for the engagement announcement. Like I was always confused about why that wasn't happening. And then, yeah, I thought to myself like, well, what the fuck, first of all, none of my business, second of all, like… you know?
SARAH: Yeah. And so, it's like, we are out here being like, don't should, but at the same time, we're also, I mean, we never like asked this person, like, when are you getting engaged? Because that would have been fucking-
KAYLA: Crazy.
SARAH: Rude. Um, but just like we… us having those thoughts, it's proof that like, it's so pervasive and it's not necessarily easy to fight the shoulds. Shoulds got hands. But…
KAYLA: Shoulds do got hands. But no, it is so ingrained. I mean, it's, yeah, like you said, like we have this podcast, we spend so much time talking about this stuff. But I so often have thoughts like that of like, oh, why are these people doing this in the relationship? Why aren't they engaged yet? Like when is this going to happen? When is whatever? And it's because it is just so ingrained and there are so many, I think like so many of those milestones we are taught are the signs of a healthy relationship. And so, I think, you know, part of it comes out of, I don't know, like a nasty little curiosity, just of like, oh, what's going on with other people's lives? Like what are you people doing? But I think some of it is just like concern for friends or like wanting to know how they're doing or being able to gauge how their relationships are going. And we're just taught that those are the ways that you can tell if a relationship is going well.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And it's like, that's not, that's not always the case.
SARAH: The deal end all. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I think also on the flipside, I'm just thinking of the scenarios in which I feel the urge to impose should-nots onto people.
KAYLA: I always should-notting. Let me tell you a thing about me. I’m always should-notting, specifically other people.
SARAH: And like, I, a couple of examples I'm thinking of, someone that I was good friends with in high school, I haven't really talked to since high school, but like, we were… like I… we are still like friendly and like we like each other's posts on the internet, I don't know. Never dated in high school. Never really showed any interest in dating in high school. Recently got married. And I was like, I have never pictured you married ever in my life. And so, it's just weird to me that you're like being like, like changed your name on Instagram. I'm like, oh, yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. So, this is so off topic and could probably be like a whole episode it's on its own, but I have recently come upon this topic like twice in two weeks of people changing their names like the day after they get married on Instagram.
SARAH: Not the day of?
KAYLA: Okay. I don't… okay. Here's what it was brought to me is my friend was like, oh, I know this person who got married and like they got married on a Saturday and on the Sunday the woman changed her Instagram username. And my friend was like, why do you have to do that right away? Like don't you have something better to do?
SARAH: I guess they prepared
KAYLA: Like they were… by that. I don't know.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But anyway.
SARAH: I don't know. But like, and then like posting like wedding photos and I'm like, this is so weird to me. This is so weird to me. And it's not like I thought that… it's not even like a should not in that case. It's just like I imagined it would not happen. And so, for the fact that it did happen, I have to like realign everything. Another thing that recently I've been thinking about is I can understand why people would get married. As someone who doesn't want kids, I sometimes struggle to understand why people want kids and are so excited to have kids, especially if you're what I consider to be young, which a lot of these people in question are my age and older, which is a totally normal age.
KAYLA: Normal age, yeah
SARAH: I am 26, almost 27 years old. Like that is a… no when… at my age, my mother already had a child.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I just think I'm like, I'm like, well, like, I know you as a person. Why would you want that if I don't want that? And so…
KAYLA: Explain.
SARAH: And so, then when I find out that they're pregnant or they had a baby or whatever, I was talking about this with someone today. And then I opened Instagram and the first thing I saw was a birth announcement from someone who is the same age as me. And I was like, oh
KAYLA: It is so… it's so bizarre, especially because, like, I come from a very small town. So, people started having kids immediately after high school.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And so, then it was like, more okay to judge question mark.
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: It was more of like…
SARAH: You’re like, oh, that's still a teen pregnancy.
KAYLA: Yeah. Like, oh, that's wild. We maybe shouldn't be doing that.
SARAH: You can't legally drink yet.
KAYLA: Yeah. But now it's normal. But I still have the mindset of like, what are you doing?
SARAH: I still think everything is a teen pregnancy.
KAYLA: Well, especially if it's people I know from high school that are like, I know a couple people from high school, not like close friends, but just like, mutuals, whatever, that had kids recently. And I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: What are you doing?
SARAH: That's sort of a situation where I'm like, listen, some of them might be doing this because they think they should, but some of them might be doing this because it's genuinely what they want. And it is and, and I should not, I should not should not them.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Just because I don't understand it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like don't yuck someone's yums. Just because you don’t…
KAYLA: Sarah, I feel as though if I ever have kids, you might die.
SARAH: My sister said that when she told me that she was getting a dog, she wishes that she had been more dramatic about it. Like done like more of a reveal
KAYLA: A reveal. Yeah.
SARAH: Because she said that she knew that I was going to be way more excited about that than when she announces to me that she's pregnant.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably. Yeah. I don't want the people around me to start having kids. Some people, a couple people around me have started getting engaged. And that definitely feels like a shift of like, oh
SARAH: I… yeah, because I feel like I know a lot of people who are like my age who are like getting married, or have gotten married. But none of them are super close to me.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like all the people that I am closest to, I guess my sister is like the most, the most one who's gotten married
KAYLA: She is married
SARAH: That… a good sentence by me
KAYLA: And she is the closest to you, I would say.
SARAH: But she's older than me.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And like, I've always viewed her as like my older sister. So, like, of course…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: She would get to things before people might but like, all the people I know who have gotten married are people that I would consider myself friends with and like, would be comfortable just like texting them.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I was not invited to the wedding. Like that's kind of like the level.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay, my friend who's wedding is on my birthday.
KAYLA: Rude.
SARAH: Very rude, because it means she can't celebrate my birthday.
KAYLA: That bitch
SARAH: And she's stealing two other friends away…
KAYLA: Oh my God that bitch
SARAH: Because they will be at her…
KAYLA: Bitch.
SARAH: Rude. I'm not even mad that I'm not invited to her wedding.
KAYLA: You're just mad about the birthday.
SARAH: Yeah, like, I would love to be invited to her wedding but I also knew that it was a small wedding and we are internet friends. So…
KAYLA: Fair.
SARAH: Like, I get it
KAYLA: Tough.
SARAH: But my other friend is officiating the wedding and it's going to be so good because she's literally a poet, like she has a master's degree in poetry.
KAYLA: Oh damn, that would be good.
SARAH: Anyway, the thing I was going to say is they actually legally got married, like a week or two ago.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And I asked her, I was like… oh, and she married a man. It's relevant.
KAYLA: Important comments.
SARAH: It's relevant.
KAYLA: Important news.
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Um, they've been together for a very long time. Um, I've… I met this man, more than once. Um, she… I asked her, I was like, oh, are you changing your name? And I was like, I'm going to be honest, I think it just occurred to me, I don't know your last name.
KAYLA: So, it doesn't matter to you either.
SARAH: It doesn't matter to me, because she didn't have her last name on her socials.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And like, I never asked her for it. So, like, in her phone, in my phone, her last name is just her handle, her @, her Twitter @. Um, but I was like, oh, like, I was like, I realized I don't even think I know your last name. And she was like, well, yeah, I'm changing my name. My last name was blah, blah, blah. But I am taking his last name. I didn't even like ask why but like she was like, yeah, I, my last name, her maiden name, I guess now is her dad's last name, and she doesn't have a relationship with her dad.
KAYLA: Oh, that makes sense
SARAH: So, she was like, I didn't… I didn't want to keep it, like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And that I understand. But when women, here's my thing. Here's a place where I will should
KAYLA: Oh, here it comes.
SARAH: If you are a woman marrying a man, and you take his last name, you need to have a good reason for it.
KAYLA: What would you prefer the woman to do?
SARAH: I don't like it when women change their name, just because they feel like they're supposed to, just because they feel like they should, because that's standard.
KAYLA: What if they actually want to? Is that okay?
SARAH: Then it's fine.
KAYLA: But I have to have a reason
SARAH: They have to have a reason. That's why like my friend, when she told me she was like, oh, my last name is my dad's last name, I don't have a relationship with him. I’m like, that's a great reason. Valid. Stamp of approval. Congrats.
KAYLA: How do you feel about a hyphenation?
SARAH: That's fine.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I just think like if you're getting queer married, and names are going to be changed, it's obviously something that you've thought a lot about. Like when…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: My sister got married, my sister-in-law took our last name. And because it was not a hetero relationship, it wasn't assumed.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And so that was something that she thought about. And she was like, well, you know, like, my last name is my dad's last name. And the only person on my dad's side of the family who I really have relationship with is my father. And also, people can't pronounce it.
KAYLA: That… Yeah
SARAH: So… and obviously, Costello is a better name. So, like, that was like, a part of her calculus of why she decided to change her name. And I think that straight couples should also have to think about that.
KAYLA: I do agree. I do wish it was less of an assumed. I think most things in relationships in general would be better served if they were not just assumed so that there could be forced conversations.
SARAH: Yeah. And I understand… like, it gets tough then if, if you're choosing to have kids deciding what last name to give the kids, especially if you don't, if no one changes their name.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I know, in a lot of cultures, the default is the father's name, like in Korea when you get married, you don't change your name, but the kids all get the dad's last name.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: And in a lot of like Latino cultures, like they… you take, you have two last names. So, you take your mom's last name, and your dad's last name, and those are your two last names. But then if you have kids, the last name you pass on is only your dad's last name.
KAYLA: Okay, I was going to ask, so I was like, what happens if you have kids, because then you're going to have like 20 last names?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Eventually
SARAH: You get two, but the only one you pass on is your dad's.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: So, like, you are still honoring the mom side, but like
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Only for a generation, and then it gets lost.
KAYLA: Sure. Of course, why not?
SARAH: And so like, that is why like, I do like certain like hyphenations or like, not to… not to make it 2017 in here.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: On fucking Agents of Shield
KAYLA: Oh my god. What? What year is this? Hello
SARAH: That's what I said, to make it 2017.
KAYLA: I have not heard that sentence in… that brought me the fuck back. Wow.
SARAH: But the characters, their last names were Fitz and Simmons, and they went together, they combined, they went by Fitzsimmons, like everyone called them Fitzsimmons, it was like canon, that was how they were introduced. So, when they got, spoiler, when they got married…
KAYLA: Spoiler? No one is watching this show anymore.
SARAH: They legally changed their last name to Fitzsimmons. And then when they, spoiler, had a kid, their kid's last name was Fitzsimmons.
KAYLA: I didn't know they had a kid.
SARAH: It was in a season that I still haven't watched.
KAYLA: Okay, great.
SARAH: But I know it happens, because Miranda watched it.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: I feel as though I am probably your closest friend that is closest to getting married.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And I fear that when I get engaged slash married, you are going to freak out.
SARAH: I'm cool as a cucumber at all times.
KAYLA: I don't think so.
SARAH: I'm cool as a cucumber when necessary.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Yes?
KAYLA: Maybe when deeply necessary.
SARAH: Listen…
KAYLA: But I don't think me getting engaged would necessitate you being cool as a cucumber.
SARAH: I don't think I would… I don't think I would freak out to your face, though.
KAYLA: Yeah, but you might as well, because I'll know that you're freaking out. So, you might as well.
SARAH: Or you'll assume, because you think I should freak out. Don't should, Kayla.
KAYLA: No, I just know that you… like, I just know that you will.
SARAH: What are you going to do with your last name?
KAYLA: My current thought is hyphenation.
SARAH: Okay. So instead of having one that's hard and confusing to say, you have two.
KAYLA: I have two, yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. Okay
KAYLA: I don't think… I'm not super interested in fully changing.
SARAH: But would step Dean also hyphenate?
KAYLA: I don't know. I'm not sure.
SARAH: I think it's only fair.
KAYLA: I'll bring it up with him. I'll let him know your thoughts.
SARAH: Okay, great. But yeah, if I just see you change your name on social media, and you don't do a public announcement of why you chose to do that…
KAYLA: Oh, why? Interesting. Okay. High standards.
SARAH: I will judge you a little.
KAYLA: Okay. Interesting.
SARAH: Unless it's gay.
KAYLA: Have you ever seen someone put online, like, I just changed my name and here's the reason why? Have you ever seen someone do that?
SARAH: No. No one in the history of time has ever done that.
KAYLA: Okay, yeah. Thought not. I thought so.
SARAH: It's just for these people who I, like, only sort of know, who I don't keep up with, and I don't feel comfortable, like, asking. Like I want them to announce it so that I know whether I should judge them or not.
KAYLA: Okay, I see. So, it's like when, you know the trend that some people recently have done, like, breakup announcements, but they are, like, not famous people at all, they're just, like, just some people, and they'll, like, put a breakup announcement on Instagram, and it's, like, going into the full reason why they break up, and it's, like, great.
SARAH: No, but I love it.
KAYLA: Yeah. I've never seen anyone, like, I know do it, I've just seen it on TikTok or whatever. But I'm like, yeah, I love that. Like, give me all the context as if you're, like, an influencer. Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah, I want to know exactly what happened. Yeah, I want to know why you're changing your name.
KAYLA: Okay, any time I make a major life decision, I will make sure to…
SARAH: I also think…
KAYLA: Instagram you the full information.
SARAH: No, I need it in an infographic.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Big life announcements, only an infographic.
KAYLA: Okay, I'm trying to think, what's my next, okay, what do you count as, like, a major life announcement? Like, what's my next announcement?
SARAH: I don't know, what's next?
KAYLA: Like should I have done one for when I moved?
SARAH: Um, I don't know
KAYLA: Like I'm just trying to figure out, like, what counts? What counts as the infographic of what I need to infographic?
SARAH: The infographics that people in my circle have recently gotten were for separation and divorce.
KAYLA: And divorce. Yeah, okay. I'm just trying to figure out the caliber of life announcement that warrants an infographic.
SARAH: An infographic.
KAYLA: Like if I have, like, a banana, do I need to be, like, incoming banana announcement? I don't know.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I need to describe to you why I decided to have a banana.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Because you were hungry and you wanted potassium.
KAYLA: Oh, you're assuming I was hungry? Are you saying I should have been hungry?
SARAH: I'm saying it's the logical conclusion to make with little information.
KAYLA: I just feel like you're assuming a lot of things about my life.
SARAH: I just feel like, here's the thing, okay, we're backing back up, uh, since I think straight couples should have to think about it, I think I would like to see more straight couples where the man changes his name.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: And the girl does not.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: What, what does it, what does it mean that I said man, but I said girl?
KAYLA: Girl. Sexist. You’re a sexist.
SARAH: Sexist.
KAYLA: Sexist against women.
SARAH: God. Damn it.
KAYLA: Not again.
SARAH: Anyway, in conclusion, I think people should just change their names for fun. I think, I think, well, it would get confusing, but I think, because you can just legally change your name for whatever reason. You can, if you are trans.
KAYLA: It costs money though.
SARAH: It does cost money. If you're, and it's complicated and it's annoying.
KAYLA: You have to get like a lawyer. It's a whole, I have a friend who's been trying to do it for like two years and it's a whole situation.
SARAH: I was recently at a cat cafe…
KAYLA: Because here's the thing. When you get married to change your name, they're like, oh my God, come in, come change your name.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Right. Marriage.
KAYLA: If you have another reason though, like I have some friends that are trying to change names for like a variety of dramatic reasons and it's so expensive and it's such a detailed process, but oh, if you're married, that's fine.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: That's fine.
SARAH: I, when I was in elementary school, I went to school with someone who over the course of my elementary school years had three different last names.
KAYLA: Impressive.
SARAH: And I'm like, wow.
KAYLA: I knew someone that had their name changed as a baby because their parents named her something and then they were like, just kidding.
SARAH: Just kidding.
KAYLA: I don't like that anymore.
SARAH: Fuck shit. I got distracted by telling Kayla stories that can't go in the podcast and I forgot what I was talking about.
KAYLA: Tough week for things that aren't making it on the podcast. This is what happens when we take a week off. There's so much news to tell.
SARAH: What were we talking about?
KAYLA: Girl, not the topic. That's for sure.
SARAH: Last names.
KAYLA: Oh, you want people to just change their last names for fun.
SARAH: I think people should just change their last names more often. I think… yeah, I do think there is like a stigma against like, why are you changing your name if you're not getting married? Whereas if you're getting married, oh, I remember what I was saying, recently me and my sister and my sister-in-law were at a cat cafe in Fort Myers, Florida.
KAYLA: Oh, my dream
SARAH: It's called Cattyshack Cafe. It's a lovely place.
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Anyway, we had to give our email. Oh, we made a reservation in advance, my sister-in-law had to give her email to be like, this is what it's under. And her email still has her maiden name in it. And I was like, oh, that's still. And she was like, yeah, you can't change a Gmail.
KAYLA: No, you can't.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I think the best you could do is make a new one and then have it forward.
SARAH: And then have it forward.
KAYLA: But that's so much.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway. Anyway, I think people should be able to just change their names for, I think it may be a little excessive if you're like, I want my name to be Fox this year and next year I would like it to be Dork. And then the year after that, I want it to be Bumpelstiltskin. I think that's a little much.
KAYLA: That would get confusing, I think.
SARAH: But if you have a good reason to change your name, you don't have to wait until you get married. You don't have to wait until you fucking transition, like change your name whenever you want.
KAYLA: Maybe I should marry my friend that's been having trouble changing her name.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And then she doesn't have to change it to my name, but maybe it'll just like get her in faster.
SARAH: Maybe.
KAYLA: Is that how it works? Probably not.
SARAH: Or like our friend, Miranda, her last name is a two parter.
KAYLA: It is.
SARAH: It is Saint and then another word. And so, I'm not going to dox her, I don't know what she consents to. And so, we were always like, oh, when we get married, we're going to be Saint Costello. My one problem with that is it moves me way far down the alphabet.
KAYLA: Yeah, I know how you feel about that.
SARAH: And I don't want to move down the alphabet.
KAYLA: But here's the thing, like you're not a child anymore. So, when are you being like alphabetized and put in line?
SARAH: I guess it's just when I was in school, in elementary school, when we had numbers, I was always like number three, number five, number six
KAYLA: The thing is you're not in elementary school anymore and you're not going to have kids. So, it's like they won't have to go through it either.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I think you need to let go of the alphabet supremacy that you have.
SARAH: Listen, I think C is a great letter, first letter of a last name to have.
KAYLA: Is C your favorite letter?
SARAH: It's not right at the beginning.
KAYLA: Do you have a favorite letter?
SARAH: I don't have a favorite letter.
KAYLA: Do you have a favorite number?
SARAH: I used to.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I used to like five and I used to like three and I still have no beef with those numbers. I think I just learned to appreciate other numbers more. For example, my sister's favorite number, at least at one point, was four and I decided for no reason that I was going to dislike four. Four is a perfectly fine number.
KAYLA: I'm actually not a huge fan of four now that I'm thinking about it.
SARAH: Interesting. I think I don't love six.
KAYLA: Six is a little boring. My problem with four- so my favorite number is three. I also love a five though, nice like, you know, like round number or whatever.
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: And so, I feel like four just gets lost in there, lost in the sauce between three and five. This is I think our best episode yet.
SARAH: Don't should. In our heads we're thinking we should bring this back.
KAYLA: They tell you; you should stay on topic. Everyone in the podcast advice, they're like, you should make sure to stay on topic. No, no, no, no, no
SARAH: No, no, no, no, no.
KAYLA: We will not cave in.
SARAH: Don’t should
KAYLA: We'll do what we want.
SARAH: We'll do what we want. Not even always what we want, just what our mental illness dictates.
KAYLA: Just what happens. My favorite is that when we started this episode, Sarah was like, okay, are you ready to lock in for like an hour? And I was like, maybe a clean 45. And Sarah said, okay, we'll aim for 38 and it'll end up being 55 minutes. And here we are.
SARAH: We're at 53. Recording time, we're at 53.
KAYLA: Yeah. So, we're doing great.
SARAH: Kayla? Kayla?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Remember how we said in this episode we could then do a silly thing where we talk about the things that we shouldn't, don't should?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: We don't have time for that.
KAYLA: No, it's too much.
SARAH: Kayla, what’s our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Our poll is, okay, our poll is, what do you find yourself shoulding the most?
SARAH: Yeah. Shoulding the most slash also and or the most difficult should.
KAYLA: To not.
SARAH: To un-shoulder.
KAYLA: To don't.
SARAH: To off. To don't. To not.
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: Great.
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: Oh, brother. Where to begin? One of my big beefs is sciatica. Wouldn't recommend it.
SARAH: What a bitch.
KAYLA: It's bad and it makes you feel bad and have to take a week off podcasting because your body hurt so bad. I can't even build fucking furniture without wanting to die anymore. It's awful. My other beef is putting together furniture because today I was putting together the last piece of furniture I needed to put together.
SARAH: Like new furniture or furniture that you had to disassemble?
KAYLA: New furniture. New furniture.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Luckily, our movers disassembled and reassembled our furniture for us.
SARAH: Oh, hell yeah.
KAYLA: It was a fucking dream. They were absolutely lovely.
SARAH: Did they cost a billion dollars because everyone moves at the same time?
KAYLA: These people actually were not… like it wasn't great but compared to what I've paid the past it was not terrible. They were like…
SARAH: I've never had a mover.
KAYLA: I will not move by myself. I won't do it. I would gladly spend a trillion dollars on movers
SARAH: My sister and my sister-in-law were supposed to have their friends help them move and then they both got COVID and they had to do it by themselves with COVID.
KAYLA: Yeah that's… I wouldn't… I just wouldn't do that.
SARAH: And now they live with my parents.
KAYLA: Well, what are you going to do?
SARAH: Temporarily. Continue.
KAYLA: What was I saying? Oh yes. So, I was putting together… Okay, first of all I opened this box to start building this thing like two days ago and then the instructions weren't in there so then I went to look up the instructions on the website and the ones that were there were wrong. So, I was like…
SARAH: From whence came it?
KAYLA: Wayfair. And so, I was like…
SARAH: Was there a child in there?
KAYLA: Yeah, there was a child being kidnapped in there. And I was like…
SARAH: Okay. They were actively being kidnapped while they were in there?
KAYLA: Yes. And I was like…
SARAH: So, there was someone else in there kidnapping them?
KAYLA: Yeah. And I was like…
SARAH: And also, maybe their parents were being kidnapped?
KAYLA: And I was like, what the F? And so, then it took forever for them to email me back to be like here's the right instructions. So then today I was like okay I'm going to go from work, I'm going to build this fucking thing. It's a vanity. And I was like I'm going to fucking build it. And it took me like two and a half hours. And then the screwdrivers we have are cheap and bad so they kept stripping so like I can't even use them anymore because they're just like broken.
SARAH: Oh, no
KAYLA: And some of their screws just like wouldn't go in enough so I couldn't really finish it and I need to borrow my friend's power drill.
SARAH: Getting nude in your home
KAYLA: What? Yes stripping.
SARAH: You're just getting nude.
KAYLA: Good, funny. And so now I'm just like in a bad mood about it because I just want it to be done so I can like put things in boxes away. And I'm so annoyed because they're like all you need is a screwdriver and it's like no I need a power drill to make this possible you bitch. So hopefully I'll have my friend's power drill tomorrow and then I can do it. My juice is an Epsom salt bath because after putting together furniture the other day I almost think I paralyzed myself. I was so in pain. It was so bad. But then I took Epsom salt bath and it was a little bit…
SARAH: Epsom salt bath?
KAYLA: Exactly. That's all.
SARAH: I love that for you and hate that for you at the same time.
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: My juice is after not interacting with another human for like three weeks straight I got dinner with a friend
KAYLA: Huge
SARAH: And then the next night I went to a birthday party
KAYLA: Huge
SARAH: And after the birthday party we went to Bob's big boy.
KAYLA: Yes.
[00:50:00]
SARAH: And I ate pancakes. And then we went home and then the next day I went to another birthday party.
KAYLA: Okay, popular.
SARAH: And at that birthday party were a bunch of people I primarily didn't know and one of them was hosting the birthday party, not the birthday boy but was hosting on behalf of the birthday boy and they also didn't know everyone there and at the end of the night when I was leaving, I went to go put my little shoes on and they came over and they were like it was so nice to meet you you're my favorite one here.
KAYLA: Huge. Huge
SARAH: And I was like, oh my god
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: I'm your favorite, I’m your favorite one here.
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: And I won Quiplash for the first time.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: With a bunch of people, I don't know which is weird.
KAYLA: You want to say whose birthday it was?
SARAH: Oh yeah it was number one porn writer Dalton King.
KAYLA: I love Dalton King.
SARAH: Dalton King also went with me to the other birthday party and to Bob's big boy.
KAYLA: Big weekend for Dalton King. Big Dalton King weekend.
SARAH: My beef is… I feel like I forgot to say something. My beef that I just thought of just now is I recently was on the Wikipedia's of like notable aspec people.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: To prove to someone that I was on there
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And I… my um my birthday was listed as I believe it was N.A. No, I think it was just unknown, my birth year, and I was like, how do you… my birth year is 1997. Can someone tell me…
KAYLA: Was mine on there?
SARAH: You weren't on that one.
KAYLA: Whoaaaa. Aaahhh.
SARAH: I think it may have been like specifically asexual not a sexual spectrum
KAYLA: I’ll kill myself
SARAH: And also, um Cody Daigle-Orians they were like we think it's either this year or that one.
KAYLA: Just ask at that point.
SARAH: Just ask
KAYLA: Like at that point just ask like who's finding this situation and why.
SARAH: Anyway, someone let them know, that it was 1997.
KAYLA: That’s wild. And you can reference this episode as the…
SARAH: Exactly, this is your evidence
KAYLA: This is it, right here.
SARAH: This is your evidence.
KAYLA: Someone fix that.
SARAH: What was my other… I had another, ugh, anyway, I'll think of my other beef slash juice after we're done recording
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef slash juice…
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef and or juice and or gravy on our social media @soundsfakepod uh we also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you would like to support us on that place. We have a new $2 patron, it's Max, thank you Max for your money.
KAYLA: Max, Max, Max, Max
SARAH: We appreciate you. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Green_sarah, Jennifer Smart, Joch, Jolly Lizbert and Katharina who told me I pronounced their name right
KAYLA: Love that
SARAH: Better than they can? Confused about that, because if you're German, they… this person informed us that they are German but they can't roll their r's so I pronounced their name better than they sometimes do to which I say what I know about language acquisition how do you? How? How do you not…
KAYLA: Maybe…
SARAH: How can you not…
KAYLA: They're tongue tied or something, maybe there's a tongue problem
SARAH: Like is there a physiological reason why a person wouldn't be able to roll an r?
KAYLA: Yeah, if your tongue is weird, like you know some people the thing that connects your tongue to the bottom of your face
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: Like that, some people's is like it is… the connection is bigger so they have like a really short tongue
SARAH: Huh
KAYLA: So, some people will get surgery as babies to like cut… to cut that so the tongue can go out farther
SARAH: My sister at one point had to get this thing cut
KAYLA: It was too big?
SARAH: I don't remember
KAYLA: That's crazy
SARAH: It was like a dental thing though
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: This is an audio format
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah
SARAH: People don't know what I was just pointing to, um, anyway, those are our $5 patrons who we're promoting this week. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs, my aunt Jeannie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven, Kayla’s dad who would like to promote JandiCreations.com, Maff who would like to promote the Don't Should sweatshirt
KAYLA: Let’s go, soundsfakepod.com/shop, I think
SARAH: Either shop or store
KAYLA: It's one of them
SARAH: And you can buy it and you can look absolutely fresh
KAYLA: And it’s really good
SARAH: You can look fresh and fly
KAYLA: And you should buy it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Ha ha ha
SARAH: I have this problem when I talk about don't shoulding where then you say, oh you shouldn't should and then you're like…
KAYLA: Oh, I’m lost
SARAH: And then I'm like you ought not should
KAYLA: You ought not, it would be best if you did not should
SARAH: Um and our other $10 patron who would like to promote something this week is Martin Chiesl who would like to promote his podcast Everyone’s Special and No One Is. Our other $10 patrons are Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Bones, Celina Dobson, Clare Olsen, David Harris, and Derick & Carissa. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, I was doing so well. Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki and my mom who would like to promote Dr. Jacki being Dr. Jacki and remembering what you were going to say. Thanks for listening… which I didn't do, thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then take good care of your cows. What?
SARAH: You yawned, so I said dinosaur
KAYLA: Oh, oh. Okay, bye.
SARAH: Dino, Dino-Rawr
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]