Ep 111: Sex Shouldn't Be a Social Taboo
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SARAH: Hey what's up hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I’m Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, sex being a social taboo.
BOTH: Sounds Fake, But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: M’andalorian?
SARAH: True.
KAYLA: I haven't watched it.
SARAH: But Baby Yoda exists. Kayla and I were just discussing, we're going to put, for true listeners, there's going to be something for you at the end. I’m just going to throw it out there for you
KAYLA: Yeah, and it's actually very good content.
SARAH: And it's something that has been requested, kind of.
KAYLA: I mean, in a way, I guess.
SARAH: In a way. Don't get too excited. Okay.
KAYLA: Yeah, don't.
SARAH: So, Kayla, what are we talking about this week? Oh wait, hold on. We're back? I would like to apologize again.
KAYLA: Oh yes.
SARAH: I hope those of you who are patrons enjoyed the Kayla Only episode.
KAYLA: I’m sure it was riveting to just listen to me.
SARAH: Yeah, I had to listen through the whole thing to make sure there was nothing that we needed to cut out.
KAYLA: How was that experience? Because I sure didn't do that.
SARAH: And there was, it was just the things that Kayla was saying, like I under, once I heard them I was like, oh I remember the context. But out of context, I was like, anything could happen here.
KAYLA: I mean, certainly the part where we were like arguing about whether to leave a part in, I’m sure it was very wild to hear one-sided.
SARAH: Yeah, yeah.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Alright. What are we, what, this week? Hi.
KAYLA: This week, hello. This week I… we are talking about how sex is a taboo to talk about and how, no.
SARAH: True. So, originally when I first started thinking about this, I wanted to go into a little bit more about like why sex is a social taboo. But then I decided I don't care why sex is a social taboo. First of all, it has to do a lot with religion and stuff. That all differs from culture to culture. I don't want to make this too America-centric. But also, I think it just matters more that we talk about why it shouldn't be. Fuck that shit.
KAYLA: It's fair.
SARAH: So, I wrote a bunch of stuff. I wrote a bunch of notes down on some paper.
KAYLA: Wow, some paper.
SARAH: Some paper, and then they were out of order, so I had to retype all of them.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: So, yes. I’m just going to start saying things.
KAYLA: And I wrote nothing, because that's how this show works.
SARAH: And Kayla has no idea what I’m going to say, so cool.
KAYLA: It's really, we're both the listener here. You and I, the listener.
SARAH: So, okay. Question. Why is sex such a social taboo? Answer, I don't care.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: But like, I was thinking about my own relationship with the social taboo of sex. And okay, I’m uncomfortable talking about it in part because I’m super ace, but also in part because of society and the way I've been taught to act regarding sex. Because when you're growing up, everyone is… it's like you don't, you don't talk about sex. Sex is an adult thing and no one talks about it. And it's, you can't go into a rated R movie because they use the word fuck in a sexual context. And that's not okay for children, I guess. I don't know. But the older I get and the more exposed I am to just people like talking about sex and like sex existing is a thing that is in the cultural zeitgeist.
KAYLA: Zeitgeist.
SARAH: Zeitgeist. Because I think, I mean, as time passes, people are getting more and more comfortable with it. So, it's not just me growing up, but also the culture changing. But like the more comfortable I've gotten with it. And obviously everyone's comfort level is going to be a bit different. And I’m willing to bet that my comfort level with like talking about sex is much lower compared to like the average allosexual person.
KAYLA: Probably.
SARAH: But me becoming more comfortable with sex as a concept and sex that is something that is talked about has only made my life better. Maybe a little uncomfortable at times. But, because like my, okay, my understanding of like how sex works and why it matters to people has helped me to understand romantic and sexual relationships better. Because as an aro-ace person, I’m just like, what the fuck? Like things that make people are like, oh yeah, I want to fuck that person. And I’m like, what does this mean? But like people talking about it more openly is maybe like, oh, I sort of understand this. Also, people being open online about like sexual violence can teach people a lot about boundaries and how consent works and like whether or not you're a person who plans to have sex, that's important to know. Because here's a fact for you, Kayla.
KAYLA: Oh, OK, thank you.
SARAH: Sex is common.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: It is natural, whether it's with the goal of procreating or not. And it's normal.
KAYLA: It's also not for everyone, but for at least two people necessary.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: If we want to continue.
SARAH: Yeah, exactly.
KAYLA: Only two people have to do it, I guess.
SARAH: Just two
KAYLA: But…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It does impact all of us.
SARAH: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it impacts all of us. And I do want to say like it's... It is important to note that not everyone does it, and I think it's important to remove the like everyone does it argument out of the way we talk about sex.
KAYLA: Not everyone does it and not everyone needs to do it. In fact, it'd probably be better if less people did it because there's too many of us.
SARAH: We're overpopulated.
KAYLA: There's too many.
SARAH: And let's not erase ace folks or other folks who may be celibate it for other reasons. Incels, I’m not talking about you. Fuck off. I’m just talking about people for whom like sex maybe isn't like physically possible or like other things. So, fuck off incels. Just going to say that again.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: But understanding the role sex plays in our society and knowing what's okay and what isn't is important. Like for me as a woman, I may be ace and not interested in like seeking out sex or having sex or whatever. But I need to understand consent because here's a horrible fact.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: One in four women are sexually assaulted in their lives.
KAYLA: That's horrifying to me.
SARAH: It's horrifying. But like I need to understand like what sex is and what consent is and that sort of thing. And kids need to understand that because the world is full of creepy people and they need to be able to protect themselves or at the very least know when something is wrong.
KAYLA: I feel like the amount of stories I've heard where people don't realize that they were assaulted until they're much older because when they were children they didn't know what sex was and they didn't realize that was assault….
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: Is just like and not that the kid is necessarily going to have like the physical or emotional or anything power to stop that from happening, whether they know what it is or not, like they're at least going to know what's, you know?
SARAH: Something can maybe be done about it after the fact, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah
SARAH: Whereas if you don't realize for 20 years that you were sexually assaulted…
KAYLA: That's a lot.
SARAH: That's a lot.
KAYLA: A couple of thoughts. One is that just like, and this might not be like super relevant to people who are ace and or just aren't having sex, but like I just feel like having more open communication about sex, like if you're going to have sex, makes it better. Because I feel like people who don't, you don't talk about it and you don't really like, it's like a very hush hush thing, you're like more likely than not having bad sex.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because you've never been like, hey friend, like I had this sex last night and it was great, here's what happened. And then you're like, interesting, I will also do that. And it's great. Or you like read an article, you know?
SARAH: Yeah, well I… like I've learned a lot from fanfiction.
KAYLA: Oh yes
SARAH: And like Kayla and I have both talked about this on the pod before that we've both encountered smut in our own forays in fanfiction. And a lot of that is written by women. So, like…
KAYLA: So, it's always good.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: It's always good because it's written by women.
SARAH: Yeah. And so like, even if there are aspects of it that like maybe aren't totally accurate at times, like it shows sex and sexual encounters from a female perspective, which is often a healthier take on it than what you might find in like, I don't know, porn. I was reading this article on Medium today about how porn is bad, not just because of like the moral reason or whatever, like, even just like beyond the exploitation of the actors, but because it teaches men to have sex with women in a way that is only good for men, and may actually be like bad or painful for women. And this article was talking about how like, even in books about female sexuality that are supposedly open about this thing, like women are told how to act during sex in a way that men would like…
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KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Rather than acting in a way that makes the experience actually enjoyable for themselves, and that they talked about faking orgasms and all that fun stuff, and it was really interesting. But like, all that is an issue. It may not be like the number one issue in the world of feminism, but it's not not an issue.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I think the problem there regarding how women are treated in the context of sex is something that is related to sexual violence, and it's something that should be talked about. But the way I found this article was someone I went to college with shared it on Facebook. And my first thought was like, wow, bold of you to share this on this particular social media platform, where people are often friends with like family and that sort of thing. But then I was like, why not? Like, I understand like the discomfort maybe about discussing like sex or porn or whatever with family, but like, it's still something that should be talked about. And I’m… Kayla, you know this, I’m a serial liker, I click like on like everything that I find remotely good on the internet.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: But even though I read the whole article, and like, I agree with what they said, I was reticent to like it, because I knew that me liking it meant that it might show up on some of my friends’ feeds. Because there's just this whole taboo about discussing sex or discussing porn or whatever. Ultimately, I lost the post in the void because Facebook is trash. So, the decision was made for me. But you know, it happens.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, like, and the whole thing with like the uncomfort of talking about it with your family, like, obviously, it's never going to be like, comfy talking about sex with your family.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But like, the whole idea of like, oh, you need to have like the talk with your kid and it's going to be like really awkward and terrible. Like, it doesn't have to be. Like, if that's something you're open with your kid about from like an early age, like, if your toddler is like, Mom, where do babies come from? Like, I don't know if it's the worst idea to like actually kind of tell them at least like a watered-down version of the truth rather than like, it was the stork.
SARAH: I agree. Like, I… you don't have to give them like, anatomically correct, like, information when they're four years old. But like… like, people are always saying like, oh, like, kids are too young to know, like, especially when we're talking about like sex education in schools. A lot of times people are like, kids are too young to know, but here's the deal, they're going to find out anyway.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Whether it's from TV, or some kid on the playground, or somewhere else. And like, wouldn't you rather it be in a controlled environment with people that they trust, than have it be some like, I don't know, some guy in a white van, like, kids can't protect themselves, they don't know what to protect themselves against. And you can still have like, age-appropriate discussions that still talk about it openly, as it is.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, just like regarding sex education in the United States.
KAYLA: Bad.
SARAH: Some places it's good, some places it's bad. I… my… I don't know about you Kayla, but I’m interested to know, growing up, the sex education I got in public school was not bad. And I went to school in an area that I would say definitely leans red, but it's not deep red. And it's not far from more like, blue liberal places. The sex education I got was not bad, although to be fair, I did block most of it out of my head because I was a baby ace and was like, ah!
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: But I am curious to see what your experience was with sex education.
KAYLA: Yeah, so here's the unfortunate thing. So, I grew up somewhere that was quite red. So, I can't imagine that my sex education was good. Here's the thing. I don't remember any of it. What I do, I don't know why I don't remember. I truly don't remember any of it. I do remember when we entered college and we… like our freshman year, had this thing called relationship remix where you went and they talked about like safe sex and like consent and stuff and they did the whole like putting a condom on a banana thing. And I’m pretty sure that's like the first time I had ever seen that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That, yeah. Which was like I was 18 and I think that I probably should have seen some kind of demonstration of a condom before.
SARAH: Yeah, I, yeah, I kind of have trouble remembering in part because I have a horrible memory and part because well baby ace just like… was like eh, I know like in fourth grade we had like guys and girls were separated and girls learned about like periods and stuff but we didn't really learn about sex. And then in seventh grade we learned more about sex and the thing I remember most clearly was this one kid like almost passed out. Like it got like, it stressed him out a lot. I’m not sure. Really the only thing I remember and then I remember in high school we had to take as a part of our gym requirement we had to do some health where they talked more about like condoms and like safe sex
KAYLA: See that's also the thing is my school allowed you to test out of health so I took… I like studied over the summer and then took a test and didn't have to take high school health
SARAH: See I did health online over the summer but I still had to take a semester of gym and there was a section of gym that was…
KAYLA: Oh, I also didn't have to take gym so
SARAH: Yeah, they've since changed that in my district where like if you do a varsity sport you can knock it out of gym so like…
KAYLA: Oh, see okay my school…
SARAH: Only if they had done that when I was in high school
KAYLA: My school used to do a thing where it was varsity athletes plus the bands didn't have to do it and then they took the varsity athletes away and it was just marching band that didn't have to do it
SARAH: Oh my God, what?
KAYLA: I don't know if that's still a thing but that's the reason I didn't do gym was because I was in marching band
SARAH: Oh boy yeah, I’m not sure… enough to do gym because I didn't need to I did so much fucking gymnastics I know
KAYLA: True
SARAH: Um
KAYLA: Yeah, I really don't remember sex ed what I do know is they were like… they were like parts of how like the female body worked and how periods worked that I did not know until I was like way too old
SARAH: Really like how old?
KAYLA: I don't want… what? Do you want me to say what it was? is it gross?
SARAH: Sure
KAYLA: So, you know how you have like discharge?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I thought something was like wrong with me
SARAH: oh my God
KAYLA: I thought I had like a disease
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Because I never was told that that was normal
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then I was… I had to be late… and I remember when I was studying for my health thing and we were reading the set me and my friend were studying together we were reading the section of the book about STDs and I remember looking to that section of the book looking for something that was like described like discharge like I was having and I was like do I have one of these because I'd never been taught
SARAH: Oh no
KAYLA: So, I was like late into high school when I was like saw on the internet like it's normal to have discharge, I was like “wait, really?”
SARAH: Yeah, I think like being taught about like menstrual health and just like periods in general is also something that's like major taboo that should really not be
KAYLA: Yeah, we have friends who didn't know what a period was until they got their first period
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is fine
SARAH: Yeah. I remember like I had some sort of talk with my mom at some point, I don't remember any of the contents of it, I just remember it happening
KAYLA: I don't even remember that
SARAH: Um I think she explained periods but I don't even know, like I really don't know, um
KAYLA: Yikes
SARAH: But… like when I got my period, I knew what it was, I was afraid to tell anyone but I did know
KAYLA: Of course, you were
SARAH: Oh no it was… it was rough, uh but yeah, I mean I think understanding just in general like what the fuck your body does and what the fuck bodies do
KAYLA: It could relieve a lot of stress, I was very stressed
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I thought I had a disease
SARAH: It’s so sad
KAYLA: Isn't that like the most pitiful you've ever heard?
SARAH: It really is
KAYLA: Like who allowed that
SARAH: Oh, it really is, also though just like relating kind of both of those things like okay yeah abstinence is the only 100% sure way to stay safe but it's not…
KAYLA: No have you seen Jane the Virgin?
SARAH: Okay that's a fake scenario
KAYLA: Okay well this one is even sadder
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Is that sometimes… well I get… okay sometimes there has been cases where you go to get artificially inseminated and the doctor puts the wrong juices but then I guess you've probably had sex before if you're getting artificially inseminated
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: This was really…
SARAH: I don't think I’m following this
KAYLA: The doctor will put in its own baby juices instead of that of the person they're trying to get pregnant with
SARAH: Oh, why?
KAYLA: Which is… uh because people are bad
SARAH: Jesus
KAYLA: Not… this isn't really related now that I think about it, it just came to me
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Sorry for the… sorry for the bummer
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SARAH: Um anyway I’m going to go ahead and say abstinence is only 100% sure safe
KAYLA: I disagree
SARAH: Jane the Virgin seems is a freak scenario, it could happen but you know for those of you who don't know Jane the Virgin she got… I've only seen the pilot but she like goes in to get like a pap smear or something but the doctor is like super tired and mixes her up with someone else and accidentally artificially inseminates her…
KAYLA: Well, you can also… I think so, there's also I don't know if this is true but I've heard that like if you sit on a toilet seat…
SARAH: I've also heard that
KAYLA: And there's stuff because sperm can live outside the body for like a week, which is horrifying and terrifying and the main reason I’m afraid of getting pregnant because who knows where those little guys are, they could be anywhere just alive
SARAH: Jesus, anyway…
KAYLA: Just roaming around my life
SARAH: Anyway, abstinence is not realistic for an entire population is what I’m just trying to get at um…
KAYLA: That’s fair
SARAH: And also, just like talking more openly about sex and the human body would lower the stigma around HIV/AIDS like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The more openly it's talked about the more humanized those people living with HIV and AIDS are, the more likely it is that we can expand effective treatment like why would we not I mean there's a lot of reasons why the issues with HIV and AIDS have… God it’s so deep but…
KAYLA: But even just like so… even just like any STDs of like the fact that like every time you get a new partner you should be getting tested or like the fact that like when you have a new partner you're supposed to ask them like are you clean like no one talks about that or like talks about how to have that conversation or like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The regularity with which you should like be going to get tested no matter what like…
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: No one talks about that stuff when you're taught abstinence only you're not taught to use birth control you're not taught to use condoms like that's why there's teen pregnancy because like if kids don't receive that information they're going to… some of them are going to have sex anyway like it's just… they're just going to
SARAH: Yeah, my um… so my cousin I have a cousin who got pregnant at 16 and she had her daughter at 17 um and now her daughter is 15 years old and everything is wonderful and great but like luckily, she had a very supportive family to like help her out, but my sister when this happened was… I don't know like eight… I don't know exactly what their age difference is but my sister um thought that you could just get pregnant like it would just happen to you
KAYLA: Oh, have I told you how I thought that people got pregnant?
SARAH: No hold on
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Um my sister was just like afraid that...
KAYLA: That is so funny
SARAH: at the age of 16 you just might be given a baby
KAYLA: Just hand… being handed one?
SARAH: Yeah, like you were made pregnant and then you birthed a baby…
KAYLA: That’s so funny
SARAH: And so it wasn't for a while before my sister understood that like no she had a baby because she engaged in sexual activities
KAYLA: That is very funny
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: When I was like in grade school I thought that you got pregnant by making out while naked
SARAH: You did tell me that
KAYLA: Like you are just kissing and naked
SARAH: I mean it is… it's close, it's close, it's pretty close
KAYLA: It's a gateway drug
SARAH: You can get pregnant
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: I mean you can get pregnant without being naked
KAYLA: That's true
SARAH: And you don't have to kiss them to get pregnant
KAYLA: It's also true but I feel like they usually go together
SARAH: They do, they tend to
KAYLA: So anyway that's… I… you can actually… I mean even though I don't remember my sex education I think you all can tell what kind I had just by… just by all of this
SARAH: Oh, dear yeah. I mean I would say my what my sister thought is reflective on our sex education but honestly, I’m not sure it is because my sister also thought that she had heart disease as a child
KAYLA: You both thought a lot of things to be fair
SARAH: Because of this pamphlet we got, when we got jump rope for heart, she was convinced she had heart disease…
KAYLA: Because she jump roped?
SARAH: No, because she was feeling anxiety
KAYLA: You both thought a lot of things as children
SARAH: Are you thinking about me thinking legs went to heaven because that makes sense?
KAYLA: We don't… I feel like we've talked about this and I don't think we need to anymore, can we just do…
SARAH: You need to max me up on this
KAYLA: Can we do a full episode of just like your weird childhood shit?
SARAH: Like how I wore tights under my pants…
KAYLA: Yeah, that is the one I was thinking of, yes and like your lip and…
SARAH: That's not weird, that's just a very specific…
KAYLA: Well, it's endearing if anything
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I feel like we…
SARAH: I don't know… I don't know how to feel about the fact that you have just used the word endearing to describe something I do
KAYLA: Well, I don't think it's endearing anymore I think your baby pictures of like chubby Sarah doing it is endearing and your wedding picture
SARAH: Oh I… For a second I thought you meant like my future wedding picture…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And I was like, “you’ve seen my future wedding?”
KAYLA: Your first your first communion picture that looks like you're a tiny bride
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because you're marrying Jesus
SARAH: Yeah, and that went well, didn't it?
KAYLA: Yeah, I’d say so a healthy marriage
SARAH: Um but yeah…
KAYLA: Uh where were we?
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: We’re back baby
SARAH: We're back baby, anyway I think sex being such taboo is a detriment to us all and this is coming from an ace who doesn't have sex and is uncomfortable talking about shit like this I still think we should
KAYLA: It makes sex bad and dangerous
SARAH: Yeah, and like I’m not saying that we should force people to be like publicly open about your own sexual habits because that's no bueno, if you want to go for it but like not everyone has to do that but there are other ways to approach it and to just make it less of a taboo
KAYLA: Also, I think like it's a lot more of a taboo for women to talk about sex than men
SARAH: Absolutely
KAYLA: Which I think also feeds into the fact that like usually men are probably having better sex than women because women don't talk about the fact that they aren't having good sex
SARAH: Yeah, I would really suggest that Medium article, I can send it to…
KAYLA: You should put it on the Twitter
SARAH: Yeah, I can put it somewhere um but it was just really interesting talking about like how everything is about men's pleasure and nothing is about women's
KAYLA: I feel like even… I feel like it's becoming popular now for like Vogue or like Elle or whatever to like write articles about like women's sex does matter blah blah blah but like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I don't even know that those are doing enough you know
SARAH: Yeah, I mean it's such… it's such an ingrained thing like the article was saying how like there are a lot of people who like… because like… you like… people like faking orgasms like men are taught to believe that that's what an orgasm is supposed to look like from the porn that they watch and then when women that they're with are faking orgasms they don't know it because why would they and then like five years into a relationship when that person is just like I don't want to have sex with you anymore they're like oh it's her fault but it's like no you were…
KAYLA: You've been bad the whole time
SARAH: She has been having bad sex this whole time
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like… I don't know man. And then it's like a lot of people might look at me and be like okay you're an aro-ace person who doesn't fuck so why do you care so much about this uh I don't know because I care about people being safe and also like ace folks who don’t have sex aren't any better than anyone else like they just experience the world differently and they make different choices and so like I want to help protect those people from bad shit as long as everything is safe and consensual why do you fucking care what other people do?
KAYLA: True and it's like you also know that it's like important to a good amount of people
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, like why wouldn't you care about something that's important to many people
SARAH: Yeah. And it's like people are like shamed for like… I don't know like sex or masturbation or whatever but it's like if you dig deep on that there is no valid reason for shaming those people, like why is it shameful? Because God says it is? Why does God say it is? I don't know? Like there's really no…
KAYLA: Sarah, can I ask you a deeply um offensive question?
SARAH: Sure
KAYLA: Do you think Jesus masturbated?
SARAH: Uh I’m going to say yes
KAYLA: Am I going to hell?
SARAH: I’m going to say yes, we're all going to hell Kayla don't worry
KAYLA: He… I mean he definitely fucked Mary Magdalene so it's like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Not super far off
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Do you think that the apostles had an orgy?
SARAH: I don't know that I would go that far
KAYLA: Well, that's no fun, is it? I’m going to hell
SARAH: We're all going to hell, and you know what? If people have made their decisions about having premarital sex and you think they're going to go to hell that's not your problem
KAYLA: It's not
SARAH: It's really not your problem
KAYLA: Isn't it better for people to be like, “I hate when people have premarital sex you're going to hell” it's like cool, I didn't want to hang out with you anyway
SARAH: I know and also like depending on the sect I believe Mormons I think it is who believes that there is a limited number of people who go to heaven, maybe it's not because they're always trying to recruit people, I don't know
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: But like if they think there's a limited number of people that are going to make it to heaven like cool you're out of the running like I… less competition for me
KAYLA: It's all bad
SARAH: It's stupid, that's all the things I had written down, but I feel like there are so many things we could talk about here
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: I also just thought of like leaked nudes and like revenge porn and stuff like if… I mean that's obviously awful no matter what, because that's doing something against someone's consent but I feel like people wouldn't be so like oh my god this woman is naked blah blah blah like it wouldn't be such a controversy if sex wasn't so taboo you know?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Or like people wouldn't be able to leverage it because they would be like oh no one is going to care so why would I leak this
SARAH: Right, exactly like um representative Katie Hill uh from California a couple of weeks ago had to resign from the House because um of some… well two reasons one apparently she was in an inappropriate relationship with someone who worked in her campaign but also because an ex of hers revenge porned her and it's like she when she stepped down she was basically like I’m not stepping down because I think it's wrong that like I took these pictures like that's not… that's not why I’m doing this and she was basically saying that like you know this is the fact that this happened to me is shitty and it shouldn't happen to anyone and I think she more so stepped down because of the relationship she had that was apparently inappropriate with her person and her whatever
KAYLA: I feel like there was a… I forget who it was or if this is even true but like a celebrity who someone like had their nudes and was like you need to pay me x amount of money or I’m leaking them and then they leaked them themselves they like put their naked pictures like on Twitter and was like you can't blackmail me I’ll do it my fucking self
SARAH: Honestly…
KAYLA: Like that's… yeah that's like dope shit
SARAH: Yeah also worth noting Katie Hill is bisexual
KAYLA: Tea
SARAH: Um so that may have got something to do with it
KAYLA: Yeah, that probably didn't work in for her favor
SARAH: Yeah, so fun
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: We love it, uh TLDR talk more about sex but also don't like… don't like just start saying explicit things to people
KAYLA: No that's bad
SARAH: Like that's not… like just be more open about talking about sex in general, if people are uncomfortable respect that but you know the more, we talk about it the more we normalize it the less people will be uncomfortable in general
KAYLA: True
SARAH: I think that's a good thing
KAYLA: I agree
SARAH: Nothing matters okay um… what is our… do you have anything else to add?
KAYLA: Um no
SARAH: Okay. What's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Uh yes
SARAH: That's not a poll
KAYLA: Could be
SARAH: Um I’m going to ask you to think again should we… should sex be less of a social taboo? Yes or yes?
KAYLA: That’s a lame question… oh okay. Um have we done a poll before about like what was your sex education like? I feel like we've done that before
SARAH: I think so
KAYLA: Okay well, we can do yours then
SARAH: Yes or yes?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay, uh what is your beef and your juice?
KAYLA: Hold on I’m typing
SARAH: Oh okay
KAYLA: I got to put the poll in
SARAH: Put the poll in
KAYLA: Breaking the poll, well I’m changing it slightly it's going to be a surprise for everyone except me
SARAH: Okay, fun
KAYLA: You go on, I’m still typing
SARAH: Okay well I have some thematic juice because my juice… one of my juices is a song and I sent this song to Kayla and I was like this is very out of character for me but I really like this song…
KAYLA: This was like forever ago
SARAH: Yeah, I know. The song is called Xexual by Naked, it's wild but I didn't realize what the album art was when I first sent it to Kayla because Spotify you know sometimes Spotify gives you like the things that are moving instead of like the actual album art
KAYLA: I really like music videos and stuff
SARAH: Yeah, um I got that and so I never actually saw like the actual album art and then I sent it to Kayla and I was slapped in the face by the fact that oh the album art is just the album…
KAYLA: Very wild
SARAH: It's just a girl with her hand down her pants and I was like oh okay
KAYLA: It was very wild
SARAH: It's a bop though, it's a really good song, so, it's also all about open communication regarding sex
KAYLA: Tea
SARAH: So there's that uh other juice is um so I know I can't shut up about Schitt's Creek but um there's a playlist on Spotify of a bunch of the songs from the soundtrack and honestly it's just a really good playlist like big ups to Dan Levy for all of his choices, it's like… it's also funny though because it's like a lot of songs are like very like gentle like reverent and loving and there's a small scene eternal interlude and then like you know more like gentle songs and then you get slapped across the face with the song called “a little bit Alexis” which is a work of art
KAYLA: It sounds like an intense song
SARAH: Yeah, there's only like 30 seconds worth of it in the show but they have a full song on Spotify um… I’ll give you some sample lyrics off the top of my head, “I’m expensive sushi, I’m a cute huge yacht, I’m a little bit single even when I’m not” also “everybody has got a horse nay”
KAYLA: That's… yeah
SARAH: Those are some of my favorite lyrics from the song, so just imagine you're listening to like this nice playlist and then all of a sudden that… it's funny, my beef… I didn't write down any um… My beef is that I have recently come to terms with the fact that like I’m about to be an adult like soon like…
KAYLA: True
SARAH: Like I’m packing to move across the country…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Um and that uh stresses me out
KAYLA: It is very wild
SARAH: Yes. What is your beef and juice?
KAYLA: Um my juice is this… okay so I’m a big fan of phone games, always on the prowl for a good phone app game if you have any suggestions let me know I found one called Solosquare, it's like a solitaire-esque thing where you have to like stack cards, but it's different um it's very good, I’m very addicted
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I don't think that we've podded since I’ve had this big life moment but there is a TikTok where…
SARAH: We haven't no you're right, that's a spoiler though
KAYLA: Fuck you're right cut that out… there's this… are you going to cut it out?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I feel like you're not going to, there's this…
SARAH: I will
KAYLA: Are you winking… I can feel you…
SARAH: I’m not winking
KAYLA: I can feel you winking
SARAH: I’ll leave this part where you asked me to cut it out but I've said I’m going to and you keep not believing me Kayla said something that was a spoiler and she won't believe me that I’ll cut it out
KAYLA: Okay fine, well I mean if you follow me on Twitter you've already seen a spoiler because I was like freaking out about it
SARAH: Sure
KAYLA: Um but there's this TikTok and it's just like you know sometimes something like really tickles you just like really really gets you um that's what happened and I laughed about it for so long and I cried about it and I posted everywhere and I made everyone at work watch it and I made everyone in my DND podcast watch it and then I talked about it during our DND podcast and started crying again
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: And it's just very funny and good and… my cat just yeah, ma'am and um yes also
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Ma'am shut up, also I my cat went on a plane for the first time and she did very well
SARAH: She was so good
KAYLA: And she met my dog and they have an uneasy alliance to just look at each other and then walk away
SARAH: Oh my god um
KAYLA: Here's my cat right now, standing right next to my mic, it looks like she's recording it's adorable. So those are some juices, my beef is that um yes and it's cold and it's getting dark before I… the cat just fell off the desk…
SARAH: Did you just yes and nothing?
KAYLA: Yes, and… it's how good I am at improv is like an yes and anything and nothing. It gets dark at like I feel like this was already my beef but it gets dark at like four and that's before I even leave work so I literally…
SARAH: Yeah, because you're on the…
KAYLA: I’m on that nine to five grind
SARAH: Well also me and Kayla grew up in Michigan which is on the western half of the Eastern time zone so like…
KAYLA: Oh, you still have sun?
SARAH: It's eight o'clock at night no I don't
KAYLA: Well, I know but what time does your sun set?
SARAH: Well, it's like a half an hour different maybe
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Um so like not only is it like winter now for both of us but for you you're used to it like being a little bit different just because we're close to the edge… the western edge of the time zone
KAYLA: I didn't even know that
SARAH: Yeah
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: Well, that… oh wow I didn't even know that anyway it's really ass because I don't get any sun unless I take a stroll to the gas station to get caffeine because I’m like in the office all day and then when I leave it's pitch blackout
SARAH: That sucks
KAYLA: Which is depressing
SARAH: It's unfortunate
KAYLA: It is
SARAH: All right, um tell us about your juice, your beef
KAYLA: Your phone games
SARAH: Your phone games, your favorite part of the Patreon exclusive for last week
KAYLA: Someone… oh a video on my Instagram, I went to look at our Instagram and now it's someone giving birth
SARAH: Oh Jesus
KAYLA: Right in front of me, no I’m leaving
SARAH: Yeah, that would stress me out
KAYLA: See that's another thing though, I don't think I watched that in sex ed either and I probably should have
SARAH: No, it's the sort of thing where it's like I wish I were more comfortable with but I’m just not
KAYLA: Well, but there's a head coming out of a vagina
SARAH: Wait don't remind me okay we also have a patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $2 patrons are Keith Mcblaine, Roxanne, Aliceisinspace, Anonymous, Mariah Walter, Jonathan Christopher T Verdieri, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Ninny, Courtney Jones, Eric B, Amanda Juntenon, Maddie and Purple Haze, Purple Haze
KAYLA: Purple Haze
SARAH: It's like purple rain but Haze
KAYLA: We had a long discussion before we started recording about what kind of purple haze it, was it someone with the last name haze who was also purple was it a haze with a z that was purple no because it's not so z is it haze like the plural of what horses eat but…
SARAH: That is not how you pluralize purple
KAYLA: Well, but it could, anyway
SARAH: It’s not, welcome our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Fenny, Perry Fierro, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, Ryan Lutcieti, Book Marvel, Changeling MX, Derrick and Karissa and Simona, I don't know how to say this last name you have and I googled it and the internet gave me nothing
KAYLA: Uh a special note for Derrick and Karissa
SARAH: I love you
KAYLA: Just the sweetest people in the world
SARAH: Very, very sweet
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Not that the other ones aren't it's just we had an interaction…
KAYLA: Well, it's just a very supportive dad who we love
SARAH: Yes, so it's wonderful, um but to Derrick and Karissa and Simona welcome thank you for your support
KAYLA: Welcome, thank you. Simona, tell us how to say your name
SARAH: Tell us how to say your name. $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin @tessa_m_k, Arceness who'd like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who'd like to promote tabletop games, Anonymous who is still promoting Halloween question mark
KAYLA: Yep
SARAH: Sarah McCoy who'd like to promote a podcast from a planet weird and my aunt Jennie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven. I went and I saw knives out with my aunt Jennie and my two cousins, what a great film?
KAYLA: Jennie sometimes like comments on my Tweets and says nice things and it's…
SARAH: Nice
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: Um our 15 patrons are Nathaniel White, nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs, Sarah Jones who can be found @eternallolli everywhere and dragonfly who is going to promote um…
KAYLA: You know what dragonfly is going to promote?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: It's my next beef that I just thought of
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Um all right a late beef, uh my aunt… me and my sister… my family took very cute thanksgiving pictures, my cat was in a turkey hat…
SARAH: You looked like candy corn
KAYLA: I know and you know I really need to start running my outfits by you before I wear them because every time I wear something I think is cute you tell me it looks like something else such as a Minion or a candy corn, anyway my aunt posted this very nice picture of my sister and I… which to be honest we did look great but some lady that she was friends with on Facebook and this is on my Twitter so you might have seen it commented they are absolutely gorgeous and then the separate… a separate comment ages I’m shopping for daughter-in-laws um, this isn't like an age sex location like forum where you're dating and also you can't… I’m out of stock
SARAH: Also, your sister is engaged
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: We're in a committed relationship
KAYLA: We're both out of stock, you can't… we're spoiled
SARAH: Out of stock?
KAYLA: We are… I had a good word for it earlier, we're unavailable for purchase, we've been sold already
SARAH: Oh, your real estate agent Evan helps you, right?
KAYLA: Oh yeah, I should actually tell Evan, my real estate about this. I’ll get right on that
SARAH: What a very specific niche joke that no one who's listening to this podcast will get because…
KAYLA: Because none of our friends listen to this podcast
SARAH: Okay, um well thank you for listening tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears and there actually will be an episode next Sunday unlike our last shenanigans
KAYLA: Tea, and until then, take good care of your cows
SARAH: It's time for a secret edition
KAYLA: Here it is, take it away
SARAH: Hey what's up hello welcome to sounds fake but okay a podcast where an aro-ace girl I’m Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love relationships, sexuality and anything else we might… we just… whoa
KAYLA: Wait that was wrong
SARAH: That was wrong
KAYLA: That was like all wrong
SARAH: Whoa it has been like two weeks, hold on, say your part, I’m leaving all this in our listeners are going to get this say your part again
KAYLA: You can't leave this in
SARAH: I’m leaving it in
KAYLA: I want… my cat is right next to my microphone I feel like you are going to be able to hear her breathing. Anyway, wait you have to start all over I can't do it…
SARAH: Oh no
KAYLA: I can't do it without the prompt, I literally don’t know how to say it. Like I can’t think about… if you ask me I can on point, like just to say my part…
SARAH: I’m going to have to look at the fucking script that I haven't looked at in years
KAYLA: Hey what's up hello, that's your part
SARAH: Yeah, I know
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]