Ep 190: Relaxcast
(00:00)
SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA:… and a demisexual girl (that’s me, Kayla)
SARAH: talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: relaxcast.
ALL: — Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Imagine if we just had an acoustic version.
KAYLA: Wait is it possible?
SARAH: I don’t think so—I mean it’s possible but it’s not going to happen before this episode.
KAYLA: But like we could crowdsource it.
SARAH: We could.
KAYLA: What if I just offer—
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Mmm… what’s a relaxing mm?
SARAH: What if we just say mmmmm’assage.
KAYLA: M’assage. Mmmmm.
SARAH: Just mmmm.
KAYLA: Mmmmm. This episode’s going to have a lot of—what’s it called when your voice gets all crackly? Vocal fry?
SARAH: Vocal fr-aaaa-yyy.
KAYLA: Big vocal fry.
SARAH: Kayla what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, I don’t know what we’re talking about.
SARAH: Here’s the thing.
KAYLA: Isn’t that beautiful?
SARAH: We had an episode scheduled for this week but Kayla and I are both—I’m in Michigan at my parents’ house, she’s still in San Francisco and we both have done a lot of socializing and we’re very tired. And so we decided—
KAYLA: My body is unwell. And not ready for energy.
SARAH: So we decided to do a bit of relaxcast for you today. Me and Kayla—you’re in a bed, right?
KAYLA: I am in a bed.
SARAH: I’m in my bed too. I have a table I could record from but I didn’t want to so I’m just in my bed. We’re just doing a relaxcast. Some people have said that they fall asleep listening to our podcast and we’re just encouraging that at this time.
KAYLA: I really enjoy falling asleep to podcasts. There’s one called The Empty Bowl that’s by one of the McElroy brothers and another man whom I do not remember his name, it’s a podcast just about cereal and they do it in very relaxing voices and they have soothing music and I like falling asleep to that.
SARAH: That’s good.
KAYLA: There’s also Sleep With Me which is just the man just rambles for an hour and you fall asleep to it.
SARAH: Yeah. I could never do that but I hear a lot of people do. To be clear, this is not going to be an ASMR podcast because I hate ASMR.
KAYLA: (whispering) What if it is? What if it was a ASMR podcast?
SARAH: Kayla. Kayla. This relaxcast is about to get very violent.
KAYLA: Oh no. That’s not very relaxing.
SARAH: That’s not relaxing at all.
KAYLA: You would not believe the non-relaxing sounds that I just had to witness.
SARAH: I’m sure that I will have cut them out but they’re worse than dogs barking.
KAYLA: Not very relaxing.
SARAH: Not relaxing.
KAYLA: It’s not relaxing, we won’t subject you to that.
SARAH: It’s not relaxing. But yeah we’re just here to ramble this week. If you’re really here for specifically aspec content and you don’t care about us, feel free to skip this one.
KAYLA: If you recently—we got a lot of Twitter followers this week. So maybe not the best week to do this. If you recently followed us and were here for aspec content, there’s literally almost 200 episodes.
SARAH: There’s a lot in the backlog. Find another episode to listen to.
KAYLA: There’s a lot of good informational ones out there. So.
SARAH: We’re really vibing this week. Just vibes.
KAYLA: This is a vibecast. A good vibes only cast. We can do some affirmations maybe. An affirmation cast.
SARAH: A validation cast. All of our aspecs are so valid.
(5:00)
KAYLA: One day we’ll do a carcast. I still want to do a carcast one.
SARAH: Kayla has been asking to do a carcast for so long.
KAYLA: And one day, we should go on a road trip one day and just carcast.
SARAH: I’m concerned about background noise in the carcast.
KAYLA: Won’t get better at editing.
SARAH: We would have to get Lav Mics.
KAYLA: That could be fun. Make me feel very fancy.
SARAH: Okay. Anything to make Kayla feel fancy.
KAYLA: That’s what I always say.
SARAH: Good. Oh man. Where do we want to go from here, Kayla?
KAYLA: I don’t know, maybe some affirmations?
SARAH: Well, I think what we should do first is everyone should hydrate right now.
KAYLA: That’s very good and I’ll give you a little secret and a little way of don’t be me. I haven’t had a drop of water today.
SARAH: Kayla, hydrate or once again this podcast will become violent.
KAYLA: Okay. I did have the small amount of water you have when you’re brushing your teeth.
SARAH: I was just feeling thirsty so I decided to make us all hydrate.
KAYLA: Maybe let’s do what they do at the beginning of a meditation where they’re like, so everyone first have a drink. Pause the podcast if you need. Get some water.
SARAH: Get in a comfortable position.
KAYLA: Yeah that’s what I was going to do next. You got ahead of me.
SARAH: I’m sorry.
KAYLA: I’m really channeling the guided meditation voices I like to listen to when I do a guided meditation. Maybe it’ll be a new career for me.
SARAH: This is just me being tired.
KAYLA: That’s fair.
SARAH: That’s all.
KAYLA: Okay now that you’ve had a sip of water, put the water next to you.
SARAH: What if I want to put it on top of my head?
KAYLA: I mean if you want to turn it also into a balancing exercise.
SARAH: Or alternatively, a bath.
KAYLA: Someone just emailed us but only addressed it to you.
SARAH: Oh, how does that make you feel?
KAYLA: That’s pretty rude.
SARAH: Okay. I’m sorry to hear that.
KAYLA: Anyway. Now that your water is somewhere, let’s find a comfortable position. You could also be in a bed like us.
SARAH: I would like to clarify if you’re currently driving a car, get as comfortable as you can while still driving safely.
KAYLA: Please don’t close your eyes to relax or anything like that. If you must, pull over.
SARAH: Lean into the seat a bit.
KAYLA: If you’re really into this, and you feel as though you need to do this right now, you should probably pull over.
SARAH: Yeah we don’t condone dangerous driving here at Sounds Fake But Okay relaxcast. Or our regular podcast.
KAYLA: This is a subsidiary. This episode. I do feel bad, I’m sure there’s people who only listen to the podcast when they’re driving. This is their podcast time. And now they’re like this isn’t interesting.
SARAH: If you’re driving and you’re getting too tired, wake up, it’s Christmas. If not.
KAYLA: Maybe next week we’ll do a wake up cast.
SARAH: I don’t think I have the energy.
KAYLA: I mean I certainly don’t. I’ll have to drink like 15 hour energy or something. Anyway. If you’re not driving or operating heavy machinery, just get relaxed. I’m a big proponent of laying on the floor. I’m not doing it currently but I love a floor lay.
SARAH: Here at Sounds Fake But Okay relax cast—
KAYLA: LLC—
SARAH: We condone floor time.
KAYLA: Mmhmm, but only if you’re not operating heavy machinery.
SARAH: That’s true.
KAYLA: Or if you are pregnant or plan to be pregnant.
SARAH: Pregnant people can’t lay on the ground?
KAYLA: I’m just being one of those commercials, you know?
SARAH: I know you are.
KAYLA: I will say if you’re far off along, laying on the floor is probably difficult cause it’d be hard to get up.
SARAH: That is true. That’s very true. That’s valid.
KAYLA: Now that we’re comfortable, now what?
SARAH: I think you’re all great.
KAYLA: Mm, okay.
(10:00)
SARAH: That’s my affirmation for the class.
KAYLA: Okay. I’m going to look up affirmations.
SARAH: You know who’s valid, Kayla? Aces. Ace specs. Aros. Arospecs. Demis. Greyaces. Greyaros. WTAFaces or quoiaces and also quoiaros. All of them. Just all of them.
KAYLA: They’re very valid.
SARAH: So valid. And if I didn’t list yours, I’m sorry. It’s cause there’s a lot.
KAYLA: But that doesn’t make you any less valid.
SARAH: You’re actually in fact maybe more valid so jot that down.
KAYLA: I just Googled affirmations and I found 35 affirmations that will change your life. Would you like to hear some of them?
SARAH: Let’s get our lives changed. Let’s go.
KAYLA: I—sorry these are funny. I am the architect of my life. I build its foundation and choose its contents.
SARAH: Okay, valid but I have not been to architecture school and I haven’t been trained in this.
KAYLA: That’s fair.
SARAH: Additionally, I am bad at making decisions and as such, being told that I can build it how I please is not always going to be reassuring to me.
KAYLA: That’s fair I would rather someone just give me a foundation. And most of the contents. And maybe I can choose a few.
SARAH: Found my dation, you know.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What’s the next one?
KAYLA: Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.
SARAH: That’s simply—I disagree.
KAYLA: Certainly at least one of those is not true currently.
SARAH: The whole point of this relaxcast is so we don’t have to be brimming with energy. And we don’t have to put on our podcast personas. To be clear, our podcast personas are still us, they just require a lot more energy than we currently have.
KAYLA: My body is healthy. My mind is brilliant. My soul is tranquil.
SARAH: Okay here’s the thing though. My life is brilliant. My mind is pure. Saying that your body is healthy. That won’t heal a broken leg.
KAYLA: Manifestation is very powerful, Sarah.
SARAH: That won’t make your COVID go away. You know? So I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, this is a hard, hard turn. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this and my dad just pointed it out, I keep pronouncing sure and “shoor.” I just noticed it on my own and was like wow it’s weird that I noticed my own vocal tick myself. And then my dad was like, “are you from Chicago?”
KAYLA: Do they say that?
SARAH: Apparently in Chicago they say “shoor.” So that’s just a note for the class. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed but I for some reason started saying “shoor” instead of sure. I guess I do that now.
KAYLA: That’s exciting.
SARAH: I don’t think I got it from anybody. I just started.
KAYLA: Just started. Well, you’ve been alone for a year so a lot can happen.
SARAH: It’s true.
KAYLA: Now that I’m in California, I’ve gotten a few comments on my accent.
SARAH: What do they say?
KAYLA: Everyone says it’s so cute but I don’t think that’s true. I think it’s there. Several people on the internet have told me it’s incredibly terrible so.
SARAH: Grating I believe.
KAYLA: Grating is what they said. Lot of mixed signals that I’m getting but you know what? Number 4. I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions. So.
SARAH: Now when you first said I am superior I was like, is this like a white supremacist thing?
KAYLA: Sarah this is supposed to be a good vibes cast.
SARAH: Yeah the good vibes is that it’s not a white supremacist thing.
KAYLA: I do think that this affirmation is good for aces and aros though who might be getting some hate. We are simply superior.
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, can you say bandana sauce?
KAYLA: Bandana sauce?
SARAH: Good, that’s just to help me when I’m editing to line it back up because my audio stopped.
KAYLA: That was very specific.
SARAH: It was just some of the first words that came to my mind. I wanted them to be not words that would normally be said during the podcast. Anyway I forgot what we were saying because I accidentally stopped my audio and I couldn’t get it to work for a minute.
(15:00)
KAYLA: I was saying that aspecs and arospecs are superior.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Someone is very loudly interrupting the relax cast. Would you like to say - come here. We’re doing a relax cast this week. Would you like to say something relaxing?
DEAN: Hey everyone.
KAYLA: No I don’t like this voice.
SARAH: I hate—this is terrifying.
KAYLA: I did not like that, you can leave now.
DEAN: Okay, I will leave.
KAYLA: Goodbye.
DEAN: Remember kids, stay relaxed.
KAYLA: This is horrifying. I’m very sorry if you were about to fall asleep to the relax cast and if you were spirited back to consciousness by that absolute terror.
SARAH: I need to go downstairs and get my mom cause I’m afraid.
KAYLA: I’m also afraid.
SARAH: I thought it was a cat and then I heard a non cat voice. I was like, ohhh I forgot that you’re not with the cats right now and I assumed it was a cat.
KAYLA: Thinking of not being with my cats currently is not good vibes. Going to move on.
SARAH: I’m sorry. What are the best vibes? The best vibes are the best vibes. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
KAYLA: Would you like another affirmation?
SARAH: Sure. See? See? I just said it.
KAYLA: I didn’t pay attention. I’ll try to listen next time.
SARAH: Okay thank you.
KAYLA: I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.
SARAH: I think the detaching is good but I feel like sometimes you need some time to forgive people if you want to forgive them or you can say no.
KAYLA: I don’t think forgiveness is always necessary. I think detaching can often be good.
SARAH: I think forgiveness really depends on first of all, how forgiving of a person you are and second of all.
KAYLA: What they did.
SARAH: If they committed murder, maybe there’s no need.
KAYLA: If they interrupted your relaxcast with a horrible voice, probably won’t ever forgive them.
SARAH: Yeah. This is a forgiveness-neutral relaxcast.
KAYLA: Here at Sounds Fake But Okay relaxcast, we are forgiveness-neutral.
SARAH: Do with it what you will.
KAYLA: Would you like another one?
SARAH: Sure. See I was thinking about it and I said it.
KAYLA: (If you’re married) My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper, and more stable each day.
SARAH: That is just objectively not true.
KAYLA: This is another one where I don’t know that just saying it makes it true. I don’t know that just saying that your marriage is good makes your marriage good.
SARAH: If your marriage is falling apart, doing this affirmation won’t necessarily help. You know what might help? I don’t know, going to couples’ therapy? Or actually dealing with your problems.
KAYLA: (For business owners) My business is growing, expanding and thriving.
SARAH: Okay once again that could be objectively false.
KAYLA: You want another false one? We’ll get back to good vibes but I just want to give one last false one.
SARAH: Mmkay one more falsefication.
KAYLA: Happiness is a choice. I base my happiness on my accomplishments and the blessings I’ve been given. No.
SARAH: Okay. No. What if my accomplishments are none? And therefore I can’t be happy? Are you saying that just because I’m working hard? Just because it’s not coming to fruition for reasons outside of my control that I am just choosing not to be happy for that reason? That’s some bullashita.
KAYLA: I’m a powerhouse. I am indestructible.
SARAH: She’s a brick.
KAYLA: House.
SARAH: House.
KAYLA: (For those who are single) The perfect partner for me is coming into my life sooner than I expect.
(20:00)
SARAH: Okay. Now. This is some amatonormative buffoonery and I don’t find amatonormativity relaxing.
KAYLA: Sorry we’ll move on. Taken a turn here. Let me find like a gay affirmation. Queer inspiration and affirmation. Pinterest. Being straight was my phase.
SARAH: That’s not an affirmation but it’s funny.
KAYLA: My little boy went to a lesbian wedding and told my mom he saw two princesses getting married.
SARAH: That’s not an affirmation that’s a story.
KAYLA: Yeah. Affirmation. LGBTQ Mormon. Interesting. 101 positive affirmations for gay men.
SARAH: Hold one, what was this LGTQ Mormon thing?
KAYLA: It was just a website called affirmation.org for queer mormons.
SARAH: Oh just for queer mormons. I thought the affirmation was LGBTQ mormons.
KAYLA: I say that to myself every morning when I wake up.
SARAH: It really starts my day off on the right foot.
KAYLA: I’m looking at these 101 positive affirmations for gay men. They don’t see very gay man specific in my opinion.
SARAH: Okay give me one.
KAYLA: My body has its own wisdom and I trust that wisdom completely. Is only the body of a gay man wise?
SARAH: What about a lesbian? What about an aroace? Is my body not wise?
KAYLA: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
SARAH: Okay. You’re welcome, you’re welcome, you’re welcome.
KAYLA: I am strong and healthy. Only gay men are strong and healthy.
SARAH: Only gay men have permission to be strong and healthy in fact.
KAYLA: Well that was a bust wasn’t it?
SARAH: Well there can be no busts there because it was for gay men.
KAYLA: There can be gay men with busts Sarah.
SARAH: That’s true, you’re right. I retract my previous statement. We love a busty boy.
KAYLA: Five affirmations for asexual people struggling with self-acceptance.
SARAH: Okay, hit me with it. Gently cause this is a relaxcast.
KAYLA: From everydayfeminism.com
SARAH: Mmkay.
KAYLA: Okay these are actually kind of sweet.
SARAH: Okay hit me with it gently.
KAYLA: Okay shut up.
SARAH: Folks we keep stopping our audio because we are physically holding our mics.
KAYLA: Did a little giggle.
SARAH: A ruining giggle.
KAYLA: Kay are you ready?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I am whole and okay. Just as I am.
SARAH: That’s true.
KAYLA: I am worthy of a romantic relationship if I choose to have one.
SARAH: That’s much better than the amatonormative bullshit.
KAYLA: I create my own ideas about what my relationship will look like.
SARAH: That’s true. Ignore society. Society sucks.
KAYLA: I am still allowed to say no.
SARAH: That’s true. You are always allowed to say no regardless of whether you are ace or not.
KAYLA: I am ace enough.
SARAH: That’s true you are all ace enough.
KAYLA: This one was very good. Who wrote this?
SARAH: That one was gentle and relaxing.
KAYLA: Shae Collins from 2016. It’s very good.
SARAH: Oh thanks, Shae.
KAYLA: Shae.
SARAH: Appreciate your efforts.
KAYLA: That was very nice.
SARAH: Would you like to know something reassuring?
KAYLA: Mmhmm.
SARAH: I don’t have gingivitis.
KAYLA: That’s very reassuring. I’m so very happy to hear that.
SARAH: Turns out I just “traumatized” my gum.
KAYLA: This isn’t very relaxing anymore.
SARAH: It’s okay, it’s relaxing because I don’t have gingivitis. I brushed too hard or something I don’t know.
KAYLA: There is a Tumblr called affirm-ace-ions.
SARAH: Ohh.
KAYLA: They do daily affirmation.
SARAH: Tell me more.
KAYLA: I will.
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: This one is affirmation 853.
(25:00)
SARAH: That’s so many.
KAYLA: You’re not bad for being an ace with low empathy. You’re not a stereotype - you are you, and you are wonderful exactly as you are. People who would malign other aces because of you do not make you a bad person. Their poor behavior reflects badly on them - not on you.
SARAH: This is accurate. I am once again recording. I once again stopped. Luckily when I stopped recording and I said some things that are less relaxing, they’re not being recorded.
KAYLA: Okay, would you like some aromantic affirmations?
SARAH: I would love to be affirmed.
KAYLA: This is from pondering aro on Tumblr dot com. I do not owe anyone an explanation about my identity.
SARAH: That’s true.
KAYLA: I don’t owe anyone a disclaimer about the way I do or do not love others.
SARAH: That’s also true.
KAYLA: I am allowed to exist in the world however I want or need.
SARAH: That’s true as long as you’re not committing murder. I mean there are other things that you shouldn’t do but you know, it’s the whole as long as you’re not hurting anyone mantra.
KAYLA: That’s very true. This is from aropositivle-no it’s not. It’s from aropositivity.
SARAH: Aropositivlety.
KAYLA: On tumblr dot com. Be the example of being aro that you wish you had when you were discovering your orientation. You may not have had someone to light your way but you can be that for other aros.
SARAH: That’s true but at the same time you don’t have to put that pressure on yourself if you don’t want to.
KAYLA: That’s true, you should only do that if you want to.
SARAH: Yes. The best way to be an aro is to do whatever the fuck you want.
KAYLA: Is by being aro.
SARAH: Yes correct. Good. You know what I think is good? Rain. It’s less good when thunderstorms interrupt your trip to Cedar Point for several hours. However, I do appreciate when weather happens because once again I live in a place that doesn’t have any weather. And I have experienced weather here and as much as that can sometimes be annoying, I do appreciate weather that changes. I think that is a nice thing to appreciate on this relaxcast.
KAYLA: I think that’s very good.
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: Weather is very nice.
SARAH: Yes sometimes it can be dangerous for example if it’s a hurricane or a tornado.
KAYLA: This is getting not relaxing, isn’t it?
SARAH: I was going to start talking about climate change, but I won’t. You’re welcome.
KAYLA: Sarah, I think you’re forgetting the point of this relaxcast.
SARAH: This relaxcast is very relaxing. Everything is relaxing. Here’s the deal, Kayla. We can’t pretend that difficult things don’t exist for the sake of the relaxcast. We just have to think about them in not a good way because they’re bad but we just have to think about them in a hopeful way, a positive way. We have to just let our brains to not dwell on the bad things in this relaxcast you know?
KAYLA: Mmhmm. Or we can ignore them for an hour.
SARAH: I don’t think your therapist would approve of just ignoring problems.
KAYLA: What about for just an hour?
SARAH: I guess it depends on what the problems are. You know what’s good? I saw a good video on french toast today.
KAYLA: I saw a video recently of someone putting raspberries on french toast.
SARAH: It came with strawberries or cinnamon apples and I was like this is great news because usually they offer berries with such things but I don’t like berries. You know what I do like? Cinnamon apples.
(30:00)
KAYLA: What’s that weird snack you eat?
SARAH: My own fingers? What are you talking about?
KAYLA: It’s this weird thing you do with cucumbers.
SARAH: Oh you’ll have to figure it out yourself.
KAYLA: I think it’s cottage cheese.
SARAH: It is absolutely not cottage cheese.
KAYLA: It’s something weird and squishy.
SARAH: Don’t say that.
KAYLA: Applesauce. It’s applesauce and cucumbers.
SARAH: It’s not bad together. It’s not always together it’s not like I have to eat them together.
KAYLA: But considering how much of a picky eater you are, I find it incredibly distressing. And so I will no longer be discussing it on this relaxcast.
SARAH: Good. It’s something I started doing as a child. So if I did it as a child, it’s probably okay for me now. I guess my brain’s like, this is acceptable.
KAYLA: I stopped recording again but now I’m back.
SARAH: What an absolute delight. How many times have we stopped recording so far? Like five?
KAYLA: I don’t know.
SARAH: Oh good. You know what’s not relaxing?
KAYLA: Why would you say that? This is the relaxcast.
SARAH: My room’s getting very warm because I did have to turn off the little fan thing in my room before this because it was noisy and now we’re getting toasty.
KAYLA: I think we’re getting a little bit derailed, Sarah.
SARAH: Let’s rerail this relaxcast. What are the rails?
KAYLA: Just going to look up relaxing phrases.
SARAH: I hate us.
KAYLA: There’s a dog whining outside my door.
SARAH: Would it like some cheese for that wine? That was neither affirmative nor a negatory and I’m unsure if the dog would desire some cheese.
KAYLA: Someone has made a piano version of the theme song.
SARAH: Oh that could absolutely be acceptable.
KAYLA: They’ve made it in the time of us recording.
SARAH: That’s truly astounding because we’ve only been recording for about 36 minutes.
KAYLA: And all they offered was one virtual hug for it.
SARAH: Our listeners are powerful.
KAYLA: Powerful and absolutely overworked. Let’s see if I can listen to it.
SARAH: That’s pretty good.
KAYLA: At first I had it too loud and it wasn’t very relaxing. And then I turned it down. That’s by Evelyn on Discord.
SARAH: Guess who stopped recording again.
KAYLA: You.
SARAH: It was me. I don’t know when it stopped. So I will say thank you to Evelyn on Discord. I don’t know how relaxing it is, but to be fair we didn’t ask for relaxing. We asked for acoustic.
KAYLA: And you did exactly that and it was very good.
SARAH: It was excellent. Quality content.
KAYLA: I was looking up relaxing words. It’s just giving me chillax.
SARAH: This podcast is the podcast incarnation of lo-fi beats.
KAYLA: Maybe that’s what I was asking for. Is a lo-fi beat version of.
SARAH: I think a slowed down acoustic guitar version could be nice.
KAYLA: Do you have your uke with you?
SARAH: I don’t. I also have no idea what the key is or what any of the notes are. Despite the fact that I technically did write the theme song. Oh man. I think we should each provide one relaxing word and then we can wrap this up.
KAYLA: A word? A word that’s relaxing?
SARAH: I guess you’re looking up affirming words.
KAYLA: No I was looking up affirming phrases. It didn’t give me exactly what I wanted.
SARAH: I think a relaxing word is elephant.
KAYLA: I think mine is pumpernickel.
SARAH: Oh. That’s a lot of p sounds for such a relaxing word but you know what if pumpernickel relaxes you then I support you.
KAYLA: Thank you that’s very affirming.
SARAH: Okay I’m glad to affirm you at this time. Kayla, what’s our poll for this relaxcast?
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Did we relax you?
KAYLA: Are you relaxed?
SARAH: Yes or no. How relaxed do you feel? When your Apple Watch tells you to breathe do you actually do it or do you yell at it, no don’t tell me what to do?
KAYLA: Maybe for the poll we put our affirmations and you can just choose one. Just take what you need.
SARAH: Kay take the affirmation you need. I like that. Excellent. Kayla, what’s your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: I don’t know if we should do beef.
SARAH: Here’s the problem. I have prepared a beef.
KAYLA: But we’re relaxing.
SARAH: Guys gals and nonbinary pals there was no difference in time for you but for me, I unplugged my mic again. I’m going to do my beef because I think it gets optimistic at the end. My beef is that Kayla’s Twitter selfies always get more likes than mine and I think that’s arophobic. I get that she has 60 somewhat more followers than me. I’ve made peace with that. But that is not a significant number. And it does not take away from the only valid conclusion that the 900 somewhat followers who didn’t like my Twitter selfies much be arophobic. Aros we want external validation from strangers too. Don’t delude yourselves into thinking we don’t. What you think just because I’m not romantically attracted to people, I don’t want people to gas me up on the world wide web? That would be incorrect. So, guys, gals and non binary pals, do your part in stopping arophobia by liking my Twitter selfies. Thank you.
KAYLA: I don’t like this. What’s your juice?
SARAH: It’s good to be able to see my family and friends and be home. It’s a little weird because it’s been so unmasked and I’m not used to that but we love the vaccine. Are you going to do beef and juice or are you just going to omit?
KAYLA: My beef is Ben Shapiro. I’ll say nothing else on the matter.
SARAH: That’s not very relaxing.
KAYLA: No. My juice is that tomorrow I will see my kittens and cuddle them. I’m very excited.
SARAH: Exciting. Good stuff. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your relaxcast experience on our social media @soundsfakepod. Earlier I thought I opened the intro/outro doc but I in fact opened the manuscript twice.
KAYLA: We got several new patrons.
SARAH: Oh yes that’s not relaxing I haven’t done that yet.
KAYLA: I think we also had some people delete.
SARAH: They will get a freebie this week how about that.
KAYLA: Okay. That’s very relaxing.
SARAH: Yeah. We have two new $2 patrons this week. They are Lei and Mitchell Wall. Thank you Lei and Mitchell Wall.
KAYLA: Also Autumn Riley.
SARAH: Oh why is Autumn Riley not on the list? I don’t see Autumn in the inbox?
KAYLA: I don’t know but I see it on the Patreon. I don’t know what happened.
SARAH: I don’t either.
KAYLA: Our inbox is very full, haven’t done a good job of answering lately.
SARAH: Very relaxing. And Andrew Hillum changed their promotion. Okay. We have a new $5 patron it’s Frank Cardenas, with that name I feel you usually see an ñ over the n so I don’t know if I should pronounce ñ with an ñ or not.
KAYLA: Relaxing.
SARAH: Sorry Frank. Our $5 patrons we are highlighting this week are—how many do we do? Five? Colleen Walsh, Mattie, Super Sarah, BAGEL, and Edward Hayes-Holgate. Thank you to all of you. And once again, bagel I do eat you everyday and I appreciate that. Our $10 patrons who are promoting things this week are Miss Rosie Costello who is promoting Sticks. Preferably long sticks. I have seen her chew on many sticks in the past couple days and she love them dearly. And Arcnes who would like to promote The Trevor Project and Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote tabletop games. Our other $10 patrons are Anonymous, Sarah McCoy, I’m trying to do this as slow as possible cause if I do it too fast it’s not relaxing. my aunt Jeannie, Cass, Doug Rice, H. Valdis, Purple Chickadee, Barefoot Backpacker, The Steve, Ari K, Mattie, Derek and Carissa, Aaron, Khadir, Potater, Changeling MX, David Jay, The Stubby Tech, and Simona Sajmon. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White - NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs and is also downstairs, Sara Jones who is @eternalloli everywhere, Andy A who would like to promote being in unions and IWW, Martin Chiesel who would like to promote his podcast, Everyone’s Special and No One is, Leila, who would like to promote love is love also applying to aro people, that’s a nice affirmation, Shrubbery who would like to promote the Planet Earth, Dia Chappell who would like to promote twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Sherronda J Brown, Maggie Capalbo who would like to promote their dogs Minnie, Leia, and Loki, Andrew Hillum would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, and Dragonfly who would like to promote relaxcasts. Our $20 patrons are Sarah T who would like to promote long walks outside and HomHomofSpades who would like to promote getting enough Vitamin D. I’ve gotten some recently it’s been wild. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until next time, relax with your cows.
SARAH: Please, gently.