Ep 79: Queerness and Gaming feat. A Friend
[00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what’s up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro/ace girl, I’m Sarah, that’s me -
KAYLA: And a demi/straight girl, that’s me, Kayla -
PERRY: And a bi guy, that’s me, Perry -
SARAH: - talk about all things to do with relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode, GAYming.
KAYLA and SARAH: Sounds fake, but okay.
[Intro music plays.]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
PERRY: G’day M’ate.
KAYLA: M’agic Mike. Those were both brought to you by Perry. We’ve been planning to have some good ones. Sarah just opened the door and walked out of her own room.
PERRY: She’s gone. Alright.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, take it over, Perry. Go to Sarah’s - alright Perry. What’re we talking about?
PERRY: Today, we’re talking about gaming.
[Sarah returns.]
KAYLA: You were replaced!
PERRY: I am the captain now.
SARAH: I’m always the captain now.
KAYLA: Me and Perry have been planning that. To be fair, one of the originals me and Perry thought about was - wasn’t it “m’condom?”
PERRY: Yes.
SARAH: That doesn’t even make sense.
KAYLA: So you’re lucky it wasn’t that one ‘cause that was one of our starting ideas.
SARAH: They were literally talking about this in code.
PERRY: Pre-m’arital sex. Keep that one in.
KAYLA: You can keep that in.
SARAH: I’d like to die. Oh man. Okay.
KAYLA: Would you say your will to death is -
PERRY: Your will to death is very high.
SARAH: My will to death.
KAYLA: Would you say your will to live is m’issing?
SARAH: I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you. So, for those of you who don’t listen til the end of the pod, which, what the fuck are you doing, but for those of you who don’t listen to the end of the pod, you don’t know who Piano Fiano is. This is Piano Fiano.
PERRY: It’s me. Hello.
KAYLA: Long, long time listener…
PERRY: First time caller.
KAYLA: First time guest.
SARAH: We’ve known him for a long time, he’s been a patron for a while - thank you for your money.
PERRY: You’re welcome. Thanks for the podcast.
KAYLA: You’re welcome.
SARAH: We did not bring him on just because he’s a patron.
KAYLA: He’s also a real life friend.
PERRY: Money gets you anything.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: USC? Anyway.
PERRY: Oof. There’s gonna be lots of oofs, I can already tell.
SARAH: So we’re having Perry, self-proclaimed bi guy and also a piano.
KAYLA: Thought you were a bi-babe?
PERRY: That’s only to my girlfriend.
KAYLA: That’s fair. Don’t call him that, you’re not his girlfriend. Unless you’re Emma. Hi Emma.
PERRY: Hi Emma.
KAYLA: She won’t listen.
SARAH: I’ve never met you. Okay. So, what’re we talking about this week, Perry? What did you come here to tell us?
PERRY: Video games.
SARAH: I was in a class with you about video games.
PERRY: We sure fucking were. Can I swear?
KAYLA: You listen to this podcast.
PERRY: I don’t remember.
SARAH: We swear all the fucking time.
PERRY: I’m sorry, all the YouTubers I watch have started not swearing so they can get ad revenue.
KAYLA: We don’t get ads.
SARAH: After my mom sort of listened to the pod, she was like, “Sarah, you do swear a lot.”
KAYLA: Do you? I feel like I swear more than you do.
SARAH: But I never swear in front of my mom, ever.
KAYLA: Oh, I swear in front of my mom all the time.
PERRY: I do it once or twice and my mom hated it.
KAYLA: My parents hate how much I swear and I’m like, “I’m an adult, mom.”
PERRY: I’m an adult, bitch.
KAYLA: I mark it as ‘explicit’ every week. You can swear all you want. Just for you, I’ll mark it ‘extra explicit’ this week.
SARAH: Nice.
PERRY: Goober.
KAYLA: That’s not a swear.
PERRY: Goofy Goober.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Sarah hates this.
SARAH: Perry, you’ve made some extensive notes for what you want to talk about today.
PERRY: Yeah.
KAYLA: Perry was like, “I’m worried about being prepared,” and I was like, “Have you listened to this? The stakes are so low.”
PERRY: I believe the conversation was: I was worried about being prepared, but then I listened to the space episode and it was fine.
KAYLA: Oh, he did text me that and I was like, “You bitch. Just keep giving me your money and being rude.”
PERRY: Anyways. Yes, Sarah, we were in fact in a class about video games and representation together.
SARAH: And I made a game at the end of the semester that was about being ace.
PERRY: You did.
KAYLA: Oh yeah!
PERRY: That’s actually one of the points.
KAYLA: Is it still around?
PERRY: Probably somewhere.
SARAH: Somewhere.
KAYLA: You should find it. Then play it.
PERRY: I mean, you have to, now that we’ve spoken of it.
SARAH: Godammit. It’s not a very good game, you guys.
KAYLA: But they’re not asking for it to be good. It’s a podcast.
PERRY: We don’t expect much. Listen, if you find mine, you can include it, too.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: So, uh, hey Perry. Tell me about representation in games.
PERRY: It’s - wow. You can read headings. Good job.
KAYLA: I’m not reading it, just so you know.
PERRY: It’s fine. We can share notes.
KAYLA: I don’t want to read it. That’s how it works. Sarah reads things -
[05:00]
SARAH: And Kayla sits there and is surprised.
PERRY: Yeah, I know. So, I don’t know, the thing is a lot of games don’t consider representation, I think. Although, there have been several I can think of in recent history that have started to move towards including queer characters. Like Apex Legends came out a month ago, two months maybe, and at launch, it had like eight characters you can play as, and two of them were, in some capacity, queer. One of them’s gay, and one of them’s non-binary. Uses they/them pronouns.
KAYLA: Sounds like an accurate proportion, two to six.
PERRY: Yeah, I like that one a lot more than Overwatch, which is a bummer ‘cause I like to play Overwatch more.
KAYLA: I’ve heard of her.
PERRY: They have, at this point, thirty heroes that you can play as.
KAYLA: Oh no.
PERRY: Only two of them are canonically LGBTQ and they’re both gay. Well one’s a lesbian, but they’re both homosexual.
KAYLA: Are they all white, too? What’s the race of all them?
PERRY: No, actually. Race representation is actually very good. They do a great job with that.
KAYLA: That’s good.
PERRY: But, not being straight…
SARAH: Give us queer bitches.
PERRY: Yes.
KAYLA: Quitches.
PERRY: And, like, the thing is, Tracer, the lesbian, has been gay the whole time. This game came out in 2016. Three years pass, come to 2019, the now -
KAYLA: The now.
PERRY: - and we finally find out that Soldier 76 is gay. In those three years they’ve released, like, 6 heroes -
KAYLA: That’s like some JK Rowling shit.
PERRY: I mean, it’s not as bad because Overwatch has already been secretive about the lore in-game, ‘cause it’s not a story-driven game, it’s an online game.
KAYLA: Like, still.
PERRY: Yeah, it’s just shitty. And it was a big snafu when this happened ‘cause he’s your stereotypical like Call of Duty player.
KAYLA: Like a man. A man man.
SARAH: Like a man. Very descriptive.
KAYLA: You know what I’m saying.
PERRY: Very gung-ho sort of guy.
KAYLA: Muscles.
PERRY: I saw a lot of comments that were like, “Hey, can you not make him gay? ‘Cause now I won’t play as him, ‘cause he’s gay. Which is ridiculous, ‘cause it’s hard to learn how to play an Overwatch character and get good with them, so it’s just stupid to switch ‘cause someone’s gay.
KAYLA: Well, see, isn’t that an advantage for you, ‘cause now all these dumbasses are switching their characters and now they’re bad.
PERRY: Yes, that is true.
SARAH: Are these the same people who are like, “I won’t play as a woman?”
PERRY: I don’t know. I don’t think that’s as big of a problem.
SARAH: ‘Cause they’re looking at the boobs?
PERRY: Well, it is a first-person game.
KAYLA: Are the costumes for the women bad? Or their outfits? I feel like in video games they’re like, “I'm gonna fight, but also wear no clothes.”
PERRY: No, it’s better.
KAYLA: That’s good.
PERRY: Especially, yeah. Overwatch is a lot better about it, and Apex is good with it. I think that’s definitely something that’s a remnant of the past, unless it’s a Japanese game, in which case, oh my god it’s so bad.
KAYLA: Yeah.
PERRY: What was I gonna say? What do I have in my notes? Oh yeah. The big thing with Overwatch is that all of the fanfics and all of the ships -
SARAH: They’re gay.
PERRY: They’re gay.
SARAH: They’re all gay.
PERRY: They’re super gay.
SARAH: I had a conception about Overwatch that it was very gay just because I see fandom stuff. I’ve never played Overwatch. So I see this stuff by the community and by the internet and I’m like, “That shit’s gay.”
PERRY: Mhm.
KAYLA: It’s also I feel like a very diverse community. The people I know who play Overwatch and talk about it on Twitter or whatever seem like a wide group of people.
PERRY: Yeah. It definitely is. And that’s kind of why the community gets so diverse with the ships and the scenarios that they come up with. And this is something that I saw once that - it is kind of neat that you don’t have all the lore right away, ‘cause it leaves room for the community to fill that in, so that everyone can say, “Oh I like this headcanon, I like this one,” and never have to worry about it not being true.
SARAH: They can find they’re lil niche and be like, “This is cannon now.”
KAYLA: See, my thing about that is, if they’re gonna be secretive about the lore, they should stay secretive forever.
PERRY: Yeah.
KAYLA: What’s the point of releasing some things here… was them saying this guy was gay just them trying to throw a bone to the community and be like, “Oh, look at us, we’re so -” like why? Why. You know what I mean?
PERRY: Yeah, I think it’s kind of hard to say. I know the community has been kind of displeased with it lately just ‘cause the game hasn’t been -
KAYLA: I mean, what community is not angry at its maker?
PERRY: That’s fair. [inaudible crosstalk.] Dammit.
SARAH: It’s fine.
KAYLA: It’s all about me.
[10:00]
PERRY: I was trying so hard not to bring up Fortnite and I did it. Goddamn.
SARAH: You’re doing great, sweaty.
KAYLA: Fortnite will forever be the bane of our existence.
PERRY: I apologize to everyone.
KAYLA: Oof.
PERRY: There it is. There’s the ‘oof.’ Big yikes. Throw that in there. Big yikes.
SARAH: Big [unintelligible.]
PERRY: I’m sorry, Kayla.
KAYLA: It’s not your fault.
PERRY: I know it’s not my fault.
KAYLA: It’s Sarah.
SARAH: So you’re sorry when she’s sad but not when I’m sad, Perrold?
PERRY: I never said I wasn’t sorry when you’re sad.
SARAH: You took my spot. You sat in my seat.
KAYLA: It’s not our fault that me and Perry enable each other, alright?
PERRY: It’s true.
KAYLA: It’s not our fault when we’re the same person.
PERRY: We’re the same garbage human.
KAYLA: Yaaaas.
SARAH: I don’t know how to respond to any of that.
PERRY: That’s usually what happens with us.
SARAH: Alright. Hit me with some more facts.
PERRY: So, I think, yeah. Talk about in-game community as long as we’re talking about online games. So, every now and then, you hop into a voice chat, and more often than not, you get a mature group of adults who are having a good time on the weekend. Four or five of them are high.
KAYLA: Okay. For people who might not - ‘cause I watch Twitch. I’m a cool girl..
SARAH: I know. I sometimes see that you’re watching Twitch, and I go, “Oh, she’s watching Twitch.”
KAYLA: It’s been a while.
SARAH: You were watching it just the other day!
KAYLA: Yes, I was. That was the first time in awhile. So for people that might not know the game words, why are people getting in voice chats?
PERRY: When you’re playing a video game online, let’s use Overwatch as an example, you have six people all on a team working together for some common goal. And working together with people - I don’t know if you guys know this - usually goes better if you can talk.
KAYLA: I don’t know…
SARAH: Communication? Yeah, right.
PERRY: Well, yeah, Kayla I know you disagree, but that’s fine.
[Perry and Kayla laugh.]
SARAH: What’s happening over there? What’s going on?
PERRY: This is a callout post for Kayla for not texting anyone first.
SARAH: They can’t see you, Kayla.
KAYLA: My soul. He’s piercing it. Anyway.
PERRY: [Maniacal laughter.]
[Train horn in distance.]
SARAH: I hope you all heard the train that went by.
KAYLA: Probably not.
SARAH: It’s pretty loud. It’s out there.
PERRY: It’s a big boy.
SARAH: It’s a big boy. Mkay. Anyway.
KAYLA: Anyway. You’re in the voice chat.
PERRY: You’re in the voice chat and sometimes you get someone who’s less nice, or you get a younger kid, and you hear every now and then the classic, “That’s so gay,” or “You’re so gay,” and you’re like, “Mmm, that’s not super chill, bro,” and I don’t know if this is the experience other people have, but it always seems to get a little quiet after that. And everyone, I think, is running through the same debate in their head of like, “Well, do I say something? Is it gonna get worse for me if I say something?” I know I sometimes consider, “Is this gonna ruin the team dynamic and we’re gonna fuck up and not take the objective or anything well if I say something?” Then I go into, like, “Am I really gonna change this kid’s mind in an online game voice lobby?” And it’s just a very, like, weird space to navigate that. And to have to think about that.
KAYLA: What do you usually do? What's the typical response that you come to?
PERRY: I think it depends on how many people are in the chat. ‘Cause if it's just one or two people who join and it's just me talking to this kid one-on-one pretty much, I'll be like, “Hey that’s not cool. Don’t do that.” And I think a lot of times what I’ve noticed is you’ll have one of the adults or more mature people in the chat if you have like four or five of you talking like, “Hey that’s not a cool thing to do,” and then more people will tend to speak up and are more comfortable.
SARAH: The best kind of bandwagon, if you will.
PERRY: Really peer pressure this kid into not being an asshole. And I think part of it is everyone thinks when they get into that game and community that that’s what it’s like because of the stereotype, and that’s what it’s more widely perceived as. And it’s kind of like our job as we get older and play games with younger people to teach them the etiquette and the rules of online gaming so it doesn't suck for everybody.
KAYLA: But also, ‘cause it is the norm of dudes being bros on the internet being like, “Aw, you f-word, that's so gay,” and stuff, so I feel like it’s probably the case that some people who are queer are like, “I wanna play this game but this is what I’m gonna face.”
[15:00]
PERRY: Exactly.
KAYLA: So they don’t, and they’re not playing games, and they’re not interested in game development, and there’s not gonna be people …
SARAH: Hey, hey Perry. Would you say it’s a pipeline issue?
PERRY: Absolutely it is.
SARAH: We learned that in our class.
PERRY: That’s a big one. Fun fact: other thing we learned in our class, gay people like the Christian servers ‘cause people can’t be mean to them.
KAYLA: No - what?
PERRY: Yeah, so in CSGo, there’d be Christian servers where you weren’t allowed to swear or be mean to other people so lots of queer folks would gravitate toward those servers ‘cause it’s a safer space to game.
KAYLA: What if they had servers that aren't religious but are just nice? Where are those?
SARAH: Nice bitches only.
PERRY: We’re working on it. It’s getting there.
KAYLA: Nitches, one could say.
SARAH: A lil niche, ya know? Niche nitches only.
PERRY: Niche nitches only. And then, I mean, Kayla you brought up Twitch. God forbid you look at Twitch chat at any moment in time.
KAYLA: I mean, the people I follow on Twitch have good chats, but yeah.
PERRY: It is also very much the chat is a reflection of the streamer.
SARAH: Yeah, I believe that.
KAYLA: I’ve heard a lot of people talk about certain streamers that are just like, that is not a good person. There’s people that have a fanbase and are making money. ‘Cause on Twitch, the way people make a majority of their money is the people watching send them money. So, okay, these people are profiting off of other not nice people and they’re all just sitting there in an echo chamber being shitty.
PERRY: Or like, I mean, that’s kind of how I feel about Pewdiepie. Seems like a shitty dude. Why does everyone keep supporting him?
KAYLA: I always hear about him and his shit. He said the N word, right?
PERRY: Multiple times at this point.
SARAH: Multiple times.
KAYLA: So that’s why we’re angry at him, right?
PERRY: Yeah.
KAYLA: I’m not up to date with this guy.
PERRY: I think he’s also done a lot of other questionable stuff.
SARAH: I think he’s also just a douchebag.
KAYLA: Okay. That’s what I thought but I don’t keep up with him.
SARAH: Which sucks because he’s like very -
PERRY: The biggest thing in gaming.
SARAH: The biggest, as a YouTuber, as someone who spearheaded the gaming side of online media, it sucks that someone who has done such shitty things and doesn’t seem sorry bout them is the face of that.
PERRY: Yeah. But unfortunately I think more often than not, the people involved in that sort of media are the people who aren’t gonna be sorry about it.
KAYLA: It’s also like, if you look at the start of anything, are they really good people? The founding fathers did some shit.
SARAH: Had some slaves.
KAYLA: I’m just saying, it happens.
PERRY: Yeah.
KAYLA: Not to excuse him, but people in power are just shitty. I don’t know, they are.
PERRY: Yeah.
KAYLA: Except for Michelle Obama.
SARAH: If you look at the beginnings of things, it’s often well-intentioned, it’s just in hindsight it was a different time and so -
KAYLA: But he’s still doing it, that’s the problem.
SARAH: That’s the point, is that we didn’t - I guess people tried to hold him accountable and he just didn’t -
PERRY: He’s just too big at this point.
SARAH: He’s too big -
PERRY: He cannot be humbled.
SARAH: He did it late enough in his career that he was safe.
KAYLA: Yeah. My thing -
SARAH: Which sucks.
PERRY: Yeah.
KAYLA: This is getting off track, but my thing with people who say offensive shit on the internet - like Terry Cruise recently said some shit and people were like, “You can’t say that,” and then he talked to some of his castmates, he learned, and he was like, “I’m sorry.” But then you have people like Kevin Hart who say things and everyone’s like, “Please no.” And he’s like, “I meant what I said, and I suck.” There’s a difference, you know? He keeps doing things and doesn’t care and that’s the problem
PERRY: He writes YouTube his apology letter and he gets his ad revenue back.
SARAH: A YouTube video just called “I’m Sorry” but there’s no apology in the video.
KAYLA: “I’m sorry … DRAMATIC”
PERRY: “I’m sorry … TRUE STORY, GONE WRONG, GONE SEXUAL, 18+
SARAH: But like, what Terry Crews did is the exact way to respond to that. You talk to people, you figure out, try to understand why what you did was upsetting people. Then you say, “I did this thing that was upsetting, I now know why it was upsetting, I’m sorry, I’m not gonna do it again.” And that’s how you do it.
PERRY: And I think that’s something that should be done a lot more and people should also give people the opportunity to do it. I think you say something bad on the internet and everyone jumps on you right away and gives you no time to get better.
SARAH: I think that is part of the problem. People are going straight for the jugular without giving a chance to take a step back and be like “oh shit, that’s shitty.”
[20:00]
KAYLA: Also just like understand that’s another real person and you also say shitty things on accident.
SARAH: But I think, also, if the person has a shitty track record then it’s like…
PERRY: Absolutely. At some point you -
SARAH: At some point you stop giving them the benefit of the doubt.
PERRY: Exactly. Be nice to people online and don’t be rude and terrible.
KAYLA: Do you think, overall, have you had a good or bad experience in online chats and communities? If you had to say “this many percent is good” you know what I mean?
PERRY: I think overwhelmingly it’s mediocre. You’ll get two or three people in the chat room, one of them’s trying way too hard to win, not remembering that it’s a game and that you’re in the lowest tier you can be in so it doesn’t matter. You get someone who’s just there to throw the game, make sure you don’t win, that’s shitty. You get people who are just like weird or really high. Those are interesting, but not personally my favorite. But every now and then you get five or six people who are just - you all jive really well together and you’re getting along and your gameplay works well, and you’re all just talking and you end up grouping up for three or four games and you have a good time. Those are the times that I tend to remember because it’s a better experience and something that you want to do again and I think that’s why I keep going back to gaming and keep getting in voice chat. It’s either not gonna be not bad, or I’m gonna have a really good time and meet some cool people.
KAYLA: Do you say the occasional bad stuff doesn’t dissuade you from playing?
PERRY: Yes, and I think that could also be that I started gaming a lot later than most people. I think the time when it was really shitty and would’ve dissuaded you would’ve been back early 00’s / late 00’s. It was more Call of Duty games and stuff like that. I think public perception has moved away from that and the community has grown up in that time and realized that behavior is not acceptable.
KAYLA: I wonder if it’s the type of games you’re playing. If you take a more Call of Duty, it’s just a shooting game. And so maybe then you’re gonna get more of those type of people, whereas with Overwatch or something like that where you already have some diversity in characters, then you’re bound to get some better people.
PERRY: And I think that’s something I was thinking about. It’s definitely something that happens. Fortnite, you’ll always have the kids, and there’s always gonna be at least one kid in your lobby, just cause a lot of younger kids play the game.
KAYLA: It’s a kids game. Just look at how it looks. It’s a kid's game.
PERRY: It’s free, it’s not a very high barrier to entry.
SARAH: And the dancing.
PERRY: Yes, the dancing.
KAYLA: I tried playing once and it was pretty hard, but I didn’t know what I was doing.
PERRY: I had to give up because at this point the community is just so ridiculous that it has to be a part time job to learn how to play Fortnite to play Fortnite well.
KAYLA: I’ve heard that.
SARAH: The only thing I know about Fortnite is the dances and also that John Green plays it as a pacifist.
PERRY: Very nice.
KAYLA: What does that mean?
SARAH: He does not - you don’t shoot at anyone unless they shoot at you first.
KAYLA: Oh, he’s a … there’s a group of people that, what are they called - sasquatches?
PERRY: Would you say he’s counter gaming?
SARAH: Aha! I would say he’s counter gaming! [unintelligible]
KAYLA: Nooooo. Yeah there’s a group of people who play PubG called Sasquatches and they go around naked with no weapons and they hide all game and winning is getting second ‘cause they’re obviously gonna get killed. Good time.
SARAH: He plays pacifist Fortnite with - he’s going to keep putting it on his channel (actually Hank’s channel, fuck his, whatever).
PERRY: Go off.
SARAH: He’s gonna keep putting it until he - I don’t know that he could win by being a pacifist, but he’s gonna get second.
PERRY: He absolutely could win.
SARAH: Really?
PERRY: I’ve seen people win using no weapons.
SARAH: Nice. He’s gonna keep playing Fortnite until he wins and then he’ll stop.
KAYLA: Love it. Isn’t he off the internet right now?
SARAH: He’s off the social internet, he still does YouTube.
KAYLA: But isn't…
SARAH: It’s a different -
PERRY: There’s no interaction. You’re putting stuff out there and not sticking around to check in.
KAYLA: I guess, yeah, if you’re not getting in the comments and shit.
SARAH: Yeah, but he -
PERRY: It’s like having a kid. You put him in the world and just fucking leave it to make its way.
KAYLA: Do you want to talk about something? What? Hello?
PERRY: It’s a weird analogy but it works.
KAYLA: No one does that.
SARAH: Birth a child. Set it on the ground. Walk away.
[25:00]
KAYLA: Sims, is that you?
SARAH: Hundred baby challenge.
KAYLA: The hundred baby challenge has been great recently. If you want something video-gamey to watch, a girl on Buzzfeed has been doing the hundred baby challenge. It’s seventeen episodes in and it’s hilarious. They’re all half hour episodes, good times. Good times. Anyway.
PERRY: Yes.
SARAH: Wow. Ok. Where were we?
KAYLA: [Gasp.] I know something about video games and representation!
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: In the Sims 4, you can have someone that presents as a woman but can get someone else pregnant. So they have allowed in the mechanics for trans people, or to be like this gender but you basically choose - it’s still binary genders. But you can choose gender female, but can get Sim pregnant.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: So.
PERRY: You didn’t see Kayla but she did that hand thing that people do. Very Italian.
KAYLA: Oh, I do a lot of Italian hands.
SARAH: You always do weird facial expressions as if 79 episodes in you wouldn’t realize that they can’t see you.
KAYLA: I mean I’m not doing it for them.
PERRY: You guys just got a critical role: live stream.
SARAH: But you’re making weird faces and then there’s just silence.
PERRY: It did get very quiet.
KAYLA: They’re for you.
SARAH: And the weird face was saying a lot about how you felt about the subject that silence does not portray.
PERRY: Yes, but you can’t convey that with words.
SARAH: She could say, “mrraww”
PERRY: That doesn’t do the same thing.
KAYLA: When we do our live streamed episode (coming soon) then they will know.
SARAH: It’ll have to come soon ‘cause we won’t be in the same location.
KAYLA: We only have 2 months that it can still happen. Anyway, then you will see my Italian fucking hands.
SARAH: You are italian.
PERRY: Mama mia. M’ama M’ia.
KAYLA: Yayyyyy.
[high five]
SARAH: I’m stuck. I tried to roll my chair out but I got stuck. Okay. Well now that we have that happen.
PERRY: Yes. That great thing.
SARAH: Anyway.
PERRY: So we talked about some bad examples of games.
KAYLA: Let’s get some good ones bitch.
PERRY: I have one good one I just bought cause I don’t play a lot of games and I keep replaying Borderlands 2 cause it’s a very good video game.
KAYLA: I don’t know her.
PERRY: The borderline series is one that - and I’m not the only person who’s think this - who’s think this, nailed it, Perry - who’s thought this - there’s lots of articles I’ve read and comments I’ve seen -
KAYLA: Ooh, he reads.
SARAH: He can read?
PERRY: Gotta read to be an engineer.
SARAH: But not really.
KAYLA: You just gotta know numbers. You ever see an engineer try to write an essay?
PERRY: Have you seen the equations I do?
SARAH: You gave me shit earlier for how we had to make a graph for film for editing.
PERRY: Hey, I got a 100% on my first Blue Book Exam. Don’t come at me for fucking writing.
KAYLA: Yaas.
SARAH: How many Blue Book Exams have you taken?
[whispering]:
PERRY: Guess what class it was for.
KAYLA: Video games.
PERRY: It was for the video games class.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: I’m also whispering.
PERRY: This is now an Isamore podcast.
SARAH: I fucking hate this.
PERRY: That’s a bummer.
KAYLA: That’s why we’re doing it.
SARAH: Okay so Borderlands 2. You’ve written a bunch of characters and their sexualities and if you just read them across it’s very funny. For example, Tiny Tina Lesbian. Sir Hammer Lock Gay.
KAYLA: These are good names.
PERRY: They’re very good.
SARAH: Mr. Tongue. I know someone whose last name is Tongue.
KAYLA: Who?
PERRY: I’m very sure you do.
KAYLA: I know someone whose last name is Fangboner. Which he always told people it's FangBONNER.
PERRY: It’s FrankenSCHTEIN.
SARAH: Frankenschtein. Is it I E N?
PERRY: E I N.
SARAH: That’s Frankenstein then, not Frankenschtein.
KAYLA: What? I don’t…what?
PERRY: Sorry I misremembered my Young Frankenstein. My bad.
KAYLA: Anyway, what’s Borderlands about? What is that?
PERRY: Oh boy. It’s a - sorry. You just asked what Borderlands is about, and I said, “oh boy,” as I read, “Borderlands. Oh boy.” I don’t know if you can tell -
KAYLA: He wrote, “Borderlands. Oh boy.”
PERRY: I say the same things all the time.
KAYLA: Perry has three words that he says.
SARAH: Borderlands, oh, boy.
PERRY: Five. Five words. I say oh boy, oof, and big yikes.
SARAH: Oh boy is two words.
PERRY: It’s five words.
SARAH: Ok.
KAYLA: We’re counting them as five words.
PERRY: I got there.
KAYLA: That’s fine.
PERRY: Whatever.
KAYLA: The engineer can’t count but it’s fine.
PERRY: Listen. None of my equations lately have had numbers. It’s all just symbols.
KAYLA: Ew.
PERRY: It’s all theoretical and I hate it.
KAYLA: That’s disgusting.
SARAH: I’m still laughing at Tiny Tina Lesbian.
KAYLA: I think I’m gonna name my first born that.
PERRY: It’s a good name.
SARAH: Sir Hammer Lock comma gay.
KAYLA: Is Gay the first name then?
[30:00]
SARAH: Gay. Sir Hammer Lock Gay. Actually it would be, “Sir Hammer Lock. Gay Sir Hammer Lock.”
PERRY: Shaken, not stirred.
SARAH: This is what you get, Kayla. Now me and Perry are teaming up on you.
KAYLA: I think you suffered more than I am.
SARAH: I’m having a great time right now.
KAYLA: I’ll just wait it through.
PERRY and SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: What’s Borderlands about other than “oh boy?”
SARAH: And tiny tina lesbian.
PERRY: It’s a first person game that’s pretty wild. Short summary, there are these things called Volts that have lots of power in them, and there’s evil people who want them, and then there’s you. You’re a Volt hunter, and you want them cause people tell you there’s treasure in them.
KAYLA: Sarah was just holding - I’m sorry Perry. Sarah was just holding her water bottle like so many inches above her head just like open mouthed two little drops dropping and Perry is just here trying to tell his words and then Sarah’s just out here with her bullshit.
SARAH: My water is empty. Kayla, you and me both came in with almost empty water bottles. Don’t play dumb.
PERRY: To be fair, Sarah isn’t the one who interrupted my speech, it was you.
SARAH: Oooohhhh-
KAYLA: But you needed to know.
SARAH: -ooooooohhhhhhh-
PERRY: I did not. I was just ignoring it.
SARAH: -oooooohhhhhhh Perry you should continue.
KAYLA: You needed to know.
PERRY: So the first Borderland is the Volt Hunters trying to find the Volt. The second one is more about stopping the villain Handsome Jack.
SARAH: Oh!
KAYLA: Handsome Jack! Is he handsome? Please tell me he’s handsome.
PERRY: He thinks he is. He’s actually pretty disfigured but he wears a mask to hide it.
KAYLA: Is the mask handsome?
PERRY: It’s fine. I mean, he’s not my thing, but…
KAYLA: I thought you were about to be like, “he’s not as handsome as me!”
PERRY: I mean, he’s not. I vouged for a hot second.
SARAH: They can’t see that, Perry.
PERRY: That’s why I explained it with my words, Sarah.
KAYLA: Yeah, Sarah, he’s Italianing.
PERRY: I paint them a word picture.
SARAH: A word picture.
KAYLA: A wicture, you might say.
SARAH: I so regret getting you doing that because -
KAYLA: I got the whole cast doing that.
SARAH: You do it way more than I do.
KAYLA: I know and I love it.
PERRY: Anyways. Then the Borderlands pre-sequel is about Handsome Jack’s rise to power.
SARAH: Isn’t a pre-sequel just the original? Or a prequel?
PERRY: No because it comes in between the first and the second.
KAYLA: Oh, so it’s like Lion King 1.5.
PERRY: It’s one and a half.
SARAH: One and a half.
KAYLA: Whatever!
PERRY: Don’t you dare insult my favorite Lion King movie like that.
SARAH: I had a video game that was Lion King 1 and ¾.
PERRY: Yes.
KAYLA: Stupid.
SARAH: It was on my Gameboy Advance.
KAYLA: Oh my god she had a Gameboy Advance.
[snapping]
SARAH: Anyway.
PERRY: That was some good Thanos snapping!
KAYLA: Perry, before we go on, is Tony Stark gonna die in Endgame?
PERRY: I really hope so.
SARAH: Thank you!
PERRY: I’m kinda over Iron Man. Listen, Cap needs to live.
SARAH: No, Cap’s gonna die.
PERRY: He’s gonna die, I won’t be mad if he does. That’s my point.
SARAH: Cap, Tony, and Nebula are dying. I’m calling it now.
KAYLA: We had a friend we had to yell at for like an hour last night cause she was like, “he’s not gonna die!” and we had to like -
PERRY: Oh, honey.
SARAH: We’re trying to prepare her, honestly.
PERRY: He gonna die so good.
KAYLA: Anyway, please continue.
PERRY: And then Borderlands 3 was just recently announced and I’m very happy because the last one came out like four years ago and it’s been so long. Anyways. I don’t know what this one’s gonna be about cause it hasn’t come out yet. It’s a surprise.
KAYLA: It’s just like that.
PERRY: Anyways like we said I think personally the representation in these games is very good because it’s additive. It doesn’t feel like token.
KAYLA: In Borderlands?
PERRY: Yeah. It’s just these people’s identity, it’s done well, they are fully fleshed out characters with this … in mind, I think, or if they don’t have in mind, they work it in in DLC or something. Cause that one -
KAYLA: What does that mean?
PERRY: Downloadable Content. It’s the stuff you get extra for the game.
KAYLA: Thanks.
PERRY: So like one example. This one I didn’t know until this morning when I was researching these characters to make sure I got them right. Maya the Siren from Borderlands 2, one of the player characters, the writer has a headcanon that she’s Ace, and there are some lines in some of the DLC that don’t confirm it but heavily hint towards it.
KAYLA: So is she like a Siren like a Siren Siren?
PERRY: No.
KAYLA: That would be - an ACE siren? Can we take a second?
SARAH: Oh my god that’d be so cool.
KAYLA: That would also make sense. Side track.
SARAH: Luring men in just to kill them.
KAYLA: Sounds like a real - not to make Ace people sound evil, but like it seems like …
SARAH: Don’t ruin my poster. Exploiting your - if you are a woman - exploiting your femininity and exploiting straight guys to get them to come so that they’re like -
PERRY: To cum.
[laughter]
KAYLA: Yay! Now Sarah’s sad!
SARAH: Kill them. The men that are taken by the Sirens but also Kayla and Perry.
KAYLA: Kayla and Perry, we’ve been waiting for years.
SARAH: Anyway, Maya’s ace.
PERRY: Yeah. Sorry. Real quick, Sirens aren’t Siren Sirens, but there can be only 6 of them in the universe at one time. All female.
KAYLA: How messy.
PERRY: And they have cool magic powers.
KAYLA: So when one of them dies does another one just pop on out?
PERRY: I think so.
KAYLA: Of where?
PERRY: It’s still vague. I would assume another one just gets born.
SARAH: The universe’s vagina.
KAYLA: Where is that?
SARAH: It’s in the middle, Kayla.
KAYLA: Is that a black hole? Is that what black holes are?
PERRY: How would you -
SARAH: Put that in your space episode.
KAYLA: So wait. When the Star Trek spaceship almost goes in that black hole does that mean it’s almost having sex with the universe?
[Perry slow clapping.]
KAYLA: That mad pull out game! Is that what that means?
SARAH: My ace brain was like, “Oh that’s reverse birth.” I didn’t think about the fact that it’s fucking sex.
PERRY: Reverse birth, everybody.
KAYLA: Everybody -
SARAH and PERRY: Yeah, yeah.
KAYLA: This is so messy. This is so messy.
PERRY: No this is the cleanest episode yet. I promise.
KAYLA: Is it? “I promise.” Okay.
SARAH: Now you know what it’s like to be on this side of the microphone, boy.
PERRY: I’ve always suspected.
KAYLA: He knew.
PERRY: I know both of you. Bitch we been knew.
SARAH: Anway. So Maya’s ace.
PERRY: I’ll just run down this list since you guys like it so much.
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah.
PERRY: Maya’s ace, Mad Moxxi Bi, Tiny Tina Lesbian, Axton Bi, Sir Hammer a Lot Gay, Miss Adore Bi, Athena Lesbian, Zero they/them, Flack they/them. Flack is one of the characters from the new game. I’m sure there will be more gay ones but there are also the same characters in these games that carry over, so we have that.
KAYLA: Lit.
SARAH: I wasn’t sure how to read Flack.
PERRY: Assuming that’s it.
SARAH: But the L looks like an I.
PERRY: My bad. Well, it’s not my bad.
SARAH: It’s the font’s bad.
PERRY: I should use Serif, I’m sorry.
SARAH: I love a good sans serif.
PERRY: Yeah, use serif if you’re writing a paper.
SARAH: I often don’t.
PERRY: That’s the one thing I remember from taking a communications class.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: My professor was just like it needs to be legible.
PERRY: It’s easier to read serifs.
KAYLA: Really?
SARAH and PERRY: Sans serif.
PERRY: It’s not better on a screen, but when you print something out.
SARAH: I always just go for a good Calibri, Cal-ee-bree, however you say that.
PERRY: Serif’s just look -
SARAH: I mean they look fancier.
KAYLA: I do a lot of Arial cause that just comes up and sometimes Times New Roman.
SARAH: Don’t fucking talk to me. If I have to have a paper in a serif I type it - I do it in calibri and I change it. And it makes it shorter, and since I usually overwrite it’s good. It shortens it.
PERRY: Tea.
SARAH: I always - I’m sorry. On google docs it always comes up as Arial size 11 and I always switch it to Calibri size 12 because back in the day when I got my first laptop that was the word standard. Calibri.
PERRY: What’s the word with Perd?
SARAH: It’s Calibri.
PERRY: Ya heard with Perd.
SARAH: Anyway. Sir HammerLock comma gay.
PERRY: Comma Gay. Back to Axton bi, this one’s funny and I think shows that the company Gearbox is also like taking it seriously with the representation and like not afraid to include it that this character I assume was originally meant to be straight but due to a bug in the code would have the same flirty lines with men and women. And they were like, alright, fuck it. He’s bi now.
SARAH: That’s amazing.
KAYLA: That’s lit.
PERRY: And later in the DLC they changed it to be a more whole part of his character.
KAYLA: That’s so funny.
PERRY: I love it so much.
KAYLA: Do you think that it really was a bug? Or someone in the company was like “I’m gonna change it. I’m gonna go do this.”
PERRY: I do think it was a bug because of all the others.
KAYLA: I wanted it to be espionage.
PERRY: You can pretend it was espionage.
KAYLA: Headcannon. It’s espionage. And it was me.
SARAH: Oh, that’s not how headcanons work.
KAYLA: It was me.
[40:00]
SARAH: Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy.
PERRY: How’s that going for ya?
SARAH: Good, thank you. We love queer characters.
PERRY: Representation. Very much so.
SARAH: You have some stuff written here about tabletop games. Hit me with it. Not the game cause that would be painful.
PERRY: You know how thick my stack of DnD books is?
KAYLA: Oh shit.
PERRY: She thicc with like five C’s.
SARAH: And a q?
PERRY: Yeah, probably a couple in there. Interspersed. But not in even intervals.
SARAH: Yeah, of course.
PERRY: Keep you guessing.
SARAH: See, I’ve never played D&D.
PERRY: That’s a tragedy.
SARAH: I know a lot of people who do and they tell me I’d like it.
PERRY: I think you would.
KAYLA: I played once.
PERRY: How was it?
KAYLA: It was good. The group was way too big cause it was a lot of people just hanging out and for a lot of people who’d never played it before, so it was way too many people to get like going.
PERRY: You gotta start with just one new person or two. And have three good ones. Anyways. This is stuff I wasn’t maybe gonna talk about.
SARAH: It’s there.
PERRY: Just cause I didn’t develop it.
SARAH: You don’t have to. Alright so Perry says tabletop games could fill a whole episode, I’d just like everyone to know I’d apparently like DnD. That’s all.
PERRY: You would.
KAYLA: I started listening to a DnD podcast.
PERRY: Well, it’s not - they’re not playing DnD.
KAYLA: Not right now. They’re playing tabletop games. It’s a good time.
SARAH: Okay, Fantasy Utopia, idealized versions of ourselves … more like, everything I write question mark? I’ve roasted myself.
PERRY: I just say that because I think, when you get into a game, you kind of keep - especially when you start and are not trying to be complex with it … you start with yourself or who you want to be or what you want to be and I think a lot of times it’s a good space for people to safely be gay but not be themselves.
SARAH: Yeah I think that’s a good point.
PERRY: And explore it without having to come out or deal with any of that.
KAYLA: Especially since you’re often playing another human character so it’s ya know you’re looking at real humans like the Sims, say. That’s somewhere you can go and it’s not like a hardcore video game but I do think the Sims offers a lot.
PERRY: Mhm.
KAYLA: For that kind of thing where you can go build a person that looks like you if you want to and they can go be gay, have a family, have whatever career you want, and so -
SARAH: Pee on the floor, fall asleep in the shower.
PERRY: Catch on fire. That’s my personal favorite.
KAYLA: Before the Sims there was a game called Second Life which I think was before our time but people would -
PERRY: Have we talked about Second Life?
KAYLA: People would go on and then you were yourselves and you’d have a job and it was like an online game so you’re actually interacting with all the people. So it was kind of like Club Penguin but with humans. And you would have a job, and you could like -
SARAH: Club People, if you will.
KAYLA: You could have a job and have like relationships with people and that was a real thing of like you could go online and truly be whatever you want but it’s still like, you.
SARAH: Yeah.
PERRY: And I think that’s something that video games are a very good space for is going in and being someone else and then thinking about how that affects you or how you would act in these situations or kind of what parts of yourself you’re putting into this game, I think it’s a very good way to… I think grow as a person. Get thinking about yourself.
KAYLA: It’s kind of like you can get experiences at least in some fashion that you would never have in real life. You’re having learning experiences that you might not ever be able to get for a multitude of reasons.
SARAH: Yeah. Then I feel like I get a lot of that when I’m writing because - I’ve mentioned this before - but like my main characters usually start as me or like some other version of myself, and then I change them until they’re not me. And I’ve kind of learned a lot about myself just from doing that.
PERRY: Thank god you change them.
SARAH: So they’re not like me? Yeah.
PERRY: I was a little late on it cause you were in the middle of your sentence.
SARAH: But that’s - I feel like I’ve learned a lot about not even just like who I am, but like, why do I keep writing characters that are like this? Oh, alright, cool. But I feel like it’s an even more intense version of that because you’re interacting with other people who have their own versions of themselves.
PERRY: Absolutely. Tea. Video games help you be better?
SARAH and KAYLA: Question Mark?
PERRY: Period.
ALL: Oh!
SARAH: That’s a hot take.
PERRY: Play more video games.
KAYLA: What do you think about - so I’m a communications major, and a lot of -
PERRY: Are you in a feminism class?
KAYLA: I am, thank you Perry. I’m hoping to do an episode about that class actually soon about -
SARAH: I can’t believe you’re in a feminism class.
[45:00]
KAYLA: I know. I’m doing a research project and I hoped to be able to talk about like my findings on the podcast in an episode, but that’s not allowed.
PERRY: Like you hope to be able to talk about the balloon? I’m sorry.
SARAH: We eventually did.
KAYLA: But I hope to talk about some of the stuff I learned through reading and doing the research. Anyway, what was I talking about?
PERRY: I mean, that’s what the thing is that inspired me to do this is that class we took and also I wanted to be on this fucking podcast for so long and I had to find something to talk about!
KAYLA: I know, we’ve needed something for Perry to talk about ‘cause we’ve wanted Perry on for so long and he has to have something to talk about.
SARAH: Yeah we can’t just have people on.
PERRY: And I'm not an interesting person.
KAYLA: That is a lie. My question was. So I’m a communications major and a lot of the major is like really theoretical shit, and so I’ve had to do a lot of reading about how videogames are bad for people and why videogames are running everything, and I find a lot of that research not nuanced at all.
PERRY: Ugh.
KAYLA: And I understand where they’re getting their data because it’s a scientific study but I just wanted to know your thoughts on that.
PERRY: I think … I’m sure there is some effect to that. I haven’t done the research, I kind of ignore that research cause I don’t like it and I’m a bad person.
KAYLA: Fair. No, that doesn’t make you a bad person.
PERRY: But it makes me not great. You shouldn’t just ignore things cause you don’t like what they’re gonna tell you.
SARAH: But a lot of different research just ends up getting disproven.
PERRY: Exactly.
SARAH: Or at least it’s more nuanced than people make it seem.
PERRY: I think also violent video games make people realize how bad violent situations can really be. I think if a video game is good, it will show you the trauma that comes with these violent actions.
SARAH: Yeah.
PERRY: God of War. That just came out last year, won game of the year, and it explores Kratos’s trying to move past his violent ways and his violent past to be part of a family and kind of open up and kind of work on accepting what he did but also moving past it and not being that person anymore.
SARAH: And I think for some people too it’s a form of catharsis. They’re able to get their anger out, which can work but also can make it worse.
KAYLA: My one thing with catharsis is they have done a lot of studies that catharsis like that isn’t actually real, and it makes it worse, it makes people angrier, but -
SARAH: We love anger.
PERRY: I think the thing about video games is that it’s not necessarily catharsis like that -
SARAH: It is an outlet.
PERRY: It’s something for you to do, something for you to put your energy into that kind of refreshes you and gives you something else to focus on that will make you then feel like -
SARHA: Yeah I don’t know if catharsis is the right word.
KAYLA: But it’s the same as, you know, any other hobby or thing you’re gonna get into. If you have someone that’s maybe in a bad situation and maybe, you know, idle hands make the devil’s work or whatever Christian grandmas say. For some people, if they’re not doing anything they’re gonna get into trouble, so if video games is what you’re gonna put in front of someone to get them to stop it then sure.
SARAH: Have them find a community.
PERRY: And that’s the other thing is like the gaming community is also like, a lot of the time as a whole, very wholesome and supportive. You always see these things where it’s like someone was really shitty in an online game, or like charities. Twitch streamers will have events for charities and raise a ton of money with the community.
KAYLA: So much money.
PERRY: The gaming community is like open and giving in a way that a lot of people don't realize cause all you ever hear about is the shitty stuff.
KAYLA: Yeah a lot of the research focuses on those games that are like just violent and I don’t think those games are as common anymore. I think a lot of the games now, even if they are first person shooter games, have a story behind them, and so it’s not like you’re just killing people. I guess I don’t know the story behind Call of Duty but like I take that as like you’re just killing people and I think those are the games that these researchers are focusing on instead of - like if you look at Legend of Zelda, there's a lot of you killing shit, but they’re not super worried.
PERRY: And it’s not people, it’s cartoonish graphics, and it’s more about the puzzles.
SARAH: Yeah, and it’s also a lot of like cooperation and a lot of these team oriented video games which is like -
KAYLA: It’s also really good for your brain.
PERRY: You also have to have some - like Sarah was saying, team games - you have to have some level of social skill.
[50:00]
SARAH: Yeah.
PERRY: It is a good space to go in and learn important social skills that you can then apply in the real world.
KAYLA: Cause you have to work together.
SARAH: I think a lot of people think about video games as like, just like a middle aged man sitting in his parents’ basement with headphones on, by himself, in the dark, just like playing a game. Talking to no one. But I think that’s an antiquated view of video games.
PERRY: Absolutely. I think that goes along with the “violent video games make you violent” and all the research on those games. At some point it was relevant ‘cause those were the popular games that everyone was playing, that’s what they mostly were. As an industry and as a community, we have moved past that I feel.
SARAH: And obviously there’s still gonna be shitty people who do shitty things, but it seems like as a whole the community is moving in the right direction.
PERRY: Absolutely.
KAYLA: Tea.
SARAH: So do you have anything else to add, Perry?
PERRY: I think that’s about covered it.
SARAH: Nice. What’s our poll this week?
KAYLA: Which one was better: M’agic M’ike or G’day M’ate?
PERRY: What was that?
KAYLA: G'day M’ate.
SARAH: This is an episode that is rife with potential options for serious polls.
KAYLA: And yet, this is what I have chosen.
PERRY: Come up with a good one that can be the second thing.
SARAH: You have to do it.
KAYLA: I have to do what?
SARAH: Come up with a poll. As your punishment.
KAYLA: You’re not my mother.
PERRY: Alright, the poll this week. Ah, fuck.
SARAH: It’s harder than you think it is.
PERRY: I know what I'm thinking.
KAYLA: Remember the first couple episodes we did polls and I would just pull them out of thin air?
SARAH: Poll them.
KAYLA: It was so easy and then -
PERRY: So we have four options, right? Ok: Are video games a constructive place? A constructive medium that can achieve that?
KAYLA: For like - ?
PERRY: For representation. They can achieve good representation. Yes, I’m a Gamer. No, I’m a Gamer. Yes, I’m not a gamer. No, I’m not a gamer.
KAYLA: Oh. Tea.
PERRY: Gaming, we’re not gonna gatekeep that, cause gaming can be just playing Candy Crush. Hell yeah. We’re dancing and throwing back to our classic.
SARAH: I think it should be like, general trends as a whole, is it moving towards, yeah.
PERRY: Yes, overall, that's better, yeah.
KAYLA: I’m trying to write…
PERRY: Yoink.
KAYLA: Perry’s gonna be on that twitter. Don’t tweet it though, cause -
SARAH: Okay. So while Perry’s doing that, Kayla what’s your beef of the week?
KAYLA: My beef of the week is my own senioritis. I - we are almost done - Sarah’s not quite done with school, we’ll get into all this later, but I am truly done and I’ve had a giant job lined up for a while, so I’ve been done with this shit.
SARAH: She been done.
KAYLA: I have two big ten page papers and I just can’t.
SARAH: Perry what's your beef of the week?
PERRY: Uh…
SARAH: Do you have something prepared or should I go first?
PERRY: You go, I gotta think of something.
SARAH: Ok. My beef of the week is that I got stress-induced heartburn and I’ve had it for several days. It's better than it was before. I think it’s stress induced. It definitely has something to do with stress ‘cause I’ve never gotten heartburn before and then my body was like hahahahahaha.
PERRY: Yikes.
SARAH: I think it was caused by things that cause heartburn, but it was made worse by stress. Also heartburn is worse if you eat a lot, and I stress-eat, so that’s definitely part of it.
PERRY: That is a big mood.
KAYLA: I was just talking about this. Me and our friend and Patron Asritha stress-don’t-eat.
PERRY: I stress eat cause I think it makes me feel good while I’m eating.
SARAH: I just forgot to eat today.
PERRY: Then it comes back to bite me so hard.
SARAH: Also my eye keeps twitching.
KAYLA: I can’t help you with that. Want some sage?
SARAH: No. What were you gonna say?
KAYLA: I forget.
SARAH: Cool. Perry, what’s your beef of the week?
PERRY: I just can't think of a better one. I mean not that this is a bad one, I was trying to think of - my beef of the week is shitty people in video games. Don’t do it. Be nice.
SARAH: Like people who play them or characters?
PERRY: People who play them and people that are streamers, like, be nice y’all. It’s not that hard.
SARAH: Um, so you can find those things and tell us about your beef of the week on our twitter @soundsfakepod, you can find all of our other social media, paypal, patreon -
[55:00]
SARAH: - all that fun stuff, soundsfakepod.com. We have some patrons. If you want to give us money, like he does -
KAYLA: Be like Perry.
SARAH: Then you can. Before I go into Patrons, Perry since you’re on the pod, do you have anything you want to promote?
PERRY: So like, if this was several months ago, when I wasn’t as shitty but doing art, I would promote my art instagram, which I probably will still do.
KAYLA: His art instagram is so good.
SARAH: He, guess what he did.
KAYLA: It’s not done yet.
SARAH: Guess what he’s doing? Something. I’m so excited.
PERRY: Well now I have to finish it. Fuck.
SARAH: I didn’t tell them what it was. It could be a jellyfish.
KAYLA: I feel like you could insinuate.
SARAH: Fine, I’ll cut it out of the pod,
PERRY: You have some loyal listeners, they’ll know. I mean, you can keep it in, I don’t care. Anyways, I’ll do it. Fucking art instagram, ah fuck.
SARAH: You don’t know what it is?
PERRY: I know what it is, I don’t know if it’s understorms or dashes. It’s -
KAYLA: Understorms? Did you think you were just gonna get away with that?
PERRY: Yes, so.
SARAH: I didn’t notice that.
PERRY: Moving on. My art instagram is artthouperry with underscores in between the words. My regular Instagram is -
SARAH: Wait, what is it?
KAYLA: Art thou Perry. Get it?
SARAH: Oh, I get it. I follow your art instagram.
PERRY: Wherefore art thou, Perry?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: That’s good.
PERRY: Thank you.
SARAH: I follow it, I just never noticed that.
PERRY: It’s cause I haven’t posted for two months. There’s a lot of art on my regular instagram, that’s just PerryFiero all one word, underscores. You don’t know how to spell that.
SARAH: Wait I don’t follow your art instagram, what?
PERRY: It’s fine.
SARAH: I do now.
KAYLA: I do. Do better.
PERRY: It’s PerryFiero on instagram. P E R R Y F I E R O.
SARAH: Also known as Piano Fiano. Perry Fairy.
PERRY: Also gonna shout out my twitter cause I have unlimited power and I think I’m funny.
KAYLA: He is funny.
PERRY: It’s @PerryFiero once again, all one word, except the O in Fiero is a zero.
KAYLA: It is?
SARAH: Yeah, it is.
KAYLA: I’ve never noticed her.
PERRY: It’s a reference to Borderlands. Cause Zero is the character I play as, he spells it with a Zero. They spell it with a Zero. Fuck, I fucked up his - their - fuck! I keep messing up their pronouns.
SARAH: You fixed it. It’s okay. Okay, well our Patrons. We got $2 Patrons Keith McBlane, Roxanna, Alice is in Space, Anonymous, Quentin Pollock, Nathan Dennison, Mariah Walter. [Perry beatboxes, Sarah tries to speak on beat]. $5: Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Lane, Drew Vinny, You, Aunt Jeanie, D, and a new one - it’s Benjamin Yabarra.
KAYLA: You’re runinig the vibe, Sarah.
SARAH: I’m sorry. Benjamin I don't know how to pronounce your last name. We also have $10 Patrons.
KAYLA: I’m jamming right now, dude.
SARAH: It’s Kevin and Tessa. @DirtyUncleKevin and @Tessa_M_K. There were too many syllables, I'm sorry. Sarah Jones, Eternal Lolly, Everywhere, Arkness. I hate everything about this.
KAYLA: No, we’re having a good time.
SARAH: I hate this.
KAYLA: You can do it.
SARAH: Arkness would like to promote the Trevor Project. Nathaniel White would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, and our Anonymous patron would like to promote the end of the semester.
KAYLA: Oh mood.
PERRY: [Singing.] Will you stay here with me for the rest of the semester?
SARAH: What is going on?
PERRY: [Singing.] We won’t need any food. We’ll live on sex alone.
SARAH: Thanks for listening.
KAYLA: Hello???
PERRY: It’s fucking Fun Home.
KAYLA: Fun Home is so good.
SARAH: Anyway. Perry, thank you for joining us.
KAYLA: Thank you for being another version of me.
SARAH: I’m a little upset about some of the things that you said on this podcast, mostly at the very beginning, but I appreciate you.
KAYLA: I’m not mad.
SARAH: If you want to be as cool as Perry you should be a patron, too. He’s a five dollar patron.
PERRY: I am.
SARAH: That’s not even that many dollars.
PERRY: It’s not that many dollars.
SARAH: But it helps us.
PERRY: Don’t feel bad if you can’t do it cause everyone has a different situation.
SARAH: That’s true. But if you can do it, and you’re choosing not to -
PERRY: You can’t fucking guilt people into giving you money, Sarah, goddamit.
SARAH: I’m sorry.
KAYLA: I’ll guilt them.
PERRY: Do you know how bad I would feel if I heard that and I couldn’t donate?
SARAH: Sorry.
KAYLA: I’m only guilting those of you that are rich and are not donating.
PERRY: Ok that’s fair.
KAYLA: The rest of you are fine.
PERRY: Rich people should feel guilty.
KAYLA: But I know who you are - I don’t know who they are. If you’re rich, I can tell.
PERRY: Stay with it.
SARAH: I can tell based off your twitter handles that you’re rolling in it. Alright. Anyway. Thanks for listening. Thank you for being here, Perry. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ear.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
PERRY: Moooooo.
[Sarah beatboxes.]
KAYLA: Oh, take us out.
PERRY: Yes. Absolutely.