Ep 10: Little Ace in a Big, Big World
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SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl, I'm Sarah that is me
KAYLA: And a straight girl, that's me, Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode: the existence of ace people.
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
KAYLA: Welcome back, woo.
SARAH: Yep. Alright. This week we’re talking about...
KAYLA: Little Ace in a big, big world.
SARAH: I’m a little ace in a big, big world.
KAYLA: Sarah’s just a small ace (SARAH: yeah, we’re just going to) in a tall, tall world (SARAH: okay).
SARAH: Yeah, but basically this week, we’re just going to kinda talk about what it’s like being ace in a society that isn’t necessarily friendly to ace people.
KAYLA: And doesn’t understand it (SARAH: right) Still learning (SARAH: right).
SARAH: Because... ah so I tweeted just the other day for national coming out day and one of the things I mentioned in that was that ace people are in kind of a weird liminal space, this weird limbo because you know between straight and gay (KAYLA: yep). Because I mean technically, we touched on this a little bit before, but technically we are a queer identity.
KAYLA: Because anything that is not straight is queer. (SARAH: Right) By definition.
SARAH: But a lot of people define queer as you know, being attracted to people of the same gender or...
KAYLA: Right. They don’t define it as not being attracted to anyone (SARAH: Right). People have a hard time wrapping their brain around that.
SARAH: Exactly! So we’re stuck in this kind of weird spot in between straight and gay and I think there’s also I personally haven’t experienced a lot of direct like discrimination or anything but there is judgment both from the straight community and the LGBTQA+ community about whether or not this is a valid identity and whether or not we belong.
KAYLA: Yeah, and I know we talked about that a little bit in the episode we talked about the need to identify and the problem of going to pride parades and feeling comfortable there (SARAH: yeah) and such, and how you were saying the one pride parade in Germany had an ace, you know, like group of people. So they had a thing for ace people which is really great, but even yeah big establishments like pride parades, some people are very welcoming and awesome (SARAH: yeah) but there’s also of course...
SARAH: There are also others who aren’t (KAYLA: yeah). And that’s stupid. KAYLA: That sucks! They’re dumb! Everyone’s dumb!
SARAH: Yes. But yeah, because one of the things they did talk about in those tweets are a lot of ace people are kinda faced with the question of whether or not they should or need to come out. And that’s sort of an interesting question because it’s like, some straight people or even some LGBTQIA+ people, well probably not A (KAYLA: no, laughs), but LGBT+ people, would you know think that you’re not, it’s not like your announcing that you’re going to be dating the same gender.
KAYLA: Right, like you are announcing that you will not be dating, probably.
SARAH: A lot of people kinda struggle with like “Do I need to come out? What will like, the consequences of coming out be?” (KAYLA: Mm-hmm) Like is it really going to help me at all? Because a lot of people who are gay, they may come out because they feel like they can’t hide it anymore.
KAYLA: Right, I feel like for a lot... people who are gay, or bi or anything like that, it’s like it’s very hard to keep a secret if you want to be actively you know dating and in relationships (SARAH: right) and so it’s kinda a thing about like, well it’s going to come out eventually (SARAH: right) if you don’t want to live a life that’s probably very stressful (SARAH: right) and secrecy so you have to do it yourself. For ace people, you could go your whole life and no one could know (SARAH: yeah) like, it’s very easy to ... no one to find out (SARAH: yeah). Because, you know.
SARAH: Yeah, and so there’s the question of like “Do you want people to know? Is that something about you that you think is important for other people to know? Um, will the people around you be accepting and understanding of it?” Um, and so like for me when I like to come out that I…. it was a very freeing thing for me I was also... it was a long time before I got to the point.
KAYLA: Yeah, it was definitely (SARAH: that it would be). It was a process before you had come out to just a few people before you came out.
SARAH: Yeah, (KAYLA: it was like a year) yeah, it was a good year.
KAYLA: Before you, were comfortable (SARAH: yeah). You, your biggest thing was you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. (SARAH: yeah) Because it wasn’t a big deal to you it was just who you were.
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SARAH: And it’s also just like, especially with my sexuality, I feel like people would not receive it well if I try to make a big deal out of it. (KAYLA: right) Just because the way I am not being like alright I am dating girls now (KAYLA: yeah). Because that seems to me like what’s quote unquote a bigger deal which is a stupid thought to have.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I mean a lot of people might be like “okay and?”
SARAH: Yeah, exactly. (KAYLA: Yep) So, it’s stupid. (KAYLA: Mm-hmm). So basically, even just coming out aside, society does not consider ace people, specifically aroace people ever, like…
KAYLA: Yeah, (laugh). It’s a very hard thing I think for a lot of people to wrap their head around. (SARAH: yeah). Because for a lot of people, they do experience sexual attraction or romantic attraction and relationships are such a big part of our society. Like romcoms, you have romantic books, like everyone always asks you when you’re getting married, who you’re dating like, it’s such a big deal to us (SARAH: yeah). And so people can’t wrap their minds around something they have never experienced. Like people can't imagine their different types of attractions being separated (SARAH: yeah). Or to never have sexual attraction. People are so confused because they've never experienced that before.
SARAH: Right. And so even people who are very accepting, who are maybe even members of the LGBTQA+ community will like... I saw a post just the other day that was talking about something to do with men and having sex. And it was like 99% of men... no some percentage of men like say something about sex, and the person was like the other 40% or whatever was wrong. And I was like, who's to say that all of those people are having sex (KAYLA: yeah) like how... what? (KAYLA: yeah) Even people who are allies or are in the community, they assume that all people do that.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think I saw a post, it may have been on the same one or one similar, it was like, only 60% of men think that they are affected by birth control. (SARAH: yeah). And, so that’s a whole other basket of issues (SARAH: right, whole other issue) but someone quote tweeted it and was like well is the other 40% just not doing the sex.
SARAH: And I was like maybe?
KAYLA: And it was kinda like I think meant to be kinda a joke but the way the tweet was worded was in a funny way (SARAH: right) but like, yeah maybe? Like maybe those 40% are gay? (SARAH: yeah) They don’t need birth control.
SARAH: Yeah, right. Like I understand the argument about birth control. Yes, a lot of men are impacted by it but like you’re failing to consider the men who straight up just might not be.
KAYLA: Yep, they never will be. (SARAH: yeah). They don’t need it.
SARAH: And so that’s just the assumption always (KAYLA: yep). That you are going to be in a relationship or engaged in sexual activities of some sort, and it is everywhere in society. Like one of the things that I’ve really noticed since I’ve kinda realized my sexuality is, my dude, music. (KAYLA: yeah). Like, what? (Laughs) Think about it. The majority of music, what is it about, Kayla?
KAYLA: This dick.
SARAH: Okay, it’s love songs. In some way.
KAYLA: This dick. (SARAH: yes) And drugs. And drinking (SARAH: yeah). Even more difficult for you, because Sarah doesn’t drink.
SARAH: Right, so like I remember you said once that when you were listening to some of Super Fruit’s music you were saying it was really weird but also cool for you. That was the first time you had ever heard boys openly singing about other boys.
KAYLA: Yeah, a lot of times even gay musicians when they’re singing love songs will be like “oh, girl” and it’s like why are you doing that? So it’s really cool for Super Fruit because they always are saying boy. This is probably so relevant and uplifting to a lot of people.
SARAH: And like the first time I experienced that was a couple of years ago with Troye Sivan. It was the same thing. This is a gay boy singing about boys and that's super cool. (KAYLA: yep) And I think that representation is very important but with that said, if you’re gay and you hear like, a love song about a heterosexual couple, correct me if I’m wrong but it’s not like you can't still relate to the emotions of the song.
KAYLA: Well, yeah.
SARAH: And like you can even I would be singing this to a different gender than you are if I were singing it.
KAYLA: Yeah, it’s like how when a lot of people do cover songs they will actually change the pronoun. (SARAH: right). It’s still the same concept of like love and relationships. It’s still totally relatable (SARAH: yeah). Also obviously, it’s awesome to have different representations but yes, still relatable.
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SARAH: And like because romantic love is supposedly universal in that way (KAYLA: Mm-hmm) but I just have no connection to love songs at all. And if I do, I have to completely reframe my head from how they were meant to be. And so that's just a weird disconnect between me and society at large. I just cannot think of music in the same way that other people do. And like it’s hard to ignore once you notice it. (KAYLA: yeah). And so one of the things I really like the band 21 Pilots, and I realized a couple of years ago before I realized I was aroace, that one of the things I really liked about them was that they have almost zero love songs. Of their two...like they've had more than two albums, but their last two were their real mainstream.
KAYLA: Yeah, big ones.
SARAH: Between those two albums, there is one explicit love song. (KAYLA: right). Not explicit like swearing but explicitly about love. And it’s really cute because it’s about Tyler Joseph’s wife. And for me, I really like that they have a lot of songs that don’t have to do with love that I can relate to better than any song that is about romantic love (KAYLA: right). That was something that I had always liked and it was something in hindsight that made sense that I liked that about them.
KAYLA: Yeah. And you brought it up to me a week or so ago because you were trying to write music (SARAH: yeah). And you were like, I have nothing to write about.
SARAH: Yeah, that was the thing. (KAYLA: And you couldn’t think of anything). Yeah, I recently decided just for shits and giggles that I wanna try and write some music and I’m very bad at it but just for fun. It’s difficult for me to find things to write about (KAYLA: yeah) that I feel. I mean there's a whole range of human emotions that you could write about, right. (KAYLA: yeah) Like it’s not like you can only write about romantic love songs but it’s also just like the precedent and being able to be like I want to write music like this, what can I do to write music like this, like I have 21 Pilots like, what. And like, just like music that other people can relate to and stuff. If I want to have a song that I feel like authentically, genuinely reflects me it’s not going to be a love song that people can relate to.
KAYLA: Right, and it’s like how are you going to sing about being ace in a compelling way?
SARAH: Yeah, in a way that people can relate to.
KAYLA: Like, I can’t even. What would your lyrics be? (Laughs.)
SARAH: (singing) I don’t want your dick.
KAYLA: I don’t like that penis. (Both laugh). Like, because obviously there’s a lot of human emotions and a lot of things that humans experience but you don’t want to hear about lots of that in a song like (SARAH: yeah) like today I saw my mom, that was pretty cool (SARAH: right). Like, no one gives a shit!
SARAH: Yeah, and like the other most common thing songs are about is partying and drinking.
KAYLA: You don’t do that either.
SARAH: I don’t drink and like, I’m not a partier.
KAYLA: Yeah, you’re not a huge party person.
SARAH: So it’s like what do I write about?
KAYLA: You could... your plants?
SARAH: I’ve got plants.
KAYLA: You love... you’ve got a lot of good plants.
SARAH: I’ve got plants. Yeah, I love them. And I think that’s the (phone notification) … Kayla? (laughs)
KAYLA: Oh no! (laughs)
SARAH: Not again. But yeah, and I think that’s something that seems like such a small thing, like if you’re not... if it’s something that you don’t experience and you are just living your day-to-day life and you’re like who the fuck cares if you can’t relate to the music. But like, yep, it gets to you. If you think about it too much it will get to you and that’s one of the things about, like this podcast which has been interesting is it forces me to confront my sexuality (KAYLA: yeah) all the time (KAYLA: yeah). And it’s like...
KAYLA: At least once a week. (laughs)
SARAH: At least once a week. And so like I, being an ace person, this is true of any sexuality but especially true of ace people just because we fly under the radar so much is like you can kind of ignore it and kinda just push it away in your head, which is in a way a privilege because not all people who fall under the LGBTQA+ spectrum can do that (KAYLA: right). But it’s the sort of thing where it’s like alright, I’m going to try to convince my brain to just like not think about it right now but then like when I do this I have to think about it.
KAYLA: Yeah, it’s not necessarily healthy to not think about it (SARAH: yeah) because it’s a big part of your life and it’s definitely done the same thing for me. Ever since you came out, it’s forced me to confront stuff about my own sexuality too (SARAH: yeah) just because I know so much more. Like, you taught me what demi was
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SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And especially this podcast has made me think about it a lot more and now that one day I’ll start dating again makes me have to think about, like what do I, how do I confront dating now that I know this is part of me?
SARAH: Right, yeah. I’m like I think that sort of thing, society just not viewing you as a normal thing, a thing that society even thinks about, all this little stuff that builds up. I think that’s part of the reason that a lot of ace people might feel like they are broken, there is something wrong with them. And there are ace people who will go to the doctor and have doctors tell them that they do have hormonal imbalances (KAYLA: right) and some people do have hormonal imbalances (KAYLA: right) but not all ace people do and just because you do that doesn’t make you ace and there not related at all (KAYLA: yeah). They’re entirely different things (KAYLA: yep). And so that’s a lot of people, who if you tell them you’re ace, they'll be like oh so, they think there's something wrong with you. And there's not.
KAYLA: Right, like “oh, whatever makes your hormones and sexual libido and whatever must be broken.” (SARAH: yeah) And who knows, one day there might be some scientific research that links hormones to gay people and ace people and everything (SARAH: yeah) and be helpful in explaining why people have these different attractions (SARAH: yeah). But that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong either (SARAH: right). It’s just an explanation of why things might be that way. Of why some men might be more attracted to some men because maybe this one hormone has a different balance than straight people. Like, who knows?
SARAH: Right and I think it’s just... it kinda brings up the question of okay if you could change your sexuality would you?
KAYLA: Yeah, because then if one day we do discover that this is what causes it, what? Are people going to start being like, well now I know how to fix it. I’m going to fix it.
SARAH: And I feel like a lot of people who have accepted their sexuality and are happy in their life like they would never go back.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But then, at the same time. Like, I wouldn’t want to change my sexuality just because this is the way I’ve always known it to be. I wouldn’t necessarily want to change that but also part of me’s like I kind of want to understand, I kind of want to be able to relate to this song. Yeah, and to just know what it’s like.
KAYLA: Talking about people who do have sexual interests find it hard to wrap their mind around what you go through (SARAH: yeah) but it’s also hard for you to wrap your mind around what it feels like to have romantic or sexual attraction (SARAH: yeah). Like, you’ve never had that. You don’t know.
SARAH: Yeah, I don’t understand it.
KAYLA: Yeah, like when me or one of your other friends are dating someone you don’t fully understand everything on the deepest level that’s going on.
SARAH: Yeah, and it’s just a thing that happens but like…
KAYLA: And it is weird because everyone makes such a big deal out of it. Like we talked about that with the romantic vs platonic relationships (SARAH: right). How important romantic relationships are to people (SARAH: yeah) and so it’s something that you are kind of left out of.
SARAH: Yeah, it’s just something that I have to accept that society as a whole thinks it’s cool and great but I will never understand it (KAYLA: yeah) and so it’s a weird alienation thing. Like society’s not actively trying to alienate me but it still happens just because I can’t... I don’t have any connection to what that is like at all. So that’s stupid. But there's nothing we can do about it.
KAYLA: Can I take you on a date so you can have a real date?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Do you want to experience your first date?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: I’ll take you on a date, don’t worry.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: No, you know what, it’s fine.
SARAH: Kayla...
KAYLA: Now we’re going to go on a date.
SARAH: We spend so much time with each other is that not always a date?
KAYLA: No, we’re going on a… it’s like when married couples have like date night.
SARAH: I know but...
KAYLA: We’re going on a date … shut up.
SARAH: Kayla, no!
KAYLA: We’re going … we’re going on a date.
SARAH: Oh my God!
KAYLA: Cute, vote now on your phones. Where should me and Sarah go on a date? (laughs)
SARAH: I’m going to kill Kayla. Why is she like this?
KAYLA: Are you embarrassed because you want to go on a date with me so bad?
SARAH: No, I don’t.
KAYLA: She’s blushing.
SARAH: I’m not! (laughs)
KAYLA: We don’t believe you!
SARAH: Oh my God! I’m not!
KAYLA: She’s so excited to go on a date.
SARAH: I think you can tell by my tone of voice that I’m just … not … blushing.
KAYLA: She’s trying to hide it. She’s an actress.
SARAH: Anyway, bitch! (Kayla laughs). But yeah, do you have any thoughts and comments?
KAYLA: I feel like I did. Let me think.
SARAH: Thoughts and questions? Comments? Concerns? FAQ is attached. We don’t have an FAQ. Should we make an FAQ?
KAYLA: We don’t have any people that ask us any questions.
SARAH: Good plan.
KAYLA: One day. When people start engaging with us. Make an FAQ.
SARAH: (laughs) Okay.
KAYLA: Sarah, what are your feelings and thoughts about... just being non-existent?
SARAH: Ah, yes. There I am not here.
KAYLA: About being a ghost, perhaps.
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SARAH: Yeah, related to all this some people just straight up don’t think that ace people exit.
KAYLA: They’re like “that makes no sense to me, I don’t understand that, I don’t think that exists.”
SARAH: And I think that's just a basic problem just with basic human understanding. That just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s not valid.
KAYLA: Also it’s like if some of these people are the same people that believe in a God or a deity, bitch you’ve never seen that. It’s like the same … I don’t know people that...
SARAH: I am a God! Is what you’re telling us...
KAYLA: Well, I’m a demi-goddess so.
SARAH: Oh my God!
KAYLA: So one day I’ll get a tinder again and that’ll be my bio.
SARAH: Demi-goddess.
KAYLA: I actually thought about that like five days ago (laughs).
SARAH: Oh my God!
KAYLA: I’ve been planning (laughs). I’ve been planning for my reemergence onto the market.
SARAH: Amazing!
KAYLA: Because yeah, if it’s the same thing as well I’ve never seen this God and that kind of thing, it’s the whole thing of do you need to see it to believe it? Do you need to experience it for yourself to believe it?
SARAH: I don’t experience romantic attraction, does that mean that I don’t...
BOTH: Think it exists.
KAYLA: There’s so much that I’ve not experienced that I know exists just because maybe I saw it on TV or someone told me about it (SARAH: yeah). You can have indirect experiences that give you an understanding of things (SARAH: yeah) but people still have the hardest time.
SARAH: And I think on top of that, just in terms of the asexuality spectrum in general, I think it’s also just people not understanding what ace means (KAYLA: yeah). Like a lot of people assume that being ace means being celibate and they have nothing to do with each other.
KAYLA: And some people think that it’s just like that you don’t want a relationship and I’ve had people who were surprised to hear you talk about like the future relationships and friendships you wanted and they were like “I assumed she just wanted to be alone.”
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: That she didn’t want like, even a QPR maybe in her future and I was like wanting a romantic relationship and wanting relationships at all really (SARAH: there very different) there not related at all (SARAH: yeah) but people they just have a basic misunderstanding of what you want.
SARAH: Yeah, and I think we talked about this before. We're definitely going to do an episode about the different … within asexuality, there's a spectrum. Like sex-repulsed, sex-positive, or in-between (KAYLA: yes). We’ll do a whole episode about that so I’m not going to go into too much detail now (KAYLA: right) but like, some ace people are celibate, some ace people are not.
KAYLA: Yeah, some people are repulsed by the thought of it, some people, some ace people have sex.
SARAH: Like the idea that all ace people are celibate is first of all just not true. Second of all, celibacy is a choice, sexuality is not. And that’s the basic, basic difference that people fail to grasp.
KAYLA: Yeah, people think that you just don’t want to date anyone (SARAH: yeah). But really, you just like…. it’s not that you can’t date anyone but that you can’t... (SARAH: right). It’s not that you don’t, it’s that you won’t.
SARAH: Yes, it’s difficult to convey in the English language but I know what you mean!
KAYLA: Can you say it in German?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: What’s the point of you? Why would I keep you around?
SARAH: (Laughs) Why? But yeah, it’s just people don’t fully understand it and I feel left out and forgotten. Even people who do understand it or claim to understand it don’t remember that we exist.
KAYLA: And even people who are working very hard to understand and be accepting of what you are and your sexuality and it’s just very hard to get in your brain (SARAH: It’s a process). And that’s the good thing about this podcast is I learn a lot too, over the however many years before you came out to me.
SARAH: One year.
KAYLA: How long? It’s been a year since you came out to me.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. Like it has been a learning process and we have had a lot of conversations before we even thought about this podcast of you just sitting down and being like here's how it is. Because I just like...
SARAH: Yeah, like when…
KAYLA: It’s hard to take it in sometimes.
SARAH: When my mom found out, she just asked me to explain it because she didn’t know, she didn’t understand. And I think that’s the best course of action is if you don’t understand ask (KAYLA: yeah). Don’t be insensitive about it (KAYLA: yeah). Just ask. Don't be insensitive but just say “hi, I don’t understand this. Can you explain to me”.
KAYLA: Yeah, instead of saying I don’t understand this must not exist (SARAH: right) it’s I don’t understand please explain to me how this exists (SARAH: yeah). And there’s always more to learn.
25:00
SARAH: Exactly, and there are things under the ace umbrella that I don’t quite understand. Like last week, I’ve gotten better at understanding sensual attraction but it’s just kind of hard for me to differentiate.
KAYLA: Yeah, since we've done last week’s episode I’ve seen some stuff that explains it to me better. And a lot of you guys actually voted sensual attraction in the poll (SARAH: Mm-hmm, yeah) and I’d love to hear from you guys about what that means to you and how it affects you because that's definitely the one I think we both struggle with the most (SARAH: yeah) but want to learn about.
SARAH: Yeah, I agree. And I also think, this is jumping back a hot second but...
KAYLA: A toasty second.
SARAH: A toasty second. But for me, the reason I have... I mean there's always room to grow. As much as an understanding of romantic and sexual attraction as I have, even though I don't experience it, I have that understanding because I have spent the last twenty years watching it and being immersed in a society that appreciates and just loves it.
KAYLA: Right but even you ask questions. Like, one of the bases for this podcast was you texting me questions that I or other people found funny because a lot of people or we assume a lot of people understand them and then you (SARAH: don’t) were like I don’t get this.
SARAH: Yeah, but along the same lines, I have had two decades to be immersed in this culture of romantic and sexual relationships and I have had all that time to learn it. So, if you don’t fully understand stuff under the ace umbrella or just LGBTQI+ or anything there, it’s probably because you haven’t had the time to learn and understand it. Learning and understanding stuff takes time. It took me a while to figure out and don’t feel bad if you don’t understand, just ask questions and try to learn.
KAYLA: Yeah, and it’s a hard thing for me too because when we talked about the need to identify, one of my main reasons for not trying to fully identify as demi is because I still don’t understand a lot of the ace umbrella. And so I still feel like an imposter and too much of a straight person. But that’s obviously a problem that I need to just get over because you don’t need to know everything to identify.
SARAH: Right, and that’s something that really helped me when I decided to take on the aro label. Was like I need to stop waiting until I’m 100% positive and just try it on and see if it works. And that's when I was like, yeah this works.
KAYLA: And honestly, once I get back into dating that’s probably when I will do that. Is like trying it on, maybe telling people and just going with it as an identity and seeing if I feel like it’s right.
SARAH: I also think with people who have identities under the ace umbrella but are not necessarily aroace, they might be heteroromantic bisexual or something along those lines. I think it would be even weirder for them to exist in an ace space because they are existing in the ace space as well as another space.
KAYLA: Yeah, they’re like half ace, half not.
SARAH: Yeah, and I think that is just another struggle of like, they’re alienated in some ways by society but in other ways, society is like “hell yeah!” So...
KAYLA: Yeah, it’s like they’re alienated by both groups at once but accepted by both groups at once. Because half of their identity is good and half is bad in each community.
SARAH: Honestly, that's the paradox of ace umbrella identities in general.
KAYLA: Yeah I mean that’s my main problem.
SARAH: Is just some of the LGBTQIA+ community accepts you, some of it doesn’t. Some of the straight community accepts you, some of it doesn’t. And it’s difficult because obviously, any LGBTQIA+ identity is going to be alienated by some people and not others but because the ace community does have alienation in the queer community and the straight community it’s rough.
KAYLA: It’s a rough place to be.
SARAH: Yeah. So pray for us all. But also try and educate your friends because that's the best way that we’re going to move forward.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Is people understanding.
KAYLA: And it’s been really great because people have told us about this podcast, that they feel that they have learned so much and they are so much more aware of things. Which is awesome but obviously this is not the only way (SARAH: Right). If you don’t like us!
SARAH: And were not experts.
KAYLA: Bitch! And we’re obviously not experts. But there's so many other ways to educate yourselves and educate your friends. Obviously, we’d love for you to share our podcast! (SARAH: Yeah, obviously). It’d be a way of education a bit.
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SARAH: Yeah, and if you guys have any specific, I mean there are some topics I don’t feel comfortable explaining myself just because I don’t have a good enough understanding of them. I’ve read a lot of watched a lot of videos. I’ve probably watched every ace Youtube video because there are like, 3 of them (laughs)! But if you ever want to know more, or know more in-depth shoot us an email and I might be able to help you find some resources. Just because I’ve read so many. Also Google man, Google. Also, just if you have questions or not even, I mean if you want to make it a podcast topic sure, but even if you just have questions that you want to ask anonymously or not anonymously ask us. Because I understand that not all people who listen may necessarily personally know or feel comfortable asking anyone who is ace. I think that's part of the problem - a lot of ace people, because we do fly under the radar, part of the reason why we’re forgotten is people may know ace people without knowing that they know ace people.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think I’d be cool if we get enough questions about this if we could make a resource page on our Tumblr or something with stuff that you’ve read or watched and a bunch of links.
SARAH: Yeah, that’d be dope! You know what else would be cool?
KAYLA: Your mum? Or dog? Some soup? I’m so hungry (laughs).
SARAH: You know what else would be cool?
KAYLA: Oh, I got it. Umm, donuts?
SARAH: If we, got enough people to ask us questions that we could just do a Q&A episode.
KAYLA: Fun, I’d love to do a Q&A episode. Because some of my favorite podcasts do a lot of email questions and tweet question segments and that’s some of my favorite parts.
SARAH: I mean my favorite podcast is Dear Hank and John.
KAYLA: Really, is that... I’ve never heard you mention, like every episode.
SARAH: There’s a poster on my wall. But is literally the premise of that podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, I’d love to have a Q&A episode. That would be super awesome!
SARAH: Yeah, so basically...
KAYLA: Basically we’re telling you, ask us a motherfucking question. We need friends. I recently realized that I only have two groups of friends and I would like to expand that.
SARAH: Yep, you can have pod friends.
KAYLA: I want a pod friend.
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: A prend.
SARAH: A prend. Alright Kayla, what's the poll this week?
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Okay, we’ve deliberated.
KAYLA: Alright, we're back.
SARAH: We’re back.
KAYLA: We’ve deliberated. We've thought a lot for like two minutes.
SARAH: Alright, this week we’re not doing strictly a poll we’re doing an open-ended question.
KAYLA: Where it forces you to respond. And then we’ll actually know who responds what (SARAH: true) because in polls it’s anonymous and I’m always like who.
SARAH: Or you could, like, email us and not go anonymously and whatever. But basically, we want to know what is your favorite nonlove song that has nothing to do with romantic or sexual love. Or sexual attraction, romantic attraction, nothing to do with any of those things. What is your favorite one? I like this question because then it makes them think about it.
KAYLA: What if we got enough we could make a cute little Spotify playlist.
SARAH: Yes, please! Yeah, if we get enough
KAYLA: Wait, actually 8-tracks because I want more minutes!
SARAH: I hate 8-tracks so.
KAYLA: I know but now we’re mad at it.
SARAH: I used to really like 8-tracks but it’s just gone to the dumps.
KAYLA: This is, we've gone off-topic. Anyway.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: That’s the poll. Where can you find that question?
SARAH: Yeah, on Twitter. If you don’t have a Twitter feel free to email us at soundsfakepod@gmail.com. Our Twitter is also @soundsfakepod.
KAYLA: Or you can just drop it in the comments of wherever your listening or reading so Soundcloud, Apple Podcast, Stitcher radio, many other. Really wherever you find your podcast we’re probably there. Drop it in the comments, leave a cute review on Apple Podcasts, I’d really appreciate it I like looking at them and tell us them there too. Then maybe, if we get enough we can compile the playlist.
SARAH: Yeah, we’ll update you next week about this playlist.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: YAY!! Um, Patreon.
KAYLA: That was a terrible segway, can we redo it.
SARAH: That was the best segway I’ve ever made and I’m keeping it! PATREON!!
KAYLA: WOO!!
SARAH: We have still our lovely three Patreon patrons. In the $5 category
KAYLA: You can't talk so slow if you want to speed this up Sarah (laughs).
SARAH: I’ve been trying to speed it up so it’s not taking so much time but it’s just not going well. Okay, we have Jennifer Smart. Jennifer Smart is a lovely human, we finally talked to her, she is great.
KAYLA: She is so lovely!
SARAH: She is amazing! But anyway, for her we are promoting a nice little YouTube page, it’s called, I don’t know how to pronounce it.
KAYLA: I know, I meant to ask her but I didn’t because I got scared.
SARAH: My guess is it’s la-en productions. It’s lehen productions on YouTube.
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KAYLA: So put that in the search bar.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You’ll probably be the first video that comes up will probably be her reel. And it’s really cool.
SARAH: It’s really good.
KAYLA: There's a lot of cool graphics and stuff. It’s so cute. I’m mad at her for being so talented. Please stop. But also don't but please.
SARAH: It’s good. Alright, next we have Asritha. Asritha is still promoting her singleness.
KAYLA: You guys have left her single for three weeks now and I’m rather...
SARAH: Unbelievable!
KAYLA: ...disappointed in you. Though many of you are ace so I suppose I understand (Laughs) and this podcast is the wrong platform for her but whatever.
SARAH: It’s fine. Her Instagram is at asritha_v. That is @asritha_v. $10 patrons we have Emma.
KAYLA: We do.
SARAH: Just living her best life.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. She wants to borrow my shoes.
SARAH: Does she?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: She has a really good Halloween costume? Do you know how you can find out about what the Halloween costume is going to be? Following her on Twitter/Instagram, both at Emmatfink, (spells)Emmatfink. (claps) Woo!! We did it! That was faster!
KAYLA: Yeah, we're getting better!
SARAH: We’re getting better! Alright, thank you for listening and tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.