Ep 7: Labeling Your Sexuality
SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: And a straight girl (that’s me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: Labeling your sexuality.
BOTH: — Sounds fake, but okay.
*Intro music*
KAYLA: Welcome back. A disclaimer, as we sometimes have.
SARAH: Indeed.
KAYLA: This is not something I think is fake, or Sarah thinks is fake.
SARAH: But we’ve got to get those interesting titles.
KAYLA: But we got them titles, and it is something that I just struggle with personally.
SARAH: It’s fine
KAYLA: So it's fine.
SARAH: Another side note, I'm currently watching my family dog while my parents are gone, and she did not want to be left alone outside of my room. But it's very hot, it's the first day of fall and it's like 90 degrees, and we don't have air conditioning. So if you hear a panting dog –
KAYLA: He is right here next to us.
SARAH: KAYLA: She is right here.
KAYLA: I'm sure you can hear her.
SARAH: Yes. Just imagine a cute dog face and that's, you know, that's all.
KAYLA: So sorry about that panting dog. We'll post a picture of her, so at least you can have a cute face with that panting noise. A third update, and then we'll just get going. Recently, we've had to make some purchases for the podcast, because we are adult ladies who podcast.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So we set up a little Patreon to help us fund that. If you don't know what that is, it's kind of like a crowdsourcing thing where you can pledge money, and we'll give you little perks. It's pretty cute.
SARAH: It is.
KAYLA: So stay tuned until after the poll today and we'll tell you what the perks are and tell you about our current patrons and we'll get into all that.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: All right.
SARAH: All right. Labeling your sexuality. Tell me more, tell me more.
KAYLA: This is something that for the past, like year I've struggled with, because that's when I learned what demisexuality was, because you were telling you about it. And I was like, oh, me?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But we were talking to our friend the other day and we were explaining the difference between romantic and sexual orientation.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Because that's just a very confusing thing.
SARAH: Not a lot of people understand it.
KAYLA: So we were talking to them about it and they were like, oh, so this means that I'm this and I'm this. And I was like, well, you can be whatever you want to be, you don't have to label yourself as either, it's whatever. Just because you have this preference, doesn't mean that you are automatically this sexuality and this romantically-inclined person.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But then I was thinking about it and I was like, okay. So I know I'm heterosexual. I know I'm heteroromantic, but I also am demi.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: I can't have all three.
SARAH: Yes, you can.
KAYLA: But that doesn't –
SARAH: You can be hetero-demiromantic or, I mean, sexual, sorry. What are words? You can be heteroromantic, heterodemisexual.
KAYLA: Can I?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Anyway, so then I was like, "What t’fuck?
SARAH: What tee fuck?
KAYLA: Because it's just confusing. And also I say I have a lot of demi tendencies and a lot of things that, the more I think about it, the more I'm like, yeah, I'm probably demi, but it doesn't often impact my life enough where I want to identify, I guess. Because I identify as heterosexual because that kind of shapes a lot of my life. It shapes a lot of my choices and a lot of what's going on, but being demi only really affects my relationship. And so I don't – Ugh, help.
SARAH: So basically, what I'm hearing is that you feel like you identify with demi, but you feel uncomfortable taking on the label.
KAYLA: Yeah, because I still feel I'm not part of that community, and since I'm hetero everything I don't –
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't fit in with that.
SARAH: That's understandable, because that's definitely a problem. I think we're going to probably talk about this a little bit more in another episode, which – I think we say that in every single episode?
KAYLA: We do.
SARAH: We have a lot of ideas. Okay. But basically if you are, for example, heteroromantic and asexual, those people really struggle in the community because a lot of members of even the ace community think they don't belong. And so I can understand being very wary to take on that label.
KAYLA: Yeah because I obviously understand that these communities are very sensitive places, and very important places for the people that are in them. Because a lot of people need those communities to feel better about themselves and to have a resource, and I don't necessarily feel I need a resource or anything like that. Because I'm hetero, I'm normative, and so I am not discriminated against, but also sometimes I feel I don't fit in with either group, because I don't feel I'm fully ace enough to be under the ace umbrella group. But sometimes, people will be talking, and especially at college, the hookup culture is very prominent, and I obviously have no problem with that, if you're comfortable with that and that's what you want to do, that's fantastic.
That's just never something I've wanted to do and it's not something I'm uncomfortable with, but usually people just assume that’s something you do. So my boyfriend, I met on Tinder and so when I tell people that, they automatically are like, oh, you hooked up and then you started dating. And it's not like I feel bad [having] people thinking about that. It doesn't make me feel like a bad person, but for some reason, I want them to know that I don't do that.
SARAH: Yeah because it's a part of who you are.
KAYLA: It's part of who I am, but I also feel weird saying that to people, because I don't want to make it seem like I think what they do is bad, because it's not. I just want them to know like, what – You know?
SARAH: Yeah. You're in this weird liminal space, like in between, and I can relate to that to a certain extent just being aro-ace. But that's an experience I've never fully had because I am not in a relationship and so I've never had to face the assumptions surrounding that. But I can see why that might be a struggle.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, I find maybe on the other end of that, I don't know, I've always found it very important to have labels for myself.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because okay, when people just identify as queer, they have every right to do that and if that's the word that they like most, and they feel that fits them most, absolutely more power to them. I really struggle with that label because I can't put you in a box and my brain is just like, this is a person, you have to put them in this box.
KAYLA: Well, that's just how the brain works.
SARAH: It is.
KAYLA: I'm a psych major and we've been talking about this recently. And your first thing you do is when you see a new person is you label their age, their sex, and their gender. That's just how most of us were grown up to do, and so obviously that's quite problematic.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: But unfortunately, our brain needs to categorize things to not go insane. And so, unfortunately, those are just the categories we learned. And so even though we probably shouldn't have some of those categories, it's just your brain can't help it.
SARAH: Right. And so literally less than an hour ago, Superfruit – Holler, get that promo Superfruit, Not that you need it from us and our 30 listeners, but it's fine.
KAYLA: But you should listen to them, and they're great.
SARAH: So they had a music video come out today, it's called Hurry Up, watch it. It was a speed dating sort of thing and both of the members of Superfruit identify on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: One of them identifies as gay and the other one has never really used any word other than queer. And in the music video, the second one, Scott, he was speed dating with girls, and also at the end had some moments with some guys. And so in my head, I'm always like, Well, are you bi, are you pan? It doesn't matter. He uses the word queer, it doesn't matter, but I still feel I need to put him in that box and our friend, Miranda, who was on last week, listen to that if you haven't already. We talked about awkward flirting, but she was watching it –
KAYLA: It was sufficiently awkward.
SARAH: It was wild, but we were watching it with her and she's not super familiar with them.
KAYLA: Super familiar with Superfruit?
SARAH: (laughs) And at the end she basically asked what sexualities were.
KAYLA: What are they?
SARAH: And we were like, well, Mitch is super gay and then Scott, queer.
KAYLA: Queer.
SARAH: That's the only really accurate word you can use because that's the only word he's ever used.
KAYLA: And so you should use the word that people want you to.
SARAH: Exactly, but I just still have so much trouble with that, and that's my fault, it's not theirs. But I just have so much trouble when people call themselves just queer because my brain wants to put them in a box. So I really like labels, but other people don't and other people really prefer just using queer, because it leaves them open to whatever happens, happens.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But for me, when I was figuring out what my labels were, I've always identified with asexual, but in terms of my romantic orientation, it took me longer –
KAYLA: It did take you a lot longer.
SARAH: To figure out. So, for much of last year I identified as grayromantic, because I just wasn't sure, but I didn't like that label, because I didn't feel it was specific enough.
(10:00)
KAYLA: That also just speaks to who you are as a person, just you as a personality, there's certain things you’re very particular about.
SARAH: Yes, that’s true.
KAYLA: And so that's just how you are.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, yes that is an actual label, it's not like I'm just like, yeah, I don't know.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I just felt uncomfortable with it, because it was so non-specific.
KAYLA: It is a label, but it's a fuzzy one.
SARAH: It is. I mean, it's grayromantic. So then I basically I just gave in and I was like, you know what, fine, I'm going to try on aro for size. And I've been using it ever since. It feels more comfortable to me than grayromantic ever did.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I used I believe in my tumbler bio, it said grayro/quoiro?
KAYLA: What's quoiro?
SARAH: It's also called wtfromantic.
BOTH: (laugh)
SARAH: So quoiroromantic/wtfromantic, it's basically when you can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction.
KAYLA: That makes a lot of sense.
SARAH: I really do feel like I kind of identified a little bit more with that than grayro, but I kind of used both because I wasn't totally sure.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But that was something I struggled with for a while and then it was like, I can't put myself in a box. I just want to put myself in a box.
KAYLA: Even though you are aro, it doesn't mean that there's not the slight possibility that you could have romantic attraction in the future.
SARAH: I mean, that's true of anyone though.
KAYLA: Right. And that's what I'm saying, just because you're not identifying as a fuzzy label, doesn't mean that it's not fuzzy.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: I would say that most people's sexuality, you just never know. I currently identify as hetero, but something could happen, I don't know.
SARAH: Yeah. And I think one of the things that I struggled with when deciding on what my labels were, was that I was afraid that if I took on the specific label aromantic, and if something in the future happened that made me feel I was not aromantic, I didn't want to feel I was like a fraud. I didn't want to feel I was lying about my sexuality, I didn't want to be like, oh kidding. I'm hetero-romantic. I didn't want to claim an identity that I wasn't.
KAYLA: Yeah. And I think that's a problem for a lot of people, because I feel a lot of people when they're exploring their sexuality, it happens that some people say they're bi at first and then there'll be like, no, I'm actually just gay, and so a lot of people have a problem with that and they're like, well, that's why bi doesn't exist.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: So it just sucks because there is that –
SARAH: Fluidity.
KAYLA: Yeah, there is that fluidity, but people just don't understand that.
SARAH: Yeah, and I think I know in my head that sexuality is fluid, that it could change, but at the same time, there's a bigger part of me that's just so afraid of using the wrong label for myself, even though I'm so insistent on having one.
KAYLA: Especially because it is a touchy thing and people do get annoyed when people switch their labels. I've witnessed it myself, people just being so annoyed when someone will change their label, because they're like, "Well, what are you when like, are you lying? Are you just trying to get attention?"
SARAH: Right, and I think that might also just be a testament to what you were saying earlier, the psychology of it. I have to put you in a different box now, and people struggle with that.
KAYLA: Right, it is an actual psychological issue when you have to switch a box. Your brain does not like that.
SARAH: Yeah. Well that's why, especially if you know someone who's trans or genderfluid or genderqueer and their name, their pronouns, whatever, change in the time that you know them, you're likely going to misgender them all the time.
KAYLA: It's just habit.
SARAH: Not because you have any hard feelings or anything, but just because they were in a one box, and now they're in another box.
KAYLA: That's the hard thing too. I feel I am also someone that likes things labeled, I like things organized. That's I think a big reason that I struggle with this is because I want to be in a box, but I can't, because I put myself in demi and I feel I'm like an invader into this community that I don't belong in, and don't even fully understand, and I'm still learning about. But if I am in hetero, then often people will make assumptions about, especially my sexual life, that make me uncomfortable. Not because I think they're wrong, again, just because that's not me. It's like any other assumption that someone would make about you, you just don't like people making assumptions about you. And for me, a lot of those assumptions, aren't true. And so it just makes me uncomfortable.
SARAH: Yeah, and I think that's also one of the things about when I came out, it wasn't because I – Have we talked about this before? Maybe.
KAYLA: Coming out?
SARAH: No. About if you are a sexuality that isn't ace, say you're gay, you are kind of forced to come out in a way, because if you date someone of the same gender –
KAYLA: Then it's out.
SARAH: It's out, or if you don't come out, people are going to make assumptions.
KAYLA: Right, but ace, truly, people say it’s the invisible sexuality and for a lot of reasons that is true. No matter what, it's invisible.
SARAH: Yeah, and obviously no person is ever under any obligation to come out, but that's especially true of ace people because you can float your whole life without anyone ever knowing.
KAYLA: Yeah, and people will just be like, well, they never got married. When you see someone that's not married, you don't automatically assume ace, but when you see someone with a same sex partner, then you're like, well, gay, or bi.
SARAH: Yeah, but most people assume gay. It's gay until proven bi, or gay until proven pan.
KAYLA: I mean, that's just a whole other issue.
SARAH: That's a whole other thing, but yeah, and I think that's maybe part of the reason that I felt compelled to come out was because first of all, I had become comfortable with my pronouns, or not my pronouns, what? I've always been comfortable with my pronouns. Comfortable with my aro-ace identity.
KAYLA: Enough of your close friends had known.
SARAH: Yeah, I felt comfortable with those labels and I felt like, okay, I'm in the right box, time to throw that box at people. But I also just, I wanted people to understand me better and I didn't want to get a whole load of questions about like, oh, you don't have a boyfriend? You're going to get that from strangers, but I didn't want to be getting that from my family anymore.
KAYLA: There were even people that you knew that were assuming you were gay, because you had a friend you talked to a lot. And that’s just like no, that's just more people making assumptions.
SARAH: There's nothing wrong with those identities, it’s just that's not my identity, and so I don't want to be misidentified.
KAYLA: Right, no one does.
SARAH: Yeah. So struggles, struggles. If you decided at some point to take on the demi label and be like, yes, this is me, would that be something that would be general knowledge about you, do you think? Or would it just be like, these people that are closest to me who I want to know will know, anyone else I don't care?
KAYLA: I feel like it would come out –
SARAH: (laughs)
KAYLA: On a case-by-case basis. Because a lot of people, I have told that I may be demi, I have told that to a fair amount of people. I've had conversations with my boyfriend about it kind of explaining what it is, and stuff like that. So I think it would be another thing where you would know, my close friends would know, and then if someone made an assumption about me and was like, oh, you met your boyfriend on Tinder, how was the hookup? I'd be like, no, I'm demi. But I wouldn't go around being like, hey, everyone, I'm demi, what's up? It would come out when it needed to, I guess, because it's another thing that you can just float on by. I mean, I guess if I weren't – (sighs) Here’s – Listen. We're going to just throw this out there.
SARAH: Unpack it, let’s go.
KAYLA: Here’s a personal thing about me. I've only had one sexual partner so if I were to have another one at some point, to me, that would kind of be what proved if I was demi or not. Because with my current relationship, the situation was quite demi for me, I wanted to, whatever. If I were to have another sexual or romantic relationship, what if I did hook up with them automatically, and felt comfortable with it?
SARAH: So you almost feel you would have to prove it, to know for sure?
KAYLA: Yeah because I've had very few experiences. I have had other romantic relationships and when I look back on them, I think, oh, this happened and this happened and that kind of fits with me being demi. That kind of makes sense in other situations I’ve been in, but yeah, I almost feel like I would need to prove it, because I've only had one experience.
SARAH: I will say that that is a very ace umbrella feeling. Because a lot of times, ace people are legitimately asked to prove [it]. I think the same goes for people who are bi or pan like well, how do you know you’re bi if you've never dated X gender?" So yeah, but that's definitely –
KAYLA: Because there's only ever been one person that I’ve felt compelled to have sex with. However, is that because I'm demi, and that is someone that I was very attracted to emotionally, or is that because the other people that I once was involved with, I never wanted to have sex with anyway. I don't know.
(20:00)
SARAH: There's a lot there that can be confusing.
KAYLA: Yeah. I would almost feel I would need to, for sure know, the only way I feel I would for sure know, is if I were to sometime in the future have a different sexual partner, and see what happened there.
SARAH: Because I can understand that thinking, because I feel like a lot of people, again, this is an assumption, but from what I understand, a lot of people, their first sexual encounter with someone, they're often very nervous for and not ready to jump in right away, and so I can see why there might be confusion there of like, okay, is this just me being anxious about –
KAYLA: My first time having sex or –
SARAH: Or is it me being demi, or is it both?
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know. Because also the thing is, I find myself to be kind of an awkward person and so I don't even know if it would be me being demi or me being like, no, I want to be comfortable enough with this person, that I know that I won't embarrass myself when we have sex. I don't know.
SARAH: Another question for you.
KAYLA: I'm sweating.
SARAH: It's hot. Do you think you would ever be comfortable going to a Pride event as a non-ally?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Okay. I can't say I'm shocked by that answer.
KAYLA: I don't even know that I'd be comfortable going to a Pride event as an ally.
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: That just doesn't feel a space that – I feel I would be invading on someone's space. I know Pride events are very important and there is controversy about allies going in the first place and I don't want to be that person.
SARAH: Right. I mean, even I feel a little uncomfortable about going to Pride.
KAYLA: But that's because there's like controversy within the LGBTQA+ community about whether you are a part of it.
SARAH: Yeah. There's a part of me that really wants to. When I was in Germany, there was a Pride in the nearest big city, literally it's the day of my flight. And my friend was saying that they were actually doing something specifically for the ace community and I was like, that would be so cool because I would have gone with them and I would have been with someone else who also identified with the spectrum and that sort of thing. And it would have been super cool, but the thought of just going to a Pride is very terrifying to me.
KAYLA: Yeah. I can see going as a group of ace people or with a community there, if they were like doing something specific for ace people, that I would see you going to. Would you go alone?
SARAH: I would never go alone.
KAYLA: But who would you go with? Who do you have?
SARAH: I know plenty of queer people.
KAYLA: I guess, but they're not in your same identity, so it's kind of different.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, I feel like I actually might be more comfortable going with someone who was, I hate to say it this way, but of a more accepted LGBTQIA+ identity because then I would have them to –
KAYLA: Protec
SARAH: Protec me (laughs) basically, which is a horrible thinking and it sucks.
KAYLA: Well, it sucks that you have to think that, but that's just how the community is at that point, is that there's some identities that aren't as accepted as others.
SARAH: Yeah. What do you think – I would assume some people who go to Pride are people who are questioning.
KAYLA: Probably.
SARAH: I'm kind of wondering what the response to that [would be]. I mean, it would definitely depend Pride to Pride, person to person.
KAYLA: I think it would depend person to person. My personal thought or I guess, hope is that people would be super excited and be like, oh I'm glad you're here, trying to figure it out, this is a welcoming community. But for someone that's questioning for the ace umbrella, that doesn't seem as exciting. People are excited for people to come out. Obviously, no one pushes someone else to come out, but whenever someone comes out and it goes well, I feel the community is excited. I think the community is also excited when people are exploring their sexuality and getting into it, I think that excites the community. But when it's not as an accepted –
SARAH: I also just think in terms of the community being maybe "less excited" about ace umbrella identities coming out is partially because, when you come out as another identity, it's like you're exploring this new world, maybe dating a different gender than before, or being of a different gender than what people previously thought. It's this new and exciting thing for other people to know about you whereas with ace, there's nothing new. It's not like you're dating a girl now, you're just not dating anyone and people might find that boring.
KAYLA: Yeah because even if you had dated people in the past and now you're like, no, I'm ace and I don't want to date people, that's not that new because at some point in your life – It's not you were birthed and automatically started dating someone. The normal state is not dating and so for ace people that don't date, it's kind of just like normal.
SARAH: When people get into relationships, that's an exciting thing for the people in the relationship, for their friends, because you're like, I’m going to get that tea.
KAYLA: I was always very excited for a relationship. It was just like a human reaction in general.
SARAH: That's something that I won't ever experience, and so I think people are just less excited cause it's like, oh, I guess I just mean don't never be excited about your relationships.
KAYLA: (excited) Guys, I made a new friend.
SARAH: I made a new friend today.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: But yeah, labels are –
KAYLA: Confusing.
SARAH: They are confusing and it's also interesting, you mentioned earlier about people calling themselves bi and then later deciding they're actually gay. That happens a lot I think with trans people where they come out as gay and then they're like, actually I'm hetero, but trans. I think labels are an interesting thing because there's fluidity in sexuality, but there's also a fluid aspect to labels where you can kind of jump from one to the other until you feel comfortable.
KAYLA: Yeah. Like with you, you went from not really knowing your romantic orientation to one that was more fuzzy, and then you were more comfortable being in a more solid label. And so I think people do jump from something that's maybe more fuzzy or in between on their way to finally choosing a label that they want to for at least now, stick with and feel comfortable with.
SARAH: Yeah. Labels are just weird and confusing.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah, for everything. It's just –
SARAH: The moral of this story.
KAYLA: It's confusing because as humans, we don't want anything to be fluid. But unfortunately –
SARAH: That's how basically everything is.
KAYLA: Literally almost everything is fluid. But that's a) not how most of us are raised and b) the human brain literally doesn't work like that. We need set things in our brain to go off of, so we can be like, here's what this thing normally looks like. And then you can compare it. Our brain literally needs that to function. And so it's just hard for a lot of us to rewire that and to go around that.
SARAH: I'm definitely still retraining my brain.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, same.
SARAH: What we talked about earlier, where it would come up in conversation between me and Kayla before was because I had seen someone where I couldn't figure out what their gender was. And the back of my head was like, Sarah, it doesn't matter.
KAYLA: But you needed to –
SARAH: I needed to know. I remember I was at a gymnastics meet, I was probably in fourth or fifth grade and I remember seeing someone, like a spectator, and I couldn't figure out what gender they were. And it wasn't because they were, again, this is making assumptions, but I don't think they were genderqueer or anything. They were just pretty androgynously dressed, and they were a heavier person, so I couldn't tell if they had boobs or not. And so I just remember my little elementary school brain being so hung up on like, I can't tell what gender this person is. So that's something that I have been experiencing my whole life, and I'm just now trying to retrain my brain.
KAYLA: I think that's something kids, especially. I feel I remember instances when I was younger where me and my classmates would see someone and then it would be a whole thing among the class. People would be like, oh my God, is that a boy or a girl? Or kids will ask people like, are you a boy or a girl? That's something that happens often.
SARAH: But I also think we teach kids to do that.
KAYLA: Well, yeah, we do. I’m not saying it's the kids' fault, I'm just saying it's how it is.
SARAH: It's just something that happens. It’s like the whole, let me label my baby by color, so you know what its genitals look like.
KAYLA: So gross.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: But basically you were just really worried as a child about what that person's genitals were.
SARAH: I know, and that's gross to me now.
KAYLA: Your child brain, well, it's probably always been gross to you.
SARAH: Yeah, but now that I'm thinking about it.
KAYLA: Disgusting.
SARAH: Disgusting that I was concerned about that person's genitals.
KAYLA: Especially as a child, I mean, that's kind of creepy.
SARAH: I mean, I was not thinking of it that way obviously.
KAYLA: But you were.
SARAH: Listen, I don't like genitals in general. I don't want to get in to this (laughs) but yeah.
KAYLA: Nice.
SARAH: Kayla, what's our poll?
KAYLA: I have no idea. I've been thinking about it for the past 10 minutes. I feel this episode was not as funny, because I'm having a bit of an existential crisis, so I don't know.
(30:00)
SARAH: Poll, poll, poll, poll. Um, describe fluidity of labels in an emoji, and we're going to have four completely random emojis.
KAYLA: That aren't relevant.
SARAH: We're just going to pick some emojis and see how it goes.
KAYLA: Should we pick them right now?
SARAH: No, we'll surprised them.
KAYLA: Okay, so we're going to have some emojis, and you'll decide which one most accurately depicts the issue of – What would be –
SARAH: Fluid identities. It's not our best poll.
KAYLA: I'm sorry, you guys, we weren't as funny as this week, I've been thinking about it for 10 minutes, I promise. We're just not very funny this week.
SARAH: Kayla, say something funny.
KAYLA: (pause) A penis.
SARAH: They are pretty funny looking. I can't say I like it. All right.
KAYLA: Yeah, they're weird. They're wiggly.
SARAH: Speaking of polls – That was a really bad segue.
KAYLA: Can we redo that?
SARAH: Nope. Speaking of polls, you know where you can take that poll?
KAYLA: Where?
SARAH: Our Twitter @soundsfakepod. You know where you could email us and yell at us about how unfunny this episode was?
KAYLA: Where?
SARAH: Soundsfakepod@gmail.com.
KAYLA: Oh, incredible.
SARAH: I know, it's wild.
KAYLA: You know where you could listen to this not funny episode?
SARAH: I think everyone who's listening does, but please tell us more.
KAYLA: You could listen on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher Radio or SoundCloud.
SARAH: You could.
KAYLA: You could answer the poll right in those comments, or the reviews. We'd love it if you gave us a little review or a little comment.
SARAH: Answer the poll by just picking an emoji.
KAYLA: Yeah. See, if you comment, you're allowed to pick any emoji you want.
SARAH: You have so many fluid options.
KAYLA: Fluid options. So give us a little five star review. That'd be cute. A little comment. We'd love to hear from you. We know a lot of new people have been finding us recently.
SARAH: And I know that we do have a fair number, at least a couple of demi listeners, so I would love to hear your guys' input on this.
KAYLA: Actually, you don't understand how much that would help me, if I could hear from you new people that aren't our friends, so I don't know as much about you. We'd just love to talk to you guys.
SARAH: Send us an email, message us on Twitter.
KAYLA: Give me help, please.
SARAH: Kayla needs help.
KAYLA: Kayla needs help. You know how else you can help us?
SARAH: What? Not yet. Wait.
KAYLA: Oh, no.
SARAH: If you want to listen to any of our previous episodes, if you're not caught up or if you just want to give it a relisten and enjoy the joys of awkward flirting and cow dowries, you can listen to all of our previous episodes now and you know why they can listen to all of our previous episodes now?
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: Because we got SoundCloud Pro, because –
KAYLA: Pro Unlimited.
SARAH: Pro Unlimited. Because the other day, episode one went down because we ran out of SoundCloud space, so what did we have to do, Kayla?
KAYLA: We had to just purchase a purchase.
SARAH: Yep. Now here's the segue you were looking for.
KAYLA: You know how else you can help us? We have that cute little Patreon. So on the Patreon, you can pledge however many dollars you want a month or just one time. If you're financially able, we're not pressuring you. It would just help us out, and be pretty cute.
SARAH: And we did not make this Patreon with the intent to make bank. We really made it with the intent to help pay for our SoundCloud thing.
KAYLA: Just to cover costs.
SARAH: But if you want to give us more so that we can make a couple of dollars, maybe improve this somehow.
KAYLA: Like one day, get some good mics.
SARAH: Get some real stuff. Yeah, that'd be dope.
KAYLA: That'd be awesome. So for that, you can get little perks, you could get a shoutout -
SARAH: Give us a rundown of the perks, Kayla.
KAYLA: Here's a rundown of the perks: for $1 a month, you get our undying love and a cute little shoutout on the podcast, which we will soon give to our first Patreon.
SARAH: Indeed.
KAYLA: For $2 a month, you get undying love, a shout out, and you get to vote on Patreon about the upcoming episodes so you can help us choose between topics. For $5 a month, you get undying love, a shoutout, a vote, and if you have anything you'd like us to promo: your website, your YouTube, your blog, your Twitter, your dog, your existence –
SARAH: I’d like to shout out my dog. Shout out to my dog, Sadie, she's over in the darkness over there sleeping. She's no longer panting.
KAYLA: So for $5, we'll give you all that and we'll do a little shoutout so we can tell all of our listeners about your thing and hopefully they'll go check you out, because I'm sure you are lovely. And for a whopping $10 a month, you get undying love, a shoutout, a vote, a promo, and we'll let you pick a topic of your choosing within reason and we will do it as soon as possible. Any topic you'd like to hear us try to talk about.
SARAH: I mean, that's relevant to our show. Not like, please talk about this orange pillow I have.
KAYLA: I don't know, I think that'd be fun.
SARAH: That could be fun. We will somehow relate it back to the topic of our show.
KAYLA: That'll be the challenge.
SARAH: That'll be the challenge.
KAYLA: If you donate $10, I want you to make it challenging. I want you to give us something awful that we have to relate back.
SARAH: I'm already stressed.
KAYLA: Well, they're giving us $10.
SARAH: I believe you can also specify any other money amount.
KAYLA: Right, you can do anything. It's like $5 or more you get these things, so you can really give us –
SARAH: You can give us $5.03.
KAYLA: Which would be cool. So really yeah, you can do anything. I'm sure if you go on the Patreon, the thing will explain it to you. That was a long-winded thing.
SARAH: That was long, but now you know.
KAYLA: All to tell you about our first Patreon. So our first patron who is in our $10 group, because she is insane and very lovely. Her name is Emma Fink, and she will soon have a really neat YouTube that we will promote, but for now, because she doesn't have it quite set up yet, we're going to promote her Twitter, Instagram, and just her existence as a human, because she's doing great.
SARAH: She’s pretty neat.
KAYLA: So her Twitter is @EmmaTFink.
SARAH: Indeed.
KAYLA: And that is also her Instagram and she does lots of cute things about writing. She loves her some makeup –
SARAH: She has so many lipsticks, I admire it.
KAYLA: it's insane.
SARAH: I once saw her and she correctly guessed what lipstick I was wearing.
KAYLA: It was wild. She also has, let's see. Oh, the musical that me and Sarah were once in, you can find the link to that in her Twitter if you want to see that go down.
SARAH: Do you want to see me in a wig, and me kissing a girl?
KAYLA: Yeah, Sarah had to have – Can I say it?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It was her first kiss, and it's not common knowledge.
SARAH: I was super stressed out.
KAYLA: And it was her first kiss. Now people are going to know, that didn't realize.
SARAH: Emma, now you know. (laughs)
KAYLA: So she had to be a lesbian and kiss a girl in the show before she had even really identified, you had not identified yet. Wild. So you can see that go down, the link is her Twitter. Would recommend, it's pretty neat. We recommended definitely following her when she gets her YouTube up, I'm sure it's going to be super cool.
SARAH: It’s going to be dope.
KAYLA: Yeah. Thank you to her so much.
SARAH: Thank you Emma. If you want to be as cool as Emma, please give us money. You don't have to, I don't want anyone to feel like they're obligated to, but we would definitely appreciate any little money dollars you can give us.
KAYLA: Indeed.
SARAH: All right, Kayla.
KAYLA: Yes?
SARAH: That's the end.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Thank you guys for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: Indeed, and until then take good care of your cows.