Ep 295: Couple Privilege
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl. I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, that's me Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, couple privilege.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Hello!
SARAH: Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
KAYLA: We're back! Bet you didn't expect to see us here.
SARAH: They're not seeing us.
KAYLA: Exactly, that's why they didn't expect it.
SARAH: Ugh, so real. You're so right for that. How's everyone doing? Are you good?
KAYLA: Thank you to everyone who became a patron, or upped their patronage.
SARAH: Slayful
KAYLA: Since last week, that was very kind of you. We got a couple very nice reviews.
SARAH: Did we? I didn't even look.
KAYLA: Yes, I will have to show you. There's one in particular that I was like, I'm going to cry.
SARAH: Don't do that.
KAYLA: I won't.
SARAH: Do it later.
KAYLA: I will
SARAH: Schedule your crying time, not during the pod.
KAYLA: I'm not going to do that. What else was there? There was another thing. Oh, we were on the cover of a newspaper.
SARAH: Yeah. Because we were interviewed by a lovely human person named Erin for an Ann Arbor based queer publication. The website goes beyond that, but then they also have a hard copy that's in the local Ann Arbor area.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: What is it called?
KAYLA: The media place is called Pride Source Media.
SARAH: That's the big overarching.
KAYLA: That's the website. The newspaper is called Between the Lines. So, Between the Lines used to be owned by someone else, and now it's owned by Pride Source. They merged. The print publication is Between the Lines. One of my friends who lives in the Detroit area of Michigan was walking through the grocery store and saw us on a newsstand. And he was like, “the fuck?” I was like, “the fuck?” Because I knew the article…
SARAH: And I was like, “the fuck?”
KAYLA: I knew the article had come out online a week or so ago, and we had shared it. But I did not know it was going to be on the cover, so he was like, “huh?” And so then I told my parents about it, and the next day they drove to the Ann Arbor area and took all of the copies left on the newsstand they found.
SARAH: My sister and my parents also got some, and my sister was like, “I got one for Kayla's parents.” And I was like, “Too late. They already did it.”
KAYLA: They have nine.
SARAH: And they were like, “Okay, fine. We have an extra.”
KAYLA: Yeah. This is what happens when you have retired parents is they're like, “okay, goodbye”
SARAH: Yeah, mine aren't retired. And my sister was like, your teeth look really blue on the print.
KAYLA: On the paper?
SARAH: They do.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: It's either yellow or blue. Those are your options. Also, my mom was talking to our family friends, like my godfather, who he and his husband are gay.
KAYLA: Yes, famously.
SARAH: And my mom was saying how they were having trouble finding it at first, and she mentioned the name of the publication and my godfather was like, “oh, you just got to go to the gay bars.”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And my mom was like, “I don't know the gay bars.”
KAYLA: I don't either. I know one gay bar in Michigan. I don't know that they have a newsstand.
SARAH: And then he was like, “oh, there's one near you. It's in X city,” except the city he named was actually fairly far. He meant something else. I don't know.
KAYLA: Sure. All right.
SARAH: My mom was like, “I don't frequent gay bars.”
KAYLA: The gay bar
SARAH: “As a heterosexual woman, I don't usually.” I think the last time she was at a gay bar, I was with her.
KAYLA: Yeah. I think you're probably right. Yeah. I don't know where my parents ended up finding one. From the picture they took, it was outside somewhere, so I don’t know exactly where one was
SARAH: My sister found it at the Michigan theater.
KAYLA: Oh. Interesting. My friend found it at a small grocery store in Detroit. So it’s…
SARAH: In Detroit?
KAYLA: He lives… yeah. I don't know that he's downtown, but he lives in Detroit.
SARAH: Yeah, but within the city limits of Detroit?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Well, yeah.
KAYLA: It doesn't just go out to Ann Arbor. I looked at a publication map and it's around.
SARAH: Southeast Michigan. It's not like the Detroit news cannot leave the bounds of the city of Detroit. It's not how news works.
KAYLA: Yeah. Anyway, huge slay. Thank you, Erin, for interviewing us. Erin was lovely. And also thank you to Ben who took… I couldn't remember his name. Thank you to Ben, who took our lovely picture, which is I'm pretty sure the only reason we're on the front cover is because it's a really nice picture.
SARAH: It’s because the pictures are good. They are.
KAYLA: Thank you, Ben
SARAH: Shout out to Ben.
KAYLA: And if you want to see what the cover looks like, it's on our Instagram. Unless you live in Michigan, I don't think you'll be seeing it. But…
SARAH: Shout out to me meeting Ben in middle school. And it leading to this moment.
KAYLA: The butterfly effect, as they say.
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: That's it.
SARAH: What are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we're talking about couple privilege. Boo.
SARAH: Boo. Hiss.
KAYLA: Hiss. I'm sure we've talked about couple privilege in passing in episodes, but I don't think we've ever done a full episode on it. Did I check? No.
SARAH: No. But if we have, it's a new take. It’s a different day
KAYLA: It's a new day.
SARAH: Can we talk about it?
KAYLA: And I'm feeling…
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Fine. We did talk about it in our book, though, a bit.
SARAH: We did. Because I remember I was writing that section. And I was like, I wanted to name examples of couple privilege that were succinct and short.
KAYLA: Yes. Some of you have like couples…
SARAH: And very surface level. Because I had like… Oh, there were tax benefits in there or whatever.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I also wanted to name surface-level things. And the first one I thought of was Spotify Duo. And I could not think of a second one. So, I was like, Kayla.
KAYLA: Couples massages, isn't that what we ended up with?
SARAH: Yeah. Two for one couples massages.
KAYLA: I have Spotify Duo. That's my couples privilege.
SARAH: I was like, “Kayla, I need a superficial couple privilege thing to help me.”
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot more that we're not thinking of.
SARAH: Yeah. The other day Spotify was like, you should get Duo. And I was like, “with who?”
KAYLA: You don't even have a roommate anymore. And it wants you to be in the same location. Like it checks.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I have some thoughts that are more like deeper in so I'm going to save them. And it's the reason I thought of this topic this week. But shall we start by defining?
SARAH: I would love absolutely nothing more.
KAYLA: Okay, go ahead.
SARAH: I have to go?
KAYLA: You said you would love nothing more
SARAH: Yeah, I would love nothing more than for you to define.
KAYLA: Well, you didn't say that, so go on.
SARAH: It was implied.
KAYLA: What if we just sit here and stare at each other for the rest of the episode?
SARAH: Couple privilege is... I wasn't prepared for this. You're just going to get brain rambles.
KAYLA: Yep
SARAH: It's how, when you are in a monogamous, long-term romantic sexual relationship, especially if you're married, but not necessarily, you don't have to be married, you get certain advantages over single people that are financial, they're social, they're whatever. Some of them are intentional, like Spotify Duo, where you can get a cheaper deal on Spotify if you do it with your partner. Others of them are just social, the way that our social order has constructed itself, that makes life easier for you in a way that it would not be if you were a single person.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But yeah, couple privilege is just the idea that if you are in that sort of relationship, there are things that are built for you and designed for you to do as a couple, that if you're a single person, or if you are a not single person, but you are in a non-monogamous relationship, you don't have the same access to and the same ability to achieve things.
KAYLA: That was a great definition.
SARAH: Thank you. It came out of my ass.
KAYLA: Well, I thought it was very good.
SARAH: Shout out to my ass.
KAYLA: I love Sarah's ass.
SARAH: That's definitely a sentence you've never said.
KAYLA: Yeah, probably not, because my ass is better than yours, so why would I have to say it?
SARAH: Objectively?
KAYLA: Objectively. Anyway, I think the way that has helped me most clearly understand couples privilege is the relationship escalator. I think that that is a very clear, concise way of thinking about it. The relationship escalator comes from the book, The Relationship Escalator, by our main bitch, Elizabeth Brake.
SARAH: Is it by Elizabeth Brake?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Elizabeth? That's the Amatonormativity person.
KAYLA: Graham? Amy… No, not Amy.
SARAH: Amy Gahran.
KAYLA: Amy Gahran. Who's Elizabeth Brake?
SARAH: Elizabeth Brake created…
KAYLA: That's Amatonormativity, right?
SARAH: Amatonormativity. She didn't create it. She named it. She defined it.
KAYLA: We have too many main bitches. You know?
SARAH: Oh my god. I was sitting there, I was like, “I don't think Kayla knows this person's name.” And Kayla was the one who read the book.
KAYLA: Yeah. I think we should have Amy on. She's not going to want to come on after this. But we talk about…
SARAH: Amy, don't listen to this part.
KAYLA: Don't listen to this part. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. But, I mean, we talk about her book… I talk about her book so much, because it's a great book.
SARAH: Honestly, we really should at this point. Why are we not? It's a great read.
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: It's a great read. We'll work on that maybe. I have a lot of time on my hands, I have no excuse. Anyway. So anyway, the relationship escalator is the idea that there is kind of this set path of how you progress through a monogamous romantic sexual relationship, going from dating to living together to getting married, to having kids, to growing old together and dying and may death do you part, that whole thing. There's a very linear track, this is how you're supposed to do it.
SARAH: Oh my god, couples privilege, graves.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, two for one graves.
SARAH: Oh my god, I just thought of that.
KAYLA: Man, that would have been really good.
SARAH: Oh, we should have put that in our book.
KAYLA: If we get to do a new edition of the book, that's the first thing we're changing out.
SARAH: We'll trade that out.
KAYLA: Putting that right in there. Wow, that's funny. Anyway, so for people who follow that track, things are a lot easier because it's the track that society assumes you're going to follow. So just the same way that the escalator is faster and easier than the stairs, it's easier.
SARAH: Yeah, you don't have to do as much work to move forward in these relationships because you're on an escalator that is moving you up at the pace that it deems appropriate. Yes, you still have to get on the escalator and if you want to run up the escalator, you can, but it really helps you out. It really sends you up there.
KAYLA: It does. I think part of the reason I wanted to talk about couples privilege is also the thing we talk about so often is how allos too would benefit from the breakdown of some of these systems. And I think one of the bad things that can happen at the relationship escalator is that because there are these social scripts in place, you could find yourself moving along the escalator just without thinking about it. When really, if you stop to think, you'd probably want to get off and not get married to this person or not have kids in general. And I think that can be a big downfall is that those constructive conversations aren't had. Kind of like the other whatever episode it was we were talking about how in traditional hetero marriages, there's like implied gender roles of like who takes out the trash and who does whatever and it alleviates the need, quote unquote, for those conversations, but you should probably still be having them and that's when issues arise. I think it's the same thing of like, yes, it can be easier because it means you don't have to have those conversations because things are assumed. But also, when you're just going along the path, and then all of a sudden, you're like, I have three kids and I want to divorce.
SARAH: Yeah, like I, you know, so many people get on the relationship escalator without realizing it. And then by the time they realize they're on it. They're like, in the middle of it, and there's… the escalators don't have like exits until you get to the end.
KAYLA: You can’t, yeah, you have to get to the end.
SARAH: And so, it's like, oh, they were just like, oh, I have a crush on this person. Let's get on to this escalator with them. And now it's like, I have 14 kids. And I hate my life.
KAYLA: Yeah. So, to me, that's like the relationship escalator is just like kind of step one of couples privileges, from the beginning, things are just easier. Like you don't have people questioning you about the way you're going about your relationship. You're just like things are going as planned. And so, people kind of let you be and also things are just like easier to navigate.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And then once you're actually in that relationship, then things like what you were talking about, like the more financial benefits and the deeper systemic things like, I mean, just like the tax breaks of getting married or like the fact that you live with someone else, like you assuming you live together, you know, you're sharing rent where single people don't have a built-in roommate.
SARAH: Like when my sister got married, they were like, “oh my God,” like “we can go on whoever has the best insurance.”
KAYLA: Yes, that is… Yeah, that's something I'm like, as someone who was just laid off, lol. That is something that has been huge for me is I financially don't have to worry as much as other people in my same position because I have someone else's insurance I can go on and someone I can fall back on financially if things get like bad, you know?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And like that is a huge privilege that I have that a single person absolutely would not have, especially if they're over 26.
SARAH: Whereas I'm in the opposite situation where I now have to take on more because I don't have a roommate.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And you know how much… okay, you know how much my fucking internet costs?
KAYLA: Oh, I don't even want to know.
SARAH: It's so bad here. It's $91 a month.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And for some reason last month, like I had it on auto pay. And I guess the auto pay stopped.
KAYLA: Oh, good.
SARAH: Even though like the account, the card like it was still active, I have no idea. And so, I got a call from Spectrum like, “we're going to turn off your fucking internet.”
KAYLA: Jesus. Relax
SARAH: And I was like, “what the fuck?” And then they also texted me. And then also they sent me mail.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: And I was like, “Jesus Christ, calm down.” Um, but then I was looking at it and it was like, it now costs $91 a month. And I was like, “that's wild.” Because when I first moved into this apartment four years ago, it was $55 a month.
KAYLA: That is wild.
SARAH: That's how Spectrum gets you. Spectrum is horrible, but it's one of the only options.
KAYLA: Yeah, there's only… that's the thing, is you don't have options, just do what's there.
SARAH: And now I have to pay for it all by myself.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Anyway, this got sad.
SARAH: Anyway, couple privilege. If I was in a relationship and I lived with that person, I would only have to pay $45 a month.
KAYLA: And four and a half… and 50 cents.
SARAH: And 50 cents.
KAYLA: And 50 cents. Um, yeah, so it's like… and it's just the way our society is built, you know, like all of these systems were put in place with the understanding of people are supposed to get married because our government wants us to get married and have children to work in their factories.
SARAH: Yeah. Um, capitalism, even… that even extends beyond couple privilege too to like, you get to like, I'm thinking about like family plans for phones.
KAYLA: Yes. Yeah, true.
SARAH: And like…
KAYLA: You don't have to be family to be on a family plan, to be fair.
SARAH: It depends on the… I think it depends on the company. Like…
KAYLA: I guess actually, I might be wrong, because now when I think about it, everyone on my family plan is technically family, at least by marriage.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, never mind.
SARAH: I think it's like either you have to be family or you have to live at the same address
KAYLA: That makes sense.
SARAH: Um, but like even that sort of thing, it's… like there has been discussion about how so many, like millennials and older Gen Z's are still on their parents' phone plan. I'm on my parents' phone plan.
KAYLA: I’m never getting off that shit. I pay back my phone bill…
SARAH: I don't even know how much I cost.
KAYLA: My mom only started making us do it in the last couple years and I was like, you know what, that's fair.
SARAH: That's fair.
KAYLA: That’s fair
SARAH: If my parents asked me to, I would. I just… they haven't. But like when my sister got married, they added my sister-in-law to my family, to like my parents' family plan.
KAYLA: That happened with my brother-in-law. We have… my grandparents are on it now. My brother-in-law is on it. We just keep collecting people.
SARAH: Just keep adding people. It's so much cheaper to do it that way per person.
KAYLA: It is
SARAH: Like the breakdown is so much better.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, just like going beyond like apartments into home ownership, like you can't. I mean, just thinking about how many, I don't know… You might be one of my only friends that lives alone that doesn't have roommates. Like thinking about it, the majority of the friends I have that are our age either live with a partner or have roommates. Which I don't think, like thinking back to when my parents were my age. First of all, already having kids. Second of all, owned a house.
SARAH: My mom had my sister when she was my age.
KAYLA: Yeah, and they owned a house, I'm sure.
SARAH: I mean, technically she had a roommate who was my dad.
KAYLA: Well, yes, but… yes.
SARAH: Continues to be my dad.
KAYLA: Yeah, good. That's good to hear.
SARAH: But yeah… well, also because people would get married younger and so they wouldn't have a period where they might be living alone.
KAYLA: Yeah, because you leave college and then you're immediately married.
SARAH: Yeah, but I… living alone is weird.
KAYLA: Yeah, how are you liking it?
SARAH: It's okay. The problem is I don't talk to people.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so like, I have to be more thoughtful about making myself do things.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So that I don't become a hermit.
KAYLA: I will be honest, when you were like, “I'm going to live alone,” I was like, who is she going to be forced to socialize with? That's the job of Sarah's roommate. I did it, and then her other roommates came after me and did it. Who will take up this mantle?
SARAH: Who will do it?
KAYLA: And obviously this is affecting aspec people, especially now that gay people can get married. It's like…
SARAH: The gays, they’ve done it, they’ve done
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Not that they weren't already living together in domestic partnerships and all of that, but it just adds the added benefit of tax breaks.
SARAH: And they were roommates.
KAYLA: So now it's just like, I think when you think about… when you do your oppression Olympics or whatever and you're like, aspec people are fine, everything is fine. I think people really don't think about what a disadvantage it is to say, “I plan to be single forever.”
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The world is just not really built for people to do that. And I think it's becoming obviously more popular for people to do that. It's more acceptable for people to not be partnered, but systems that were put in place decades ago aren't really supporting that.
SARAH: Yeah. And I can't speak to other cultures necessarily, but something that's often talked about, which we actually also touched on in the book, is how in the West, but in the United States specifically, it is not normal to have multiple generations living in a home. At least if it's a non-immigrant home. There's a stigma around that and there's less of family community built in. And so, when people both don't have that and also don't have a traditional romantic sexual partner, it's like, it's a whole new world out there.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, yeah.
SARAH: And recently, someone that we work with who is a fully grown adult like in, I would say at least her 50s, is single, owns her own whatever. She was sick. And someone was like, “oh, that really sucks. She's all alone and she's sick.” And it's like, yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I still had COVID... My roommate moved out when I had COVID.
KAYLA: She was like, “actually, this is too much for me. I have to get going.”
SARAH: I couldn't help her move out because I had COVID. I actually did help her move some stuff at one point because all of her friends just abandoned her.
KAYLA: I love that, friends.
SARAH: She'd had like six people helping her the day before. And then the next day, suddenly none of them could do anything.
KAYLA: Oh, that’s alright
SARAH: And she was like, “I'm so sorry. I know you are ill, but I can't move this mattress by myself.”
KAYLA: It's fair. It's a big thing.
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: But I mean, I think a lot of… like that reminds me a lot of Rhaina's book, The Other Significant Others, talking about just like, especially in older age, friends caretaking for friends because they maybe are like widowed or have been single. And it's like, you know, as you get older, you need people to take care of you.
SARAH: And I moved away from my entire family
KAYLA: You did. You sure did.
SARAH: Why did I do that for? Um, yeah, and yeah, and just with… Like, yes, we are more connected than ever because we have the internet and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But also, that gives us more access with modern technology to be able to leave home and to move other places.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And so, I think it is more common to leave your hometown and not just like leave it for the town over like to move across the country like I did and like Kayla did. And…
KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like it's more common than ever for people to be not close to any of their family members. Like growing up, my entire extended family lived in Michigan in the same state. I saw them for every holiday. And that's just not going to be the reality for like my future family.
SARAH: Yeah, no, like growing up like my whole extended family and my cousins like all lived in southeast Michigan, the wildest it got was I had some cousins that lived… like technically not southeast Michigan, but still Michigan still could drive it easily in a day. And even now, looking at my cousins, like, I have a cousin that lives in Texas, I have a cousin that lives in Las Vegas, I live in LA, like, and it's just like, we're seeing us spread out.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean the same thing happened with my cousins. Yeah, like half of us are in Michigan and the other half are as far away as possible.
SARAH: Yeah, and… I mean for most… for at least for me and my one cousin it's… we moved to other places for work. Like we didn't move to the places we moved to because we were like, she wasn't like, “I want to live in Houston.”
KAYLA: “I have to get to Texas.”
SARAH: She was like, “I'm sorry, NASA wants me so bad.”
KAYLA: So bad. I have to go work for NASA.
SARAH: “I have to go to Houston.”
KAYLA: I’m so sorry.
SARAH: The other option is what? Cape Canaveral? No.
KAYLA: No, I fear not.
SARAH: And then my other cousin like who lives in Las Vegas. She moved out there for grad school, and then met her now wife.
KAYLA: Classic.
SARAH: So, you know.
KAYLA: What are you going to do?
SARAH: What are you going to do?
KAYLA: Lives, am I right? Listen, though. I also think couples privilege is bad for couples.
SARAH: Speak on it.
KAYLA: Thoughts?
SARAH: Agree.
KAYLA: Okay, so here's what made me think about this. Well, first of all, stuff with like the relationship escalator, right, is when you're kind of forced into this track, then you can find yourself getting too far. You have communication breakdowns. There's a lot of assumptions of gender roles, right? There's like all of that kind of systemic shit. But recently I had a situation that really made me feel like, okay, here's what happened. Okay?
SARAH: Tell me.
KAYLA: I got laid off, right?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Bad. And it felt like in some areas of my life, I was not getting as much support from my support system as I wanted to. Like some of my support systems were working great. I was feeling really good. And other support systems, I was like, I feel like I'm not getting what I need from these people.
SARAH: Donut hole.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Donut hole.
KAYLA: That's not, I'm not going to be a donut hole.
SARAH: Don't…
KAYLA: That's not my job.
SARAH: Kayla asked what she should do for her job, and I said donut hole. And she doesn't think that's helpful.
KAYLA: Okay, you were not the support… You were not the support system I was talking about, but yes.
SARAH: I know that's why… that's why I said donut hole, because I knew that I wasn't very helpful. But I also… you didn't come to me for helpfulness.
KAYLA: No, I don't go… it was so funny. I don't know if I said this last week on the podcast, but I was talking to my former boss about just like what I'm going to do next. And he was like, well, what does your podcast partner say? Like, what advice did she give you? And I was like, none. She doesn't…
SARAH: Donut hole
KAYLA: She doesn't do that. Anyway… So, anyway, there were certain support systems where I was just like, it was feeling a bit off. And I was talking to Dean about it and, you know, I was just like, I, you know, I'm just like not feeling great about this. It's kind of upsetting that I'm not getting what I feel like I need. And we were just like talking about reasons that that was happening. And we talked about a couple things. But one of them was that because Dean and I are a couple, and we are a couple in this group of people.
SARAH: Oh…
KAYLA: Are you still there?
SARAH: Goodbye.
KAYLA: Hello
SARAH: Kayla just disappeared from the call.
KAYLA: Yeah, she's not there.
SARAH: What? Um, it was right when I got a text from my sister, I don't think those two things are related. Did her computer die? What happened here? I'm just going to continue to narrate the situation. I'm going to go back and talk about some of the other couple privilege things that are more ingrained in our society, which is like tax benefits. You have… If you file jointly, you have cheaper taxes. Hi. Hello. I've kept going. I'm talking about joint tax returns. And also, when your spouse dies, you get stuff.
KAYLA: Well, if you're on their life insurance.
SARAH: Well, yeah, but like, you can more easily be on their life insurance because you're a spouse.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: If they're very sick, you're the person that they automatically are like, “hey, if you don't have a specific…”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: What? Power of attorney like it defaults to your spouse.
KAYLA: It does. Yeah, it's… Yeah, if you don't specifically assign someone as your power of attorney or on your life insurance, it does just automatically go to your spouse. Like you have to go in and change that.
SARAH: If you don't have a spouse, it's either your parent or your child, depending.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's like next of…
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, why did you disappear?
KAYLA: I don't know my internet just like froze.
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: It happened right when my sister texted me, and I was like…
KAYLA: You thought you did it
SARAH: “Did I cause this?”
KAYLA: What was I saying when you last heard me?
SARAH: You were talking about how it… how your support systems weren't all being as supportive as you wished they would be, your donut holes were being donut holes and not full-sized donuts.
KAYLA: Yeah. So anyway, so I was talking to Dean about this. And we were like talking about like reasons that we thought that was happening and just how I felt about it. And it kind of made me realize that in this group of people in this is… the support system Dean and I are both in this like these are people we're both friends with. And we met most of these people as a couple and we are very like a strong couple presence to a lot of people.
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: And it made me realize that a lot of times they just assume that Dean and I like have it handled if one of us is going through a hard time, which like overall is like mostly true. Right. Like that's another benefit of being in a couple is you just kind of have like an automatic support system. They're assuming your partner is like good at handling your emotions.
SARAH: Not a piece of shit.
KAYLA: Yeah. What you have going on.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it is a privilege. Right? Is like I… Especially someone like I'm in a house of four people and I have like an automatic person in my in this house who is like my go to, you know, like this is the person in the house that I am closest to. This is always going to be the first person I go to.
SARAH: And it’s Gnocchi
KAYLA: And it's Gnocchi, my fucking idiot cat. So, in some ways, like, yes, it is absolutely a privilege. But in other ways, I am very aware that Dean and I cannot be everything to each other. Like I am aware that I need friends, that I have people that are better at certain advice than others that like Dean is not good at everything. He cannot handle all of my issues perfectly.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And so, it feels kind of like a disadvantage that because of couples privilege, people just assume like they've got it. Like they're good. They've been together this long. Like, you know, we'll support a little bit, but clearly they have it handled. Which I think is sad because, you know, people just assume that your partner is everything to you, that they are your best friend, they're your partner, they're your therapist or whatever. And so, they don't need, you know, feel the need to get as involved.
SARAH: Yeah. It's interesting that you say that because with you specifically, and I think it's different and depending… like for me, depending on like, okay, did I know you before you were with your partner? Like, how well did I know you? Like, how long has it been? Whatever. But like for you, like, I know that you are in a committed relationship with Dean.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like, but to me, like Dean is the same amount, a part of your support system as any of your other close friends. Like I don't consider him another level at all. And it's also just… It's a little weird. It's a slightly weird situation because I have known you for approximately 12 decades.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yes.
SARAH: And I knew Dean before you started dating.
KAYLA: I mean, you knew Dean better than I did.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And now I don't.
KAYLA: No, you don't. What are you going to do?
SARAH: Which is weird.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And like everyone in our friend group, at least in like our house, knew Dean.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But then when you became a couple, it was like… When?
KAYLA: It was our senior year. Yeah
SARAH: It was senior year. So, most of the time you have been a couple. I have not been physically around you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so like, it's… Like to me, I'm not like, “Oh yeah, like they're a duo.” They're like, they're always, it's like Kayla and Dean. I'm just like, “Oh yeah, that's Dean.”
KAYLA: Kayla's also there.
SARAH: What a guy.
KAYLA: No, it's definitely weird because I also don't think Dean and I are very like codependent couple. Like, especially I think the longer you're together with someone, it's like, I don't need to always sit next to him at dinner when we go out. Like I sleep next to him every night. Like we can, you know, it's fine. And so like… and I've like… We've had people before that have just met us and seen us together and people have been like, “Oh yeah, they're a couple.” And they're like, “really?”
SARAH: And that's as it should be.
KAYLA: As it should
SARAH: When couples are obnoxious, I fucking hate that shit.
KAYLA: I know. I know you do.
SARAH: I'm too aro-ace Irish Catholic for that.
KAYLA: The Irish Catholic. Yeah, so it's… it's, yeah, it's interesting to me because, you know, as I get older and we continue to move around and meet new people as a couple. It's just like this kind of like new identity of people seeing us as like these two people go together.
SARAH: He's just Dean. Anywhere else he'd be a fiend.
KAYLA: He'd be a spleen. But anyway, I just think, you know, that's… I think that's not good for couples either and I think, you know, part of it could be that, unfortunately, a lot of people get in a couple and they detach from their friends and so friends feel like, “okay, I'm going to keep my distance too” and so maybe that's like part of it too, it's just kind of like a bad cycle of things. But it's also like… you know?
SARAH: Yeah, and I think a lot of it really is just people assuming that your partner has to be everything to you all the time, and to fulfill every role and the assumption that, like, you… once you're in this committed relationship, you don't necessarily go to different people for different things like that's your person.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And that's just like a dangerous… It's a dangerous way to live your life, man.
KAYLA: And I think, I mean, I think that hurts everyone, that hurts the people in the couple obviously, that's a lot of pressure to put on a relationship, that hurts the friends of those people who might get left behind if people are like really subscribed to those ideas.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's just like, it's not a good way to build a community in the world in general, if we're, you know, telling people like you're going to pair off and then you're only going to be friends with other couples and you know like that's just not a sustainable way to build larger communities.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's not great.
SARAH: Yeah, and like if you look at historically humanity part like a large part of the reason humans have survived so long and evolved into people who talk into fucking microphones over zoom.
KAYLA: Imagine
SARAH: To say our silly…
KAYLA: Our bullshit
SARAH: Little words into your ears, or into your eyes, if you're reading a transcript.
KAYLA: If you’re reading this
SARAH: Like, the reason that we've been able to achieve that is because humans kind of mastered the art of community.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I feel like not to be like the digital age phones are ruining us, but there is some truth to that. Okay. I think it's also related to how relationships have changed that we've… Like we've talked about this recently on the podcast about how like before you got married for financial reasons, for stability reasons, for whatever and you know if you loved your husband then great.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like, you know, he was not everything to you, you would still go to your female friends for whatever.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And because we've evolved into our understanding of relationships being like this is your person, this is your other half, like that has isolated people and couples from community, and it makes it harder to build community, which is the basis upon which everything fucking works. And, you know, without community without effective community. Like what…
KAYLA: Oh, oh
SARAH: That happens which is when you knock your cherry coke
KAYLA: You knock your cherry coke. I think part of it is just like the rise of the nuclear family too and just like how, like how family units are presented like you said it used to be, you get married for finances or whatever but then you and your husband wouldn't, you know, interact a lot you would go off with your ladies, he'd go off with the boys and like those were your communities and then the children were like up in the nursery and children really had no rights, and like no one talked to them there was no entertainment specifically for kids.
SARAH: Fuck the kids
KAYLA: No, but literally like they were seen as like nothing, there's no children's entertainment, there's nothing specifically made for kids like kids as an audience is like relatively pretty new of people being like, “hey. we should like care about these guys.”
SARAH: I was watching a video. There's this like linguist, his name is Geoff, spelled Geoff. He's a British man he makes YouTube videos. He has a very interesting, like, timber, like the way he talks is very distinct. Anyway, he talks about like linguistics and language and words and shit, and I find that interesting. And I was watching one of his videos yesterday where he was talking, it doesn't matter what he's talking about. I'm not going to explain it. But he… to use, as an example, he was using this like children's programming that he was like, this was one of the very first things I… like one of my first memories was this like very early children's programming in the UK… and this man is like an old man. So, like, it was from a long time, it was like little puppets. And it was like children's programming. And then it was also like in like the old timey accent because like that was how they wanted children to speak. And it was weirdly jarring for me to like see programming for children that was that old. And I realized that I hadn't really seen much of that.
KAYLA: Yeah, because there isn't much I don't think.
SARAH: Yeah, like yes there are children's books and there are whatever but like, children should read the Bible they should read the book of Job, like, I don't.
KAYLA: Yeah, no, I think even like children's books I think are in the grand scheme of things.
SARAH: You got what? Charlotte's Web?
KAYLA: Pretty new. Yeah.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: But so, I think because of that, you know, like, then children were given more rights, which is, I'm not saying that's bad, that we're paying attention.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: And were working in the factories.
KAYLA: But then, like, you know, women and men stopped being so segregated, again, a good thing. And people were getting married for love. Great.
SARAH: Funsies.
KAYLA: But then you do… yes, then have those isolated units of like, this is my family unit, this is my nuclear family of like, you know, me and my husband, my two and a half kids and like this is our life, and we interact with other families in this way. And it does… it is very isolating. And again, there's privileges that come with that because that is the way you are “supposed to build your life.”
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But also, it takes away a lot of opportunities.
SARAH: And then you even have like really toxic people who are like, you can't have friends that aren't my friends. And it's like you're not even allowed to have your own support system outside of your partner, if you're in a toxic relationship like that.
KAYLA: Yeah, then, yeah, that's really bad.
SARAH: Don't recommend that.
KAYLA: Don't do that. If you can
SARAH: You can avoid it.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Yeah, I think… Now, I've got a hot take for you. I think couple privilege is bad.
KAYLA: I think you might be right.
SARAH: I think I'm onto something.
KAYLA: I think you've cracked it wide open.
SARAH: I think we should stop.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: Fuck you Spotify Duo. You both have to pay for the whole thing like the rest of us.
KAYLA: No, I don't want to.
SARAH: Oh, you like your couple privilege. That's why you're doing things to make it so that you can have more couple privileges because you like the benefits you have.
KAYLA: I just like Spotify Duo. In conclusion, I mean, listen, you know the quote unquote privilege is bad when it's also bad for the people that are the privileged ones, you know?
SARAH: Yeah. But, you know, they're not willing to get rid of it because they gain enough from the tax benefits and the insurance benefits and all of that stuff. And they view those things as more important than like having a robust support system.
KAYLA: Well, they also just might not think about it, you know, like I do think it takes some level of incredible introspection that I have into my life to realize that like this is maybe the reason that certain things are happening, you know?
SARAH: Whereas everybody's got to do taxes. Tax season is coming up. I have to find a document.
KAYLA: I have not done my taxes.
SARAH: I have to find a document.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: This podcast makes our taxes so complicated.
KAYLA: Oh, is it a Patreon document you need?
SARAH: No, but I probably need that.
KAYLA: I think it's in the inbox, maybe, but it could also be last year's document.
SARAH: It's a book document. And then also, I need to find out if I need to get an NPR. I don't think so.
KAYLA: I don't know what that is.
SARAH: Because I didn't make enough money for them to like tax me on it.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: That's what happens when you have multiple incomes.
KAYLA: Wait, are you looking for our royalty statement?
SARAH: Yeah, I think.
KAYLA: You sent me a picture of it. You texted a picture of it to me. You could also…
SARAH: Is it this?
KAYLA: You could also email the sales team.
SARAH: Is it this?
KAYLA: Yes, you emailed me pictures of those.
SARAH: Great.
KAYLA: Look, she found it.
SARAH: I think there is a specific form I do need.
KAYLA: Okay, well, you know who to email.
SARAH: And I know who to ask, which is my dad.
KAYLA: Oh, that's not who I was thinking of, but okay.
SARAH: No, but for more details about what I need, he's the one that I ask.
KAYLA: I see. No, that's fair. My dad is also my tax guy.
SARAH: He texted me the other day and he was like, “just a reminder, that tax season is upcoming. And if you would like help with your taxes, you need to send me things.” And I was like, “so true, bestie.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, taxes.
KAYLA: Dad privilege.
SARAH: Dad privilege.
KAYLA: That's what we have.
SARAH: So true.
KAYLA: Anyway, it's bad. Stop it.
SARAH: Stop it. What's our poll for this week? How have you been impacted by couple privilege?
KAYLA: Oh, that’s good
SARAH: Either as a positive or a negative, either as a single person or as a coupled person, or as a throuple, quupple, poll-uppled person.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Speaking of polls, I did not spell that right. Speaking of polls, last week we asked people's favorite pasta type.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And lots of great answers. And I don't know why, but then a video, I don't know. Somehow a video came to my eyeballs about a new pasta shape that was developed specifically to be the perfect pasta shape. Have you heard about this?
SARAH: No. What's it called?
KAYLA: Let me find the video. But the guy specifically designed this pasta shape to have the best mouth feel, the best sauce ability.
SARAH: Oh, I don't like that.
KAYLA: Did you find it? What's it called again?
SARAH: Is it the one from Dan Pashman?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Cascatelli?
KAYLA: That sounds right, yeah.
SARAH: I don't like that at all. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have so many problems with this.
KAYLA: But he developed it specifically.
SARAH: Yeah. Okay. Well, he developed it specifically to hold sauce. You know what…
KAYLA: Oh, yeah. You don't like sauce.
SARAH: I don't eat?
KAYLA: That's true. Yeah. I forget what the third one was. It was the mouth feel, the sauce ability. Oh, and I think like fork ability. Like if you can get it on your fork.
SARAH: The texture of that is so inconsistent.
KAYLA: It kind of looks like an octopus.
SARAH: It does. Because it has flappy things.
KAYLA: Also, apparently very hard to find.
SARAH: Flappy things on one side?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I don't like the inconsistency of that texture.
KAYLA: What was it called again?
SARAH: It's called Cascatelli.
KAYLA: Everyone look up Cascatelli and you can…
SARAH: It sounds like someone tried to combine our names and make it Italian.
KAYLA: Oh my God, it does. That's good. That's actually good.
SARAH: Costella? Casca? Cascatelli.
KAYLA: Everyone look up Cascatelli and tell us what you think about that pasta shape.
SARAH: I think it's horrible. It's not symmetrical. It's only symmetrical one way.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: That's bad.
KAYLA: I would be interested to eat it.
SARAH: I wouldn't.
KAYLA: I would want to know… I want to know about this mouth feel they claim it should be good.
SARAH: That's disgusting.
KAYLA: Sorry.
SARAH: I'm disgusted.
KAYLA: I'm so sorry.
SARAH: I bought a lot of pasta yesterday. My problem is that I usually eat the protein class pasta which comes in limited forms.
KAYLA: Oh, wow
SARAH: And my favorite types of pasta, they only make it in rigatoni, penne, spaghetti, and angel hair. At least those are the ones that are accessible to me.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: And none of those are my favorites.
KAYLA: Is bow tie your favorite? I don't remember.
SARAH: Yes, bow tie. And then I was talking last time about… well, now I forgot what it was called because I had Cascatelli stuck in my head.
KAYLA: I’m so sorry. There was another C one like that that was popular among the poll responses.
SARAH: Do I need to go look in my cupboard? Pasta?
KAYLA: Cupboard.
SARAH: Curly. Big. It's not fusilli.
KAYLA: Cavatappi?
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: That's another one that a lot of the people like.
SARAH: Yes. So, Cavatappi is what I am referring to, but I called it something else because it has more than one name.
KAYLA: Oh. Cavatappi.
SARAH: I called it whatever the…
KAYLA: Oh, that's a good one. I like that one.
SARAH: Whatever the like, Barilla brand…
KAYLA: It's like an extra-long macaroni noodle.
SARAH: Yes. It's like a curly Q...
KAYLA: It's like a macaroni, but if it were to keep going and be squiggly.
SARAH: Cavatappi. I know it as Celentani. That's what I know it as.
KAYLA: Oh, voila.
SARAH: But it's also known as Amore Serpentini Spirale Torcelli and Pantiglione.
KAYLA: Spirale is funny. That's funny.
SARAH: But I bought some of that. I already had some bow ties and I had rigatoni because last time I was feeling spicy.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: So, anyway, you can tell… What? What's your beef and your juice?
KAYLA: Oh, rigatoni is good. I like rigatoni.
SARAH: Rigatoni…
KAYLA: That's a good one. Big. My beef and my juice…
SARAH: Oh, I literally just said rigatoni and me being like, what does it look like? I literally… It's in my cupboard.
KAYLA: You just said it. Okay. Anyway, my beef is…
SARAH: Sorry, I think the worst is elbows. It's so hard to fork.
KAYLA: Interesting. Yeah, they are hard to fork. That's true.
SARAH: They're too small.
KAYLA: They're too little. That's true.
SARAH: They're too small.
KAYLA: I like the ones that are itty bitty rigatonis though, the tiny little tubes.
SARAH: No, that's also hard to fork.
KAYLA: It is, unless you slip, put them right in the tines.
SARAH: That takes so long.
KAYLA: It's so satisfying. So fun. So fun for the family. Anyway, my beef is networking. I understand that it is a good thing to do, and I am doing it. But every time I try to do it, I feel like an asshole, because I'm like, this person is going to think I'm stinky for just talking to them to network, even though that's how…
SARAH: That's what you got to do.
KAYLA: It works. And if someone did that to me, I wouldn't be mad. But somehow, I'm like, this person hates me.
SARAH: Got to get that in your mind. Not that they hate you. They're that…
[00:50:00]
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: It's okay.
KAYLA: It is okay. Because literally I would… if someone sent me the exact message I'm sending to people, I would be like, “heck yeah, man. Let's talk about it.” Anyway.
SARAH: Yeah. At most it would be like, “I'm sorry, I don't have time.”
KAYLA: Sorry, I'm busy. Anyway, with the Midwest in me, I just can't do it.
SARAH: Yeah, it's too much. I'm a really bad advocate for myself.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Really bad.
KAYLA: My juice is, I saw Dune II.
SARAH: How was it? It probably wasn't very juicy.
KAYLA: Pretty dry.
SARAH: Sandy.
KAYLA: Pretty dry. There were some wet parts.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: There was some water.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: It was good. It was definitely weird, which I knew going in that there was going to be some weird fucking shit. But it was very good, very entertaining, great music, great visuals. The memes coming out of it have been exceptional. And Christopher Walken is in it. He plays the emperor. And it's very funny because he sounds like Christopher Walken. So, there has been a lot of Christopher Walken impressions in my household since we saw it last night. And it's funny because they're saying words in the language of the people in the movie, which is like Freman. So, it's this native language. And so, there's this, he's named the Muad'Dib. And he's like, the Muad'Dib? We must find him.
SARAH: I'm Christopher Walken.
KAYLA: It's like, why is Christopher Walken saying this native song?
SARAH: I'm the dad in Hairspray.
KAYLA: Never did I think I'd hear Christopher Walken saying native sci-fi words.
SARAH: Meanwhile, they got characters named Paul.
KAYLA: Sarah, I can't. I'll talk about it too much the way his name is Paul. I'll talk about it…
SARAH: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
KAYLA: I can't. Because also what I thought about today, because the Final Jeopardy question today was about the Bible.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Bibley.
KAYLA: They weren't actually named Luke and John and James and Paul, right? Because there weren't just dudes in the Middle East back then named that, right? There's no way that he was like, oh, yeah, this is my friend, Jesus, and I'm Paul.
SARAH: They probably, when it was translated, they probably anglicized them.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: But I'm sure the base of the name is probably the same or similar.
KAYLA: There's just no way that Luke was walking around the Middle East.
SARAH: In the Bible, was his name really Luke?
KAYLA: There's just no way.
SARAH: The original names… oh, yes, the original names in Hebrew slash Aramic. Is that supposed to say Arabic, or is it actually Aramic slash Greek? James was Yaakov, John was Yohanan, Matthew was Matityahu, Simon was Shimon, Paul was Saul. Thomas was either Taum or Didymus, Andrew was Andreas, Bartholomew was Bartolme, which is a lot better than Bartholomew.
KAYLA: Yeah, that slash way harder.
SARAH: Peter was Petrus in Greek, Kephas in Aramaic, and original name was Shimon. His name was Simon, and then they made him Peter for some reason.
KAYLA: He already had a Simon.
SARAH: Judas was Yehuda, Luke was Lucas or Luca.
KAYLA: Oh, well, there you go.
SARAH: It's Greek. It's a Greek name. Mark was Marcus, Philip was Philippos, Nathan…
KAYLA: See, so you can't even make the argument that Paul is this ancient name, because it's not.
SARAH: Well, it's like Jesus wasn't Jesus, it was Yeshua or Yahushua.
KAYLA: When did the name Paul start? Fuck.
SARAH: When did it start?
KAYLA: Well, it has existed since Roman times, because it derives from Roman family names, Paulus or Paulus, but with two L's this time. And it's from the Latin small, humble, least, or little.
SARAH: I mean, some of us just have old names, you know, biblical names.
KAYLA: I understand why Mr. Dune made his name Paul, because it's like a thing in the movie, the Frebin name he chooses is also about being small and humble and blah, blah, blah, whatever. But you're really going to name him Paul?
SARAH: This really takes you out of the sci-fi of Paul.
KAYLA: And then his mom is Jessica.
SARAH: That's bad.
KAYLA: Lady Jessica, the cryptic nun.
SARAH: At least Paul is a more timeless name, because it's biblical.
KAYLA: Yeah. Jessica?
SARAH: Jessica is very time specific.
KAYLA: You cannot tell me that she is in this like ancient cult of nuns.
SARAH: Mm hmm.
KAYLA: And she's like the concubine of this Duke.
SARAH: Mm hmm.
KAYLA: And then her name is Jessica. And then spoiler, she becomes this like big religious figure.
SARAH: It's like her name is named Dustin.
KAYLA: Jessica.
SARAH: Dustin.
KAYLA: At least they're not named Duncan Idaho.
SARAH: McKaylee.
KAYLA: I did… I was watching something the other day that they were talking about how all of us are going to be old people and your grandma's going to be named like Ralyn.
SARAH: Yeah, Ralyn, you mean?
KAYLA: Who knows what I mean? It could be anything.
SARAH: Nayveigh spelled N-A-Y-V-E-H.
KAYLA: Yeah, exactly.
SARAH: No, N-A-Y-V-E-I-G-H.
KAYLA: Yes, exactly. That's going to be someone's grandma.
SARAH: I was also watching a video yesterday from Answer in Progress about why English spelling is so fucked up. Because in other languages, you can't just spell shit like that. You can't just change the spelling wildly and have it still be the same name.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, we're ending this podcast.
KAYLA: I wish we would, I’m sleepy
SARAH: My beef is, I forgot what my beef was. I had one earlier and then I decided I didn't want to say it. And then I thought of one in the car and then I forgot it. My juice is my sister and my sister-in-law are coming this weekend, not to see me, to see Angel City FC. I just happened to be here.
KAYLA: Oh, that's nice.
SARAH: My other… I had another juice and then I forgot it. Got to go, got to go fast. Okay, you can tell us about your beef, your juice, your thoughts on the name Paul. Oh my God, my other juice, I actually pulled up something on my computer about it. Is Rachel Brosnahan's 2023 Emmys dress?
KAYLA: I saw your post. Yes.
SARAH: I would like to be clear that the 2023 Emmys took place in 2024.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I recently, I went down a rabbit hole of, you know, the guy who does the GlamBot at award shows?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I was just watching all of his videos.
KAYLA: How did he get that job, by the way?
SARAH: I don't know. He has got majestic hair.
KAYLA: Certainly, he didn't invent the GlamBot.
SARAH: No. I don't know.
KAYLA: How do you swing that?
SARAH: On a big arm, because it's on a, it's a… Anyway, and I saw Rachel Brosnahan's 2023 Emmys dress, which she wore in January of 2024. And I said…
KAYLA: It is a very you vibe.
SARAH: That dress is dressin'. That was one of the top comments. That dress is dressin'.
KAYLA: I did enjoy looking at all the Oscars. Luke's. That's it. That's all I have to say.
SARAH: Luke Skywalker.
KAYLA: It was really just Paul. We all know that he just stole Star Wars from Dunes. I'm sorry.
SARAH: He stole Star Wars from Dunes.
KAYLA: He stole Star Wars. He did. I'm sorry, but if you look at Dune and you look at Star Wars, it's like, yeah, man.
SARAH: Sand.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It's coarse.
KAYLA: Gets everywhere.
SARAH: It gets everywhere. Yeah. Also, Star Wars is just an interesting case of like, it wasn't adapted from anything. Like it was just…
KAYLA: Well.
SARAH: Well…
KAYLA: It was adapted from Dune.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yes. I know it can be.
SARAH: I get that.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: But everything these days is like IP. It's based on IP. It needs to be based on something and it's like, well, that's a fucking. Anyway, we need to end this podcast.
KAYLA: Okay. Wait, one more thing though.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I was asking my friend after he saw Dune, I was like, do you think when… What's His Face wrote the line in Star Wars that he's like, “oh, I hate sand. It's coarse and it gets everywhere. He wrote that specifically to be a fuck you to Dune.”
SARAH: Maybe. Probably not.
KAYLA: I think he did.
SARAH: And you know what?
KAYLA: We'll never know.
SARAH: You know who created Star Wars?
KAYLA: Me.
SARAH: George Lucas.
KAYLA: Ugh. He really said, he was like, “you know what would be a great name for the hero of this franchise?”
SARAH: “My name.”
KAYLA: “My name.” Ugh. That's such a George thing to do.
SARAH: Like, imagine if I was like, “oh my God, I'm going to make… I'm going to write a story and the hero of my story is going to be named Tello.”
KAYLA: Brother, imagine. I would stop being your friend.
SARAH: What if you wrote one and you just named it Zyc
KAYLA: Zyc
SARAH: But spelled the same so people would be like, “huh?”
KAYLA: Yeah, perfect. No notes.
SARAH: And then actual Polish people would be like…
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: No, but they would be like, “you're doing that wrong.”
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, this podcast…
KAYLA: It has to be over
SARAH: Is ending.
KAYLA: It has to be done.
SARAH: Or you can tell us about your beef and your juice, including the length of this podcast and how it never… it wouldn't end, on our social media @soundfakepod.
[01:00:00]
SARAH: We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Thank you to all of our patrons. You're lovely and delightful. We have a new $2 Patreon, it's River Haddessock Haddicock. If it's pronounced ‘had a cock,’ I am sorry for what you experienced as a child.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's tough.
SARAH: Like if that's your name and if that's how it's, you know, that's tough. But thank you.
KAYLA: Not even middle school.
SARAH: But thank you, River. You're a delight. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Colleen Walsh, Doug Rice, Edward Hayes-Holgate, Elizabeth Wheeler, and Emily Jean. We also have Alexander who has been a patron but bumped up from two to five. I assume it's because Alexander wanted to get those one-day early podcasts.
KAYLA: I mean, who wouldn't want that?
SARAH: He, he, he. So, thank you very much. Our $10 patrons who are promoting this week are the Barefoot Backpacker who would like to promote their YouTube channel, rtwbarefoot, SongOStorm who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance and Val who would like to promote ending this podcast. As I've said before, I don't mean the podcast as a concept.
KAYLA: Just this one.
SARAH: I mean this episode.
KAYLA: This one specifically. Stop, just stop.
SARAH: Our other $10 patrons are Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin, Celina Dobson, David, Harris, Derick & Carissa, Elle Bitter, my aunt Jeannie, Kayla's dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Parker, Purple Hayes. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, Dia Chappell who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly and my mom, and they would like to promote this episode of the podcast ending. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
SARAH: I'm leaving that weird gap in because Kayla wasn't paying attention because Kayla was on her phone.
KAYLA: I was looking at Zendaya pictures.
SARAH: Oh, okay. Forgiven.
KAYLA: Thank you.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]