Ep 234: Aspec Culture Shock

Episode 234: Culture Shock

October 16, 2022

(00:00)


SARAH: Hey what's up hello, welcome to Sounds Fake but Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl, I'm Sarah that's me


KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, that's me Kayla


SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand


KAYLA: On today's episode: aspec culture shock


SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds fake but okay


(intro music plays)


SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!


KAYLA: Yes, hello. It is us. 


SARAH: Hello. Time has passed. 


KAYLA: Time has passed and so have we, onto the next plane. This week we're coming to you from the ghost realm


SARAH: Yeah. Neither of us are here, none of this is real


KAYLA: No


SARAH: Yeah let's just move on


KAYLA: ugh


SARAH: Do we have any housekeeping?


KAYLA: Yes


SARAH: Hm?


KAYLA: First as always, buy our book. You know. Second, for ace week, we are doing a little livestream with fellow authors, Cody the Ace Dad, and Eris Young because we all have books coming out soon about the aspec-ness. Let me see. I don't remember what day it's on. Let me look


SARAH: 29th, I think?


KAYLA: Yes, it is on October 29th at 1 PM Eastern. 10 PM – nope. 10 AM Pacific, and it's going to be on our YouTube, so yeah


SARAH: Hell yeah. We're going to talk about books


KAYLA: It's also going to be spooky because it's going to be almost Halloween. 


SARAH: So true


KAYLA: I also have a surprise for you


SARAH: What?


KAYLA: Guess what


SARAH: I'm too tired to guess what


KAYLA: So true. As of last week, we are at over 1 million downloads


SARAH: I thought you were going to say 1 million pre-orders of our book


KAYLA: That would be better, but alas, no. Not to my knowledge


SARAH: I mean, you recently pre-ordered our book, so


KAYLA: So that's one. Anyway, one million downloads is still very exciting, so. 


SARAH: Yeah. It is. 


KAYLA: Good job listening a million times everyone


SARAH: I do have a piece of housekeeping. Confrontation. 


KAYLA: Oh?


SARAH: It was my birthday, and you didn't post on the pod Instagram


KAYLA: I did think about that


SARAH: Is that no longer a thing we're doing?


KAYLA: No I did think about that yesterday because listen, there was a whole thing about posts. I was posting pod stuff, and then there was a whole thing about timing and then I got very overwhelmed about it and didn't


SARAH: Oh, that's a huge mood. 


KAYLA: But


SARAH: But now we just don't have to do that anymore. 


(laughter)


KAYLA: I mean, I will post you. Do you want me to or not?


SARAH: No it's too late


KAYLA: Okay


SARAH: I am fine with not posting for birthdays, I just wanted to be confrontational for fun


KAYLA: But now I feel bad.


SARAH: Don't feel bad


KAYLA: It's too late


SARAH: You sent me a text that said "aah" and I knew exactly what it meant. 


(laughter)


KAYLA: Yeah I felt like it was fitting


SARAH: (laughing) Yeah, it's chill


KAYLA: I felt like you would appreciate it


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: I was like I could say a heartfelt birthday whatever blah blah blah


SARAH: Fuck that shit. 


KAYLA: Or I could just scream at her


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: And that seems better. 


SARAH: Yeah. You know what my sister sent me?


KAYLA: Ew, what?


SARAH: I got to find it. 


KAYLA: Oh it was Sarah's birthday, by the way. Everyone say happy birthday to Sarah. 


SARAH: Yeah it was my birthday. My sister sent me the entire


KAYLA: Oh


SARAH: Lyrics to "Birthday Girl" by Lizzo


KAYLA: Oh


SARAH: Just all of the lyrics


KAYLA: I thought it was going to be the Bee Movie or something. 


SARAH: No, no. It was... I didn't even know until just now that I looked it up that it was Lizzo. I actually wasn't familiar with this song, so


KAYLA: Well that's nice


SARAH: Yeah. I also received several BTS gifts from people who don't know anything about BTS, which I did appreciate. 


KAYLA: Yeah I mean, listen


SARAH: And then one gift from my sister who she was like "I don't think this is BTS but it's a really good gift" and I was like "you're right that's not BTS, but that is a really good gift"


KAYLA: You know, the thought that counts


SARAH: Yeah. I'll send it to you Kayla. It's a very good gift. 


KAYLA: Mkay. I'm ready. 


SARAH: Do you have it?


KAYLA: Mhm. Wow


(05:00) 


SARAH: Yeah. 


KAYLA: It's very sparkly


SARAH: Would you like to describe it for the class?


KAYLA: Yeah so it's like you know how on websites when websites first because a thing and people would just use a lot of flashy things and everything would be sparkly and terrible font


SARAH: Mhm


KAYLA: And very clashing? It's like that. 


SARAH: And it says "Felix cumple"


KAYLA: Yes. And there's a nice man sitting and smiling


SARAH: It's very 2010. We figured out who this man is. He was a member of a kpop group, a second gen kpop group


KAYLA: Mm


SARAH: In the late 2000s, early 2010s. He's wearing a pink sweater and a bowtie


KAYLA: Yes


SARAH: Also with suspenders


KAYLA: Yeah it is very... it is very of that era


SARAH: Yeah. Alright, let's do a podcast. What are we talking about this week?


KAYLA: This week we didn't know what we were going to talk about, and we were going to talk about something else, but it was like educational, but we couldn't. We did not have the capacity to be educational at this time


SARAH: Girl, it's 8:35. 


KAYLA: (laughing) It's 11:35


SARAH: I left work at 7:15 and I was in the parking lot leaving, and my boss called me


KAYLA: It's been... Sarah especially is having a time


SARAH: (vaguely sing-song) Everything is happening


KAYLA: So instead, I found people on the asexuality Reddit talking about what was the biggest culture shock moment for you, as an asexual? I think we can open this up to aspec in general


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Aro and ace


SARAH: Mhm


KAYLA: Because I feel like a lot of these kind of go for both, or they could. So basically things and I'm sure we've talked about these through many an episode, but things you were shocked to learn were normal for allos


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Or what the allos were doing, you know?


SARAH: Are the allos okay?


KAYLA: Are the allos okay? Probably not


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Probably not


SARAH: Where should we start?


KAYLA: Well I can give you some examples. There's a lot of comments on this one, people had many a thought


SARAH: Okay, hit me with them


KAYLA: Okay the first one... that's not the first one. Okay the first one I saw is Netflix and Chill. and not realizing that it is not just Netflix and chilling, and I've seen a lot of asexual people say this over the years


SARAH: Mhm


KAYLA: Which is very funny to me because I feel like if someone asked you to Netflix and Chill and you said yes thinking it was just chilling and then it wasn't, I imagine that would be a very awkward situation


SARAH: Yeah. You know the Korean equivalent of that is asking someone if they want to get ramen. 


KAYLA: Wait, really?


SARAH: I don't know if it's coming to your house specifically for ramen. Or they also say "do you want to see my cat?"


KAYLA: Wait but what if I just want...


SARAH: Exactly. What if I just want to see your cat? What if I just want some ramen?


KAYLA: See I feel like that's harder because Netflix and Chill like that's different because I really want to see your cat, but I could live without watching Netflix with you. I'm really in distress about this


SARAH: Yeah I really want to see your cat


KAYLA: Greatly


SARAH: And what if they say that and they don't even have a cat?


KAYLA: Also what if you really just wanted to eat ramen? Because does anyone really want to watch Netflix with a stranger or a hookup? Like you could probably live without it


SARAH: Yeah like what are you even watching? 


KAYLA: Like no one's going to do that


SARAH: House Hunters international?


KAYLA: Honestly yes


SARAH: Selling Sunset


KAYLA: Is anyone craving watching Netflix with someone you don't know well? Probably not. But am I craving ramen or to see a cat? Yes


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: That is deeply upsetting to me


SARAH: Well, don't go to Korea. 


KAYLA: Well now I feel like I can't go. (sighs) Anyway


SARAH: I don't know what to tell you


KAYLA: Uh. Someone explained the chill part is apparently "exchanging bodily fluids while Netflix plays in the background"


SARAH: Oh no


KAYLA: And then someone said that seems like the opposite of chilling


SARAH: Yeah. You know what I found really upsetting?


KAYLA: Mhm?


SARAH: Cake by the ocean. 


KAYLA: Yeah. 


SARAH: There's a whole song about it and I thought it was just about eating cake by the ocean, which is a little difficult because what if it gets sandy, but you could also be on a rocky beach, which is a little less... it's a whole process, but I was like you know you're just eating cake by the ocean. 


(10:00) 


SARAH: It doesn't even have to be on a beach it just has to be by the ocean, but no


KAYLA: You know what's funny is I think I knew what Cake by the Ocean was pretty early on because it came out when we were in high school, I think?


SARAH: Mm


KAYLA: No, college?


SARAH: Maybe senior year?


KAYLA: Okay. Well either way people were like "oh haha it's about sex" but it's only recently that I've realized the eating cake is eating ass. 


SARAH: Yeah it was released in 2015


KAYLA: It's not just about sex


SARAH: The way it was explained to me was like eating someone out, which could be eating ass


KAYLA: Could be ass


SARAH: But also doesn't have to be ass


KAYLA: Did you know what Watermelon Sugar was about?


SARAH: No. 


KAYLA: Do you know now?


SARAH: I don't know specifically 


KAYLA: It's also – 


SARAH: I'm so sorry I just happened to glance at my screen. I had googled Cake by the Ocean to see what year it came out and under "list of awards" it says "teen choice award for choice party song"


KAYLA: Uh


SARAH: And then next it says "ACUM award for most played non-Hebrew song"


KAYLA: Huh, what? What does that mean?


SARAH: What are these awards?


KAYLA: I need to know what that award show is. 


SARAH: ACUM awards. The society of authors, composers, and music publishers in Israel


KAYLA: Oh


SARAH: They hold an annual prize... I lost the... gone. I don't know where it is. 


KAYLA: Okay


SARAH: It's been operating on an informal basis since 1934, but it's been incorporated since 1936. The Israel anti-trust authority declared the arrangement with which ACUM had to license its members' work amounted to restrictive agreement in 2004.


KAYLA: Seems very...


SARAH: ACUM Prize. The ACUM prize ceremony started in 1958 as a small competition for works that were submitted anonymously. The competition has developed over the years, today offering a wide range of prizes for literature and classical music and for popular music. As of 2018, ACUM's lifetime achievement award includes a cash prize of $10,000. Wow. 


KAYLA: Okay


SARAH: I want to know more about the awards, though. Like what else has won, you know?


KAYLA: You can't look that up?


SARAH: It's not readily available to me


KAYLA: Well if you didn't know, Watermelon Sugar is about eating a vagina


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: So


SARAH: Are the... is someone in DNCE of an Israeli background?


KAYLA: I don't know


SARAH: It's unclear to me if the person creating it has to be Israeli or not


KAYLA: Um, I don't know


SARAH: Kind of confused, but I hope someone out there can tell me. Also who out there is on Miami Boys TikTok?


KAYLA: I am not, somehow.


SARAH: You're not on Miami Boys TikTok?!


KAYLA: I've seen a couple videos, but like no. 


SARAH: I was in the perfect storm of Miami Boys choir, Taste the Biscuit, and TryGuys drama


KAYLA: Mm. I am on Taste the Biscuit


SARAH: Ugh, taste the goodness of the biscuit. Taste the honey sauce


KAYLA: Anyway. What I am seeing on Reddit also is people talking about it being a shock that people struggle with abstinence. 


SARAH: Mm, yeah


KAYLA: Which I've also seen a lot of aspec people, especially people who grew up religious 


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: talking about everyone seemed to have a whole thing about it


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: And like I was fine


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Which I never really thought about for myself until I feel like relatively recently of like... because I was quite religious in high school, and so was my high school boyfriend so nothing every happened


SARAH: Mhm


KAYLA: But I always wondered like if I had had like a boyfriend that tried to pressure me into something if I would have realized sooner that I was demi


SARAH: Hm, interesting


KAYLA: I was like never presented, like I never even had the thought of "we should probably have sex"


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: And I don't know if that was because of religious upbringing or because of deminess or both


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: I really don't know


SARAH: I just had like no interest. I just didn't care. 


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: And so the whole abstinence thing... and you know of course people were like "no sex until marriage" and I was like "okay, fine"


KAYLA:   Alright


SARAH: Like, okay. I don't care. 


(15:00) 


SARAH: Jeez


KAYLA: I mean it still surprises me every day how often people think about sex


SARAH: Yeah, like y'all just think about that, huh?


KAYLA: I just can't imagine what it is like to meet a new person and then immediately think about whether you want to have sex with them or like date them, you know what I mean?


SARAH: Like I cannot wrap my head around being incapacitated by your attraction to someone


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: I can sort of get it from a romantic sense of you really like them, like you want to spend time with them. I can sort of get that but when people are like "oh yeah I can't stop thinking about having sex" like what, what are you? 


KAYLA: Dickmatized


SARAH: What?


KAYLA: It's like when someone is hypnotized by the dick


SARAH: I got it


KAYLA: So they might stay with someone that's awful because they're dickmatized


SARAH: Yeah I hate that


KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah I don't know I just obviously cannot be sexually attracted to strangers or new people, so it's always wild. And like obviously I can appreciate someone aesthetically but when people meet someone and they're immediately like "oh man blah blah blah" it's like what? I just thought we were going to be friends with them


SARAH: Yeah I just thought we were making a new buddy


KAYLA: I thought we were just making a new friend. Why do we have to have sex with our new friends all the time?


SARAH: Why you got to ruin it? 


KAYLA: Goddamn


SARAH: Mm. Now you've made this whole dynamic weird


KAYLA: I just want to make new friends


SARAH: Yeah also just like the incessant sexualization of celebrities


KAYLA: Mm


SARAH: And I think being in fandom space has led me to the point where I see what other people see in the sexualization of people, but I had to learn how to do that. 


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: I had to learn how to get on the same page as allos


KAYLA: Well yeah but I'm assuming you're kind of thinking about it logically


SARAH: Yeah and I'm just thinking of it like "oh yeah that's what's happening to them right now"


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: And sometimes I'm like "oh, wow. Nice job" but I'm never like "wow I would like to have sex with this person," so that for me was a learned skill


KAYLA: yeah


SARAH: To be able to understand what other people were talking about and even then, other people will say stuff and I'll be like "dude, calm down"


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Like genuinely I need you to take a deep breath. I don't want your fucking weird POV shit, get away from me


KAYLA: Ugh


SARAH: No. I don't like it. 


KAYLA: Oh this was far before I knew I was aspec, but it was a shock to me. When I was in I think 8th grade I overheard these girls in my class talking about how this one girl had given this guy a blowjob and I was like "there's no way we're doing that"


SARAH: How old were you? 


KAYLA: How old are you in 8th grade, like 12?


SARAH: I started 8th grade at 12, and I was young, so I think most people are 13 or 14


KAYLA: Yeah 12 or 13. So I was like "there's no way"


SARAH: Oh my god


KAYLA: I did not think that people... learning how much people – learning after the fact how much people talked about sex and stuff like that 


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Especially middle school. That was shocking


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: For me to learn. I did not realize we were doing all that


SARAH: I was never a part of that


KAYLA: I was talking to a friend recently about some guy in her middle school asked like half of the girls in the school for nudes. 


SARAH: Ugh


KAYLA: Like how are you in middle school and you know? I mean obviously you have the Internet so you like figure stuff out, but like how do you... I thought we were just having fun? 


SARAH: Asking for nudes from girls half of which haven't even finished going through puberty? Like what? Hello? 


KAYLA: I truly don't 


SARAH: Yeah I was never a part of that and it...it's kind of shocking to me how much I avoided it. Because I wasn't necessarily doing it 


(20:05) 


KAYLA: Same


SARAH: Actively on purpose


KAYLA: No I think I've just for most of my life, I've had friends who don't date much or don't... you know what I mean? 


SARAH: Yeah and I think for both of us it wasn't until we were in college that we were exposed to people and we had friends who were more into casual sex or that sort of thing


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: And even then it wasn't people we were super close to


KAYLA: I mean, I feel very lucky that I was able to...


SARAH: Yeah, and people talking about sex in general doesn't bother me that much but people talking about their own sex lives freaks me out a little bit because I'm not used to it


KAYLA: Yeah that's fair. Yeah, you haven't had people do that really


SARAH: Like I don't want to think about what you specifically are doing


KAYLA: Yeah that's fair


SARAH: Let's talk about it in a...


KAYLA: Like a hypothetical


SARAH: In a metaphorical, hypothetical way. 


KAYLA: Yeah. Okay I just saw one in the Reddit comments that has given me culture shock. So the person said "people actually slide into DMs, I thought that was a meme".  And I guess I know that it happens


SARAH: Does it work? 


KAYLA: The fact that people– I don't know. But the fact that people are like... I guess if you know the person in real life it makes sense to me


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: What shocks me is that I know for a fact, because I've seen people talk about it, that people do this to strangers


SARAH: Yeah and then they send a text that just says "heyyyyy" with 5 y's. Like why would I answer that? 


KAYLA: And that's how they're trying to flirt and get something to happen. That... Remember when someone slid into my LinkedIn DMs?


SARAH: Oh my god, that was wild. I don't remember a lot of it


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: (laughing) Because I was fighting to stay awake


KAYLA: Yeah Sarah was just trying to drive a car while falling asleep. Anyway, I guess there's nothing wrong with it, right? But like...


SARAH: It just shocks me that anyone would respond. 


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Like do you really think this person is hot enough from their profile picture that you're going to answer a "heyyyyy" with 5 y's?


KAYLA: Because also like do people always slide into the... I guess if you want to date or hookup you would have to slide into the DMs of someone that's physically in your same area, right?


SARAH: Yeah unless you want to try to slide into a long distance relationship


KAYLA: Yeah I guess. Yeah, I don't know


SARAH: (laughing) Slide into some phone sex and nothing more. 


KAYLA: Ew. Because it's also like I feel like when a stranger DMs you on like Instagram, it usually seems like it's a scam or someone that's like "I'm a sugar mommy"


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: So I feel like if someone slid into my DMs I would just delete the message because I would assume it's spam. 


SARAH: Yeah. That was probably less of an issue 10 years ago


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Hm. Wild


KAYLA: You know what's wild?


SARAH: Hm? 


KAYLA: Do you know the game Overwatch? 


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: So the new one recently came out and I saw on Twitter... I think there's some character named Diva or something? And she's a relatively young looking woman


SARAH: Mhm. 


KAYLA: And apparently searches for her have made it to the top of the PornHub charts


SARAH: Oh my


KAYLA: She is a video game character that is quite young


SARAH: Don't like that


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: I've got something that harkens back to our very first episode of this podcast.


KAYLA: Mm


SARAH: There are people who are interested in dick pics? I understand that not everyone who receives a dick pic wants to receive a dick pic. 


KAYLA: No but some people do


SARAH: But some people do


KAYLA: And there's nothing wrong with that


SARAH: (laughing) There isn't, I just don't understand it


KAYLA: Yeah. I don't quite get... because like there's nothing provocative about a dick


SARAH: Like if I happen upon a dick I'm just like no


KAYLA: I understand a nude. 


SARAH: (laughing) Yeah. I get a nude. I don't get a dick pic


KAYLA: Because like you can see the person. Maybe they're posed all sexy or like


SARAH: It's about the whole package


KAYLA: In a bed or like 


(25:00) 


KAYLA: You know it's setting the scene or whatever


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: But like just the dick is like okay, that could be anyone's. And I feel like it's the person with the dick trying to signal "oh I'm turned on, my dick is hard" but can't you just like say that? 


SARAH: Yeah. At least be like more artistic about it


KAYLA: That's what I'm saying. 


SARAH: What's the appeal of sending a photo of your asshole?


KAYLA: I mean I guess I get the logic, but also like I don't need photo evidence to know you have an asshole, you know? 


SARAH: Yeah like I know you have one. 


KAYLA: You could just say "my asshole is ready"


SARAH: And I generally, honestly I don't have a great idea of what assholes look like because I haven't studied them because I choose not to


KAYLA: That's fair. 


(laughter)


SARAH: But I have a general idea


KAYLA: Sure


SARAH: I have the information I need


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: So there's that. I'm trying to think back to 18 year old me. 


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Learning about the aspec


KAYLA: Scrolling through comments. 


SARAH: I mean I think it's partially a culture shock for people who are... whether they're straight up but in a not straight way aro, straight up but in a not straight way ace, or whether they're elsewhere on the spectrum, I think this applies to kind of everyone, which is like "what do you mean it's clear to you when you have this attraction?"


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Like I am aroace and I still am like what? I don't get it. 


KAYLA: Yeah it is very surprising. Honestly the amount of allo people I've seen recently having difficulty distinguishing between platonic and romantic attraction and stuff like that


SARAH: Mhm


KAYLA: Like it's not just an aspec thing, I don't think. Which makes me wonder, I don't know, what has to happen for people for them to be so sure. You know what I mean? 


SARAH: Yeah. Like I think sexual attraction is probably, it seems more straightforward


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: But I don't understand it at all. Whereas romantic attraction seems less straightforward and I understand it a little bit, but not enough


KAYLA: Yeah romantic attraction seems more similar to platonic attraction


SARAH: Mhm


KAYLA: But yeah sexual attraction does seem kind of like there's something different about it


SARAH: Like you just look at a person and you're like "that metaphorically or literally makes my dick hard"?


KAYLA: Yeah but it makes me wonder... I don't know. People aren't always having sex because they're sexually attracted to people


SARAH: Yeah. 


KAYLA: It makes me wonder how often people are actually... this feels very aspec of me, but it makes me wonder how many people are actually sexually attracted to people. Like are you sure? 


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: You know what I mean?


SARAH: I do


KAYLA: Or is it just like, I want to have sex and this person is hot


SARAH: Yeah. 


KAYLA: But is that different from sexual attraction? It is, but how? 


SARAH: I was also just thinking about what I just said about "oh metaphorically/literally that makes my dick hard" but you can be sexually attracted to someone without being physically aroused


KAYLA: Yes!


SARAH: Like it's not like 


KAYLA: Yes


SARAH: you're physically aroused the entire time you're around someone


KAYLA: (laughing) No they're very different


SARAH: So I'm just like when does one turn into the other? Does that make sense? 


KAYLA: Yes, no it does


SARAH: Do you see what I'm asking? 


KAYLA: I do see what you're asking. I think for physical arousal, I think something usually has to happen. Like either something physical happens or you just think about it so much that you become physically aroused. But I don't think being around someone you're attracted to does not make you instantly have the feeling of physical arousal


SARAH: Because it's literally all in your head


KAYLA: There has to be something to like


SARAH: It's in your head and how do you know what is and isn't sexual attraction? I don't get it


KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know. I really don't


SARAH: I don't get it


KAYLA: And I don't know how to help, to be honest


SARAH: (laughing) I don't know how I could be helped


KAYLA: Like, I experience sexual attraction but I still... I don't


SARAH: Who knows?


KAYLA: I can't. I don't know. 


(30:00) 


SARAH: I know this is like a meme and a joke amongst the aspecs but the whole "I'd rather eat cake" but I would rather eat cake than have sex. 


KAYLA: Well yeah


SARAH: And the thought that someone, when given the option between a cake that they really like and a fuck would every time pick the fuck is... surely not me


KAYLA: This is tangentially related but people that are willing to give up. Like take the TryGuys drama, right? 


SARAH: Oh my god. Yeah


KAYLA: You're telling me that your sexual and/or romantic attraction was so strong that you –


SARAH: That you just blew up your life


KAYLA: – defied all logic and literally ruined your life


SARAH: And the lives of the people around you


KAYLA: And the lives of people around you. I know it's not as simple as, like I know I'm being


SARAH: Yeah, reductive. 


KAYLA: I know. I know what I'm being, but I just can't imagine being tempted. Or like Bill Clinton's thing


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Like you're telling me that an urge. Like it's kind of scary


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: That an urge can be so strong in your body that it makes you defy all logic. 


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Like that's scary, to be honest


SARAH: And people that are like serial cheaters, or just people that cheat ever. Are you really that physically attracted to someone that you're going to do something that could fuck up your life and your relationships? Apparently yeah. Apparently it happens all the time. 


KAYLA: It's like the idea of it being irresistible, that hold that it has. And I don't think that's specific to allos necessarily


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: Like I think that can happen to anyone probably of a lot of different things. Like emotions are very powerful, but it is very... I don't know. Maybe I'm being too overly confident in myself to think that could never happen to me. I feel like I'm like "oh I'm too smart for that" but like... I don't know


SARAH: Do you think if I were an allo I'd be a sex addict? 


KAYLA: No


SARAH: Why not?


KAYLA: Well. 


SARAH: (laughing) Yeah, think about it


KAYLA: Let me pray on this. Huh. 


SARAH: I have no self control at all. 


KAYLA: Huh. Hold on. 


SARAH: (laughing) I fundamentally lack self control


KAYLA: I think that you would... this is really mean. 


SARAH: (laughing) Hit me with it


KAYLA: I think you would use sex as a way to get out of expressing your emotions. 


SARAH: (laughing) Absolutely, are you kidding? 


KAYLA: You would have like angry sex, you would have "I'm sorry" sex, you would have like...


SARAH: (laughing) That's so true


KAYLA: I do think that you could end up being a sex addict out of, on accident. 


SARAH: (laughing) Well who does it on purpose?


KAYLA: Yeah that's actually very true. Yeah. Hm. 


SARAH: Much to think about. 


KAYLA: (laughing) Much to consider. 


SARAH: Listen. Maybe if I gambled once I wouldn't become addicted to gambling, but I'm not willing to find out. 


KAYLA: But also maybe you would. 


SARAH: I'm not willing to find out


KAYLA: Yikes


SARAH: You know what's fucking stupid? Totally unrelated


KAYLA: Mm


SARAH: Did you hear that thing about that woman who made a pretty risky bet in a poker game and it paid off, and then she got accused of cheating and she didn't cheat, she could just tell this guy's tells but she still gave the money back even though she didn't cheat? 


KAYLA: Why'd she give the money back?


SARAH: I don't know


KAYLA: That's stupid


SARAH: Probably because she was a woman


KAYLA: That's silly


SARAH: In a male-dominated field. 


KAYLA: She shouldn't have given it back. That's stinky


SARAH: I know, but it sucks that she felt like she had to


KAYLA: I don't like that


SARAH: When she was just able to read this guy's face


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: And emotions and she made a risky bet and it paid off


KAYLA: Yeah the other guy should've just been – like that's part of poker


SARAH: Yeah, but she used her "woman's intuition"


KAYLA: Well good for her


SARAH: In way that was weaponized against the men and that's harmful


KAYLA: (laughing) That's so true


SARAH: Anyway


KAYLA: That's so true


SARAH: Lot of cheating scandals recently, the chess guy


(35:00) 


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Who maybe had vibrating anal beads up his butt to cheat


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: The fishermen who were sticking weights in their fish


KAYLA: I had not heard about that one


SARAH: Man on What A Day this morning they were summarizing – no maybe it was Pod Save the World, I don't know. Someone was summarizing all the cheating scandals recently and there's been a lot


KAYLA: Dang people are really... Did I ever tell you about the show Sex Box? 


SARAH: It sounds familiar


KAYLA: I feel like there's no way I didn't. I must have, but one time we stumbled across this tv show of couples who were having issues in their sex life, just like incompatibility or whatever in their sex life, so they come on this talk show, and these psychologists or sex experts or whatever talk to them about what they need to do better, and then they go into this room on stage


SARAH: Oh


KAYLA: Where you can't see them in there, but then they go in there and have sex


SARAH: Can you hear them? 


KAYLA: No, but everyone sees, like the box is there and you know what they're doing


SARAH: Mm


KAYLA: And then they come out and then the people are like "was it better"


SARAH: Ugh, ugh wow I don't like that at all. It's like the olden, olden days when a royal would get married and everyone would just be there in the room on the other side of the curtain


KAYLA: To consummate a marriage


SARAH: When they were consummating a marriage


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: And it was partially to make sure that they did


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Also it reminds me of the fantasy suites in Bachelor


KAYLA: True. It's just the fact that... I don't know, we should not be as ashamed of sex as we are as a culture, but also


SARAH: But I don't want to know!


KAYLA: Do we have to know exactly when and where you're doing it?


SARAH: As an ace, I don't want to know. 


KAYLA: It just seems like...


SARAH: I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to be aware of it


KAYLA: It just seems weird


SARAH: I personally, did I say this last week on the pod?


KAYLA: I don't know


SARAH: Or did I tell someone else? I personally have never had the experience of hearing someone in a hotel having sex and I would like to keep it that way, but I'm not confident


KAYLA: I was traveling for work last week and one of my co-workers


SARAH: Oh it was you who I was telling, but it was not on the pod


KAYLA: Oh okay. Yeah. So my friend and some of our other co-workers were in one of their hotel rooms and then the people next door were having extremely loud sex so then everyone had to put their ear to the wall because apparently it sounded very fake so everyone was trying to figure out if it was the TV or real people, so they all had to do a little listen and I was like that's not something I would like to do


SARAH: Not the fake detector. Alright Bogey let's stop trying to eat my salad. Well he's not going to eat it, he just wants to get into it. 


KAYLA: Right in front of my salad? 


SARAH: Right in front of my salad. Alright. Do we have any more things that's like – oh my god. This is the perfect epitome of Sounds Fake but Okay


KAYLA: This really is just the epitome of what the podcast was when we started it


SARAH: Yeah


KAYLA: It's not really this anymore it's just kind of...


SARAH: But it is right now


KAYLA: Garbage. But it is right now. 


SARAH: Everything becomes garbage in the end. There's a composting machine that I want


KAYLA: Is it the one that spins it around or whatever? 


SARAH: I don't think so. I heard an ad for it on my podcast this morning. Bogey? Take a deep breath. Bogey. Is this the expectation? No. And what is the expectation? That you do not do this. And what are you doing? This. Okay well at least he's no longer in my salad


KAYLA: Mm. Billie has not been up here bothering me and I just looked on Twitter and Cassis who is staying with us this month posted a picture of Billie on the bathroom counter


SARAH: Good


KAYLA: Downstairs. So that is where she has been


SARAH: My sister sent a picture today of, they got back from wherever they were, and in Rosie the dog's bed, was an empty can of La Croix


KAYLA: oh


SARAH: A butter knife, and a sharp knife. Like a kitchen knife. A small kitchen knife, but a kitchen knife. 


KAYLA: Well she just had some work to do. 


(40:00)


SARAH: She's a hoarder. She liked to collect stuff and just put it in her bed


KAYLA: Me too


SARAH: Yeah. Anyway, do we have any more things that sound fake? 


KAYLA: No


SARAH: This week is a shorter episode to make up for last week's hell.


KAYLA: (laughing) Yeah


SARAH: Sorry Bagel. Kayla, what is our poll for this week? What are the allos do culture shock that fucking sounds fake?


KAYLA: Yeah. What is your aspec culture shock?


SARAH: Mm. Kayla, what is your beef and your juice this week? 


KAYLA: Mm. My beef is that I was not in a good mood today for just no reason in particular, and I was like "what is happening" and then I realized a couple hours ago that it is time for my period to start


SARAH: Mm


KAYLA: And I just think it's stupid that people with uteruses have to deal with this


SARAH: Yeah, it's pretty rude


KAYLA: Mm, yeah


SARAH: What's your juice? 


KAYLA: My juice is that I recently bought a lego set. It's the one that looks like succulents.


SARAH: Mm. Nice


KAYLA: And it's very good and it was very fun, but now the problem is I want to buy all of the legos but they are expensive


SARAH: Jimin did one of those on his birthday live


KAYLA: Same


SARAH: My beef is that there is a national shortage of Adderall 


KAYLA: Mhm


SARAH: So I'm rawdogging it this week


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Because I have been unable to get it because it is on back order everywhere. I won't elaborate more because I'll get mad again. 


KAYLA: (laughing) Okay


SARAH: My juice is I think music is nice. Just the concept of music. I think listening to it is good


KAYLA: Mhm


SARAH: I think it brings people together and that's nice. It also starts fan wars but we won't talk about that. 


KAYLA: Okay


SARAH: And you know what? Is it really the music that starts fan wars, or is it the people. You know?


KAYLA: Mm, deep. That's so deep.


SARAH: (to the tune of Hudson Mohawke by cbat) Do do do do doo doo doo do


KAYLA: (hums along)


KAYLA: Yeah


SARAH: Yeah okay. You can tell us about your beef your juice, the things about allos that culture shocked you, on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $5 patrons who are promoting something this week are Ashley W, Asritha Vinnakota, Bookmarvel, Brandom Smith, and Brooke Siegel. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Maggie Capalbo who would like to promote puppy Ezra Bean, Martin Chiesl who would like to promote his podcast, Everyone's special and No one is, Mattie who would like to promote Gender euphoria, Potater who would like to promote potatoes, and Purple Hayes who would like to promote their friends' podcast, The Host Club. We also have some other $10 patrons. Rosie Costello who likes to bring knives into her bed, Barefoot Backpacker, The Steve, Zirklteo, Arcnes, Ari K, Changeling and Alex the Ace cat, David Jay, David Nurse, CinnamonToastPunch, my Aunt Jeannie. And we have 2 new patrons, Kayla. Cass is back. 


KAYLA: Cass is back, back, back. Tell a friend, friend, friend.


SARAH: Back back again. Cass is back. Tell a friend, friend, friendCass is back, and Cass would like to promote using the correct pronouns for everyone. So true, bestie. And also Alyson. Alyson, tell us what you want to promote. Thank you for your money. Sorry that this is what you're paying for


KAYLA: Mm, don't say that. 


SARAH: Okay I'll just bloop go back


KAYLA: Alright


SARAH: (whispering) Not really though. I bet Kayla can't hear that


KAYLA: I can hear you whispering


SARAH: (still whispering) But can you hear what I'm saying?


KAYLA: Can you hear what I'm saying?


SARAH: (still whispering) But did you hear what I said first? 


KAYLA: Did you hear something something something?


SARAH: I hate ASMR. Our $15 patrons are  Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Click4Caroline who would like to promote Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappell who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo who would like to support friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Keziah Root who would like to promote the people who come into your life for a small time but when you need them, Nathaniel J White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla's Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggart.art, and Sara Jones who is @eternalloli everywhere. Our $20 patrons are Sabrina Hauck Merry Christmas from your parents, and Dragonfly who would like to promote the livestream we're doing and everything not being bad. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears


KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows


(theme music)


SARAH: You have to say the thing


KAYLA: Sounds fake but okay


(laughter)


SARAH: Maybe try it again?


KAYLA: You didn't like that? 


SARAH: No


KAYLA: Okay. Can we put this in at the end?


SARAH: Yep


KAYLA: Okay


(theme music)


(45:34) 


(silence)


(45:53) 


KAYLA: Sounds fake, but okay


(45:55) 

Sounds Fake But Okay