Ep 234: Aspec Culture Shock
Episode 234: Culture Shock
October 16, 2022
(00:00)
SARAH: Hey what's up hello, welcome to Sounds Fake but Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl, I'm Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode: aspec culture shock
SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds fake but okay
(intro music plays)
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Yes, hello. It is us.
SARAH: Hello. Time has passed.
KAYLA: Time has passed and so have we, onto the next plane. This week we're coming to you from the ghost realm
SARAH: Yeah. Neither of us are here, none of this is real
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Yeah let's just move on
KAYLA: ugh
SARAH: Do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Hm?
KAYLA: First as always, buy our book. You know. Second, for ace week, we are doing a little livestream with fellow authors, Cody the Ace Dad, and Eris Young because we all have books coming out soon about the aspec-ness. Let me see. I don't remember what day it's on. Let me look
SARAH: 29th, I think?
KAYLA: Yes, it is on October 29th at 1 PM Eastern. 10 PM – nope. 10 AM Pacific, and it's going to be on our YouTube, so yeah
SARAH: Hell yeah. We're going to talk about books
KAYLA: It's also going to be spooky because it's going to be almost Halloween.
SARAH: So true
KAYLA: I also have a surprise for you
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Guess what
SARAH: I'm too tired to guess what
KAYLA: So true. As of last week, we are at over 1 million downloads
SARAH: I thought you were going to say 1 million pre-orders of our book
KAYLA: That would be better, but alas, no. Not to my knowledge
SARAH: I mean, you recently pre-ordered our book, so
KAYLA: So that's one. Anyway, one million downloads is still very exciting, so.
SARAH: Yeah. It is.
KAYLA: Good job listening a million times everyone
SARAH: I do have a piece of housekeeping. Confrontation.
KAYLA: Oh?
SARAH: It was my birthday, and you didn't post on the pod Instagram
KAYLA: I did think about that
SARAH: Is that no longer a thing we're doing?
KAYLA: No I did think about that yesterday because listen, there was a whole thing about posts. I was posting pod stuff, and then there was a whole thing about timing and then I got very overwhelmed about it and didn't
SARAH: Oh, that's a huge mood.
KAYLA: But
SARAH: But now we just don't have to do that anymore.
(laughter)
KAYLA: I mean, I will post you. Do you want me to or not?
SARAH: No it's too late
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I am fine with not posting for birthdays, I just wanted to be confrontational for fun
KAYLA: But now I feel bad.
SARAH: Don't feel bad
KAYLA: It's too late
SARAH: You sent me a text that said "aah" and I knew exactly what it meant.
(laughter)
KAYLA: Yeah I felt like it was fitting
SARAH: (laughing) Yeah, it's chill
KAYLA: I felt like you would appreciate it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I was like I could say a heartfelt birthday whatever blah blah blah
SARAH: Fuck that shit.
KAYLA: Or I could just scream at her
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And that seems better.
SARAH: Yeah. You know what my sister sent me?
KAYLA: Ew, what?
SARAH: I got to find it.
KAYLA: Oh it was Sarah's birthday, by the way. Everyone say happy birthday to Sarah.
SARAH: Yeah it was my birthday. My sister sent me the entire
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Lyrics to "Birthday Girl" by Lizzo
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Just all of the lyrics
KAYLA: I thought it was going to be the Bee Movie or something.
SARAH: No, no. It was... I didn't even know until just now that I looked it up that it was Lizzo. I actually wasn't familiar with this song, so
KAYLA: Well that's nice
SARAH: Yeah. I also received several BTS gifts from people who don't know anything about BTS, which I did appreciate.
KAYLA: Yeah I mean, listen
SARAH: And then one gift from my sister who she was like "I don't think this is BTS but it's a really good gift" and I was like "you're right that's not BTS, but that is a really good gift"
KAYLA: You know, the thought that counts
SARAH: Yeah. I'll send it to you Kayla. It's a very good gift.
KAYLA: Mkay. I'm ready.
SARAH: Do you have it?
KAYLA: Mhm. Wow
(05:00)
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's very sparkly
SARAH: Would you like to describe it for the class?
KAYLA: Yeah so it's like you know how on websites when websites first because a thing and people would just use a lot of flashy things and everything would be sparkly and terrible font
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: And very clashing? It's like that.
SARAH: And it says "Felix cumple"
KAYLA: Yes. And there's a nice man sitting and smiling
SARAH: It's very 2010. We figured out who this man is. He was a member of a kpop group, a second gen kpop group
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: In the late 2000s, early 2010s. He's wearing a pink sweater and a bowtie
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Also with suspenders
KAYLA: Yeah it is very... it is very of that era
SARAH: Yeah. Alright, let's do a podcast. What are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we didn't know what we were going to talk about, and we were going to talk about something else, but it was like educational, but we couldn't. We did not have the capacity to be educational at this time
SARAH: Girl, it's 8:35.
KAYLA: (laughing) It's 11:35
SARAH: I left work at 7:15 and I was in the parking lot leaving, and my boss called me
KAYLA: It's been... Sarah especially is having a time
SARAH: (vaguely sing-song) Everything is happening
KAYLA: So instead, I found people on the asexuality Reddit talking about what was the biggest culture shock moment for you, as an asexual? I think we can open this up to aspec in general
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Aro and ace
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: Because I feel like a lot of these kind of go for both, or they could. So basically things and I'm sure we've talked about these through many an episode, but things you were shocked to learn were normal for allos
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Or what the allos were doing, you know?
SARAH: Are the allos okay?
KAYLA: Are the allos okay? Probably not
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Probably not
SARAH: Where should we start?
KAYLA: Well I can give you some examples. There's a lot of comments on this one, people had many a thought
SARAH: Okay, hit me with them
KAYLA: Okay the first one... that's not the first one. Okay the first one I saw is Netflix and Chill. and not realizing that it is not just Netflix and chilling, and I've seen a lot of asexual people say this over the years
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: Which is very funny to me because I feel like if someone asked you to Netflix and Chill and you said yes thinking it was just chilling and then it wasn't, I imagine that would be a very awkward situation
SARAH: Yeah. You know the Korean equivalent of that is asking someone if they want to get ramen.
KAYLA: Wait, really?
SARAH: I don't know if it's coming to your house specifically for ramen. Or they also say "do you want to see my cat?"
KAYLA: Wait but what if I just want...
SARAH: Exactly. What if I just want to see your cat? What if I just want some ramen?
KAYLA: See I feel like that's harder because Netflix and Chill like that's different because I really want to see your cat, but I could live without watching Netflix with you. I'm really in distress about this
SARAH: Yeah I really want to see your cat
KAYLA: Greatly
SARAH: And what if they say that and they don't even have a cat?
KAYLA: Also what if you really just wanted to eat ramen? Because does anyone really want to watch Netflix with a stranger or a hookup? Like you could probably live without it
SARAH: Yeah like what are you even watching?
KAYLA: Like no one's going to do that
SARAH: House Hunters international?
KAYLA: Honestly yes
SARAH: Selling Sunset
KAYLA: Is anyone craving watching Netflix with someone you don't know well? Probably not. But am I craving ramen or to see a cat? Yes
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That is deeply upsetting to me
SARAH: Well, don't go to Korea.
KAYLA: Well now I feel like I can't go. (sighs) Anyway
SARAH: I don't know what to tell you
KAYLA: Uh. Someone explained the chill part is apparently "exchanging bodily fluids while Netflix plays in the background"
SARAH: Oh no
KAYLA: And then someone said that seems like the opposite of chilling
SARAH: Yeah. You know what I found really upsetting?
KAYLA: Mhm?
SARAH: Cake by the ocean.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: There's a whole song about it and I thought it was just about eating cake by the ocean, which is a little difficult because what if it gets sandy, but you could also be on a rocky beach, which is a little less... it's a whole process, but I was like you know you're just eating cake by the ocean.
(10:00)
SARAH: It doesn't even have to be on a beach it just has to be by the ocean, but no
KAYLA: You know what's funny is I think I knew what Cake by the Ocean was pretty early on because it came out when we were in high school, I think?
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: No, college?
SARAH: Maybe senior year?
KAYLA: Okay. Well either way people were like "oh haha it's about sex" but it's only recently that I've realized the eating cake is eating ass.
SARAH: Yeah it was released in 2015
KAYLA: It's not just about sex
SARAH: The way it was explained to me was like eating someone out, which could be eating ass
KAYLA: Could be ass
SARAH: But also doesn't have to be ass
KAYLA: Did you know what Watermelon Sugar was about?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Do you know now?
SARAH: I don't know specifically
KAYLA: It's also –
SARAH: I'm so sorry I just happened to glance at my screen. I had googled Cake by the Ocean to see what year it came out and under "list of awards" it says "teen choice award for choice party song"
KAYLA: Uh
SARAH: And then next it says "ACUM award for most played non-Hebrew song"
KAYLA: Huh, what? What does that mean?
SARAH: What are these awards?
KAYLA: I need to know what that award show is.
SARAH: ACUM awards. The society of authors, composers, and music publishers in Israel
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: They hold an annual prize... I lost the... gone. I don't know where it is.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's been operating on an informal basis since 1934, but it's been incorporated since 1936. The Israel anti-trust authority declared the arrangement with which ACUM had to license its members' work amounted to restrictive agreement in 2004.
KAYLA: Seems very...
SARAH: ACUM Prize. The ACUM prize ceremony started in 1958 as a small competition for works that were submitted anonymously. The competition has developed over the years, today offering a wide range of prizes for literature and classical music and for popular music. As of 2018, ACUM's lifetime achievement award includes a cash prize of $10,000. Wow.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I want to know more about the awards, though. Like what else has won, you know?
KAYLA: You can't look that up?
SARAH: It's not readily available to me
KAYLA: Well if you didn't know, Watermelon Sugar is about eating a vagina
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So
SARAH: Are the... is someone in DNCE of an Israeli background?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: It's unclear to me if the person creating it has to be Israeli or not
KAYLA: Um, I don't know
SARAH: Kind of confused, but I hope someone out there can tell me. Also who out there is on Miami Boys TikTok?
KAYLA: I am not, somehow.
SARAH: You're not on Miami Boys TikTok?!
KAYLA: I've seen a couple videos, but like no.
SARAH: I was in the perfect storm of Miami Boys choir, Taste the Biscuit, and TryGuys drama
KAYLA: Mm. I am on Taste the Biscuit
SARAH: Ugh, taste the goodness of the biscuit. Taste the honey sauce
KAYLA: Anyway. What I am seeing on Reddit also is people talking about it being a shock that people struggle with abstinence.
SARAH: Mm, yeah
KAYLA: Which I've also seen a lot of aspec people, especially people who grew up religious
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: talking about everyone seemed to have a whole thing about it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And like I was fine
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which I never really thought about for myself until I feel like relatively recently of like... because I was quite religious in high school, and so was my high school boyfriend so nothing every happened
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: But I always wondered like if I had had like a boyfriend that tried to pressure me into something if I would have realized sooner that I was demi
SARAH: Hm, interesting
KAYLA: I was like never presented, like I never even had the thought of "we should probably have sex"
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I don't know if that was because of religious upbringing or because of deminess or both
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I really don't know
SARAH: I just had like no interest. I just didn't care.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so the whole abstinence thing... and you know of course people were like "no sex until marriage" and I was like "okay, fine"
KAYLA: Alright
SARAH: Like, okay. I don't care.
(15:00)
SARAH: Jeez
KAYLA: I mean it still surprises me every day how often people think about sex
SARAH: Yeah, like y'all just think about that, huh?
KAYLA: I just can't imagine what it is like to meet a new person and then immediately think about whether you want to have sex with them or like date them, you know what I mean?
SARAH: Like I cannot wrap my head around being incapacitated by your attraction to someone
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I can sort of get it from a romantic sense of you really like them, like you want to spend time with them. I can sort of get that but when people are like "oh yeah I can't stop thinking about having sex" like what, what are you?
KAYLA: Dickmatized
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: It's like when someone is hypnotized by the dick
SARAH: I got it
KAYLA: So they might stay with someone that's awful because they're dickmatized
SARAH: Yeah I hate that
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah I don't know I just obviously cannot be sexually attracted to strangers or new people, so it's always wild. And like obviously I can appreciate someone aesthetically but when people meet someone and they're immediately like "oh man blah blah blah" it's like what? I just thought we were going to be friends with them
SARAH: Yeah I just thought we were making a new buddy
KAYLA: I thought we were just making a new friend. Why do we have to have sex with our new friends all the time?
SARAH: Why you got to ruin it?
KAYLA: Goddamn
SARAH: Mm. Now you've made this whole dynamic weird
KAYLA: I just want to make new friends
SARAH: Yeah also just like the incessant sexualization of celebrities
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And I think being in fandom space has led me to the point where I see what other people see in the sexualization of people, but I had to learn how to do that.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I had to learn how to get on the same page as allos
KAYLA: Well yeah but I'm assuming you're kind of thinking about it logically
SARAH: Yeah and I'm just thinking of it like "oh yeah that's what's happening to them right now"
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And sometimes I'm like "oh, wow. Nice job" but I'm never like "wow I would like to have sex with this person," so that for me was a learned skill
KAYLA: yeah
SARAH: To be able to understand what other people were talking about and even then, other people will say stuff and I'll be like "dude, calm down"
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like genuinely I need you to take a deep breath. I don't want your fucking weird POV shit, get away from me
KAYLA: Ugh
SARAH: No. I don't like it.
KAYLA: Oh this was far before I knew I was aspec, but it was a shock to me. When I was in I think 8th grade I overheard these girls in my class talking about how this one girl had given this guy a blowjob and I was like "there's no way we're doing that"
SARAH: How old were you?
KAYLA: How old are you in 8th grade, like 12?
SARAH: I started 8th grade at 12, and I was young, so I think most people are 13 or 14
KAYLA: Yeah 12 or 13. So I was like "there's no way"
SARAH: Oh my god
KAYLA: I did not think that people... learning how much people – learning after the fact how much people talked about sex and stuff like that
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Especially middle school. That was shocking
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: For me to learn. I did not realize we were doing all that
SARAH: I was never a part of that
KAYLA: I was talking to a friend recently about some guy in her middle school asked like half of the girls in the school for nudes.
SARAH: Ugh
KAYLA: Like how are you in middle school and you know? I mean obviously you have the Internet so you like figure stuff out, but like how do you... I thought we were just having fun?
SARAH: Asking for nudes from girls half of which haven't even finished going through puberty? Like what? Hello?
KAYLA: I truly don't
SARAH: Yeah I was never a part of that and it...it's kind of shocking to me how much I avoided it. Because I wasn't necessarily doing it
(20:05)
KAYLA: Same
SARAH: Actively on purpose
KAYLA: No I think I've just for most of my life, I've had friends who don't date much or don't... you know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah and I think for both of us it wasn't until we were in college that we were exposed to people and we had friends who were more into casual sex or that sort of thing
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And even then it wasn't people we were super close to
KAYLA: I mean, I feel very lucky that I was able to...
SARAH: Yeah, and people talking about sex in general doesn't bother me that much but people talking about their own sex lives freaks me out a little bit because I'm not used to it
KAYLA: Yeah that's fair. Yeah, you haven't had people do that really
SARAH: Like I don't want to think about what you specifically are doing
KAYLA: Yeah that's fair
SARAH: Let's talk about it in a...
KAYLA: Like a hypothetical
SARAH: In a metaphorical, hypothetical way.
KAYLA: Yeah. Okay I just saw one in the Reddit comments that has given me culture shock. So the person said "people actually slide into DMs, I thought that was a meme". And I guess I know that it happens
SARAH: Does it work?
KAYLA: The fact that people– I don't know. But the fact that people are like... I guess if you know the person in real life it makes sense to me
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: What shocks me is that I know for a fact, because I've seen people talk about it, that people do this to strangers
SARAH: Yeah and then they send a text that just says "heyyyyy" with 5 y's. Like why would I answer that?
KAYLA: And that's how they're trying to flirt and get something to happen. That... Remember when someone slid into my LinkedIn DMs?
SARAH: Oh my god, that was wild. I don't remember a lot of it
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: (laughing) Because I was fighting to stay awake
KAYLA: Yeah Sarah was just trying to drive a car while falling asleep. Anyway, I guess there's nothing wrong with it, right? But like...
SARAH: It just shocks me that anyone would respond.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like do you really think this person is hot enough from their profile picture that you're going to answer a "heyyyyy" with 5 y's?
KAYLA: Because also like do people always slide into the... I guess if you want to date or hookup you would have to slide into the DMs of someone that's physically in your same area, right?
SARAH: Yeah unless you want to try to slide into a long distance relationship
KAYLA: Yeah I guess. Yeah, I don't know
SARAH: (laughing) Slide into some phone sex and nothing more.
KAYLA: Ew. Because it's also like I feel like when a stranger DMs you on like Instagram, it usually seems like it's a scam or someone that's like "I'm a sugar mommy"
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So I feel like if someone slid into my DMs I would just delete the message because I would assume it's spam.
SARAH: Yeah. That was probably less of an issue 10 years ago
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Hm. Wild
KAYLA: You know what's wild?
SARAH: Hm?
KAYLA: Do you know the game Overwatch?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So the new one recently came out and I saw on Twitter... I think there's some character named Diva or something? And she's a relatively young looking woman
SARAH: Mhm.
KAYLA: And apparently searches for her have made it to the top of the PornHub charts
SARAH: Oh my
KAYLA: She is a video game character that is quite young
SARAH: Don't like that
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I've got something that harkens back to our very first episode of this podcast.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: There are people who are interested in dick pics? I understand that not everyone who receives a dick pic wants to receive a dick pic.
KAYLA: No but some people do
SARAH: But some people do
KAYLA: And there's nothing wrong with that
SARAH: (laughing) There isn't, I just don't understand it
KAYLA: Yeah. I don't quite get... because like there's nothing provocative about a dick
SARAH: Like if I happen upon a dick I'm just like no
KAYLA: I understand a nude.
SARAH: (laughing) Yeah. I get a nude. I don't get a dick pic
KAYLA: Because like you can see the person. Maybe they're posed all sexy or like
SARAH: It's about the whole package
KAYLA: In a bed or like
(25:00)
KAYLA: You know it's setting the scene or whatever
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But like just the dick is like okay, that could be anyone's. And I feel like it's the person with the dick trying to signal "oh I'm turned on, my dick is hard" but can't you just like say that?
SARAH: Yeah. At least be like more artistic about it
KAYLA: That's what I'm saying.
SARAH: What's the appeal of sending a photo of your asshole?
KAYLA: I mean I guess I get the logic, but also like I don't need photo evidence to know you have an asshole, you know?
SARAH: Yeah like I know you have one.
KAYLA: You could just say "my asshole is ready"
SARAH: And I generally, honestly I don't have a great idea of what assholes look like because I haven't studied them because I choose not to
KAYLA: That's fair.
(laughter)
SARAH: But I have a general idea
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: I have the information I need
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So there's that. I'm trying to think back to 18 year old me.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Learning about the aspec
KAYLA: Scrolling through comments.
SARAH: I mean I think it's partially a culture shock for people who are... whether they're straight up but in a not straight way aro, straight up but in a not straight way ace, or whether they're elsewhere on the spectrum, I think this applies to kind of everyone, which is like "what do you mean it's clear to you when you have this attraction?"
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like I am aroace and I still am like what? I don't get it.
KAYLA: Yeah it is very surprising. Honestly the amount of allo people I've seen recently having difficulty distinguishing between platonic and romantic attraction and stuff like that
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: Like it's not just an aspec thing, I don't think. Which makes me wonder, I don't know, what has to happen for people for them to be so sure. You know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah. Like I think sexual attraction is probably, it seems more straightforward
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I don't understand it at all. Whereas romantic attraction seems less straightforward and I understand it a little bit, but not enough
KAYLA: Yeah romantic attraction seems more similar to platonic attraction
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: But yeah sexual attraction does seem kind of like there's something different about it
SARAH: Like you just look at a person and you're like "that metaphorically or literally makes my dick hard"?
KAYLA: Yeah but it makes me wonder... I don't know. People aren't always having sex because they're sexually attracted to people
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It makes me wonder how often people are actually... this feels very aspec of me, but it makes me wonder how many people are actually sexually attracted to people. Like are you sure?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You know what I mean?
SARAH: I do
KAYLA: Or is it just like, I want to have sex and this person is hot
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But is that different from sexual attraction? It is, but how?
SARAH: I was also just thinking about what I just said about "oh metaphorically/literally that makes my dick hard" but you can be sexually attracted to someone without being physically aroused
KAYLA: Yes!
SARAH: Like it's not like
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: you're physically aroused the entire time you're around someone
KAYLA: (laughing) No they're very different
SARAH: So I'm just like when does one turn into the other? Does that make sense?
KAYLA: Yes, no it does
SARAH: Do you see what I'm asking?
KAYLA: I do see what you're asking. I think for physical arousal, I think something usually has to happen. Like either something physical happens or you just think about it so much that you become physically aroused. But I don't think being around someone you're attracted to does not make you instantly have the feeling of physical arousal
SARAH: Because it's literally all in your head
KAYLA: There has to be something to like
SARAH: It's in your head and how do you know what is and isn't sexual attraction? I don't get it
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know. I really don't
SARAH: I don't get it
KAYLA: And I don't know how to help, to be honest
SARAH: (laughing) I don't know how I could be helped
KAYLA: Like, I experience sexual attraction but I still... I don't
SARAH: Who knows?
KAYLA: I can't. I don't know.
(30:00)
SARAH: I know this is like a meme and a joke amongst the aspecs but the whole "I'd rather eat cake" but I would rather eat cake than have sex.
KAYLA: Well yeah
SARAH: And the thought that someone, when given the option between a cake that they really like and a fuck would every time pick the fuck is... surely not me
KAYLA: This is tangentially related but people that are willing to give up. Like take the TryGuys drama, right?
SARAH: Oh my god. Yeah
KAYLA: You're telling me that your sexual and/or romantic attraction was so strong that you –
SARAH: That you just blew up your life
KAYLA: – defied all logic and literally ruined your life
SARAH: And the lives of the people around you
KAYLA: And the lives of people around you. I know it's not as simple as, like I know I'm being
SARAH: Yeah, reductive.
KAYLA: I know. I know what I'm being, but I just can't imagine being tempted. Or like Bill Clinton's thing
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you're telling me that an urge. Like it's kind of scary
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That an urge can be so strong in your body that it makes you defy all logic.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like that's scary, to be honest
SARAH: And people that are like serial cheaters, or just people that cheat ever. Are you really that physically attracted to someone that you're going to do something that could fuck up your life and your relationships? Apparently yeah. Apparently it happens all the time.
KAYLA: It's like the idea of it being irresistible, that hold that it has. And I don't think that's specific to allos necessarily
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like I think that can happen to anyone probably of a lot of different things. Like emotions are very powerful, but it is very... I don't know. Maybe I'm being too overly confident in myself to think that could never happen to me. I feel like I'm like "oh I'm too smart for that" but like... I don't know
SARAH: Do you think if I were an allo I'd be a sex addict?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Why not?
KAYLA: Well.
SARAH: (laughing) Yeah, think about it
KAYLA: Let me pray on this. Huh.
SARAH: I have no self control at all.
KAYLA: Huh. Hold on.
SARAH: (laughing) I fundamentally lack self control
KAYLA: I think that you would... this is really mean.
SARAH: (laughing) Hit me with it
KAYLA: I think you would use sex as a way to get out of expressing your emotions.
SARAH: (laughing) Absolutely, are you kidding?
KAYLA: You would have like angry sex, you would have "I'm sorry" sex, you would have like...
SARAH: (laughing) That's so true
KAYLA: I do think that you could end up being a sex addict out of, on accident.
SARAH: (laughing) Well who does it on purpose?
KAYLA: Yeah that's actually very true. Yeah. Hm.
SARAH: Much to think about.
KAYLA: (laughing) Much to consider.
SARAH: Listen. Maybe if I gambled once I wouldn't become addicted to gambling, but I'm not willing to find out.
KAYLA: But also maybe you would.
SARAH: I'm not willing to find out
KAYLA: Yikes
SARAH: You know what's fucking stupid? Totally unrelated
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Did you hear that thing about that woman who made a pretty risky bet in a poker game and it paid off, and then she got accused of cheating and she didn't cheat, she could just tell this guy's tells but she still gave the money back even though she didn't cheat?
KAYLA: Why'd she give the money back?
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: That's stupid
SARAH: Probably because she was a woman
KAYLA: That's silly
SARAH: In a male-dominated field.
KAYLA: She shouldn't have given it back. That's stinky
SARAH: I know, but it sucks that she felt like she had to
KAYLA: I don't like that
SARAH: When she was just able to read this guy's face
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And emotions and she made a risky bet and it paid off
KAYLA: Yeah the other guy should've just been – like that's part of poker
SARAH: Yeah, but she used her "woman's intuition"
KAYLA: Well good for her
SARAH: In way that was weaponized against the men and that's harmful
KAYLA: (laughing) That's so true
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: That's so true
SARAH: Lot of cheating scandals recently, the chess guy
(35:00)
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Who maybe had vibrating anal beads up his butt to cheat
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The fishermen who were sticking weights in their fish
KAYLA: I had not heard about that one
SARAH: Man on What A Day this morning they were summarizing – no maybe it was Pod Save the World, I don't know. Someone was summarizing all the cheating scandals recently and there's been a lot
KAYLA: Dang people are really... Did I ever tell you about the show Sex Box?
SARAH: It sounds familiar
KAYLA: I feel like there's no way I didn't. I must have, but one time we stumbled across this tv show of couples who were having issues in their sex life, just like incompatibility or whatever in their sex life, so they come on this talk show, and these psychologists or sex experts or whatever talk to them about what they need to do better, and then they go into this room on stage
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: Where you can't see them in there, but then they go in there and have sex
SARAH: Can you hear them?
KAYLA: No, but everyone sees, like the box is there and you know what they're doing
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: And then they come out and then the people are like "was it better"
SARAH: Ugh, ugh wow I don't like that at all. It's like the olden, olden days when a royal would get married and everyone would just be there in the room on the other side of the curtain
KAYLA: To consummate a marriage
SARAH: When they were consummating a marriage
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And it was partially to make sure that they did
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Also it reminds me of the fantasy suites in Bachelor
KAYLA: True. It's just the fact that... I don't know, we should not be as ashamed of sex as we are as a culture, but also
SARAH: But I don't want to know!
KAYLA: Do we have to know exactly when and where you're doing it?
SARAH: As an ace, I don't want to know.
KAYLA: It just seems like...
SARAH: I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to be aware of it
KAYLA: It just seems weird
SARAH: I personally, did I say this last week on the pod?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: Or did I tell someone else? I personally have never had the experience of hearing someone in a hotel having sex and I would like to keep it that way, but I'm not confident
KAYLA: I was traveling for work last week and one of my co-workers
SARAH: Oh it was you who I was telling, but it was not on the pod
KAYLA: Oh okay. Yeah. So my friend and some of our other co-workers were in one of their hotel rooms and then the people next door were having extremely loud sex so then everyone had to put their ear to the wall because apparently it sounded very fake so everyone was trying to figure out if it was the TV or real people, so they all had to do a little listen and I was like that's not something I would like to do
SARAH: Not the fake detector. Alright Bogey let's stop trying to eat my salad. Well he's not going to eat it, he just wants to get into it.
KAYLA: Right in front of my salad?
SARAH: Right in front of my salad. Alright. Do we have any more things that's like – oh my god. This is the perfect epitome of Sounds Fake but Okay
KAYLA: This really is just the epitome of what the podcast was when we started it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's not really this anymore it's just kind of...
SARAH: But it is right now
KAYLA: Garbage. But it is right now.
SARAH: Everything becomes garbage in the end. There's a composting machine that I want
KAYLA: Is it the one that spins it around or whatever?
SARAH: I don't think so. I heard an ad for it on my podcast this morning. Bogey? Take a deep breath. Bogey. Is this the expectation? No. And what is the expectation? That you do not do this. And what are you doing? This. Okay well at least he's no longer in my salad
KAYLA: Mm. Billie has not been up here bothering me and I just looked on Twitter and Cassis who is staying with us this month posted a picture of Billie on the bathroom counter
SARAH: Good
KAYLA: Downstairs. So that is where she has been
SARAH: My sister sent a picture today of, they got back from wherever they were, and in Rosie the dog's bed, was an empty can of La Croix
KAYLA: oh
SARAH: A butter knife, and a sharp knife. Like a kitchen knife. A small kitchen knife, but a kitchen knife.
KAYLA: Well she just had some work to do.
(40:00)
SARAH: She's a hoarder. She liked to collect stuff and just put it in her bed
KAYLA: Me too
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway, do we have any more things that sound fake?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: This week is a shorter episode to make up for last week's hell.
KAYLA: (laughing) Yeah
SARAH: Sorry Bagel. Kayla, what is our poll for this week? What are the allos do culture shock that fucking sounds fake?
KAYLA: Yeah. What is your aspec culture shock?
SARAH: Mm. Kayla, what is your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: Mm. My beef is that I was not in a good mood today for just no reason in particular, and I was like "what is happening" and then I realized a couple hours ago that it is time for my period to start
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: And I just think it's stupid that people with uteruses have to deal with this
SARAH: Yeah, it's pretty rude
KAYLA: Mm, yeah
SARAH: What's your juice?
KAYLA: My juice is that I recently bought a lego set. It's the one that looks like succulents.
SARAH: Mm. Nice
KAYLA: And it's very good and it was very fun, but now the problem is I want to buy all of the legos but they are expensive
SARAH: Jimin did one of those on his birthday live
KAYLA: Same
SARAH: My beef is that there is a national shortage of Adderall
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: So I'm rawdogging it this week
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because I have been unable to get it because it is on back order everywhere. I won't elaborate more because I'll get mad again.
KAYLA: (laughing) Okay
SARAH: My juice is I think music is nice. Just the concept of music. I think listening to it is good
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: I think it brings people together and that's nice. It also starts fan wars but we won't talk about that.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And you know what? Is it really the music that starts fan wars, or is it the people. You know?
KAYLA: Mm, deep. That's so deep.
SARAH: (to the tune of Hudson Mohawke by cbat) Do do do do doo doo doo do
KAYLA: (hums along)
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Yeah okay. You can tell us about your beef your juice, the things about allos that culture shocked you, on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $5 patrons who are promoting something this week are Ashley W, Asritha Vinnakota, Bookmarvel, Brandom Smith, and Brooke Siegel. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Maggie Capalbo who would like to promote puppy Ezra Bean, Martin Chiesl who would like to promote his podcast, Everyone's special and No one is, Mattie who would like to promote Gender euphoria, Potater who would like to promote potatoes, and Purple Hayes who would like to promote their friends' podcast, The Host Club. We also have some other $10 patrons. Rosie Costello who likes to bring knives into her bed, Barefoot Backpacker, The Steve, Zirklteo, Arcnes, Ari K, Changeling and Alex the Ace cat, David Jay, David Nurse, CinnamonToastPunch, my Aunt Jeannie. And we have 2 new patrons, Kayla. Cass is back.
KAYLA: Cass is back, back, back. Tell a friend, friend, friend.
SARAH: Back back again. Cass is back. Tell a friend, friend, friendCass is back, and Cass would like to promote using the correct pronouns for everyone. So true, bestie. And also Alyson. Alyson, tell us what you want to promote. Thank you for your money. Sorry that this is what you're paying for
KAYLA: Mm, don't say that.
SARAH: Okay I'll just bloop go back
KAYLA: Alright
SARAH: (whispering) Not really though. I bet Kayla can't hear that
KAYLA: I can hear you whispering
SARAH: (still whispering) But can you hear what I'm saying?
KAYLA: Can you hear what I'm saying?
SARAH: (still whispering) But did you hear what I said first?
KAYLA: Did you hear something something something?
SARAH: I hate ASMR. Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Click4Caroline who would like to promote Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappell who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo who would like to support friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Keziah Root who would like to promote the people who come into your life for a small time but when you need them, Nathaniel J White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla's Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggart.art, and Sara Jones who is @eternalloli everywhere. Our $20 patrons are Sabrina Hauck Merry Christmas from your parents, and Dragonfly who would like to promote the livestream we're doing and everything not being bad. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
(theme music)
SARAH: You have to say the thing
KAYLA: Sounds fake but okay
(laughter)
SARAH: Maybe try it again?
KAYLA: You didn't like that?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay. Can we put this in at the end?
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: Okay
(theme music)
(45:34)
(silence)
(45:53)
KAYLA: Sounds fake, but okay
(45:55)