Ep 291: Am I The Asshole pt. 8 (Asshole Edition)
Content Warning: Mentions of child abuse, domestic violence, death, miscarriage, incest
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl. I'm Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, you just won't believe it, Am I the asshole?
SARAH: Are you?
KAYLA: I don’t know
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: Hi
SARAH: Hi. You'll never guess what we're doing this week
KAYLA: You will never guess
SARAH: Guys, what if we just make this like a monthly thing?
KAYLA: What if we…
SARAH: Would you like that? Would you not like that?
KAYLA: Maybe we'll do a little poll and say can we please?
SARAH: Because we like doing it and supposedly you guys like listening to it, but I don't know
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: I don’t know. But yeah, we're doing, “Am I asshole?” again this week. I've pulled some aside we're not going to be able to get through all of them. I would like to start however… wait, do we have any housekeeping? What are we talking about this week? Am I the asshole? Do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: Am I the asshole?
SARAH: Doing everything in reverse
KAYLA: Not that I can think of
SARAH: Great. Okay, this…. we're going to start with an obituary
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: Now, my sister found this a couple of months ago. It is from Reddit.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: It's actually from Michigan. I may have sent this obituary to you. But as far as we know I have not read it on the podcast
KAYLA: I don't remember reading an obituary recently so if you did, I completely forgot
SARAH: If I did it probably would have been in like late December
KAYLA: I still don't remember that but… okay
SARAH: And it's this obituary written by the daughter. I'm not going to read the whole thing because it is a little dark. But I'll just give you all the highlights
KAYLA: Okay. Yes. Thank you
SARAH: At the top, Linda Lernel Harvey Cullum Smith Stull
KAYLA: That’s the name?
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: That's too much
SARAH: Linda Lernel Smith Stull was born on October 1st 1951, welcomed to the world by loving parents who preceded her in death. In February of 1969 she gave birth to her first child, Gayle Harvey Heckman. Lernel deceived her first husband Roderick Alan Harvey into believing that he was her first child's biological father, they married and divorced when Gayle was three years old. Lernel then had Gayle adopted by her second husband Frank Randall Cullum, they divorced after a decade of marriage, Gayle never heard from Frank again. Lernel’s third husband, James Floyd Hart sexually accused… Sexually abused Gayle when she was 13. Instead of protecting her daughter Lernel accused Gayle of “trying to steal her husband” and proceeded to beat her senselessly
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: After another divorce, Lernel acquired her fourth husband through the unofficial or ineligible word-of-mouth inmate run Jackson State Prison pen pal program
KAYLA: Oh boy
SARAH: In between and during her marriages there were a variety of unsavory men in and out of our home, as a mother she was violent, hateful, cruel, it goes into just more about like the abuse, the sexual abuse that was endured in this home. I’m going to skip over that, Gayle had to establish a no-contact order to protect herself and her family, that was 24 years ago
KAYLA: So, Gayle is the kid, right?
SARAH: Yes, Gayle is the kid.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: The mom is…
KAYLA: Linda
SARAH: Linda, but they're calling her Lernel
KAYLA: Yes, that’s an awful name
SARAH: It's really making me sound quite Midwestern
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: In March of 2023 Gayle unexpectedly found out who her biological father was through a popular online DNA service. After years of deception from Lernel regarding who Gayle's father was, Gayle and her family are navigating the waters of getting to know their paternal biological family. This is it, Lernel will never be the mother and grandmother that she could have chosen to be for her family, that door is closed forever with her death, that is what Gayle and her family grieve, who their mother and grandmother could have been. While they are afraid that Gayle, her husband and their four children cannot share their grief, their heartache lies with Lernel's brothers and sisters, their aunts, uncles and cousins as they grieve the death of a complicated family member whom they love very much, this is where it gets spicy.
KAYLA: Okay, I was going to say this is just sad so far
SARAH: Lernel passed away December 12th 2023 in Three Rivers, Michigan and will now face judgment
KAYLA: Oh, whoa
SARAH: Gayle and her family forgive Lernel and hope that she has found peace, they also hope to find peace within themselves. Lernel will not be missed by Gayle or her family. They all understand that the world is a much better place without her.
KAYLA: Oh my God. I mean that seems very justified
SARAH: It does, it seems incredibly justified.
KAYLA: I'm just… Like who asked this daughter to write the obituary when clearly the daughter hates her, who was like, “you know who should do the obituary?”
SARAH: Oh my God, I mean, maybe nobody else… nobody liked her enough to want to do it. Like…
KAYLA: Yeah, I guess that's fair. I guess it does seem like nobody liked her, which is fair, that is wild
SARAH: Yeah, and she will face…
KAYLA: Judgement
SARAH: The caption is just like… she wrote… the daughter wrote a brutal rot in hell kind of obituary about her mom and then in the comment someone is like, this was posted somewhat locally to me and I got to read both this and the “revised versions of the obit”
KAYLA: Who revised it?
SARAH: I don't know, but they say even the sanitized version is dripping with the subtle yet clear hatred for her
KAYLA: Listen, I love that, that woman sounds like she was awful and now she will be judged
SARAH: Yeah, and the reason why she listed her name as Linda Lernel Harvey Cullum Smith Stull is because she lost all of her husband’s names
KAYLA: That's so funny
SARAH: So
KAYLA: Oh, ma’am
SARAH: Yeah, the ending is so good but like you really need their lead up to the ending to understand…
KAYLA: To understand the hatred, yeah. Wow, what a way to start.
SARAH: I also want to be clear that when it said the unofficial or illegible word-of-mouth inmate-run Jackson State Prison pen pal program the program was indeed in quotations.
KAYLA: Oh my God, what does that even mean?
SARAH: I don’t know, anyway
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: So that's how we're starting this episode.
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: I would say Linda is the asshole in this
KAYLA: Linda is absolutely the asshole and we are not sorry that she's dead
SARAH: She will now face judgment
KAYLA: And she will now face judgment
SARAH: Great. Okay. Um, do we want to stay on the topic of dead people?
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: Am I the asshole for exposing my wife's infidelity at her funeral?
KAYLA: That's funny. That's funny.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Wait, I just remembered we do have housekeeping.
SARAH: What is it?
KAYLA: It was just aro week. Happy aro week.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: That's all, happy aro week.
SARAH: Happy aro week
KAYLA: Hope it was good
SARAH: Us forgetting to mention it is erasure of me too. So, it's okay.
KAYLA: I don't know that I would say it's okay, but…
SARAH: I'll forgive us
KAYLA: Okay. Thank you.
SARAH: This was actually posted in our slash. Am I the angel? Which I don't know what…
KAYLA: Oh my God, what's that?
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Am I the angel? Is this a new place for us to go?
SARAH: I don’t know. But all right, am I the asshole for exposing my wife's infidelity at her funeral? My (35 male) wife (25 female)- it's a 10-year age difference. Can you stop looking up?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Listen, listen to this story
KAYLA: Okay, “am I the angel?” is a place to satirize, cross post from, poke fun at and hold meta discussions on the never-ending ridiculous stories of “Am I the asshole?”
SARAH: I don't care
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I don't care if this is real or not. It's fun
KAYLA: Okay. Okay
SARAH: Anyway, well, sorry. I got distracted reading the comments now
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: We're going to pretend this is real because…
KAYLA: But do we think it's not?
SARAH: It probably is real.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Well, because am I the angel… because it's satirizing so it's like you don't know how…
KAYLA: Well, it also said cross posting so like reposting them
SARAH: That’s true. It is real.
KAYLA: Let's just assume it's real for fun
SARAH: Okay, my (35 male) wife (25 female) which that's a big age gap given your wife's age.
KAYLA: Wait, what is it?
SARAH: It's a 35 and 25.
KAYLA: Mm, yeah. I don’t know
SARAH: Anyway, well the wife tragically died in a motor vehicle accident recently. I was devastated at the time we were planning on starting a family as I am earning a six-figure salary now. So, we could afford a dream home and white picket fence happy ending. After her death I had the odorous task of collecting and compiling all of her belongings, all of her trinkets…
KAYLA: Oh, God
SARAH: Items from her hobbies, she loved to do crafts, her gratitude journals, which I didn't read of course. There was also her phone that had survived the crash. We had an open phone policy as our trust was solid, or so I thought. I opened her phone and started going through her photos, photos of us, selfies of her beautiful face, our dog, her crafts and inspirations when suddenly a message popped up
KAYLA: Oh, no
[00:10:00]
SARAH: “I can't believe you're gone, babe. I know you'll never read this, but I just want you to know how much I'm going to miss you” I opened her messages and there it was, months and months of texting and sexting between her and a co-worker, nudes, selfies, you name it (My wife was a 34 double-d)
KAYLA: Stop, I don't care. What do you mean?
SARAH: Really specific too
KAYLA: I hate that
SARAH: I also discovered the “secret folder” she kept all their photos and videos together in, the videos were explicit and heartbreaking, something no husband should ever see. I don't know what devastated me more, her dying or finding out she had been sleeping with someone else for almost a year. During this time, I had to plan her funeral, deal with her family and act the grieving husband when inside I was ready to scream her betrayal to the heavens. With two days left till her funeral I made the decision. I painstakingly compiled every piece of evidence from her phone. I printed out the entirety of their texts and placed them in binders. I put the explicit photos and videos at the end of the PowerPoint presentation made to remember her life, the day of the funeral…
KAYLA: Stop
SARAH: Somber, tearful, her dad did the eulogy and we listened to her favorite song. Finally, I asked to say my piece. I began with the presentation taking my time scrolling through photos of her, of us, her childhood, her awkward teen years, I admit the feelings for her were overwhelming and I almost considered backing out but then I remembered the videos of my wife being veritably railed and the anger trumped any nostalgic feelings I may have let win that day. I finally asked my brother to hand out the binders to her family members. He was unaware of their contents. I waited while they began paging through, their eyes widening, a gasp coming from her mother. Then I played the last part of the presentation, the photos of her with her co-worker kissing and being intimate. I took the mic and said “and after everything this is what she left me with and now I leave it with you, too. I don't see why I should carry this alone while you sing her praises.” Mic drop. I left the church and drove home. Naturally, my phone began blowing up, her family members calling me despicable, disgusting, soiling her memory, every curse under the sun. Yet my brother and parents have told me they agree with my late wife's family that I was the asshole in the situation. I'm satisfied with my decision and… but I'd like to know if outsiders would consider it as morally justified. So, am I the asshole? TLDR, I found out after my wife's death she had been cheating on me for nearly a year, I exposed all the evidence at her funeral and I'm being labeled asshole of the year
KAYLA: I fear he's the asshole
SARAH: I fear we found an asshole.
KAYLA: You can't do that. Listen, it sucks to be cheated on and I can only imagine the feeling of finding out post-death because there is no closure like that fucking sucks, and I also don't necessarily disagree that he should bear that alone, I think he could definitely have let her family know. But at the funeral, it’s really tough.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It’s like were there no children at this funeral?
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Like I definitely went to funerals as a child
SARAH: Yeah, also the thing is like the people at the funeral, there are also going to be a lot of people there who like maybe didn't know her that well.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And even if she… like if she were still alive and you found out that she was cheating like… and you decided to bring it to her loved ones so that they knew you wouldn't also bring it to all of her acquaintances.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like you wouldn't… you know, like the audience sort of thing. I am looking through the comments, “info, was the co-worker packing?”
KAYLA: I mean, that's fair though, if he's going to talk about his wife's boob size for some reason then maybe we should talk about everyone's size
SARAH: But a lot of the comments are like “this was masterful,” “I didn't realize until I read a comment like what subreddit I was in,” like they were like I genuinely thought we were just like in the regular old, Am I the asshole subreddit. “Not the asshole because you ensured to put her breast size.”
KAYLA: Oh my God. I mean this has to be fake, right?
SARAH: It has got to be fake, but…
KAYLA: Because there's no way
SARAH: It's just
KAYLA: It’s silly
SARAH: It is masterful. It is masterful, I’ll give him that
KAYLA: You can't do that, you just can't do that
SARAH: I did see someone in the comments who basically said that like they did see an “am I the asshole?” where someone did a similar thing, but it wasn't a funeral it was like a birthday party. Like it was their spouse's birthday party
KAYLA: See that, I don’t know how I feel about that. Well, it depends on the severity of the cheating
SARAH: Yeah, the size of the birthday party?
KAYLA: The size of the birthday party. I mean, it's like… And also, they're alive to defend them like, you know, they're alive to like say their piece, so it's like…
SARAH: You're not just like smearing their name as you bury them
KAYLA: I don’t know, I think I might be okay with the birthday party thing. So, it's like if you're going to cheat on someone then you need to be ready for the consequences, you know
SARAH: Yeah. All right, am I the asshole for telling my friend that her boyfriend is objectively hotter than her?
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: Hear me out, I don't think it's that bad in context and I was just trying to make a point for our broader discussion.
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Okay. So, me, my friend Jill and my other friend Rich were hanging out... Oh, it says “allowed where we live,” I was like what? This was written during Covid. I was like, what do you mean “allowed where we live”
KAYLA: Yeah, good job. You're in your house
SARAH: Okay, this was probably early COVID. We somehow ended up talking about how Rich is single and wants to date. So, we were discussing what kind of person she's looking for and just chatting in general and at some point, we looked through her Tinder options and I half-jokingly asked Rich how far above and below your league are you willing to go? Jill laughed at this but Rich indulged and Jill asked whether we seriously believed in leagues. This started a discussion and both Rich and I said we do believe in leagues because it's just the way the world works in our experience. We got into a bit of a discussion about this and Jill maintained that leagues were silly and pretty much touted some cliches about beauty being in the eye of the beholder and loving a whole person et cetera. Rich and I disagreed and said that in general people do date and settle for people objectively in the same level of attractiveness but again Jill just reiterated that there are no leagues. Then I gently suggested that…
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: Maybe the reason why Jill was so against/uncomfortable with the idea and is overlooking the general situation is because her boyfriend is objectively better-looking than her
KAYLA: Why would you say that?
SARAH: I also added that I did think she was attractive as well. She got very upset at this suggestion and was offended, she said her boyfriend was not settling for her and it's fucking rude to imply so. She was upset and left which just ruined the whole night. We didn't mean to offend her or actually think she was ugly or anything. It's just that her boyfriend happens to be a very very good-looking guy and clearly it works for them, they've been together for years. So, I thought she'd be secure in her relationship and would be okay with me just gently pointing out that she may have a bias which prevented her from seeing our side of the discussion. I feel that in the context of what we were talking about it wasn't really mean. Rich wants to apologize but I think we should just let it boil over because, boil over?
KAYLA: Yeah, wrong.
SARAH: That's not the phrase you wanted. Blow over is what we were looking for. Because we weren't intentionally being mean, am I the asshole? TLDR, we had a discussion about leagues and I pointed out to my friend who doesn't believe in leagues, could be biased because she was dating above her league, I only said it so she could see the point I was trying to make more clearly.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think you're the asshole, I don’t think you can say that
SARAH: You have to be certain that not only will the person you say this to take it well and with a sense of humor but you have to be certain that you and that person have the type of relationship where hearing that from you would be okay and silly not insulting
KAYLA: Yes. Because also like the point of like I thought she was secure enough in her relationship to think that, I don't think how secure she is in her relationship has anything to do with hearing that comment? Like that’s… You saying that has nothing to do… And also, just say that you're not suggesting that her boyfriend is settling when your main argument was that people settle for people within their own league or below
SARAH: Yeah, so like the implication was your boyfriend settled for you
KAYLA: Like literally… I think that person is absolutely the asshole because also if your justification is you only said it to make your point that would maybe be okay if your point mattered and it was an important discussion
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That like you needed to get your point across but this is clearly not a topic that matters
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Or is important enough to make someone upset
SARAH: Like the person was like, you know, we still told her that she was attractive and it's like yeah but like if someone says “oh your boyfriend is so much hotter than you” and it's not in a context that feels playful or silly or funny.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Or if it is but you're not the kind of person who can take it that way
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like…
KAYLA: That's just not… there's like no need to say anything like that. There's no need to say anything like that ever
SARAH: Yeah. There's a comment here that says, “so how long have you had a crush on Jill's boyfriend?”
KAYLA: That is funny, that is funny. That's just so unnecessary. You don't need to do that, you don't need to be saying… that's like when you tell someone like your friend is hotter than you, like you don't need to… What are you doing?
SARAH: Yeah. Like I feel like… I feel like it's one thing if you're like on the dating apps and you're like swiping through people and like your friend like shows you this person and you're like, oh my god, that guy's so hot
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: In certain circumstances you might be able to say like “oh my God he's so much hotter than you” like if he swiped right like yeah, like lock him down like there's a way to do that but I think especially if they're in like a committed relationship.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's weird
SARAH: It’s weird.
KAYLA: Yeah, I do think you're right. I think when casually dating or just looking at people there's a way to tell someone that they're like out of anyone's league maybe is a nice way to put it. But if it's your long-term boyfriend, I don't think we can…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Do that
SARAH: And I think… I mean, it also kind of… It goes the other way too, like if someone is in a relationship with someone and you think your friend is out of that person's league, telling your friend that is not productive.
KAYLA: No, I don't think so
SARAH: Like just being like “I think your boyfriend is a fucking dog,” like that's not…
KAYLA: Especially if it's just… If we're talking purely about leagues as looks, like telling your…
SARAH: Just like physical, yeah
KAYLA: Telling your friend that they're too good for someone is one thing if it's like…
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: They are like not compatible or just like their aspirations are not…
SARAH: Or if their partner is a dick
KAYLA: Right. But to be like that person is too ugly for you is something that you can think privately.
SARAH: Yeah, don't say it aloud
KAYLA: Now I have. I've definitely thought things like this privately, but you don't say it
SARAH: Aloud.
KAYLA: You don’t say it to the person's face. You're allowed to think people are ugly just in your head.
SARAH: Like that's the person that they like love and you like view them as ugly. They're like, “you're settling”
KAYLA: That’s so crazy
SARAH: It’s like no girl.
KAYLA: You can't say that
SARAH: You can't say that to people
KAYLA: You can’t do that
SARAH: Okay, this one is unhinged, are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes. So, have we gotten all assholes so far? No, no the obituary wasn't
SARAH: Yes. And I'm just going to tell you right now, we have another asshole
KAYLA: Man, we should have… okay. I might just say that this is an asshole-themed one… assholes
SARAH: I am the asshole
KAYLA: I am… they are the assholes. Okay. Anyway
SARAH: Are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Am I the asshole for begging my sister to let us adopt my nephew?
KAYLA: Beg my sister to let… Okay, so she wants her sister's kid?
SARAH: Uh-huh, okay
KAYLA: Okay. I mean…
SARAH: It gets worse.
KAYLA: I mean that's like I've heard of situations like that very often but usually it's because the sister is like not fit to care for a child. But okay
SARAH: Let's proceed
KAYLA: Yeah. Okay
SARAH: This was one of the ones that after I read it, I was so angry I wrote a little paragraph
KAYLA: Oh, no. Good, good
SARAH: Okay. I just had a miscarriage three months ago and my husband…
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: And my husband and I tried so hard for that to be our stick baby, stick baby meaning the baby that sticks, I don't know if what means
KAYLA: That sticks in the uterus instead of…
SARAH: With…
KAYLA: Falling out
SARAH: Within the past year we've had six miscarriages, which is horrible, that's a lot in one year
KAYLA: Oh, that’s awful, that’s awful
SARAH: Like six in one year
KAYLA: That's crazy
SARAH: And that… Like that's tough
KAYLA: That's awful
SARAH: Genuinely bad, sorry to hear that.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: They go on– we are devastated, but we are not willing to give up on trying for our own someday it will happen. This past month my sister welcomed her newborn into this world, he's my second nephew and the most precious thing in the world. I adore him so much. During my sister's pregnancy I was a major part of it and she is aware of all of our losses and she knows how badly we want a baby. We want one so bad it hurts. After our miscarriage we suggested we name her son after the baby we miscarried, his name would have been Noah, my sister said she found it a little intruding and ultimately declined. We were devastated but respected her decision. That is a little weird. It would be one thing if the sister was like, “would it be okay if I take the name?” But like… but she told her sister that she should name her kid after… you know, that's weird.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's complicated. I don't know if it's like an awful suggestion
SARAH: It's just weird
KAYLA: But it's just… it's definitely complicated.
SARAH: Yeah. Once it got closer to her induction date, we suggested giving her a ride there and I offered to be in the room with her. I begged her to let me cut his umbilical cord and for him to be placed on my chest immediately after birth but she wouldn't let me. I felt such a connection with him since the moment I heard his heartbeat and I feel like he is the piece of us that is missing and the child we lost
KAYLA: No
SARAH: This past week my sister has been telling us how hard motherhood is and we offered to adopt him and treat him as our own. We want him so badly and we love him to pieces. My sister declined and asked that I give her space and not contact her for a little while, while she gets her mind straight. We begged her and told her how much this would mean to us. She is currently struggling financially as well. My husband and I plan on calling CPS and an adoption lawyer to see what they think is best for him in my family to see what is best for him. My family has since been calling and telling me I'm an asshole and to leave my sister alone, they also demanded we get help. But all I'm trying to do is get custody of my asshole
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: The custody of my nephew. Am I the asshole?
KAYLA: Yes, and you do need help
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like clearly six miscarriages in one year is awful and clearly even just one takes a huge mental toll. So, I understand that these people are very unwell
SARAH: And it's like a physical ailment too. Like it's not…
KAYLA: Yes, 100%
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's like not something to take lightly. However, you can't just have your sister's baby
SARAH: Well, and like the fact that like they talked about like calling CPS and an adoption lawyer. It's like…
KAYLA: Bananas
SARAH: But why is your sister not fit to have this child?
KAYLA: Yeah, especially when she already has another child. It's not like she doesn't know how to raise a child
SARAH: Well, she said it's her second nephew
KAYLA: Oh, I guess, okay, so I guess…
SARAH: I'm not sure if it's her sister's second child
KAYLA: Or a different sibling’s child.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That is a very good point, but still…
SARAH: But also, all her sister said was that motherhood is hard.
KAYLA: Which is true from what I've been told
SARAH: Like that’s accurate, like it doesn't even say like oh she's having like horrible postpartum depression. Like it's not… it's not…
KAYLA: All they're saying is…
SARAH: Like going into detail about like how bad, like it's just saying “oh, it's hard”
KAYLA: And also, she's having some financial difficulties, which is like, okay, like if you were really worried about the safety of the child, there are so many other things you could offer
SARAH: Yeah, and like the fact that she asked to be like the first person the baby was skin-to-skin, that is…
KAYLA: Bananas
SARAH: You always…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Give that to the mother because…
KAYLA: Yes, unless the baby has to be like in the like NICU tube, like it's very important that it is whoever is like the caregiver of the baby
SARAH: Yeah, especially if they're going to be like breastfeeding and like well like…
KAYLA: Also, I've never heard of like… The only people I've heard of cutting the umbilical cord are the doctor or like the other… if there's another parent
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like I've never heard of another family member doing that, brother, they need some help.
SARAH: Yeah. Although in the comment someone was saying, “I sincerely have a hard time believing this is real, but…
KAYLA: I really hope it's not
SARAH: If it somehow is then massively, you're the asshole” and they said at it “I read the post again and this has definitely got to be a troll post, six miscarriages in a year is highly improbable and if someone somehow did have that many they'd probably be hospitalized from complications”
KAYLA: Fair
SARAH: Like I was thinking about like you would be very early in all of those pregnancies
KAYLA: Yeah, that's true.
SARAH: Um, but someone did… someone was like “either that or her period was one day late and she considered it a miscarriage
KAYLA: Ma’am, imagine
SARAH: No, no. But I mean, let's pretend this is real, okay?
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Okay. If you if you really want kids that bad adopt but like adopt children that are like up for adoption
KAYLA: Yeah. Fair, because also she said at the beginning like we really want to have one on our own like biologically this baby is not… That…
SARAH: It does have her genetics because it’s her sister but… But like yes, it's like look feel free to keep raw dogging it in the meantime if you really want a biological child, you know
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Look into fertility treatments or something
KAYLA: Like I know people who have had… who have adopted kids and then after that had biological children
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like I know people who have mixed families and that the adopted kid was first
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But your sister never indicated that she didn't want to keep this child, you are literally trying…
KAYLA: Stealing
SARAH: To steal her child
KAYLA: Trying to steal a baby, just wild
SARAH: And then your sister is like, I need some space and you're like…
KAYLA: Please stop trying to steal my baby
SARAH: And then the family is like, “what the fuck?” and she's like, “I'm just trying to steal my sister's baby” what’s wrong with them
KAYLA: It has to be fake. I'm praying. I'm praying that it's fake
SARAH: All right, we got… we'll do one more. It's actually, this is a confession. It's from our confessions it's not…
KAYLA: Love?
[00:30:00]
SARAH: An Am I the asshole, but I found it on the World Wide Web and I said this is a thing
KAYLA: This is for me
SARAH: My wife and me don't talk to our dads because they're fucking
KAYLA: Wait, they're… the wife's dad and the husband's dad…
SARAH: Are fucking
KAYLA: Are fucking each other?
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: My dad raised me as a single gay dad and my wife's parents divorced when she was young because her dad was gay. After we married our dads started hanging out and then announced they were moving in. We thought it was funny until they said they were moving in as a couple. The thought of my dad and my father-in-law fucking is gross and we feel betrayed. How do we explain to our kids that grandpa and grandpa are also a couple, it's just too confusing so we don't talk to them anymore
KAYLA: What? You cannot… what?
SARAH: I mean it is a strange situation
KAYLA: It is but like that can't be the reason… you can't just not talk to them
SARAH: It's not like it's incest
KAYLA: I just… You can't. Okay. Listen, in the movie Eurovision with Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams, by the way an incredible movie. Spoilers, the main characters get together and then their parents, her mom and his dad…
SARAH: Oh, I forget all that
KAYLA: Get together at the end and like they make a joke about like you grow stop kissing in front of us, but like it's fine, you know, like it's fine
SARAH: Yeah, it's… I can understand it being weird. But…
KAYLA: Yeah, but…
SARAH: To not talk to them
KAYLA: Yeah, for sure, but you can't just not talk to them, like for sure it's like a little awkward, no one wants to think about their parents fucking let alone your wife's…
SARAH: Like your you know… like your dad fucking your wife’s dad
KAYLA: Your dad and your father-in-law. Like I get it, but you can't just not talk to them
SARAH: Like if that's the only reason that you're not talking to them.
KAYLA: Yeah. No, that's… you can't do that, that's so wild.
SARAH: I'm looking at the comments, number one comment, “Lol, this sub is gold”
KAYLA: Nice
SARAH: The next comment, “You'd really hate the show Grace and Frankie.”
KAYLA: I… Literally, that's the first thing I thought, it was Grace and Frankie. I was like, listen
SARAH: This person says you should fuck your girlfriend's dad to get back at your dad
KAYLA: Fuck your girlfriend’s…
SARAH: So, he should fuck his father-in-law to get back at his father for fucking his father-in-law
KAYLA: Great perfect
SARAH: This one is good, “I don't think it's confusing so much as it's just something you two feel uncomfortable with. Now you two are step siblings”
KAYLA: Okay, that's actually so true. It also reminds me the book I just finished which I talked about last week that like Bridgeton X Parent Trap one.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: It ends up… I mean spoilers, but also like it's the premise of the books, this was obviously going to be the ending that their parents get together, but also the girls get together and they all… so they're step siblings, they’re stepsisters, but they're also lovers
SARAH: Amazing
KAYLA: And it's fine, because it lets them be gay without having to get married to men, okay
SARAH: The reason that Clueless is weird
KAYLA: Which it is not though.
SARAH: I think it's weird. I think…
KAYLA: They're not step siblings
SARAH: But they were like raised as step siblings.
KAYLA: No, their parents were married for a year.
SARAH: I still think it's a little weird
KAYLA: They weren't raised together, they make a joke about their parents literally having been married for like a single year and she's like, “why would you call him my brother, we’re not…” like, “you were married for like a second.” But also yes, it's based on a book where she marries her cousin, okay, what are you going to do about it? Times were different. Okay.
SARAH: I also just… I think there's also some part of me that's like I think it's weirder when it's hetero because first of all, if you have an actual incest child, like they will have medical issues
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm not saying anyone should do incest.
SARAH: No, no, no. I'm just explaining… I'm explaining this my…
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Oh, I see
SARAH: In my head like my brain is like ick because I'm… my brain
KAYLA: The picture of the baby
SARAH: Society is like, “you can't do that because you'll have a sick baby”
KAYLA: A sick baby
SARAH: And so, then that just also kind of applies to like step siblings, even though…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Even though they're not genetically related like…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: In my mind it's equivalent
KAYLA: No, listen…
SARAH: But when it's two men, I'm like they’re not going to have a baby
KAYLA: They're not going to have a sick baby. I mean, I definitely agree like step sibling trope when they are like raised together, I am not a fan, I know that there is like a lot of like fiction out there where that's like a whole romantic trope and I don't like that because if you're raised together even if you're not genetically siblings like you're raised together you’re siblings, that's weird
SARAH: Like it's one thing if you like live next door to each other and you were like besties and you were like “raised together”
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: It's a different thing if you were raised in the same house by the same parents
KAYLA: As siblings, yes. If your parents get married later though or your dads start fucking and now, you’re step siblings that's different though because you were not raised as siblings
SARAH: And hey, they didn't say that the dads were married just that they were fucking well, and… they're a couple but they're not married
KAYLA: So, you're… right. So, I guess you're not legally step siblings and that's our thoughts on incest
SARAH: I'm just explaining why my brain thinks the way it does.
KAYLA: No, listen, I think probably most people agree with you. I just disagree with you on Clueless because they weren't raised together.
SARAH: I've only seen that movie once
KAYLA: Okay, well then…
SARAH: But I thought it was weird
KAYLA: The base material it is based on she does marry her cousin so like it's understandable that that would be upsetting because
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: They're cousins. Jane Austen. Am I right?
SARAH: Hahaha, silly silly Sally. Okay, that's it
KAYLA: Okay. Alright
SARAH: Were most of them maybe fake? I don't know
KAYLA: Perhaps half
SARAH: But we had assholes
KAYLA: But we had assholes and we had fun
SARAH: And we had fun and that's what matters in the end
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Our poll is should we do… should it be monthly?
SARAH: Should we just do this monthly?
KAYLA: Should we just do it every time?
SARAH: A follow-up poll, is it weird if your father and father-in-law are fucking?
KAYLA: Actually, that is… yeah, that's a good one
SARAH: You could also say mother and mother-in-law
KAYLA: That’s true
SARAH: You can also say mother and father-in-law or father and mother-in-law
KAYLA: Yeah, wait, because I feel like that has to have happened before.
SARAH: Oh, yeah, I'm sure. And again, my brain is just like naturally… not naturally, learnedly more uncomfortable with that because it's hetero. Like I just…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Even if they're… you know, 60 and they're not… Like they can't procreate like it… my brain is still like mmm, yucky.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know what to tell you
SARAH: Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is that today we were supposed to have one of the biggest snowstorms in Boston in years and we got no snow. The schools were closed, the workplaces told people to work from home, the day was a snow day and then we woke up this morning
SARAH: Nothing
KAYLA: And there was nothing, it snowed at one point, but it was like 36 degrees so by the time the snow hit it just was rain. So, it was just wet out, there was videos of just snowplows with nothing to do just like roaming around Boston
SARAH: The poor snow plow
KAYLA: Because they hired these people to do an extra work and there was no snow. Apparently, other areas of Massachusetts and the rest of the region got… still did get a lot of snow
SARAH: Yeah, I heard it was bad in New York
KAYLA: Yeah, some places did get lots of snow but us
SARAH: For some reason…
KAYLA: Nothing
SARAH: You just got skipped over
KAYLA: Yeah, I think they said at like 4 p.m. yesterday the storm like turned directions, but by the that time all of the schools had already…
SARAH: It was too late
KAYLA: Closed for some reason
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And so, I'm just like mad about it because I knew this would happen because the last time they said we were going to have a historic winter storm the exact same thing happened so I…
SARAH: It’s historically embarrassing
KAYLA: It is historically embarrassing I love global warming. My juice is I'm starting a yoga teacher training thing, have I told you about this?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Oh. Well, there you go
SARAH: I'm learning
KAYLA: You're learning
SARAH: I'm doing this thing at my yoga studio where it's like one weekend a month for five months and you go and you learn about yoga and the history of it and how to not colonize it and about anatomy and about such. It's like basically the first 50 hours of like 200-hour yoga teacher training. Do I want to be a yoga teacher? I don't know, but I thought it would be fun to learn about
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: So, I'm starting that this weekend and I'm excited
SARAH: Go off king
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: My beef is I just got a text from my sister. So, me and my sister we have each other on New York Times games so we can see each other's times on the daily mini-Crossword
KAYLA: Very good
SARAH: And I was really proud of myself today because I got it in 20 seconds.
KAYLA: Very good, uh, oh no.
SARAH: My sister just sent me a screenshot she got it in 19
KAYLA: Okay, now I feel like I need to do it. I don't like doing it for speed though, it makes me nervous
SARAH: I sometimes really just get slowed down by just typos.
KAYLA: Yeah
[00:40:00]
SARAH: You know my other beef is the other… oh my God, the Monday one for this week is the one
KAYLA: I didn’t do it
SARAH: Is like the regular crossword for a Monday is like… because Monday is the easiest so like…
KAYLA: Oh, I did, wait, the regular crossword? I did do that yesterday
SARAH: Mm-hmm. So, it's the easiest right and so it's the one where I can sometimes get it without any help like without like having it like check my… or anything.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I really thought I had it. And it was like no you're… you have at least one mistake and I was like, what the fuck is it? And I was like looking through I couldn't really see it and I was like fucking fine. I…
KAYLA: Was it a typo?
SARAH: Yeah, it was a typo.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: My favorite currency is the Ruro
KAYLA: Okay, I feel you can count that as you did it right though because you didn’t mean it
SARAH: But I don't get the little gold star, I just get the blue stone
KAYLA: Yeah, well
SARAH: And like I guess if I looked more closely I would have found a mistake but…
KAYLA: Well, I think you did it
SARAH: Thank you. My juice is my parents are going to be in town
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: No, but it will be good
KAYLA: Where are they staying?
SARAH: In a hotel. Well, this weekend when you listen to this podcast I may or may not be on Catalina Island depending on how much it's going to rain
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Because if it's going to rain a lot, then we're going to cancel it, but we'll know by tomorrow. Well, we have to know by tomorrow because tomorrow is the latest we can cancel it
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: And then my parents are going to be just like up here in a hotel near me. We're going to see the Wiz me and my mom and my roommate
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: My dad is very pleased to not be going.
KAYLA: I'm sure
SARAH: You know, the usual
KAYLA: I love
SARAH: Not my sister sending me Reddit pod content right now
KAYLA: Now is too late
SARAH: The way we are doing Patrons…
KAYLA: It's too late and…
SARAH: Right now. You are too late
KAYLA: You are too… should I do the mini right now?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Kayla, you can tell us about your beef, your juice your… Yeah, on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, right? That's what I say next. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Meredith, Morgan Impink, Philip Rueker, Phoenix Eliot and Rachel. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Martin Chiesel who would like to mod his podcast “everyone is special and no one is.” Parker who would like to know being a silly little guy. Purple Hayes who would like to promote their friends’ podcast “the host club.” Barefoot Backpacker who would like to promote their YouTube channel RTWbarefoot. Song of Storm who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance and Val who would like to promote… Our other $10 patrons are Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Celina Dobson, David Harris, Derek and Carissa, Elle Bitter, my aunt Jennie, Kayla's dad and Maff. Oh my God. My other beef is that my throat is itchy.
KAYLA: It sounds itchy
SARAH: And there has been a really big uptick in Covid.
KAYLA: Oh, good
SARAH: So, I'm like damn when I go to the gym tomorrow, I'm going to have to work out with my fucking mask on
KAYLA: Oh, I hate that
SARAH: Anyway, our… but now I'm like, “oh my God, do I have Covid because my throat hurts?”
KAYLA: Probably not
SARAH: Probably not but maybe I’ll take a test at some point. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Sherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Dia Chappell who'd like to my twitch.tv/melodydia, Hector Murillo who'd like to friends that are supportive, constructive and help you grow as a better person. Nathaniel White who would like to promote nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote KateMaggartArt.com and Schnelll who would like to promote accepting everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are dragonfly and my mom who would like to promote wearing masks, especially on like planes and like public transportation
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: It's really good places to wear masks.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]