Ep 310: Yapping

Transcription Details 

Client Name: Sounds Fake But Okay Podcast

Date: August, 04, 2024

Speakers in the Audio File

Speaker 1: Sarah

Speaker 2: Kayla

Episode 310: Yapping

[00:00:00]

SARAH: Hey what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah that's me 

KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl that's me Kayla 

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just… Everything? Anything? It doesn't matter, we just don't understand 

KAYLA: On today's episode, yapping 

BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay 

SARAH: What is it? Is it anything? Everything, anything… 

KAYLA: I don't… I’m not the one… this

SARAH: Anything, it's anything, it's anything

KAYLA: This is the conversation we have every time… 

SARAH: It's because the book is different 

KAYLA: It's not actually 

SARAH: Really? 

KAYLA: Yeah, we say this every… you say that every time and it's not, you've Berenstain Bearsed your own book

SARAH: Oh my God, I've Berenstain Bearsed myself. I’ve Berenstain Berenst…

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: Anyway, welcome back to the pod 

KAYLA: Hello 

SARAH: Hello, how was everyone was summer break? It was very eventful in America 

KAYLA: Yeah, we…

SARAH: What happened?

KAYLA: A lot happened. I feel like this felt like the longest break we had ever taken 

SARAH: It did 

KAYLA: I don't know if it's because it was like a clean month

SARAH: Last week, I was like, “wait, do we have to pod this week?” and then I looked at the calendar and I was like, “no” 

KAYLA: No. I know, this felt like the longest one we had ever done 

SARAH: Wild 

KAYLA: Wild times 

SARAH: Anyway, how's everyone? I hope you've been good 

KAYLA: I also hope that 

SARAH: Has anyone done anything fun?

KAYLA: Um. I… 

SARAH: I was asking the listeners 

KAYLA: Oh, okay, sorry, I'll be silent 

SARAH: Mm, that's really fun, I'm so glad to hear that

KAYLA: Wow, that's really cool 

SARAH: Okay, Kayla did you do anything fun? 

KAYLA: Okay, I went on a boat 

SARAH: I'm on a boat, I’m on a boat 

KAYLA: We played that, we played that on the boat, for Dean's birthday he wanted to go in a boat and in the Boston Harbor they let you rent… 

SARAH: Dumpty?

KAYLA: Huh? 

SARAH: Dumpty? 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: Oh, we should have done that 

KAYLA: No, they have these like electric boats that go like six miles an hour

SARAH: It’s electric, boogie, boogie, boogie 

KAYLA: Yes. And so, they let you drive it by yourself even if you don't have a boating license, which is crazy to me, like the insurance policies they have must be crazy. 

SARAH: I'm like, that's not like a lake, that's like the ocean 

KAYLA: It is, but it's just like you can't leave the harbor, it's just the harbor 

SARAH: Yeah, but still 

KAYLA: And it's very slow and it's an electric boat, not gas, so it's like not that big a deal but still, yeah 

SARAH: What if the ocean eats you? 

KAYLA: That's fair, but we also had several people on the boat who had driven boats before so it was fine. Um, but I went on a boat, I started physical therapy for my new chronic back issues 

SARAH: Yeaaahhhh

KAYLA: Yeaaahhhh. So exciting, I had PT today. They keep making me do ab shit 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I hate that 

SARAH: I'm sorry to hear that, do they do… they do anything fun? Did they give you the bzzz bzzz, bzzz? 

KAYLA: No, there's nothing fun 

SARAH: Ugh 

KAYLA: It's not, not fun at all 

SARAH: Girl, when I had to do physical therapy for my wrist after I got surgery on it, one of the things they had me do was to stick my arm in this thing that had a bunch of corn husks, corn in it, and it would go…

KAYLA: What the fuck? For what?

SARAH: And there was this scientific reason, it worked 

KAYLA: Corn husks! 

SARAH: It was like… it was like… not like… not like the husk husk but it was like ground up, it was like little tiny… 

KAYLA: Okay, yeah 

SARAH: And it would just like hurricane around in there, with my hand in there 

KAYLA: Like a money machine? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: What was the science? 

SARAH: I don't know, I don't even know what it was supposed to do 

KAYLA: But did it work? 

SARAH: Well, I don't know, because I don't know what it was supposed to do 

KAYLA: Okay, but you just said to me when you started this it’s scientific, it works

SARAH: I didn't think it works. Well, they wouldn't have made me do it, it was a physical therapy, it wasn't like voodoo magic science house 

KAYLA: See, you say that but then you look back in history at medical things that were done and you say that's not real but those people are probably saying the same thing back time when they were letting blood and such 

SARAH: Fluidotherapy machine is the device filled with finely ground corn husks heated up to a hundred and twenty degrees and blown electronically, a patient can insert both hands for a set amount of time to work tendons and relieve numbness or tingling suffered from crush injuries or nerve damage 

KAYLA: How does it work though? Why corn husks? 

SARAH: It increases circulation and range of motion and it is believed to help with pain, edema, and muscle spasms caused by musculoskeletal disorders, it can also help with desensitization and increase collagen tissue extensibility 

KAYLA: The like circulating hot air makes sense to me, it's the corn husks that are confusing me, because like I can understand how circulating warm air would promote those things but like is the corn husk like a conductor of heat? 

SARAH: It's like a little… it's like little sand but like less harsh 

KAYLA: I guess that makes sense 

SARAH: Fluidotherapy, how? 

KAYLA: Mm

SARAH: It forces heated air through small particles creating a buoyant environment that massages the injured area 

KAYLA: Mm, so, it's like exfoliation? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Soft 

SARAH: And the process of transferring heat through the forced movement of air and particles, it's called forced convection, so it does like heat you 

KAYLA: Huh. Well, no, nothing like that 

SARAH: It's crazy that they call it fluidotherapy when there are no fluids involved 

KAYLA: It’s not fluid, they should call it cornido, corneido, they should call it corneido

SARAH: Corneido, that’s what it’s like, anyway 

KAYLA: They should really do that. Yeah, no, it's not fun we're doing things to fix my posture because it’s bad 

SARAH: Do they give you homework or do you just do exercises at PT?

KAYLA: I have homework, I go to PT twice a week 

SARAH: Oh 

KAYLA: And then I have homework and… 

SARAH: What's wrong with you again? Tell the kids 

KAYLA: Oh, yeah what's wrong with me is the best theory which I believe because it's what I theorized and then my physical therapist also said it independently of me so I was like, yeah 

SARAH: I’m a genius 

KAYLA: Yeah. I was like yeah, is piriformis sciatica 

SARAH: Mm-hmm

KAYLA: So, there is a muscle deep in your booty

SARAH: Uh-huh 

KAYLA: One in each cheek 

SARAH: One in each booty 

KAYLA: One in each booty, and it's a butt muscle and… 

SARAH: It's a butt 

KAYLA: It’s a butt, and it's like really deep in there and it's right up against your sciatic nerve which goes from your lower back down through the backs of your legs

SARAH: Ass too fat?

KAYLA: Ass too fat? Well, more like back too squiggly because the… so my piriformis muscle got like two tense because I have very flat feet and scoliosis so certain parts of my body overcompensate and work harder than they should 

SARAH: You have a very distinct walk 

KAYLA: Yeah, thank you, it's the scoliosis and the very flat feet

SARAH: You're welcome 

KAYLA: Thank you, so, anyway basically my piriformis muscles got like very tight and were like jutting up against the sciatic nerve and causing nerve pain and back hurt and butt hurt 

SARAH: In conclusion let's just say, ass too fat 

KAYLA: Ass too fat, so, yeah, I've been doing a lot of ass exercises which is… 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I was saying to the members of my household the other day that it's funny that like my ass is so fat and beautiful and yet it is my downfall at this time 

SARAH: Yeah, yeah, that's tough 

KAYLA: My juicy, juicy, cheeks 

SARAH: Juicy, juicy, juicy cheeks, ass too fat

KAYLA: Ass too fat disease, yep 

SARAH: As y'all may have noticed, we're not actually really talking about anything this week

KAYLA: Oh, yeah, no 

 SARAH: This is just a yappathon 

KAYLA: Yeah, there is no theme, just a welcome back, just a little catch up 

SARAH: We do have… we do have one question 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: That we will be addressing 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: But other than that it’s just ass too fat

KAYLA: It’s just ass too fat vibes

SARAH: Did I do anything interesting? 

KAYLA: Yeah, what's going on with your ass? 

SARAH: My ass is fine, um, I've been… I've decided I have to get very swole so I can throw all of my K-pop bias wreckers across the room 

KAYLA: Interesting 

SARAH: That's the goal 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: So, I have been doing more lifting of weights that are heavier 

KAYLA: Mm

SARAH: And surprisingly my wrist has been okay about it 

KAYLA: That's good 

SARAH: Shout out to my wrist for being a fucking bitch but…

KAYLA: Well 

SARAH: Maybe that corn husks, maybe those corn husks, the long-term benefit 

KAYLA: All those years ago, yeah, really, they really did something. Next time I see you I'm just going to kind of like whip around some corn husks at you

SARAH: Okay, cool 

KAYLA: Make your air drier 

SARAH: It’s corn season in Michigan and I'm not there for it 

KAYLA: Is it really? 

SARAH: I love… it's the very beginning of corn season 

KAYLA: Okay, I was thinking of corn season more as the fall 

SARAH: It's like August, is really like peak corn season 

KAYLA: I’m not a big corn guy 

SARAH: Fuck you, my sister is not either, she's allergic 

[00:10:00]

KAYLA: I fear… she is allergic to corn. I fear… like when corn is prepared well, I like it, I fear that I just like don't really like a corn on the cob

SARAH: What is wrong with you? That's the best kind 

KAYLA: I like it in elote

SARAH: You put butter on it, you put salt on it

KAYLA: It's not enough for some reason 

SARAH: I love corn season 

KAYLA: Yeah, I don’t know. I just… also, like the effort it takes to eat a corn on the cob is not worth it to me 

SARAH: Maybe you've gotten bad corn on the cob, maybe… 

KAYLA: I mean, maybe, it's just so much effort to eat a corn on cob 

SARAH: You know, how if you get corn on the cob at like a… not an airport, at a restaurant how sometimes the corn kernels are like kind of concave? Like no, no, no, no, no, none of that

KAYLA: It's just… I just can't imagine a corn on the cob tasting good enough to be worth what a mess it is to eat 

SARAH: My dad drives to, name redacted, local farm and he…

KAYLA: Yeah, but your dad be going places to get food 

SARAH: And he gets their fresh corn and we shuck it ourselves, I was often… and I was always… often the corn shucker 

KAYLA: I did shuck quite a corn back in my days as well

SARAH: And then you just… you boil that, you boil that little fella 

KAYLA: Mm-hmm 

SARAH: And then you put some butter and some salt, and oh, what a fucking delight, but it has to be in season otherwise it’s… 

KAYLA: You know the other problem is the people around me like to put a corn on the grill 

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: And I don't really like much… I don't like a hot dog on the grill 

SARAH: That's… well, that's wrong of you 

KAYLA: I know you like a charred dog, but I like a boiled hot dog like a child eating Kraft dinner 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: I'm going to Canada this weekend 

SARAH: I'm not 

KAYLA: And… okay. And we were discussing Canadian delicacies and I was like, “you guys, we have to get Kraft dinner” and no one around me knew about Kraft dinner, do you know about Kraft dinner? 

SARAH: Like the same shit that we have? 

KAYLA: Yeah, it's Kraft… 

SARAH: And we add cheese? 

KAYLA: Yeah, it’s Kraft mac and cheese, but they call it Kraft dinner and they love it 

SARAH: So, it's not different at all than what you can get in the United States of America? 

KAYLA: The box looks different like there's a brand that's called like KD 

SARAH: Oh 

KAYLA: But I don't know if it's Kraft and they just have a different looking box 

SARAH: Oh

KAYLA: They put it… it's the same, it's Kraft mac and cheese but they call it Kraft dinner, KD, and they love it 

SARAH: Oh, I was going to say…

KAYLA: And it's probably better

SARAH: Poutine 

KAYLA: I don't, we want poutine, I really want to get Canadian KitKats because I've heard they're much better than our KitKats 

SARAH: Oh, okay

KAYLA: Also, apparently their bagels are fucked up there, they have really big holes in the middle and they're quite flat 

SARAH: That's weird, I mean I think bagels are fucked up pretty much everywhere that's not New York City 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: Like if that's your standard then nothing else is ever going to compare 

KAYLA: But you should like… if you look… 

SARAH: Where we're bagels invented? 

KAYLA: I think somewhere Jewish 

SARAH: I think somewhere Jewish 

KAYLA: I'm not kidding 

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: I recently looked this up 

SARAH: No, you're a hundred percent right, it's just it's funny that that was your response. It originated in the Jewish communities of Poland 

KAYLA: Yes, let's go Pols 

SARAH: Origin is in Germany and Poland. I never… I didn't really ever see bagels that much in Germany 

KAYLA: I don't think of bagels as German 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I think of them as being from Brooklyn 

SARAH: I think of them as New York City, with that beloved, beloved New York City water. Bagels have been widely associated with Ashkenazi Jews since the 17th century, they're first mentioned in 1610 in Jewish community ordinances in Krakow, Poland 

KAYLA: Yeah, let's go Pols, yeah. I don't think of bagels as Polish either, like you think of all the Polish food and you don't think about a bagel

SARAH: Oh, it's a Montreal style bagel. Yeah, that's just… 

KAYLA: It's sad-looking

SARAH: It's wrong 

KAYLA: And that's where we're going, it is Montreal 

SARAH: Mm, French

KAYLA: Yeah, I'm having a very French summer… 

SARAH: Franseur

KAYLA: With the Olympics and going… 

SARAH: I don’t know why I just said a man's name, I said Franseur

KAYLA: Why would you ever say a man's name?

SARAH: So true. I was in a zoom today where they were discussing Montreal because one of the people in the zoom is from Montreal 

KAYLA: How did they feel about that? Were they pretentious about their French-ness? 

SARAH: No, it's the showrunner of Wild Cards, he's a delight 

KAYLA: Oh, I love that, I am worried… so the reason we’re going to Canada is because we're going to a music festival in Quebec 

SARAH: Quebec 

KAYLA: And like all of their stuff is in French, like their Instagram, all of their stuff is in French and now I'm like, “I should have brushed up on my French” 

SARAH: You should have 

KAYLA: I took six years of French for nothing 

SARAH: Parlez-vous français?

KAYLA: I think it was four years 

SARAH: Parlez-vous français?

KAYLA: Oui un peu 

SARAH: A si, a si, that’s Spanish

KAYLA: Yeah that’s… Nebraska? 

SARAH: Shall we do the one thing that's somewhat relevant to this podcast?

KAYLA: I guess 

SARAH: Speaking of French 

KAYLA: Exactly 

SARAH: So, if you live under a rock or you're listening to this in the future and you don't have a good grasp on the timeline of when this is happening, um, it is the Paris Olympics right now 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And they had an opening ceremony, first of all… 

KAYLA: What’d you think? 

SARAH: US women's gymnastics team, sorry, I pivoted and you weren't aware of it, uh, kicked ass, we love them 

KAYLA: Amazing, the drama… 

SARAH: And they shaded MyKayla Skinner so much, and I love it 

KAYLA: So, funny, I also love…

SARAH: And she deserves every bit of that shade 

KAYLA: Yeah, she sucks, I also love that McKayla Maroney commented and was like oh I feel the need to apologize to clear my first name and I really appreciated that because… 

SARAH: Some people were hating on her because they were mixing them up 

KAYLA: B, originally, I thought it was her because… 

SARAH: No, no, no 

KAYLA: MyKayla Skinner is so irrelevant…

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: I didn’t remember who she was at first and so I thought immediately if McKayla Maroney, it's not… 

SARAH: It's not the, ‘not impressed girl’ 

KAYLA: No, it's… yeah, it's the… 

SARAH: I met McKayla Maroney, she signed our vault table 

KAYLA: Okay

SARAH: At gymnastics 

KAYLA: Wow, anyway 

SARAH: We love 2012 vault silver medalist, should have been gold, but she fell, but the fact that she still had silver with the fall 

KAYLA: Huge

SARAH: Wild, the most beautiful M&R I've ever seen, we love her. MyKayla Skinner, MyKayla Skinner 

KAYLA: Bitch 

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: Still pick me stinker 

SARAH: She's mormon 

KAYLA: Is she really? 

SARAH: Yeah, she's Mormon, she's like married 

KAYLA: Interesting, okay 

SARAH: No, but like she got married, she got married like young  

KAYLA: At 12? 

SARAH: On the young side, yeah 

KAYLA: A child bride 

SARAH: She may have been married at the last Olympics 

KAYLA: That's wild 

SARAH: I mean, Simone Biles is married now 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: But Simone Biles is also 27 and it's her third Olympics 

KAYLA: But I just don't know how I feel about her husband, I just can't get behind him, I'll be honest

SARAH: Yeah, like I'm glad that she loves him but… 

KAYLA: You know, the thing that really bothers me is that he said at the beginning and will continue to talk about how he had like no idea how big she was and like didn't realize the kind of… Like there was some interview for this Olympics, so he was like, I had no idea what kind of pressure she was under and like all this stuff, and I was like, “how do you not know?” Like, “what rock do you live under?” 

SARAH: I saw an interview recently, it wasn't from recently but I saw it recently where they were like, you know, in your household like do you ever have like the argument of like, “who is the better athlete?” and she was like, “yeah, when we got married we had to ban it” but… and so she was like, “well, you know, what we decided is that like we're both very good at like our particular sports.” And then I was looking in the comments, and they were like, “no, no, no, no, no, he's fine at his sport…” 

KAYLA: No he’s like very average 

SARAH: “You are the best gymnast to ever live, there is a difference” 

KAYLA: Yeah, he's like not any… like respectfully 

SARAH: And she said… she said that he did her workout and like died and then… 

KAYLA: I'm sure 

SARAH: She did his workout and she was fine 

KAYLA: Yeah, I mean she's clearly a better athlete than him like he is exceptionally average at football 

SARAH: For context, because I'm sure many of you won't have heard of this motherfucker , Simone Biles's husband is… he plays on the Chicago Bears as… some position 

KAYLA: He was on the Packers, not anymore 

SARAH: Um, does he actually play for the Chicago Bears? 

KAYLA: I don’t… 

SARAH: Or does he bench warm for them? I don't know 

KAYLA: I don’t… I certainly don't think he's a starter 

SARAH: Yeah, his name is Owens

KAYLA: He wasn't on my fantasy team 

SARAH: His last name is Owens, I don’t know

KAYLA: Owens, yeah 

SARAH: Anyway… 

KAYLA: Anyway, what did you think overall of the opening ceremonies? 

SARAH: I didn't really watch them, I saw the Marie Antoinette… 

KAYLA: So…

SARAH: Metal thing, cool 

KAYLA: I love that

SARAH: Fun. I saw all of the conservatives freaking the fuck out about the drag queens and about the supposed Last Supper but… 

KAYLA: It was not 

SARAH: It was not the Last Supper, it was Dionysus 

KAYLA: Dionysus, yeah  

SARAH: I always… I have always… When I read Pretty Jackson, I read his name is Dionysus so in my head his name is Dionysus

KAYLA: Yeah, that's tough 

SARAH: I'll never get past that, anyway 

KAYLA: I watched all of the opening ceremonies live 

SARAH: I did not

KAYLA: Because it was on a Friday and I work from home on Fridays so my household all of us were working from home that day and we just worked from the couch and watch them all the 

SARAH: The only time I have watched live that didn't happen on a weekend was the women's team finals 

KAYLA: Um, I really liked the opening ceremonies, I know some people are unhappy with it, but I thought it was very cool because they… everyone went down the river in their little boats, and they like interspersed the athlete parade with all the performances…

SARAH: I heard that they accidentally called South Korea North Korea 

KAYLA: I also heard that, I didn't catch it as it was happening 

[00:20:00]

SARAH: Maybe it was just in French 

KAYLA: I don't remember but I did hear about it. 

SARAH: Mm

KAYLA: Anyway, I liked the opening ceremonies, I talked to my family about it and my parents were like, “we didn't get it.” And I was like…

SARAH: That is France for you 

KAYLA: I know, I was like, first of all, yes, it's very French, but also, second of all, I don't quite get what there is to get, it was just some fun skits 

SARAH: Display…

KAYLA: Basically 

SARAH: Celine Dion fucking ate that shit despite the fucking illness 

KAYLA: Today, I saw a video that was like the first clip was her in an interview in June being like, “you're going to see me very soon, like I'm working so hard in recovery to come back,” and then it cut to her at the Olympics and I started to cry on the bus because I was like, “Oh, my God” 

SARAH: Oh my God 

KAYLA: Literally when she came on the screen I screamed because I was just shocked, I was like so shocked and happy to see her there 

SARAH: Yeah, I saw a tweet about how like the fact that she did that performance like it shouldn't be used as like inspiration porn and that's not the right phrase, there's a phrase

KAYLA: I get what you’re saying though 

SARAH: Trauma porn? But not trauma, but like disability, just… I don't know, whatever it is the thing that I'm thinking of um…

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like it was a whole thing of like, oh, like if… even if you're like terminally ill you can do things too

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And it's like, they were like, no, she actually… like doing that performance took a large toll on her body, like… 

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Like the fact that she did that like she did it in spite of that and like you shouldn't…

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: They were like, “oh my God, she's such an inspiration” and it's like, no she chose to do this in spite of what it would do to her 

KAYLA: Yeah, it's not like she's walking away from it fine

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: And like she has not performed live in four years, like that was four years of work to get to the point where she could do that and I wouldn't be surprised if she never performs again, like… 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: You know?

SARAH: I don't remember what illness she has but it… 

KAYLA: It's one of the like paralysis ones I think, it's called like Still-Face disorder or something, I think

SARAH: Anyway, why this came up 

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Is because of the Paris threesome

KAYLA: The Paris threesome, so listen to this, if you didn't watch 

SARAH: I just saw clips of it, what was the context of it in the opening ceremony? 

KAYLA: Okay, yes, so the way that they did the opening ceremonies were basically like they had different sections that were different like themes 

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: So, they had like, you know the Marie Antoinette one they had like a little… section they had like of the fashion section. So, it was basically like they would do a performance and then it would like coincided with a certain section of the river so like… and it were a certain monument or whatever so like at the Louvre they had like a section where like the segment was like the art came out of the paintings like died at the museum and then they were in the river and whatever. Anyway, so this part was about love or something and it was in… it was a pre-taped thing, it wasn't like a live performance but it was these three people in a library and they were like looking at each other, it is also interspersed with a live performance of these like acrobats on these very wiggly tall stilts and they had matching outfits…

SARAH: France 

KAYLA: It was very French, okay, but it was cool though, because the music was all really cool and they would go between the like pre-taped thing and the live acrobats, it was fun 

SARAH: I heard that for people who were watching… like who were like at the Seine like it was pretty disappointing because like they literally just saw the boats go by 

KAYLA: I’m sure

SARAH: And it was pouring rain and like they didn't get to see their performances really

KAYLA: Well, yeah, because if you're standing at one part of the Seine 

SARAH: Right

KAYLA: You're not going to see everything

SARAH: Right 

KAYLA: Like… 

SARAH: It's like watching a parade but worse 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Anyway 

KAYLA: That's also not necessarily I feel like about the people that are there physically 

SARAH: Yeah, and people were like, “I spent so much money for it” and I was like, “well, that's your first money you’ve spent there.”

KAYLA: You shouldn't have done that you shouldn’t have done that. Yes, anyway, so there was these three people, two men and a woman in a library and they were all like sitting at desks reading their books and they would like take a book off the shelf and it would like show the title, there'd be something about love and they all kept like looking at each other and immediately I was like, “this is gay” immediately, I was like, “excuse me”

SARAH: What were the gender expressions of the people in question? I can't remember 

KAYLA: There was two masculine people and one feminine person 

SARAH: Okay

KAYLA: I guess one person was a bit more androgynous 

SARAH: Either way 

KAYLA: But that's…  I would say, like I read it as two men and a woman 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: And then they like… what started running through the library and they were like throwing pages off of the tall like the balcony, a beautiful library by the way, and they were running around and frolicking and then they like put their coats on and they ran out into the street and they were just like having a lovely time

SARAH: Yuhuuuu 

KAYLA: And then they went into another building and they were running up the spiral staircase and being… and frolicking and then they like stopped in front of a window and were kind of like getting all close to each other and it was like, “aww”  

SARAH: Aww

KAYLA: And then they went up the stairs more and into a bedroom and they didn't, no one kissed, unfortunately, but they got like, you know, really close to the faces

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And did the whole thing 

SARAH: It was implied 

KAYLA: And they were all doing it, and then the part… the one person was like, “ah ah ah” to the camera and shut the door 

SARAH: The drama 

KAYLA: I was shocked 

SARAH: Gay, poly, gay, poly  

KAYLA: It was… yeah. I mean just like I was very pleasantly surprised by that scene and then the amount of like drag queens in everything, I got a guess, thinking about it, maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised because it's all very French 

SARAH: It’s all very French. Yeah, my… so, my sister texted me and she was like, “as an aspec what are your thoughts on the…” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: “The opening ceremony threesome?” and like my response was literally just like, “it's very French” like it’s all… 

KAYLA: It's very French. I mean it makes sense though like there's a like a word in French for a threesome 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: You know? 

SARAH: Well, there's one in English too, it's threesome 

KAYLA: Threesome, I know, but like, you know?

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Like it's their thing 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: And like not to get crude but there's like the Eiffel Tower 

SARAH: I was literally just thinking that

KAYLA: So, it's like… you know? 

SARAH: Yeah, and it's like… they weren't being… I feel like it was just like a representation of a way to live your life and I liked the fact that it was outside of what we would consider the norm

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And I think that is good even if it is… even if it is like, “oh, like this is very romantic sexually” I'm like…

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Yeah. So is everything else like it's not… it's not special, like it's… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like at least it's breaking other norms and is a fun time. Also, it's an accurate representation of like something that matters to a lot of people, so 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like it's just French 

KAYLA: I would also say… like it very much so did not feel like it was two men going after a woman 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Like it very much… 

SARAH: It was a group activity 

KAYLA: Everyone in the situation was queer, like very queer coded, and so to me that felt… like it wasn't like a weird thing of like, you know, the male gaze or whatever

SARAH: Yeah, it wasn't predatory, it wasn't 

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Yeah, and like they were… the outfits they were wearing were like all very rainbow and colorful not like overtly, like in a tasteful… very French 

SARAH: Right, they were just styled… 

KAYLA: It was all very French 

SARAH: Styled in a way that included many colors 

KAYLA: Yes, um, so I was very happy about it, like it never crossed my mind to like think of it from like an aspec perspective in a way of like being disappointed by like the sexuality of it

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: I was just like shocked and then also very pleased by the representation because it was on worldwide television 

SARAH: Yeah, exactly 

KAYLA: I mean, I guess I don't know how much other countries were showing maybe they really weren't…

SARAH: I'm sure there were some countries that censored it, but 

KAYLA: Yeah, I mean

SARAH: I heard I guess a thing with Jill Biden where afterwards she was like, “how are we going to beat this?” Because the next Summer Olympics is in LA in 2028

KAYLA: Yeah. I was trying to think about who the celebrities would be or like who the performers would be… 

SARAH: There were… it was also interesting they were talking on ‘Foreign Policy podcast’ today 

KAYLA: Oh

SARAH: They were talking about how it was interesting that the performers were… Celine Dion kind of make sense, kind of 

KAYLA: French-Canadian 

SARAH: Yeah, French-Canadian

KAYLA: Lady Gaga was… 

SARAH: Yes, they were like, they were really surprised that they brought in Lady Gaga because like the French seemed to be very much like, “no” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like, they have to be French, like it has to be our thing and then they brought in Lady Gaga who in addition to not being… in addition to being American is also not of… 

KAYLA: Not French

SARAH: Not of French descent as far as I'm aware, she's Italian, so 

KAYLA: We looked it up, she's not 

SARAH: Her name is Stefani 

KAYLA: Yeah, a very… I think we googled… she's very Italian. Dean googled, “Is Lady Gaga French?” and I think that was… I would love to see the Google peak on that search query 

SARAH: Yeah, Germanotta is her last name 

KAYLA: Oh, yeah. Lady Gaga was like the first performance of the whole thing and so she was like behind these like feathers and I was literally saying out loud, I was like, “oh, I wonder who this is going to be, like I don't really know any French performers,” so like I don't even know if I'm going to know who this is, and then they took the feathers away and I was like, “Lady Gaga” 

SARAH: Lady Gaga 

KAYLA: And I was like, I guess she like sings French like relatively often, but like… 

[00:30:00]

SARAH: Yeah, the main like… the big French song that I know is Papaoutai but Stromae who sings that is Belgian 

KAYLA: The biggest French artist I know with is Edith Piaf and she is long dead

SARAH: Mm

KAYLA: They just made us study her a lot in French class

SARAH: I encountered a song that I liked recently called, ‘Kité’ that is in French but it is by a French-Canadian 

KAYLA: I don’t know that one. They had a French rapper, I don't know if you saw that, but he looked like French Pitbull 

SARAH: Oh, I didn't know. Oh, it's giving me ‘Kite’ I don't want ‘Kite’ I want ‘Kité’ I'm looking up in my own Spotify 

KAYLA: Oh, my headphones 

SARAH: Oh, your headphones, it's by Aiza, A-I-Z-A

KAYLA: Sure 

SARAH: Anyway, sometimes I think about… here's a question for you 

KAYLA: Mm-hmm

SARAH: How many different languages do you have in your music library? And by that I mean…

KAYLA: Oh 

SARAH: It has to be at least like 90% of the songs in that language 

KAYLA: Uh, English and maybe like two K-pop songs, two Korean songs 

SARAH: And a lot of K-pop songs aren't at that 90% threshold to be honest 

KAYLA: Yeah, probably, honestly yeah, I think you got it, probably not. So, yeah I don't know I like don't listen to a lot of foreign language music. 

SARAH: I've got English, I've got Korean, I've got Japanese, I've got German, Italian, Spanish, French, Romanian 

KAYLA: Oh, she’s so… 

SARAH: I don’t know, it’s Dragostea Din Tei, it's the… 

KAYLA: I don’t know that one 

SARAH: You wouldn't… you wouldn't, hold on, please hold 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: Please hold. I'm going to play the song to you and you're going to be like, “oh, what the hell?”

KAYLA: Does British count? 

SARAH: No

KAYLA: Just got to check 

SARAH: Oh, I have to play it off my phone because otherwise you won't be able to hear it, it's not Dragoste, it's Dragostea Din Tei

KAYLA: Oh

SARAH: It’s this song [Plays Dragostea Din Tei]

KAYLA: Oh, yeah, I do know that song 

SARAH: It's in Romanian 

KAYLA: I did not know that 

SARAH: Oh, Swedish 

KAYLA: Mm-hmm 

SARAH: I think that covers most of it

KAYLA: I used to listen to more French music when I was studying French and I like French, like pop music, I just, I'm out of it, you know?

SARAH: Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that 

KAYLA: Thank you 

SARAH: I can suggest an Italian song to you 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: It's by the people who did the cover of this song 

KAYLA: Oh, yeah, I love those people 

SARAH: You know the song? 

KAYLA: Yeah, I love that song 

SARAH: And then they did a cover of it and then it went viral on TikTok and people were like, “oh my God, I love this song” and I was like, “I hope y'all know this is a cover” 

KAYLA: Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about 

SARAH: It's um… I'm struggling 

KAYLA: I can tell 

SARAH: Maneskin, that is the name of the band 

KAYLA: Okay, that means nothing to me 

SARAH: ‘Beggin,’ the song is ‘Beggin’ 

KAYLA: Oh 

SARAH: I'm begging, begging youuuu

KAYLA: People didn't know it was a cover? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I thought we had all heard the original 

SARAH: Anyway, we have… they have a song called Moriro da Re, it's good 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: That's my song rec for you  

KAYLA: Thank you 

SARAH: You’re welcome 

KAYLA: Did you watch the TikTok I sent you? 

SARAH: I haven't yet, I was… 

KAYLA: That I said was mandatory 

SARAH: I was busy working and then I came home and then I am podding now 

KAYLA: But I said it was mandatory 

SARAH: Well, you didn't say it was mandatory before I podded 

KAYLA: Anyway, how's your brat summer going? 

SARAH: Here's the thing… I… okay, I have not listened to brat by Charlie XCX in full 

KAYLA: I've only listened to a couple of songs 

SARAH: I've not even listened to it in part, I don't think it's my style 

KAYLA: Here's the problem… 

SARAH: The Apple song I think is maybe okay 

KAYLA: I like the Apple song. I started listening to the album but it is not the kind of music that I can listen to casually very often, like if it came on in the club, I would be like ‘woooo’

SARAH: Bumpin that shit 

KAYLA: But it's not the type of music I just like listen to day to day 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: But I have liked hearing the songs, like on TikTok I hear them a lot and I'm like, “wooo…”

SARAH: I listened to the ‘Girl, so confusing’ song because like she did the version with just herself and then the version with Lorde because it was about Lorde and she didn't tell Lorde about it until like the day before it came out and Lorde was like, “I want to be on this song.” So, did a version of the song with both of them, I don't really like it very much. 

KAYLA: Uh-oh 

SARAH: It's very it's a very narrative song and it's a very narratively interesting song like it literally tells a story about like their relationship and then like in Lorde's verse she's like, she talks about when Charlie sent her the message being like, “hey, I wrote a song about you, it's coming out tomorrow” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Um but it's just… I don't… I don't… I… like I don't want to listen to it 

KAYLA: It’s not your vibe? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Like I can acknowledge and recognize that it's like… it's like good art but I'm just not 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: You know? It's not for me 

KAYLA: It’s not your vibe, I feel that. Yeah, I would say it's not like the type of music I generally listen to but I have enjoyed hearing it around and I like the culture surrounding it 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I enjoy the brat culture, I enjoy the brat remixes, specifically those with the coconut tree

SARAH: Coconut, yeah. I was really impressed with how fast Kamala's team slash the team formerly known as Biden's team 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Just quickly pivoted to brat summer so fast 

KAYLA: Yeah, Kamala HQ is putting the work in 

SARAH: Oh, yeah, and it was wild because from what I understand when Biden dropped out pretty much no one knew, like… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like the… like even people very close to him only four of them maybe knew 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Because they didn't want it to go wide and get leaked like he wanted to be the one to release it so as a result they couldn't tell anyone and so like even people who were high up in his administration like didn't know 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And so, I'm like clearly Kamala knew because… 

KAYLA: I mean she had to have 

SARAH: Like she had to be like, “hey, yes I'm going to run.” Like otherwise… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Otherwise, it would have been weird if he'd like endorsed her and then she'd been like, “actually, I don't want to” 

KAYLA: “I don't want to do it,” yeah 

SARAH: But like how far in advance did she know? Could she even tell her staff because they were keeping it so hush-hush 

KAYLA: Yeah, how… I mean maybe like one or two very high up people on her staff but like… 

SARAH: Hold on, wait, I saw an interview with Doug Emhoff where he… 

KAYLA: Yes, he was cycling with the gays

SARAH: He was cycling with the gays in WeHo when the announcement came out 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And then he got back to his phone finally and was like had a billion messages and calls and whatever and Kamala was like, “dude, I need you right now” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Does that mean that they didn't know? 

KAYLA: I mean, he certainly didn't know 

SARAH: She would tell him, that's her husband 

KAYLA: I mean, maybe it like wasn't a certainty, maybe it was like, “hey, this might happen” or like maybe Biden told her like…

SARAH: Maybe Kamala got 15-minutes notice, like… 

KAYLA: I don’t know 

SARAH: Because they wrote… they wrote his statement Saturday night, the night before 

KAYLA: Yeah, my guess is that she was given the information that it might happen and to like prepare if it does happen but was not given any like certainty… 

SARAH: Or any like timeline or anything 

KAYLA: Yeah. I almost wonder if the reason that her like especially social media campaign has been going so well is because there was not a lot of planning 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: And because it is so reliant on just like current events and current memes that like that is what's giving it success 

SARAH: They were talking about that on… it may have been ‘Pod Save America’ it may have been ‘Pod Save the World’ either way it was a wonky political podcast by… Tommy Vietor was involved, that's all I can say, um 

KAYLA: Sure 

SARAH: They were talking about how… the fact that they've had to bring everything together so quickly like they are shocked at how successful it has been, like they… like no one could have expected that it would have gone this well for her 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And they were saying that like, you know, usually you message test everything, you spend months testing the exact like phrasing and the exact everything and they obviously don't have time to do that so they're just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks and as a result they have more freedom to be a little silly and now they have the entire Democratic Party referring to Trump as ‘weird,’ like we went from like, real hoity toity bitches being like, “no, I won't get rid of the filibuster” who are now being like, “dude, that guy is weird” 

KAYLA: Yeah, it also… it just feels so much more authentic 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Which is what our generation craves

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: Like if like my line of work has taught me nothing else it's that people are like sick of heavily curated like… 

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: Have like things that are that like tested and thought out and get together in that way because then you like don't actually know who the person is 

SARAH: Right 

KAYLA: But because they're just like doing whatever 

SARAH: Right

KAYLA: You can actually like see what's going on 

SARAH: And because… well, and the right is trying to be like, “oh, she cackles, she laughs” and people are like, “yeah, she's a genuine…” like, “she's a genuine person” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

[00:40:00]

SARAH: Like if she says something you believe her, like have you seen those videos of her talking about food? 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: Just like various videos… there was one where she was… it’s from a couple of years ago, she was like waiting, she had to go like on an interview in like one minute and she was like, kind of like backstage about to go, but she was talking to someone behind the camera and they were like, “you have one minute, you need to go” she was like, “wait, one minute” and then she's explaining how to prepare a turkey, like a whole turkey 

KAYLA: Oh

SARAH: And she's like, “you got to get the… you got to rub it all under the skin in the crevice” and then she's like… she was so serious about it, and the person was like, “dude, you need to go” and she was like, “no, let me finish this” 

KAYLA: No, no, no 

SARAH: And so she was like, was like, it's… like some time you can get some whatever, and then I saw a video recently that I think was from recently where like a kid asked her like what her… what her taco order was, like what her favorite tacos are, and she was like, “I really like carnitas” she's like, “sometimes I'll do like a fish taco but like I really like carnitas” and the kid was like, “me too” and she was like, “yeah, especially with some cilantro…” and something else and then she was like, “but no raw onion, I don't do raw onion, do you do raw onion?” and he was like, “no” and she was like, “yeah, I don't do raw onion”

KAYLA: Like a ten-year-old, “do you do raw onion?” Oh, it’s so fun

SARAH: And it's just like… she's like a genuine person and like is she responsible for a lot of shit that I don't feel nice about? Yeah 

KAYLA: Yeah, yes

SARAH: But at least I feel like she's reachable 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: In a way that Biden didn’t feel reachable towards the ends there 

KAYLA: It feels… no, definitely, probably, yeah, no, just like very unrelatable, it reminds me just like a lot of Obama's presidency where there like is the availability to have some levity but also like…

SARAH: Well, and the podcast Bros were saying that like this is the first time that they have seen this kind of enthusiasm from… 

KAYLA: Oh, yeah

SARAH: The voters since 2008 

KAYLA: Oh, yeah, definitely, especially young voters too, like it… so much of it is young voters who were like not activated at all 

SARAH: Yeah. And now they're like, shit they got Megan the Stallion fucking twerking…

KAYLA: I know, it’s so crazy, the memes brother 

SARAH: I saw a thing that was like, dude, why… because like that was at an indoor like arena like stadium… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And they're like, it looks so impressive like having this whole thing full like why doesn't Trump do indoor events also because it's probably less likely that he'll get shot in the ear? But someone was like, “he doesn't do indoor events because he can't” and they were like, “what do you mean he can't?” and they were like, he owes so much money, he did a bunch of indoor events before 2020…

KAYLA: Oh 

SARAH: Before 2020, before… like in while… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: While he was running and never paid his bills

KAYLA: Ah 

SARAH: And so, no one will take him

KAYLA: That is… 

SARAH: And someone showed a map of all of the venues that he owes money to and how much he owes to them and one of them was like $5,000 in Vermont but then it's like $400,000 in El Paso like… 

KAYLA: Yeah, brother 

SARAH: They won't take him. So… 

KAYLA: He has to just go to a park 

SARAH: So, he has to get like random farmers to be like, “yeah, you can use my land”

KAYLA: Cringe, weird 

SARAH: Remember the ‘Four Seasons Landscaping’? 

KAYLA: I was literally just thinking about that, the ‘Four Seasons Landscaping’ I don't think we talk about it enough 

SARAH: The thing about the Trump era which I hope ends soon and I hope we kind of put behind us, and I'm not confident but I hope 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Is we're going to look back on this and be like, “that was a fucking fever dream” 

KAYLA: It was weird 

SARAH: It was weird. Like these poor children are going to have to read about it in their history books and be like, “first of all, how the fuck did you let this happen?” 

KAYLA: I know 

SARAH: And we'll just be like, “girl.”  But also, they're going to be like, “what the fuck?” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Like the shit, the unhinged shit because on fucking ‘Veep’ like for their last season they were like they were struggling to come up with things to do on the show because real-life politics had gotten so absurd that they couldn't top it 

KAYLA: Yeah, you know what I think is going to happen? 

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: Like years and years and years from now Trump is going to be our version of Taft where we're like, “oh, yeah that fucking guy that got stuck in the bathtub? what a loser”

SARAH: Yeah, I mean Taft is literally just known for being the fattest president and getting stuck in a bathtub 

KAYLA: Right, like that is what I hope happens for Trump 

SARAH: I hope… I mean… 

KAYLA: I don't think it's likely, I think he's done a little bit too much damage 

SARAH: He has done too much damage, yeah 

KAYLA: But I hope that like a very long time from now he's like just that weird guy 

SARAH: I hope he continues to be a joke for all eternity 

KAYLA: Me too

SARAH: Same with fucking Elon Musk 

KAYLA: Brother 

SARAH: A piece of shit. Anyway, do we have anything else we want to talk about? Is there anything aspec-related that we should touch on? 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: Great. Well, what is our… oh, no, we have to do a poll. 

KAYLA: Mm, what did you get up to during the break? 

SARAH: What did you do during the break? Um, I will say as many of you know me and Kayla call each other when famous people die 

KAYLA: Oh, yeah 

SARAH: And we don't ever call each other unsolicited otherwise 

KAYLA: But recently I think I… well, recently I opened it up to major world events 

SARAH: Yeah, so… 

KAYLA: Because it felt necessary 

SARAH: So, Kayla has been really outdoing me on the announcing of…

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: This stuff. Um, so whenever she calls me, I always pick up and I say, “who died?” 

KAYLA: “Who died?” Because it's the only reason I would call you unsolicited 

SARAH: Yep, and Kayla was like, “okay, well, they didn't die but…” And I was like, “what?” and she was like… she was like, “Trump got shot” and I was like, “what?” you… you… it had happened like five minutes earlier, like you were on top of it

KAYLA: What's crazy is the reason I knew about it that fast is because my roommate Jared saw it on Twitter seconds after it happened. So early that we could not find a verifiable news source that was confirming it. So, like I did not believe him at first because I could not find anything verifiable 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: So, like articles were just starting to get published when I called you 

SARAH: Right 

KAYLA: So, I felt very excited about that one 

SARAH: Yeah, and I was like, “yeah, that's a good reason to call.” And then you called me again because someone died 

KAYLA: Richard Simmons 

SARAH: Yeah, there were three calls in like a week 

KAYLA: Yeah, Richard Simmons died and then…

SARAH: And then I was like, “oh, I should have called you when…” what's-her-face from… I forgot the name of it again, the… movie 

KAYLA: It was a scary movie, yeah, the scary one

SARAH: With the twins? 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: The Shining

KAYLA: The Shining, yes

SARAH: I was like, “oh, I should have called you when she died but I didn't think of it” 

KAYLA: Yeah, and then I think I called you when Biden dropped out 

SARAH: Yes. So, the funny thing is I was… I don't know what… I think I was like playing phone games 

KAYLA: Probably 

SARAH: And I saw that I had gotten a text from my sister that was a photo and I was like, “oh, I'm in the middle of playing my phone games, I will…” 

KAYLA: It will wait a little bit 

SARAH: “I will open that later” and so I ignored it, and then like two minutes later I get a call from Kayla and she… and I was like, “who died?” and she was like, “no one died, but Biden dropped out” and I was like, “holy shit” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And then a little bit later I went back and I looked at my text messages and what my sister had sent me a photo of was Biden's letter 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And she had actually also sent me another text before that but like I just didn't see… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: The notification for that one

KAYLA: So, I won 

SARAH: So, like she time-wise she told me first but I did not see it 

KAYLA: You got to be better than that, you got to call

SARAH: I told her that, I was like, “listen, you got… it got to be by the phone call, sorry” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Where were you when Donald Trump got shot? 

KAYLA: When Donald Trump got shot I think I was in the bathroom because then I heard yelling downstairs and I was like, “what's going on?” When Biden dropped out I think I was in my living room 

SARAH: I was in the bathroom when Biden dropped 

KAYLA: Crazy 

SARAH: Anyway, our poll is… 

KAYLA: Where were you? 

SARAH: What's…

KAYLA: What’s up? 

SARAH: Um, there have also been a lot of other like major events just in the world but… 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: We're Americans and we're very self-absorbed, hehe 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Um, okay, uh, Kayla what's your beef and your juice for this week? For this month? 

KAYLA: For this whole month, wow, my beef is I had a migraine last night 

SARAH: Ew

KAYLA: And I went to bed and I was really hoping to sleep it off and I woke up I still had a headache and I couldn't figure out why I had a headache so I was like, I drank my normal amount of water, I ate my food, it like wasn't too hot, so I was very confused and then it rained today 

SARAH: Ah 

KAYLA: And I realized that it was just super humid 

SARAH: It was humid 

KAYLA: And that the rain broke it and then it was fine, so, yeah 

SARAH: I hate that the world can do that to you 

KAYLA: I know and I didn't even think of it until one of my co-workers was like, “oh, yeah, I've had a headache for like two days” and I was like, “oh, that’s why”

SARAH: It’s crazy that you can get a headache and it’s like a meteorologist 

KAYLA: Literally it’s upsetting, it's so upsetting 

SARAH: Ugh 

KAYLA: So, that's my beef, my juice is I've been doing my annual reread of Pride and Prejudice, oh because I got a new tattoo over the break 

SARAH: Yes, my… I emailed my tattoo guy like a week and a half ago and he still hasn't answered so I followed up yesterday 

KAYLA: Bitch 

[00:50:00]

SARAH: Anyway

KAYLA: Anyway. My new tattoo is the like hand-holding scene from Pride and Prejudice 

SARAH: I see it 

KAYLA: So, I decided to do my annual reread of Pride and Prejudice and man, what a good book 

SARAH: What a grand time, I love that for you 

KAYLA: Thank you 

SARAH: My beef is… getting mad at the women's volleyball players who were wearing leggings 

KAYLA: Brother, it's cold outside, it was cold 

SARAH: I turned on the TV over the weekend and I was like, “oh, look women's beach volleyball, USA versus Canada, sure I'll take a looky and I saw that both Team USA and Team Canada were wearing leggings, like they were wearing like the normal like sports bra top thing and then leggings and I was like… And I immediately texted my mom because my mom always complains about how like their uniforms are them just being naked, like why is… 

KAYLA: I feel that way about track too, I don't understand why the men get to wear full shorts and the women have to wear bikinis, I don't understand it 

SARAH: Yeah, why don't the men wear bikinis? 

KAYLA: I just feel like the chafing, brother, the chafing 

SARAH: Yeah, and it's like look if that's what you want to wear, great, but like the fact that those are like the team uniforms 

KAYLA: You shouldn't have to, right, there should be options if nothing else…

SARAH: They do have more options now… 

KAYLA: Like… 

SARAH: They do 

KAYLA: Good 

SARAH: But anyway, then so I texted my mom, I was like, “both teams are wearing leggings, like you'll be pleased to hear.” But then there were a bunch of men online who were mad that they were wearing leggings because they couldn't objectify them as much as they wanted to, but also the other thing is it like leggings are skin tight 

KAYLA: It's the same 

SARAH: So, you basically see the same thing just without seeing the skin and I understand why it feels different but objectively is it really that different? 

KAYLA: If anything, leggings are more revealing because they are so tight 

SARAH: They give you more butt 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH: Yeah, I don't know ma'am. My juice is in the past month I have gotten very into Seventeen, it's dangerous, it's the K-pop group that I got into, I have landed on my bias line… 

KAYLA: Hi, everyone, Sarah not did take my advice 

SARAH: It was a while ago I just forgot to update you, my bias is Seungkwan, my bias line is Seungkwan, Mingyu, Jeonghan, S. Coups and Joshua. S. Coups was a real dark horse I didn't expect him to land there but he did, they're going on tour in the Fall before they have to start enlisting in the fucking military

KAYLA: Oh, you really got in at the wrong time, huh? Yikes 

SARAH: That's my juice, um, you can also tell us about your beef and your juice on your social media… on our social media @soundsfakepod, if you… if you like me are a carat uh tell me, carat, C-A-R-A-T, not a carrot, um, tell me who your bias is 

KAYLA: Can I tell you something? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Can I tell you something? And now this is aspec-related in a way 

SARAH: Oh, I love it 

KAYLA: Speaking of carrots, twice now in my…

SARAH: Twice?

KAYLA: Watching of the Olympics there has been a commercial about bent penis disease and the medication you can take to fix it…

SARAH: To unbend it 

KAYLA: And the visuals they are using are carrots, like full carrots, not baby carrots, full carrots that are bent a little bit or a lot of it, and they talk in very explicit language about the bent penis and the medicine and the penis stretches that you can do 

SARAH: Penis stretches? 

KAYLA: Exactly, and that's why… 

SARAH: Who studied this? Why… 

KAYLA: I said, “Jared what do you mean you can stretch your penis? Do you mean manually or can it do it on its own?” and he said, “both” 

SARAH: What? Hold on, wait, wait, wait 

KAYLA: I don't know if we've talked about this before but penises can move by themselves

SARAH: Can you like make… can you like think and make your…

KAYLA: You can make your penis do a move, not a lot, but they can

SARAH: Because here I was thinking that it was this weird semi-autonomous part of your body that you like couldn't really control which is… 

KAYLA: You can make it…

SARAH: Which is weird, first of all 

KAYLA: You can make it wiggle a little bit, I'm sorry 

SARAH: I don't… there's a lot of things I don't like about penises 

KAYLA: Yeah, same 

SARAH: And that's one of them 

KAYLA: And so, I just found it very… I didn't like the commercial, I did not like the visual of the commercial, I also didn't like how they always do the shot at the end, of like the man and the woman, the happy couple about to fuck, you know? 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Because his penis is better now

SARAH: If… because of bent penis are there like negative health outcomes? Or is it literally just essentially a cosmetic thing? 

KAYLA: So, what I learned when I was asking my roommate Jared about this because I was like, “what the actual fuck?” Because I was like, I knew that some people have bent penises, I was like, I know that's like not a rare thing 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: Like people have a curve in their pee-pee 

SARAH: Mm-hmm

KAYLA: And so, I was like, “who the fuck cares Jared? and he said, “as you get older there is a larger risk of it snapping”

SARAH: Sorry, for peaking the mic, I just was so amused by that 

KAYLA: He also said it can be uncomfortable for a sexual partner which makes sense if it's at a weird angle, it starts bumping into things I suppose. But yeah, it can just snap 

SARAH: Bumping and grinding the wrong way

KAYLA: Exactly 

SARAH: Or maybe a good way depending on… 

KAYLA: The duck penises that are all… 

SARAH: I will not ask you to elaborate and I will ask that you in fact please don't, um… 

KAYLA: Okay, so duck penises are corkscrew-shaped, yep

SARAH: Okay. Um, you can find us on social media and yell at Kayla about that @soundsfakepod 

KAYLA: I can't go through this all alone, someone else has to know

SARAH: We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod, if for some fucking reason you want to give us money, we actually got a lot of new patrons over the break, wild 

KAYLA: Thank you all so much 

SARAH: Um, sorry for this, uh, we can't believe you're giving us your money. Our new two $2 patrons are Aly and Angela and that's it

KAYLA: Yay 

SARAH: There were some people… there were some people that switched to $2 but they were already at another tier so I'm not going to say your names again

KAYLA: Upon reading this Sarah said, “I have an aunt Angela” and I said…

SARAH: No, I have a cousin Angela 

KAYLA: So sorry, so sorry 

SARAH: Um, thank you Aly and Angela, I don't think you're my cousin but thank you regardless 

KAYLA: Thank you anyway

SARAH: Our $5 patrons who we're promoting this week… well, first let's do the new one 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: Um, we have Katharina, this person has a German looking last name and um it's K-A-T-H-A-R-I-N-A and their payment was in euros, so, I strongly believe this person is from a German-speaking country

KAYLA: Okay, good to know 

SARAH: Which is why it's Katharina 

KAYLA: Okay, thank you 

SARAH: Um, also, we have Zimon, which, a similar situation, it's Simon 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: It's Simon 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: But… uh, Simon, first of all, wrote us a wonderful message, thank you 

KAYLA: Thank you 

SARAH: Um, and mentioned at the end that like, “oh, it's cool that Sarah speaks German” and I was like, “my God” 

KAYLA: Thank you, it is cool. 

SARAH: Danke Schoen. I was going to say more in German and then my brain just stopped 

KAYLA: Sure 

SARAH: So, Zimon, Simon, whatever, you know, whatever floats, everyone's boat here. Uh, and also Snordstorm

KAYLA: I love that

SARAH: It’s like… I assume… 

KAYLA: Like Nordstrom for snails?

SARAH: It's Nord… I just realized it's Nordstorm 

KAYLA: Oh

SARAH: See, I write it like Nordstrom, like with an S, like Nordstrom

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Which for those who don't know Nordstrom is like a… 

KAYLA: A department store 

SARAH: A department store in the United States 

KAYLA: And snort strom is that is snails 

SARAH: Is snails, yeah, I believe this is Snordstorm

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: Have you considered being snordstorm instead? 

KAYLA: What do you think? Give us your thoughts 

SARAH: Give us your thoughts, let us know. Um, our other $5 patrons we're promoting this week are Alex Istar and Alexander. Our $10 patrons, we have a new $10 patron who was actually already a patron but just switched… who bumped up to $10 

KAYLA: Wow 

SARAH: So, hello, um, I don't know what name to call you because your name on Patreon is different from the name that you emailed us with, so… and it's different from the name that we previously had. So, your Patreon name is Alastor, give us a little message or an email if that's the name you want us to use or if you want us to use what seems to be your government name.

KAYLA: the government name 

SARAH: Um, also I have this problem where I can't pronounce the word… the name Alastor, I had to make Kayla say it 

KAYLA: We had to practice, we practiced 

SARAH: For some reason my brain wants to put emphasis on the ‘tor’ I want to say like ‘store’ 

KAYLA: Yeah, you said that at first, and I was like, “what name is that?” And then I was like, “oh”

SARAH: Yeah. I can't do it right 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Um, so, there is that, just another $10 patron whose name I will be really self-conscious about…

KAYLA: Excellent 

SARAH: How I say it

KAYLA: It's rare that I say someone's name better than you. So, I'm really reveling in this moment 

SARAH: Yeah, but thank you Alastor slash name redacted. And then our other $10 patrons who are promoting something this week… oh, Alastor told us what they wanted to promote, they wanted to promote… 

KAYLA: Their own name. No 

SARAH:  ttrpg slash… it's the ttrpg slash Candela Obscura Podcast called ‘Shadows and Shenanigans’ 

KAYLA: Sounds fun 

[01:00:00]

SARAH:  So, hell yeah. Our other $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are SongOStorm who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance and Val who would like to promote um singing in the rain. Um, Lebron James fucking George Washingtoning, Team USA Paris opening ceremony 

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Um, that's… that's what Val would like to promote. Our other $10 patrons are Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Bones, Celina Dobson, David Harris, Derick & Carissa, Elle Bitter, My Aunt Jeannie, Kayla's Dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Parker, Purple Hayes, and the Barefoot Backpacker. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. My mouth is not working

KAYLA: We are out of practice folks, out of practice

SARAH: Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com, and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. I can't even read right now. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr Jacki who would like to promote being Dr Jacki, that's not how Dr Jacki told us she wanted to be promoted 

KAYLA: But that's how we are choosing to promote 

SARAH: That's how we interpreted your request

KAYLA: Yeah. And I think it's great 

SARAH: Um, and my mom and uh they… Dragonfly and my mom and fuck it Dr Jacki would like to promote taking your dog to a dog-friendly brewery

KAYLA: Mm

SARAH: Sadie went to a brewery today 

KAYLA: Oh, adult 

SARAH: Yeah. Um, thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears, and we will be more… I won't say more focused because, you know 

KAYLA: Who knows? We can’t promise such a thing

SARAH: But we will… we will have a topic

KAYLA: That we will

SARAH: We even… we even maybe have ideas 

KAYLA: Wow

SARAH: Whoooo. In your ears. What? 

KAYLA: Bye 

SARAH: Cows? 

KAYLA: Cows.

SARAH: Hi 

KAYLA: We're back 

SARAH: We just came back, we stopped our… stopped our audio and realized that we once again forgot to mention that we forgot our birthday 

KAYLA: It was our birthday in July, I think it's our seventh 

SARAH: We were…

KAYLA: We’re seven now?

SARAH: We're seven

KAYLA: We forgot 

SARAH: You know, the fact… the fact that our birthday is when our summer break usually is really… 

KAYLA: Is not great

SARAH: Kind of fucks us 

KAYLA: We did not think that through 

SARAH: Um, but anyway, happy birthday pod, you're seven, you are in… what grade?  First grade? Second grade?

KAYLA: Second 

SARAH: I hope you have a good school year

KAYLA: Mm-hmm, maybe we'll remember you next year, probably not

SARAH: Yep, probably not, but we'll try. Um, thanks bye.

[END OF TRANSCRIPT] 

Sounds Fake But Okay