Ep 310: Yapping
Transcription Details
Client Name: Sounds Fake But Okay Podcast
Date: August, 04, 2024
Speakers in the Audio File
Speaker 1: Sarah
Speaker 2: Kayla
Episode 310: Yapping
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just… Everything? Anything? It doesn't matter, we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, yapping
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
SARAH: What is it? Is it anything? Everything, anything…
KAYLA: I don't… I’m not the one… this
SARAH: Anything, it's anything, it's anything
KAYLA: This is the conversation we have every time…
SARAH: It's because the book is different
KAYLA: It's not actually
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: Yeah, we say this every… you say that every time and it's not, you've Berenstain Bearsed your own book
SARAH: Oh my God, I've Berenstain Bearsed myself. I’ve Berenstain Berenst…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Anyway, welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: Hello
SARAH: Hello, how was everyone was summer break? It was very eventful in America
KAYLA: Yeah, we…
SARAH: What happened?
KAYLA: A lot happened. I feel like this felt like the longest break we had ever taken
SARAH: It did
KAYLA: I don't know if it's because it was like a clean month
SARAH: Last week, I was like, “wait, do we have to pod this week?” and then I looked at the calendar and I was like, “no”
KAYLA: No. I know, this felt like the longest one we had ever done
SARAH: Wild
KAYLA: Wild times
SARAH: Anyway, how's everyone? I hope you've been good
KAYLA: I also hope that
SARAH: Has anyone done anything fun?
KAYLA: Um. I…
SARAH: I was asking the listeners
KAYLA: Oh, okay, sorry, I'll be silent
SARAH: Mm, that's really fun, I'm so glad to hear that
KAYLA: Wow, that's really cool
SARAH: Okay, Kayla did you do anything fun?
KAYLA: Okay, I went on a boat
SARAH: I'm on a boat, I’m on a boat
KAYLA: We played that, we played that on the boat, for Dean's birthday he wanted to go in a boat and in the Boston Harbor they let you rent…
SARAH: Dumpty?
KAYLA: Huh?
SARAH: Dumpty?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Oh, we should have done that
KAYLA: No, they have these like electric boats that go like six miles an hour
SARAH: It’s electric, boogie, boogie, boogie
KAYLA: Yes. And so, they let you drive it by yourself even if you don't have a boating license, which is crazy to me, like the insurance policies they have must be crazy.
SARAH: I'm like, that's not like a lake, that's like the ocean
KAYLA: It is, but it's just like you can't leave the harbor, it's just the harbor
SARAH: Yeah, but still
KAYLA: And it's very slow and it's an electric boat, not gas, so it's like not that big a deal but still, yeah
SARAH: What if the ocean eats you?
KAYLA: That's fair, but we also had several people on the boat who had driven boats before so it was fine. Um, but I went on a boat, I started physical therapy for my new chronic back issues
SARAH: Yeaaahhhh
KAYLA: Yeaaahhhh. So exciting, I had PT today. They keep making me do ab shit
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I hate that
SARAH: I'm sorry to hear that, do they do… they do anything fun? Did they give you the bzzz bzzz, bzzz?
KAYLA: No, there's nothing fun
SARAH: Ugh
KAYLA: It's not, not fun at all
SARAH: Girl, when I had to do physical therapy for my wrist after I got surgery on it, one of the things they had me do was to stick my arm in this thing that had a bunch of corn husks, corn in it, and it would go…
KAYLA: What the fuck? For what?
SARAH: And there was this scientific reason, it worked
KAYLA: Corn husks!
SARAH: It was like… it was like… not like… not like the husk husk but it was like ground up, it was like little tiny…
KAYLA: Okay, yeah
SARAH: And it would just like hurricane around in there, with my hand in there
KAYLA: Like a money machine?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: What was the science?
SARAH: I don't know, I don't even know what it was supposed to do
KAYLA: But did it work?
SARAH: Well, I don't know, because I don't know what it was supposed to do
KAYLA: Okay, but you just said to me when you started this it’s scientific, it works
SARAH: I didn't think it works. Well, they wouldn't have made me do it, it was a physical therapy, it wasn't like voodoo magic science house
KAYLA: See, you say that but then you look back in history at medical things that were done and you say that's not real but those people are probably saying the same thing back time when they were letting blood and such
SARAH: Fluidotherapy machine is the device filled with finely ground corn husks heated up to a hundred and twenty degrees and blown electronically, a patient can insert both hands for a set amount of time to work tendons and relieve numbness or tingling suffered from crush injuries or nerve damage
KAYLA: How does it work though? Why corn husks?
SARAH: It increases circulation and range of motion and it is believed to help with pain, edema, and muscle spasms caused by musculoskeletal disorders, it can also help with desensitization and increase collagen tissue extensibility
KAYLA: The like circulating hot air makes sense to me, it's the corn husks that are confusing me, because like I can understand how circulating warm air would promote those things but like is the corn husk like a conductor of heat?
SARAH: It's like a little… it's like little sand but like less harsh
KAYLA: I guess that makes sense
SARAH: Fluidotherapy, how?
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: It forces heated air through small particles creating a buoyant environment that massages the injured area
KAYLA: Mm, so, it's like exfoliation?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Soft
SARAH: And the process of transferring heat through the forced movement of air and particles, it's called forced convection, so it does like heat you
KAYLA: Huh. Well, no, nothing like that
SARAH: It's crazy that they call it fluidotherapy when there are no fluids involved
KAYLA: It’s not fluid, they should call it cornido, corneido, they should call it corneido
SARAH: Corneido, that’s what it’s like, anyway
KAYLA: They should really do that. Yeah, no, it's not fun we're doing things to fix my posture because it’s bad
SARAH: Do they give you homework or do you just do exercises at PT?
KAYLA: I have homework, I go to PT twice a week
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: And then I have homework and…
SARAH: What's wrong with you again? Tell the kids
KAYLA: Oh, yeah what's wrong with me is the best theory which I believe because it's what I theorized and then my physical therapist also said it independently of me so I was like, yeah
SARAH: I’m a genius
KAYLA: Yeah. I was like yeah, is piriformis sciatica
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, there is a muscle deep in your booty
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: One in each cheek
SARAH: One in each booty
KAYLA: One in each booty, and it's a butt muscle and…
SARAH: It's a butt
KAYLA: It’s a butt, and it's like really deep in there and it's right up against your sciatic nerve which goes from your lower back down through the backs of your legs
SARAH: Ass too fat?
KAYLA: Ass too fat? Well, more like back too squiggly because the… so my piriformis muscle got like two tense because I have very flat feet and scoliosis so certain parts of my body overcompensate and work harder than they should
SARAH: You have a very distinct walk
KAYLA: Yeah, thank you, it's the scoliosis and the very flat feet
SARAH: You're welcome
KAYLA: Thank you, so, anyway basically my piriformis muscles got like very tight and were like jutting up against the sciatic nerve and causing nerve pain and back hurt and butt hurt
SARAH: In conclusion let's just say, ass too fat
KAYLA: Ass too fat, so, yeah, I've been doing a lot of ass exercises which is…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I was saying to the members of my household the other day that it's funny that like my ass is so fat and beautiful and yet it is my downfall at this time
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, that's tough
KAYLA: My juicy, juicy, cheeks
SARAH: Juicy, juicy, juicy cheeks, ass too fat
KAYLA: Ass too fat disease, yep
SARAH: As y'all may have noticed, we're not actually really talking about anything this week
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, no
SARAH: This is just a yappathon
KAYLA: Yeah, there is no theme, just a welcome back, just a little catch up
SARAH: We do have… we do have one question
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: That we will be addressing
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But other than that it’s just ass too fat
KAYLA: It’s just ass too fat vibes
SARAH: Did I do anything interesting?
KAYLA: Yeah, what's going on with your ass?
SARAH: My ass is fine, um, I've been… I've decided I have to get very swole so I can throw all of my K-pop bias wreckers across the room
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: That's the goal
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: So, I have been doing more lifting of weights that are heavier
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And surprisingly my wrist has been okay about it
KAYLA: That's good
SARAH: Shout out to my wrist for being a fucking bitch but…
KAYLA: Well
SARAH: Maybe that corn husks, maybe those corn husks, the long-term benefit
KAYLA: All those years ago, yeah, really, they really did something. Next time I see you I'm just going to kind of like whip around some corn husks at you
SARAH: Okay, cool
KAYLA: Make your air drier
SARAH: It’s corn season in Michigan and I'm not there for it
KAYLA: Is it really?
SARAH: I love… it's the very beginning of corn season
KAYLA: Okay, I was thinking of corn season more as the fall
SARAH: It's like August, is really like peak corn season
KAYLA: I’m not a big corn guy
SARAH: Fuck you, my sister is not either, she's allergic
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: I fear… she is allergic to corn. I fear… like when corn is prepared well, I like it, I fear that I just like don't really like a corn on the cob
SARAH: What is wrong with you? That's the best kind
KAYLA: I like it in elote
SARAH: You put butter on it, you put salt on it
KAYLA: It's not enough for some reason
SARAH: I love corn season
KAYLA: Yeah, I don’t know. I just… also, like the effort it takes to eat a corn on the cob is not worth it to me
SARAH: Maybe you've gotten bad corn on the cob, maybe…
KAYLA: I mean, maybe, it's just so much effort to eat a corn on cob
SARAH: You know, how if you get corn on the cob at like a… not an airport, at a restaurant how sometimes the corn kernels are like kind of concave? Like no, no, no, no, no, none of that
KAYLA: It's just… I just can't imagine a corn on the cob tasting good enough to be worth what a mess it is to eat
SARAH: My dad drives to, name redacted, local farm and he…
KAYLA: Yeah, but your dad be going places to get food
SARAH: And he gets their fresh corn and we shuck it ourselves, I was often… and I was always… often the corn shucker
KAYLA: I did shuck quite a corn back in my days as well
SARAH: And then you just… you boil that, you boil that little fella
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And then you put some butter and some salt, and oh, what a fucking delight, but it has to be in season otherwise it’s…
KAYLA: You know the other problem is the people around me like to put a corn on the grill
SARAH: No
KAYLA: And I don't really like much… I don't like a hot dog on the grill
SARAH: That's… well, that's wrong of you
KAYLA: I know you like a charred dog, but I like a boiled hot dog like a child eating Kraft dinner
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I'm going to Canada this weekend
SARAH: I'm not
KAYLA: And… okay. And we were discussing Canadian delicacies and I was like, “you guys, we have to get Kraft dinner” and no one around me knew about Kraft dinner, do you know about Kraft dinner?
SARAH: Like the same shit that we have?
KAYLA: Yeah, it's Kraft…
SARAH: And we add cheese?
KAYLA: Yeah, it’s Kraft mac and cheese, but they call it Kraft dinner and they love it
SARAH: So, it's not different at all than what you can get in the United States of America?
KAYLA: The box looks different like there's a brand that's called like KD
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: But I don't know if it's Kraft and they just have a different looking box
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: They put it… it's the same, it's Kraft mac and cheese but they call it Kraft dinner, KD, and they love it
SARAH: Oh, I was going to say…
KAYLA: And it's probably better
SARAH: Poutine
KAYLA: I don't, we want poutine, I really want to get Canadian KitKats because I've heard they're much better than our KitKats
SARAH: Oh, okay
KAYLA: Also, apparently their bagels are fucked up there, they have really big holes in the middle and they're quite flat
SARAH: That's weird, I mean I think bagels are fucked up pretty much everywhere that's not New York City
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like if that's your standard then nothing else is ever going to compare
KAYLA: But you should like… if you look…
SARAH: Where we're bagels invented?
KAYLA: I think somewhere Jewish
SARAH: I think somewhere Jewish
KAYLA: I'm not kidding
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I recently looked this up
SARAH: No, you're a hundred percent right, it's just it's funny that that was your response. It originated in the Jewish communities of Poland
KAYLA: Yes, let's go Pols
SARAH: Origin is in Germany and Poland. I never… I didn't really ever see bagels that much in Germany
KAYLA: I don't think of bagels as German
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think of them as being from Brooklyn
SARAH: I think of them as New York City, with that beloved, beloved New York City water. Bagels have been widely associated with Ashkenazi Jews since the 17th century, they're first mentioned in 1610 in Jewish community ordinances in Krakow, Poland
KAYLA: Yeah, let's go Pols, yeah. I don't think of bagels as Polish either, like you think of all the Polish food and you don't think about a bagel
SARAH: Oh, it's a Montreal style bagel. Yeah, that's just…
KAYLA: It's sad-looking
SARAH: It's wrong
KAYLA: And that's where we're going, it is Montreal
SARAH: Mm, French
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm having a very French summer…
SARAH: Franseur
KAYLA: With the Olympics and going…
SARAH: I don’t know why I just said a man's name, I said Franseur
KAYLA: Why would you ever say a man's name?
SARAH: So true. I was in a zoom today where they were discussing Montreal because one of the people in the zoom is from Montreal
KAYLA: How did they feel about that? Were they pretentious about their French-ness?
SARAH: No, it's the showrunner of Wild Cards, he's a delight
KAYLA: Oh, I love that, I am worried… so the reason we’re going to Canada is because we're going to a music festival in Quebec
SARAH: Quebec
KAYLA: And like all of their stuff is in French, like their Instagram, all of their stuff is in French and now I'm like, “I should have brushed up on my French”
SARAH: You should have
KAYLA: I took six years of French for nothing
SARAH: Parlez-vous français?
KAYLA: I think it was four years
SARAH: Parlez-vous français?
KAYLA: Oui un peu
SARAH: A si, a si, that’s Spanish
KAYLA: Yeah that’s… Nebraska?
SARAH: Shall we do the one thing that's somewhat relevant to this podcast?
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: Speaking of French
KAYLA: Exactly
SARAH: So, if you live under a rock or you're listening to this in the future and you don't have a good grasp on the timeline of when this is happening, um, it is the Paris Olympics right now
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And they had an opening ceremony, first of all…
KAYLA: What’d you think?
SARAH: US women's gymnastics team, sorry, I pivoted and you weren't aware of it, uh, kicked ass, we love them
KAYLA: Amazing, the drama…
SARAH: And they shaded MyKayla Skinner so much, and I love it
KAYLA: So, funny, I also love…
SARAH: And she deserves every bit of that shade
KAYLA: Yeah, she sucks, I also love that McKayla Maroney commented and was like oh I feel the need to apologize to clear my first name and I really appreciated that because…
SARAH: Some people were hating on her because they were mixing them up
KAYLA: B, originally, I thought it was her because…
SARAH: No, no, no
KAYLA: MyKayla Skinner is so irrelevant…
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: I didn’t remember who she was at first and so I thought immediately if McKayla Maroney, it's not…
SARAH: It's not the, ‘not impressed girl’
KAYLA: No, it's… yeah, it's the…
SARAH: I met McKayla Maroney, she signed our vault table
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: At gymnastics
KAYLA: Wow, anyway
SARAH: We love 2012 vault silver medalist, should have been gold, but she fell, but the fact that she still had silver with the fall
KAYLA: Huge
SARAH: Wild, the most beautiful M&R I've ever seen, we love her. MyKayla Skinner, MyKayla Skinner
KAYLA: Bitch
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Still pick me stinker
SARAH: She's mormon
KAYLA: Is she really?
SARAH: Yeah, she's Mormon, she's like married
KAYLA: Interesting, okay
SARAH: No, but like she got married, she got married like young
KAYLA: At 12?
SARAH: On the young side, yeah
KAYLA: A child bride
SARAH: She may have been married at the last Olympics
KAYLA: That's wild
SARAH: I mean, Simone Biles is married now
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: But Simone Biles is also 27 and it's her third Olympics
KAYLA: But I just don't know how I feel about her husband, I just can't get behind him, I'll be honest
SARAH: Yeah, like I'm glad that she loves him but…
KAYLA: You know, the thing that really bothers me is that he said at the beginning and will continue to talk about how he had like no idea how big she was and like didn't realize the kind of… Like there was some interview for this Olympics, so he was like, I had no idea what kind of pressure she was under and like all this stuff, and I was like, “how do you not know?” Like, “what rock do you live under?”
SARAH: I saw an interview recently, it wasn't from recently but I saw it recently where they were like, you know, in your household like do you ever have like the argument of like, “who is the better athlete?” and she was like, “yeah, when we got married we had to ban it” but… and so she was like, “well, you know, what we decided is that like we're both very good at like our particular sports.” And then I was looking in the comments, and they were like, “no, no, no, no, no, he's fine at his sport…”
KAYLA: No he’s like very average
SARAH: “You are the best gymnast to ever live, there is a difference”
KAYLA: Yeah, he's like not any… like respectfully
SARAH: And she said… she said that he did her workout and like died and then…
KAYLA: I'm sure
SARAH: She did his workout and she was fine
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean she's clearly a better athlete than him like he is exceptionally average at football
SARAH: For context, because I'm sure many of you won't have heard of this motherfucker , Simone Biles's husband is… he plays on the Chicago Bears as… some position
KAYLA: He was on the Packers, not anymore
SARAH: Um, does he actually play for the Chicago Bears?
KAYLA: I don’t…
SARAH: Or does he bench warm for them? I don't know
KAYLA: I don’t… I certainly don't think he's a starter
SARAH: Yeah, his name is Owens
KAYLA: He wasn't on my fantasy team
SARAH: His last name is Owens, I don’t know
KAYLA: Owens, yeah
SARAH: Anyway…
KAYLA: Anyway, what did you think overall of the opening ceremonies?
SARAH: I didn't really watch them, I saw the Marie Antoinette…
KAYLA: So…
SARAH: Metal thing, cool
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: Fun. I saw all of the conservatives freaking the fuck out about the drag queens and about the supposed Last Supper but…
KAYLA: It was not
SARAH: It was not the Last Supper, it was Dionysus
KAYLA: Dionysus, yeah
SARAH: I always… I have always… When I read Pretty Jackson, I read his name is Dionysus so in my head his name is Dionysus
KAYLA: Yeah, that's tough
SARAH: I'll never get past that, anyway
KAYLA: I watched all of the opening ceremonies live
SARAH: I did not
KAYLA: Because it was on a Friday and I work from home on Fridays so my household all of us were working from home that day and we just worked from the couch and watch them all the
SARAH: The only time I have watched live that didn't happen on a weekend was the women's team finals
KAYLA: Um, I really liked the opening ceremonies, I know some people are unhappy with it, but I thought it was very cool because they… everyone went down the river in their little boats, and they like interspersed the athlete parade with all the performances…
SARAH: I heard that they accidentally called South Korea North Korea
KAYLA: I also heard that, I didn't catch it as it was happening
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Maybe it was just in French
KAYLA: I don't remember but I did hear about it.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: Anyway, I liked the opening ceremonies, I talked to my family about it and my parents were like, “we didn't get it.” And I was like…
SARAH: That is France for you
KAYLA: I know, I was like, first of all, yes, it's very French, but also, second of all, I don't quite get what there is to get, it was just some fun skits
SARAH: Display…
KAYLA: Basically
SARAH: Celine Dion fucking ate that shit despite the fucking illness
KAYLA: Today, I saw a video that was like the first clip was her in an interview in June being like, “you're going to see me very soon, like I'm working so hard in recovery to come back,” and then it cut to her at the Olympics and I started to cry on the bus because I was like, “Oh, my God”
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: Literally when she came on the screen I screamed because I was just shocked, I was like so shocked and happy to see her there
SARAH: Yeah, I saw a tweet about how like the fact that she did that performance like it shouldn't be used as like inspiration porn and that's not the right phrase, there's a phrase
KAYLA: I get what you’re saying though
SARAH: Trauma porn? But not trauma, but like disability, just… I don't know, whatever it is the thing that I'm thinking of um…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like it was a whole thing of like, oh, like if… even if you're like terminally ill you can do things too
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And it's like, they were like, no, she actually… like doing that performance took a large toll on her body, like…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like the fact that she did that like she did it in spite of that and like you shouldn't…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: They were like, “oh my God, she's such an inspiration” and it's like, no she chose to do this in spite of what it would do to her
KAYLA: Yeah, it's not like she's walking away from it fine
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And like she has not performed live in four years, like that was four years of work to get to the point where she could do that and I wouldn't be surprised if she never performs again, like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: I don't remember what illness she has but it…
KAYLA: It's one of the like paralysis ones I think, it's called like Still-Face disorder or something, I think
SARAH: Anyway, why this came up
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Is because of the Paris threesome
KAYLA: The Paris threesome, so listen to this, if you didn't watch
SARAH: I just saw clips of it, what was the context of it in the opening ceremony?
KAYLA: Okay, yes, so the way that they did the opening ceremonies were basically like they had different sections that were different like themes
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, they had like, you know the Marie Antoinette one they had like a little… section they had like of the fashion section. So, it was basically like they would do a performance and then it would like coincided with a certain section of the river so like… and it were a certain monument or whatever so like at the Louvre they had like a section where like the segment was like the art came out of the paintings like died at the museum and then they were in the river and whatever. Anyway, so this part was about love or something and it was in… it was a pre-taped thing, it wasn't like a live performance but it was these three people in a library and they were like looking at each other, it is also interspersed with a live performance of these like acrobats on these very wiggly tall stilts and they had matching outfits…
SARAH: France
KAYLA: It was very French, okay, but it was cool though, because the music was all really cool and they would go between the like pre-taped thing and the live acrobats, it was fun
SARAH: I heard that for people who were watching… like who were like at the Seine like it was pretty disappointing because like they literally just saw the boats go by
KAYLA: I’m sure
SARAH: And it was pouring rain and like they didn't get to see their performances really
KAYLA: Well, yeah, because if you're standing at one part of the Seine
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: You're not going to see everything
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Like…
SARAH: It's like watching a parade but worse
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: That's also not necessarily I feel like about the people that are there physically
SARAH: Yeah, and people were like, “I spent so much money for it” and I was like, “well, that's your first money you’ve spent there.”
KAYLA: You shouldn't have done that you shouldn’t have done that. Yes, anyway, so there was these three people, two men and a woman in a library and they were all like sitting at desks reading their books and they would like take a book off the shelf and it would like show the title, there'd be something about love and they all kept like looking at each other and immediately I was like, “this is gay” immediately, I was like, “excuse me”
SARAH: What were the gender expressions of the people in question? I can't remember
KAYLA: There was two masculine people and one feminine person
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I guess one person was a bit more androgynous
SARAH: Either way
KAYLA: But that's… I would say, like I read it as two men and a woman
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: And then they like… what started running through the library and they were like throwing pages off of the tall like the balcony, a beautiful library by the way, and they were running around and frolicking and then they like put their coats on and they ran out into the street and they were just like having a lovely time
SARAH: Yuhuuuu
KAYLA: And then they went into another building and they were running up the spiral staircase and being… and frolicking and then they like stopped in front of a window and were kind of like getting all close to each other and it was like, “aww”
SARAH: Aww
KAYLA: And then they went up the stairs more and into a bedroom and they didn't, no one kissed, unfortunately, but they got like, you know, really close to the faces
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And did the whole thing
SARAH: It was implied
KAYLA: And they were all doing it, and then the part… the one person was like, “ah ah ah” to the camera and shut the door
SARAH: The drama
KAYLA: I was shocked
SARAH: Gay, poly, gay, poly
KAYLA: It was… yeah. I mean just like I was very pleasantly surprised by that scene and then the amount of like drag queens in everything, I got a guess, thinking about it, maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised because it's all very French
SARAH: It’s all very French. Yeah, my… so, my sister texted me and she was like, “as an aspec what are your thoughts on the…”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “The opening ceremony threesome?” and like my response was literally just like, “it's very French” like it’s all…
KAYLA: It's very French. I mean it makes sense though like there's a like a word in French for a threesome
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: Well, there's one in English too, it's threesome
KAYLA: Threesome, I know, but like, you know?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like it's their thing
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And like not to get crude but there's like the Eiffel Tower
SARAH: I was literally just thinking that
KAYLA: So, it's like… you know?
SARAH: Yeah, and it's like… they weren't being… I feel like it was just like a representation of a way to live your life and I liked the fact that it was outside of what we would consider the norm
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I think that is good even if it is… even if it is like, “oh, like this is very romantic sexually” I'm like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Yeah. So is everything else like it's not… it's not special, like it's…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like at least it's breaking other norms and is a fun time. Also, it's an accurate representation of like something that matters to a lot of people, so
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like it's just French
KAYLA: I would also say… like it very much so did not feel like it was two men going after a woman
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like it very much…
SARAH: It was a group activity
KAYLA: Everyone in the situation was queer, like very queer coded, and so to me that felt… like it wasn't like a weird thing of like, you know, the male gaze or whatever
SARAH: Yeah, it wasn't predatory, it wasn't
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, and like they were… the outfits they were wearing were like all very rainbow and colorful not like overtly, like in a tasteful… very French
SARAH: Right, they were just styled…
KAYLA: It was all very French
SARAH: Styled in a way that included many colors
KAYLA: Yes, um, so I was very happy about it, like it never crossed my mind to like think of it from like an aspec perspective in a way of like being disappointed by like the sexuality of it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I was just like shocked and then also very pleased by the representation because it was on worldwide television
SARAH: Yeah, exactly
KAYLA: I mean, I guess I don't know how much other countries were showing maybe they really weren't…
SARAH: I'm sure there were some countries that censored it, but
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean
SARAH: I heard I guess a thing with Jill Biden where afterwards she was like, “how are we going to beat this?” Because the next Summer Olympics is in LA in 2028
KAYLA: Yeah. I was trying to think about who the celebrities would be or like who the performers would be…
SARAH: There were… it was also interesting they were talking on ‘Foreign Policy podcast’ today
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: They were talking about how it was interesting that the performers were… Celine Dion kind of make sense, kind of
KAYLA: French-Canadian
SARAH: Yeah, French-Canadian
KAYLA: Lady Gaga was…
SARAH: Yes, they were like, they were really surprised that they brought in Lady Gaga because like the French seemed to be very much like, “no”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, they have to be French, like it has to be our thing and then they brought in Lady Gaga who in addition to not being… in addition to being American is also not of…
KAYLA: Not French
SARAH: Not of French descent as far as I'm aware, she's Italian, so
KAYLA: We looked it up, she's not
SARAH: Her name is Stefani
KAYLA: Yeah, a very… I think we googled… she's very Italian. Dean googled, “Is Lady Gaga French?” and I think that was… I would love to see the Google peak on that search query
SARAH: Yeah, Germanotta is her last name
KAYLA: Oh, yeah. Lady Gaga was like the first performance of the whole thing and so she was like behind these like feathers and I was literally saying out loud, I was like, “oh, I wonder who this is going to be, like I don't really know any French performers,” so like I don't even know if I'm going to know who this is, and then they took the feathers away and I was like, “Lady Gaga”
SARAH: Lady Gaga
KAYLA: And I was like, I guess she like sings French like relatively often, but like…
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Yeah, the main like… the big French song that I know is Papaoutai but Stromae who sings that is Belgian
KAYLA: The biggest French artist I know with is Edith Piaf and she is long dead
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: They just made us study her a lot in French class
SARAH: I encountered a song that I liked recently called, ‘Kité’ that is in French but it is by a French-Canadian
KAYLA: I don’t know that one. They had a French rapper, I don't know if you saw that, but he looked like French Pitbull
SARAH: Oh, I didn't know. Oh, it's giving me ‘Kite’ I don't want ‘Kite’ I want ‘Kité’ I'm looking up in my own Spotify
KAYLA: Oh, my headphones
SARAH: Oh, your headphones, it's by Aiza, A-I-Z-A
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Anyway, sometimes I think about… here's a question for you
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: How many different languages do you have in your music library? And by that I mean…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: It has to be at least like 90% of the songs in that language
KAYLA: Uh, English and maybe like two K-pop songs, two Korean songs
SARAH: And a lot of K-pop songs aren't at that 90% threshold to be honest
KAYLA: Yeah, probably, honestly yeah, I think you got it, probably not. So, yeah I don't know I like don't listen to a lot of foreign language music.
SARAH: I've got English, I've got Korean, I've got Japanese, I've got German, Italian, Spanish, French, Romanian
KAYLA: Oh, she’s so…
SARAH: I don’t know, it’s Dragostea Din Tei, it's the…
KAYLA: I don’t know that one
SARAH: You wouldn't… you wouldn't, hold on, please hold
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Please hold. I'm going to play the song to you and you're going to be like, “oh, what the hell?”
KAYLA: Does British count?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Just got to check
SARAH: Oh, I have to play it off my phone because otherwise you won't be able to hear it, it's not Dragoste, it's Dragostea Din Tei
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: It’s this song [Plays Dragostea Din Tei]
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, I do know that song
SARAH: It's in Romanian
KAYLA: I did not know that
SARAH: Oh, Swedish
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I think that covers most of it
KAYLA: I used to listen to more French music when I was studying French and I like French, like pop music, I just, I'm out of it, you know?
SARAH: Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: I can suggest an Italian song to you
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's by the people who did the cover of this song
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, I love those people
SARAH: You know the song?
KAYLA: Yeah, I love that song
SARAH: And then they did a cover of it and then it went viral on TikTok and people were like, “oh my God, I love this song” and I was like, “I hope y'all know this is a cover”
KAYLA: Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about
SARAH: It's um… I'm struggling
KAYLA: I can tell
SARAH: Maneskin, that is the name of the band
KAYLA: Okay, that means nothing to me
SARAH: ‘Beggin,’ the song is ‘Beggin’
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I'm begging, begging youuuu
KAYLA: People didn't know it was a cover?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I thought we had all heard the original
SARAH: Anyway, we have… they have a song called Moriro da Re, it's good
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: That's my song rec for you
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: You’re welcome
KAYLA: Did you watch the TikTok I sent you?
SARAH: I haven't yet, I was…
KAYLA: That I said was mandatory
SARAH: I was busy working and then I came home and then I am podding now
KAYLA: But I said it was mandatory
SARAH: Well, you didn't say it was mandatory before I podded
KAYLA: Anyway, how's your brat summer going?
SARAH: Here's the thing… I… okay, I have not listened to brat by Charlie XCX in full
KAYLA: I've only listened to a couple of songs
SARAH: I've not even listened to it in part, I don't think it's my style
KAYLA: Here's the problem…
SARAH: The Apple song I think is maybe okay
KAYLA: I like the Apple song. I started listening to the album but it is not the kind of music that I can listen to casually very often, like if it came on in the club, I would be like ‘woooo’
SARAH: Bumpin that shit
KAYLA: But it's not the type of music I just like listen to day to day
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I have liked hearing the songs, like on TikTok I hear them a lot and I'm like, “wooo…”
SARAH: I listened to the ‘Girl, so confusing’ song because like she did the version with just herself and then the version with Lorde because it was about Lorde and she didn't tell Lorde about it until like the day before it came out and Lorde was like, “I want to be on this song.” So, did a version of the song with both of them, I don't really like it very much.
KAYLA: Uh-oh
SARAH: It's very it's a very narrative song and it's a very narratively interesting song like it literally tells a story about like their relationship and then like in Lorde's verse she's like, she talks about when Charlie sent her the message being like, “hey, I wrote a song about you, it's coming out tomorrow”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Um but it's just… I don't… I don't… I… like I don't want to listen to it
KAYLA: It’s not your vibe?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like I can acknowledge and recognize that it's like… it's like good art but I'm just not
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You know? It's not for me
KAYLA: It’s not your vibe, I feel that. Yeah, I would say it's not like the type of music I generally listen to but I have enjoyed hearing it around and I like the culture surrounding it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I enjoy the brat culture, I enjoy the brat remixes, specifically those with the coconut tree
SARAH: Coconut, yeah. I was really impressed with how fast Kamala's team slash the team formerly known as Biden's team
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Just quickly pivoted to brat summer so fast
KAYLA: Yeah, Kamala HQ is putting the work in
SARAH: Oh, yeah, and it was wild because from what I understand when Biden dropped out pretty much no one knew, like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like the… like even people very close to him only four of them maybe knew
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because they didn't want it to go wide and get leaked like he wanted to be the one to release it so as a result they couldn't tell anyone and so like even people who were high up in his administration like didn't know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, I'm like clearly Kamala knew because…
KAYLA: I mean she had to have
SARAH: Like she had to be like, “hey, yes I'm going to run.” Like otherwise…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Otherwise, it would have been weird if he'd like endorsed her and then she'd been like, “actually, I don't want to”
KAYLA: “I don't want to do it,” yeah
SARAH: But like how far in advance did she know? Could she even tell her staff because they were keeping it so hush-hush
KAYLA: Yeah, how… I mean maybe like one or two very high up people on her staff but like…
SARAH: Hold on, wait, I saw an interview with Doug Emhoff where he…
KAYLA: Yes, he was cycling with the gays
SARAH: He was cycling with the gays in WeHo when the announcement came out
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then he got back to his phone finally and was like had a billion messages and calls and whatever and Kamala was like, “dude, I need you right now”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Does that mean that they didn't know?
KAYLA: I mean, he certainly didn't know
SARAH: She would tell him, that's her husband
KAYLA: I mean, maybe it like wasn't a certainty, maybe it was like, “hey, this might happen” or like maybe Biden told her like…
SARAH: Maybe Kamala got 15-minutes notice, like…
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: Because they wrote… they wrote his statement Saturday night, the night before
KAYLA: Yeah, my guess is that she was given the information that it might happen and to like prepare if it does happen but was not given any like certainty…
SARAH: Or any like timeline or anything
KAYLA: Yeah. I almost wonder if the reason that her like especially social media campaign has been going so well is because there was not a lot of planning
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And because it is so reliant on just like current events and current memes that like that is what's giving it success
SARAH: They were talking about that on… it may have been ‘Pod Save America’ it may have been ‘Pod Save the World’ either way it was a wonky political podcast by… Tommy Vietor was involved, that's all I can say, um
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: They were talking about how… the fact that they've had to bring everything together so quickly like they are shocked at how successful it has been, like they… like no one could have expected that it would have gone this well for her
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And they were saying that like, you know, usually you message test everything, you spend months testing the exact like phrasing and the exact everything and they obviously don't have time to do that so they're just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks and as a result they have more freedom to be a little silly and now they have the entire Democratic Party referring to Trump as ‘weird,’ like we went from like, real hoity toity bitches being like, “no, I won't get rid of the filibuster” who are now being like, “dude, that guy is weird”
KAYLA: Yeah, it also… it just feels so much more authentic
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is what our generation craves
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Like if like my line of work has taught me nothing else it's that people are like sick of heavily curated like…
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Have like things that are that like tested and thought out and get together in that way because then you like don't actually know who the person is
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: But because they're just like doing whatever
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: You can actually like see what's going on
SARAH: And because… well, and the right is trying to be like, “oh, she cackles, she laughs” and people are like, “yeah, she's a genuine…” like, “she's a genuine person”
KAYLA: Yeah
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Like if she says something you believe her, like have you seen those videos of her talking about food?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Just like various videos… there was one where she was… it’s from a couple of years ago, she was like waiting, she had to go like on an interview in like one minute and she was like, kind of like backstage about to go, but she was talking to someone behind the camera and they were like, “you have one minute, you need to go” she was like, “wait, one minute” and then she's explaining how to prepare a turkey, like a whole turkey
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And she's like, “you got to get the… you got to rub it all under the skin in the crevice” and then she's like… she was so serious about it, and the person was like, “dude, you need to go” and she was like, “no, let me finish this”
KAYLA: No, no, no
SARAH: And so she was like, was like, it's… like some time you can get some whatever, and then I saw a video recently that I think was from recently where like a kid asked her like what her… what her taco order was, like what her favorite tacos are, and she was like, “I really like carnitas” she's like, “sometimes I'll do like a fish taco but like I really like carnitas” and the kid was like, “me too” and she was like, “yeah, especially with some cilantro…” and something else and then she was like, “but no raw onion, I don't do raw onion, do you do raw onion?” and he was like, “no” and she was like, “yeah, I don't do raw onion”
KAYLA: Like a ten-year-old, “do you do raw onion?” Oh, it’s so fun
SARAH: And it's just like… she's like a genuine person and like is she responsible for a lot of shit that I don't feel nice about? Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, yes
SARAH: But at least I feel like she's reachable
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: In a way that Biden didn’t feel reachable towards the ends there
KAYLA: It feels… no, definitely, probably, yeah, no, just like very unrelatable, it reminds me just like a lot of Obama's presidency where there like is the availability to have some levity but also like…
SARAH: Well, and the podcast Bros were saying that like this is the first time that they have seen this kind of enthusiasm from…
KAYLA: Oh, yeah
SARAH: The voters since 2008
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, definitely, especially young voters too, like it… so much of it is young voters who were like not activated at all
SARAH: Yeah. And now they're like, shit they got Megan the Stallion fucking twerking…
KAYLA: I know, it’s so crazy, the memes brother
SARAH: I saw a thing that was like, dude, why… because like that was at an indoor like arena like stadium…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And they're like, it looks so impressive like having this whole thing full like why doesn't Trump do indoor events also because it's probably less likely that he'll get shot in the ear? But someone was like, “he doesn't do indoor events because he can't” and they were like, “what do you mean he can't?” and they were like, he owes so much money, he did a bunch of indoor events before 2020…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Before 2020, before… like in while…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: While he was running and never paid his bills
KAYLA: Ah
SARAH: And so, no one will take him
KAYLA: That is…
SARAH: And someone showed a map of all of the venues that he owes money to and how much he owes to them and one of them was like $5,000 in Vermont but then it's like $400,000 in El Paso like…
KAYLA: Yeah, brother
SARAH: They won't take him. So…
KAYLA: He has to just go to a park
SARAH: So, he has to get like random farmers to be like, “yeah, you can use my land”
KAYLA: Cringe, weird
SARAH: Remember the ‘Four Seasons Landscaping’?
KAYLA: I was literally just thinking about that, the ‘Four Seasons Landscaping’ I don't think we talk about it enough
SARAH: The thing about the Trump era which I hope ends soon and I hope we kind of put behind us, and I'm not confident but I hope
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Is we're going to look back on this and be like, “that was a fucking fever dream”
KAYLA: It was weird
SARAH: It was weird. Like these poor children are going to have to read about it in their history books and be like, “first of all, how the fuck did you let this happen?”
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: And we'll just be like, “girl.” But also, they're going to be like, “what the fuck?”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like the shit, the unhinged shit because on fucking ‘Veep’ like for their last season they were like they were struggling to come up with things to do on the show because real-life politics had gotten so absurd that they couldn't top it
KAYLA: Yeah, you know what I think is going to happen?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like years and years and years from now Trump is going to be our version of Taft where we're like, “oh, yeah that fucking guy that got stuck in the bathtub? what a loser”
SARAH: Yeah, I mean Taft is literally just known for being the fattest president and getting stuck in a bathtub
KAYLA: Right, like that is what I hope happens for Trump
SARAH: I hope… I mean…
KAYLA: I don't think it's likely, I think he's done a little bit too much damage
SARAH: He has done too much damage, yeah
KAYLA: But I hope that like a very long time from now he's like just that weird guy
SARAH: I hope he continues to be a joke for all eternity
KAYLA: Me too
SARAH: Same with fucking Elon Musk
KAYLA: Brother
SARAH: A piece of shit. Anyway, do we have anything else we want to talk about? Is there anything aspec-related that we should touch on?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Great. Well, what is our… oh, no, we have to do a poll.
KAYLA: Mm, what did you get up to during the break?
SARAH: What did you do during the break? Um, I will say as many of you know me and Kayla call each other when famous people die
KAYLA: Oh, yeah
SARAH: And we don't ever call each other unsolicited otherwise
KAYLA: But recently I think I… well, recently I opened it up to major world events
SARAH: Yeah, so…
KAYLA: Because it felt necessary
SARAH: So, Kayla has been really outdoing me on the announcing of…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: This stuff. Um, so whenever she calls me, I always pick up and I say, “who died?”
KAYLA: “Who died?” Because it's the only reason I would call you unsolicited
SARAH: Yep, and Kayla was like, “okay, well, they didn't die but…” And I was like, “what?” and she was like… she was like, “Trump got shot” and I was like, “what?” you… you… it had happened like five minutes earlier, like you were on top of it
KAYLA: What's crazy is the reason I knew about it that fast is because my roommate Jared saw it on Twitter seconds after it happened. So early that we could not find a verifiable news source that was confirming it. So, like I did not believe him at first because I could not find anything verifiable
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, like articles were just starting to get published when I called you
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: So, I felt very excited about that one
SARAH: Yeah, and I was like, “yeah, that's a good reason to call.” And then you called me again because someone died
KAYLA: Richard Simmons
SARAH: Yeah, there were three calls in like a week
KAYLA: Yeah, Richard Simmons died and then…
SARAH: And then I was like, “oh, I should have called you when…” what's-her-face from… I forgot the name of it again, the… movie
KAYLA: It was a scary movie, yeah, the scary one
SARAH: With the twins?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The Shining
KAYLA: The Shining, yes
SARAH: I was like, “oh, I should have called you when she died but I didn't think of it”
KAYLA: Yeah, and then I think I called you when Biden dropped out
SARAH: Yes. So, the funny thing is I was… I don't know what… I think I was like playing phone games
KAYLA: Probably
SARAH: And I saw that I had gotten a text from my sister that was a photo and I was like, “oh, I'm in the middle of playing my phone games, I will…”
KAYLA: It will wait a little bit
SARAH: “I will open that later” and so I ignored it, and then like two minutes later I get a call from Kayla and she… and I was like, “who died?” and she was like, “no one died, but Biden dropped out” and I was like, “holy shit”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then a little bit later I went back and I looked at my text messages and what my sister had sent me a photo of was Biden's letter
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And she had actually also sent me another text before that but like I just didn't see…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The notification for that one
KAYLA: So, I won
SARAH: So, like she time-wise she told me first but I did not see it
KAYLA: You got to be better than that, you got to call
SARAH: I told her that, I was like, “listen, you got… it got to be by the phone call, sorry”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Where were you when Donald Trump got shot?
KAYLA: When Donald Trump got shot I think I was in the bathroom because then I heard yelling downstairs and I was like, “what's going on?” When Biden dropped out I think I was in my living room
SARAH: I was in the bathroom when Biden dropped
KAYLA: Crazy
SARAH: Anyway, our poll is…
KAYLA: Where were you?
SARAH: What's…
KAYLA: What’s up?
SARAH: Um, there have also been a lot of other like major events just in the world but…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: We're Americans and we're very self-absorbed, hehe
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Um, okay, uh, Kayla what's your beef and your juice for this week? For this month?
KAYLA: For this whole month, wow, my beef is I had a migraine last night
SARAH: Ew
KAYLA: And I went to bed and I was really hoping to sleep it off and I woke up I still had a headache and I couldn't figure out why I had a headache so I was like, I drank my normal amount of water, I ate my food, it like wasn't too hot, so I was very confused and then it rained today
SARAH: Ah
KAYLA: And I realized that it was just super humid
SARAH: It was humid
KAYLA: And that the rain broke it and then it was fine, so, yeah
SARAH: I hate that the world can do that to you
KAYLA: I know and I didn't even think of it until one of my co-workers was like, “oh, yeah, I've had a headache for like two days” and I was like, “oh, that’s why”
SARAH: It’s crazy that you can get a headache and it’s like a meteorologist
KAYLA: Literally it’s upsetting, it's so upsetting
SARAH: Ugh
KAYLA: So, that's my beef, my juice is I've been doing my annual reread of Pride and Prejudice, oh because I got a new tattoo over the break
SARAH: Yes, my… I emailed my tattoo guy like a week and a half ago and he still hasn't answered so I followed up yesterday
KAYLA: Bitch
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: Anyway. My new tattoo is the like hand-holding scene from Pride and Prejudice
SARAH: I see it
KAYLA: So, I decided to do my annual reread of Pride and Prejudice and man, what a good book
SARAH: What a grand time, I love that for you
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: My beef is… getting mad at the women's volleyball players who were wearing leggings
KAYLA: Brother, it's cold outside, it was cold
SARAH: I turned on the TV over the weekend and I was like, “oh, look women's beach volleyball, USA versus Canada, sure I'll take a looky and I saw that both Team USA and Team Canada were wearing leggings, like they were wearing like the normal like sports bra top thing and then leggings and I was like… And I immediately texted my mom because my mom always complains about how like their uniforms are them just being naked, like why is…
KAYLA: I feel that way about track too, I don't understand why the men get to wear full shorts and the women have to wear bikinis, I don't understand it
SARAH: Yeah, why don't the men wear bikinis?
KAYLA: I just feel like the chafing, brother, the chafing
SARAH: Yeah, and it's like look if that's what you want to wear, great, but like the fact that those are like the team uniforms
KAYLA: You shouldn't have to, right, there should be options if nothing else…
SARAH: They do have more options now…
KAYLA: Like…
SARAH: They do
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: But anyway, then so I texted my mom, I was like, “both teams are wearing leggings, like you'll be pleased to hear.” But then there were a bunch of men online who were mad that they were wearing leggings because they couldn't objectify them as much as they wanted to, but also the other thing is it like leggings are skin tight
KAYLA: It's the same
SARAH: So, you basically see the same thing just without seeing the skin and I understand why it feels different but objectively is it really that different?
KAYLA: If anything, leggings are more revealing because they are so tight
SARAH: They give you more butt
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Yeah, I don't know ma'am. My juice is in the past month I have gotten very into Seventeen, it's dangerous, it's the K-pop group that I got into, I have landed on my bias line…
KAYLA: Hi, everyone, Sarah not did take my advice
SARAH: It was a while ago I just forgot to update you, my bias is Seungkwan, my bias line is Seungkwan, Mingyu, Jeonghan, S. Coups and Joshua. S. Coups was a real dark horse I didn't expect him to land there but he did, they're going on tour in the Fall before they have to start enlisting in the fucking military
KAYLA: Oh, you really got in at the wrong time, huh? Yikes
SARAH: That's my juice, um, you can also tell us about your beef and your juice on your social media… on our social media @soundsfakepod, if you… if you like me are a carat uh tell me, carat, C-A-R-A-T, not a carrot, um, tell me who your bias is
KAYLA: Can I tell you something?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Can I tell you something? And now this is aspec-related in a way
SARAH: Oh, I love it
KAYLA: Speaking of carrots, twice now in my…
SARAH: Twice?
KAYLA: Watching of the Olympics there has been a commercial about bent penis disease and the medication you can take to fix it…
SARAH: To unbend it
KAYLA: And the visuals they are using are carrots, like full carrots, not baby carrots, full carrots that are bent a little bit or a lot of it, and they talk in very explicit language about the bent penis and the medicine and the penis stretches that you can do
SARAH: Penis stretches?
KAYLA: Exactly, and that's why…
SARAH: Who studied this? Why…
KAYLA: I said, “Jared what do you mean you can stretch your penis? Do you mean manually or can it do it on its own?” and he said, “both”
SARAH: What? Hold on, wait, wait, wait
KAYLA: I don't know if we've talked about this before but penises can move by themselves
SARAH: Can you like make… can you like think and make your…
KAYLA: You can make your penis do a move, not a lot, but they can
SARAH: Because here I was thinking that it was this weird semi-autonomous part of your body that you like couldn't really control which is…
KAYLA: You can make it…
SARAH: Which is weird, first of all
KAYLA: You can make it wiggle a little bit, I'm sorry
SARAH: I don't… there's a lot of things I don't like about penises
KAYLA: Yeah, same
SARAH: And that's one of them
KAYLA: And so, I just found it very… I didn't like the commercial, I did not like the visual of the commercial, I also didn't like how they always do the shot at the end, of like the man and the woman, the happy couple about to fuck, you know?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because his penis is better now
SARAH: If… because of bent penis are there like negative health outcomes? Or is it literally just essentially a cosmetic thing?
KAYLA: So, what I learned when I was asking my roommate Jared about this because I was like, “what the actual fuck?” Because I was like, I knew that some people have bent penises, I was like, I know that's like not a rare thing
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like people have a curve in their pee-pee
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And so, I was like, “who the fuck cares Jared? and he said, “as you get older there is a larger risk of it snapping”
SARAH: Sorry, for peaking the mic, I just was so amused by that
KAYLA: He also said it can be uncomfortable for a sexual partner which makes sense if it's at a weird angle, it starts bumping into things I suppose. But yeah, it can just snap
SARAH: Bumping and grinding the wrong way
KAYLA: Exactly
SARAH: Or maybe a good way depending on…
KAYLA: The duck penises that are all…
SARAH: I will not ask you to elaborate and I will ask that you in fact please don't, um…
KAYLA: Okay, so duck penises are corkscrew-shaped, yep
SARAH: Okay. Um, you can find us on social media and yell at Kayla about that @soundsfakepod
KAYLA: I can't go through this all alone, someone else has to know
SARAH: We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod, if for some fucking reason you want to give us money, we actually got a lot of new patrons over the break, wild
KAYLA: Thank you all so much
SARAH: Um, sorry for this, uh, we can't believe you're giving us your money. Our new two $2 patrons are Aly and Angela and that's it
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: There were some people… there were some people that switched to $2 but they were already at another tier so I'm not going to say your names again
KAYLA: Upon reading this Sarah said, “I have an aunt Angela” and I said…
SARAH: No, I have a cousin Angela
KAYLA: So sorry, so sorry
SARAH: Um, thank you Aly and Angela, I don't think you're my cousin but thank you regardless
KAYLA: Thank you anyway
SARAH: Our $5 patrons who we're promoting this week… well, first let's do the new one
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Um, we have Katharina, this person has a German looking last name and um it's K-A-T-H-A-R-I-N-A and their payment was in euros, so, I strongly believe this person is from a German-speaking country
KAYLA: Okay, good to know
SARAH: Which is why it's Katharina
KAYLA: Okay, thank you
SARAH: Um, also, we have Zimon, which, a similar situation, it's Simon
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's Simon
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: But… uh, Simon, first of all, wrote us a wonderful message, thank you
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: Um, and mentioned at the end that like, “oh, it's cool that Sarah speaks German” and I was like, “my God”
KAYLA: Thank you, it is cool.
SARAH: Danke Schoen. I was going to say more in German and then my brain just stopped
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: So, Zimon, Simon, whatever, you know, whatever floats, everyone's boat here. Uh, and also Snordstorm
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: It’s like… I assume…
KAYLA: Like Nordstrom for snails?
SARAH: It's Nord… I just realized it's Nordstorm
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: See, I write it like Nordstrom, like with an S, like Nordstrom
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Which for those who don't know Nordstrom is like a…
KAYLA: A department store
SARAH: A department store in the United States
KAYLA: And snort strom is that is snails
SARAH: Is snails, yeah, I believe this is Snordstorm
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Have you considered being snordstorm instead?
KAYLA: What do you think? Give us your thoughts
SARAH: Give us your thoughts, let us know. Um, our other $5 patrons we're promoting this week are Alex Istar and Alexander. Our $10 patrons, we have a new $10 patron who was actually already a patron but just switched… who bumped up to $10
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: So, hello, um, I don't know what name to call you because your name on Patreon is different from the name that you emailed us with, so… and it's different from the name that we previously had. So, your Patreon name is Alastor, give us a little message or an email if that's the name you want us to use or if you want us to use what seems to be your government name.
KAYLA: the government name
SARAH: Um, also I have this problem where I can't pronounce the word… the name Alastor, I had to make Kayla say it
KAYLA: We had to practice, we practiced
SARAH: For some reason my brain wants to put emphasis on the ‘tor’ I want to say like ‘store’
KAYLA: Yeah, you said that at first, and I was like, “what name is that?” And then I was like, “oh”
SARAH: Yeah. I can't do it right
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Um, so, there is that, just another $10 patron whose name I will be really self-conscious about…
KAYLA: Excellent
SARAH: How I say it
KAYLA: It's rare that I say someone's name better than you. So, I'm really reveling in this moment
SARAH: Yeah, but thank you Alastor slash name redacted. And then our other $10 patrons who are promoting something this week… oh, Alastor told us what they wanted to promote, they wanted to promote…
KAYLA: Their own name. No
SARAH: ttrpg slash… it's the ttrpg slash Candela Obscura Podcast called ‘Shadows and Shenanigans’
KAYLA: Sounds fun
[01:00:00]
SARAH: So, hell yeah. Our other $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are SongOStorm who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance and Val who would like to promote um singing in the rain. Um, Lebron James fucking George Washingtoning, Team USA Paris opening ceremony
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Um, that's… that's what Val would like to promote. Our other $10 patrons are Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Bones, Celina Dobson, David Harris, Derick & Carissa, Elle Bitter, My Aunt Jeannie, Kayla's Dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Parker, Purple Hayes, and the Barefoot Backpacker. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. My mouth is not working
KAYLA: We are out of practice folks, out of practice
SARAH: Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com, and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. I can't even read right now. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr Jacki who would like to promote being Dr Jacki, that's not how Dr Jacki told us she wanted to be promoted
KAYLA: But that's how we are choosing to promote
SARAH: That's how we interpreted your request
KAYLA: Yeah. And I think it's great
SARAH: Um, and my mom and uh they… Dragonfly and my mom and fuck it Dr Jacki would like to promote taking your dog to a dog-friendly brewery
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Sadie went to a brewery today
KAYLA: Oh, adult
SARAH: Yeah. Um, thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears, and we will be more… I won't say more focused because, you know
KAYLA: Who knows? We can’t promise such a thing
SARAH: But we will… we will have a topic
KAYLA: That we will
SARAH: We even… we even maybe have ideas
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Whoooo. In your ears. What?
KAYLA: Bye
SARAH: Cows?
KAYLA: Cows.
SARAH: Hi
KAYLA: We're back
SARAH: We just came back, we stopped our… stopped our audio and realized that we once again forgot to mention that we forgot our birthday
KAYLA: It was our birthday in July, I think it's our seventh
SARAH: We were…
KAYLA: We’re seven now?
SARAH: We're seven
KAYLA: We forgot
SARAH: You know, the fact… the fact that our birthday is when our summer break usually is really…
KAYLA: Is not great
SARAH: Kind of fucks us
KAYLA: We did not think that through
SARAH: Um, but anyway, happy birthday pod, you're seven, you are in… what grade? First grade? Second grade?
KAYLA: Second
SARAH: I hope you have a good school year
KAYLA: Mm-hmm, maybe we'll remember you next year, probably not
SARAH: Yep, probably not, but we'll try. Um, thanks bye.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]