Ep 268: Sex and Romance Trivia
(00:00)
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello, welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationship, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, sex trivia.
SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds Fake But Okay.
(theme music plays)
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Hello.
SARAH: Hope everyone's doing good.
KAYLA: I'm sleepy.
SARAH: I'm… suffering.
KAYLA: Yeah, Sarah's ill.
SARAH: Again.
KAYLA: We had to restart recording like three times because Sarah just kept coughing right when we started.
SARAH: Or like, I would be fine and then my voice would be like… (noises)
KAYLA: Yeah, that's really good.
SARAH: Anyway, I hope everyone's good. Our housekeeping is that we are the month, the time… After this episode, we have one more before our break
KAYLA: Oh boy. We should make it good, probably, huh?
SARAH: Yeah, we probably should.
KAYLA: You know what's funny? Is randomly, we've been getting like a lot of Twitter followers
SARAH: Bro
KAYLA: and we're like not active on Twitter anymore, really. And then also like a lot more people than normal listening. And I can't figure out, I don't know where any of these people came from.
SARAH: Everyone read the book.
KAYLA: No one has given me, maybe. No one's given me clear answers. And my favorite thing about this is we used to, when that happened, be like, okay, we need to like make a really good episode because there's all these new people. Like we need to make it good so they stay.
SARAH: Now it's like, listen, this is, it is what it is.
KAYLA: Like this is, yeah, there's no use in like –
SARAH: You have to know what to expect.
KAYLA: There's no use in making like an especially quote unquote good episode for new people when that's never always the quality.
SARAH: That's not the bar. That's not the bar that we reach every week.
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: And so let's be realistic about that.
KAYLA: Yeah. We got to set expectations correctly. So if you're one of those new people, A, where the fuck did you come from? And B –
SARAH: Welcome to the shit show.
KAYLA: Hello.
SARAH: Hi. Thank you for listening for some reason.
KAYLA: I just thought-
SARAH: I'm not thanking you for some reason. I'm just confused about why you're listening, but that's, you know, you do you, boo.
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: Alright. Let's start this podcast. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, I, you know, how I came up with this idea is I was thinking about the Jenna, I was thinking about the Jenna and Julien podcast. May she rest in pieces.
SARAH: Rip in pieces.
KAYLA: And they used to do such fun things, like they would do Shark Tank. They would play like funny games. And I was like, what's like something like that, that we could do, but still keep it slightly on theme. And I was like, what if we found some sort of trivia to do? And I have found, and I didn't vet any of this because why would I research for my podcast? So who's to say, but there is a lot of results for sex trivia and romance trivia. So
SARAH: I'm scared
KAYLA: but we're going to see, do you have a preference? Do you want me to do romance? Do you want to do sex?
SARAH: I think we should just start with sex trivia. I think we should just rip the bandaid off.
KAYLA: Okay. The first one is a Buzzfeed.
SARAH: Okay. So is it like, here's an interesting fact, or is it going to be like, you tell me, is it multiple choice? Is it open-ended, open-ended?
KAYLA: Okay. It is by a member of Buzzfeed staff. At first I was afraid it was just like, and cause you know, anyone can do anything on Buzzfeed.
SARAH: Right anyone can do that
KAYLA: Oh, first enter your name. What's our name?
SARAH: Gorg.
KAYLA: Gorg.
SARAH: Spelled like gorge, but go Gorg.
KAYLA: Oh, interesting. Okay. But Buzzfeed has updated a lot since I've cared about it, but I guess Buzzfeed quiz party is a thing. And so I can invite you.
SARAH: Oh my God. That's crazy. You know, I, I work pretty near the Buzzfeed building.
KAYLA: Sometimes I watch the Try Guys podcast. And so sometimes like clips come up on my TikTok and they've been doing a lot of podcasts from cars and I guess they were driving past the Buzzfeed office. So Zach, who was driving was like, oh, we're passing the Buzzfeed office. Everyone hold their breath. So everyone took a big gasp and they held their breath while they passed the Buzzfeed office. It is very funny.
SARAH: My name is help.
KAYLA: Okay.
(05:00)
KAYLA: Okay. Let’s start.
SARAH: Waiting for Gorg start the party.
KAYLA: I'm sorry.
SARAH: Well, I'm a little pug. You're a little cat.
KAYLA: I'm a little cat fitting three, two. Well, are they just like trying to knock off? What's it called?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Jackbox. Okay. What is this? This is timed.
SARAH: Huh?
KAYLA: What? This better not actually be timed.
SARAH: What is the average length of an erect penis?
KAYLA: Between three and five, between five and seven, between eight and nine. I'm going to say between five and seven.
SARAH: That's my instinct also, but.
KAYLA: Because it seems, oh, I got it right.
SARAH: My God. Slay. If you had to describe the shape of the clitoris, what object would you compare it to? Zach from the Try Guys.
KAYLA: A button, a wishbone, and eraser. Well, erasers can be any shape and so can buttons.
SARAH: Isn't it wish bony?
KAYLA: I'm between button and wish? Don't tell me if you got it right. I'm between button and wishbone because people like call it the button.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I'm going to say wishbone. Oh, nice.
SARAH: Correct. Is penis size really related to shoe size? No.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I'm so sorry. This study looked at 63 people.
KAYLA: That's not enough.
SARAH: And it concluded that foot size is not a practical estimator of penis size. When aroused, the vagina can expand to about twice its normal size.
KAYLA: I think that's true, maybe.
SARAH: I'm just imagining it blowing up like a balloon. I'm just going to say true.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Vaginal tenting? Oh, no.
KAYLA: I don't like that. The reason I think I knew this is because you know how everyone's always like, oh, her vagina was loose, so she used it too much. And it's like, actually, sir, if it's too tight, that means that you're not doing anything and she's not turned on. So maybe you should be better.
SARAH: Do better.
KAYLA: Lust and love activate the same part of the brain. I think that's false.
SARAH: Time's up.
KAYLA: Time's up? Wait, go back. We have to restart. Let's restart.
SARAH: (laughing) Okay.
KAYLA: No, I don't want to do another quiz. Go back. Why is this timed? That sucks. I'm recording a podcast.
SARAH: And also, we're doing it at the same time.
KAYLA: This sucks. Okay.
SARAH: (laughing) Maybe you should just send me the quiz and we can just do it regular.
KAYLA: Okay, now I'm playing against the computer.
SARAH: Yeah, you've got to send it to me again.
KAYLA: It's too late. We're not playing together anymore.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Okay, fine. I'm going back.
SARAH: Can you just send me this quiz?
KAYLA: I'm working on it. There's a man missing near me. My phone. My phone just told me.
SARAH: Oh, it went beep, beep, boop, boop. (siren sounds)
KAYLA: I have an app that tells me of the crimes. I invited you.
SARAH: It says you're typing.
KAYLA: I'm not.
SARAH: Oh my god, it's time for buzzfeed quiz party. I'm joining as help. So true.
KAYLA: Okay, we're going to answer the questions we already answered so fast.
SARAH: No, I think we should just skip them. It doesn't matter.
KAYLA: Let's just go. Five to seven. Wishbone.
SARAH: Lust and love activate the same part of the brain.
KAYLA: No. I think that's false.
SARAH: I'm going to say false. That is correct.
KAYLA: It is false.
SARAH: What percent of penises worldwide are circumcised? Probably not that many.
SARAH: Probably not. The options are 30, 40, and 50.
KAYLA: I'm going to say 30.
SARAH: I'm also going to say 30. And that is correct.
KAYLA: It's correct. Approximately how many nerve endings does a clitoris have?
SARAH: A lot. 60 billion.
KAYLA: 4,000, 6,000, 8,000. I'm going to say 8,000.
SARAH: I'm going to say 8,000.
KAYLA: Wow, we're really good at this. Penises used to have spikes all over them. I'm going to say false because I want it to be false. Oh, no. Oh, no.
SARAH: What is the evolutionary purpose of having spikes?
KAYLA: To hold because then it gets stuck in it, I think?
SARAH: That is not how consent works.
KAYLA: No, wearing socks during sex can actually increase your chances of having an orgasm.
SARAH: I’ve heard that before
KAYLA: I feel like I've heard that this is true. It's true. It is true.
SARAH: It's more likely to orgasm with warmer feet.
KAYLA: I mean, I guess if your feet are really cold, you're going to get distracted, you know? Okay, pick it up. Natural vaginal lubricant contains a substance called squalene, which is also found in the liver of which animal? Snake, monkey, shark.
SARAH: Shark.
KAYLA: I'm saying shark, too. Oh, my God. It's true. Gross.
SARAH: How effective are condoms at preventing pregnancy and STI transmission? I think it’s 98.
KAYLA: I'm going to say 99.9
(10:00)
SARAH: I'm going to say 98.
KAYLA: Oh, I was wrong.
SARAH: Guess who's correct? Me. The penis is a muscle. I don't like this image.
KAYLA: I think that's false.
SARAH: Imagine if you could work out your penis to make it bigger.
KAYLA: Well, time's up again.
SARAH: Time's up, but it is, well, and finally, can a person get pregnant without having intercourse? Well, yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I got to the end. I got them all right.
KAYLA: Okay, congratulations. That was very stressful. I hate how that was timed. How do you feel about those facts, Sarah?
SARAH: I feel like they were kind of tame. I feel like the answers were all too obvious.
KAYLA: Yes, we're too knowledgeable. Let's try to find one. This one's called weird sexual trivia. So maybe we'll be bad at this one. Blocked site. Have I been blocked?
SARAH: Only sex experts can give, can get one out of 12.
KAYLA: It tried to block me, but I want to get in. My redirect, let me in. My block plugin blocked it because they don't think I'm an adult.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: But I am. I am an adult. Let me in.
SARAH: Stop! It. Okay, this one is from popbuzz.com, and it says you're not allowed to have sex unless you score 11 out of 12 on this sex IQ quiz.
KAYLA: Well, I'm going to try to tell my, I'm going to try to tell this thing that I'm an adult, actually. I'm an adult.
SARAH: This quiz is boring.
KAYLA: Okay, I think I'm allowed in now. Nope.
SARAH: Did you just beg enough?
KAYLA: Well, it, for some reason, it had the setting on to a block adult content. Okay, here I am. Oh, it's because it's a sex toy. Oh, these are just facts. All that for just facts?
SARAH: Unbelievable.
KAYLA: Ah, this isn’t trivia?
SARAH: This one says only a sex expert can score 10 out of 12 on this crappy sex drawings quiz.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: And you have to identify what position it is.
KAYLA: Okay, well, that's really bad for audio mediums.
SARAH: It is, but the images are funny. They're very poorly drawn.
KAYLA: Okay, but they can't see them.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: Okay, this one's from how –
SARAH: Oh, this person is wearing a paper hat. You know, like one of those hats that can be also a boat?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: I found a quiz by How Stuff Works.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Okay, the first question we already did, what's the size of the average erect penis? Well, this is, well, this is very detailed.
SARAH: Oh no
KAYLA: So here's the option. So it was between 5 and 7, is what we said last time, right?
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: Shut up, pop-up. Okay, so I think this first option is probably right, then, but it's 5.5 to 6.2 inches long and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in circumference.
SARAH: Ew.
KAYLA: Hold on, I have a measuring tape.
SARAH: I was thinking diameter. That makes me feel a little bit better.
KAYLA: Circumference?
SARAH: You missed it, I was telling the kids about how when you said circumference, but my brain went to diameter.
KAYLA: Okay, so maybe that's, okay what is circumference again?
SARAH: And that's why I panicked. Circumference is the amount around
KAYLA: to circumference. Oh, I was also thinking of diameter, and I was like, that would be crazy.
SARAH: That would be crazy.
KAYLA: No, this makes a lot more sense. That was scary.
SARAH: That's why I had such a visceral, horrified reaction.
KAYLA: Me, too. I was confused. I was like, I know I haven't seen a lot of penises, but you'd think that if that was the average, I would have seen one like that.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: This is it, Sarah. This is 4.
SARAH: Okay, sure. Okay.
KAYLA: And this is the length.
SARAH: Sure. This is a podcast. You were yelling at me before.
KAYLA: Yeah, but they can have measuring tapes at home. I was showing her.
SARAH: But what if they're not in inches?
KAYLA: That's literally not my problem. Okay, I think it's the first one. It was correct. Next. How many nerve endings does a clitoris have? A thousand. We already did this.
SARAH: We've been through this.
KAYLA: Oh, okay, a new one. How common is premature ejaculation? It affects 5% to 10% of men. 20 to, well, people with penises, 20 to 30% of penis people or 50 to 65% of penis people.
SARAH: Sorry, I wasn't listening. What were the percentages?
KAYLA: 5 to 10, 20 to 30, 50 to 65.
SARAH: It's always safe to go for the middle one.
KAYLA: But this is – Okay. Keep in mind also, this is men of all penis people of all ages. And I feel like you would assume that it's more likely
(15:00)
KAYLA: in younger people.
SARAH: Well also define what that means because...
KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like there's, I don't know, is there a number of minutes that makes it premature?
SARAH: Yeah, or just being like, okay, I feel like doing it now. Like, what's...
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know. Let's do the middle one. Correct. Okay, and it gave no explanation, so that's...
SARAH: Great.
KAYLA: Which of the following is not known as a libido killer? Wine, antidepressants, or exercise?
SARAH: Exercise.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think so. True. You may think a glass of wine is getting you in the mood, but it's not. Exercise is far from being a libido killer. It's actually one of the best ways to kickstart your sex drive. Okay
SARAH: Sure.
KAYLA: Oh, here's going to be a depressing question. How often do women have orgasms during sex? 5% of the time with intercourse/95% of the time during oral sex, 25% with intercourse/81% with oral sex, 50% of the time with both intercourse and oral sex.
SARAH: I'm always just going to go with the safe second option.
KAYLA: There’s hair in my mouth. I mean, definitely not 5% and 95%, because those are just two wildly different numbers. And 50% for both seems too convenient. The middle one was correct.
SARAH: I have a trivia question for you.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: Before being published as a novel, the Ray Bradbury novel Fahrenheit 451 was originally serialized in what men's magazine? I have options for you. They are Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse, or GQ.
KAYLA: I'm going to say Playboy.
SARAH: Correct.
KAYLA: Thank you. You know, people do get that magazine to read, so.
SARAH: To read Fahrenheit 451.
KAYLA: Talk about a libido killer. What the hell? Well, just looking one page, it's just boobs and the next sadness.
SARAH: Yep. According to a legend, what famous female ruler supposedly died while having relations with a horse? Catherine the Great of Russia, Elizabeth I of Britain, Cleopatra, or the Queen of Sheba?
KAYLA: I think it's Cleopatra. I feel like I've heard this.
SARAH: I'm still scrolling. My mouse is broken.
KAYLA: Oh, good.
SARAH: No, it was Catherine the Great of Russia.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, trying times up there in Russia, I guess.
SARAH: Oh my god. Okay. What sexual practice has most often been found depicted on pottery made by ancient Central American peoples? I do have a question about the way this question is phrased, though.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Are they saying what sexual practice has been found on pottery made by ancient Central American peoples that is disproportionately on Central American art?
Or are they just saying, like, of all sexual practices on the pottery of Central America, this is the one that is most common?
KAYLA: I think maybe the second one.
SARAH: Okay, well, voyeurism, bondage and discipline, orgy, or anal sex?
KAYLA: For some reason, before you even read the answers, my mind went to anal sex. I don't know why. I just kind of can see that on a pottery, you know what I mean?
SARAH: (laughing) And that is correct.
KAYLA: Like, I can see it now, you know?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I'm scared.
SARAH: The term LGBT is an abbreviation for what? Left gonad bilateral transmission. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual. Lucky girls bought and traded. Or lesbian girls basically tease.
KAYLA: Definitely the third one.
SARAH: I think it's the first one. Left gonad bilateral transmission.
KAYLA: Legumes, garages, bicycles, towels.
SARAH: (laughing) Oh, I see what you're trying to say. It took me so long to figure out what you were doing.
KAYLA: I couldn't think of a word that started with T.
SARAH: I thought you were giving me a trivia about legumes.
KAYLA: I wasn't. I just wasn't.
SARAH: I would say leftist garbanzo beans, tits.
KAYLA: That's good.
SARAH: Which famous World War II era leader supposedly used saltpetre on meals in order to suppress sexual desire? Winston Churchill. Church Hill.
KAYLA: That sounds like something he would do.
SARAH: Adolf Hitler. Joseph Stalin.
(20:00)
SARAH: Or President Roosevelt. I like how they just didn't give President Teddy, Tedward.
KAYLA: I think it's the Churchill.
SARAH: Sorry, I'm still trying to find the answer. Where'd it go? No, it was Hitler.
KAYLA: Really?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I kind of thought he would be a sex guy for some reason.
SARAH: Maybe he was too much of a sex guy and it was distracting him from killing all of the millions of people that he wanted to kill.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: You know?
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, maybe he should have had sex more often than I will.
SARAH: It's impacting your life.
KAYLA: I wonder if there's going to be a question about Kellogg in here.
SARAH: Kellogg?
KAYLA: You know, I think it's Bran cereal.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Kellogg. Do you not know this?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Like Bran, very plain cereal was originally invented because it was thought to like kill libido and it was going to keep your sons from masturbating so much. You don't know this?
SARAH: No, I don't. That's silly. Recently uncovered murals. This was like six years ago, but recently uncovered murals from ancient Pompeii to depict couples enjoying what kinky fun pastime? A. Swimming in chocolate. How would you know that it's chocolate? On a mural?
KAYLA: It could be poo. It could be poo.
SARAH: B. Group sex. C. Oral sex. Or D. Spanking.
KAYLA: I think group sex.
SARAH: It's spanking. But I have a question. Now I want to see this art now because like contextually, how do you know that it's in a sexual way? You know? That's why I want to see it.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Pompeii mural spanking.
KAYLA: After this, I'm going to teach you about Kellogg.
SARAH: (laughing) Oh, this is definitely sexual. I see this now.
KAYLA: Okay, good. Let me tell you a thing about Kellogg, Sarah. So back in the day, John Harvey Kellogg of Battle Creek, Michigan.
SARAH: Yep. Cereal city, as they say.
KAYLA: He was a physician and devout Seventh-day Adventist and was one of the loudest anti-masturbation voices in the United States.
SARAH: This is kind of ringing a bell now, yeah.
KAYLA: So he had a surgery practice, edited Good Health, the church's magazine. And oh, wow, what an interesting looking man. So he believed that sex, including masturbation, was detrimental to physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. He abstained from it, never consummated his marriage.
SARAH: Then why was he married?
KAYLA: Because he's a devout Christian.
SARAH: But if he was a devout Christian, he would have children.
KAYLA: Yes, you're right. He and his wife kept separate bedrooms. They adopted eight children and fostered another 34. So don't worry about that.
SARAH: I feel like they weren't very good foster parents.
KAYLA: No, I'm sure he's not.
SARAH: He was busy making bran.
KAYLA: So one of his solutions to making people not masturbate and so not get a lot of disorders that he thought came from, which one of them is if you're a chronic masturbator, you have a fondness for spicy foods, which has a racist undertone to it, for sure.
SARAH: You know what? That's true.
KAYLA: Yeah. So he thought that meat and certain flavorful food or seasoned foods increased sex, okay, yeah, the racism. And plainer foods, especially cereal and nuts, could curb it.
SARAH: Nuts?
KAYLA: And I guess...
SARAH: This nut keeps you from nutting?
KAYLA: And so he created a health treat, which was granula. Okay, but then he got a lawsuit and changed the name to granola.
SARAH: Why did he get a lawsuit?
KAYLA: No, no, no, he named it granula, but a similar product was already named granula. And so he renamed it granola. And that's where the word granola comes from. So had this lawsuit not happened, it was also...
SARAH: It would be called granula?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Let me have a granula bar.
KAYLA: Literally. And so then he… Oh, he also invented a way to clean up one's guts of impure materials. It was an enema machine that ran water through the bowel and then followed it with a pint of yogurt, half delivered through the mouth and half delivered through the butt. This invention didn't really catch on.
SARAH: (laughing) A pint? A pint of yogurt? That's so much...
KAYLA: (laughing) That's so much yogurt.
(25:00)
KAYLA: That… That would kill you, right?
SARAH: (laughing) That was not what I was expecting you to say. I thought it was going to be like, I don't know, like vinegar or some shit.
KAYLA: A half pint of yogurt up your ass.
SARAH: How do you even get it up there? Yogurt's not that liquid.
KAYLA: An enema!
SARAH: I know, but yogurt's not that liquidy.
KAYLA: Maybe ye old yogurt was really watery. And then he made some grain breakfast cereals, including cornflakes.
SARAH: Cornflakes do slap.
KAYLA: And he partnered with his brother, Will. His brother wanted to put sugar on the cereal to make it more appetizing, but he wouldn't let him.
SARAH: He said, no frosted flakes in this bitch.
KAYLA: And then he created the Kellogg's cereal.
SARAH: I have a quiz that's on WebMD.com. It's called Quiz Sex Fact or Fiction.
KAYLA: But weren't you happy you learned that?
SARAH: I'm so happy. This first one. How many times a year does the average American couple have sex? It has four options.
KAYLA: Oh okay
SARAH: The first option is already 32. 32.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: 66.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: 89.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: 126.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: To me, it's shocking and upsetting that the lowest number they provided was 32.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I don't like that.
KAYLA: 52 weeks in a year. 52 weeks in a year. So 32 would mean less than once a week. What's the next one?
SARAH: 66.
KAYLA: So that's like a little more than once a week.
SARAH: 89.
KAYLA: Okay. I'm trying to remember. I feel like we must have heard a fact at some point in the creation of this podcast about how many times a week people had sex.
SARAH: But y'all are really doing that every week?
KAYLA: I'm gonna go with the 60 whatever. I feel like that's a good middle between once and twice a week.
SARAH: Okay, that is correct. Oh my god. Married adults under… Sorry, this is so scary to me. Married adults under age 30 say they have sex an average of 109 times a year. That's twice a week. Every week. The average number drops to 70 times a year for 40-somethings
and 52 times a year for people in their 50s. That's still once a week. Every day. No, every week.
KAYLA: I mean...
SARAH: Horrifying.
KAYLA: I guess keep in mind that it's self-report, so...
SARAH: It is self-report.
KAYLA: People could be over-reporting.
SARAH: And this is also people in relationships.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: It's not just people in your life.
KAYLA: Anybody. Yeah.
SARAH: But oh my god. I'm so scared.
KAYLA: I'm very sorry.
SARAH: Horrifying.
KAYLA: Next question.
SARAH: Interesting. So this is actually… In which of the following ways are men's and women's sex drives different? Women are more likely to call themselves bisexual. Women are more influenced by the attitudes of their peer group in decisions about sex. A willing's will… A willing… No. A way… A woman's willingness to perform various sexual practices is more likely to change over time. Or all of the above. I think you have to say all of the above.
KAYLA: Yeah, all of the above questions. Yeah, all of the above. That being an option makes me want to choose it. Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah, it is correct. Experts say women's sexual inclinations are more complicated than men's. Very binary, but I understand that science is being out of science. While men are very rigid and specific about who they become around by, women have less directed sex drives. Researchers say women are more likely to call themselves bisexual and that their sex drives overall are more fluid and can be more heavily influenced by social and cultural factors.
KAYLA: Huh. Interesting.
SARAH: This is the length of the penis one.
KAYLA: We already know!
SARAH: When flaccid, penis size averages around 3.5 inches. Remember how at the beginning of this podcast you had to teach me about growers versus showers?
KAYLA: I do, yes.
SARAH: And I didn't know what that was and it still haunts me to this day.
KAYLA: I'm really, um, sorry.
SARAH: Which gender has a higher preference for leaching orgasm through oral sex women?
KAYLA: Is there only women or men as options?
SARAH: Yeah. How, oh, oh, now we're really getting down to the, the, the real questions that I started asking at the beginning of this podcast.
KAYLA: Oh, good, good. Man, we should have done this before, years ago.
SARAH: Years ago. How long is it before the average man ejaculates during sexual intercourse?
KAYLA: Oh, okay, okay.
SARAH: 3.4, no, there was literally not a three anywhere. 5.4 minutes.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: 9.1 minutes.
(30:00)
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: 18.7 minutes or 32.6 minutes.
KAYLA: I have no idea.
SARAH: I think 9.1.
KAYLA: I have no reference for time.
SARAH: Me neither, but I think it's 9.1.
KAYLA: Okay, sounds good
SARAH: because 32 seems too high. It's 5.4.
KAYLA: Damn.
SARAH: Damn.
KAYLA: That's kind of sad.
SARAH: Well, okay, this is from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation. They didn't specify that in the question.
KAYLA: I mean, once again, I guess I, I still have no concept of time. And I think we had this exact conversation when we had this episode of the podcast, but I don't-
SARAH: Everybody, everybody look at a clock.
KAYLA: I don't know. Yeah, that's what we talked about. I was like, I don't know that I've ever like looked at the clock and then looked back. It's never been my priority.
SARAH: Stress can make a man's penis shrink, true or false? I think it's true.
KAYLA: Bet that's true. Wow.
SARAH: It is true.
KAYLA: Like permanently?
SARAH: No, it's temporary.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. Yeah, well, cause yeah, that makes sense.
SARAH: Older women are more likely to experience orgasm when sex is within the context of a relationship.
KAYLA: Well –
SARAH: What is older women, you know?
KAYLA: First of all, yeah, that. And second of all, like I feel like that has more to do with like societal stuff than like-
SARAH: What do you think the answer is?
KAYLA: I think the answer is, well, read it again.
SARAH: Older women are more likely to experience orgasm when sex is within the context of a relationship.
KAYLA: You know what? Maybe that's not true.
SARAH: Can I tell you?
KAYLA: I don't – Yeah.
SARAH: I said, I said true because I was just like, I want to see what the answer is.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: The answer is false.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Women over age 50. Again, you're giving context in the explanations that you're not given in the question.
KAYLA: Rude
SARAH: Please be more specific in the question. WebMD. Women over age 50 are more likely to report orgasm when a sexual event is with someone who is not a relationship partner. Researchers speculate that many newly divorced or widowed women may find the novelty of a new partner arousing.
KAYLA: See, my first instinct was like, there's, I feel like you don't see women over 50 dating very often, like in media. So I was like, oh, I don't think it happens very often. How much are women over 50 hooking up? But then I was like, well, that's nothing. And also, yeah, if you've been with the same person for a really long time, maybe mixing it up would be better. I don't know.
SARAH: Yeah. Masturbation can improve sexual function, be a sign of sexual dysfunction, cause genital injury, or all of the above.
KAYLA: Well, I like two out of the three.
SARAH: So you like two of the three?
KAYLA: I think two of the three are correct.
SARAH: So, oh, I thought you meant, I thought you were just like really into genital injury.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah. Big genital injury guy over here. No, I feel like the injury one and the improving sexual function seem correct to me.
SARAH: It is all of the above. If a person is compulsive with masturbation to the point of interfering with personal relationships, then they may want to seek help for obsessive behavior.
KAYLA: Okay. Yeah, that's, that's fair.
SARAH: Oh my God. Men, okay, first of all, this is only talking, okay, masturbation can in fact cause injury frequent or overly vigorous masturbation can irritate the skin of the penis. Okay. Well, that's only for penis havers and men who masturbate face down, can in fact cause injury when they masturbate face down, can injure their urethras.
KAYLA: (laughing) You know, I guess I don't often think about the position penis people put themselves in when masturbating, but I, I had never thought about.
SARAH: I'm just imagining them like, you know, like that cat that just puts its face in the ground.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: That's what I'm imagining. But just like directly just squishing face into ground.
KAYLA: Well see. And because then you would think, and I'm sorry, this is a bit graphic, but then if you're facedown and your penis is also facing down, then when the stuff comes out, but what if you're right up against like whatever surface you're laying on and is that how your urethra gets injured? Cause it gets stuck in there.
SARAH: I don’t know man
KAYLA: (laughing) I'm giving Sarah a really good visual.
SARAH: I'm going to go to the next question. Most women under age 60 think about sex less than once a day, true or false? Certainly true for me.
KAYLA: So women under 60
SARAH: think about sex less than once a day.
KAYLA: I'm going to say it's false?
(35:00)
SARAH: It is true. While the majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, only about one quarter of women report this level of frequency, as men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often.
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: Self-reported.
KAYLA: Yeah, who's to say?
SARAH: What percentage of women say they always have an orgasm during sex with their partner? 14, 29, 48, or 74. I want to know what the split is based on the gender of their partner.
KAYLA: Yeah Yeah. So always? I think, unfortunately, it might be under 50%.
SARAH: Well, three of these are under 50%.
KAYLA: Well, that's sad.
SARAH: 14, 29, or 48.
KAYLA: I'll say 48. I'll keep it optimistic.
SARAH: There's no way it's 48. Yeah, it's 29.
KAYLA: Oh, y'all.
SARAH: Most women can have an orgasm without direct stimulation of the clitoris, true or false? False.
KAYLA: Most. Uh, most? I'll say, yeah, most is… You know what I learned in school? When a true or false question says most, then it's, I think, usually false.
SARAH: That is correct. Most women require clitoral, clitoral
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: stimulation to reach orgasm. You're welcome. What percentage of men say they always have an orgasm with sex during their partner? 39, 60, 75, or 93. The fact that for women, three of the numbers were below 50%, and for men, three of the numbers are above 50%.
KAYLA: This is so sad. I'm gonna have to say 93.
SARAH: You're really going for it. No, it's 75. My guesses for all of them were correct.
KAYLA: Oh, thank God.
SARAH: I just want you to know that.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: You always go for the middle one, you know? The G-spot is a sexually sensitive part of a woman's anatomy found on the anterior vaginal wall. True or false?
KAYLA: I don't know what anterior means, but I think that's true.
SARAH: False. Whether the G-spot exists is a matter of debate. Popularized by a 1982 book, the G-spot is a region found behind the pubic bone that has been credited as the trigger for a vaginal versus clitoral orgasm and even a catalyst for female ejaculation. However, some experts note there's no unique and anatomical structure where the G-spot is supposed to be located. If the G-spot exists, it's best described as an erogenous zone rather than a part of a woman's anatomy.
KAYLA: Huh. Interesting.
SARAH: And finally, sexual activity can increase the risk of stroke and heart attack in older people. I want to say yes.
KAYLA: If the Sims has taught me anything.
SARAH: (gasps)
KAYLA: No?
SARAH: False. While people with a history of strokes– I was like, oh, it makes your heart rate go up.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I guess so is exercise, and exercise is good.
KAYLA: Okay, but in the Sims-
SARAH: I’m busy. While people with a history– I'm busy.
KAYLA: But in the Sims, when your Sim is elderly, they can die from woohoo.
SARAH: While people with a history of stroke or heart disease should consult their doctors about sexual activity, for the most part, sex is a healthy form of exercise for older people. Researchers retract 400– Nope. I cannot read numbers today. 914 men for 20 years found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half compared with those who had sex less than once a month. They also found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke.
KAYLA: I mean, I guess, yeah, it's a form of exercise, so I guess that makes sense.
SARAH: This has been our quiz.
KAYLA: Thank you very much.
SARAH: Do we want to do any romances or do we want to just stop?
KAYLA: I'll hit you with a couple. How about that?
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Most of them are Valentine's themed, so-
SARAH: Of course they are.
KAYLA: Sure. I'll just pick out the fun ones if my computer would load. I'm so sweaty. I looked at the weather in the places in Europe I'm going to next month. So cold over there. So nice.
SARAH: Oh, okay.
KAYLA: Okay, anyway. Okay, this is just weird. Before X stood for a kiss, what did it represent at the end of a letter?
SARAH: Sorry, I was reading a message from someone I messaged on Etsy two days ago. Say that again?
KAYLA: Before X stood for a kiss, what did it represent at the end of a letter?
SARAH: The end, period.
KAYLA: Close, the cross.
SARAH: Uh, Jesus.
KAYLA: In the Victorian era, mean-spirited Valentine's Day cards were called blank valentines.
SARAH: Ugly hoe.
KAYLA: Vinegar valentines. From where was the oldest known Valentine's Day message sent?
SARAH: From where?
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: Warsaw.
KAYLA: Prison.
(laughter)
SARAH: It could have been in Warsaw.
KAYLA: Guess the year.
SARAH: 1403.
KAYLA: Close, 1415.
SARAH: Oh my God.
(40:00)
KAYLA: Okay, on average, how many marriage proposals are there on every Valentine's Day?
SARAH: Too many, final answer.
KAYLA: 220,000.
SARAH: Where's that number coming from?
KAYLA: Parade.com.
SARAH: Oh, parade?
KAYLA: No, not that parade. Kissing increases most people's heart rate by how many beats per minute?
SARAH: 20.
KAYLA: 110.
SARAH: By 110?
KAYLA: That's what it says.
SARAH: Do they mean it increases it to 110?
KAYLA: I hope so.
SARAH: Because if you're resting a heart rate, say you're resting a heart rate, like, even if it's low, even if it's like a nice 60, if you add 110 to that, that brings you to 270. And that is a problem. Okay, Sarah from the future here, it brings you to 170, but I have never claimed to be good at math, okay?
KAYLA: In what country is Valentine's Day known as Friends Day?
SARAH: Denmark.
KAYLA: Finland.
SARAH: Okay, but I was in the right region.
KAYLA: You were.
SARAH: I'm so good.
KAYLA: How many people typically buy valentines for their pets?
SARAH: At least three.
KAYLA: Nine million.
SARAH: Hm. How do they define typically?
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: (laughing) Okay
KAYLA: What fruit was once known as a love apple for its alleged aphrodisiac properties?
SARAH: Pomegranate.
KAYLA: Tomato.
SARAH: Boo, tomato, tomato, tomato.
KAYLA: What country has a holiday on the 14th of every month?
SARAH: Your mom.
KAYLA: South Korea.
SARAH: A holiday?
KAYLA: That's what the website says.
SARAH: I don't know that holiday is the correct term here. Although they do, in Korean culture, they do like celebrate like a lot of anniversaries. It's like, oh, it's our two week anniversary. Oh, it's our one month anniversary. Oh, it's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They do do that.
KAYLA: Well, the internet told me that every 14th they have a holiday, so.
SARAH: Okay, well, they certainly don't get off work.
KAYLA: That’s all I have for you
SARAH: Do you have any other facts?
KAYLA: Nope, that's it.
SARAH: Okay, thank you for these facts. Everyone, thank you for joining us.
(laughter)
SARAH: I don't know if she did this on purpose
KAYLA: She left!
SARAH: or if it was an accident, but Kayla just left the Zoom.
KAYLA: She left?
SARAH: I'm guessing it was an accident.
KAYLA: It broke. Was it me?
SARAH: Where did she go?
KAYLA: I'm back.
SARAH: Oh, she's come back.
KAYLA: I don't know what happened.
SARAH: You were just gone. You said, we're done, and okay. You said, thank you for these facts, and then disappeared, and I was like, oh, I guess.
KAYLA: But you also disappeared to me.
SARAH: You disappeared to each other.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Okay. Alright, Kayla, what's our poll for this week? Do you dislike the word girth? Because I do.
KAYLA: No, that's not it. How large is the average erect penis?
SARAH: No. Who was a horse fucker? Catherine the Great of Russia.
KAYLA: No, but we already gave them that answer.
SARAH: I know. What was your least favorite sex fact?
KAYLA: Okay, sounds good.
SARAH: Mine was, I forgot. I blacked it out of my memory. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is that for several months, I had not a lot going on. Pretty bored, and then all of a sudden, everything started happening at once, and I'm like-
SARAH: It's summertime, everything, everywhere, all at once.
KAYLA: What if this had been spread out?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That would have been nice, but it wasn't. My juice, I had several. Let's see how many I can remember. One is a new EP that's out by a person named, let me look it up so I don't get it wrong, Billie Ann. She, I think it was last year or the year before, had a viral cover, acoustic cover of Simply the Best on TikTok, and from that, she got signed on a label, which is very exciting, and then she just came out with her EP, and it's really good.
SARAH: Wow. I can't believe you listened to music.
KAYLA: I know, can you believe it? My other juice is I found a new phone game, and I'm a big phone game guy, so –
SARAH: What is it?
KAYLA: It's called, well –
SARAH: Bitch doesn't even know.
KAYLA: Okay, but on the phone, it just says
(45:00)
KAYLA: under the app, it just says Solitaire, but I know that's not just what the name is, and now it's frozen. Give me the menu.
SARAH: We're never going to know. We're never going to know. She's gatekeeping.
KAYLA: Something about Tiki Solitaire. It's like, oh, it's like a-
SARAH: I believe you. Do you have any more juices?
KAYLA: Just look up Tiki Solitaire. Um, no, that's it.
SARAH: I won't do that. Um, my beef is that I'm fucking sick again. I think it's the same sick, I think I've just re-sicked myself. My guess is that it maybe had something to do with the fact that I basically worked non-stop for 10 and a half hours yesterday, might have been part of it.
KAYLA: That would probably do something.
SARAH: My juice is people who are going on strike for their rights as workers, even if it is inconveniencing people, even if it might inconvenience me, by the time this podcast is out, by the time probably that I even edit it, we will know if the Screen Actors Guild has decided to go on strike. They did, yah, yah, woo, woo, we support strike at work, this is Sarah in the future? I think it's very good that people are fighting for their rights.
KAYLA: I heard that UPS might strike, uh, at the end of the month, and that will definitely impact a lot of my stuff at work. So, yikes.
SARAH: That's the point.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Uh, so you could tell us about your beef, your juice, your favorite strike, on our social media. Although, I also saw a thing about how the last two times that there were major strikes in Hollywood, um, right afterwards was at an economic recession, and how it does, this, the, the trends do match up with what the economy looked like before the strike. Not that the strike caused the recession, but just the, anyway, anyway, you can tell us about your beef, your juice, your favorite strike, your favorite Marxist rebellion, on our social media, @SoundsFakePod. We also have a Patreon, SoundsFakePod.com, nope, Sounds Patre– Patreon.com/SoundsFakePod if you want to become a patron. I recently went through and I cleaned out our patrons, because there were a lot of people who we just, like, hadn't noticed had stopped becoming patrons, because Patreon doesn't have a function, where they email you when someone unpatrons, and I wish they did, and
KAYLA: Rude
SARAH: I checked, and there is no way for them to email you whenever someone cancels.
KAYLA: I mean, you're welcome to everyone we've been shouting out for free.
SARAH: True. I mean, most of them were $2 ones, which we don't say every week anyway, so like, I wasn't super worried about them, but, if I have taken you off the Patreon read, and you think that was done wrongfully, A, check your Patreon, B, if it's there, and we're there, let me know. I may have accidentally taken you off.
KAYLA: Oopsie.
SARAH: I don't think I did, because I counted everything, but you never know. Did we say Megan Lohman last week as a new $2 patron?
KAYLA: I'll be honest, as soon as we record everything that we said leaves, so.
SARAH: I think we did, but Megan, you get a double dip. Congratulations.
KAYLA: Yay, Megan.
SARAH: Our $5 patrons are Brooke Siegel, Byron Rusnak, Cade Archer, Chris Lauretano, the ones who were promoting this week. Also, I'm going to promote a couple that I know we had said before, but for some reason, I stopped saying, I took them off, but they are still patrons
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: and I'm confused about how that happened, but I'm going to name them now. We have CinnamonToastPunch.
KAYLA: Oh my god! The best name!
SARAH: We have Ffinasfs.
KAYLA: Oh my god, all of the good ones.
SARAH: And Galvin Ford.
KAYLA: Man, I feel like we lost some of the best ones.
SARAH: I don't know if maybe those people, no, I feel like it would have told us if they had like taken a patron break and then come back, because it literally notified us that Purple Hayes changed their payment method.
KAYLA: Yeah, man, I don't know.
SARAH: So I'm not sure how you got knocked off, so I'm sorry. But we still love and appreciate you. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Purple Hayes, who would like to promote their friend's podcast, The Host Club, and changing your payment method on Patreon. Barefoot Backpacker
KAYLA: Congratulations
SARAH: who would like to promote their podcast, Travel Tales from Beyond the Brochure, Ruby who would like to promote their blog on Instagram @ASpeculations, and SongofStorm who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance. I wish I had her. Our $15 patrons, oh no, our other $10 patrons, who I, you get it, Alyson, Arcnes, Ben MacLeod, Benjamin Ybarra, Boston Smith, David Harris, Derick and Carissa Albedo, my aunt Jeannie, and Martin Chiesl. Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum
(50:00)
SARAH: the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Click4Caroline, Ace of Hearts, Dia Chapell, Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo, friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Maff, catching up on the podcast after two years, and Nathaniel White, nathanieljwhitedesigns.com.
KAYLA: Can we just take a moment for Nathaniel?
SARAH: You know who I am, where did they go, you know who's still on here, Jennifer Smart. I checked, I checked, Jennifer Smart has been a patron since 2017.
KAYLA: Jennifer Smart and Nathaniel White, I think are the longest, like were some of the first, Jennifer Smart I think might have been the first. Jennifer Smart was the first who we did not, yeah, non like friend or family, and Nathanael White was one of the other very first people
SARAH: hold on, I'm gonna see, I'm checking to see when Nathaniel White became the patron.
KAYLA: And y'all, I don't even know that this is worth paying for now. I certainly know it wasn't worth paying for when y'all started paying for this. So just honestly, huge shout out to y'all, SARAH: Nathaniel's only been a patron since the beginning of 2019, but Nathanael has been a $15 patron since 2017.
KAYLA: That's what I'm saying. So y'all, big shout out, what gems?
SARAH: Jennifer Smart has been a patron since October 5th, 2017.
KAYLA: I love you bitch.
SARAH: You know how old I was on October 5th, 2017?
KAYLA: I don't know if I want to know that.
SARAH: I was 19 years old.
KAYLA: What year was this again?
SARAH: 2017. But it was before my birth, we were born in 97, bestie, easy math.
KAYLA: I'm trying to think if I was dating Dean by then.
SARAH: No, you weren't.
KAYLA: I know, I get my, I don't know my years or numbers.
SARAH: This was like two months after the podcast started.
KAYLA: Okay, yeah, so this far predates Dean. Wow, I can't believe I have a longer relationship with Jennifer Smart than I do with Dean.
SARAH: Well, you knew Dean before then.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah, but not really.
SARAH: Yeah, I knew Dean before then.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: Ha ha ha ha ha. I win.
KAYLA: You win Dean. Congratulations.
SARAH: Anyway, and our $20 patron is Dragonfly who would like to promote me winning Dean. Thanks for listening.
KAYLA: I'll ship him out tomorrow.
SARAH: Thank you. Shipping, it's not shipping up to Boston. It's shipping out from Boston.
KAYLA: Yeah. Lol.
SARAH: To find my wooden leg (singing) doo doo doo doo doo. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more rest in your ears for the last time for like a month. Will it be good? I don't know.
KAYLA: Probably not. But until then, take good care of your cows.
(52:51)