Ep 317: Reddit Rabbit Hole pt 13
Content Notice: Discussions of gun violence, abuse, and police
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl. (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, Reddit Rabbit Hole.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Hi.
SARAH: Hi, how you doing?
KAYLA: I'm good.
SARAH: How has your September been?
KAYLA: Um, okay.
SARAH: Okay. I wasn't really… I wasn't really asking you.
KAYLA: I know you weren't asking me. I know you weren't asking me. I'm aware. I just thought maybe you might be interested in how I'm doing.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, you didn't give an interesting answer.
KAYLA: Well, I was trying to think of like anything interesting I had to share.
SARAH: Kayla, do you remember the 21st night of September?
KAYLA: Um, what day of the week was that?
SARAH: It was Saturday.
KAYLA: Um, yes, I was at my parents' house.
SARAH: Exciting. I was at a house warming party.
KAYLA: Okay. Brag. I felt my sister's baby kick.
SARAH: Ew.
KAYLA: And that was, everyone else was like, “Oh my God, so cute.” And I was like…
SARAH: Ew
KAYLA: I started like gagging, not like not for real, but I was like…
SARAH: Ew
KAYLA: This is gross.
SARAH: I hate it
KAYLA: It was really bizarre.
SARAH: It was brought to my attention recently that like a baby belly for those who are old timers on this podcast, you know, I hate baby bellies.
KAYLA: They’re very
SARAH: They're scary. I don't like them. And it was brought to my attention that like in my head, right? A baby belly is like, you know, like a fake baby belly on TV. It's all the same hardness on the outside.
KAYLA: Oh, I see.
SARAH: But in reality, it's not like a shell, right?
KAYLA: Yeah, it’s squishy
SARAH: So, it's squishy.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, it's a body in there.
SARAH: I don't like that.
KAYLA: It was weird because she was also telling me like, oh, this is where his like head is and where his butt is. And I was like, what the fuck do you mean? Also, speaking of my family, my dad told me when I was home, we got in the car at one point and our latest episodes started playing automatically. And I was like, “ew, ew gross, get it off.” And then he was telling me that a couple episodes ago, I think it was the ‘don't should’ episode, maybe, he said it took us so long at the beginning to get to the point. We were just like yapping for 20 minutes that he turned off the podcast and was like, this is unlistenable. And then he was like, I was like, you know, some people enjoy the chaos. And he was like, well, yeah, I'm sure as they get to know you, they enjoy it. And I was like, ‘what do you mean as they get to know us? You know us best.”
SARAH: What are you talking about?
KAYLA: It was so crazy.
SARAH: Kevin, please.
KAYLA: Ooh, my parents are visiting relatively soon. Should I have them do a cameo on the pod?
SARAH: That could be fun.
KAYLA: I think they'll be around for a record night.
SARAH: Oh my God. Charming.
KAYLA: Indeed. Should we yap for 20 more minutes to bother my dad?
SARAH: We have housekeeping.
KAYLA: We do have housekeeping.
SARAH: I just remembered it.
KAYLA: Take that, Kevin. We're never going to get to the point.
SARAH: We're never getting there. Is your housekeeping the same housekeeping that I'm thinking of?
KAYLA: I don't have any housekeeping. I was, I was talking about the housekeeping that you have.
SARAH: Great. So, um, I don't know about you, but I…
KAYLA: I'm feeling 22.
SARAH: I'm, I'm feeling like 26 and like, uh, 23, 24.
KAYLA: Wow. That's really lucky that you feel that way.
SARAH: Just so you know
KAYLA: Pretty convenient.
SARAH: Um, okay. There is an election in the United States coming up. You might know this. I'm sure you do. In fact, even if you don't live in this place, I'm sure you've heard about it. And I hate phone banking. I refuse to do it because it's scary. And I text banked once or twice in 2020, but it really stressed me out and I did not like it. Uh, so what I do to make myself feel not as horrible about everything is I like to send letters through ‘Vote Forward,’ which is just this website where basically it comes up with people who are like unlikely voters or like less likely voters and you send them a little mail and you're like, “Hey, this is why I vote. Hey, this is all the information you need.” And they've done a bunch of studies that shows that it does like improve turnout.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: I was looking at their science the other day. It was, it was interesting.
KAYLA: It also feels a lot better to me than, and I know this sounds bad. It's feels better to me than sending a letter to a representative because I know that so many letters that get sent to reps are just copy and pasted and everyone is sending the same thing.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And at this point I'm sure representatives have ways of just not looking at any of those letters.
SARAH: Oh yeah. They filter their stuff out.
KAYLA: So, like at this point it's like, does it even do anything? But like this feels like a very actionable thing to do to get people to vote.
SARAH: Yeah. They are hard copy letters. You have to hand write them. You have to hand write the envelope. Like it's part of the thing that makes them effective.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And they just started a thing where you can like make a little page where all your friends can collect your vote together. And so, I made one for Sounds Fake Pod. So, if you want to join me in sending some letters through the mail, I do not know if you are legally allowed to do it if you are not in the US, I don't think you probably can.
KAYLA: Probably shouldn't. I don't think it's really in the spirit.
SARAH: Probably shouldn't. Not in the right spirit, but anyway, I've done this, I have been sending letters with ‘Vote Forward’ for like, so I think it said my first campaign was in like 2018. So, you can join my little thing and you can see how many voters I've adopted. I have adopted 45, which is kind of crazy. I've never done that.
KAYLA: Oh my God, Sarah
SARAH: I've never done that many before.
KAYLA: Sarah is better than the rest of us. You heard it here first.
SARAH: I'm using my employer's printer.
KAYLA: I love that. Are you using your employer stamps too?
SARAH: Yes, but you can see how many people are whatever. And by the time this podcast is up, the main sending period is between October 1st and October 29th. You're not supposed to send before and they want you to send as early as possible within that window. So, it is prime time for sending letters.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I was stalking their Instagram and there were people who were like, I've got 1000 letters. And I was like, what?
KAYLA: Wow. Wouldn't your hand hurt?
SARAH: I mean, I've seen people like do like, they do like letter writing parties and like, it'll be like a thing where like a group meets up every however. But like, I'm sorry, you did 1000?
KAYLA: My hand would fall off.
SARAH: That's a lot of stamps too.
KAYLA: It is a lot of stamps. Good for them.
SARAH: Anyway, you can join. I currently set the goal to be 75 letters because I like to set expectations low.
KAYLA: Very good. I think you should have done 69, but that's fine.
SARAH: Okay. I mean, I can always change it.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: But I'm currently the only one on here. And you can see that I've adopted 45 voters. So, join me if you're…
KAYLA: So, you're gonna write 45 letters?
SARAH: I already did.
KAYLA: You already did?
SARAH: They give you a printout with like the information. And then you just like, hand write in the section like, this is why I vote blah, blah, blah, blah.
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: And I already did all the writing. I have… five of them, I still have to do the envelopes. But I did, the rest of them are ready to go.
KAYLA: So, you hand wrote 45 letters?
SARAH: Yeah, over the course of like, three weeks.
KAYLA: Okay, all right.
SARAH: You adopt like five at a time.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And so, I'm not adopting more than like 15 on any given day.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Like I only do more when I'm like, “I have time. I'm going to adopt five more.” I adopted some North Carolina voters today.
KAYLA: Very nice. Where do they get these people's information?
SARAH: Everywhere.
KAYLA: Okay, great.
SARAH: But this year, I've got Michigan voters, I've got Ohio voters, I've got Nebraska voters, I've got California voters, and I've got North Carolina. Also, Georgia. Sorry to forget you, Georgia.
KAYLA: Beautiful.
SARAH: Anyway, the URL for that, probably useful to give that information. We'll put it in the description, but it's Vote Fwd, V-O-T-E F-W-D. So fwd, no vowels, and also no R. Fwd like in email.
KAYLA: Like in email. Yeah.
SARAH: Votefwd.org/goal-page/soundsfakepod.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Is where you'll find us. So, join my party and write letters with me. Kayla, what are we talking about this week? That took so long.
KAYLA: We're talking about, I was gonna say we're talking about assholes, but that's not the case anymore, is it?
SARAH: Many of them are assholes.
KAYLA: I mean maybe, but. We're doing Reddit.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Everyone's favorite.
SARAH: Everyone's favorite.
KAYLA: These episodes get so many more listens than the rest of them do. Not so many more, but like...
SARAH: I'm so glad…
KAYLA: I know, because…
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Because it makes me feel better about doing them
KAYLA: I know, because it feels so lazy, but they're so fun.
SARAH: All right, hit me with, girl, I don't know, any number between one and 30.
KAYLA: Seven.
SARAH: Okay, you're unable to view this post because this account owner limits who can view their post.
KAYLA: I love it.
SARAH: Give me a different number.
KAYLA: Eight.
SARAH: Oh, my God. Okay, this is a TikTok, so let me... I have to Google it because I clearly didn't put it in the effort before.
KAYLA: Uh-oh.
SARAH: See, I hope it's still there. It is. It's from like two years ago. It's from three years ago. Okay, are you ready?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: This is an AITA, for the record.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Am I the asshole for not letting my girlfriend wear her, quote, unique dress to a wedding?
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Throw away account because she uses Reddit. My (male 25) girlfriend (female 30) Nat, has a very particular sense of style. Picture Harley Finkel from Wizards of Waverly Place, you will get the idea.
KAYLA: Oh, oh
SARAH: Okay, so for our listeners who are not familiar with the Disney Channel television program, Wizards of Waverly Place.
KAYLA: One of the best Disney Channel programs.
SARAH: Can you describe Harley Finkel's fashion sense?
KAYLA: I think the best way to describe it is to describe the outfit of hers that is most memorable.
SARAH: The markers?
KAYLA: Yes. So, all of her outfits were clearly looked like they were made by her from anything.
SARAH: They were like themed. It was giving Mrs. Frizzle.
KAYLA: It really is. So, there's one outfit that I guess is...
SARAH: Is she a Mrs. or a Miss Frizzle? Miss Frizzle
KAYLA: I think she's Miss Frizzle.
SARAH: I don't know why I just made her married.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fucked up, Sarah.
SARAH: Damn, I'm sorry.
KAYLA: On my aspec podcast. So, there's this one outfit...
SARAH: She's absolutely aspec. Are you kidding me?
KAYLA: Can I speak?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's this dress and the skirt. I think the whole skirt is made of markers.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like Crayola, like, you know, the washable markers.
SARAH: Yeah. Like the markers are the skirt.
KAYLA: Are the skirt. And then I think at the top, like the neckline also has like a string of markers. So, she's just always wearing... It looks like a craft and that's her outfit.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I think there was like a rubber duck one.
SARAH: Yeah. Do you ever see that person on TikTok who like has an insane fashion sense and it's like a more is more situation and they always post...They're like, this is what I'm wearing to this event and the outfits are always insane, but like, you have to respect it because like this person clearly knows their vibe.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then there are, of course, in the comments, there are always people being like, “this is the ugliest thing I've ever seen.” And it's like, okay, clearly you haven't been here before because those of us who have been here before know how to appreciate this art.
KAYLA: Yeah. It might not be for you, but it's art.
SARAH: It's for her and she's wearing it.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway. Okay, we continue. Don't get me wrong, I never had a problem with that, her dressing. Her dressing. Her Caesar salad dressing.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: In fact, I love the way she dresses because she loves to do so and I am happy if she is happy. The thing is, sometimes she likes to incorporate memes into her clothes. No problem. It's cute.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: But now she wants to wear a dress inspired by the meme Gay Rat Wedding.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: To my friend's wedding.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: He and his fiancé are gay.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I told her, maybe that is not really appropriate. The dress in question would be full of little stuffed rats, pride flags, and a big I support gay rats on the front.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: My friend is not a big fan of the way my girlfriend dresses…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And I think this dress may cause uncertain uproar in the wedding. Now Nat is upset with me and claiming that I am throwing water in her flame of creativity. The wedding is next month, so she has plenty of time to think about another thing to wear. Should I just let her go with the dress? Am I the asshole in this situation? We have an update.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Well guys, as many of you pointed out in the comments, me getting a throwaway account didn't help. She found the post. Guess I was too specific after all. I will update soon. Also, did you- is Nat her real name?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like, why would-
KAYLA: Wait, is there no update after that?
SARAH: No, there is, don’t worry.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Hello everyone. I would like to thank you all for your judgment, advice, and opinion on my post. It was greatly appreciated. So, the conversation did not go well.
KAYLA: I bet.
SARAH: She was livid with me for exposing her in this way. And although I showed her the comments, most important, the ones from the LGBTQIA community, she refused to admit that her dress was a poor choice, saying it was in fact her way to appreciate the gays. That did not sit well with me. Love can move mountains, but cannot maintain a relationship with a homophobic person. So now I am going to the wedding, a single rat-free dress man. I did reach out to my friend and sent him this post, he thought the situation to be hilarious, but if she did show up in the dress, he would definitely kicked us to the curb, I guess this is all. And then, PS, I'm deeply sorry for misspelling Harper's name, it won't happen again. Oh, because her name is Harper. It's not Harley. I was like, that doesn't sound right. Harper. It's Harper.
KAYLA: It is Harper. So, is he saying that the girlfriend was homophobic?
SARAH: He- I- that's kind of how he shorthanded it. I think more so the situation was like, she was not willing to compromise. She was not willing to listen to actual queer people who were saying this was a problem.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And she was like, no, this is just me appreciating the gays. And she wasn't willing to budge.
KAYLA: So, were there- were there comments from the LGBTQIA people being like, “I hate this?”
SARAH: Yeah. Let's head to the comments, shall we?
KAYLA: Because, well, just to- before I'm swayed by comments, I think my reaction- because I love the gay rat wedding meme. We all love the gray rat wedding meme.
SARAH: For my sister's bachelorette party, I got stickers that- I got gay rat wedding stickers and I gave them to everyone.
KAYLA: Perfect. I love that. So, like, if I was getting gay married, and one of my friends was an eccentric dresser and wore that, I think it would really depend on the person.
SARAH: It would. And I think also of import here is that- is that this Nat is not directly friends with the grooms.
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: She is dating someone who is friends with the grooms.
KAYLA: Right. It would have to be someone I know well.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And I think unless it was a straight person that I like really trusted and was like, you're one of the gay, you know, like you're an honorary gay. Like that, you know, then I feel very- I don't like voyeuristic is the right word. But it's, you know.
SARAH: Yeah. It would also be another thing if like that person themselves, like you knew them to be queer, but the implication is that this person is not queer, so.
KAYLA: Right. If they were queer themselves, I think that makes it like, I'd be like, yes, excellent.
SARAH: Do it.
KAYLA: But yeah, that's a bit odd to me.
SARAH: Yeah. Comments. Everyone is saying not the asshole. That's very inappropriate for a wedding, not to mention kind of insulting. Add to it that it completely makes her the center of attention when it should be about the couple.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I think that's a big one. Like it's making her the center of attention.
KAYLA: Yes. Especially if it's not… because some people have weddings, I've seen recently a trend of people saying the dress code is like outdo the bride and groom, which I think is so fun.
SARAH: Outdo the bride and groom, yeah.
KAYLA: But it just… that's not what this wedding was clearly.
SARAH: Yeah. Like obviously when that is the theme that is communicated.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: As Risen says, “I'd say it's pretty insulting. You're going to a gay wedding and wearing a dress that says I support gay rats. So, you're basically calling the soon to be married couple rats, which to me is not very classy.”
KAYLA: No, that's a really good… Again, if it was your friend, it's one thing, but it's yeah.
SARAH: Also, like even if the grooms get the reference, there will be people at the wedding who don't
KAYLA: Yes. Yes, absolutely
SARAH: Who do not get the reference.
KAYLA: And then they're going to think it's insulting. And then they're going to, you know, how old people like to kick up a fuss at a wedding.
SARAH: Yeah. Also, this person says, to be fair, it's not that you aren't letting her, you can't stop her and you're not pretending you can. Nobody can paint you to be controlling in this. All you're doing is telling her how unbelievably crass it would be to wear that dress, how disrespectful it would be seen… how disrespectful it would seem, how poorly it would be received, and overall, how much of a weapons grade flaming asshole she would be to wear it to these guys wedding. Not the asshole. Holy shit. Does she not see how incredibly dehumanizing and objectifying what she wants to do is? It's a gay wedding, so that makes a meme about rats a good fit. Throw some rainbow shit at it. The gays love rainbows seems to be… seems to broadly summarize her take. And that's the thing is like, I do think that the dress she is describing is funny.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Objectively funny.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: But there are a couple of things that contribute to why I think that. First of all, I know the meme.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I know that the meme is meant in it, good fun, right?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I also… it's so strange to me that I understand that she likes to make outfits based off of like memes and stuff, but in the context of a wedding, why is a meme the most appropriate thing? Like you could theme that dress about any other gay wedding idea. You could you could make an aggressively pride dress, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Making it about this meme for the wedding is just weird.
KAYLA: The thing that really sets it over the edge for me is one, the sign on it that says, “I support gay rats,” because that is completely making it about you.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's an I statement that is… that is just you saying, look at me, I'm cool and I support gay people.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: The other thing is the pride flags, because I'm not saying that queer people don't wear have pride flags, I have one behind me. But to me, it's a very like straight thing to do to be like, “oh, how do I make this queer?” slap a rainbow on it?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like actual queer people, again, not saying they don't, but you know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's like there are other ways to make things queer coded that if it was a queer person making a gay rat wedding dress, I don't think that they would make it by putting pride flags on. You know what I mean?
SARAH: Right. Or it would be more subtle than that. They would use it differently.
KAYLA: Yes, exactly
SARAH: Yeah, I agree. Also, the fact that like OP knows that the grooms don't love how she dresses.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And I understand coming to her, it's a difficult situation to approach with her being like, “hey, my friends hate how you dress.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like, I do get that. But like, it's their wedding.
KAYLA: It is tough. But don't you think that if you are that eccentric of a dresser, do you lose the right to be offended?
SARAH: You should know when to turn it off and on
KAYLA: But like, I don't want to… Do you lose the right to be offended?
SARAH: I think…
KAYLA: If it is a Harper from Wizards of Waverly Place level of dressing, are you allowed to be offended when someone tells you you can't wear that to a wedding?
SARAH: I think… To a wedding? No. Like, if it's like to the grocery store, like, nah, fuck it. I'll wear whatever I want to the grocery store.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like, I also think that… just thinking of that girl on TikTok who wears the insane outfits, and people are always... People be hating.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: She understands that that is coming for her. Like, she is prepared to deal with, especially when she's posting on the internet. She's prepared to deal with the onslaught of stuff.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It doesn't mean she deserves it or that it's not difficult at times.
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: But like, I have seen her put together wedding outfits. And she always clarifies, basically, the people being wed are okay with me dressing like that. Like, she's very self-aware. And honestly, some of her wedding outfits have been quite toned down for her. To a layman, it would still look insane.
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: But for her, it's pretty toned down. Because she's aware of some social norms and expectations. Maybe we should be abiding by them. Just sometimes. Occasionally.
KAYLA: I think... I mean, we come up against so much wedding stuff when we do these Reddit episodes.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Weddings are becoming increasingly fascinating to me. Just the way that the social norms are and how many problems they cause.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Also, most weddings have a dress code. I don't think that meets a dress code.
KAYLA: Right. That's what I was just thinking about. Is, yes, most weddings do have an explicit dress code. Which makes it like... You can't just not follow that.
SARAH: It's like how a lot of times people... I can't think of a place where it would have this dress code. But you hear people being like, you can't wear shirts with words on it.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like I feel like anything with words on it implied at a wedding. No.
KAYLA: Weird. Yes. I just... It’s like… Weddings are a huge gala, basically.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: A huge event that you are getting to go to for free. If you were going to... You paid for a ticket to go to a gala, to a nice dinner…
SARAH: It's not the Met Gala.
KAYLA: Dancing. And there was a dress code on the invitation. If you didn't show up in that dress code, you would get turned away.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That should be your same expectation going to a wedding. Which is just a free, fancy party for you.
SARAH: Yeah. The wedding is not about her. She should not wear anything inappropriate. She should not wear anything that will draw too much attention away from the bride and groom. “Updated rules of wedding attire. No wearing white. No rat dresses. Can't believe this needs to be clarified.” But I also think if... It's reminding me a little bit of when people travel to other countries, more conservative countries, or they go into the Vatican or into a mosque and they... The Vatican has requirements about what you can and cannot wear in their holy buildings, whatever. And if you do not meet those requirements, you have to put on something over it.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like that's just how that works. Or if you go inside a mosque, if you are a woman, you should probably wear a head covering because that's just the polite, respectful thing to do. And this is a situation where it's like, obviously wearing a fucking rat dress is not the polite and respectful thing to do given the context and given all the information we have. Or this person says, “the wedding is not her chance to make creative splash. She needs to take a step back as a guest at a friend's wedding and let the day be about the couple.”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It sounds like she's trying to do performance art at someone else's wedding.
KAYLA: Yes, absolutely.
SARAH: Anyway, that's an asshole. Give me another number. You can honestly go up into the 20s. Who cares? I don't know.
KAYLA: 22.
SARAH: Fuck ass. The fuck ass is me for once again doing a video.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Whatever. We'll just… we'll do this. It's fine. Okay. My husband and I are only married in name and are waiting for his racist father to die.
KAYLA: Oh, it's not funny. It isn't. It isn't.
SARAH: I'm in a marriage of convenience with my friend. We have been married for 12 years. He is quite well off due to trust funds and allowances, but he's unable to access a good portion of his money until his father dies. His father is a racist asshole who I quite frankly hope burns in hell, but my friend wants to be able to provide for himself and his partner who is a person of color woman.
KAYLA: Wait.
SARAH: They live together and have three children who his father will never meet. Okay, so the friend has a partner.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: That partner is a person of color.
KAYLA: So, they… Okay. So, the writer is married to the friend.
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: The friend is, unbeknownst to the father, partnered with a woman of color, and they have three children.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So, the dad said he would withhold his allowance unless he hurried up and married a good woman. So, my friend approached me with an offer, marry him and he'll buy me a house and after his father dies, we'll divorce.
KAYLA: Oh. Um, yeah.
SARAH: He even offered a prenup that stated I'm entitled to 25% of all of his assets, no question to ask at the time of the divorce. That's a good fucking deal.
KAYLA: Wow. Wow
SARAH: I'm asexual and have no interest in romance, so I had nothing to lose and agreed.
KAYLA: Oh my God, it’s perfect.
SARAH: His father thinks we're having fertility issues and have had unsuccessful rounds of IVF. I get a monthly allowance from him, that means I don't have to work. And the only conditions that… You don't have to work at all? How much money does this guy's family have? The only conditions are I have to go to Sunday dinners and hold on to his arm and at any family events he's obligated to attend. He never stays overnight in my home that he got me that is in my name and I often hang out with him and his partner and their kids. I'm honestly super happy with this arrangement and I just see it as a great way to get after his prick dad who doesn't deserve shit, basically.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: My own parents are aware of the situation, but none of my friends know and I don't see a need to tell them. That's it.
KAYLA: Whoa. Whoa
SARAH: I mean, what are the friends gonna be like, “oh, how did you afford this house?” I mean, like, if you're just friends, but I would still probably tell all of my friends. I would be like, yeah, this crazy thing is happening.
KAYLA: The only part… okay, the whole rest of it is a fucking dream and I want to read this book because that would be such a slay book. Like, it's just so good.
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: Why wouldn't you tell your friends? Because then now you're also not only lying to his family, but your friends about like, I have a husband.
SARAH: Yeah, that is a little weird.
KAYLA: I mean, you have to lie about like where he lives and like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That seems weird a bit to me.
SARAH: Yeah, it's a little weird. This person is saying, “you are going against his will. It's not your money after all. Don't give a fuck.”
KAYLA: It is. He gave it to her.
SARAH: No, but like the racist dad’s money is...
KAYLA: Oh, who cares?
SARAH: Like, who cares? This person says, “those kids are going to grow up with a really cool aunt.”
KAYLA: Yeah. It makes me wonder what the age of the kids is because at some point these kids are going to find out about this
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Whether they are, you know, 25 at the time and that is going to be so good.
SARAH: Yeah. Or this person says, “not the lavender marriage, but for racism. Honestly, she's living the dream right now. But I'd still either get a job or go to school if I were her, so you're not out on your own once the divorce goes through and the 25% runs out.” Very fair.
KAYLA: Yeah, I was thinking about that. Like, you're not working right now, but that… yeah, what are you going to do when you don't get a monthly allowance anymore? And I mean, 25% of his assets might be a lot of money, but.
SARAH: Right. This person says, “I'm glad that the actual wife slash partner…” like his real partner, is happy with it and that OP enjoys hanging out with them. It's a good arrangement.
KAYLA: That’s so fucking cool
SARAH: Like, I'm sure it really sucks to be the partner where like your partner's dad is horribly racist and like would disown him.
KAYLA: Yeah
[00:30:00]
SARAH: But like the fact that like you still have a community with your husband's… your partner's legal wife.
KAYLA: Yeah. The husband also like seems to have put a lot of effort into this plan, a lot of time and money and effort.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So clearly, he cares about staying with his real partner because if he didn't care, he would have just been like, well, I guess this isn't going to work out and we're not going to be together. But clearly, he wanted to make this work.
SARAH: It is crazy to me, though, that they have dinner every week.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Or at least or at least regularly. And no one knows he has three children.
KAYLA: For 12 years keeping that up, you'd think that it's not just the father he's lying to at that point. I mean, do the cousins know? Do like aunts and uncles?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Is he lying to the entire family? Like…
SARAH: It is interesting because this is from @Ask the Reddit 101. And so, they're… like that first comment, there are people who like have a problem with this.
KAYLA: Of course, there are
SARAH: People being like, “I hope the dad finds out.” “So, they're going against the father's beliefs but want his money, that's so pathetic.” “Imagine the level of entitlement. All of you despise this senior, yet all of you want his hard-earned money, this is ridiculous.” First of all, we don't know that his money is hard-earned.
KAYLA: If the kid has a trust, that makes me feel as though the money was hard-earned by someone two to three generations ago.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: And maybe not even hard-earned.
SARAH: Yeah. There are definitely a good handful of people in the comments being like, you're a horrible person. But most of them are like, this sounds fucking great.
KAYLA: Yeah, it does sound fucking great. That's a dream. When are you going to have a friend who asks you for this arrangement?
SARAH: “Professional designated white person.”
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: This person says the best thing you've done is not tell your friends, the less amount of people who know the better.
KAYLA: Yeah, that is fair. That is fair. Did they have a whole wedding, do you think?
SARAH: I'm guessing it was a courthouse situation.
KAYLA: That's so crazy.
SARAH: And a lot of people being like, dude, where can I sign up?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, I want this.
KAYLA: I need you to have that so that I can profit off of you being rich.
SARAH: Okay, I'll think about it.
KAYLA: Okay, great.
SARAH: All right, give me another number.
KAYLA: Wow, that was wild. Um, three.
SARAH: This one is quite intense.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Trigger warning, guns.
KAYLA: Okay, good to know.
SARAH: If you want to skip this one, jump to 36:25. Thank you. “My husband turned into a psychopath for a split-second yesterday, and I don't know if I'm overreacting. I want to say that my husband has never ever behaved like this before. This is the first he's ever scared me and I have no idea what to do. I am 23 weeks pregnant with our first baby…
KAYLA: Ooh
SARAH: And we have been married for three years. I am female 24 and he is male 32.” Yeah, you got married when you were 21 and he was 29. Okay. Okay. “My husband owns firearms and works in law enforcement.” Red flag, red flag, red flag.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: “And is trained to handle them safely.” To be clear, the red flag is working in law enforcement.
KAYLA: Yes, obviously.
SARAH: “They stay locked in a safe at home and he has never once played around with them. All of that is for context. So as for what happened yesterday, I was simply walking through the kitchen as I noticed my husband at the counter looking at one of the firearms. I didn't say anything, but I looked over at him wondering what he was doing. He'd gotten home from work, right. And right before this, we talked for a bit. We had dinner and I took a shower. Everything was good and normal. As I looked at him, my husband looked up at me and stared for a second and blinked and then picked the gun up and pointed it at my tummy with a completely straight face.”
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: “My heart fucking dropped, of course. And I smacked the gun down. My husband then started laughing, but the split second of pure seriousness on his face was terrifying. I asked him why the fuck he did that. And he said, do you think it scared him? Talking about, I assume the baby.”
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: “I don't know what to say, but tears welled up in my eyes. This prompted a half an hour-long apology and hours of comfort from him with claims that he wasn't thinking, but also just joking. The look in his eyes scared me. The fact that he pointed the gun at me is terrifying. I don't know what to do. I'm so upset. I'm so distraught. Am I overreacting?”
KAYLA: Um, no, not overreacting.
SARAH: That's wild.
KAYLA: Um…
SARAH: Also, here... Okay. OP, there was an update. “I talked to my brother, also in law enforcement.” Red flag, red flag, red flag. “And while he agreed, it was really scary. He told me I may have been overreacting a bit and quote hormonal.”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: “That is why I came here to be honest, looking for assurance.”
KAYLA: Um
SARAH: And this person says, “way to go cop brother. You're definitely helping cops look better too.”
KAYLA: I don't even know what to say about that.
SARAH: The kind of… the top reply says, “many abusers don't reveal themselves until the woman is ‘caught,’ either just married or pregnant and past the point of abortion. 40% of law enforcement are abusers. She should get counseling alone to start. This will get worse. The apologies are the honeymoon phase of abuse.”
KAYLA: That is… ugh
SARAH: The statistics about how many law enforcement officers are abusers is terrifying.
KAYLA: I mean, it's, you have to think about what kind of person wants to do that job.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It is an absolutely unthinkable job.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Who would want to do that?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's like my thoughts on who would want to be the president? It is a very specific type of person who wants to go into law enforcement.
SARAH: Yeah. If you're listening to this podcast and you're in law enforcement, why?
KAYLA: Here's the thing is I have met, um, I think one singular person in the last couple of years who works in law enforcement, who is a genuinely good person who like also was like, I don't want to be here and it was like fighting it from the inside, but it's, yeah.
SARAH: I, in terms of the people I personally know, who I have a personal relationship with, I know one person who was in law enforcement, but they were not in law enforcement when I first met them.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: There's someone I went to high school with who is a black lesbian and she is a cop in Texas.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know, I don’t know about all that
SARAH: Like I don’t… I don't know about all that. Anyway, this person says, “10-year age gap, pregnant, law enforcement, it's like abuser bingo over here.”
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, yeah.
SARAH: All right. Give me another.
KAYLA: Okay. Not one like that, please.
SARAH: Okay. Uh, give me a number. And if it's like that, I will ask you for a different number.
KAYLA: Okay. Uh, six.
SARAH: You're unable to view this post because this account… uh, I want to go, I'm going to go deeper. There's… this one, I just said, “buying a truck you can't afford.”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: That's the description of this. So, let's see what this is. This one is pretty far down, which means it has been in this doc for a while. So, I don't really remember it. All right. It is from true off my chest. “My boyfriend and I were supposed to move in together, two weeks ago he bought an $87,000 truck without telling me”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: “I refuse to move in with him.”
KAYLA: It's a pretty expensive truck.
SARAH: I don't know… I don't know that these are Americans and it actually doesn't have a dollar sign. So, I'm not even sure what the currency is.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: But I think either way, it's, it's tough. Even if it's 87,000 Canadian dollars
KAYLA: It's expensive truck.
SARAH: Even if it's 87,000 Australian dollars, if it's 87,000 euros, fuck me. If it's 87,000 pounds, fuck me.
KAYLA: Yeah. Also, who in Europe is buying a truck that expensive?
SARAH: That's true. They're probably in North America. Okay. This person says, “I'm very annoyed. He didn't even speak to me about it. We had so many discussions about moving in together, getting married, and then he goes and purchases a truck 2k more than his yearly salary.” So, home dog makes 85k a year and he bought an 87k truck.
KAYLA: I don't think you're supposed to do that.
SARAH: If you're asking how can a truck be $87,000
KAYLA: That’s a good question
SARAH: That's the price… because I'm assuming it's like a pickup truck. It's not like a fucking…
KAYLA: Well, that’s also…
SARAH: Semi, the 18-wheeler
KAYLA: Yeah, a pickup truck with every available add on feature.
SARAH: Well, that's what she said. She says, “if you're asking how a truck can be $87,000, that's the price you get when you put every addition you want on it.”
KAYLA: I know. So that's custom.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You can't drive onto a lot and they have a fully kitted out car.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You have to order that.
SARAH: It like takes time. You have to think about it.
KAYLA: And they ship it across the ocean.
SARAH: Well, if it's a US-made truck, you might not have to ship it across the ocean, but you might have to ship certain parts. It doesn't matter.
KAYLA: It’d be… Yeah.
SARAH: Regardless, regardless. “He showed me the truck expecting me to be excited and I was livid. When he bought this truck, we were only a month from moving in together. We got into a bad argument where he told me it was his money and he could do whatever he wanted with it. So, I said, fine. And told him, I'm not comfortable moving in with him anymore. I asked my landlord if my apartment was still available and if I could renew my lease. And they said, yes. Now my boyfriend is saying he can't afford his place and his truck.”
KAYLA: I bet not.
SARAH: “I don't feel bad. You should have thought of that before buying something so expensive without talking to your girlfriend of two years. I have had some of his friends, girlfriends reach out to me and say I should support him. And even one says that I'm not loyal and this shows I shouldn't, I wouldn't support him if we were married since I run away when the finances get bad. That's bullshit, he didn't lose his job or get hurt, he bought an expensive item without discussing it. I've been trying to get him to return the truck because it's already affecting his finances badly. He has only had this truck for two weeks and he is worried that in the next month or two, he won't be able to cover all the expenses he usually has. This past weekend, we had another argument and I think our relationship is going to end. I'm not helping him pay for this truck and I'm not moving in with him. I have asked for a break and I'll be thinking about what to do. “
[00:40:00]
SARAH: “Update. I appreciate the different opinions everyone has given me. I have a lot to think about. To answer two questions, no, he doesn't need the truck. He works from home and if he has to check in at work, he has an office. Also, his friends and their girlfriends know about this issue because he asked for their views when we went to a get together last week. Only two girlfriends reached out to me to tell me I wasn't being supportive. The others have minded their business.”
KAYLA: To me, it really feels like the only reason he got this truck is because he thought they were moving in together and that she was going to be paying for a bunch of his stuff.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Or that he was going to pull the, oh, you're using, you're driving my truck, so you need to pay for it too.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: What the fuck?
SARAH: Apparently in another update, they found out that the dude is paying almost $2,000 a month.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: For 72 months at 14% interest. At interest?
KAYLA: Yeah, probably interest.
SARAH: For this $95,000 truck.
KAYLA: That's second rent.
SARAH: Uh-huh. That's second rent in an expensive city.
KAYLA: Yes. Yeah, that is second rent in somewhere like where you and I live.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: What? Why would you do it? Also, it seems like it came out of nowhere.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It doesn't sound like he usually makes large purchases.
SARAH: And it's like, they clearly had talked about moving in together. That's the only thing that they put much time and thought into. And so, he should have known that his girlfriend would have been upset if he does this.
KAYLA: Right.
SARAH: But he was just thinking about himself and he was like, haha, she'll pay for it. It's fine. But…
KAYLA: I just don't understand how you could look at those numbers, know what you make in a year. Because even if they were splitting rent at a place, that's not gonna make such a drastic difference that you can suddenly afford to pay that much a month for a car.
SARAH: No. No fucking way.
KAYLA: Because that's also only paying off the car. Not counting all of the other expenses that come with having a car.
SARAH: Yeah. Even if he, let's say, home dog has an hourly job and off the top of his head, he doesn't know what his full yearly wages are. What his full yearly take home wages are.
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Okay. But you should be able to look at an $87,000 truck and say, “yeah, I think that's more than what I make.”
KAYLA: And also, if you're gonna make a purchase like that, maybe spend some time calculating what you think your yearly is.
SARAH: Also, who the fuck approved him for this?
KAYLA: They approve anyone
SARAH: I'm sure there is some predatory loan shit happening.
KAYLA: Yes. I'm sure someone would absolutely take that because they know that he's not gonna pay it off and then they're just gonna make a ton of money off of him.
SARAH: Yeah. This comment's like, “dude, you only get one life. Fucking enjoy it. No point saving up for retirement. It may not even come.” This person was like…
KAYLA: Is that a real comment?
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: And this person's like, okay, well, when this guy in a few months, you know, when they repossess his truck and he's still deeply in debt.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's not about saving money at that point. That's having enough money to live right now.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because if he's… clearly, he didn't have anything saved up if he's paying off monthly.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Like if he was spending money he had saved for retirement, he wouldn't have had to pay monthly and take out a loan.
SARAH: Or he would have been able to put more money down and he wouldn't have had to pay that much monthly.
KAYLA: Yes. And for 72 months.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So clearly this is money that he just has never had.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Wild. Wild.
KAYLA: Men.
SARAH: This person says, “I live in a rural area where 45k a year is considered good pay. Somehow, I see a lot of 60k plus trucks.”
KAYLA: I will say when we lived in Louisiana and Dean was working for the Department of Revenue, it is extremely common, especially in the area where we were living, it was not the most wealthy area. Also, just the cost of living down there is much less expensive. So, people just don't make as much. And it was extremely common for people to spend money they did not have on really expensive sports cars and then get in wrecks and go in debt. It was like a statewide issue.
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: Like, why are you doing that? And we saw them all the time. There's people all the time in the city driving super recklessly in these crazy sports cars.
SARAH: Yeah, you see that here.
KAYLA: And we all knew like you don't have the money to be driving that and especially driving it the way they did. Like, why are you doing that?
SARAH: What are you doing? Yeah. Like, okay, I have my 2017 Ford Focus and I'm going to be driving that 2017 Ford Focus until it dies.
KAYLA: Yeah, until the day it dies. Yeah
SARAH: I could have a bajillion dollars and in my mind, the only reason I would get a new car before that car craps out is if I had a bajillion dollars and I wanted to get an electric car. Like, that's the only reason I could see that happening. So, I'm just gonna enjoy my little 2017 Ford Focus.
KAYLA: I also just, especially because Dean recently bought a new car and I went through the whole process with him and so like I understand a bit more now what all goes into that and all the paperwork and shit.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And it just blows my mind because this is not a decision you can make that quickly.
SARAH: Mm-mm
KAYLA: You cannot buy a car in an hour.
SARAH: Also, one more thing. It's wild to me that two of the girlfriends of Home Dog's friends…
KAYLA: Yeah, I know
SARAH: Are not being fucking girls' girls and they're coming after her for not supporting him in his reckless financial decision?
KAYLA: My guess about those two girlfriends is that their boyfriends have done very similar things and they have chosen…
SARAH: And they're trying to make themselves feel better.
KAYLA: Yeah, yes, absolutely.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Those boyfriends maybe also have very expensive trucks and egged this man on to be like, you need it. And so, they, yes, they're trying to make it seem normal that this is what their lives have become.
SARAH: And or they're the kind of people who view their worth as being very much connected to how you look and how you are perceived
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And thinking that having a cool car is an important part of that.
KAYLA: Yeah, I would be very interested to know what area geographically this is because I do think that's especially true in some areas more than others, especially with cars in particular.
SARAH: Yeah, I'm also just kind of curious like what kind of truck is it?
KAYLA: I mean, it has to be one of those giant ones with the huge beds.
SARAH: Yeah, like the fucking F-350s.
KAYLA: Yeah, the huge beds and they have like the big tires and then all of the, yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. That if like a Japanese, what are they called? Kato truck? Like if a little Japanese truck saw.
KAYLA: Oh. Like the tiny ones?
SARAH: Yeah, like the Japanese truck would probably pass out and then once the Japanese truck woke back up, the Japanese truck would probably have do some drag racing with this car and it would be clear that the Japanese truck actually can tow a lot more than your F-350 can.
KAYLA: Speaking of trucks, one, two things. One, recently watched Cars, the movie for the first time in decades. Excellent film.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Two, I saw a Cybertruck in the flesh.
SARAH: Oh, you don't see them?
KAYLA: Uh, this was the first or second one I've seen in the city. Dean has seen a couple in the city. Teslas are not as common here as they are in California.
SARAH: I'm so sorry, some of us live in LA and we see Cybertrucks multiple times a week.
KAYLA: I know, every time I go to California, just immediately stepping out of the airport, just seeing how many Teslas are lined up at our airport pickup. It's like, oh yes, I am in California.
SARAH: My neighbor has a Tessie, like the car that is parked next to me in my parking garage is a Tesla.
KAYLA: I don't even know if I have a problem with like a regular Tesla. It's really just the Cybertruck I have a problem with.
SARAH: It's absolutely the Cybertruck. I've seen some like horrid custom ones.
KAYLA: Ugh, the color, why are they like that?
SARAH: There's like a bright green one. I was like, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”
KAYLA: Ew… Cybertruck
SARAH: And they're all like matte, like none of them are shiny.
KAYLA: Oh, see the one I saw was like a shiny silver. It looked like unfinished metal.
SARAH: Like that is kind of what I'm talking about. They're not like sparkly, you know?
KAYLA: Now I get what you mean. Yeah, I get what you mean.
SARAH: They're not glossy is what I mean.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But… what? Hello? Oh, the thing about Tessies is that in theory, absolutely great. If Elon Musk wasn't the piece of shit that he is, I think we would still have a positive view of Teslas.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like I've heard of a lot of people being like, I drive a Tesla and I feel the need to stick a bumper sticker on her that says like, I got this before Elon went insane.
KAYLA: Yeah. What's crazy is I have a family friend who got a Tesla in the first round of Teslas.
SARAH: Really
KAYLA: He had to drive to Chicago to pick it up because it was the only place that you could… that's where they were.
SARAH: Where did he charge it? Just at home?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You couldn't have really charged it anywhere else.
KAYLA: Yeah, he charged it at home and then people would always stop him in the street and be like, “Oh my God, it's a Tesla.” Like, it was a big thing.
SARAH: It's seen as this prestigious thing. And that's the thing is like… If you want an electric car, it's a decent option. The quality has gone way down
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And it's not worth the money that they're charging for it.
KAYLA: Yeah
[00:50:00]
SARAH: It is not equivalent to the value you get because those things break so easily.
KAYLA: Yeah, especially now that there are so many other electric cars on the market. It was one thing when it was the electric car, but.
SARAH: Right. And then you see these things about people getting stuck in their Teslas
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: Because they completely died and then they couldn't get the door open because all of it is, it's not mechanical or like there is a mechanical way to get out, but it's super complicated and no one knows how to fucking do it.
KAYLA: This is our car podcast.
SARAH: This is our car podcast. This is Car Talk.
KAYLA: I loved Car Talk. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I loved it.
SARAH: If you know Car Talk, let me know. I feel like it's a very specific thing, but here we are.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I had one more small thing and then we were going to leave. Car Talk. Oh, I've also seen multiple Teslas where the charger has gotten stuck in the car.
KAYLA: Oh, that's good.
SARAH: And they can't get it out. And in at least one case, they have had to disattach the charger from the charging port and tow the car.
KAYLA: Oh, good.
SARAH: Because they couldn't get the charger unattached from the car.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Anyway, Cybertrucks are bad. Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Are Cybertrucks bad?
SARAH: Do you see Cybertrucks regularly like Sarah?
KAYLA: That's a good question, yeah.
SARAH: Or have you seen like one or two or have you had the pleasure of never seeing one in the flesh?
KAYLA: What a dream that must be. It's so jarring.
SARAH: They don't even really, they don't like get me that much anymore because I just see them.
KAYLA: It's just that they don't look, they look so wrong.
SARAH: They're horrible.
KAYLA: In so many ways.
SARAH: I love those videos where they're like, “look at how convenient the Tesla is for a mother with children.” And then it's all these features that like SUVs and minivans already do.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Except SUVs and minivans do them better.
KAYLA: I'm sure they do.
SARAH: They're like, “look, there's this thing that you pull over the trunk so that like all of your groceries can stay dry.” But…
KAYLA: Any truck has that.
SARAH: But to open it, you put it in and it gets rained on while you're putting it in and then you close it.
KAYLA: Any truck can have a lid on the bed.
SARAH: Right. No, but what I'm saying, this podcast is insane, is okay, but like lids on truck beds, you can open the truck bed and still have the lid on.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: The way the Cybertruck truck bed lid is, is it like rolls up, right?
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: So, you cannot open the truck bed, not really, without exposing it to the wind and rain.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, yes, you can ‘protect’ your groceries with the cover, but your groceries will get wet while you're putting them in. And a normal fucking car with a normal fucking hatchback…
KAYLA: You would be under the… yeah
SARAH: It would be under the thing the whole time. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: Um, my beef is that this week is just not the vibe. I've been so tired this week. I feel like everyone I've talked to is just like, this week sucks. I don't know what's going on. It's also getting darker earlier here. Like we're fully getting into fall, which I love the weather. It's been in the 60s here. That's been great. But it's just, it's not the vibe. My juices are Only Murders in the Building, I finished the first season today. I was late to getting on the recording because we had to finish it. I understand I'm very late to this program. It's very good. And…
SARAH: I'm not caught up.
KAYLA: We've only watched season one, so. Also, I guess to the murder it was, so
SARAH: Big brain.
KAYLA: Huge brain. And then my other juice is the podcast, Hey, Riddle, Riddle. My friend Cassis has been recommending it for months. And I just started listening to it, It's these three improv comedians and they do riddles and puzzles, but then they also use them as prompts for improv scenes. And they are so funny. There's been so many times where I'm just like walking through my building at work or just on the street or on the bus. And I just burst out laughing. And then I'm like, “I look silly.”
SARAH: I love that for you.
KAYLA: And I'm like, “I want to go on this podcast.” But then I'm like, “I can't do improv.” That's not…
SARAH: Speaking of podcasts that we want to go on, did you see that there was a bonus episode of Normal Gossip that came out last night.
KAYLA: I'm so behind on Normal Gossip.
SARAH: I haven't listened to…
KAYLA: On all my podcasts, really. So behind.
SARAH: Well, get ahead.
KAYLA: Once they have us on, maybe then I'll catch up, so
SARAH: You go into work these days. Listen to your podcasts when you go into work.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's just, I don't know.
SARAH: I listen to my podcasts when I'm getting ready in the morning and when I'm going to work. And then on the way home, I plug my phone into my car and it automatically starts playing the podcasts. And I'm like, “no, no, it's not podcast time anymore.”
KAYLA: The problem with listening to podcasts on the way to work is I can only do it… I can't do it with the podcast I really want to listen to. Because on the way to work, that's when I play my New York Times games.
SARAH: Right. I forgot that…
KAYLA: I'm on the bus.
SARAH: You don't live in fucking Los Angeles.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm on the bus. Which poses its own problems, but I do not have to drive.
SARAH: I was like, “you shouldn't… it's not safe to be every day playing your New York Times games behind the wheels”.
KAYLA: It is. While driving every day, I must.
SARAH: I fucking hate L.A.
KAYLA: And it's a very rude bus driver driving me, who I have put in a complaint about. Don't worry.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Because he was ableist.
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: Towards me and others.
SARAH: Hate that. My juice is I recently saw a clip from John Mulaney's Netflix is a joke special thing about L.A. and his like final joke was that the only thing that all of the boroughs of L.A. have in common is that we have zero sense of community.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And I was like, “that's so true.” It's a good… this is like a five-minute clip. It's a good little bit. It's on YouTube. I sent it to a group chat that you're in, but you clearly haven't watched it.
KAYLA: I didn't. Yeah, that's true.
SARAH: My juice also is the song Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter. I had heard it before many times, but for some reason it didn't implant itself in my brain until I heard Jesse McCartney do a cover of it. And now it's all I listen to on repeat all the time. My beef is that it's still hot here. Like it is cooling down a little bit, but like it's still hot and it pisses me off. I just want it to be fall, but this place doesn't have fall. You can tell us about your beef and your juice on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to support us there. We have a new $2 patron.
KAYLA: Ooh
SARAH: It is Catherine F.W. And you know what Catherine F.W? I fuck with that.
KAYLA: I was just gonna… I was just gonna…
SARAH: Thanks, Catherine. I fuck with you.
KAYLA: I feel like people probably say that and I'm sorry.
SARAH: Our $5 patrons are Philip Rueker, Phoenix Eliot… There's just a blank bullet point.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: I don't know if I accidentally hit enter or if I accidentally deleted someone.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: If you are a $5 patron.
KAYLA: Just check the editor history.
SARAH: This is funner.
KAYLA: Oh, okay
SARAH: If you're a $5 patron and your name starts…
KAYLA: They already pay us. We can't make them do extra work like this.
SARAH: I'll check. And if I need to do it, I'll add it next week. I'll say them 45 times next week. Philip Rueker, Phoenix Eliot, Rachel, Rebekah Monnin, and Scott Ainslie. Our… gimbally, gimbally, gombally, gimbal, Skimbleshanks, the railway cat. I was playing Quiplash at my friend's birthday party and there was an… no, we were playing the murder trivia, murder party.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And there was an incredible setup for me regarding Skimbleshanks, the railway cat because it came up and it was like my name in the thing and then there was a question about names of cats and cats and I ate that.
KAYLA: I’m so proud of you
SARAH: Okay. Our $10 patrons who we are promoting this week are Bones, it says I asked Bones, but did Bones tell me? Bones never told me. So, Bones is going to promote Skimbleshanks, the railway cat.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Bones is going to promote the fact that the TV show Bones has been on a lot at the gym recently.
KAYLA: Mm, that’s fun
SARAH: Celina Dobson, who would like to promote the Critical Role Foundation, Clare Olsen who would like to promote @Impact_Frame, David Harris who would like to promote the Cradle book series by Will Wight, and Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face. Our other $10 patrons are Elle Bitter, my Aunt Jeannie, Kayla’s dad, who doesn't listen to this podcast because he's a hater. Maff, Martin Chiesl, Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Phoenix, I listed you twice, Phoenix, you're still on the $5 list and on the $10 list. Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra and we have a new $10 patron, it's Olivia O'Shea. And Olivia has told us that they want to promote not telling aspec people that they just haven't found the right person yet.
KAYLA: Yes, I agree.
[01:00:00]
SARAH: You’re so real for that, Olivia. Thank you for your money and for your support and for sending us what you wanted to promote without prompting. Even though you did ask and then I didn't answer promptly. And then a couple of hours later, you just sent it anyway. Thanks, Olivia.
KAYLA: And that's what we're looking for, is for people to understand that we're not good at our jobs.
SARAH: I actually saw the email immediately, just by chance. And I was going to answer, but then I was like, is it weird for me to answer one second later?
KAYLA: And see, here's the problem that I often have with our inbox, is I see it immediately and I'm like, well, I can't respond now, that's creepy.
SARAH: That's weird.
KAYLA: And then my brain is like, what email?
SARAH: And then it’s gone
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm so sorry, everyone. We've really not been our best lately.
SARAH: Our $15 patrons… Thank you, Olivia. Our $15 patrons are Ace, Andrew… wait, I have to say what they're promoting. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who'd like to promote The Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who'd like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who’d like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who’d like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who’d like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our 20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki, my mom, and River, who would like to promote that this podcast is... This episode is ending. Thank you. Goodbye. Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows. Kevin is going to hate this one.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]