Ep 129: Being AroAce is a TALENT
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake, But Okay a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I’m Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, asexuality is a talent
BOTH: Sounds Fake, But Okay.
SARAH: I didn't know you were going to say it like that.
KAYLA: That's going to be the title being aroace is a talent
SARAH: That's going to be a controversial title
[Intro music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: Uh, m’oney?
SARAH: M’cat. Sorry, I thought of one before you did and I just kind of…
KAYLA: What's happening?
SARAH: Did you say did you say m’oney?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I said your m’cat.
KAYLA: Well, I feel like mine is more topical
SARAH: I feel like mine is funner. Kayla. How are you doing?
KAYLA: Um this has been an up-and-down week, I’m not going to lie, like…
SARAH: Yeah, I feel like your week went down and then it started coming up and my week went down when yours started coming up
KAYLA: Yeah, it has been a rollercoaster. My computer broke and then within three days it already got sent back to me, so like for once Apple was like good
SARAH: For twice that happened to my sister too.
KAYLA: It literally came back in three days
SARAH: It's very impressive.
KAYLA: It was crazy. Uh some wild shit went down at work that is still ongoing but here we are
SARAH: But here we are
KAYLA: It has been quite the week. How are you, Sarah?
SARAH: I’m Fine. I do have a message for our Muslim listeners though, Ramadan Mubarak
KAYLA: Yes, that, I’m not going to try to say it.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: It'll be bad, but yes agree
SARAH: Kayla is a little bit too white
KAYLA: Too white
SARAH: To be able to say anything
KAYLA: I’m currently living in a town that's 99% white, so
SARAH: And I’m living in Los Angeles, so
KAYLA: The two genders
SARAH: The two genders. Um, we do have some news for people
KAYLA: Speaking of m’oney.
SARAH: Oh okay
KAYLA: See, it was topical
SARAH: Okay, I should have said Ramadan M’ubarak
KAYLA: That would have been very good
SARAH: We are doing a live stream on Saturday May 2nd
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: So, if you’re listening when this comes out that is this Saturday, we're doing a little live stream to raise some money for the World Health Organization slash UN Covid 19 relief fund, is that what it's called?
KAYLA: The solidarity response fund.
SARAH: Yep. That's what it's called I can never remember. Um, we're raising some money with some other folks from the aroace space, Kayla would you like to tell the people who we've got?
KAYLA: Yeah, we've got…
SARAH: Some of you may have already seen this because we did post the poster but also now you're hearing it in our voices
KAYLA: So, ha ha, so in the lineup of this concert…
SARAH: A concert?
KAYLA: Though it is not a concert. We have some team members.
SARAH: Are you going to make me write a song for this?
KAYLA: Will you?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Dang it.
SARAH: Maybe. We'll think about it.
KAYLA: Shh, I’m doing the lineup. We have… this is why no one likes us, Sarah. We have team members from AUREA the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition and Education and Advocacy, we have Courtney Lang from AOK
SARAH: Our brethren
KAYLA: Our brethren true our sister podcast
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: We have Daniel Walker from the Slice of Ace YouTube channel. We have Elliot Simpson the stand-up comedian
SARAH: But he might be sitting down for this
KAYLA: The sit-down comedian. We have Emmy Salida better known as Embly on the YouTube, we have Rose Sinclair the founder and probably is in charge of… I would imagine from Fuck Yeah Asexual
SARAH: So glad you're really informed on our guests
KAYLA: I can only imagine they're in charge. And of course, we have the lovely Yasmin Benoit, so
SARAH: Nice
KAYLA: And then there's us, of course
SARAH: Oh, yeah
KAYLA: Most important guests
SARAH: What if we just like threw them all in a room and then we're like…
KAYLA: And then we're like bye, that would be very good.
SARAH: But we're doing that, we are raising money for the, I already forgot
KAYLA: Solidarity response fund.
SARAH: Okay, the solidarity response fund. We wanted it to be international because we know we have listeners from all over the world
KAYLA: And half of our guests are going to be British. So
SARAH: That's true. Yeah, so it's going to be Saturday May 2nd at it's going to be 11 a.m. Pacific, which is 2 p.m. Eastern which is 7 p.m. UK time
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: For those of you who are in Europe that are in the land part, that'll be 8 p.m. For you, I believe
KAYLA: Couldn't tell you.
SARAH: Aussies, anyone in Asia. I have no idea
KAYLA: I’m not good with time even in my own zone but…
SARAH: It's true.
KAYLA: So yeah, that's when the live stream is but it'll just be up so it's going to be on our YouTube channel Sounds Fake But Okay Podcast. I think is how you can just type that in. all the way there and then it'll live there forever afterwards. So, if you can't make it during that time, you can still watch after and more importantly the fundraiser is already open.
SARAH: It sure is
KAYLA: You can already donate money. So, it'll be open from now until May 9th, which is my birthday
SARAH: It sure is
KAYLA: So…
SARAH: Give Kayla birthday present by donating to our fundraiser.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Yeah, that's up right now, right now we have no idea how much how many people are going to watch this…
KAYLA: Who is to say?
SARAH: Or like how much to expect people will be able to donate so we have like a pretty just… We just picked a number but if we hit it we're going to bump it up. So, join us
KAYLA: Yeah, and so you don't have to donate to watch the live stream or anything so don't worry about that if you can't donate we totally get it like everyone is going through a rough time right now
SARAH: Tell your friends, tell your acquaintances
KAYLA: Yeah, if you can't donate do your part by just like hanging out with us saying hi and then telling your friends about it and if you can only donate like literally a dollar that still helps a ton
SARAH: It does
KAYLA: So, the… it's the… like was… the World Health Organization in the UN their Covid 19 Response Fund so it goes to a bunch of things, they kind of disperse the money to different countries depending on which countries have the most need, it goes towards training medical people that are like getting back out on the front lines, getting protective. What is it called?
SARAH: PPE?
KAYLA: Yeah, I wanted to know the actual word, but whatever
SARAH: Personal Protective Equipment
KAYLA: Yeah, protective equipment for medical professionals, money for finding a vaccine for doing all of the like statistics and whatever to do to track the spread, they're really… it's basically everything and it's international, so that's where your money going
SARAH: Yep, and we already made a donation on behalf of the podcast. So…
KAYLA: Yeah, and a lot of the help like us being able to donate came from our patrons like putting us in like a financially safe enough place where we feel good about I mean, of course we feel good about donating but like it's because of like our patrons and you guys that we are able to do that and just this in general
SARAH: Yeah, it'll be a fun time for aspec community and hopefully we can raise a bunch of money for a good cause so
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Mark your calendars bitches.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I’m even going to share it on my Facebook.
KAYLA: I was thinking about that.
SARAH: Yeah, I need to do that. Um, okay, Kayla besides that, now that we've taken 45 minutes explaining that, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Today we have a very good topic that is definitely ace related. Don't worry about it
SARAH: We've prepared this months ago.
KAYLA: Yeah, we've been working on this for actually a long time. So, basically me and my boyfriend Dean have been watching a lot of The Amazing Race and so today I texted Sarah and I said we should go on The Amazing Race and then we started talking about just us going on all of the reality shows but I think to bring it around I feel like a lot of these shows in these competitions being ace or aro could bring an actual advantage
SARAH: Truly it could
KAYLA: Or it could just be a fun thing to have
SARAH: Representation.
KAYLA: Yes. So, today we're going to be talking about that, I don't know
SARAH: I guess
KAYLA: Just us
SARAH: Yeah, okay, so I know that you and I… When we were freshmen in college, I remember us having discussions with some of our other friends about which combinations of friends would be best on The Amazing Race.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Where did we land on what our cup like how well our combo would do?
KAYLA: I can't remember
[00:10:00]
SARAH: I can't either.
KAYLA: I think…
SARAH: I think it was one of the better ones
KAYLA: I think it would be one of the better ones because I think we have a lot of traits that like balance each other out
SARAH: We've also spent a lot of time in close quarters with each other
KAYLA: Right, so like we could handle the stress
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think… I don't know… so, I think we'd be a good team, thinking about like what kind of person does well on the Amazing Race, I don't think we would be good at it in general
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah
KAYLA: I think where we could definitely go wrong is when we were watching this season it was the season with Rob and Amber on it who were like won Survivor a billion times if anyone's wondering
SARAH: We stan Rob and Amber
KAYLA: Dude, I'd like really…
SARAH: I’m not caught up on Survivor right now
KAYLA: I watched the last episode with Dean it was wild but anyway, so go watch that season. It was great. There was a really there was like a 65-year-old couple that was hilarious and I love them. Um, because I feel like a lot of the problems come from like teams fighting and like getting mad at each other, but…
SARAH: Yeah. But there it is like we're newly engaged. We're new.
KAYLA: Oh my god. There was a couple. I’m sorry we're just going to have to do a recap of the Amazing Race, there was like a couple that like must have been on and off again, you know how under the people's names they usually write like married or engaged?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: They didn't have any of that. They just had like Pageant Queen for her and prisoner of war survivor for him
SARAH: Oh, wow
KAYLA: Because that was what he was, because they were like on again off again and she kept being the whole time like I want to settle down and have kids and he's just not ready for that and his whole personality was about being in the army whenever he talked about anything, he was like this reminds me of being in the army because that was his accent. It was…
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Bananas, anyway, they fought all the time. Because they didn’t have their shit together.
SARAH: I feel like a lot of like the best relationships are like familial ones because you know you have been on each other's nerves. You know how the other person works like I’ve talked with my family like the best… The best combination for me with my family, it would be me and my sister
KAYLA: See, here's where I think it could go bad though and I guess I don't know how your sister does with this dynamic, but for you, especially you're so non-confrontational. So, I could see it like this could be your breaking point because The Amazing Race gets so stressful that you would like not get your way on stuff or like a cut and then things would go wrong and then you would just break and all of a sudden you would be like screaming
SARAH: Screaming?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: I don’t know how to scream.
KAYLA: I feel like it could be what breaks everyone screams on me
SARAH: I’ve never screamed in my life
KAYLA: Anyway, do you think there's any benefit to being aroace on The Amazing Race
SARAH: On The Amazing Race, I don't know that there's a major benefit either way, I just think the type of relationship you have with the person you're on with makes the biggest difference and I feel like a lot of times those like platonic like strong platonic bonds are the pairs that do the best together.
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: Because I mean… You know each other, I’m not going to pretend to like understand what it's like to be like, ooh that person is attractive and I like them a lot, but like depending on how long you've been with a person if you're like dating them and you're like, let's do a fun couple thing let's go on the amazing race. Like if you haven't been together for that long like there are a lot of…
KAYLA: You’re going to learn shit
SARAH: Yeah, you're going to learn some shit and there's stuff that maybe you're going to be like oh, like I was just kind of like into this part… one part of you and now I’m seeing some other parts of you that I don't I don't like but I’m on a reality show
KAYLA: There were several couples on the show, on the season we watch that were like our relationship isn't going great right now and we're hoping this will bring us closer together.
SARAH: This is the stupidest fucking idea. It's like when people are like our marriage is falling apart. So, we're having a baby.
KAYLA: That's exactly what I said
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, I guess I know I feel like being maybe aro especially and so you are more prone to having those like really strong platonic relations
SARAH: And like you know how to maintain them
KAYLA: Yeah, because I do think you're like… because… especially with the couple you're like, okay we're going to have this stressful experience then we have to like go back and live with each other and like still be a couple but like with a friend if we want on The Amazing Race and I got annoyed with you I could be like, okay, that's fine we can just like take a couple weeks off from talking to each other and then it's fine like we don't have to go back and like live with each other, you know
SARAH: I mean technically you could do that if you're a couple too, but it would have a different connotation
KAYLA: Yeah, that's like way more extreme like it's more normal for you to not talk to a friend for a couple weeks than like your husband.
SARAH: Yeah, that's fair
KAYLA: Anyway, I’m trying to think about the other good reality shows. What do you think about Survivor?
SARAH: Survivor, here is the thing with Survivor, I don't think sexuality comes into play very much with Survivor. It does occasionally as in with like, you know, Rob and Amber ended up fucking getting married and having kids but like…
KAYLA: They have four daughters, do you know that?
SARAH: Yeah, they have four kids. Yeah
KAYLA: That's too many
SARAH: To me it's like Survivor is so much about strategy and like create like the whole point of Survivor is you make relationships and you make alliances and then you stab people in the back
KAYLA: Fair
SARAH: And so, it's like that's not really necessarily like a place to find love, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like very rarely is it people's like game strategy to… like I’ve seen it before with people like women especially I feel like being like I’m just going to be super-hot and like get all these guys to be in love with me and then they'll do whatever I want
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I mean to be fair you could do that no matter what your sexuality is
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Even if you weren't attracted to people you could still be like I’m going to try to exploit them, but yeah
SARAH: Yeah, and I feel like just with Survivor it's such a strategic, there's so much thought especially however many fucking seasons in where it's evolved so much like there's so much strategy with regarding interpersonal relationships and like how it works that like romance and sex and stuff really don't actually play into it that much
KAYLA: Honestly good, maybe Survivor is asexual
SARAH: Survivor is the asexual reality show
KAYLA: See, but it's interesting because it's like you put all these people on an island and you make them compete and you know what's the first to go? Is like sex and romance that's kind of interesting
SARAH: Yeah, because it's not fucking important. It doesn't get you anything
KAYLA: Exactly. True. Well, okay. I don't know if I would say that but okay
SARAH: Sorry, my angry just came out.
KAYLA: Oh, no it popped out. All right, now I know you have some thoughts about America's Got Talent.
SARAH: Oh, yeah, Kayla was first texting me about this and she was like America's Got Talent and I was like my AGT talent is being ace. You know that new reality show that is coming out where like you have to like go without sex for a month on this like island
KAYLA: Yeah, I haven't watched it yet, but I want to really bad.
SARAH: I would be so good at that. Give me $100,000 to go without sex for a month, give every month for the rest of my life
KAYLA: What’s wild…
SARAH: Do I get back pay?
KAYLA: Oh my God. I had a friend that watched it recently and it's funny because it's all like college-aged kids
SARAH: Hmm.
KAYLA: So, it's like of course they got like the horniest people in the world
SARAH: Oh, yeah. Yeah
KAYLA: Apparently according to my friend it had a very like kind of pure ending where like everyone kind of like redeemed themselves, it's not like crazy and sex obsessed, but I don't know…
SARAH: That’s good
KAYLA: I think you would probably still kill it on that show
SARAH: I’ve seen a lot of tweets that are like intended to be like self-deprecating where it's like you think it's hard to go without sex for a month like I do it all the time and I’m like, okay, but I mean it in a very non-self-deprecating way
KAYLA: But it's just the truth
SARAH: It's just where we're at and where we will remain
KAYLA: Here's something I’ve thought about.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: So, okay, when you think about the Bachelor or the Bachelorette the supposed prize is like this person and getting married, right?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I feel like the real prize that most people actually go on it for is like fame and being the most famous person and like getting the furthest you get the most like Instagram brand deals, right?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like though I feel like…
SARAH: I’m going on like many times
KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like the people who make it like farthest, maybe like second, and they don’t win probably like make the most money out of it, right?
SARAH: Yeah, I mean I’m just thinking of like the season that we watched- fuck what's her face? Not Christian, but the girl who…
KAYLA: Hannah Brown?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: It's like the only one I know
SARAH: You watched it.
KAYLA: Just virgin guy. He's writing the book.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I can't remember. The crazy guy who wanted to beat everyone up and…
SARAH: No, the girl who was queer on Bachelor in Paradise, oh, you didn't watch Bachelor in Paradise. Did you?
KAYLA: I didn't watch Bachelor in Paradise. I know what you're talking about because everyone at work watches it but
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Anyway, yes
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Sorry. I’m just really… this is going to bother me. Um, I need to find her name. Um…
KAYLA: Demi
SARAH: Demi, Demi, Demi. Yes, like Demi is quite famous
KAYLA: Yeah, so here's… like some of them… that one guy is dating Demi Lovato now. He was on the Bachelorette or something
SARAH: Oh, uh, uh, he should have been the next Bachelor
KAYLA: Who should have been the next Bachelor, yes, but he's black
SARAH: Well now Hannah and Tyler are quarantining together.
KAYLA: I hate it. Okay, this is not a Bachelor recap. Here's my point I feel like you could make a strong argument for an aroace person who goes in with like no intention of romance and not even the risk of accidentally falling in love because I feel like you could go on the shit… like someone that does experience romantic attraction could go on the show with the goal, not to get married but to like scheme and get the most famous. But what if they accidentally fell in love? But if your aro especially like I’m just saying
SARAH: I don't know what you're saying
KAYLA: I’m just saying like it's an advantage because I… to me really I do think the big prize in the Bachelor is being the most famous
SARAH: And that has definitely become more and more the prize this time as gone on
KAYLA: Right. So, if you want to go on the Bachelor and you're like I want to win this prize, I feel like the best person to win that prize is someone who has no risk of accidentally falling in love and like ruining their own scheme
SARAH: Okay, that's fair. I just looked up reality shows just to like see what it gave me, there's this apparently a show called Dating Naked
KAYLA: Oh, you've never seen it?
SARAH: I’ve never seen it. No.
KAYLA: Oh wait, maybe I’m thinking of Naked and Afraid
SARAH: No. I’ve heard of Dating Afraid
KAYLA: I’ve heard of Dating Naked
SARAH: Dating Naked it was 2014 to 2016
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Anyway, um, yeah, I think they should do an ace RuPaul’s Drag Race, RuPaul’s Drag Race
KAYLA: So, would they be drag queens who are also ace?
SARAH: I don't care
KAYLA: Well, that… but it's… what?
SARAH: Why didn't we… why didn't we acknowledge that The Amazing Race
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, we did miss that one
SARAH: Um, no, I just think it's like RuPaul’s Drag, I guess. Yeah, it's aces do a drag competition
KAYLA: I wonder if there are any ace drag queens. I feel like I’ve never heard of them.
SARAH: I hope so
KAYLA: I’m sure there's at least one
SARAH: Yeah, I also think another good uh a reality show for ace people is American Ninja Warrior or you know, non-American Ninja Warrior
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: Because we're not busy having sex while people are out there busy having sex we're getting ripped
KAYLA: But the people on American Ninja Warrior are already really ripped and like it seems like a lot of them have kids, so they've had sex.
SARAH: Yeah, but the time that they spend making those kids, I can spend doing push-ups.
KAYLA: Here is…
SARAH: And a salmon ladder.
KAYLA: I’m going to say something that you don't want to hear Sarah.
SARAH: Oh, no
KAYLA: Sex is cardio
SARAH: Okay, but American Ninja Warrior isn't really a cardio thing
KAYLA: But it's also not a muscle thing if you have too much muscle mass you're not going to do well, the best people on American Ninja Warrior are lean
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because they don't have to pull a lot of like muscle.
SARAH: It's not about being beefy. It's about being Good
KAYLA: Yeah, but how do you get good… How do you get in good shape?
SARAH: You do the salmon ladder a lot.
KAYLA: You can't not do cardio
SARAH: Oh, I know I’m, just saying cardio alone is not going to make you good at American Ninja Warrior
KAYLA: No, but I’m just saying it's not like they're spending their time having sex not preparing for American Ninja Warrior. They're doing both at once
SARAH: I don't know that I agree
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: But I don't have a good enough grasp on the cardio level of sex to really make an argument here
KAYLA: I once heard that sex burns as much calories as mopping a floor which is confusing because what if you're mopping a very small floor?
SARAH: What if you're just mopping like a closet? What if you're in the closet?
KAYLA: That's an excellent question
SARAH: Okay. Good. Well, speaking of okay. All right All right, if you're going to make the argument that you need to have cardio for American Ninja Warrior
KAYLA: I do, you have just do, you can't only lift
SARAH: What about the Titan Games? the one with the Rock where you got to be really beefy? What about Stone Cold Steve Austen?
KAYLA: I don't know who that is.
SARAH: He's Stone Cold Steve Austen
KAYLA: Do I know who that is?
SARAH: Eleanor Shellstrop loves him. He has a ranch
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: It's a great show
KAYLA: Uh
SARAH: The… I mean though I guess they do still need some cardio because the Titan Games and the Stonecold Steve Austen ones are longer
KAYLA: Everyone needs… literally everyone needs cardio, except for maybe like an Olympic weightlifter. What Olympic sport do you think is best suited for aroace people?
SARAH: Um rowing
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: It's a team sport
KAYLA: A lot of them are a team sport, that’s a terrible argument
SARAH: I don't know. It was just the one that came to mind.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, I don't really have an answer
SARAH: I bet it's like uh like swimming or diving or something because everyone else is distracted by uh, the naked people and you're like
KAYLA: I bet it's javelin throwing
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: It just feels on brand with like the dragons and the swords, you know?
SARAH: Okay, that's fair
KAYLA: Sarah I’ve cracked the code, the best reality show for an asexual person is the Great British Bake Off
SARAH: Tell me more
KAYLA: Cake.
SARAH: Oh my god. You're so right.
KAYLA: I’ve… and also if you noticed from our lineup of people in our event, it seems like a lot of like the… Like most notable ace people come from England
SARAH: It's because of the Great British Bake Off, there's no other reason
KAYLA: Exact conspiracy theory
SARAH: Um, I mean I personally would be bad on the Great British Bake Off
KAYLA: But don't you think I’m right that like on average probably?
SARAH: On average, there's just like an emotional connection with cake and…
KAYLA: Listen, I mean, these are all generalizations we're making today and everyone should know that but on a theoretical level like on a cultural level you would think it would be like the Great British Bake Off or like one of those… or one that's like literally just about cake
SARAH: Yeah, no, that's good. Now I’m just… it has shown me some adventure reality shows. We've got Man Versus Wild and Naked and Afraid; both shows that like romance and sex go out the door because they don't matter
KAYLA: I think Naked and Afraid would be a really good one because I’ve watched like maybe two episodes before and all I remember is like at the beginning when the people are like first trying… it's especially like the first night where they're trying to sleep and you like need to huddle for warmth and use each other's like body temperature and body heat
SARAH: Depending on where they are. Yeah
KAYLA: Almost anywhere like even if it's warm in that place like they were on an island and like it still gets cold at night. Anyway, one of them always would be like my partner back home wouldn't be comfortable with this but just like…
SARAH: That's a fair fact
KAYLA: Then why did you come on the show? Like that's not fair, but you should have known but if you're asexual you could be like listen bud don't worry about it. I’m uninterested in all of this
SARAH: Yeah, uh, the only counterpoint I have to that is I don't want to look at your dick
KAYLA: Yeah, but you also wouldn't be distracted by it
SARAH: Yeah, that's true.
KAYLA: Well, you probably still be distracted… You'd be distracted by it, but not in the same way as someone else might be I guess
SARAH: In more of a it's haunting me way?
KAYLA: Yes. Yes
SARAH: Then I’m interested in that way
KAYLA: More haunting
SARAH: Um, you know what I just fucking realized? Aces would be great on Catfish because you do not end up in that situation to begin with
KAYLA: Catfish is not a competition
SARAH: It says it's an MTV reality show
KAYLA: It is a reality show but I… okay continue
SARAH: It's still… it's a reality. We'd be very good on Catfish. We'd win, we'd win the game.
KAYLA: That's not necessarily true because like you can get Catfished like if you're using…
SARAH: Platonically?
KAYLA: Well, yeah, if you're… like Bumble has an option where you just look for friends
SARAH: Yeah, but…
KAYLA: And like I don't… Aro people could be looking for like a romantic partner, like it happens
SARAH: That's fair. What about Big Brother? Don't they have a lot of sex on that show?
KAYLA: I’ve never watched it, but I have to imagine, I feel like they do and also like it's like 10 men and 10 women or whatever like in a house together, so there probably are like relationship drama things that come up because you're just like stuck together. So, you're like, I guess I might as well have a crush on you and get distracted and then I get voted out
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But like if you're not distracted then yeah, probably
SARAH: How do you win big… is Big Brother just like Survivor but indoors?
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: Let me look it up
SARAH: While you're doing that…
KAYLA: Big Brother
SARAH: I’m just going to point out that uh Teen Mom, aspec people are less likely to uh end up in that situation. I would argue
KAYLA: Big brother, Wikipedia
SARAH: So, we'd win Teen Mom.
KAYLA: Give me the… how it works, Wikipedia. A quote, diverse group of contestants - I don't know about that - known as house guests live together in a custom-built home under constant surveillance. They are completely isolated from the outside world so no communication with anyone outside the house. They're competing for $500,000, they have weekly competitions and evictions determining who will win the show
SARAH: So, it's like Survivor but inside and longer
KAYLA: Format, let me see
SARAH: Because I mean if you think about Survivor, I was going to… this might be alienating for anyone who isn't familiar with all these shows, but if you think about Survivor, like the whole point is that they throw you all on an island and then the goal is to be the last one standing and you vote someone… if your tribe loses the competition that week you have to vote someone off and you don't vote someone off because you don't like them. I mean you might but like you vote them off because you think they're a threat to you winning so it's like if someone is not reliable and they're stabbing people in the back with their alliances you just vote them off. Like there's no reason to vote someone off other than you're trying to beat them. So American.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So American
KAYLA: It looks like it is…. like they do vote people off, apparently like the part of the goal of the show is that like they… The goal is that they do put diverse people in who have differing ideals, beliefs and prejudices?
SARAH: Do they piss each other off?
KAYLA: Yeah, so it's like a social experiment and then I guess they have like competitions and then each week… It seems like different seasons have different formats, but like they vote people off
SARAH: Okay. Um, what about Love is Blind?
KAYLA: Well, what would you say is winning love is blind?
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Like, I mean the show
SARAH: It doesn't work in quite the same way as The Bachelor
KAYLA: Well, yeah, because the show maybe if it gets more famous it will but like the intended goal is to like meet someone and get married
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I don't think that anyone that was on it has gotten famous from it like yet, but if the show got more famous…
SARAH: Most people like season one
KAYLA: Well, yeah, exactly
SARAH: But I mean I do think that it's like a lot of the people on that show were like you know I had… It… I’ve been dating and it just hadn't been working. Nothing had been sticking. So, I want to like make an emotional connection with someone first. So, it's like this is… It's demi. That's very demi.
KAYLA: Oh, I did say that, I feel like I said that at one point to you or something.
SARAH: But yeah, I feel like I remember you saying that
KAYLA: For demi people or people that are like ace but not aro then it would probably work out. I mean, it's a you know, it's a reality tv show so it's probably never going to work out great but the format of like you're…
SARAH: Unless it's Rob and Amber
KAYLA: Unless it's Rob and Amber. But like the concept of you have to get to know each other really emotionally first and then we'll let you even like think about having sex does kind of like cater to the demi kind of situation.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I don't know. I guess I would kill at Love is Blind
SARAH: Yeah, so I just, The Circle, everyone has been talking about The Circle. I haven't watched it. So, I just looked up like what…
KAYLA: I have heard it's very good
SARAH: Yeah, I have heard it's very good. But basically the… it says Big Brother meets Catfish. So…
KAYLA: Yes, that's true
SARAH: Like they're all in a house, but they each have their own little apartment and they don't ever see each other face to face they just like communicate via the social media app so they can you know convey themselves however they want and then throughout the competition. It says the players rate one another with the lowest rated players at risk of being eliminated or blocked from the game
KAYLA: Yeah, like the highest rated ones are like quote the influencers. And I think they get like extra votes or something
SARAH: Right, so it's like that is interesting because you're taking away like the the sex appeal and like the attractiveness requirement of like being like liked and like well rated I guess
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Which is interesting
KAYLA: What is interesting, I don't… I didn't watch it, but I have a friend who watched it and told me like everything about it and I feel like my friend mentioned that like there were certain people on it. They were like… I think there was a woman on it that was like, I am like a super model that’s who I really am, and she was like I’m just going to play it. I’m not going to catfish I’m, just going to like play it as myself and like she was one of the first to go because people were either like you're not real or like the other version of you're not real like they were looking for like actual genuine people and so being like what they saw as like very shallow or like superficial was not what they wanted
SARAH: Yeah, I think I think there's not necessarily any advantage on that show of being aro or ace or aspec, but I think the show itself seems pretty ace
KAYLA: Yeah, there was I think one guy who was like really in love with… who was like? I don't know really into one of the girls on the show, but it wasn't actually a girl it was someone catfishing as a girl
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: And so, he was sad at the end.
SARAH: That's interesting
KAYLA: And then he was like no like I totally just saw them as a sister like it's fine and everyone was like, oh no, that's not true. Oh, no
SARAH: Oh, boy, yeah, that's…
KAYLA: But I guess that is kind of a disadvantage for him because he got like trapped in that and like was obviously wanting to help this person win because they thought that they like really liked them
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So honestly, I feel like playing… like more than some other shows trying to play to get people attracted to you might be an advantage
SARAH: Love makes you weak
KAYLA: But yeah, but you also don't have to be allo to do it, you could catfish as an allo person if you wanted to
SARAH: Yeah, but if you are like aro as you were saying before like it won't happen to you, which gives you an advantage.
KAYLA: That's very true. It could go both ways
SARAH: What about 90-Day Fiancé
KAYLA: What do you… do you win money if you make it or something?
SARAH: You must uh, let's see
KAYLA: I don't know that you do, because I feel like it could go both ways on that one
SARAH: Okay, so long distance relationship, I’m just going to read the whole blurb, long distance relationships have challenges that are sometimes difficult to overcome but consider if the distance traveled was halfway around the world and a couple had just 90 days to decide whether the courtship should conclude with marriage, that's a situation facing men and women profiles in this series, which shares the complexities of international romances, using a visa that allows foreign fiancés of American citizens…
KAYLA: Finance?
SARAH: To travel to the US the men and women experience life in the states with their prospective mates for the first time. Culture and language barriers must be overcome not to mention the stigma of being thought of as male or spouses but there's the elephant in the room the couples must marry before the visas expire in 90 days or else the visitors have to immediately return to their countries, but the clock ticking these couples discover if they're happily ever after is meant to be so like I don't know that you necessarily win money but like whatever you have built for yourself in the three months you've been there you just have to leave
KAYLA: I don't know if there's any like decided advantages or disadvantages there
SARAH: I don't either
KAYLA: I think like…
SARAH: Do you like each other?
KAYLA: What do you think about Married at First Sight?
SARAH: Um, crazy
KAYLA: Yes, but that's not what I was asking
SARAH: Um, sorry, I’m just looking at stuff about 90-Day Fiancé now and I’m just…
KAYLA: Oh my
SARAH: I got to close it. Um, Sorry, you were talking about Married at First Sight?
KAYLA: Yeah, do you… I guess the prize there is staying married, right?
SARAH: Yeah, I mean what… oh, I think maybe that's the one where you get money for staying together. Maybe that's what I was thinking of
KAYLA: Look it up
SARAH: Um I mean, I just… as an aroace person there's no universe in which I would ever want to do that
KAYLA: I think it could… well no because you're supposed to be trying to stay married.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, I guess, no Like if you're aro
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Never mind
SARAH: Don't know
KAYLA: But I think about an American Idol
SARAH: Uh, literally no difference is made at all.
KAYLA: What about So You Think You Can Dance?
SARAH: Uh, that's actually really interesting. Uh So You Think You Can Dance. I feel like if you're ace you might have some amount of a disadvantage because some of the dances you have to do depending on the genre or the specific dance itself you need like chemistry and it's like supposed to be like sexy and… Okay, I’ve thought about this before I was like if I went on So You Think You Can Dance which obviously, I’m not talented enough for that
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: But I’ve literally thought about this like I don't know how I didn't think of So You Think You Can Dance earlier. Anyway, it's like you have to be able to fake it well enough or like, you know and sometimes if you just like don't have chemistry with your partner like you don't have chemistry with your partner regardless of whether you're allo or not, but like it is interesting that like you have to be able to teach yourself to do stuff that you might be uncomfortable with
KAYLA: Yeah, I think especially if you're like sex repulsed or that like if you're sex like positive you have sex even though you're asexual like I think that like…
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Probably not too much of an issue
KAYLA: Probably yeah, but I do think for… I mean I don't know. It's a big part of dances like that I think is also partly acting like especially a lot of the like more lyrical or like I don't know story-based dances they do I think a lot of them revolve around like oh, we're in love and now we're apart and we're both so sad so like either you need to be good at acting or you need to like have personal experiences knowing what that feels like so you can like recreate that emotion while you're dancing so…
SARAH: Yeah, I mean I’m thinking of like all of my like the most famous dances from say the…
KAYLA: The door, the bench
SARAH: The turn to stone, the statue one
KAYLA: The bed
SARAH: The uh, the prom one with Lauren and Kent
KAYLA: There's a lot
SARAH: Um, and then like the other ones that were just like crazy for other reasons
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like fucking Alex Wong and Twitch doing hip-hop really well. Sometimes a ballerina just blows your mind with hip-hop, you know
KAYLA: This is not the point Sarah.
SARAH: Sorry. I just thought about that and then they made me think about Ellen and now I’m sad, anyway
KAYLA: Anyway, I feel like in dance me and Sarah were both dancers and like it's important to be able to like emotionally connect with what like the quote unquote story is supposed to be
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, like I said, I think you either need to be able to like… I mean I think you could like if you're dancing something that's supposed to be like romantic and you're breaking up with someone you could think of it as like a friend breakup and that would totally work. But like if you don't have experiences like that or they make you uncomfortable and or you aren't good at acting
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like I don't want… I don't know, I don't want this to seem like I’m saying like asexual people or aromantic people are bad at dancing or acting but like
SARAH: Well, you just may need like another step to get there like, okay. I’m thinking of like the bench dance where it was Travis Wall. What, was it Heidi? Travis is gay, but he was still able to do that dance with a woman because like he was familiar enough with…
KAYLA: Wait, he just had to like transfer his feelings for like a man, too
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Whereas for someone who is ace, aroace, whatever it may be, like you have to, it's not just transferring necessarily like you have to kind of build it
KAYLA: Or like dig deeper to like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Can I connect to this to like a family relationship or a friend relationship I have I think it's just like more searching for like how does this actually connect to me at all
SARAH: Yeah, and like for uh, like the more like sexy things like me per…
KAYLA: A tango
SARAH: Yeah, Argentine tango. Give me a salsa, put me on the hot tamale train. Anyway, those are niche jokes for anyone who's really interested in dance. But like I would probably be able to do it but I would be very uncomfortable with it at first and I would have to like get over that hurdle of like just my body is… well, you want me to do what?
KAYLA: And especially like in that show you have like a week to learn the dance
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, if like…
SARAH: And sometimes you have to learn like several dances in a week
KAYLA: Yeah, so like if you would need to spend a day kind of like getting yourself mentally ready to do that like that would take away from other things your brain could be doing like learning to dance
SARAH: Yeah, but I mean also, you could be really fucking good at it.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah dancing is also just like…
SARAH: There are plenty of people who...
KAYLA: A skill on its own, so
SARAH: Right, like there are plenty of people who are allo who uh also can't dance sexy
KAYLA: Yeah, I think it's just… it is an interesting dynamic though
SARAH: Yeah, I can't believe it took us that long to get sitting dance
KAYLA: Well, it's kind of like… you know what it's kind of like Sarah is when you in like your screenplays have written like scenes where people are like flirting or something
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you have to take an extra step of like, okay. I’ve never done this…
SARAH: On purpose
KAYLA: So now I need to pull references… on purpose. So, like now I have to pull references from like other people or like other parts of my life to do this
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you don't have that easy recall, not like… and that doesn't make you not good at it. You just have to go about it a different way
SARAH: Right, and I think that's a little bit different from something like dancing with the stars because like dancing with the stars though…
KAYLA: So, you think you can dance?
SARAH: I am talking about Dancing With The Stars. I’m comparing Dancing With The Stars with So You Think You Can Dance
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Um a lot of times the contestants on Dancing With The Stars are older because they're like…
KAYLA: Washed up celebrities?
SARAH: Yeah. Um and So You Think You Can Dance you can't be older than 29 like that's the cut off. Um, or at least it was at some point. Um, I don't know if that's still the case, but um, like it's… Like you're trying to create like a relationship with your partner in terms of like them trusting you and you like teaching them how to dance. Uh RIP to what's-her-face for having to dance with Sean Spicer. Um, but um like you… it's not necessarily meant to be… like you're not telling a story as much in Dancing With The Stars as you are in So You Think You Can Dance because like the whole point is that you're trying to be proficient whereas So You Think You Can Dance you're trying to excel and it's a bit of a different scenario
KAYLA: True
SARAH: So, if anyone out there wants to become a super famous ace person and then go on Dancing With The Stars
KAYLA: You should do it
SARAH: Pair me with Jenna. Just put two women together. Who cares?
KAYLA: That’s good. Who cares?
SARAH: Give me Sasha. Yeah, I mean that's a man but still. Oh, man. All right. I mean, I feel like that's a great place to end it
KAYLA: Yeah, I think that was good wrap it up, put it away
SARAH: Um, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Would we win The Amazing Race?
SARAH: Okay. Like any specific season like are we against like Tyler Oakley and Corey cool? Are we you know?
KAYLA: Maybe we should ask like if we would be a good Amazing Race team or if we would self-implode
SARAH: Okay. Would going on the amazing race make us fall in love?
KAYLA: My God, maybe that's what we need
SARAH: Um, you know what the best part about the Amazing Race is?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: The theme song
KAYLA: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun…
SARAH: It slaps. This isn’t going to line up because we are over the phone
KAYLA: It's… truly I’ve spent… and watched an entire season so quickly
SARAH: It slaps. Um, no what last one last thing though. Um, anything that would have to be eaten you would have to do
KAYLA: Me?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Oh, yeah
SARAH: Heights I’ll do it, you want me to fucking… If it's if it's heights I’ll do it
KAYLA: It would have to do all of the physical things too though.
SARAH: Yeah, probably
KAYLA: I would be able to do like the physical things, I don't know I can do puzzles. I guess
SARAH: I can't do puzzles. So
KAYLA: Okay. Well, there you go. You do the muscle person things and I do the big brain things.
SARAH: I’m just the beef I’m the beef. You're the brain. I’m the bronze. You're the beauty
KAYLA: Wow, perfect
SARAH: Good Big beef baby big beef. All right Um, that's a little joke with myself because no one is listening to this is going to get that uh, okay um, so okay that our poll, uh, what is your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: I mean, I feel like my beef was when my computer broke and I had a full meltdown and sobbed a bunch
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And my juice would be that it came back in the mail today and I was reunited with my son after having to use my parents disgusting PC for a week
SARAH: My beef is that it's fucking hot um LA…
KAYLA: It’s fucking snowing here.
SARAH: LA decided it was a good time to become 98 degrees. Uh for those of you who speak Celsius, that's like 34, 35 degrees Celsius
KAYLA: It has been snowing here and it's April, so
SARAH: You can fucking have some of this heat. I don't want it
KAYLA: I would like it
SARAH: And because I’m working from home. My desk and my bedroom is right next to the door wall and uh the like vent doesn't really get over here super well uh, so there's just all this heat leeching at me from the from the window from the door
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Um, luckily though there is no like direct sunlight coming into my apartment, which is good, but I’m just… I’m very warm right now. Um, my juice is that my office has been doing this like email chain tag essentially where like, uh you like share a musical album that means a lot to you and like explain why and then you like tag someone else and people have been participating and sharing albums and it has been cool
KAYLA: That is cute.
SARAH: Yeah. If you'd like to tell us about your beef, your juice, uh whether or not you think Kayla and I would kill each other on various reality shows. Um also, if you want to tell us about what you're excited for on our live stream or, if you want to donate to our live stream tinyurl.com/donatesixfeet the number six feet spelled out, hit it up. Um…
[00:50:00]
KAYLA: I’ll put it in the episode description thing, of course
SARAH: Wonderful. Um, but yeah, hit us up @soundsfakepod everywhere, uh, we also have a Patreon sounds fake pod… Nope. patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Thank you to our patrons, especially because some of the money that you gave us this month um did go toward our fundraiser. So, thank you.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Um Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney Perry Fiero, Dee, Megan… nope Dee, Megan Rowell, which we finally figured out who you are
KAYLA: We got you.
SARAH: We got her. we've been… we've… Listen, we've been talking to Megan in the Discord, but we couldn't figure out who we were talking to
KAYLA: It was very dramatic.
SARAH: It was dramatic. It's Megan. Um, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, BookMarvel, Changeling MX, Derrick and Carissa, Simona Simon, Jamie Jack, Jessica Shei, Ria Faustino and Daniel Walker, did we give a Carissa update last week.
KAYLA: Isn't Daniel Walker a Slice of Ace
SARAH: I don't… I feel like it could be.
KAYLA: I mean that's his name
SARAH: I never even made that connection.
KAYLA: I didn't either.
SARAH: Are you the same Daniel Walker?
KAYLA: Is that you Daniel? Did we just put that together?
SARAH: Damn, Daniel back at it again with the white fans?
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Uh Well, whether you're slice of ace or another Daniel Walker, we appreciate
KAYLA: We love you
SARAH: Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin, @tessa_m_k, Arcness who'd like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who'd like to promote tabletop games, anonymous who would like to promote Halloween, Sarah McCoy who would like to promote podcasts from a planet weird, my aunt Jennie who would like to promote Christopher's Haven, Samantha… Nope, Cassandra who would like to promote their modeling Instagram @Liddowred, Doug Rice who'd like to promote native by Caitlin Curtis and Maggie Capelbo who would like to promote her dog's Instagram @minniemuffin19. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White, nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs from a distance, Sarah jones who's @eternallolli everywhere, Dia Chapel would like to promote the podcast the beacon and dragonfly who would like to promote air conditioning
KAYLA: And also, our fundraiser.
SARAH: Oh, yeah. It's probably more important
KAYLA: Bitch. Yes
SARAH: Oh, no
KAYLA: Oh, everything is just going to shit
SARAH: I just dropped my microphone on the ground perfect.
KAYLA: Perfect. I love that
SARAH: Oh, no, okay, I’m just going to… I’m just going to hold it in my hand for the end because this is…
KAYLA: This is going to have to stay the end
SARAH: Oh, I’m, just going to leave that all in. All right. Thank you for listening, tune in on Saturday to join us on the live stream and tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your microphones
SARAH: Please
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]