Ep 279: Aspec Quizzes
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro ace girl I'm Sarah. That's me.
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, Silly Aspec Quizzes.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Uh, what's up?
SARAH: Hey.
KAYLA: What… what up?
SARAH: I've become aware… I've… I'm extra aware of…
KAYLA: Yourself?
SARAH: My mouth noises.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Because they've clearly always existed.
KAYLA: Can you really hear it in your mic though?
SARAH: No… I mean not nearly as much as like the really nice mics.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But when I was like editing last week's podcast I could on occasion hear…
KAYLA: You're going to have to start just housing green apples.
SARAH: I don't like green apples.
KAYLA: You have to find the good ones that Paul had.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'll just go for some straight lemon. Anyway
KAYLA: Anyway, are you also aware because today or yesterday was the last day of Ace Week?
SARAH: And why did it…
KAYLA: No, the day this is coming out. Not today, today, you silly goose.
SARAH: I was like, why would it end on a Tuesday?
KAYLA: You silly goose. I can't remember what day it started, so it's either Sunday or Saturday or Monday probably.
SARAH: Hope you all had a nice Ace Week. We didn't do anything.
KAYLA: No, listen, I posted this on Instagram, but we used to really, really try for Ace Week, and it got really stressful. And we would get so burnt out and so stressed about being online every day.
SARAH: We'd be like, what are we going to do?
KAYLA: Yeah, we'd be like, we have to do something. And then I would be like, I have to repost everything and being online every day, even though there's a ton of aphobia during that week. So, I'd just be online seeing all this terrible shit all week. And it made us very burnt out. And so, we're not doing that.
SARAH: To a fucking crisp.
KAYLA: The thing is that you don't have to celebrate Ace Week at all or like other people do.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. It's a great thing for the community and for some people, but that does not mean you are obligated to engage in it in any particular way or in any way at all.
KAYLA: True. Yeah. No hate to Ace Week. It's obviously absolutely amazing. It is a really fun time for people to do really exciting things. And it is very exciting to see what everyone is doing.
SARAH: Just not us.
KAYLA: Yeah. I like to be able to take in what people are doing at a leisurely and healthy pace. So anyway, that's why we didn't do anything because we're taking care of ourselves.
SARAH: We also did forget that it was coming, but I feel like even if we had remembered, we still wouldn't have done it.
KAYLA: Shh. Shh. No. Because listen, for us, Ace Week is every week because we do this podcast. So really, and I say this every year and I do mean it, you guys should be doing something for us on Ace Week. So.
SARAH: All right. So, any other housekeeping? No?
KAYLA: Um, hashtag soon.
SARAH: Hashtag soon. Um, Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, we're going to be a couple of silly Sally's.
SARAH: Silly Sally's. You know, Sally is a nickname for Sarah and I think that's just so wrong.
KAYLA: Really? That's very silly.
SARAH: Like I think it can just be its own name also, but it is also a nickname for Sarah, which doesn't make any fucking sense because it's the same number of syllables and only two of the five letters are the same.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't get that. Also, yeah, I guess I never considered whether Sally was like a real name or a nickname because I'd always just heard it as a real name.
SARAH: It can be both.
KAYLA: There's like this person's name is Sally. I guess I've never met anyone named Sally.
SARAH: Recently, for some reason, I have... Do you remember that kids book that was like silly Sally went to town walking backwards upside down?
KAYLA: Um, no.
SARAH: Okay, well there's a children's book from silly Sally and she goes to town walking backwards upside down. And for some reason, that first line of that book has been stuck in my head for like weeks.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: And so, anytime I'm like, oh, that's silly, like my brain is like, silly Sally went to town.
KAYLA: Walks to town.
SARAH: And then I'm like, am I silly Sally? But I hate that Sally is a nickname for Sarah.
KAYLA: Signs point to yes.
SARAH: I can't walk backwards upside down anymore because of my fucking wrist.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Anyway, get fucking silly Sally out of my head. I can't get her out.
KAYLA: I think you have to, well, usually to get a song out of your head, you have to listen to it. But this isn't a song. Maybe you have to read the book.
SARAH: The book that I haven't read since I was a child.
KAYLA: Maybe if you read it, it'll get out.
SARAH: I'll read it and then I'll read click clack mook, how's that type?
KAYLA: Oh, you know what I liked? Um, chicka chicka boom boom. That was a slay.
SARAH: Anyway, now that we've had our segment on English language children's books.
KAYLA: Rainbow fish? Fuck yeah.
SARAH: Okay, rainbow fish, dude.
KAYLA: Hungry hungry caterpillar? That was my fucking guy.
SARAH: Um, anyway, so we're being silly. We're taking quizzes.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: This first quiz, um, it came up one month and ten days ago at the time of recording. Because my friend texted it to me and said, you should take this quiz. I want to know what you are. And I said, that is a great idea. However, this seems like incredible fodder for a podcast episode. Therefore, I will not be taking this quiz and I will be getting back to you in three to five business months. And so, the fact that this is only going to be like a month and a half later.
KAYLA: Huge
SARAH: Huge
KAYLA: Huge stuff.
SARAH: Way ahead of schedule.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Way ahead of schedule. So that's the first one we're going to take. Do you want me to send these to you so we can put in our separate answers?
KAYLA: Yes. I think you sent me the first one.
SARAH: I did.
KAYLA: I have that one. But the rest, yeah, you'll have to send me.
SARAH: So, this first one is on Playbuzz.com. Shout out to my friend Stina for sending me this. You are an OG.
KAYLA: Hell yeah. And this is like a user-made quiz.
SARAH: Yeah, they all are.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: And this is, what kind of aspec magic do you have? All the people on the ace-spectrum are made of their unique individual magic. Answer the questions to find out what you're made of. Created by Chuang Wang.
KAYLA: Well, this is so cute. Are you a galaxy aspec? An oceanic aspec? A paranormal aspec? It's impossible to fully describe the beauty of people on the ace aro spectrum. For some, the silent vigilance of a misty graveyard is reminiscent of their inner power as an ace. For others, it is the pounding roar of a waterfall. This quiz formalizes some fun questions into a whimsical description of the interviewee. Remember, there's no one way to be on the ace-spectrum. That's so cute!
SARAH: What a delight!
KAYLA: All right, the first question.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Gosh, there's so many options.
SARAH: Just wait till we get to the you quiz ones. Okay. You're given a trustworthy animal companion to aid you on a journey into the unknown. Which do you choose? This is another secret little clue. I read that first sentence and I was like, I didn't like that delivery. Let me do it again.
KAYLA: Oh my god. I will say, since recording, just talking to people, I have found myself stopping in the middle of sentences and more carefully re-saying stumbled words when I previously just would have talked through it like a normal fucking person. But then I'm like, no, hold on. I swallowed that word.
SARAH: I swallowed that. I got to do it again.
KAYLA: It's so stupid.
SARAH: Anyway. You're given a trustworthy animal companion to aid you on a journey into the unknown. Which do you choose? Options are a large horse with fire in its gaze, a young enthusiastic rat that enjoys snuggling in your pocket, a crow with a crooked beak and a glint in its eye, a brown and black striped cat with graying fur and an echoing voice, a quiet and contemplative boa constrictor that fits nicely across your shoulders, a huge white wolf lined with vital scars, or a nimble fox with a strangely unknown history?
KAYLA: Oh man
SARAH: I'm thinking either cat or fox. The thing that I find a little disarming about the cat is that why is their voice echoing? Does that mean the voice is loud? If it's loud, I don't like that.
KAYLA: The graying fur scares me because I'm like, oh no, is it getting old? I don't want it to die soon.
SARAH: But it's wise.
KAYLA: It is wise. I want to choose something that's cuddly, so I'm leaning towards the cat. I want to say the wolf, but why does it have so many battle scars?
SARAH: Yeah, I think I'm going to go with the cat. I'm wary of the fox because what's their unknown history?
KAYLA: Right. You know what? I'm going to do the wolf. I'm going to do the wolf because clearly it has lived through a lot, so it can protect me and also be a good snuggle.
SARAH: You are at a cafe run by witches. What do you order? A hot chocolate that will temporarily prevent minor body pains. A breakfast sandwich that helps protect you from secondhand embarrassment. A blended iced coffee that will prevent an upcoming acne breakout.
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SARAH: A delicious latte sprinkled with mysterious spices not of this world. A simple hot tea that grants you temporary immunity to colds and infections. A slice of cake that keeps you full all day. An espresso that will temporarily allow you to speak in another language. Or a danish that allows you to see a wider color spectrum for the day. I want to speak in another language, bro.
KAYLA: Here's another problem, here's a problem for me. Is that there's some of these that I really want the effect, but I don't like the food or drink they come in.
SARAH: I'm ignoring the food or drink because I won't eat most of these foods and drinks.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: So, like, I'm ignoring that and just looking at the effect.
KAYLA: Okay, I want to do the hot chocolate that prevents minor body pains because I always have a headache. And I feel like a headache falls under that.
SARAH: I had a really bad headache today and then I was like, I have to actually get meds now. Right now.
KAYLA: Oh no, oh no.
SARAH: Alright, which best describes the last dream you had? This is going to be fucking hard for me because I never...
KAYLA: Hold on, let me think, I need to think because I had a dream last night.
SARAH: Recently I've had them more often but they're gone now, I don't know.
KAYLA: Okay, I actually remember my dream last night. It was upsetting.
SARAH: What the fuck was my last dream?
KAYLA: Oh, there's an option for that, don't worry.
SARAH: Oh my god. A whimsical adventure, a confrontation between enemies, an important mission, an indescribable amalgamation of imagery, a known fear realized, a memory, or I haven't remembered a dream for a long time!
KAYLA: Okay, can I describe what I remember of my dream from last night and you help me pick?
SARAH: Yeah, I just clicked away from the options though so I don't remember what they are.
KAYLA: Okay, so from what I remember of the dream. So first of all, the reason I think I had this dream is because yesterday I bought a blonde wig for my Halloween costume, so it was on the mind. And I had been joking with Dean about it.
SARAH: What's your Halloween costume?
KAYLA: I'm being Nicole Kidman AMC from the AMC.
SARAH: Oh, right.
KAYLA: And I had joked with Dean because he was like, oh yeah, I didn't want to get the wig at first because I was like, oh, it is so itchy. And then he was like, no, you have to, it's Halloween. So, I was joking with him. This is real life still, by the way. This is just context. I was joking with him like, oh, you just want me to get a wig because you wish I was blonde. And he was like, ha ha, yeah. And I was like, oh, this is so silly. And then, so my dream last night was, all I remember is I think I was talking to someone that was like Dean's ex or something. And she was like, oh yeah, like he doesn't actually love you. Like he's actually really into blondes. Like he led me on for a long time, too. But like, he's going to like, he doesn't actually love you. He's just like with you because whatever.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: So, it's not a whimsical adventure. I guess it could be a confrontation between enemies. Not an important mission. Not an indescribable amalgamation of imagery.
SARAH: I think it's a confrontation.
KAYLA: Is it a known fear realized? Am I afraid?
SARAH: I don't know that that's a known fear. Well, maybe you're just afraid that Dean's just going to leave. Maybe this…
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: We need to just call up our college friend who was really good at interpreting dreams.
KAYLA: It’s true. I'm just going to say a confrontation, because I feel like that girl was probably my enemy.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: She's probably trying to fuck with me.
SARAH: Next. Which field of study do you find the most difficult? Visual arts, the ability to capture likeness from sight or memory, mathematics, the practice of finding one right answer at the end of a problem, performance, having a plus design personality and ability to act, handiness, dealing with physical objects and crafts, writing, using words described in relay or chemistry using ingredients in an environment to prompt reactions, um, I've never in my life taken a chem class.
KAYLA: I'm going to say chemistry because my honors chemistry class was one of my least favorite and most difficult classes in high school.
SARAH: I'm not going to say chem because I've literally never taken it, so I don't know.
KAYLA: Fair
SARAH: And I do know that I hate math.
KAYLA: The thing about chemistry though is that it's also a lot of math. Which just makes it worse.
SARAH: I'm going to say math because I got a 1 on the AP Calc AP class. Don't forget.
KAYLA: Yeah. It's okay, I got a 2 in stats.
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: And then I went on to ace the college version of that class.
SARAH: Incredible. You have the day off, what do you do? Relax, eat good food, and have some quiet time alone. Connect with friends, perhaps go out. Work on some projects you haven't had time for. Watch movies, TV, video games, books, and other media. Or catch up on errands. What if I intend to do all of those things and then just sleep?
KAYLA: Why can't I relax, eat good food, and have alone time while also watching movies, TV, and video games? Those seem like the same thing to me.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I'm going to say the watch movies one.
SARAH: Yeah, I'm going to say that also. But really for the other media sections.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You can make a proxy of your soul within a single physical object, preventing death. What object would you choose? Okay, so this is like a Horcrux.
KAYLA: Yes. First of all, I don't… oh, there's an option for this. Okay, read on.
SARAH: A piece of jewelry that can be carried with me for safety. A self-portrait to maximize its protection power is a seemingly unimportant object for discretion. The object itself doesn't matter, but it would be under strict lock and key. Consenting loved one, which aids them as well, at the cost of control over the proxy. I would not make a soul proxy.
KAYLA: I just don't think I would do this.
SARAH: I wouldn't. If someone for some reason held a gun to my head and was like, you have… But then also that goes against… If they held a gun to my head and said, you have to make a proxy so you don't die, then the holding of the gun to your head does not have… anyway, if for some reason I had to, I would do a seemingly unimportant object. But I would not do it.
KAYLA: I don't think… My immediate reaction was like, this is stupid. So, I'm just going to say I wouldn't do it. I know that's not the fun answer, but like, so silly.
SARAH: Alright, which place would you vacation? You have five days, guaranteed safety, and a luggage limit of two 50-pound bags. For five days? That's a lot.
KAYLA: That’s big. That’s a lot
SARAH: That's a lot of space for five days. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: An elven wood with an ancient society saturated with magic, an alien capital famed for diplomacy and cultural diversity, an underwater society full of secrets about earth, an ancient magic ruin devoid of people largely unknown or a luxury resort all expenses paid but utterly human in all aspects?
KAYLA: I think the elven wood.
SARAH: I think so too. I was really drawn to the ancient magic ruin until it said devoid of people largely unknown
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s not fun
SARAH: Because… I know it says that you were guaranteed safety, but I think the unknown would just freak me out a little too much. Like that's not a vacation. That's an adventure.
KAYLA: Yeah. I also was drawn to the underwater society, but then it's full of secrets about my earth, which I don't want to think about on vacation.
SARAH: Yeah, I don't want to go underwater, so
KAYLA: Elven wood.
SARAH: You're lost in a dark woods famous for spirits and fair folk. Do you feel terrified? I don't feel safe at all. Frightened but not overcome, I'm still in my element. Nervous but confident, I have allies in this world. Excited, this will be an adventure. Or neutral, I have no strong feelings either way.
KAYLA: Here's the thing is I would like to say I'm excited because I personally like I would like to be haunted and I would like to be so serious. I want to meet a ghost and like I want to meet a fairy or whatever. But like…
SARAH: Like Ryan Bergara
KAYLA: I mean listen I'm Ryan Bergara and you're Shane okay at the… it's just how it is. But like actually in that situation, I don't know that I'd be very chill. I just don't know.
SARAH: I would be nervous but confident, I have allies in this world
KAYLA: I think I’m going to say yes, I think I'm going to say the same thing.
SARAH: Which of these professions appeals to you most? Farming, animal husbandry and agriculture; ranger, exploring new lands, pioneering in cartography; alchemy, chemistry, biology, and the pursuit of scientific magic; espionage, working with shadows, manipulating those in power; or entertainment, art, music, and the stage? See in a magical way if it was like a magic thing, I would be like fuck yeah alchemy sounds cool but then…
KAYLA: No, it’s still chemistry
SARAH: But that's just chemistry.
KAYLA: It's still chemistry. It's still going to be terrible even when it's magic.
SARAH: Ranger was exciting until it said exploring new lands cool but then we get to pioneering and…
KAYLA: No, cartography
SARAH: Cartography, I'll get fucking lost bro.
KAYLA: No, no. I'm going to say entertainment which seems like the boring answer but like.
SARAH: I’m also going to accept what I’m work in right now
KAYLA: I feel like I'm already doing that so.
SARAH: But I’m already there. If you rent a restaurant, what would it be like? Bad. Okay. Casual, filled with light and cozy furniture, a place to snack on lunch located amongst other independent shops. Glamorous, modern and fancy, famed for its atmosphere, luxury food and illustrious crowd. Tiny and crowded, cheap and affordable but known locally for amazing food. A bar, a place to socialize, make new friends and build connections. A cute food truck, limited menu, keeps odd hours but a favorite amongst many. Or romantic, decorated, quality food, perfect for a candlelit dinner. The first one casual.
KAYLA: I think I'm going to do a bar.
SARAH: Damn
KAYLA: It seems silly.
SARAH: I'm going to be located amongst other independent shops so fucking take that bitch.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Which of these weathers do you favor? Dusk is hidden behind mist… nope. Dusk is hidden behind thick misty cloud cover or raindrop falls but no rain comes pouring. A warm sunny day populated with others enjoying this warmth and slight breeze. Fluffy gentle snowfall paints a white blinded morning where no footprints yet taint the ground.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: A summer downpour flooding on the concrete reflects neon lights of the night. Your breath is visible in the chill, fallen leaves scatter in the dim afternoon sun. I was on board with the summer downpour until we got to fucking fall bro.
KAYLA: It's got to be fall I'm sorry.
SARAH: It's got to be fall. You're in a crisis situation and must choose an ally. Talk Valentina.
KAYLA: Ally.
SARAH: Which do you associate with? The young werewolf who struggles with their transformations but are otherwise trustworthy. The mysterious neighborhood witch rumored for many monstrosities but insists on their innocence. The social and polite demon aged and boasting 11 PhDs.
KAYLA: It restarted!
SARAH: Oh no!
KAYLA: Hold on I have to quickly re-answer everything.
SARAH: Well, let me just read through this. The ghost of a murdered spouse capable of immense power but consumed with grief. The older vampire experienced and willing to help but has a violent history and a mischievous fae in the form of a moth who demands a small payment after the eight is completed. Young werewolf.
KAYLA: Hold on. Let me fucking re-answer everything.
SARAH: I would rather have someone that they themselves are trustworthy even if they struggle with shit. This is a metaphor for mental health.
KAYLA: Okay, hold on.
SARAH: I was on board with the older vampire until they said they have a violent history. For me I would need to know how long ago that violent history was.
KAYLA: Yeah. Oh man. I mean, I feel like I have to choose the ghost. I got what they have going. Plus like a murder, that's sassy.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I’m into the murdered spouse.
SARAH: I'm going to go werewolf. Okay. Which of these homes appeal to you the most? A secluded cabin with full amenities but isolated from cities. A luxury penthouse close to the heights of human society. A townhouse in a prime location close to downtown. A tiny mobile home environmentally conscious and able to travel. A farm ranch surrounded by your garden and other natures. An isolated villa, modern and luxurious. An old-fashioned mansion full of history, restored but preserved. Or an inner-city apartment small and simple but romantic in its noir.
KAYLA: I'm going to do a townhouse.
SARAH: See, I want to say townhouse but... How am I supposed to have a dog at a townhouse? It doesn't have a yard.
KAYLA: A townhouse could have a yard.
SARAH: Maybe like in the back.
KAYLA: Yeah, like a little one.
SARAH: Okay. Okay, I'm going to do a townhouse.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: You've been invited to multiple parties tonight. First of all, unrealistic. Who is this happening to? Which do you attend? The dinner party with professional associates in a casual dress code...
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Hopefully you'll make new connections tonight. A cozy movie night with old friends watching childhood cartoons in a night of nostalgia. The artsy gathering boasting local artists and fundraising for the local community. The large party promising a loud crowd and drinks, The ideal place to make new friends. A formal charity dinner with a raffle for a cause you care about. A mystery murder party where the guests dress for the theme and play a game with the host. I'll stay at home and not go to any parties. Here's the thing. I want to go to a murder mystery party.
KAYLA: That's what I was just going to say. I think I want to go to the murder mystery party.
SARAH: Like, presumably I know whoever is hosting this like pretty well.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: So, um, I will actually go to the murder mystery party. Thank you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And finally, which of these strengths do you find yourself using most often? my knowledge and intelligence, my charisma, friendliness and compassion, my bravery and willingness to take risks, my patience, patience, patience and fortitude to overcome obstacles. Clearly, I don't have that because I didn't even have the patience to read that word slowly enough that it came out right. And my intuitive nature and ability to adapt.
KAYLA: I don't know. None? None of the above?
SARAH: Am I intuitive? No.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I'm going to say that rizz dude.
KAYLA: The thing is, I think I am intuitive, but I do not have the ability to adapt. I do not care to adapt
SARAH: I feel like I have the ability to adapt sometimes.
KAYLA: No, you don't.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: You are mentally unwell. I don't think you love to adapt.
SARAH: I'm a little baby.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm going to say my rizz, dude.
KAYLA: I guess I'll say my knowledge and intelligence. I guess I'm just super smart or whatever.
SARAH: Like 10 years ago, when I was in high school, I would have said my knowledge and intelligence. I would have been like, I'm a Ravenclaw. And now I'm like, I don't know shit.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm going to say my fucking rizz, bro. All right.
KAYLA: What you get?
SARAH: Calculate my results. Interesting. Stop scrolling. I am the Winter Aspec.
KAYLA: Wait, so am I.
SARAH: Oh my god. You embody the longest and oldest period of time, the height of the zodiac where everyone sleeps and the rest of the world wakes up. This gives you a haven within isolation where you're never actually alone. Your power is not spontaneous, but instead hearty and defined by your fortitude with the stamina of a nomad. Spend some time listening to the wind and the creaking of trees who will gladly impart wisdom. Don't be afraid to weather the bad times and celebrate periods of peace. I mean, I like that description.
KAYLA: That's very good.
SARAH: I'm a little wary of just winter generally because like once we hit like mid-January I'm like done.
KAYLA: Done. Yeah.
SARAH: Not here because I live in fucking LA, but like, you know.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But honestly, I like this description. Hold on, I need to text my friend that I did the...
KAYLA: So maybe since we both got this, I guess our podcast is just Winter Aspec?
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Actually, hold on. I realize now that I saved the quiz on September 15th.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: But is that when she sent it to me?
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: We had a really robust conversation about the movie Cars.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Okay, she sent it to me on July 26th.
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: So, it has been three to five business months.
KAYLA: Okay, but we were within the three to five?
SARAH: Hello. It has been three to five business months.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: I got winter aspec on that quiz.
KAYLA: You know, the one from months ago?
SARAH: No, wait. What did she get? Because she said she didn't really necessarily agree with it
KAYLA: Mm.
SARAH: OMG. She didn't even tell me what she got. Just that it didn't resonate with her. I mean, so…
KAYLA: What the hell
SARAH: Well, now we know that.
KAYLA: Thank God.
SARAH: Next quiz. What type of aspec are you?
KAYLA: Listen to me
SARAH: I'm working on it, you whore. The rest of these are you quizzes, which are often a fucking delight, and they always ask for your name, and I always just give it a random word.
KAYLA: Oh. I'm going to give it my name.
SARAH: This time I'm Lou.
KAYLA: Just kidding. I tried to type my name, and it came out as Jake, so I guess I'm Jake.
SARAH: Okay. First question. Which of my hyperfixations I can't escape from are you?
KAYLA: Oh, so this is just very personal to this person.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: You quizzes are always like that. Okay. Classical literature, Tolkien, Tolkien, Tolkien, aesthetics, mythology, and science. What if I combined classical literature and mythology? Now I'm going to say mythology.
KAYLA: I'm going to say classic literature.
SARAH: Oh my god. Together we are slay.
KAYLA: We are it.
SARAH: Pick an acephobic and or arophobic comment we get way too often. Inclusionists in general, man. Exclusionists. Did I say inclusionists?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Whatever. But you just haven't met the right person yet. But love or sex is what makes us human. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's not a sexuality. You're just on meds slash have a disorder. Joke's on you. I am on meds and have disorder, but it's not about this. Aww, but you're so attractive. I can change your mind. Do you not feel love at all? Prude or incredibly inappropriate and invasive questions about our sex lives.
KAYLA: I'm going to say, aww, but you're so attractive.
SARAH: I'm going to get the I can change your mind because I've personally never actually gotten that, but it is so... It makes my skin crawl.
KAYLA: It's very... These are all very icky.
SARAH: So, so, so, so, so icky. And they didn't say pick the ickiest, they just said pick one.
KAYLA: Yeah. It’s true
SARAH: But that's how I'm interpreting the question.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Alright, what part of allo culture confuses you the most? The fact that they can just look at someone and instantly be turned on? Like, how? That they think their way of life is the only possible option. The predatory nature of it all, the chasing, possessiveness, stalking, it all seems very alarming, honestly. The fact that they're so obsessed with sex and romance, seriously, does every song need to be about kissing? Their utter lack of humor or aesthetics, I don't know man, everything? Or, come on man, the allos deserve rights too.
KAYLA: Here's my thing, is I want to say the utter lack of humor or aesthetics, but I feel like that is more... I don't think that's only an allo thing, I think that's a straight allo thing specifically. Because I think queer allo people have good sense of humor and aesthetics. It's just the straight... you know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah, I'm going to say one about the turned on one. Like what?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Please confirm or deny, is that true?
KAYLA: I'm going to say the predatory nature.
SARAH: Okay. Do you…
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Did you have this dragonology book as a child? Yes, no, or I'm not sure. I did not, actually.
KAYLA: I didn't have the dragonology, I think I had the fairyology one though. It was the pink one. So, can I still say yes? I guess no. I didn’t have…
SARAH: It's not about dragons.
KAYLA: I guess I didn't have the dragonology book. I remember looking at it.
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Pick a character that is either canonically ace or a headcanon as ace. Because we need representation, damn it. Jonathan Simms, I don't know who that is.
KAYLA: Nope
SARAH: Caduceus Clay, rings a bell but I don't know what fandom that is. Charlie Weasley, Sherlock Holmes, or the Doctor. And it specifically shows the 12th Doctor. I'm going to say the Doctor.
KAYLA: I'm also going to say the Doctor.
SARAH: Which fantasy creature would you rather be? Dragon, Hobbit, an eldritch monstrosity called up from the void, forest beast, or vampire?
KAYLA: I want to be a monstrosity.
SARAH: I want to be a dragon. I want to breathe fire, bro. Imma fly.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: Which of these do you identify with most, tragedy or comedy?
KAYLA: I mean, it really depends on the day, does it not?
SARAH: I'm going to be hopeful and say comedy.
KAYLA: Right now, I'm very eepy and I have a night cough, so I'm going to say tragedy.
SARAH: Okay. Which of these things that I've been described as fits you best? Owl-like, older sibling vibes, like a confused rabbit, forest-like or bohemian. I am like a confused rabbit.
KAYLA: Yeah, you are. I don't know, what am I?
SARAH: Not older sibling vibes.
KAYLA: No. No, no.
SARAH: You're bohemian.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I'm going to say you're bohemian.
KAYLA: Okay. Sure. Okay.
SARAH: What's your favorite BuzzFeed…
KAYLA: What did I just click on?
SARAH: Unsolved quote?
KAYLA: Oh, now this is a... stop, I don't want an ad. Stop! Stop it! Let me go back! Sorry.
SARAH: You've managed to fuck them both up so far.
KAYLA: No, it's back. Okay, I'm back.
SARAH: Okay. What is your favorite BuzzFeed Unsolved quote?
KAYLA: Oh, man.
SARAH: Hey there, demons. It's me, ya boi. Hey ghouls, the boys are here. Fuck you, goat man. I'm here for the cult stuff. Look, it's a g-g-g-g-ghost butt. Or it's me, mothman. You boys from out of town. I have to say, Hey there, demons. It's me, ya boi. It's a classic…
KAYLA: It's a classic.
SARAH: And it was said…
KAYLA: By Shane.
SARAH: Yeah, I was going to say… I had a moment where I was like, Wait, what if Ryan said that?
KAYLA: No, that's by Shane. I'm going to say, I really want to pick that one, because it's a classic, but I'm going to do the cult stuff one. Because I am here for the cult stuff.
SARAH: Yeah, and you're also… who said the cult stuff one? Do you know?
KAYLA: It feels Shane, but I don't know.
SARAH: It does feel Shane.
KAYLA: These all kind of feel Shane.
SARAH: They do, yeah. Alright, pick a metal, silver, gold, bronze, copper, or brass.
KAYLA: I mean, I'm a gold girly in jewelry.
SARAH: I'm a gold girly too, but I'm drawn to the bronze right now, because it seems like swords. So, I actually am going to say bronze, just for funsies.
KAYLA: I'm going to say gold.
SARAH: Which drink do you prefer? Tea, hot chocolate, coffee, cider, or pop?
KAYLA: Uh, pop. It says soda, but we all know it's pop. My answer is pop.
SARAH: Which symbol of asexual or aromantic culture are you? Dragon, space, cake, cards, or plants?
KAYLA: I'm going to say cards.
SARAH: I wish I were plants, but I'm dragons.
KAYLA: I clicked on the data scam.
SARAH: Or am I space? Stop clicking on ads. Am I space?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: I'm going to say dragons. Oh my god, I got my result.
KAYLA: What is your result?
SARAH: I'm a dragoness.
KAYLA: Okay, I'm not. I got a different one
SARAH: It says you probably play dungeons and dragons, don't you? Either that or you were just knee-deep in that dragonology book we all inexplicably had as children. Actually, neither. But I still look...
KAYLA: But here we are.
SARAH: But here we are. You probably know a lot about mythology, that's true. Have a bit of a treasure hoard, that's true. I just am afraid to spend money. And had an occult. Occult? Occult phase in middle or high school. Not really. A lot of people are confused by your dirty jokes, but sex is funny as long as you're not involved with it. So, rock on, dude. You also have really good taste in music. Oh my god thank you. So, you end up making playlist for loved ones because it's one of your passions. 10 out of 10.
KAYLA: Okay, I got Space Ace.
SARAH: Ooh.
KAYLA: It says in space, no one can hear you scream. And most importantly no one can invalidate your sexuality to your face. Because you can't breathe in space and they'd be dead. It's practically heaven. You probably really like the idea of void punk and you are just the biggest nerd here. You can info dump for years and probably have a really cute fashion sense to boot. 10 out of 10.
SARAH: I'm retaking it and just changing my last answer and see if it changes anything.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Am I… Space cake, cards, or plants? Which one am I?
KAYLA: I don't know. What did you say last time?
SARAH: Space. Well, I already took out the…
KAYLA: Did it change it?
SARAH: I changed my answer. I said space and I got space ace.
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: Which must mean that I was on the cusp.
KAYLA: On the cusp.
SARAH: Yeah. Damn. I'm pretty upset that I didn't get sword ace, I will say.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: But, you know. We move.
KAYLA: We move.
SARAH: Alright, what kind of aromantic representation are you? We don't have time to do all of these so I'm just going to try and find the best one.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: This one is just, would I simp for you? Except I'm on the aspec.
KAYLA: I need to take it.
SARAH: There were some that are like, what character that I head canon as aspec are you? But I don't know what fandoms these people are coming from so I don't know if I would even know any of them.
KAYLA: I was just like, who texted me?
SARAH: It was me.
KAYLA: It was you.
SARAH: Alright, how do you dress? Goth, emo, alt, basic.
KAYLA: Wait hold on, it's loading.
SARAH: As fuck. I'm reading it for the kids dude. You can read. Street wear, coquette, cottagecore, or other. I'm going to say street wear.
KAYLA: I would say that's correct for you. Oh man, um, I don't know what to answer for this.
SARAH: You're a little cottagecore but not like crazy.
KAYLA: Not really. Am I basic?
SARAH: Maybe.
KAYLA: Oh no, I think that might be true.
SARAH: I feel like you can't say other unless you can identify what the other is.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know what… I'm looking at my clothes right now and I don't know what's going on there. So, I guess I'm just basic.
SARAH: Alright. Please clarify with detail how you dress. Like if a grape was a human but with a preference for corsets, etc.
KAYLA: What does that even mean?
SARAH: Steam punk Ingrid Nilsson. If you know, you know.
KAYLA: I... um...
SARAH: I got to question three. I don't think this question's going to matter much in the end because it's not multiple choice.
KAYLA: Okay, anyway, moving on.
SARAH: How do you feel about K-pop? Disgusting, it's okay but not my thing, or yes, I love it? Yes, I love it.
KAYLA: I'm going to say it's okay but it's not my thing.
SARAH: What does expeditious mean?
KAYLA: Oh, um...
SARAH: IDK, efficient and prompt, excessive amounts of something, or fluid and superfluous. Uh, it's efficient and prompt.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
SARAH: Do you like pasta? Yes, no, or yes and I can make it too. I'm just going to say yes because I can't really... I can put noodles in water but like...
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm just going to say yes because like, I can but like it's just from a jar, you know?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Not crazy.
SARAH: Do you know who Han Jisung is? Yes, unfortunately, or no?
KAYLA: Do I?
SARAH: I mean... It would be a little embarrassing for you if you didn't?
KAYLA: Okay, so I do know who it is.
SARAH: He's a member of Stray Kids.
KAYLA: Oh, that, no, I don't.
SARAH: I can't believe…
KAYLA: I'm not a stay!
SARAH: I can't believe you're one quarter of a baby's stay and you're not…
KAYLA: I don't…
SARAH: Yes, I know who Han is. Jeez.
KAYLA: I'm sorry, I don't.
SARAH: Tell me whatever you want. He he, no.
KAYLA: Oh no! They're not going to simp for me.
SARAH: Please, please, what does it say?
KAYLA: It says, LOL no, why did you try? No, just go away and date a cheerleader or football player.
SARAH: I got yes on my knees right now. Please marry you. Please marry me. You are so aesthetically pleasing and you have perfect vibes and I would so want to be your bestest friend in the whole wide world. Have a lovely day. Yeah.
KAYLA: Can you please go find their stan account and message and tweet them and say that we took this?
SARAH: They gave their @ in the last…
KAYLA: I know, that's what I'm saying. I need you to follow them from your stan account. And say hello bestie. I heard you were going to simp for me. We took your quiz by podcast.
SARAH: You want to simp for me bro? Hold on, let me find their twitter. BRB. Working hard. That page no longer exists. They probably changed their @
KAYLA: Nooooooo. They'll never know.
SARAH: They’ll never know
KAYLA: If anyone knows the person that made this, let me set some…
SARAH: Well, they say I run the fan account. I guess it doesn't say it's on twitter. Maybe it's on Instagram. It's on Instagram. Closed but still your favorite.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Okay. Well, they're in love with me, as expected.
KAYLA: Yeah well. What are you going to do? Everyone is in love with Sarah.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: I'm very cool. There was another one that was funny that we're not going to take because I don't know who the person is who made it. But it's assigning you a guy I find attractive as an aromantic.
KAYLA: But I want to take it.
SARAH: But like I don't know who… Okay, well we can take it. They also said that there's going to be a lot of DSMP stuff on here so I apologize before… I googled it. It's something to do with something.
KAYLA: Huh? Okay. Huh?
SARAH: Alright. You know what? I'm into this. Okay. Question 1. Pick an interest my autistic brain is currently obsessed with. The Batman, 2022. Rambo. Six the Musical. Bojack Horseman. Or South Park. Fucking Six the Musical. Let's go.
KAYLA: Yeah, I'm going to say that too.
SARAH: What color did you want to paint your room as a preteen? Hot pink, white, neon green, mustard yellow, olive green, or teal. Um, when I was in high school… okay, here's what happened. As a child, I had a room that was yellow.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: And then when I was in like, late middle school, high school-ish? Like, I think I was… I think it was late middle school I switched to a different bedroom that was smaller because I wanted a smaller bedroom.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: I don't know. So that is now my bedroom. And then when I was in high school… yeah, I was in middle-school. And then in high-school we like redid it, but I just painted the walls more white.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: So, I'm going to say white.
KAYLA: So, what… When I was a child, I had hot… well, okay, when I was very young, there was wallpaper on the walls that had like carousel horses on it. The house just like came that way when we moved in, I think. And then when I was a kid, we painted it hot, hot, hot pink.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: But then, as a preteen, when we moved into the house that my family is now in, it's yellow and blue. Like, some walls are yellow and some walls are blue.
SARAH: You know, I actually am now rethinking this, because one of… okay, the options are hot pink, white, neon green, mustard yellow, olive green, and teal. My painting my room white, I was a teen. I was not a preteen.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: If I were a preteen, I probably would have said teal.
KAYLA: They always do.
SARAH: Yeah. I was more of like an aqua girly, but like, if teal is our option.
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm going to say mustard yellow, because that's like the closest to what happened.
SARAH: Pick something I really want but don't have the money for. A vinyl from… oh, who is that? That song?
KAYLA: Egor?
SARAH: I think that stands for something that's…
KAYLA: Oh, I thought that was like the name of the artist.
SARAH: No, it's… oh, it is Egor… it's Tyler the Creator.
KAYLA: Oh, oh.
SARAH: I recognize that guy's face, but I couldn't place it. This Build-A-Bear frog I already named Harold. A liquid timer. Why does the kid look high in this photo? Don't worry about it. The entire Heartstopper book collection or candle boobs. I'm going to say the Build-A-Bear frog.
KAYLA: I'm also going to say that because I literally just texted Dean a couple days ago that I want to go to Build-A-Bear.
SARAH: I love the candle boobs for other people, but like it's not my vibe.
KAYLA: I would get them, but I struggle with just getting a decorative candle.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Like I can't do that.
SARAH: Yeah. If you don't know what candle boobs are.
KAYLA: It's just… it looks like a human body.
SARAH: It's like a human torso, but it's a candle.
KAYLA: Yeah. And she has boobs.
SARAH: And there are different people that make them, and I've seen some that are really lovely and make like a lot of different like body types and sizes.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And it's a fun time.
KAYLA: Yeah. I would get like a sculpture of that, but I can't… I can't get a sculptural candle. I need a candle to part, you know? I can't just have a candle sitting there.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's silly.
SARAH: I think my girl at Pretty Honest Candles makes them.
KAYLA: Mm.
SARAH: This black-owned candle company. Which I would recommend. Pick a type of pasta to eat for dinner tonight. Rigatoni, macaroni, plain old spaghetti, farfalle. I can't have or don't like pasta. Diddilini, ravioli, or penne. I've never heard of diddilini. Obviously, the answer is fucking farfalle. That's the only fucking answer.
KAYLA: I'm going to say plain old spaghetti.
SARAH: Of those options, what is wrong with you? Jesus.
KAYLA: I don't know. That's what I'm most likely to make.
SARAH: Which one of these random events that happen at sleepovers with the same friends sounds the most appealing? Making animation memes with TYS…
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: To the younger sibling. I have no idea what… Making animation memes. Twisting your ankle on a foam pit looking for an Elsa bracelet to propose to your friend with. Playing DDLC till sunrise. DDLC. DDLC. Doki Doki Literature Club. It's a video game. It's like an anime video game.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Genres. Horror game, dating sim, indie game, adventure.
KAYLA: Wow. Wow.
SARAH: That's a lot. Reading Haikyuu X Reader one shots on the trampoline. Sitting outside watching Luca and the Walton Files at 12am in the pure darkness and freaking out at each tiny noise. Waffle making competition, Smiley face. Or having your abusive dad yell at you over the phone and having a panic attack while your friend comforts you on the patio of a Starbucks.
KAYLA: A little specific there.
SARAH: The… one about reading Haikyuu fanfic on the trampoline really speaks to me, except for the fact that it's YN. That part is not me. I've never, for the record, I have never seen or read Haikyuu. I'm not that invested, but I do know I would like it.
KAYLA: I don't even know what that is. However, …
SARAH: Gay volleyball
KAYLA: Oh. I am going to pick that one because I don't like YN fiction. I find it cringy, which is exactly why I would read it out loud on a trampoline with my friends at a sleepover, because it'd be silly.
SARAH: That's fair. You know what?
KAYLA: Oh, the next one has the time limit!
SARAH: Oh my god, go.
KAYLA: I did.
SARAH: I'm going to also say fucking fanfic. Okay. Time limit. Quick, a time limit. Pick something. A, B, C, D, E, C, D, B, or D. Oh, uh, oh, I, my instinct was to say C, and then I changed it to D.
KAYLA: Oh, I picked C.
SARAH: C is like, safe.
KAYLA: That's just what I think.
SARAH: And I didn't want to be safe. I wanted it to be D. How did that time limit make you feel? I'm great. why did you do that? Panic. Or I'm fine. Panic.
KAYLA: I'm going to say, why did you do that?
SARAH: I feel both panic and why did you do that, but I'm going to say panic.
KAYLA: I think you were more panicked.
SARAH: Which of these toxic items would you take a bite out of with no hesitation if you weren't at risk? Air freshener bottle, laundry detergent, chalk, polaroid film, or sand? I think sand.
KAYLA: Really? No, the texture, terrible.
SARAH: At first, I was like, chalk, but the texture, I can't.
KAYLA: And this texture of sand is better?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You're crazy. I'm going to say laundry detergent.
SARAH: For eating? Look, I don't have a problem with chalk generally. I know some people really don't like the feeling of chalk. I did fucking gymnastics. I don't have that problem. But I'm thinking a block of chalk, like gymnastics chalk, biting into that?
KAYLA: No, listen, I don't want to do that either. But you know what I also don't want to do? Is chew sand. Like I've had sand in my mouth before. I don't want to chew that. No, no.
SARAH: Thank you
KAYLA: I'm thinking laundry detergent.
SARAH: Out of these, iconic... See, I don't know any of these. Oh, okay. Out of these, iconic fics from MCYT, Minecraft YouTube.
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: Out of these iconic Minecraft YouTube fics, which will you be reading on a warm Saturday afternoon from the comfort of your bed. There are four, and then there's one that says, what the fuck is this nerd shit? Which is what I'm choosing.
KAYLA: I will also be picking that, because I don't know what this is.
SARAH: Which of these smells do you hate? Vanilla, bacon, the smell of my crawlspace, literally drooling a bit if you choose this, fuck you. Sandalwood, gasoline. I don't hate any of these woods. Um... Sandalwood
KAYLA: I love Sandalwood
SARAH: I don't hate, I'm going to say I don't hate any of these.
KAYLA: I don't either, I don't like vanilla for like a candle particularly, but I don't hate it.
SARAH: You're a fucking monster.
KAYLA: We have different candle tastes.
SARAH: We've been through this.
KAYLA: We've been through this.
SARAH: Which was the best MCU Spider-Man movie, Homecoming, No Way Home, far from home? Fuck, man.
KAYLA: Okay, the only one I've seen is the most recent one. Which one is that?
SARAH: Far from home?
KAYLA: So, I'm going to have to say that.
SARAH: Wait. Now I'm panicking.
KAYLA: I've only seen the most recent one. No, no, I think the most recent one is No Way Home.
SARAH: It is.
KAYLA: Far from home was when he was in Europe, probably.
SARAH: Yes, and then the fucking first one was Spider-Man, Homecoming. I'm going to say, fuck, what happens in the third one?
KAYLA: That's when everybody forgets him.
SARAH: Oh, my God. No
KAYLA: That's when everyone finds out he's Spider-Man and then he's like, goodbye.
SARAH: I'm Homecoming. I'm Spider-Man, Homecoming.
KAYLA: Okay, I have to say the third one because it's the only one I've seen.
[00:50:00]
SARAH: What is your favorite book your school forced you to read? Fucking Percy Jackson. Let's go!
KAYLA: You had Percy Jackson as curriculum?
SARAH: Seventh grade, we read The Lightning Thief.
KAYLA: That's crazy. I can't think of a single book. And it's optional, so I'm not answering because I can't think this fast. It's over. Oh!
SARAH: What did you get?
KAYLA: Big Daddy Thrax. This looks familiar to me, but I can't remember what movie this is. Animated movie. I'll look it up. It says Big Daddy Thrax, but he's a virus. I could fix him.
SARAH: I got Mr. Wolf. It is... Is that from... Again, it's an animated fella. I recognize him. I just texted him to you. But unfortunately, the description on this just says, quote, “When will I get to see Mr. Wolf's cock?”
KAYLA: Yeah, he looks familiar, but I don't... Okay, Thrax is from... Where are you from, King? Osmosis Jones Space Jam, A New Legacy. I don't know if I ever watched Osmosis Jones, but he's the villain in Osmosis Jones. So.
SARAH: Mr. Wolf is the main protagonist of the Dreamworks animated film, The Bad Guys.
KAYLA: I don't think I know that one.
SARAH: It came out in 2022. I don't really know anything about this movie. I think I just said I recognized him because he looks very Dreamworks.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: He just has that Dreamworks Wolf face.
KAYLA: He does.
SARAH: Anyway, these have been our quizzes. This podcast would have been a normal length had Kayla not insisted we do this.
KAYLA: I think we all agree that we needed to do that. I think we all agree.
SARAH: I'm so sorry, Bagel. As always. Okay, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: The problem is we don't know all of the antics. I was going to say which type of magic acebeck are you? But I don't know what all the answers were.
SARAH: Quick, go take all these quizzes and tell us what you know.
KAYLA: Okay, we could just put the link to one of the quizzes and say what… but I still don't know the answers.
SARAH: Well, for the you quizzes at the end, it shows all the possible options.
KAYLA: Oh, does it?
SARAH: Yeah, if you scroll down.
KAYLA: Oh, maybe we'll do that.
SARAH: Okay, Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is wigs. First of all, they gave me bad dreams.
SARAH: Do you wear wigs? Will you wear wigs? When will you wear wigs?
KAYLA: Hush. First of all, they gave me a bad dream last night. Second of all, I was trying to like try on my wig today and figure out how I was going to like, you know, what I was going to do. It's so itchy and so hot and so nasty. I hate it. And I have to wear it because I bought it.
SARAH: You don't have to.
KAYLA: I have to. I have to. So that's my beef. My juice. Oh, another beef is that it's getting warmer. It was so nice and cold. We took all of our air conditioning out. It's so nice. And now it's going to be 70 this weekend. And I'm like, stop. That's another beef for you. My juice, my friend had a very cute fall dinner party that I went to today and it was very sweet.
SARAH: Nice. My beef is I've been very aware of my teeth recently.
KAYLA: Yeah, because they're fucked up. Sorry, I don't mean to attack you, but I need to say that. That's so rude.
SARAH: But like, especially in the last couple days, I've been aware of them in my mouth.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Like, you know...
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Like, you know if you bite into a bread product where... Oh god, I don't like the...
KAYLA: Oh no, she's going to bomb me.
SARAH: I'm not going to bomb.
KAYLA: You look so upset.
SARAH: You know when you bite into a bread product, but the crust is like, not hard, not like you can knock on it. But it's also not super soft, and like, if you put your teeth on it, you can kind of like scrape them on it?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I could not get that... I didn't even experience it. It was just in my head.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: And I kept... And then today, I ate chicken tendies, and they were still pretty warm when I ate them. Like, they were a reasonable temperature. Like, I didn't burn my mouth. But my teeth said, what the fuck is this?
KAYLA: Yeah, very sensitive teeth
SARAH: And my teeth have hurt all day.
KAYLA: Okay, you need to go to your dentist.
SARAH: I don't have a dentist, Kayla.
KAYLA: You need to find a dentist.
SARAH: I just turned 26.
KAYLA: You have got to find a dentist. That is not okay.
SARAH: I actually, over the weekend, my friend did recommend me her dentist.
KAYLA: Thank God.
SARAH: I just have sensitive teeth, and then I got a really bad headache, and I couldn't tell if those things were related or not.
KAYLA: You have to go to the dentist. You just have to go.
SARAH: I just have sensitive teeth. I don't know.
KAYLA: Yeah, but that's bad.
SARAH: You know what they're going to tell me? Yeah. Yeah, sucks, bro.
KAYLA: Okay, I feel like if it's getting this serious, they might say something else.
SARAH: I mean, it's not like I've been in excruciating pain all day. It's just enough that I've noticed it all day.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's not normal. You shouldn't feel your teeth. You just shouldn't. You just should not.
SARAH: Of course, this fucking happens right after I fucking turn 26 and I can no longer.
KAYLA: Yeah, it always does. Of course, it does.
SARAH: But to be fair, now I'm going to have to get a dentist out here, which means I can go at any time.
KAYLA: You don't have to wait until Christmas.
SARAH: I don't have to wait until I'm in Michigan.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway, my other beef is that I've just been really eepy these last two days. I have not gotten enough sleep. My juice is, bro, I got gas today and it was only $5.20 per gallon and that was a fucking steal, bro.
KAYLA: I don't know if that's a juice.
SARAH: We love LA. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your teeth slash your dentist suggestions in the Valley.
KAYLA: Yeah, tell us, dentist Sarah, please, it's an emergency.
SARAH: I don't have dental coverage on my insurance.
KAYLA: Oh, so you're just looking for a dentist.
SARAH: I'm not going to get it. I will not go to the dentist until January. Unless I have like an emergency.
KAYLA: Will you have dental coverage in January?
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Oh, I see.
SARAH: I have to add it.
KAYLA: Jesus Christ. Okay, well. I don't know.
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: I don’t know what to say.
SARAH: We have social media @SoundsFakePod. And okay, but now I've been using that like teeth whitening stuff that you just like add to your toothpaste. And I've been using that for like months. But like it was fine before. But then because I got the extra tooth problems with the other stuff that you like paint on your teeth and because it got all chippy, I'm like, maybe I should stop using the stuff that you add to your toothpaste too. But I have so much of it left.
KAYLA: Maybe just take a little break and see how you feel. And you can always go back. It's not going to go bad.
SARAH: That's true. I will stop.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: We'll see how it goes.
KAYLA: I can't wait to hear about it.
SARAH: Every time I've taken a sip of my cherry coke in this episode, it has been too cold for my teeth.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Anyway, you can tell us about your beef, your joos, your problems on our social media @soundsfakepod. Please don't just tell us about random problems. That's what a therapist is for.
KAYLA: I feel like I said this on the podcast, but recently I added to our website the form you can use to send us an email. I was like, y'all, we aren't therapists. Please be choosy with what you're asking us because
SARAH: Girl, I don't know.
KAYLA: I'm just a girl.
SARAH: Anyway, our $5… we have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $5 patrons that we are promoting this week are Elizabeth Wheeler, Emily Jean, Finest, Galvin Ford, and Green underscore Sarah. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are That's The Wrong Color, our $10 patrons Barefoot Backpacker who would like to promote their YouTube channel, RTW Barefoot, Song of Storm, who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance, ha ha ha ha, Allison, who would like to promote Arden Gray by Ray Stoeve, and Ani, who would like to promote the importance of being kind to yourself, and others. Our other $10 patrons are… oh, I fucked that up. Our other… our other…
KAYLA: Our other… our other…
SARAH: Our other $10 patrons are Arcness, Benjamin Ybarra, Boston Smith, Selena Dobson, David Harris, Derek, and Karessa, Albeta, my aunt Jeannie, Maff, Martin Giselle, Parker and Purple Haze. Our $15 patrons are Ace, who would like to promote The Writer, Crystal, Cher, Andrew Hillam, who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, Dia Chappelle, who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Mourinho, who would like to promote Friends that are supportive, which I'm sure is going to help you guys become a better person, that was a good one, wow, I really got that out. Nathaniel White, who would like to promote Nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, Kayla Zanini, who would like to promote KateMaggartArt.com, and our $20 patron is Dragonfly, who would like to promote getting Sarah dentures.
[01:00:00]
KAYLA: Teeth. We don't have to go that far yet, certainly.
SARAH: Okay, I will probably need to get crowns on like half my teeth by the time I'm like 40.
KAYLA: I've already had a crown.
SARAH: I haven't.
KAYLA: Cool.
SARAH: Kayla fucking came to LA and I was like, wait, look at my chipped teeth, and she was like, wow, you can really see through your teeth.
KAYLA: The bottom of her teeth are transparent, you guys. It's… like I knew she had sent me some pictures and I was like, yeah, pretty bad at this.
SARAH: It's hard to capture it in a photo, especially if you're taking a photo of your own mouth.
KAYLA: But then you see it in real life and you're like, wow, that can't be good.
SARAH: Wow. And yet every time I go to the dentist, they're like, you're an enamel erosion warrior, you're doing so good.
KAYLA: They should stop telling you that because I don't think it's true anymore. Like I do think you're a warrior, I just don't. I'm not confident about like how well you're doing in the battle, you know? I feel like some reinforcements need to be sent in.
SARAH: Earlier today I was like, do I need to start drinking my cherry coke out of straws?
KAYLA: Yeah, that would probably help.
SARAH: I should, but I like the way I drink it.
KAYLA: Which do you like more, having teeth or drinking your cherry coke out of the can? Okay, a good answer.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday, we're still fucking podcasting, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cow's teeth.
SARAH: Please brush them. Floss them. Give them mouthwash.
KAYLA: I don't think you actually need to do that. I'll give that probably. It's okay.
SARAH: Fucking, Kayla fucking hates her cows. Okay, bye.
KAYLA: Oh.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]