Ep 132: An Interview with Daniel from Slice of Ace

Transcription Details 

Customer Name: Sounds Fake But Okay Podcast

Date: May, 17, 2020

Speakers in the Audio File

Speaker 1: Sarah

Speaker 2: Kayla

Speaker 3: Daniel

Episode 132: An Interview with Daniel from Slice of Ace

[00:00:00]

SARAH: Hey what's up hello, welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl I'm Sarah, that's me. 

KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla. 

DANIEL: And apparently a gay ace guy, Daniel. 

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand. 

KAYLA: On today's episode, Daniel. 

ALL: Sounds Fake But Okay. 

[Intro music]

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod. 

KAYLA: M’ums, those are a flower I have on my island in Animal Crossing. 

SARAH: I also have… mums are my native flower. 

KAYLA: I don't know what my native flower is. Tulips probably, I have a shit ton of those. 

DANIEL: Mine are cosmos and they're awful. I hate them. 

KAYLA: You know what I don't have? Is no roses and Leaf has not even come to my island to sell them. 

SARAH: Leaf has…  Leaf's been to my island? 

KAYLA: No, he's been to my island. He just never has fucking roses, that bastard. Just kidding. 

SARAH: Oh, I've already planted roses. Anyway, this is not an Animal Crossing podcast. 

KAYLA: Shouldn't it be though? 

DANIEL: I wouldn't mind. 

KAYLA: Let's just all start it together. An Animal Crossing podcast. 

SARAH: Okay, cool. Let's start the actual topic of this podcast though. You already did the muh-uh thing. So, what do I usually say next? How are you doing Kayla? How are you doing Daniel?

KAYLA: So, Kayla, what are we talking about? Well, yes, we should say Daniel's here. 

SARAH: Daniel from Slice of Ace is not in the flesh, but in the computer. 

KAYLA: He's in our computer. 

SARAH: Our collective sounds fake, but okay computer. 

KAYLA: We have one computer for the whole podcast. Budget is tight. Please donate to us. 

DANIEL: I'm not actually real. I just implanted myself on the internet. 

KAYLA: Oh shit. 

SARAH: That's the ace secret. None of us are real. 

KAYLA: No, don't say that. 

SARAH: We're all very real. Respect us. 

KAYLA: Anyway, Daniel is here and we've been meaning to have Daniel on for like, I think half a year. And then the reason Sarah and I don't run an interview podcast is because we're not organized at all, which is evidenced by this. But Daniel is here now and he's our new best friend. So…

SARAH: That's true. For those listeners who don't know who you are, shame on them. But also, it's okay. Daniel, who are you? Tell them. Tell the people. 

DANIEL: I am a human. Other than that, I think that probably the most relevant thing here is that I make videos on YouTube about asexuality and stuff from the perspective of being homoromantic asexual. 

SARAH: I love stuff. 

KAYLA: And he was on our live stream and Sarah bothered him the whole time. It was very wholesome. 

SARAH: It was wholesome bothering. 

KAYLA: So, if you want to see Daniel's face continually just get pulled up on a screen, watch that live stream back. 

SARAH: Watch the live stream. Great. All right. Well, Kayla, what are we talking about with Daniel this week? 

KAYLA: I mean, I feel like we're talking about a lot of things. We wrote down some very official and good questions to ask Daniel because we are, as you know, investigative reporters. And… 

SARAH: It's me, Ronan Farrow. 

KAYLA: It's me NPR, the whole network. And Daniel is the BBC. So… listen. 

SARAH: Oh, I'm a single person and both of you are entire organizations. 

KAYLA: You got to pick yours. 

SARAH: That’s fair 

KAYLA: So, I'm, what's his name? Ira Glass from NPR. 

DANIEL: Does that mean I single handedly like make Doctor Who? 

KAYLA: Yeah. Do you know Doctor Who? Which is crazy. He's the 13th doctor or whatever we're on now. 

SARAH: Daniel is every doctor, first of all. 

KAYLA: Isn't every doctor, every doctor though? 

SARAH: And also, every incarnation of the master. He's also the TARDIS. So 

KAYLA: Well, here we are. 

DANIEL: I was actually typecast as the TARDIS once in secondary school when we were deciding what Doctor Who characters we all were. 

KAYLA: That's so cute.

SARAH: I like how you described that as a typecast. 

DANIEL: I was either old people or inanimate objects. Pretty much. 

SARAH: Well, my typecast is depressed lesbian. 

KAYLA: That is what Sarah has been typecast as. And I'm typecast as, what would you call it? I was always like... 

SARAH: Doing her best. 

KAYLA: Goodie two-shoes girl does her best. 

SARAH: Anyway… 

KAYLA: Anyway, this is not a musical theater podcast either. 

SARAH: This is a podcast about asexuality. But yeah, of that list of things, we're going to talk to Daniel about them. Is this the first time we've had a male guest who was aspec? 

KAYLA: No. Oh, that's aspec? Yes. 

SARAH: Yes. Congratulations. You've done it, Daniel. 

KAYLA: Daniel, you've done it. But also, I'm very excited about this because there's a lot of... Well, we obviously talk from like the female perspective of asexuality all the time ever. So, I'm excited to hear your perspective because I feel like, I don't know, I see less male asexuals online even than I do women. So, I'm excited. 

DANIEL: Yeah, I have a theory about that. 

KAYLA: Oh

SARAH: Whoa! Kayla, do you want to ask your first question because it was you who wrote that question. So, I think it's important that you ask it. 

KAYLA: Yes, my first question was basically asking you to retell a story that you already did on your YouTube. So, I mean, just cross promotion. But I was watching your video about you coming out to your office with a cake and I just wanted to know more about that experience because it sounds very wild. It sounds like a very Sarah way to come out, kind of. 

DANIEL: Yeah, so I baked a cake for my 1000-sub video on YouTube. And what I did was it was like a three-layered cake in the colors of the ace flag. So purple, white, gray and then black icing on top. I didn't even have to look at the flag that time. Yeah, and then I had this massive three-tiered cake and I didn't want to... 

SARAH: Oh, it was a big cake. It was like thick… Okay. 

KAYLA: It was a thick boy. 

DANIEL: Yeah, and it was like covered in fondant icing and all that. So, it was a lot for me to just see on my own. So, I thought, I know what I'll do, it's a work. And what happens if you bring a cake into work which has a pride flag on it? You kind of accidentally come out to your entire office. 

SARAH: It's a big, gigantic mood. 

DANIEL: It's fun. And then because a lot of people are asking me about the colors and I was kind of getting fed up answering everyone individually, I just ended up sending an email around my office just like, btw, the cake is the asexual flag now you know, please stop bothering me about this 

KAYLA: Please stop talking to me. 

DANIEL: So that was fun. 

SARAH: Incredible. Artful. The greatest way to come out ever. 

DANIEL: It was a very stressful day. 

SARAH: I can imagine. 

KAYLA: That's just so wild. I just wanted to hear about it again. 

SARAH: But hey, you've done it and you've eaten that cake. Okay. 

KAYLA: Well, did everyone eat the cake? Is it gone? 

DANIEL: The cake is gone, yes. It was quite a while ago, yeah. 

SARAH: Yeah, I was going to say, I would hope… 

KAYLA: Just checking. Just checking. 

DANIEL: I did have two slices of frozen cake in my freezer for a bit because I didn't manage to eat it all and I was getting kind of sick of the cake. 

KAYLA: Saving it for later. 

DANIEL: Yeah. 

SARAH: Yeah. The acest way to come out. Wonderful. Okay. So, as we've established that you're ace… 

DANIEL: Yes 

SARAH: What's it like being a male human who is asexual? As Kayla mentioned before, there seem to be fewer men than women at large in the community. What's your theory? Give me the tea. 

DANIEL: So, obviously, as we all know, society expects men to be inherently more sexual and it kind of teaches them to be the ones initiating sex and to an extent romance as well. So, and it's… I guess, because of that, it's kind of seen as maybe a bit shameful if you are a man who isn't hypersexual. So, I think it's maybe a lot harder for men to come to terms with the possibility of being asexual because of that. Because they're kind of expected and pressured by society to be that way. 

SARAH: I think also even like if men are like, yeah, I'm ace, they may be less willing to be open about it just because society is like, sex, man. 

DANIEL: Yeah 

KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like if women come out as asexual, there's almost this thing of like, oh, well, you're a woman, you're not supposed to say you like sex anyway. Women are supposed to be very quiet and dear me, you're like, oh, ha ha, I don't like sex. Just kidding, I very much do. Please sexualize me. Ha ha. 

[00:10:00]

KAYLA: But with men, it's, you know what I mean. You know how it is, ladies. But with men, it's like you're supposed to… I feel like there's this bro culture of like, oh, we're just going to sit in our garage and talk about sex and drink a beer. 

SARAH: Specifically in the garage. 

KAYLA: You know, the man cave, you know. 

SARAH: That's where all the sex talks happen. 

KAYLA: I feel like, don't they? I don't know. I'm not a man. 

DANIEL: I don't think we have that many garages over here. 

KAYLA: Yeah, maybe that's an American man thing, but I'm contrary. 

SARAH: Like suburban or rural American thing. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I'm thinking of like a soccer dad or like a football dad, you know? 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: Yeah. 

SARAH: Yeah. No, I gotcha. 

KAYLA: No, you get it. Did you find that that made it hard for you to come out or come to terms with your sexuality? Just all of that, like, you need to be a man's man type of thing? 

DANIEL: Not me personally, because I feel like I was already weird enough and distanced enough from the norm for other reasons. I didn't really care about adding one more thing onto the pile, as it were. And throughout, even though I didn't know the word asexual, throughout like secondary school, high school equivalent, I was acting asexually. People would say, oh, you don't want sex. They knew that I didn't want sex and I didn't have a word for it, but I was like, yeah, sex is stupid. 

KAYLA: Did you feel pressure in high school or secondary school to be having sex and you were just like, nah? Or was it just like everyone was just kind of talking about it? 

DANIEL: I definitely felt ostracized somewhat just because it felt like somewhere at the start of secondary school, there was a switch that someone flicked and then suddenly everyone was sexual and talking about sex and romance. And I was like, where's my switch? I didn't get a switch. So yeah, it definitely made me feel a bit othered. And that was a point where I started socializing less and generally being alone. 

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: I remember a friend of ours in college telling me, who's also a man, but I remember him telling me that in his school, starting in freshman year of high school, all the guys would start talking about porn and whatever. And he was like, yeah, if you admitted that you didn't watch porn, then you got super made fun of by people in school, just in the locker room of gym. I was like, what do they care what you watch? 

DANIEL: It's very strange. I once had a guy walk up to me, stare at me dead in the face and said, do you masturbate? 

KAYLA: Oh, sir. 

DANIEL: I was like, okay, I don't know why you're asking this, but no. And he was like, I don't believe you. And they just walked off. 

SARAH: There was no other context? He just walked up to you? 

KAYLA: I actually remember this wasn't with someone that was asexual. At least I don't know that they are. I don't think they are. But it was in high school and I had some friends that were like very religious. And so, someone asked one of… a girl I knew asked the guy I knew like, oh, well, so you're so religious like in your religion, you're not supposed to masturbate. So, like you don't do you? And he was like, no, like I don't. And she was like, I don't believe you. All guys masturbate. And I was like, why are you… we’re in band class? Can you please…

SARAH: Also, like you can't prove that. Like, what do you want me to? 

KAYLA: What do you want? 

DANIEL: It's like… it's just… I don't know why someone would feel that was an okay thing to just ask out of the blue. 

KAYLA: I don't know… I don't want to know if anyone does personally. I'd rather not know at all, no matter what your whole deal is with your sexuality or anything. 

SARAH: As we discussed last week, no one has genitalia. 

KAYLA: Actually, no one has genitalia, just smooth Barbie bodies all the way down. 

DANIEL: I would be preferable, honestly. My boyfriend will love hearing that. 

KAYLA: He's like, wait, what? You don't like me? You want me to be a Barbie? Hello? 

SARAH: Speaking of your boyfriend, what a transition I just did. 

KAYLA: Oh, beautiful. I love it. I love it here. 

SARAH: So, you identify as a homoromantic asexual. As Kayla wrote on this doc, the gay community is even more sex positive and horny and such. 

KAYLA: It just seems like it is. I don't know. I'm not gay. 

SARAH: No, it is. 

KAYLA: It really looks that way. Have you seen a pride parade? 

SARAH: I have. I just think your phrasing of and horny and such was funny. But I guess how does that interact with your asexuality? 

DANIEL: Yeah, I definitely don't feel particularly comfortable going to gay spaces because they're, like you said, very sexualized. And it makes it difficult when you want to find someone to date or even just have gay friends. And one of you pretty much your only option is going to a gay bar. And I've been to a gay bar a couple of times. It's very loud. People get very handsy. Like some guy grabbed my ass when I was in there. I was like, I don't want this. This isn't good. 

KAYLA: Oh, no

SARAH: That's my ass. You can't have it. 

KAYLA: Sir, please! 

DANIEL: I kind of, when he grabbed it, I wasn't expecting it obviously and I just had a jerk reaction and kicked the person in front of me. 

KAYLA: Honestly, the correct response. 

DANIEL: But he obviously had nothing to do with it because the guy who grabbed my ass was behind me. 

KAYLA: Oh no. I love it. 

DANIEL: But yeah, and I'd like to go to those spaces and be more active in the gay community, but I feel like because it's so hypersexual, it's difficult. 

SARAH: I feel like a lot of the gay men I know, when they talk about the other gay men they know, it's like, oh, I met this person on Grindr. And it's like the network is kind of through a very sexual means. Even if you're not dating or having sex with this person, well, you did first meet them through Grindr. And if you're not on Grindr to begin with, because you're ace, then... 

KAYLA: And also, Grindr is just from what I have seen, just the most sexual place in the world. Like here's a dick, here's my abs, no faces to be seen. 

SARAH: You want to look up my asshole? 

KAYLA: I've told you this, Sarah, before. I think I was like, I had a friend, a gay friend, and he was swiping through pictures on his phone. And all of a sudden there was a nude picture of him, just like legs spread…

SARAH: You did tell me that. 

KAYLA: Up the asshole. We were both like, no! He was like, oh sorry, these are just for some random guy I just met. And I was like, but why? 

DANIEL: It's not even a very... 

KAYLA: It was not flattering. 

DANIEL: No, it's not flattering for anyone. Even if you're the most attractive person in the world, that... 

KAYLA: No one has a cute asshole, I don't think. Probably. I don't think anyone has a nice-looking asshole. 

DANIEL: Maybe it's appealing to gay allos, I'm not sure. 

SARAH: To the fucking allos, I don't know what they're doing. 

KAYLA: I don't know what they do. 

DANIEL: I'll ask my boyfriend sometimes, see what he says. 

SARAH: We need that information. I guess, what has your experience been like dating as a gay ace? Because the community is so sexualized. 

KAYLA: Gace 

SARAH: Gace, if you will. 

DANIEL: Yes. You can have homoromantic asexual or homorotic ace or gay asexual or gay ace or gace. Shorten it to varying degrees. 

KAYLA: Just really narrow it down. 

SARAH: So many options. 

DANIEL: No. Yeah, like I said, I've kind of had to stick to dating apps because other than that, my only option is going to someone which is explicitly sexual and someone's going to expect you to have sex with them. But I think that it's quite useful that okay Cupid and Tinder in particular let you put your asexual on your profile. So, I can have that up there right next to my face. So, they know that's the thing straight away. And I was being very picky on who I was swiping the... I can never remember which way it is, the positive direction.

KAYLA: I think it's right. 

SARAH: I wouldn't know. 

KAYLA: I've done a lot of swiping in my day. You know. 

DANIEL: Yeah, I wasn't swiping right on people who were overtly sexual or even topless just because I thought they're probably going to want sex, so there's no point. 

SARAH: If I can see your nips, you're out. 

KAYLA: How could I have nips? 

DANIEL: I just linger on that picture for a bit longer and then swipe left 

SARAH: It's the anti-free the nip movement. 

KAYLA: You know. 

DANIEL: Yeah, it's just unfortunate that you have to kind of out yourself straight away in that situation, but I think it definitely helps to filter out a lot of people who aren't interested in that, I guess, relationship. 

[00:20:00]

KAYLA: Yeah, did you ever have a weird time like having to out yourself right away? I remember I was dating someone and I used to put like demisexual in my dating profiles. And I met someone we dated for a while but I remember when I first met his friends, his friends were like, oh, so I hear you're demisexual, explain that to me. And it was weird because I was like, but I never came out to you. Like someone just came out for me and that felt very odd, which is also weird because obviously, all of us here are out publicly on the internet. So, it's like, but yeah, did you ever have anything weird like that? 

DANIEL: I don't think so because my previous partner was, he didn't, let's say he didn't approve of the fact that I was asexual. And so, he wouldn't talk about it to anyone else. So, I guess he was the only one who knew about that. And then my current boyfriend, I haven't actually met any of his friends because he was just over here studying last semester. That's when I met him. But I haven't. But I did go visit him in March, but that was when the whole lockdown stuff was going on. So, I didn't get to see anyone other than him, which was not a bad thing. 

KAYLA: Wow, such a fancy foreign man. 

DANIEL: He's from America. 

KAYLA: Wow. Well, our next question anyway was how is your relationship… what did you say during the livestream relationship? Human person, Sarah is that what you called his boyfriend? 

SARAH: Oh, I don’t know

KAYLA: I don’t remember either but apparently my mum and Dean my boyfriend were watching the livestream at that time when Daniel was on and they laughed really hard when you said whatever you said and they like keep bringing it up for some reason they think it’s funny

SARAH: Human relationship person, I don’t know.

DANIEL: That sounds right, yeah. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I know. We just had it down to ask you how he was doing. 

SARAH: That's… no… that’s not what the next question was. 

KAYLA: Well, that's the one I want to do. 

SARAH: Okay. 

KAYLA: Because it flows. 

DANIEL: It flows well when you don't have a big discussion over whether it's the right question or not. 

KAYLA: Well… 

SARAH: You make a good point. Well, Kayla wrote down, she wrote down, how is your human relationship partner doing today? And then I was like, dude, Kayla, it's rude to ask Daniel how his human relationship partner is doing and not ask Daniel how he's doing. 

KAYLA: Well, it could have been a follow up question, but. 

SARAH: Give us the tea. You doing good? 

KAYLA: How you doing, Daniel? 

DANIEL: Yeah, I'm doing good. 

SARAH: Made podcast. How are you? 

KAYLA: Just a check up. Check up on your friends, you guys. Just ask them how they're doing. 

DANIEL: I mean, I've been in lockdown for the last like, nearly two months. Mainly working from home because I can do that and my job, I can do it quite easily for the most part. Although I'm on furlough at the moment, which is nice because I don't have to work. 

KAYLA: That does sound really nice. 

DANIEL: And my job isn't at risk because of that. It's just because my company's being greedy and wants to take money from the government instead of paying us ourselves. 

KAYLA: Yay, capitalism! 

SARAH: Actually, Kayla, that was a horrible transition to the next question because… 

KAYLA: Oh, because now we have to go back. 

SARAH: Yeah, we have to go back. 

KAYLA: It's fine. This is a conversation. It's fluid, just like gender. We're having a good time. 

SARAH: Just like gender and sexuality. It's fluid. 

KAYLA: Yes 

SARAH:  Okay. Now that we've had that weird interlude, what do you find has been the hardest part about dating someone who's not ace? And then I wrote, oh no, I accidentally made a sex joke because I said hardest part. 

KAYLA: Yeah, see, if you hadn't said, oh no, it's a sex joke, I wouldn't have thought that, so 

SARAH: It’s because I’m ace 

DANIEL: Like… by the way, but I didn’t mean to say that… It took me ages to work out what the sex joke was. 

KAYLA: Just a couple of ace people not getting sex jokes. 

DANIEL: Yes, the most difficult part, let's say, is that it's more, personally for me, that I'm worried that I can't give enough in the relationship, which is mainly due to my own insecurities. I'm thinking, oh, if he met someone who was the same as me, but allo, then he'd want to date them instead. So, every now and then I'm just like, you're still okay that I’m ace, right? So, I have to check in, which is probably, it shouldn't be that way. And I know that I'm no less of a person because of that, but I just get insecure, I suppose. 

KAYLA: I feel like insecurity in relationships is just always a thing and it's kind of like pick which thing you're insecure about. I continually ask my boyfriend if he hates me or if he's mad at me when there's simply no reason for him to be mad at me, but I'm just like, you're looking at me differently today, so what did I do? 

SARAH: People even do that with platonic relationships. I'm like, oh, you broke our Snapchat streak. Is our friendship over? 

KAYLA: Yeah, I always think people are mad at me. It's just what I feel. 

SARAH: What I'm hearing though is that your worst case scenario would just be a clone of yourself but allo? 

DANIEL: Yes. 

SARAH: Okay, if there was one of those, I would volunteer to kill it for you if you needed it. 

KAYLA: That’s a deep one 

SARAH: Just saying. It's an option. 

KAYLA: I'm not sure how I feel about this murder. 

SARAH: Take it or leave it? 

KAYLA: Against murder, interesting. 

SARAH: All aces against murder? 

KAYLA: I'd have to see myself dead then. 

SARAH: You wouldn't have to see it. I would take care of it. I mean, you saw me in Animal Crossing with that axe, okay? 

KAYLA: She's very scary. 

SARAH: I have a sword on my wall, okay? 

DANIEL: That’s cool

SARAH: I got this. Um, wow. Where are we now? 

KAYLA: Had your boyfriend… did he know what ace… I feel like you might have said this during the livestream but did he know what asexuality was before he knew you? 

DANIEL: Um, I don't, I think, it's been a while. I think he looked it up, either before the first date or in between the first and second dates. I think that's what he told me. Um, like in the first few dates we never had like a proper conversation about it, because I was just a bit nervous about having that conversation. But I established that he did see on my profile that I was asexual and that. And then when I did start actually talking about it, I was quite fortunate in that I make videos about asexuality on YouTube. So, I was like, go watch my videos. 

KAYLA: Just here, just go subscribe and like and hit the notification bell. 

SARAH: Smash that like button. 

DANIEL: I don't think I've ever asked anyone to hit the notification bell. That seems like too much to ask. 

KAYLA: Well, now we're asking for you. Everyone who's listening, go do that. 

SARAH: Hit that notification bell. Slice of Ace. 

KAYLA: Go find it. 

SARAH: Go find it. Okay. 

KAYLA: So, something I've noticed. So, you're British. I've noticed that. 

DANIEL: That's good. 

SARAH: Clapped 

KAYLA: Thank you. I also, I was having a conversation with, is Barefoot Backpacker his full thing? I'll look it up. 

SARAH: Yeah. I don't know their pronouns, but I believe so. 

KAYLA: Well, they have a blog and a podcast. Check it out. And I can't remember if they're British. I think they might be. But anyway, when we were putting together the live stream, I noticed, and I think they noticed by looking at the lineup that like everyone is British. That's like, I think all asexuals are British is what I noticed. 

SARAH: Oh. 

KAYLA: It seems like the vast majority of like visible activists or YouTubers or whatever are British. And I know like Barefoot Backpacker on Twitter was talking about like their theories about like, is it the culture of like how people in the UK talk about sex or like American culture being like weirdly repressed about talking about sex. I wanted your opinion. 

SARAH: Weirdly repressed, but also very sexual. 

KAYLA: Exactly. That's what I said on Twitter. So, I wanted your take on it because I'm very curious about this. 

DANIEL: Yeah, I was trying, I was thinking about this. Because there are a lot, like it seems that the podcast side of the asexual community covered the YouTube and activists. 

KAYLA: Everyone else, like YouTube is for England, activism is for England. And then us and Courtney are over here like podcasts are American. 

SARAH: Podcasts can be American. 

DANIEL: I mean, you have David Jay at least. 

KAYLA: That's true. That's true, I do have David. 

DANIEL: Yeah, I think, I don't know if, it seems to me from my, I've visited America all at once. And most of that was inside a flat because I had a Montgale apartment. 

KAYLA: Fun. So fancy, it makes it sound so much nicer than I'm sure they are. 

DANIEL: It was a uni flat, so it's okay. 

KAYLA: Uni? 

DANIEL: University, college. 

SARAH: This got very British very fast and Kayla won't shut up about it.

[00:30:00]

KAYLA: I'm sorry, I'm excited, I'm sorry, I'll shut up. 

SARAH: People are British, Kayla, okay? 

KAYLA: Get over it, Kayla, people aren't from America sometimes. 

SARAH: It's not all about America, okay? 

KAYLA: Yeah, I really wish it wasn't. Okay, I'll let you talk now. 

DANIEL: America is a lot bigger than the UK though. I feel like the UK is smaller than some states. 

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: The UK is smaller than Michigan, which is our normal state. 

KAYLA: Is it really? 

SARAH: It's either. I'm trying to remember if that is including water or not. 

KAYLA: The UK could definitely fit in Texas like 12 times probably. 

SARAH: Yeah, 12 is a lot. 

KAYLA: 12 is a lot. Maybe six. Anyway. 

SARAH: Well, no, I mean, what I've discovered from driving across the United States multiple times is America is full of nothing. There's so much nothing here. Anyway, continue. 

DANIEL: So, British activists, YouTubers and asexual people, that was very phrased backwards. Apparently, all my senses are off from now on. 

SARAH: We're all thriving right now. 

DANIEL: I think from what I've noticed, like people who are homophobic or transphobic or acephobic or queerphobic in general seem to be more vocal in America. I don't know if that's true or just what I've noticed. I don't know if that means there's more of them per person or it's just because there seems to be specific areas where in the US which are more… 

SARAH: Super conservative religious. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I try not to talk about religion publicly for reasons. 

SARAH: I mean, not all religious people are shitty, but… 

DANIEL: No, no…

KAYLA: But sometimes they do be. 

SARAH: But sometimes they do be and that's dumb. 

DANIEL: Whereas I feel like the majority of the UK, like there are obviously people in the UK who are not accepting. But I don't think there's like a specific area or a specific group of people who are particularly more so. And I don't know if that has anything to do with it because people feel more comfortable being public about a lesser-known sexuality because of that. Perhaps. But that's pretty much the only thing I could think of. Maybe it's also because British people don't talk about sex stuff as much. So not wanting sex is more acceptable. I'm not sure. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I was going to ask, I feel like there's a lot of stereotypes of British people where everyone is very repressed and like we're not going to talk about our feelings and we're just going to make sarcastic jokes and being very witty. So, I was wondering like... 

SARAH: I do that too. That's the Irish Catholic in me.

KAYLA: So, I was wondering A. like how much that stereotype actually lives up and B. if you think that could have anything to do with it. 

DANIEL: I feel like there's a lot of passive aggressiveness because of bottled up emotions in the UK. 

KAYLA: Love that. 

DANIEL: We don't, yeah, I guess we're not as direct with our emotions or expressions of anger. 

SARAH: Americans will punch you in the face. 

KAYLA: Yeah, Americans like to do a lot of standing outside and screaming. 

DANIEL: I was going to say I've noticed that all the Americans that I've met have on average louder voices than people over here. 

KAYLA: Yeah, we're not helping with that. I'm sure we're very loud people. 

SARAH: I walk loudly. 

KAYLA: Oh my god. 

SARAH: But I've been told. 

KAYLA: Oh, you have? 

SARAH: And apparently that's an American thing. 

KAYLA: Oh my god, I used to live with Sarah for so many years and she would be upstairs walking and we would be downstairs. It would be like the earth was ending. It was insane. 

DANIEL: How do you walk loudly? 

KAYLA: I ask her that every day. 

SARAH: Here's my theory. I grew up in a house that there was no hardwood floor in it. It was all carpet or tile. And so, when you're walking on carpet you can't hear it. And so, I just didn't realize how loud I was walking. 

KAYLA: She goes heel first. 

SARAH: How are you… you are supposed to… 

KAYLA: Yeah, but you like really… 

SARAH: Not supposed to just walk on your… 

KAYLA: You get in there though. 

SARAH: See all these hand motions are things that our listeners can't see.  

KAYLA: She imagined me getting in there. 

SARAH: We are recording this. We could just post that. 

KAYLA: Maybe we should not

DANIEL: What was I going to say the… I can't say anything because I walk messed up. 

KAYLA: Say it 

DANIEL: Yeah, I walk from the outside of my feet inwards. 

KAYLA: I walk from the inside of my feet out. And I walk like an insane person. Sarah can see me from like feet and feet away. 

SARAH: I would like to see her from across campus and be like, oh that's Kayla.  

KAYLA: Because I'm just waddling away. I do the same thing. 

DANIEL: I can't remember what we were talking about with four feet. 

SARAH: Me neither. 

KAYLA: British people. I think it makes sense to me though because I feel like at least the current state of America is everyone is very divided and people feel very justified saying their opinions. And a certain group of people feels especially good about doing that now. 

SARAH: It's individualism. Your voice matters. 

KAYLA: Yeah, America's really like all about me, which doesn't help with some of that. 

DANIEL: Yeah, I think there's been a lot more division in the UK recently with Brexit and there was another thing as well that I can't remember. The most recent election, which is all fun things that definitely had fun outcomes. 

SARAH: All that and yet Boris Johnson is still dealing with coronavirus much better than Trump is. 

KAYLA: And that's saying something. 

KAYLA: Yeah, anyway, this is a politics podcast now. 

SARAH: Ooh 

KAYLA: Sarah is not supposed to talk about politics on the podcast. 

SARAH: Yeah, I've banned myself. 

KAYLA: I'm not supposed to allow her. So

SARAH: Kayla, did you see that video? Jeff Goldblum was tweeting… was trending on Twitter recently. I was like, why? 

KAYLA: I did not 

SARAH: And I clicked on it. And there was these two guys getting into a fist fight on the street. And one of them looked like Jeff Goldblum. 

KAYLA: That was the whole thing? 

SARAH: And Jeff Goldblum was kicking this guy's ass. 

KAYLA: But it wasn't Jeff Goldblum. 

SARAH: It was not Jeff Goldblum. 

KAYLA: What does this have to do with what we're talking about? 

SARAH: Violence. 

KAYLA: Okay, sure. 

SARAH: No. But the guy whose ass he was kicking apparently catcalled some girl and Jeff Goldblum did not like it. And Jeff Goldblum fucking, he did like a spinning kick. He really went all out. 

KAYLA: Wow. 

DANIEL: I can't imagine Jeff Goldblum fighting anyone. He seems like such a nice guy. 

SARAH: He just like has his assistant melt people like in that one scene in Thor Ragnarok. 

DANIEL: That's true. 

SARAH: Yeah. Kayla, don't give me that face. 

KAYLA: I shall. I have another very official question that definitely is asexuality related for sure. And that is why your Animal Crossing Island looks so good. Why is that? How did you do that? 

DANIEL: I don't know is the answer. 

KAYLA: Dang it, I… 

DANIEL: Things looking good is subjective, surely. 

KAYLA: What a good political answer. 

DANIEL: By the time I got to the point where I could terraform my island, I was... I liked the way that the terrain was anyway, so I tried to build it around that. And yeah, I guess I kept a lot of it more kitty. 

SARAH: An ace architect. 

KAYLA: Welcome to the podcast everyone. Here she comes. What do you want? How's your island doing, Sarah? You're so new to Animal Crossing. Let's have an Animal Crossing update. Should this be a new segment we do every week? 

SARAH: Sure. I planted some flowers that I had had for quite some time. I was just stressed about them. 

KAYLA: You know you can replant them? 

SARAH: Yes. That made me feel much better. I was very stressed about planting my trees. 

KAYLA: Oh my God. Once you get terraforming, you're going to be so stressed. 

SARAH: Oh, it's going to be the worst. I know this game is supposed to be relaxing. But when I was like, I have to plant my trees, I was like, I don't know where to put them. And my sister's girlfriend was like, you can dig them back up. 

KAYLA: You can re-plant them too 

SARAH: I know. Once she told me that, I felt much better. 

KAYLA: Oh, Lord. 

SARAH: I get unnecessarily stressed out about everything. 

KAYLA: Oh, I have had days where I'm like sweaty over Animal Crossing because I'm stressed about it. So, I get it. Like, sometimes I'm just sweaty about it. 

DANIEL: I think the only thing that's permanent is choosing the name of the town in the first place. 

KAYLA: I don't think you can move the town hall either, which is annoying to me because I don't like where mine is. 

SARAH: Can you move your house? 

KAYLA: You can move your house. 

DANIEL: Yeah, yeah. 

SARAH: Can you move the museum? 

KAYLA: Yes. 

DANIEL: Yes 

KAYLA: But it does cost money. I recently moved every single building on my island except for my house and it cost a lot of bells. 

DANIEL: Is that how you got them all lined up? 

KAYLA: Yeah, I got them all in a row because they were originally everywhere and then I wanted them in a row. It was a lot and I needed to get it all done before my birthday party because there was going to be people there. 

[00:40:00]

SARAH: Incredible. 

KAYLA: Anyway 

DANIEL: I wanted my museum to be in the same place but on a hill so I had to move the museum away and then build the hill and then put the museum back. So, I had to move it twice. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I recently had a house that I wanted just like three squares up so I had to move it and then move it back with three squares up. This is an Animal Crossing podcast now, thank you. 

SARAH: When Kayla initially wrote that question, she just wrote, how did you get your Animal Crossing Island? No, she just said, how did you get your Animal Crossing? 

KAYLA: I forgot to type the rest. 

SARAH: And so, I responded, I was like, I don't know, you probably got it on the Nintendo shop, I don't know why you're asking this question. 

KAYLA: Just curious how he got it. 

DANIEL: How do we buy games in the UK? 

KAYLA: Yeah, what's the UK like in games? Do you have a game store? What's that like? So culturally different, I'm sure. 

DANIEL: Probably pretty much the same. There's a shop called Game, and you can buy games from it. 

KAYLA: It's just called Game? 

DANIEL: Yes, in capital letters. 

KAYLA: Whoa, just Game. 

SARAH: That sounds so aggressive and American. 

KAYLA: Game. 

SARAH: Like, Game. 

KAYLA: I mean, I guess we have GameStop. 

SARAH: We have GameStop. 

KAYLA: Game. 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: Wow, riveting stuff. 

SARAH: Yeah. I'm trying to remember what the name of the... there's like a video store or what used to be a video store by my house. 

KAYLA: Blockbuster? 

SARAH: It's not Blockbuster. Hold on, I'm looking on Google Maps. 

KAYLA: Was Blockbuster in the UK? 

DANIEL: I heard about it a lot. I think so, but I'm not sure. 

KAYLA: I mean, I guess it's nowhere now, but... 

DANIEL: Yeah.

KAYLA: RIP. 

SARAH: I believe it's called... I'm looking for the name of this thing. It's called Game Dude. 

KAYLA: I hate that. 

SARAH: All caps, like giant yellow sign. 

KAYLA: That's a no from me. 

SARAH: Anyway, next question that I wrote. How are you so cool and why haven't we been best friends forever? Just wondering. You were under no obligation to answer that question. 

DANIEL: I wasn't aware that I was cool, to be honest. 

SARAH: You're our new best friend. 

KAYLA: Very cool. You're our new best friend. You have no option. Sorry. 

DANIEL: I was never considered cool at school, so... 

KAYLA: I was telling Sarah after the live stream, you remind me a lot of our friends from school. Like our, I feel like specifically our friends that we did theater with maybe because they're also like all queer and ace also… 

SARAH: Even telling me this? 

KAYLA: I feel like I told you that. Maybe I just told myself that. 

SARAH: You simply didn’t 

KAYLA: Well, I meant to. Anyway, you remind me a lot of like a lot of friends that Sarah and I had in college. So, when you were on the live stream, I was like, Daniel, my best friend forever. 

SARAH: Look, this is the aspec community. We're the cool kids now. 

KAYLA: Oh, I can't… 

SARAH: Accept it. 

KAYLA: No, no, no, no, no. She wanted to be on the podcast. 

SARAH: Oh my God, I was on a walk today and I saw six cats. 

KAYLA: Six cats? Where were you? 

SARAH: Six cats. Just like in the neighborhood around where I live. 

KAYLA: That's very odd. 

DANIEL: I was passing alley way and there's little cats singing. 

KAYLA: I love cats. Not the movie. It was shitty. Anyway. 

SARAH: The movie was great. I don't know what you're talking about. 

KAYLA: I mean, it was great in that it was shitty. 

SARAH: Yeah. Our final scripted question is, what is your favorite kind of cake? 

DANIEL: Yep. So, my favorite type of cake is carrot cake, which in theory... 

SARAH: Oh. I mean, if you think about putting something in cake, carrots does not seem like a good thing to put in a cake. It's really nice. 

KAYLA: I don't think I've ever eaten carrot cake, actually. 

SARAH: I never have and I don't ever plan to. 

DANIEL: It's very moist. 

KAYLA: Daniel's like, shut the fuck up. 

SARAH: Daniel, you have to know I'm the pickiest eater on planet Earth. Don't take it as a personal front. 

DANIEL: You put oil in it, which is interesting for a cake. 

KAYLA: Sticky 

DANIEL: And that's, yeah, ends up being quite moist. And then normally you have like cream cheese icing or something weird on it. It's a very strange cake. But I really like it. 

SARAH: What a strange time. Kayla, what's your favorite kind of cake? 

KAYLA: I was just going to ask you that. My favorite cake… can I have a confessional here on this podcast? 

SARAH: Okay 

KAYLA: My confession is that like, I don't like cake that much. 

DANIEL: I'll say this while I'm on. 

SARAH: You're canceled from the podcast. 

KAYLA: Here's the thing, it's not the cake I don't like. It's that often cake has like a lot of icing and I don't like icing that much when it's too much. 

SARAH: Icing or frosting? 

KAYLA: Is there a difference? 

DANIEL: Wait, there's a difference? Because frosting doesn't exist in the UK.

KAYLA: What do you mean? What do you think is the difference? 

SARAH: The way I view the difference is icing is like thinner. And frosting is like the stuff that I just eat by the spoonful sometimes. 

KAYLA: Yeah, the stuff that you can get in the Pillsbury thing, I can do that. I think it's like the cake that you buy from a grocery store that's pre-made and it has like, no one else can see this, but it has an inch of frosting on the top. And then there's the frosting that they do in swirls on the edge. Do you know what I'm talking about? 

SARAH: Yeah, I mean I would say that's… 

KAYLA: But I don’t like whipped cream either. 

SARAH: I don't like whipped cream either, but yeah, a lot of times if you're going to get a grocery store cake, the frosting kind of sucks. That's why you got to not do that. 

KAYLA: It's too much. Yeah, I can only do certain frosting, as if it's a thicker frosting. Anyway, so this is all to say that my favorite cake isn't a real cake, but it's this cake that I used to have my mom make for me all the time, where it's called a cookie brownie cake. And you make a big cookie that's like a big circle, like you could get also in the grocery store. And then you put chocolate frosting on it and then you put a big circle brownie on top and you put more frosting. And so, it's very thin and it's really just a cookie and a brownie, but it's a cake and I love it. 

SARAH: That's an American abomination. 

KAYLA: It's really good and you should try it. It's so good. 

SARAH: Why would I eat that? 

KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, you personally, I don't think you would eat that, but someone should eat it and that someone should be me. 

DANIEL: There's some, there's a shop called Millie's Cookies here in the UK. I don't know if it's just where I used to grow up, maybe, I don't know. But you can get these cookie cakes, which are just like massive cookies. 

KAYLA: Yes, that's what I'm talking about. 

DANIEL: And then you put, it puts like icing around it. They used to have loads of Smarties on them as well. 

KAYLA: Smarties are different… 

SARAH: M&Ms? 

DANIEL: Oh, Smarties, I think they are slightly different in the US. 

KAYLA: Yeah, because I know Smarties in Canada are different. 

SARAH: They look like M&Ms, right? 

DANIEL: Yeah, I think that our Smarties are the same as Canada's Smarties. 

KAYLA: Yeah. 

SARAH: Okay. 

DANIEL: I've had many discussions about the different sweets with my boyfriend. 

SARAH: Americans, they look like M&Ms or Skittles. 

KAYLA: What do they taste like? 

SARAH: They don't look like… 

KAYLA: Damn. What do they taste like? 

DANIEL: They're like... 

KAYLA: Are they chocolate or like sweet? Or like sugar? 

DANIEL: The chocolate has like a sweet coating on the outside. 

KAYLA: Oh, it's like an M&M. 

DANIEL: Yeah, but... 

KAYLA: Wild. 

DANIEL: Yeah. They taste different to M&Ms. Like different chocolate, maybe? Yeah, at some point they took the Smarties off because there was too much sugar in them. And it's like, it's a cookie cake. 

KAYLA: It’s a cake. It's so stupid. 

DANIEL: But yes. 

KAYLA: Sarah, what's your favorite cake? 

SARAH: Yellow cake. 

KAYLA: That's not a flavor. 

SARAH: Yes, it is. 

KAYLA: Daniel's like, bitch, what? 

SARAH: There's white cake and there's yellow cake. 

KAYLA: So not vanilla? So just like a regular sponge cake? 

SARAH: Yes. With some nice, just good old vanilla buttercream frosting that shit slaps. 

KAYLA: But what, so why can't you just call it a vanilla cake? Like you have a vanilla cake or a chocolate cake? 

SARAH: There's a difference between white and yellow. And I prefer yellow. 

KAYLA: Okay. 

DANIEL: White is made without egg yolks. 

KAYLA: God, what a chef we have here. 

DANIEL: Well, I made a white cake for my, the thousand-sub video because I wanted a whiter like, for the white bit of the side. Um, because it's hard to dye something white without making inedible wiping bleach in it. 

SARAH: I mean, Trump says we should drink bleach. 

DANIEL: Yes, but he's not really a very intelligent person. Is he? 

KAYLA: He's what? I have no idea. What? 

DANIEL: Um, what was I saying? I don't think I was saying, I was just commenting on cake. 

SARAH: Cake comments. 

KAYLA: Cake podcast now. 

SARAH: I mean, Daniel…

KAYLA: Daniel is a cake podcast. 

SARAH: Cake tube… 

KAYLA: CakeTuber. 

SARAH: CakeTuber. 

KAYLA: That's what Daniel is. 

DANIEL: Yes, I actually have a cooking channel. It was all of Ruby's. 

KAYLA: Oh, fun. 

SARAH: Incredible. I was going to say this podcast has gone off the rails, but I don't think it was ever on the rails. 

KAYLA: No. 

SARAH: No rails to be had. 

KAYLA: No, not here. Certainly not. 

SARAH: Kayla, do you have any other questions, things you would like to inquire while we have Daniel in this internet space? 

[00:50:00]

KAYLA: It's a lot of pressure. Let me think. Do you have anything? 

SARAH: No, but I will say everyone should go listen to the episode of AOK that Daniel was on. 

KAYLA: Because it's better than this. 

SARAH: It is probably more informative, but I think we had more fun. 

KAYLA: Wow, I'm going to tell Courtney you said that. 

SARAH: Great respect to Courtney. Courtney, I love you. 

KAYLA: But she's not fun. 

SARAH: Her podcast is more just like interviews, whereas our podcast is just like say whatever the fuck you want. 

KAYLA: Bullshit. Ours is bullshit and Courtney's a professional. We get it. 

DANIEL: We talked about Lord of the Rings and Godzilla before, like on the Patreon only questions we did at the start of the recording. So, we were talking about fun things as well. 

KAYLA: You got to pay to get that fun shit. 

DANIEL: Yeah. 

SARAH: Yeah. You got to pay to get that sweet sweet Godzilla talk. Is that what you said you were talking about? 

KAYLA: Godzilla and Lord of the Rings. 

SARAH: Okay. 

KAYLA: My question for Daniel, the very last one I have is, what is next for your YouTube channel? What are you doing? What are you working on? What should people subscribe to see? 

DANIEL: That's a very good question. And I would have an answer for it if I planned my videos more than a week in advance. 

KAYLA: Wow, that's us. That's us. 

DANIEL: I did recently write a list of ideas, but... 

KAYLA: That doesn't help, I can tell you personally. You'll never look at that list ever again. 

SARAH: Or you'll look at it and then say, these all suck. 

DANIEL: I went off the list after like one week, just because something will come up and I'm like, oh, I can make a video about that. Yes, I was originally planning when I started to always be a week ahead, but then I got really stressed about... like I'm a perfectionist, so I was always editing the video until it came out. So, unless I finish them on the deadline, then it stresses me out. 

SARAH: So, what I'm hearing is, subscribe to Slice of Ace for surprise Ace content. 

KAYLA: It is perfectly edited and very good. 

SARAH: It will be stunning. It will not be planned, but it will be edited to a Tea 

KAYLA: Yes. 

DANIEL: I write myself notes before I record. 

KAYLA: That's good. That's way more than we do. 

SARAH: That's what I do. You just don't do that. 

KAYLA: Sometimes I write notes. 

SARAH: Mm-hmm. 

KAYLA: Mm

SARAH: Great. What's our poll for this week? 

KAYLA: Our poll for this week is... 

SARAH: Is Daniel cool? Yes or yes? 

KAYLA: Okay. 

SARAH: We're not even going to do a secondary poll? That's the only poll we're going to do. 

KAYLA: No, we should probably do a secondary one for sure. 

SARAH: Well, I came up with the first one, so you got to come up with the second one, Kayla. Unless you have any fun ideas, Daniel. It's always easier the first time than the 130th time, whatever fucking episode we're on. 

KAYLA: 132? I don't know. 

DANIEL: I can't think of anything. 

KAYLA: Our other poll is... I want to do something about dating as an ace person. I can't think of a good poll. I guess it could be open-ended. 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: We'll just do that. 

SARAH: So, what's the question going to be? 

KAYLA: The question is… 

DANIEL: So, I’ve heard something about dating as an ace person. 

KAYLA: Yes. The question is, if you are a non… If you're an ace person who dates, what has your experience been? That's it. 

SARAH: Cool. Alright. Hey, Daniel. Do you have beef and juice this week? 

DANIEL: I do. So, I'm going to go negative to positive because that always makes people happier, I think. My beef is that I haven't had a proper conversation face to face with someone for about two months because I live alone. 

KAYLA: Oh, God. 

DANIEL: And my, um, yep. And like I said, my boyfriend lives in America, so I don't know when the next time I see him. 

KAYLA: What a bum. 

SARAH: Literally, how dare he? 

DANIEL: I'm just going to make him move here once he can. 

KAYLA: Me personally, I would much rather live anywhere but America. That's not true, but I would much rather live in Europe than America. So, I feel like just make the point of like you won't have that shitty president anymore if you move. So 

SARAH: You'll just have Boris. 

KAYLA: Just Boris. 

SARAH: Our buddy Boris. 

KAYLA: What a terrible name. 

SARAH: Who has like seven kids with like four different mothers. 

KAYLA: Ew, Boris. 

SARAH: Not as Trump though, so. 

KAYLA: Put it away, Boris. 

SARAH: The recent child is like a month old. They named it after the... 

DANIEL: But not even now 

SARAH: Yeah, like they named the kid after the doctor that treated Boris. My name is Brexit Johnson. 

KAYLA: This is my son Brexit. 

SARAH: No, they named the kid after the doctor that treated Boris Johnson in the hospital when he had coronavirus. 

KAYLA: That's weird. 

SARAH: I don't think it's just Brexit. Hey, it's me, Brexit Johnson. 

KAYLA: Anyway 

SARAH: What were we talking about? 

KAYLA: Daniel was doing the juice and we interrupted him. 

DANIEL: And my juice is that I made two and a half million bells profit on my turnips this week. 

KAYLA: I'm so jealous. 

DANIEL: Because my boyfriend had a good turnip price and he let me come over and sell my turnips. 

KAYLA: Sarah, I can't wait until you have turnip prices so that I can add you to my network of people who I ask what their turnip prices are. 

SARAH: That's fair. Here's my thing. Turnips are like the stock market, right? 

KAYLA: Yes.

SARAH: We're talking about animal crossing. 

KAYLA: The stalk market. Like their stocks, like the vegetable kind. Get it? 

SARAH: No, I got it the first time. 

KAYLA: The stalk market? 

SARAH: It's like, okay. 

KAYLA: It's going to stress you out. 

SARAH: Yeah. 

KAYLA: You're not going to like it. 

SARAH: It also seems too much like gambling. 

KAYLA: Yeah, you're not going to like it. 

SARAH: I should not get into turnip trade. 

KAYLA: You can just do like a little. A lot of people buy like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. I think I bought like 1900 turnips this week, which was a mistake because I have terrible prices this week. Anyway

SARAH: My sister has a rotten turnip in her house because her girlfriend left it there. 

KAYLA: I had a rotten turnip for a while because that's how you're supposed to get ants. And I haven't gotten an ant yet, but no ants came. 

SARAH: This is how you get ants. 

KAYLA: Wait, how? Wait, how can you get ants? 

DANIEL: You can get ants and flies by leaving the turnip outside. 

KAYLA: Yeah, they didn't come. 

SARAH: I think Emily's gotten ants from her from her rotten turnip in her house. 

DANIEL: Yeah, for me, they were, I put it outside and the ants came. I don't know if... 

KAYLA: Maybe it rained too much or something. 

DANIEL: Maybe. 

SARAH: This is an Animal Crossing podcast. What's your juice, Daniel? 

DANIEL: That was my juice, the two-fifth-way…

SARAH: Oh, right. You already said that. 

KAYLA: He's rich. 

SARAH: He's rich. So many fucking bells. I just paid off my house. 

KAYLA: Which time, though?

SARAH: First time. 

KAYLA: Yeah.

SARAH: I only have one room. I don't have a need for another room yet. 

KAYLA: Just wait. 

SARAH: I know. 

KAYLA: Just wait. 

SARAH: Kayla, what's your beef and your juice this week? 

KAYLA: My beef is that the past two days I've just had a low headache, just chilling in the back. And last night it was definitely migraine because I was getting very hot and then I thought I was going to vomit. I don't know. So, that's annoying and my brain keeps convincing me that it's coronavirus, even though that doesn't make sense. But you know how it is. My juice, this was I guess from before last episode, but it's fine. Time isn't real. It was my Animal Crossing birthday party. It was very fun. Daniel came. Sarah was there dressed as a knight. 

SARAH: And what did I give you? 

KAYLA: Sarah gave me a tin can for my birthday. 

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: A lot of people gave me very nice gifts and Sarah gave me a tin can. 

SARAH: And Kayla gave me the armor.

KAYLA: I didn’t mean to… 

SARAH: I gave you a tin can and on your birthday you gave me armor. 

KAYLA: Well, because I'd been wanting to give it to you. I just forgot. Anyway, it was very fun

SARAH: And then someone else at the party gave me a helmet and someone else gave me an axe. I don't remember who it was. Who are you? Show yourself

KAYLA: I think it was Lily. 

SARAH: Was it Lily? No. I don’t know 

KAYLA: Anyway, we had a lot of podcast listeners that came and hung out. And my island was maxed out with visitors because I guess I'm very popular and cool now. It was very fun. 

SARAH: As established, we're the cool kids in the community. 

KAYLA: We're very cool now. 

SARAH: Okay, my... I thought of another beef while you were talking and then I forgot it. 

KAYLA: That's okay. 

SARAH: Okay. My beef is the systemic, profound, deep-seated racism in the United States. My juice... 

KAYLA: A big one, a big one this week 

[01:00:00]

SARAH: I didn't want to get into specifics, okay? 

KAYLA: We all know. 

SARAH: We all know. My juice is that Ben Platt and Noah Galvin are dating. I'm going to cry. This is also the second case of Evan incest where two people who have played Evan Hansen in the show Dear Evan Hansen have dated each other. The other being Taylor Trench and Ben Levy Ross. All very cute. 80% of the people who have played Evan who is not a gay character have been gay. 

KAYLA: Well, that's Broadway, baby. 

SARAH: It’s Broadway baby

KAYLA: Also, Ben Platt's Netflix special concert thing comes out I think next week.

SARAH: And he released a song that was produced by Phineas. Anyway, I have more juice. Other juice. Broadway's Nick Cordera woke up from his coma. He was in a coma for like weeks because of COVID-19 and he woke up and that's very good. My other juice is that I saw six cats in my walk this morning as I mentioned. 

KAYLA: Those are all very good. 

SARAH: Thank you. And all equivalent. 

DANIEL: I sometimes have a fox that runs outside my window. 

KAYLA: Well, how fun. The neighborhood dog or the neighbor's dog came to our yard yesterday. So, I just went out during work and sat in the grass and pet a dog, so 

SARAH: I would love to pet a dog. 

KAYLA: It was huge. The dog is literally like horse-sized. It was massive. 

SARAH: What flavor of dog is it? 

KAYLA: I don't know. I'd have to ask my dad because my dad is better friends with the dog than me. But it's a big dog, but it's a girl dog. And I guess she's little for the type of dog she is, but she was like massive. 

SARAH: Okay. Well, you can tell us about your beef, your juice, your massive dogs on our social media @SoundsFakePod. Daniel, where can the folks find you? 

DANIEL: On YouTube, principally. Just search Slice of Ace. That's the easiest way to find me. I'm also on Twitter, Slice of Ace. It's easy enough to find. 

SARAH: This man's a slice of ace, okay? You'll find him. 

DANIEL: I'm a slice of the ace community. 

KAYLA: Aww. 

SARAH: It's true. Also, for some reason, just now, that made me think of the phrase, like, that's a piece of ass. And I'm like, Slice of Ace is like the ace equivalent of... 

KAYLA: As if someone would say that's a slice of ass. Can you imagine? 

SARAH: No, I'm just saying, like, the slice of ace is like the non-sexual. 

KAYLA: No. I do know what you mean, and I do get it, but also no. 

SARAH: Thank you. Wow. We also have a Patreon, of which Daniel is a patron and we didn't know until two weeks ago…

KAYLA: Because Sarah and I suck. 

SARAH: Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinnakota, Austin Lay, Drew Finney, Perry Fierro, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, BookMarvel, Changeling MX, Derrick and Carissa, Simona Simon, Jamie jack, Jessica Shea, Rio Faustino, Daniel Walker. Hi, Daniel. 

DANIEL: Hi 

KAYLA: Hi Daniel 

SARAH: Oh no, I just closed all patrons. 

KAYLA: You have to do it from memory. 

SARAH: No, I didn't actually close it. I just went to a different screen. Barefoot backpacker, Livy and Madeline Askew. Askew? Askew, you're new. We should ask you how to say your last name. 

KAYLA: Askew you’re new. I feel like they're probably super sick of that. I feel like that you definitely aren't the first one to say that and they hate you. 

SARAH: Sorry, Madeline. But thank you for becoming a patron. I hope you don't revoke it after that. 

KAYLA: I hope you do. I hope you do take it back. We don't deserve it. 

SARAH: Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyuncleKevin @Tessa_m_k, Arcness who'd like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who'd like to promote Tabletop games, anonymous who’d like to promote Halloween, Sarah McCoy who'd like to promote podcasts from  a planet weird, my aunt Jennie who'd like to promote Christopher’s Haven, Cassandra who'd like to promote their modeling Instagram @liddowred, Doug rice who would like to promote Native by Caitlin Curtis and Maggie Capellbo who'd like to promote her dog's Instagram @minniemuffin19, Nathaniel White… wait no, sorry 15... $15 patrons. I was trying to go too fast. There are so many. Nathaniel White, Nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who'd like to promote free mom hugs, still from a distance guys, we're still social distancing, Sarah Jones who's @eternalloli everywhere, Dia Chappelle who would like to promote the podcast the beacon and dragonfly who would like to promote Daniel being cool. 

KAYLA: Yes. 

SARAH: Great. Do you have any parting words for us? It's okay if the answer is no. 

DANIEL: Thank you for having me on… 

SARAH: Wow, so kind. 

DANIEL: Time to be good 

KAYLA: Thank you for putting up with us Daniel. 

SARAH: Thank you for putting up with this absolute shit show. And thank you to those listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears. 

KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows and your Daniels. Take good care of your Daniels. 

SARAH: What if he’s a cow named Daniel? 

KAYLA: This is a message to Daniel's boyfriend specifically. Please take care of Daniel. Dear God. 

DANIEL: It's funny because he's actually going to listen to this. 

SARAH: Great 

KAYLA: Oh, hi Daniel's partner human. Anyway. 

SARAH: Okay, I'm going to stop the recording now. 

KAYLA: I wish you would.

[END OF TRANSCRIPT] 

Sounds Fake But Okay