Ep 282: Am I The Asshole pt. 6 (Wedding Edition)
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro ace girl, I’m Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, Am I the Asshole? Wedding Edition.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah.
SARAH: Wow. Excitement.
KAYLA: Yeah, those are all our fans.
SARAH: We got some housekeeping, baby.
KAYLA: Y'all, it's time to keep this house.
SARAH: You know how we kept saying soon? Well, no, we wouldn't have kept saying soon if Kayla hadn't been like, should we tell them? On a hot mic every time.
KAYLA: What's interesting about that is you control the editing.
SARAH: I do. But sometimes it's an unnatural edit. Occasionally I will have to leave something in because there's no good way to get in or out of it.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: Anyway, so you know how we wrote a book?
KAYLA: Yeah, I do.
SARAH: Yeah. And you know how a lot of you have been asking for an audiobook and we kept being like we want one but like it's out of our hands.
KAYLA: Yes, I do know that.
SARAH: Yeah, so it got put in our hands.
KAYLA: Can you believe?
SARAH: And if you would like to listen to our book in audiobook form, you can do so this Thanksgiving.
KAYLA: Coming to you live this Thanksgiving. When you cut open the turkey, emerge will be an audio file.
SARAH: For those of you who don't know, Thanksgiving is Thursday, November 23rd.
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: This year
KAYLA: It'll be on, and you can pre-order it now also. You don't even have to wait. Audible, Spotify, Barnes and Noble, anywhere else. I already put, if you are a discerning person, I actually already. The links have been on our website for like at least a week, because I was already there updating and I was like, I can't go back later. So, the links are already there. Soundsfakepod.com/book, I think.
SARAH: Yeah. And we read the audiobook.
KAYLA: Yeah. All those pictures on Instagram of us in a tiny recording booth. You all guessed. You all knew. It was us recording the book.
SARAH: Also, we're not like just reading the book straight through.
KAYLA: True
SARAH: So, for those of you who are like, I’ve already read the book, you may still be interested in the audiobook because there's a little bit of commentary. We add a little bit of spice, not too much spice, not pod levels of spice.
KAYLA: No, not distracting, but we have fun.
SARAH: Yeah, we have a good little time. And my mouth is clicky.
KAYLA: Yeah, Sarah has a wet mouth.
SARAH: I got it.
KAYLA: I don't think you'll hear it though because they fixed it. I had to hear a lot of it.
SARAH: I’ve become hyper aware of it. So now I always hear it. Like I’m hearing it right now.
KAYLA: Yeah, imagine how I feel. I don't hear it now, but I did.
SARAH: I have to listen to my own voice every time I speak.
KAYLA: It sounds terrible.
SARAH: Anyway, audiobook. It's here. It's ready. It has our voices. We worked with a lovely guy named Paul.
KAYLA: So good. Love Paul.
SARAH: Love Paul. He cut some green apples for me.
KAYLA: Like you were in daycare
SARAH: You are a real one, Paul. And now we have an audiobook that you can buy with your money dollars.
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: Or your money euros or your money peso. It depends on where you live.
KAYLA: Or hopefully get from the library. I know our physical book is in a lot of libraries or like on Libby and stuff. I’m hoping that the audiobook would be there too. And if it's not, you can also request it.
SARAH: You can request it
KAYLA: The physical and digital and audio.
SARAH: My sister was recently at her local library and she saw my book and I was like, oh my god.
KAYLA: Slay
SARAH: And you know, my sister was also telling me about the Dewey Decimal System. For queer books, all queer books have the same like prefix, which is not good. Because most other topics of books, there are a lot of different specific prefixes like to make it more specific about what subcategory this book is in. But for queer books, there isn't. It's just everyone's dumped into one spot.
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: And also, because my name is listed first, in the book’s like IS, not the ISPN but like the whatever number
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It's C-O-S, it's not K-A-S.
KAYLA: I mean, yeah, your name went first.
SARAH: So not to brag, but I can't really run the alphabet.
KAYLA: Yeah, but your last name sucks.
SARAH: What? Are you attacking my last name?
KAYLA: I’m just saying it's very common. So, like if we were going for like…
SARAH: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Of all of my names, you're attacking the best one?
KAYLA: Well, it's the one that's most affecting me right now.
SARAH: Would you rather I be named Zostelo?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And we would have to be under K? We'd have to be under K in our book?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Oh my god, I can't believe you're coming after the best of my three names.
KAYLA: Funny.
SARAH: And the least common of my three names.
KAYLA: Pretty common, though.
SARAH: It's more common than you would think, but it's not like Smith.
KAYLA: Funny.
SARAH: I cannot believe I’m becoming incredibly defensive of my last name on this podcast.
KAYLA: I’m having… I’m having fun.
SARAH: I don't like you. Okay, also, next week's pod ep.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Me and Kayla are both going to be traveling for the Thanksgiving. So, we won't have a normal episode next week. But since our little audiobook is out, we're going to give you a little special bonus episode. That's a chapter of the audiobook. And it will not be the prologue that we already read on this podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know what it's…
SARAH: I’m not sure what chapter it's going to be.
KAYLA: I have no idea what it's going to be.
SARAH: We're going to give you something.
KAYLA: We'll give you something. We'll give you whatever Dominic, the man who has worked… who has helped us with the audiobook, gives me.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: That's what we'll be giving you.
SARAH: Exactly. Just not the prologue because I was like, Kayla, they've already heard us read the prologue.
KAYLA: I know, we already did that.
SARAH: So
KAYLA: We'll have to do a different one.
SARAH: We'll do a different one. So, you'll be hearing our voices next week, but it won't be a normal episode. So, I hope you enjoy it.
KAYLA: Yes. Yes
SARAH: Slay. All right. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week it's another Am I the Asshole? But Sarah collected so many from the internet that we had to theme them. But so many were about weddings.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: So, it's Am I the Wedding?
SARAH: It's Am I the Wedding?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So yeah, all of these are wedding themed Am I the Assholes? And then one that if we have time, I would like to get to at the end. It's not specifically wedding related. It is marriage related, but I just love it so much. So, if we have time, we'll get to that. If not, we'll do it in the next one.
KAYLA: Okay. Do we want to do mine at all since it's not technically an asshole?
SARAH: It's up to you.
KAYLA: I think it would be sassy.
SARAH: Okay, then let's do it first.
KAYLA: Okay. So, the one I have, it's not technically an Am I the Asshole, but it is from Reddit. And it is about weddings.
SARAH: Slay
KAYLA: So, we can do it. Okay. So, the question was asked in the Subreddit Fly Over The Mooon with three O’s. I don't know what kind of Subreddit this is or if it is a good one. I’m not endorsing it.
SARAH: You're not endorsing it and you're not condemning it.
KAYLA: Yeah, I just found screenshots of this on TikTok. So here we are. So, the question was, what was something you noticed between the groom and bride on their wedding day that made you think they shouldn't get married? So, the first one was, not me, but at my brother's first wedding, my grandma apparently saw a brief exchange of looks between the bride and her boss. She kept her mouth shut and sure enough, within the year they were divorced, bride was fucking her boss.
SARAH: My God. I’m going to be honest with you. I read a fan fiction last night where the premise was that it was loosely based on like a 90s romcom where one of them had like run out on a bunch of their own weddings and the other one was… wrote an article about it.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: And so, I really have, you know, red flags at weddings on the mind right now.
KAYLA: You're ready for this. Here's the next one. Wedding was a disaster from the start, although the most extravagant wedding I have ever attended. Well over a hundred thousand dollars. Cocktails before the reception and the groom is smashed. One of the bride's best friends from out of town complimented him on how great his eyebrows looked and he replies back with, what the fuck are you trying to say about me? Then he tries to kick her out, even though she was just being polite. After that fiasco, he keeps drinking and it was time for cutting the cake. So normally you just cut the cake and maybe rub a little into each other's faces. Nope. He baseball pitched the cake straight into her face. I’m not exaggerating. Everyone went completely silent.
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: The bride runs out of the reception, bawling her eyes out and her father follows. Her brothers quickly start to get in his face, but it was quickly calmed down. Once she returns to the… once she returns the groom decides it's time to make an apology over the mic. You can guess how much of a disaster this turned out to be incoherent nonsense. At the night… as the night is ending, the groom is outside with her brothers and dad trying to fight all of them. Yup. The marriage was annulled the very next day.
SARAH: Wow. Wow. That is a fast turnaround. Understandable. Understandable.
KAYLA: I just want to know, like, what is he, like, was this super out of character for him or was this like a light bulb moment for the bride of like, oh, he's always like this.
SARAH: Was it, was it like a subconscious trying to sabotage it? Was it, uh, like what, like, how did we get here? How long were they together beforehand? How long have they been planning this wedding?
KAYLA: My best guess is that he is always like this, though maybe not as extreme. And she was like, pretending not to see it or like, wasn't, you know, there was like some reason that she was staying.
SARAH: She also may have been like hiding it from her family and her loved ones. And so, this is the first time they've seen it and they're like, what the fuck are you doing?
KAYLA: Right. And then this was such a big scene, obviously, and on such like a big occasion that it's like, okay, it's, that's the last straw.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That's crazy. Okay. Here's another one. Oh no. Okay. So, this answer was, it was partly because he was a cunt, but mostly because he told the bride's father how much he was going to fuck her now that they are married.
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: Okay. This answer, my best friend since middle school was getting married. He is really good at piano and singing. So he wrote a song and sang it to his wife at the reception. He was super nervous, but he killed it. Every woman was in tears. It was such a lovely song, except for the bride. Stood right next to the piano with what I interpreted as a forced smile. The attention wasn't on her for five minutes. Divorced two years later.
SARAH: My God.
KAYLA: He wrote her a song. Oh my God. It was my wedding. We were having a small ceremony at home and he insisted on pausing it to watch The Simpsons.
SARAH: The Simpsons?
KAYLA: I went along with it.
SARAH: It's not like it's the Super Bowl.
KAYLA: I know. I went along with it, but it made me feel like he wasn't taking our wedding seriously. Yeah.
SARAH: He’s fucking kidding.
KAYLA: Shockingly, the marriage didn't last. That's the last one. That's so wild. The Simpsons. You could find that episode on YouTube.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: So anyway, that's my contribution.
SARAH: Well, I’ve got a couple. Some of them are very specifically about a wedding. Some of them are a little bit more wedding or formation of marriage adjacent. We're going to start with the ones that are straight up about a wedding.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: So first I have one that I haven't read yet. So…
KAYLA: Great. Can't wait to see how that turns out.
SARAH: Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to RSVP to my sister's wedding because I’m required to write an application essay just to attend?
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Yeah, I know this sounds insane, but I’m living in it. So, my sister is getting married next February. Destination wedding, no less. I have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything, but she's totally set on moving forward. I’m assuming this was not super, super recently, but a little bit longer ago.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyways, because of the pandemic, her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they're cutting capacity by half. As a result, she's sending out re-invites that asks everyone to RSVP again. But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she's asking all confirmed guests to submit a 255-word essay to two questions. The gist is they'll use these essays to choose who can come or not based on people's enthusiasm. People who don't write the essays at all will be automatically disqualified. I just feel really insulted by all of this. The questions aren't even pandemic-related, it's broad topics like, why do you still want to celebrate this day with us? And what will attending our wedding mean to you specifically? So, she's blatantly looking for people to kiss ass and tell her why they really want to go. Anyways, I told her in advance I’m not writing 500 words on why I need to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets and hotels, and buy her a present. This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way. She said that to keep it fair, if I don't fill out the RSVP correctly, I won't be saved a spot. I said, fine by me. Then my parents said if I don't show up, I’m going to be in big fucking trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays. Am I the asshole if I stay stubborn on this? I’m already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine. But I will not beltop 500 words on how this is totally my choice. Am I the asshole? And then there are a couple edits. OP is 27 female, doesn't live with family, but she is the only sister. Edit 2, sister has framed these essays as surveys, but there's a word limit requirement if you don't reach it on the google forms you can't even submit.
KAYLA: Jesus
SARAH: Parents think this is perfectly reasonable, nice even, because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend. That's it.
KAYLA: I don't even know what to say. Like, obviously I understand needing to keep a wedding… like, you know, a co-destination wedding.
SARAH: There was a Normal Gossip about this recently. One of the new Normal Gossips was about a…
KAYLA: I haven't listened.
SARAH: A pandemic wedding where they had to narrow it down.
KAYLA: Even just like normal weddings, some people are not going to shell out a ton of money, because like each plate of food, it's so expensive.
SARAH: Each plate is like 70 fucking dollars, 80 dollars, 90 dollars, per person
KAYLA: Yeah, it's crazy. Right. So, like, I completely understand wanting to have a small wedding, pandemic or no. But usually, what people do is they're like, who do I want most at this wedding?
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: And they'll do close family and friends and be like, I’m not going to do like the extended relatives or like the people that my friend… my parents are friends with, I haven't seen in however many years. Whatever.
SARAH: This person is saying street democracy.
KAYLA: Which I don't like, I don't get… like, it's your wedding. Like, what are you...
SARAH: Well, I mean, as OP said, it seems like they just want the people who are like going to kiss ass the most and like, be like, oh my god, I really want to be there. But like, if that's your sibling, they… like, are the parents writing essays?
KAYLA: Right. Oh, a good question. The other thing is like, destination weddings, which sounds… it sounds like it's to an expensive place and during a pandemic, that list is going to shorten itself.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The thing that people always say is perfect about a destination wedding is you get rid of all the people that don't really care to go because they're not going to spend their money. Like a normal wedding, you'll get people that are like, more like, oh, I guess I'll go because they can drive there and they'll get you like, a whatever gift, you know what I mean?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, if you're having an expensive destination wedding, this job is already done for you, especially in the pandemic. You don't need to do this.
SARAH: Right. There is a very fine line with destination wedding where it’s like it can help you narrow it down but also you don’t want to be a bitch about…
KAYLA: Right. Too expensive. Yeah.
SARAH: Having it be too expensive, especially if you know that you have people who are very close to you, who it might be difficult for them to get the time off or find the funds to make it happen.
KAYLA: 100%. Yeah. Especially with like close nuclear family.
SARAH: Nuclear
KAYLA: It's nuclear. Like, what are you… yeah. Like are the parents doing it? Is like the groom's family doing it?
SARAH: Is the groom writing essays?
KAYLA: Now there's a question. Now there's a question.
SARAH: I got this off of Instagram and the number one liked comment is copy and paste mom said I have to 50 times on each one. Boom.
KAYLA: That's good.
SARAH: And then the next liked comment is these people need therapy. This is not normal behavior. I hope no one writes the essay and they get married alone.
KAYLA: Me too, to be honest. Like that's so bizarre. If you're going to do a survey for your wedding, it should be like, what do you like song requests or like what would make the reception the most fun for you? You know, like, what are you doing? What food do you like? You know?
SARAH: Why are you hunger gaming your wedding attendee list? Like, hello.
KAYLA: That's crazy.
SARAH: Fight to the fucking death, cage fight.
KAYLA: You know what? I wonder.
SARAH: Are you squaring them like out of 100? Like…
KAYLA: Maybe they want the people who like “are most enthusiastic” because they think those people will give the best gifts.
SARAH: I mean, yeah
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: And like anyone can bullshit and answer. Like if…
KAYLA: Dear chat GPT, write me an essay on why I should go to my sister's wedding.
SARAH: Like maybe you just want the vacation.
KAYLA: True
SARAH: You can bullshit and answer that sounds good enough to have them let you in.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, all right.
KAYLA: That's just like a reason for you to go vacation somewhere.
SARAH: Exactly. All right, the next one. Am I the asshole for no longer wanting to be in my sister's wedding after her request? Another family one. Listen, you know what my sister said recently? I was texting her about the Normal Gossip that was about weddings. That was about a wedding that got squished. That was a weird way to say it. But you know, and she said to me, she said, the most important lesson I’ve learned in my late 20s from Reddit experience and various podcasts is that the most dangerous threat to female friendships is weddings and their affiliated activities.
KAYLA: It does seem that way.
SARAH: Yeah.
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: It really does. Which like, why?
SARAH: Listen, some girls aren't girls girls and you got to weed those motherfuckers out.
KAYLA: I think also maybe like weddings come at an age, especially now, like in your late 20s, where like you're starting to maybe like cut out friends from when you were younger, or they also bring together like friends you maybe haven't seen in a while. And I also think weddings like always like weddings and people having babies, always get people thinking like whether you're someone that wants to get married or not. I feel like they always or like have wedding or have babies or not. Like I feel like they always get people thinking about like the future and like...
SARAH: That was one of the reasons one of the weddings in my fic class last night didn't happen.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: I don't know. I think maybe there's just something about like the finality or like it makes things like hit people in weird ways.
SARAH: The stakes are high and everyone is stressed and there's a lot of money involved usually.
KAYLA: Yeah, a lot of money or if like you didn't like the person they were marrying and you were always like secretly hoping that like it wasn't going to and now it's here.
SARAH: In the fic that was the wedding that was about to happen the friends didn't like… didn't like them.
KAYLA: I love this fic. What fandom was it for?
SARAH: Don't worry about it.
KAYLA: What do you mean?
SARAH: You know what my roommate said to me yesterday? She said… she said… we were talking about fan fiction and she was she was telling me about some something that she had read and she was like I won't out myself by telling you what fandom it was.
KAYLA: Why is that a bad thing to share?
SARAH: And I was like, you know what? I respect that.
KAYLA: But like why?
SARAH: Don't worry about it. Um okay, the next one. Okay so am I the asshole for no longer wanting to be in my sister's wedding after her request? So, my (21 female) little sister (a 24 female) is getting married next summer and is in the midst of wedding planning. As we're very very different and live on opposite coasts I’m not really involved in planning but occasionally she will share something with me for a reaction or opinion. Yesterday she booked her photographer and we were going over other people's online wedding photos together when she made an odd request. She insisted we take photos in which my husband specifically does not appear just in case.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Not girls only, blood only or bridesmaids only just without him in case we split. I checked. I was honestly shocked and had to stop myself from suggesting we take photos without the groom then since divorce seems like such a likelihood these days but it has completely put me off being there at all. We have a child together, we're married, never said an unkind word to each other. I see no reason to imply we would ever separate. Is this a sane ask? I’ve never been more than a simple wedding guest before so perhaps I’m being an asshole. TLDR little sister asked me to take photos for wedding album where my husband specifically doesn't appear. I don't want to go to the wedding.
KAYLA: This… you know what I think happened?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Because I’ve seen this… I’ve seen photographers give the advice before for like weddings or big photos of like if there is a girlfriend or a boyfriend, do pictures without them or put them on the caps so they're easily edited out, which like 100 percent. We did that with Dean like we took pictures with and without Dean.
SARAH: My family basically has a rule which is if they're married… It's the same rule as to whether or not you're allowed in the family Facebook group.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Which is you have to be married.
KAYLA: Which makes sense
SARAH: An engagement is not enough. You must be married. And so, like…
KAYLA: That makes sense to me
SARAH: If we're going to do like family photos, it's the people and the people that they are married to. If you were not married to anyone and you're not Miranda, we're probably going to do at least one photo without you.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Well, and you know this has also happened with like people in my life who were engaged for a very long time but never ultimately got married.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But because that relationship had been so long term and they were engaged for so long this person was in all of the photos. And then a point came when the other person did not want them in any of the photos but they were in all of the photos.
KAYLA: All of the photos. Yeah. Part of me wonders if this younger sister like saw photographers like talking about that on TikTok or something and was like, well, like I have to do this thing I’ve been seeing people do and tell my sister not to include her husband, even though they're married and have a kid.
SARAH: I just… I think that's a really weird thing to specifically ask in advance.
KAYLA: Especially because she like had time to back out like the poster was like I checked it's in case we get divorced like the sister could have hedged and been like, oh no, I mean, I just want like, you know, blood family and then we can add all of the spouses assuming maybe they have like cousins with spouses or something.
SARAH: Yeah, or like as she kind of… OP kind of implied like, you know, maybe the sister wants like girls only or bridesmaids only like that's totally understandable being like, excuse me, no.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But like it's just… it's a weird request to make in advance.
KAYLA: It's odd. I don't know if I would be so off put by this to not go to the wedding but I also like don't know.
SARAH: It would warrant a conversation.
KAYLA: Oh, for sure. And I guess maybe you could like gauge what you're going to do from the reaction.
SARAH: Yeah, like do you secretly hate my spouse? Like what is this? I do like that OP was like well damn should we take pictures without the groom then?
KAYLA: That I wish that she had said that. That's fucking funny.
SARAH: We have an update for what this person ultimately decided to do.
KAYLA: Oh good
SARAH: I don't get this… This was from a month ago so the wedding hasn't happened yet but this is what the plan will be. Which is?
KAYLA: I hope they come back.
SARAH: I’ve decided to attend and see what her intentions are on the spot and if she's specifically singling out my partner. That way if she is I can call her out in front of everyone. That's really dramatic. If she's not, just have a wonderful time.
KAYLA: I mean I don't know if that… I feel like maybe it would be healthier if we had a conversation.
SARAH: Maybe not the time and place.
KAYLA: Yeah, maybe it would be like a better thing for everyone if we had a conversation before.
SARAH: I love the drama of it.
KAYLA: I get like I get it though like I too am a spiteful person.
SARAH: It's cinematic…
KAYLA: Who would do something like this.
SARAH: Cinematic.
KAYLA: Like I get it.
SARAH: Next, am I the asshole for not paying for my friend's eyelash extensions for her wedding?
KAYLA: Um no.
SARAH: Okay, my (26 female) best friend (25 female), I'll call her Callie, is getting married in a week and I’m one of her bridesmaids while our other best friend (26 female), I'll call her Sam, is the maid of honor. They are my best friends and have been through literally everything in my life with me. I can't say Callie has been a bridezilla by any means but she does have a very specific look in mind for her special day. I was told I needed to strip all of the color out of my hair. It was blue and is now a chestnut brown. I had to get new foundation to cover my tattoos as well as shapewear.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I did all of this because it's her day and it's not hard to re-dye my hair after or put foundation on my tattoos. That's big red flag to start.
KAYLA: Yeah, I’ve seen people like videos about people doing this and I don't… I don't get it like do you… do you really…
SARAH: Why do you want this person in your wedding party? Like if you really love this person for who they are and you want them to be standing next to you as you get married why are you dictating what they look like?
KAYLA: To me that just shows that they like clearly care more about like what the picture is going to come out looking like and then they want the picture to be like oh so beautiful for Instagram
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: But then years later when you look back on it like they're not going to… you're going to be like oh like why is… where are her tattoos or like why does she look like this? Like it's going to be weird
SARAH: It’s going to be weird
KAYLA: And confusing
SARAH: Yeah, also like if this is a person who always dyes their hair and has fun colors or maybe their hair is always blue like that's weird because it doesn't look like them and also like… I would totally understand if you were like hey, don't dye your hair fuchsia the week before the wedding
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: That's understandable but like if this is how this person always looks and this is something that they've had for a while, I think it's unreasonable to ask them to dye their hair, I think covering up tattoos the only situation I think it might be an okay ask is if they have tattoos that people at the wedding would find objectionable
KAYLA: Yeah, the only thing I can think of is like if it's a church wedding and there's something like a little like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Not safe for work or if you have like older relatives you don't want to like get into it with
SARAH: Right, and like for me that's not like a… I’m trying to silence your right to free speech it's more so I’m trying to keep I’m trying to avoid a scene at my wedding
KAYLA: Right, and also keep that person safe from having to like deal with crazy people
SARAH: Exactly, yeah um. And also, the shapewear…
KAYLA: The shapewear there's nothing
SARAH: It's like the people who are like you have to lose weight to be in my wedding, it’s like no, fuck you
KAYLA: It's just bananas town
SARAH: Okay, so we continue. The actual problem happened yesterday Callie made an appointment for her, Sam, and I to get eyelash extensions because it will make the day easier less makeup to worry about and we all suck at putting on falsies
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Callie had asked all of the bridal party if we wanted to go and only Sam and I said yes. To put it frankly, all of Callie's savings and money is going to the wedding so she is currently low on funds to an extent and Sam has never exactly been good at saving money, meanwhile I’m decent enough that I have some savings set aside and a low budget specifically for this wedding. I figured Callie had put aside money for these extensions and didn't think about it past my money. As we were checking out with our lash girl, I paid for mine and Sam paid for hers but Callie just stood there looking at me
KAYLA: Oh, oh
SARAH: I asked her what was up and she just said she was waiting for me. I asked what she meant and that we should hurry because we had a lunch thing to get to. she said she couldn't pay for her lashes and she thought I knew I would be paying for them. I said that I was not aware and I should have been told beforehand because I couldn't tell sets of $200 lashes, I think is what this says it's… the screenshot is blocked a little bit
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: She said she assumed I would just know because of how much money has already gone into the wedding
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: And Sam obviously couldn't pay for it. I said I would not be doing that because I simply could not afford it. If this had taken place before next week it would have been more likely but I can't now. She started raising her voice and dug out her wallet and paid with her credit card. Sam pulled me aside and said that it was shitty of me to not just pay and that I knew what this wedding meant to Callie. I said if it meant that much why didn't Sam just pay then. I was told by the both of them that maybe it was best if I just didn't go to lunch and that they would talk to me in a couple of days
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I know that this wedding means a lot to Callie and she has always wanted to be married but I don't think it's fair of her to assume I would pay for the extensions just because she has stretched her budget thin, however if I’m in the wrong I will find a way to make up for this pay her back or something, am I the asshole?
KAYLA: I have never cringed so hard at one of these, like I have never been so uncomfortable
SARAH: OP needs to reconsider her friendship with these people
KAYLA: I can just like envision it happening, just the awkwardness of her standing there and looking and her being like what's going on oh, oh, it's just painful in my body
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: That's… I mean yeah clear cut not the asshole your friends suck
SARAH: Yeah, and it shows some of like the comments on the original post and there are people saying like usually for this kind of stuff for hair and makeup the bride pays for the bridesmaids usually, like if it's…
KAYLA: Sometimes
SARAH: If it's something that you're having done as a group you will know in advance if you as a bridesmaid are expected to pay for it or not
KAYLA: Yeah, I’ve been… the weddings I’ve been in we've been asked like do you want to have hair and makeup done, like here are the prices of the person we're using and then you like pay for yourself but you can choose like oh no too expensive or like I like doing my hair whatever so I’m just going to do like whatever or whatever by myself
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But with that it's like very clear cut of like here's how expensive it's going to be, do you want to pay for that? like what do you…
SARAH: Well, in my sister's wedding it was like all of the brides people and like my mom and my grandma too can get their hair and makeup done, here are the forms to submit to them about what you want or what you are looking for so like it's… like… and if you don't want to then you don't have to but everyone was like fucking yeah except for the efficient because they had like short hair so I mean
KAYLA: It kind of seems like the bride and Sam or whoever the other friend was, was like oh man we both have no money but we really want to get this done I bet we can just like convince nice friend who's good with her money, like we can just like bully her into doing it and she'll do it and it's like no
SARAH: I have a long update
KAYLA: Oh no, I’m so excited
SARAH: All right. Hi all, first I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my original post and got me to finally open my eyes to how my “friends” had been treating me
KAYLA: Oh, sad
SARAH: I took a couple of days after posting to think of how I wanted to proceed and then I took a chance and texted Callie and Sam asking if we could meet up. They agreed and we went to a coffee shop as soon as I got there they were both there and were whispering about something as soon as they saw me…
KAYLA: Ugh, mean girls
SARAH: And as soon as they saw me they stopped. In that moment I realized that's how they've always been, ajoined at the hip whispering together and stopping when I walk in, ever taking me seriously. And it was like a switch flipped in that moment I stopped caring
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: After getting my coffee I sat down and we kind of just stared at each other before I finally asked if either of them felt bad about how they treated me. They both seemed surprised and asked how I got to that conclusion. I said that I had had time to think it over and while I felt bad that Callie had been having to dip into her emergency fund, that was not my fault nor my problem. If anybody's it was Sam's because she was maid of honor. I said I had been more than accommodating changing my hair, getting a specific foundation to cover my tattoos, getting shapewear where it makes me uncomfortable, all of it to make her day amazing. They tried to interject but I just shook my head. I told them they had been my best friends for a very long time but probably too long. I went on to list a bunch of times they made me feel like shit which I won't bother you with here but I ended by saying I wouldn't be attending the wedding in any capacity and Callie could pick up the shoes, the dress, the shapewear, and the foundation from my mom's house because I was done. They started panicking and tried apologizing but I just got up and asked them to please not talk to me for the foreseeable future and left. They both tried to call and text me for days afterwards but I ignored it. I also got a bunch of texts from the other bridesmaids who were… who clearly had not been told the full story and texted all four of the others with the full story. I didn't hear anything back but got a bunch of calls and voicemails from Callie and let's just say they were not nice. I finally texted her and told her her attitude towards all of this just proved my point and that I didn't think we could be friends anymore. I guess the wedding went on as planned which I guess I’m glad for and to everyone who was upset about me changing my hair I’m happy to inform you it is now neon pink
KAYLA: Hell yeah
SARAH: I think that's it. I'll be moving states to my boyfriend in about a month and I'll be cutting contact with Sam as well so I don't expect anything else to come of this, uh thank you blah blah, this is not what I expected but it is what I think needed to happen
KAYLA: So, I was right, I feel like they probably… she was just like their third like pushover friend who they got to like boss around and just like took advantage of and like just like took it for granted, she would always like be there and like do whatever they wanted and then she was like um actually
SARAH: Yeah, I love this comment that says, look at you with your shiny spine, well done
KAYLA: True, I’m very proud of… like it's very sad that she like wasted so much time on those people but like I feel like a lot of people wouldn't stand up for themselves in that situation so that's good
SARAH: Yeah. I’m glad that she put her foot down
KAYLA: Yeah. See and that's what I was saying about weddings like the pressure is so high people like… it sounds like these two friends like always acted that way but maybe it was like even more intense
SARAH: It exposes people's like true colors when you're like in a situation like that
KAYLA: It does, like it takes normal… like things that always happen but it just turns them up like three notches and makes it like a lot easier to see what is going on, yeah
SARAH: Mm-hmm. And I have two more… two more comments from you… uh for you, it said my best friend got married in April and I’m in all the pictures as a bridesmaid with bright pink hair I definitely offered to change it and I 100% would have done it but she said she loves me the way I am
KAYLA: Oh, that's sweet
SARAH: That's what actual friends do
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then this other one says I’m done with brides getting married for a wedding rather than a marriage and making it everyone else's problem and losing friends and family over it, it should be a special day but sacrificing the people closest to you by asking way too much for an unattainable fantasy is madness
KAYLA: True, gross
SARAH: This one is now… it’s no longer specifically about the wedding itself
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Am I the asshole for going through my friend's closet to find my wedding dress
KAYLA: Mm, much to consider
SARAH: Two years ago, my husband and I were doing some renovations to our house. I didn't want my wedding dress to get damaged or lost in the process which considering we did lose a few things during the renovation I was right to be concerned. My friend offered to keep it in her closet until the renovations were done
KAYLA: Oh no, I’m scared
SARAH: After we finished the renovations I asked my friend for the dress back, she kept saying she'd get back to me
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: I kept asking and she'd make up excuses, I found it weird. Now my sister is getting married and she wanted to wear the dress, this was our mother's dress and we always agreed we'd each wear it
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: I told my friend I need it back, she claimed she couldn't find it. I was perplexed because how does it just get up and walk away. She apologized and offered to pay me the cost of the dress which I turned down because it wasn't about money, the dress was sentimental and I felt terrible my sister couldn't wear it. My friend and her husband went away, I was there to water their plants and feed their dogs
KAYLA: Oh, you have to look
SARAH: I decided to go look myself. The closet was very cluttered. I eventually found the dress. I can totally believe that she missed where it was and she wasn't being malicious in the slightest, the box was tucked behind a few larger ones containing seasonal clothes. I texted her saying I found the dress. Instead of being happy for me she asked me why I rummaged through her closet
KAYLA: What do you mean, why?
SARAH: I said I just wanted to double check, she told me I had no right to go through her things. I said that because of her clutter my sister almost didn't get to wear a dress she always dreamed of. My friend told me that I could have asked her to look again but I pointed out it took two years for her to even look in the first place, am I a asshole?
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: Two years. Okay it sounds like this friend was trying to steal it
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Like 100% this friend was like this is my dress now
SARAH: And there's something very specific about this dress because the friend, one of two things happened either this friend really was willing to pay them the cost of the dress to keep it like or they were calling her bluff and were like she won't let me pay for this
KAYLA: But like… what was the plan? Like, what are you going to do with the dress? Are you going to sell it? Do you want to wear it? Like…
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Because it's not like you can wear it or then it would be like, “hey that's my fucking dress”
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That's bizarre
SARAH: Yeah, also... so I’m looking in the comments, um someone was like, I would have just taken it and never told her, let her think she lost her mind
KAYLA: Damn
SARAH: And then someone responded and was like oh the… OP responds and is like I don't even think she ever would have attempted to find it again
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Um and then this person is… another person says if I was in your friend's situation and I genuinely couldn't find the dress then I would frankly have invited you to look around for a while, while you were in the house doing me a favor
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Yeah, even if she's legit about not liking that you went through her stuff she went on the defenses immediately instead of being relieved that you managed to find the dress, again, this was their mother’s dress
KAYLA: Right, it's not like just some dress
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Also, like… I don't know if this is just me like not giving a fuck but like I don't care if my friend comes over and looks through my closet you know what I mean like if I have a friend that's close enough that I would store my like very sentimental wedding dress at their house they're going to ask me over to water their plants
SARAH: Yeah, you're close enough like…
KAYLA: Right, like it has been two years so clearly they've known each other a while like that's the kind of friend I would be like go fucking crazy look at everything I’ve ever owned
SARAH: Yeah, it's just like… and like I can understand being the friend especially you genuinely like think you lost it, like if you genuinely can't find it, I can understand feeling that pressure and like panicking and I’m the kind of person when I get stressed out I just like shut down, I don't do anything, like I get that, I get it but if that were…
KAYLA: But then when she tells you we found it…
SARAH: Exactly, if that were really the case, you should be so happy and so relieved…
KAYLA: That should be the best day of your life
SARAH: When you are told that it was found, and then after that you can be like damn I wish you'd maybe asked first but I’m so glad that you have it and that your sister can wear it
KAYLA: Yeah, because that's also… like, ugh, the amount of guilt that would eat me up inside if I actually lost it and it's like oh my god you wore this dress she was supposed to wear this dress it was your mom's dress like irreplaceable I would… simply jump into the ocean
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like that… why do you even… uh yeah like even if she wasn't trying to steal it the lack of like compassion for or urgency is absolutely wild
SARAH: Mm-hmm. Okay, I have three more, one of them is…
KAYLA: Um
SARAH: We're not doing all of them…
KAYLA: Lack of time
SARAH: Don’t worry, I have three more one of them is specifically um aspec related but it's very long, so I’m going to save it
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: This one is not that long so we'll do this one and then we'll see how we feel afterwards to see if we can do the one that I just really like
KAYLA: Oh, okay, I’m so sleepy
SARAH: Am I the asshole… this is from five years ago
KAYLA: Jesus
SARAH: Am I the asshole for thinking a divorce announcement due to an affair was an April fools joke?
KAYLA: Man that's funny any way you put it
SARAH: Let me…
KAYLA: That's so funny
SARAH: Let me preface this by blaming all of you the entirety of Reddit for desensitizing me and giving me major trust issues on April fools day
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: So, here it goes. Yesterday I got a group text from my wife, the wife is Sarah, side of the family stating that there was an emergency family meeting happening that night over dinner at my mother-in-law's Barb, at Barb's house
KAYLA: Barb
SARAH: I immediately had April fools Spidey senses starting to tingle but we haven't all got together since Christmas so I overlooked it and so we my wife and I… oh and said we, my wife and I, were in. We were the last to arrive and it was pretty somber when we walked in, we all sat down to the table and my wife's brother Tim informed the family that his wife Ashley has been having an affair and they are divorcing. The affair was with a long-time close family friend Chris who lived a block away
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: Chris's wife Jen had caught them when she came home early one day last week and broke the news to my brother-in-law Tim, so… sorry I used… my brain was processing so OP's… OP's wife's brother
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Was cheated on by his wife
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: With their friend who lives down the street
KAYLA: Yes, and the friend's wife caught them
SARAH: Both families have been friends for years, they live less than a block from each other, they each have been married for 15 plus kids for whoa…
KAYLA: Whoa, it's a lot of kids
SARAH: They each have been married for 15 plus years and have four kids right around the same age, honestly, I have always thought both of them were picture perfect families, hell all four of them and their kids were at our house two weeks ago for a barbecue
KAYLA: Drama
SARAH: Anyways, after airing a lot of dirty laundry and their plans to divorce, how it could affect future family functions, and opening it up to the group for any questions there was silence
KAYLA: I love this like panel discussion by the way
SARAH: I broke…
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: I broke the silence with laughter and a slow clap
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Saying this was the best April Fools gag I’ve ever seen but I wasn't falling for it I told Ashley and especially Tim they need to consider going into theater, their performances were top-notch and tears seemed genuine
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: Being the newest member of the family, my wife and I married six months ago, this was probably not the best thing to say in hindsight, I probably should not have said anything
KAYLA: No
SARAH: No shit. Everyone in the room looked horrified, my mother-in-law who had been crying the entire time lost all composure, she left the room in hysterics and did not return before we left. Tim just shook his head and his cheating wife actually let out a brief chuckle before calling me out for being a dumbass and thinking this was a ruse then berating me for being so insensitive, you're the one that cheated on your fucking husband
KAYLA: Oh yeah, hold on, it’s your fault
SARAH: The rest of the family sat in silence shaking their heads and my wife berated me for not… as my wife berated me for trying to make a joke out of a serious situation. I am still dumb founded. In hindsight I probably should have sat in silence but I honestly still feel like I was calling out an April Fools gag. Am I the asshole? Look, I’m going to be real if you're going to have a meeting like that, an announcement like that on April Fools Day, you need you need to preface it with this is not a prank
KAYLA: You have to switch the day or like, yeah like
SARAH: You really have to do that, even if you're not like prank people you have… you
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Just to… just to be clear, you have to be clear
KAYLA: I don't think he's an asshole because like clearly he wasn't being malicious or anything, I think he just like really should have kept his mouth shut, especially because he's like married into the family and…
SARAH: Somewhat recently
KAYLA: And like the most recent member, like this… I’m not saying this isn't your business but like leave it to… you know like what do you really have to add here?
SARAH: Um, most people think he's not the asshole
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Um and that… like he… yes he definitely should apologize
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, of course
SARAH: But it's not unreasonable for him to have thought that and this one person says not the asshole except the cheaters
KAYLA: Yeah, obviously. I can't believe the cheater was the one that got mad that's so funny
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like ma’am
SARAH: But like everyone was basically just like not the asshole it's just bad timing on both… on both parts
KAYLA: Yeah, not great
SARAH: Some people… some people do think uh you're the asshole but um…
KAYLA: Oh, what are you going to do?
SARAH: Yeah, not the asshole but holy fuck foot in mouth classic
KAYLA: It's not the foot in mouth classic
SARAH: Don't worry about it, see what the classic basic human response to hearing about something terrible is to deny it which is fair
KAYLA: That's true
SARAH: Um, okay, can I give you one more that's not… it's not that long
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: it's not that long there is an update but it's total of three phone screenshots so it's not that long
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I think she loves her K-pop man more than me
KAYLA: Oh no, wait I think I’ve seen this one
SARAH: It was going around a while ago
KAYLA: This feels familiar
SARAH: I (28 male) and my wife (28 female) have been married for two years now. It was an arranged marriage but she seemed perfect for me, that was until I found out about the other man
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: Choi Min-ho from the K-pop group, Shinee, we love Minho, he’s very beefy
KAYLA: I’m shaking, I’m just shaking my head
SARAH: She loves me and she does show it and she never compares me to him but I can't help but feel insecure when she's yelling at another man's abs as he's dancing to a song. He does have nice abs
[00:50:00]
SARAH: The other night was a last straw. She spent money on a concert for Shinee which I was fine with, as I like their music too, but as Body Rhythm came on… that is… it's a… it's a song and the choreo for that song matches with what you would expect with a song called Body Rhythm
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: But as Body Rhythm came on, she started quite literally foaming at the mouth and screaming. I told her she was being weird and asked if she loved him more than me she said yes and continued with her concert. I broke and yelled that she had never loved me in the first place and to that she looked at me and continued ring ding donging which is so fucking funny, Kayla. the song I played you that you hated that's the song
KAYLA: That just makes it so much worse
SARAH: If you've never heard the song Ring Ding Dong by Shinee
KAYLA: You don't need to
SARAH: You should, it is a relic of 2009
KAYLA: It's so stupid
SARAH: It will get stuck in your head and you won't like it
KAYLA: I just can’t imagine getting into like a yelling match with someone while that's playing in the background
SARAH: In the background it's just ring di dong, ring dong ring ding ding ding ding ding
KAYLA: It’s so funny
SARAH: Anyway, uh so she looked at me and continued ring ding donging but after the concert she got pissed at me for suggesting such a thing. Um it has been a couple of weeks now and I’ve tried to be fine but it's been replaying in my mind. I’ve locked myself in my room as I’m typing this and I don't know what to do. I feel guilty for having an outburst on her because I know how much Shinee means to her but I’m also sad that she doesn't seem to show me the same love and… same love she shows Min-ho. I know Shinee have helped her through some of her roughest patches but I want to be that to her as well and not feel inferior to a group of Korean men. Now, it's interesting that… well, okay it doesn't show comments but it does say that like people found this person to be not the asshole
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I think they are the asshole for the time and place that this conversation happened
KAYLA: Yeah, definitely wasn't well timed
SARAH: I don't think you're an asshole for being like insecure and concerned about that but to like yell at her in the middle of a concert that is clearly really important to her
KAYLA: Not great yeah
SARAH: And like I think it's good context that it was an arranged marriage because like look you might be very happy together but it didn't… the relationship didn't form in the same way that, I don't know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: No hate on arranged marriages but…
KAYLA: No, I mean it's clearly just different, it's just a different way that marriages work
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean I think it's… like maybe there's… it seems to me to be to like psychoanalyze these people that he just like has some insecurities and it is coming out like as being against Shinee
SARAH: Yeah, um I have… would you like me to read you the update?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Thank you for your comments, my wife was scrolling on twitter last night and…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And saw that someone had posted this on here and laughed and showed it to me joking that it sounded a lot like me
KAYLA: You're kidding
SARAH: I snapped and told her that it was in fact me
KAYLA: No, divorce, divorce
SARAH: We ended up having a long conversation and she elaborated to me just how much Shinee kept her sane especially when her chronic depression was at its worst, she reassured me that she loved me and that would never change and the love she had for Shinee and the love she had for me were different and incomparable. I feel comforted and I feel bad for overreacting but she also did agree that she felt bad after that day but didn't know how to address it. I’m currently trying to see if I can get tickets to any tours coming up and maybe even flying her out to see them. I love her so much and I’ve accepted that sometimes it's okay to be second to Chui Min-ho because at the end of the day I’m her husband and I’m the one that she'll come home to every day
KAYLA: That's so sweet
SARAH: This is how all spouses of K-pop stans should be
KAYLA: I mean, I’m very glad they held the conversation because that was going to be… I was going to say like I feel like we can just have a very mature conversation about like our insecurities and whatever so I’m glad that they had that but it's so funny that she saw it, but also how did she not realize immediately that it was about her?
SARAH: Yeah, it's really specific
KAYLA: Like, some of it is kind of vague like the concert thing is so specific
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's so funny
SARAH: I’m glad they had that conversation and but… I also like… I do think it's funny and very realistic that when asked on the spot when you're like freaking out about something for them to be like do you love him more than me and her just being like, yeah
KAYLA: Like, yeah, like at a concert do you know how many people I’ve told Dean that I love like you know, like yeah, you're having fun at a concert, whatever
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: It's so funny
SARAH: All right that's it and then I'll save the really long one for next time
KAYLA: We did it
SARAH: What's your… what's our poll?
KAYLA: Who do you… who do you love more? us or K-pop?
SARAH: That's tough for me
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But you know what… you know what BTS always told me? they told me to love myself
KAYLA: So true
SARAH: I had a whole album called that, okay um yeah what's your beef and your juice?
KAYLA: I’m so tired in so many ways. Um, okay my beef is work, sometimes work is annoying you know
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I’m not going to get into specifics obviously because I do like my job overall, and I’m not trying to get fired but sometimes, man
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Annoying. Um, my juice is um I’ve been reading Fire Keeper's Daughter, the book, I got this as my like Sarah's sister for their wedding did um like the favors was like blind date with the book which is very sweet and that's the book I got um it's very good I’m halfway through it's really sad but it's good um
SARAH: Same
KAYLA: But set in Michigan so that's…
SARAH: It is, yeah
KAYLA: Um and also… do you know what? do you know the movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay, it's this old Disney movie from the 70s that like no one knows because it's very very similar to Mary Poppins so they didn't… they like delayed making it for a while and then probably didn't promote it um but me and my sister watched it all the time as kids and I made Dean watch it yesterday and it is so slay they beat up all of the Nazis and she and… it's a witch and the witch uses her powers to beat up the Nazis and it was…
SARAH: Hell, yeah. So, it's Sound of Music combined with Mary Poppins
KAYLA: Um, yeah actually which like of course I love it yeah, your sister would probably eat that shit up
SARAH: Slay
KAYLA: I know what a Mary Poppins girl she is…
SARAH: Yeah, she is such a Mary Poppins girl
KAYLA: My last juice is that I had an appointment with a new doctor on Tuesday and she was just like the most delightful woman of all time, she was like so nice, she answered all of my questions and listened to all my things so nicely and then we did a pap smear which I wasn't going in expecting I hadn't… I hadn't prepared my mind or my body for pap smear so that was fun but literally… I’m sorry I’m going to be talking about pap smear so you do all have to hear about it um but usually they like kind of hurt and they like… are like a couple minutes long maybe but it took probably less than a minute and it did not hurt at all and I was like this woman is my best friend
SARAH: Oh yeah
KAYLA: I texted Sarah, I was like oh no, like last minute pap smear…
SARAH: And I was like…
KAYLA: And I texted her after and I said it was a slay actually
SARAH: Slay
KAYLA: And I’m getting an inhaler so…
SARAH: Oh yeah
KAYLA: A new drip
SARAH: A new drip or it's not really a drip it's a…
KAYLA: New air
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Not as good
SARAH: It didn't really work. Um, okay my beef is white men running everything and then also landlords, I can't really combine them because my landlord is not a white man
KAYLA: Oh, wow
SARAH: If my landlord does listen to this podcast that'd be weird but if you do you know what you did why did, why? Why? Why?
KAYLA: Why did you do that?
SARAH: Um uh my juice is I went to a K-pop dance class over the weekend and I won a raffle
KAYLA: What'd you win?
SARAH: I won all sorts of things
KAYLA: Oh, so cute
SARAH: I won this little headband that you can't see
KAYLA: That’s very cute
SARAH: I won a lot of things actually, I don't have the time to show them to you
KAYLA: Oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't get a haul video, I’m really upset
SARAH: I’m sorry
KAYLA: You should be, am I the asshole for winning a K-pop raffle and not doing a haul video for my friend
SARAH: I also didn't do a haul of the albums that I bought
KAYLA: I don't quite care about that much
SARAH: Wow. You can tell us about your beef for example Kayla…
KAYLA: I have given you… I have given you the opportunity to get me into their music and you have not done it this is on your
[01:00:00]
SARAH: We have discussed in this episode that when I am stressed out by something
KAYLA: I know but I’m just saying you can't say it's my fault anymore
SARAH: It will happen eventually
KAYLA: And that's fine, I don't… I like… you can have all the time you want, you just can't blame me anymore. Oh she's so sad, she's so sad like a sad little turtle
SARAH: Kayla is a hater
KAYLA: Okay, I’m not, I’m an aspiring stan
SARAH: I’ve played you ring ding dong
KAYLA: Yeah, and that did nothing for your cause
SARAH: Well, ring ding dong is not by BTS
KAYLA: Yeah, but still
SARAH: Hey, look, the new Taemin song, the music video is horny and catholic just like all of his music videos are
KAYLA: Good, good
SARAH: So, um, anyway you could tell us about your beef, your juice, your… don't tell us about your horny Catholics, unless you want to talk about Taemin, I'll talk about Taemin
KAYLA: I’m like fleabag or something
SARAH: Yeah, yeah that's fine too. On our social media @soundsfakepod, we also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod, uh our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Mel Macmeen's, Melissa, Meredith Morrigan and Pink and Philip Roker, Roiker, Roiker, Rooker, Rooker. our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are it's Math who would like to promote the… sweatshirt, soundsfakepod.com/shop
KAYLA: It’s true
SARAH: Martin Giselle who would like to promote his album lo-fi beats to dream to you, Parker who would like to promote uh the community that this podcast has given them, love y'all less than sign two, I assume this was… I assumed this was supposed to be a heart with the three
KAYLA: I hope that was on purpose. That’s funny
SARAH: But I’m just reading… I was provided…
KAYLA: No, I think we should start just like whatever number feels right that day it's less than that number and
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And you know we all just get it, I love that
SARAH: Yeah. Less than two. And purple haze who would like to promote their friends podcast, the host club. Our other $10 patrons are Barefoot Backpacker, Song of Storm, Allison on me, Arcness, Benjamin Ybarra, Boston Smith, Selena Dobson, David Harris, Derick and Karissa, Albeter, H. Valdez and my aunt Jennie, hey H. Valdez um do you want to be a Val now? Also, your name changed on Patreon, and also you used to be $5 but now you're $10 which means uh let me know… let me know what you want to promote when it's your turn to promote
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: Thanks bestie. Our $15 patrons are ace who would like to run the writer Crystal Share, Andrew Holem who would like to promote… Dia Chapelle who would like to promote twitch.tv/MelodyDa,i Hector Mario who would like to promote friends that are supportive and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, Kayla’s aunt Nina who would like to promote KateMaggartArt.com. And our $20 dollar patrons, Dragonfly who would like to promote not running out… not pulling a um what's the Taylor Swift song, baby just say yes
KAYLA: Um, speak now?
SARAH: Yeah, not pulling… not pulling it, Taylor Swift speak now at your wedding, uh thanks for listening tune in next Sunday for more of us in our audio book in your ears
KAYLA: Ooh, there was air in there and until then take good care of your cows
SARAH: Happy thanksgiving to Americans and happy…
KAYLA: Gobble, gobble
SARAH: Happy fourth Thursday in November to everyone else
KAYLA: Gobble, gobble
SARAH: Happy audiobook release day to the whole world
KAYLA: True, yeah
SARAH: Okay, done
KAYLA: It's our day
SARAH: Stop
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]