Ep 127: Aceness in the Time of Coronavirus
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey what's up hello welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl I’m Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And the demi-straight girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, being lonely
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: M’armalade
SARAH: I was going to say Margaritaville
KAYLA: Oh, that's good, I don't remember who in the discord said m’arm… I feel like I should make a channel in the discord now that we can just make channels for whatever we want I should make a channel just for suggestions
SARAH: I was asked if I could make a Schitt’s Creek channel
KAYLA: And you didn't even use it
SARAH: We've been using it a little bit did you not notice when I dragged you in there just to see if you were lurking
KAYLA: Yeah, I saw you tag me and then I did nothing
SARAH: I didn't tag you I just… I used your name
KAYLA: Oh, I didn't see it
SARAH: Yeah, I just wanted to see if you were lurking at all
KAYLA: Did you… no I wasn't, I wasn't lurking, was it today?
SARAH: It was last night
KAYLA: Oh, I was busy, I don't remember what I was doing but I was busy
SARAH: How is everyone doing?
KAYLA: Today, Sarah’s and I's brains are sick, they are in…
SARAH: What an ideal time to record a podcast
KAYLA: I think it's the… my cat is biting her hand
SARAH: Me too Billie
KAYLA: Just a nice bite, maybe we'll just talk about what my cat is doing this episode
SARAH: Oh, I you know what I was going to say I was going to say that technically we already did marmalade because I did Creole lady Marmalade
KAYLA: No, damn well Margaritaville then
SARAH: Have we done that one before?
KAYLA: Who's to say? probably
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Someone really needs to keep a running… Kevin next time you do a listen why don't you start a running list?
SARAH: Kitten mittens
KAYLA: That's good
SARAH: US mail service
KAYLA: Oh, I didn't realize we were so…
SARAH: But it's called the postal service
KAYLA: Yeah, I didn't realize we were still thinking of them
SARAH: Martin Scorsese
KAYLA: I mean we don't have to keep doing this, now you're just…
SARAH: My brain is broken
KAYLA: Now you're just stealing them all you know
SARAH: M’illy Bobby Brown
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: Okay, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week… hold on I need to go to Twitter so I can credit the correct people
SARAH: Aceness in the time of Corona
KAYLA: Yes, so…
SARAH: Is my wonderful title I gave it
KAYLA: Yeah, pretty good, okay so someone on Twitter @acegentle, Gentle Giant Ace y'all probably know them um posted a tweet the other day and they were like I’m writing a short article for this news place about how COVID-19 is affecting our community and I retweeted it from our account and someone who follows us the ace and me said that their parents have taken this opportunity to tell them that they need to get a partner so they wouldn't be so alone during this time so just to credit them because we're kind of stealing gentle… a gentle giant ace's idea and the ace and me's tweet
SARAH: We were inspired
KAYLA: We were inspired because we've talked about I feel like the concept of like loneliness and how that's like people always feel bad for ace or aro people about that because they think you'll just die alone but I think it's relevant
SARAH: It's now especially relevant. Yeah, all right
KAYLA: Also, addressing last week I see that a lot of you have incorrect answers on our polls that you're rating it low stars and you think that um…
SARAH: Partner is the best
KAYLA: Partner is the best because y'all suck, what was the good… oh someone made a really funny thing in the discord where they're saying they were imagining Fred in the dragon suit the entire time and like the romance scene when Fred and Armie like lean in for the French fry but imagining Fred in the dragon suit is very good
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: Anyway
SARAH: That's nice, I like that a lot
KAYLA: It was good stuff
SARAH: All right uh Kayla how do you deal with loneliness in the time of corona?
KAYLA: Well, I’ve got to be honest I’ve kind of been dealing with the opposite because I’m stuck in my house with my family my dad eats really loud and I yelled at him today about it
SARAH: It sounds like something you would do yeah
KAYLA: Um how am I? I mean I’ve been trying to do virtual things with my fronds
SARAH: We're doing a virtual thing with our fronds tomorrow
KAYLA: Oh yeah what time is that at?
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Me neither, anyway listen focus up we need Sarah focus up, we're focusing
SARAH: I can't focus right now
KAYLA: We simply must, um I think it's hard especially for people living alone I cannot even imagine living alone right now or in situations where like I’m going to complain about my dad eating because it's terrible but I am in a good situation with my family so I can't even imagine people who don't feel accepted by their families or are separated from like their found families how difficult that is right now
SARAH: Yeah, I mean a lot of people who are in school, in college have had to be separated from like their friends and their friends might be the only people they're out to and they might have to be back with their family now and that can be difficult but maintaining those relationships during this time is super important and I think a lot of people get that like I think people are… the one positive of this is that people are starting to have a better understanding of the value of like friendships like platonic relationships and like how much they matter and I feel like I’ve almost been more social at times
KAYLA: I agree I’ve had like I know this has happened to me and I know other people have been telling me this but like people that you haven't talked to in a long time just kind of like coming up and being like hey we should facetime and hey we should do this because everyone just has like… they can't see their normal people and so they're like really lacking social interaction so they’re like reaching out to everyone they can
SARAH: Yeah, like people have more time and they're just like well fuck like I have recently… I have uh someone who I was good friends with in high school who I haven't really talked too much since then um she works at… she lives in Detroit and she works at like basically the you know ground zero for coronavirus in Detroit and she works at the hospital there and she like posted about it and I just responded being like hey you’re an angel like what you do is so important and we had like a little nice conversation
KAYLA: That’s cute
SARAH: It wasn’t like super in-depth, it wasn’t like… stop flying… it wasn’t like anything crazy, but it was like… it was like good to check in on an old friend who was like it’s good to know you’re doing well and you’re doing good things and that at least for now you’re safe and well
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean there's definitely the fair share of people being horny on main. twitter has been pretty horny lately
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And listen there's some people who I'd like to sub podcast right now… stop, stop that, stop, stop posting about how you're horny on twitter, I don't want to see it, your twitter is public and we don't need it
SARAH: Yeah, I also think in general all y'all who are feeling lonely in this time get off of twitter you think it's helping you, it's not
KAYLA: It's not, get off of twitter and get onto animal crossing is what I think, um
SARAH: Yeah, I… um this was going to be my beef but social media is just… it's killing me I’m my I cannot get my brain away from it uh and it's not good for my mental health right now and it's way… my need to just stare at it all the time is way worse right now than usual so I’ve been trying to literally chuck my phone across the room at times um because it's… it… you may get to see some memes and some funny jokes and that may give you a dopamine hit but there's so much shit going on
KAYLA: Yeah, I think using it…
SARAH: You got to take a break from it sometimes
KAYLA: Yeah, using it to like stay in touch with people is good
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And you know doing that and however you can but yeah it is… it's tough but I think what I was saying is there's a lot of people being horny on me but I think there's like… it's also interesting because I feel like dating is a little bit at a standstill right now
SARAH: Sure is
KAYLA: And so, it's not like you can like go out like if you're already dating someone then it's whatever I mean I guess you might be long distance now or living with them in your parents’ house but
SARAH: Or short distance
KAYLA: Or the short distance
SARAH: But you just can’t see them
KAYLA: Yeah true, um but it… like you said it's like…
SARAH: Dean is still there, right?
KAYLA: Oh he's… I think he lives here forever now
SARAH: Oh okay, I can't believe that Dean is moving in with your parents
KAYLA: Yeah, it's uh crazy, um but yeah now that like that's kind of at a stand I mean I can't even imagine what dating apps look like right now, I mean…
SARAH: Oh yeah
KAYLA: I would be very interested to know if anyone wants to share but like you said…
SARAH: I mean I’ve heard people…
KAYLA: Now people are like doing friendship things
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Yeah, I’ve heard people like make jokes about like because people who are like oh you don't have sex till the third date it's like well, I mean people don't know what to do with that situation
KAYLA: I feel like now is really a great time for demi people because now it's like
SARAH: You're so right
KAYLA: Because if I was dating right now because now I’ve seen jokes but like it's back to the olden days of like courting and messaging for like months until you finally see them
SARAH: And like you touch their hand once and you're like oh my God
KAYLA: Yeah, it's like Jane Austen times
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But like for me if I had like to just talk to someone for like three months but couldn't see them then all the pressure would be off of like oh they're going to try to sex me because they can't so now I have my fair time to just sit around and build my feelings, you know
SARAH: Well, unless they're like I want to facetime sex you but then you can hang up
KAYLA: That seems like a bold first step and I mean I don't know how desperate times are getting, but that feels bold to me personally
SARAH: I’ve seen some discussions about like is… can… is that a third date activity since real sex is not allowed
KAYLA: I hate that, are people doing like facetime first dates?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I would love… is someone… is someone dating… can someone dating let us know I would I’m very interested
SARAH: I’ve seen a couple posts about people like video chatting for first dates
KAYLA: I mean, I just don't know, I think it depends are they a stranger from a dating app, are they someone you knew, I have so many questions
SARAH: I mean, if they're a stranger from a dating app it's definitely safer because if they're creepy you just hang up
KAYLA: Oh, it's definitely safer but it feels awkward also
SARAH: Yeah, I mean there's definitely an awkwardness to it that is inherent to video calling
KAYLA: Yeah, okay so here's what I’m… here's what I was… here's how… here's here's here's
SARAH: Here
KAYLA: Here, um…
SARAH: You're skipping
KAYLA: My cat is being so cute, she's all bundled up in blankets taking a nap
SARAH: I wish I were doing that
KAYLA: Me too, um but instead we're here for the people um well I pitched this episode as to Sarah was I was saying like this is really interesting because I know we've talked about like loneliness before and people being like oh so sad what was you, you are ace or you are aro or you're both you're going to like die alone and be lonely and so now people are being like well you wouldn't be so lonely during the pandemic if you had a person, so
SARAH: Hey, you know what? fuck you grandma, not my grandma I’m just saying like the grandmas generally
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Uh and then I could be like fuck you Karen but Karen is actually my grandma's name so I…
KAYLA: I mean… did you hear it's a slur Sarah
SARAH: Yeah, it's a slur now my grandma's name is a slur now apparently
KAYLA: That's very funny um what are your thoughts on when people are like you're going to… so lonely
SARAH: My thoughts are there is some fairness to the fact that like a lot of people are like just like genuinely lonely right now and that's like, that's legit like I’m not going to tell you it's not. I am experiencing it to a certain degree I think we've mentioned this before but I’m like I’m not a very touchy person but I’m just like I want someone to hug me
KAYLA: Yes, Sarah wants a hug which is crazy because Sarah never wants a hug
SARAH: So, I wouldn't say never it's just not something that's very often
KAYLA: Sarah rarely wants a hug occasionally she will sit on top of you
SARAH: Yes, like a cat
KAYLA: And get her fill of human contact, but now she wants a hug which is revolutionary
SARAH: Yeah, one of my friends who lives here in LA tweeted something similar to that and I was like dude same like I’m not a touchy person but like and she was like next time we see each other we're going to give each other a hug for like 30 minutes
KAYLA: I’ve seen a lot of good memes about like me and the homies when I see them for the first time it's just like a line of people spooning
SARAH: Oh my God, I hate that
KAYLA: It's very good
SARAH: Um I feel like a lot of people are like it's fair to feel lonely at this time and to be worried about people being lonely at this time but I feel like a lot of those people who are like um like aren't you so lonely or like people who are like oh my God I don't live with my boyfriend and now I’m just dying, it's like I feel like those are the sorts of people who need to learn how to value platonic relationships more and that's part of the reason why they're like aren't you so lonely? like it's almost an insecurity on their end of like you know can't you… like you're by yourself and it's like okay being alone does not inherently mean lonely and being not alone doesn't mean you're not lonely, so
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean I live with three people right now and I feel lonely sometimes, like it's not like people who are like oh well if you lived with a partner right now it would fix everything I mean that's just like very not true. I think that's true even for not these times though like the thing of like oh you're going to die alone because you're ace or aro or you're going to die alone because you're like not… you don't want to get married like that's…
SARAH: Alone doesn't mean lonely
KAYLA: Right, and even… but even if you did have a partner and you did get married you could still feel lonely while you were living with your partner you know?
SARAH: Yeah, I just thought about Carol Baskin
KAYLA: Why? Why would you do that?
SARAH: I was listening to the Golden Ratio podcast last night they got bullied into doing an entire episode about whether or not Carol Baskin killed her husband
KAYLA: Oh boy
SARAH: Um and uh they were… they were basically just talking about like how like there's not really enough evidence to like prove that she killed him um even if we want to believe that she did
KAYLA: But it's very rare for cases to… like people to be convicted guilty when there's no body
SARAH: Right, um and… but they were also saying that like yeah I mean it still could have been a shitty situation like just because she maybe wanted him out of her life doesn't mean she murdered him so I was like she was probably lonely her tigers couldn't make her
KAYLA: And she had so many of them
SARAH: She had so many, and she treated them so poorly
KAYLA: That's so true. Sarah
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I have seen people say, I think to us, in general on the internet that they're like when people are… my parents are being so loud downstairs you would not believe, um like when people are coming to terms with being ace or being aro I feel like a big fear is that like oh my God I just realized that I’m this, that I’m like… I don't want to date anyone or I’m never going to date anyone or whatever and they're afraid of the loneliness that they think is to come
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: What would you say to those people?
SARAH: I think if you expect to be lonely you will be lonely, I think you have to go into it with the mindset of like so like if people are like actively searching for someone to date they are actively, you know trying to find companionship and just because you're not trying to date someone doesn't mean that you can't actively try and find or maintain companionship
KAYLA: Even if you are dating you should do that but for non-romantic companionship
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Unless you want to be a hermit I guess, I don't know
SARAH: I’ve recently taken to… um as I’ve mentioned me and my sister like to write each other letters as if it's 1849
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Um I like sending snail mail that's been fun recently
KAYLA: I still have a letter that I haven't mailed you, it's very old at this point
SARAH: Good, you should do that
KAYLA: I should but I… the mailbox really is very far away at this house and I keep forgetting
SARAH: Your mailbox is probably about as far from you as my post office is from me
KAYLA: It's very possible
SARAH: I think… I think it is, I’m doing them doing the math uh
KAYLA: Oh okay
SARAH: Uh so I think if I can have to go to the post office tomorrow because today is not happening, also it closes at right now
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Uh anyway, it closes at 3 p.m. for some reason, um but if I can go to the mail store tomorrow, you can go to your mailbox
KAYLA: I'll do my best I'll see what I can do
SARAH: Make yourselves accountable with your friends say hey we're going to go to a mailbox
KAYLA: Together, let's face time… let's facetime while we're going to the mail tomorrow, it'll be a date
SARAH: It's true
KAYLA: It seems like you don't want to go on a mail date with me
SARAH: What if what if um what if I were a lesbian and I don't want to go on a male date I want to go on a female date
KAYLA: Oh, I guess we can also do that
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Okay so if a bitch is lonely
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: What should a bitch do?
KAYLA: A bitch should, if a bitch is lonely… who is this bitch tell me about this bitch
SARAH: This bitch is you
KAYLA: Oh okay, um well I feel like especially if we're talking about being ace during this time, I feel like reaching out to any ace community that you can I know it's really sad because a bunch of meetups have been canceled and everything but…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: We've said this like a billion times but there are a ton of online communities and like a lot of these people are probably hearing the same things as you and going through the same things as you
SARAH: Mm-hmm
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: And I think another thing I saw Yasmin Benoit talk about was she was saying how like disappointed she was because she felt like asexuality and aromanticism were starting to like gain some media traction and you know that might just be because of it was aro week recently and I think coverage always just goes up during the awareness weeks but she was saying it was unfortunate because like now you know the news is just coronavirus stuff and so it's kind of like we lost our footing
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So I feel like reaching out to those communities to stay connected and then I don't know just like doing stuff to like keep yourself visible you know if that's something you're comfortable with or like to just keep the community going because I found myself thinking like sometimes I read the news and there’s some random story about something else like there was something about some random like MIT study and it was like not coronavirus related at all and I was like now doesn't seem like the time for that and then I was like no we need to keep doing normal things
SARAH: It's always the time for normal things
KAYLA: Yeah, so I feel like I don't know trying to do normal things as much as possible with like the people that you usually are hanging out with but virtual times
SARAH: Yeah, I mean as much as our brains want to focus just on the shit that's going down like we also need to let our brains uh not always do that uh
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Because if our brains are always doing that it that's not good for us
KAYLA: No
SARAH: So, you know use social media to you know connect with people and then at a certain point put it away
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like I have been using Instagram to message this person I know about Schitt’s Creek and we're both way too invested so it's a situation where it's like we know that neither of us is like annoying the other
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Because we're just too invested, um so it's like it's a good person to just throw stuff at um that is healthy what's not healthy is when I stare at my Instagram explore page for two and a half hours
KAYLA: Oh, but you got to love the explore page
SARAH: But a lot of it is TikToks that piss me off
KAYLA: Mm, yeah
SARAH: What's that supposed to be about baby?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: That was a good joke by me
KAYLA: Yeah, well I didn't get it
SARAH: The song I keep singing is a TikTok song
KAYLA: Oh, I haven't been on TikTok in a while
SARAH: What's that supposed to be about baby?
KAYLA: I also say if you're lonely like this should go for any time but especially now just like don't be afraid to reach out to anyone like don't be a reply guy but like I think everyone is craving interaction right now and like everyone needs support and like I said I think that goes for any time especially within the ace community like speaking about loneliness in the ace community in general I think like being aro on like on the ace spectrum or on the aro spectrum can be very lonely because oftentimes you don't know people in person and so like to be honest like that part of being ace the coronavirus really didn't change at all, why did… Dean just he just texted me don't be a reply guy where is he he's listening to me, that bitch, I don't know where he is um
SARAH: Did you get my text?
KAYLA: Yes, I got your text, it was a text of Sarah sitting weird podding again
SARAH: It's my potting stance
KAYLA: You talk loudly what can I say fuck off Dean you're not a guest on this episode um, what a punk um so like when we… when talking about like gentle ace giant’s tweet about like how coronavirus has changed being ace I feel like the community aspect other than the meetups that were canceled which and like community groups like I know New Haven where I was living like was just setting up an ace group before this all happened so that sucks but like the community aspect and having to reach out online and like trying to find the willingness to at least do that a little bit if you're comfortable I’m not saying everyone needs to do that if you don't want to be part of the online community but I would say like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Don't be afraid to and if there's ever a time like you probably have some extra time on your hands right now
SARAH: And this is a time where everyone in the whole world is having to relearn how to create and maintain community, it's like my family is celebrating easter via zoom
KAYLA: I’ve seen a lot of good Passover zoom pictures…
SARAH: Yeah, like my extended family my dad has… is one of eight children, okay this is going to be a lot of people
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: But like you know you figure it out, you figure out how it's going to work and you make it work like it's just we're going to have to adapt because that's what humans… it's the only reason humans are still alive because we can adapt and also because we can walk for a long time but that's unrelated
KAYLA: Our two skills
SARAH: Different skills, but you know it's just something that we're all going to have to adjust and we might be able to slide back into some of our old habits after this but there are some that we may not slide back into and we need to be prepared to just kind of move forward in the world we live in
KAYLA: I mean, I think the one good thing that could potentially happen is I feel like the ace community, the fact that it's online almost completely has almost like made it look invalid to certain people like and like the broader queer community maybe hasn't taken it as seriously because it's just like oh that's just a group of people online but now that online communities at this point are becoming the norm and I would guess after this is all over they're like it will kind of carry over as like this is something we do more regularly at least now that like it will be a more valid situation, you know?
SARAH: Yeah, I’ve seen posts about like people are now getting used to like seeing on the news like interviews via zoom and like you know, you don't have to be at a professional studio like you know that's stuff that hopefully will carry over after this so that people who may not have been originally accessible for that sort of thing now can you know make their voices heard
KAYLA: Yeah, lower is the barrier to entry to a lot of stuff
SARAH: Yeah, I mean there is definitely a whole other issue of like communities that you know don't have like good internet access or like that's a whole other can of worms and it's especially difficult for kids in school if they live in somewhere that doesn't… they don't have reliable computer access that's a whole thing but
KAYLA: Well, yeah it doesn't remove all of the issues obviously but I think it does start to like open things up a little bit
SARAH: Sorry, I just saw a really funny text from my sister
KAYLA: Oh good
SARAH: My sister has been giving me updates on how being in allo is during this corona time so this is relevant because her girlfriend has like temporarily moved in with her
KAYLA: In her tiny tiny apartment
SARAH: In her tiny tiny, it's one room and she just said Amanda just refused to cuddle with me until I went on Animal Crossing and moved my wash basin because it was in her way
KAYLA: Oh, why couldn't she move it?
SARAH: So, that's how the allos are doing
KAYLA: I mean if we really want to talk about the inverse of this, I’ve been saying to Sarah and I don't want this to come off as like insensitive but like I said that now is a great time to be demi I do feel as though now is a great time to be Ace
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because like our… everyone out here is like being horny on Maine and I hope Dean can hear me because that's a funny sentence to hear through the floor and like everyone out here is struggling and then ace people are kind of like well, I probably wasn't doing a lot of sex anyway, so
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I saw on the news a couple weeks ago that like because China is like slowly starting to come out of quarantine I saw that like after coming out of quarantine like 20 couples in China were like time for divorce
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: And… because my parents you know we're all getting sick of each other here but my mom was saying how like a lot of times when older people get retired and then they just like have to live with each other and no one goes off to work that they realize like oh my God I have to live with you like for all hours of the day and it's crazy and I hate it and now the allos have to face that already right now
SARAH: Yeah, going back to the, a good time to be ace, it's a great time to be an introverted ace because…
KAYLA: That’s fair
SARAH: I mean is my life impacted yeah everyone's life is impacted, but I think my life is impacted less than a lot of other people
KAYLA: Yeah, less than someone that was like going out all the time and or like actively dating
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You know, maybe this is like what the dating world needed is for just like everyone to take a break
SARAH: Are sex addicts okay right now?
KAYLA: Are sex addicts, okay that's… now that is a question
[00:30:00]
SARAH: That was on the mind because in the golden ratio podcast they were talking about a Carole Baskin dead husband, he was a sex addict, so
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean
SARAH: It’s on my mind
KAYLA: I don't know how sex addiction really works so I don't know if you can like get by by yourself
SARAH: I don't either
KAYLA: I feel bad for sex workers right now
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I feel bad for a lot of people right now
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I just thought about them
SARAH: Well, and I worry that a lot of sex workers won't be able to get the benefits of some of the relief bills that are being passed
KAYLA: I bet they won't
SARAH: Not really
KAYLA: That is sad, well maybe they're transitioning to being cam girls, I’ve seen a lot of that recently
SARAH: Yeah, I mean…
KAYLA: I hope they take advantage of their online opportunities for entrepreneurship
SARAH: OnlyFans
KAYLA: I mean maybe
SARAH: Yeah, I think it's a weird time overall but it's a good time to find and maintain community online
KAYLA: Now is a great time I feel like, I’ve been doing a lot of things for work about like here's what you can do during your free time to be good at school blah blah blah but listen…
SARAH: And you've been doing them?
KAYLA: No, but listen I feel like if you have some extra time on your hands right now, now is a great time to like make your friends research asexuality because sometimes it can take a while but they have extra time if you do one of those like presentation parties with your friends where like I'll get on zoom and make a PowerPoint about something you like you could do asexuality now is a good time…
SARAH: You could force all your friends to get on zoom and force them to listen to episode 87 what is asexuality
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: All at the same time
KAYLA: It's like a listen party you could…
SARAH: It's 87 right
KAYLA: I mean you said it with such conviction I just thought you knew
SARAH: I’m pretty sure it's 87
KAYLA: It's 80 something
SARAH: I’m going to check our website
KAYLA: Wow, it’s soundsfakepod.com check it out uh if you're questioning now is a good time to like…
SARAH: It is 87
KAYLA: Do some introspection like…
SARAH: How do you if you're questioning you know like how are you feeling about the fact that you can't really date or…
KAYLA: That's interesting. Like are you really… like a lot of people seem to be sad about it and maybe you're like I don't know I’m not that sad about it
SARAH: Yeah, like that's where we are at
KAYLA: That’s an interesting sign, that's interesting, what if you're like you feel secretly relieved like oh thank God, I don't have to like I don't have to date anymore and then it's like wait a second, I didn't have to date in the first place
SARAH: Yeah, you don't have to do anything
KAYLA: You don't… don't should and don't have
SARAH: I mean you do have to pay taxes, unless you're really rich in which case…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Just calling out America. Okay?
KAYLA: Oh my, Sarah give me some other benefits to being ace or aro during this trying time, let's be a positive time
SARAH: Um, benefits to being ace or aro, um you're less annoyed… you're annoyed by people being horny on Maine, but you're less annoyed with people being like grossly romantic on Maine because it's harder to do
KAYLA: That is… I mean that is a trade-off, there's no like oh my God, bae brought me these roses but there is like here's my butt
SARAH: Yeah, to be honest I would rather see someone's butt than have them be like bae brought me some roses
KAYLA: Really
SARAH: I guess it depends, I don't know
KAYLA: I would much rather see a romance one than someone complaining about how they haven't had sex in forever
SARAH: Oh, okay, that’s fair, if they’re complaining… if it’s just like here's my butt I’m like okay sure that's your butt
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't really care about that
SARAH: But if they're complaining then yeah no I don't… get that away from me
KAYLA: It's like complaining… listen the memes are fun but when someone gets on Maine and explicitly talks about it, I just get sad
SARAH: Yeah,it sucks to be an allo bitch
KAYLA: It seems like it does
SARAH: It sucks to be you now huh you thought it was bad for me now I’m having a great time I’m having a perfectly adequate time I mean my mental health sucks but like you know sexuality is fine
KAYLA: That's… I mean, listen that's a good point
SARAH: So, uh take that motherfuckers
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Ha literally fuckers because I’m not doing that
KAYLA: Well, they might not be fucking their mom either though
SARAH: I hope they're not fucking them, please don't add a piss to this shit
KAYLA: I would rather… oh God what if people get really desperate Sarah?
SARAH: Why would you say that?
KAYLA: I thought it and I had to share you know how I am
SARAH: Bury it in the ground
KAYLA: I won’t
SARAH: Go out to your fucking mailbox put my letter in the mail and while you're out there good in the middle…
KAYLA: What if I put the wrong… what if I accidentally bury your letter and put the bad thought in the mail and send it to you on accident?
SARAH: I will kill… I will kill you
KAYLA: You can't
SARAH: Via a force choke hold from across the country
KAYLA: That would be a very strong force you would have to have for that to happen
SARAH: I fucking would, but hey I took a quiz yesterday of which…
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Star Wars character I was it said I was Leia, so
KAYLA: I don't know that she could do that though across the entire united states, I don't know
SARAH: I also found out that if I were a type of bread I would be garlic bread
KAYLA: I can see that
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I’m going to make your pod stance my juice of the day
SARAH: Okay, I imagine it's going to get posted then
KAYLA: Uh yeah
SARAH: I look like a who from Whoville, I look like I’m just like dreamily staring off into the distance but it's really more of like a blank uh there's nothing in my head sort of stare
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: Um okay yeah, I feel like that kind of covers it
KAYLA: I’m sorry, I’m sorry if this episode was nothing
SARAH: Yeah, but also you know what me and Kayla are a little fucked up right now it's fine
KAYLA: It's fine, listen you can be stressed, you can be having bad mental health
SARAH: It's okay
KAYLA: And so, can we, it's okay to be you don't need to be… listen I’ve seen a lot of…
SARAH: You don’t need to be super productive right now
KAYLA: I was just going to say that
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: If you don't want to spend this time thinking about your sexuality or educating friend don't if you want to just sit on the couch, I mean try to do something a little productive so you don't go crazy but like…
SARAH: Try to do just something
KAYLA: Just something, anything
SARAH: Uh for example a thing I could do is go outside and use my hands to collect all the rain that has been falling from the sky
KAYLA: That's, I mean…
SARAH: Southern California has been raining for like days
KAYLA: It has been snowing today and yesterday it was like 70 so…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Doing great here in Michigan
SARAH: Everything is good, yeah no I um… I was going to go for a run this morning and then a it was raining and b um depression
KAYLA: Yeah, Dean keeps trying to get me to work out and I’m busy doing nothing
SARAH: Oh I… my life would be so much better if I could work out more, I did work out the other day um and then I was sore
KAYLA: Yeah, it do be like that
SARAH: It do be like that, uh what's our… what's our poll?
KAYLA: Oh, my instead of being horny on Maine what should people do on Maine?
SARAH: Not go to Maine because…
KAYLA: Don't say that, Maine is probably nice
SARAH: Well, you're… so we're social distancing
KAYLA: Well, you can just drive in your car and then go nowhere
SARAH: That's… yeah that's fine but we can't gather on Maine
KAYLA: Well, but I don't… listen I don't want to shit talk Maine
SARAH: Maine is great, I’m a fan of Maine it's just now is not the time to go to Maine
KAYLA: Okay. Ma'am
SARAH: Are you talking about Maine the state?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Neither was I, but I realized a while into that that I was like this could be interpreted as that we’re talking about the state
KAYLA: You sounded like you're talking about the state of Maine, I was never talking… I was never talking… I was talking about the state
SARAH: I was talking about the main street the concept
KAYLA: Oh, I thought you meant the state
SARAH: I was talking about…
KAYLA: Oh lord
SARAH: I was talking about… I was thinking of the main street in my hometown but I realized a while in that it could easily be interpreted as the state
KAYLA: That yeah not everyone is from your hometown who's listening to this including me?
SARAH: No, a lot of places have main streets, okay
KAYLA: Sometimes you're from the middle of nowhere and you don't have a Mainestreet, so
SARAH: It sucks, you only have one street so it is a Mainestreet
KAYLA: There's more than one and also who has a one acre backyard that they get to walk in right now uh me in the middle of nowhere, so
SARAH: I don't want to talk to you
KAYLA: Kind of tree the other day
SARAH: I’m busy not having a yard
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Okay, what else can you do on Maine Sarah?
SARAH: Now which Maine are we talking about Twitter or the state?
KAYLA: The Twitter’s Maine, what? instead of being horny on Maine, what can you do? do you know what being horny on Maine even means?
SARAH: Oh no I fully fully do
KAYLA: Are you sure?
SARAH: No, no I do. I was just taking it uh in a more literal direction
KAYLA: Yeah, it didn't work
SARAH: It worked, instead of being horny on Maine what can you do?
KAYLA: Share pics of cows
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Share pics of cows on Maine, read poetry aloud on Maine
KAYLA: I don’t know how you would do that but okay
SARAH: Think about waffle cones on Maine
KAYLA: You can't think about things on Maine, that's not how Maine works
SARAH: Talk about waffle cones…
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: On Maine. oh I want Auntie Ann's pretzel so bad it was trending on twitter today and everyone was just like I want it
KAYLA: Oh, that sounds good, uh you could donate to a charity on Maine
SARAH: On Maine, yes, good
KAYLA: But only on Maine
SARAH: Well…
KAYLA: If it's not on Maine it didn't happen
SARAH: Okay, well but then also you don't want people being like hey look at me I donated yeah like on one hand it's good because it encourages other people to, on the other hand you can get a little bit Ellen about it
KAYLA: Oh, I was shit talking Ellen to my mom because my mom brought up Ellen yesterday and she's like why did I bring her up I knew you would get angry and I was like yeah well
SARAH: Yeah, or if you're like really really rich then people are going to be like that's like nothing, you're not giving like Jack Dorsey actually is giving more
KAYLA: He gave like 25% of his whole money
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's kind of a lot
SARAH: And it was like… compared to like… it was like… he gave like… it was like a billion or something
KAYLA: It was a lot of money and like 25% of all your money is a lot
SARAH: And Bill Gates gave like 50 million and it was like Bill you're being shown up by fucking Jack Dorsey
KAYLA: From twitter
SARAH: From twitter.com
KAYLA: The bird app
SARAH: Okay, you need to do better Gates, I know you have your own foundation but like this is an emergency
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: People are dying
KAYLA: Yeah. Sarah, we don't need to remind them that
SARAH: Sorry
KAYLA: They know we're trying to be a happy time as much as possible
SARAH: Okay, uh you can um find that poll on the vaunted and haunted twitter.com/soundsfakepod
KAYLA: On our Maine
SARAH: Our Maine, uh you can also find us @soundsfakepod pretty much everywhere else including patreon patreon.com/soundsfakepod. our patrons are… wait we're supposed to do beef and juice first
KAYLA: Oh shit
SARAH: Fuck. um I have a beef
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Social media
KAYLA: Oh good
SARAH: I have a juice
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I spent the last couple of days working on something for my boss and he told me I did a good job
KAYLA: That's exciting
SARAH: Yeah, that was literally the only juice I could think of but it’s fine
KAYLA: Nice, um my beef is that the past couple of days at night like around bedtime I’ve been getting very hot and usually during the day I’m quite cold but like at bedtime I get so hot and then I like can't fall asleep because I’m dying but I don't want to like turn my fan on because then I’ll wake up freezing later, my other beef is that my cat has decided that she is stupid now I guess and so at night even though she knows where I sleep every night she… like I bring her up to bed with me and then she leaves because she doesn't want to be there but then like two hours later when I’m sleeping but very warm she starts like sitting at the bottom of the stairs screaming even though I’m pretty sure she knows I’m right at the top of the stairs so I have to get out of bed and carry her like a crying child, it's like I have to wake up in the middle of the night like I’m a new mother and take care of this child
SARAH: Like why can’t she walk up the stairs she's not like ginger like…
KAYLA: No, she can, she can and she has she walked up the stairs just like before we started podcasting so she could lay in my bed, I don't know what her problem is, my juice…
SARAH: Okay, what’s your juice?
KAYLA: Is um I had to do a new thing for work today which I wasn't excited about, I have to start doing like sales stuff
SARAH: See, this doesn't sound like juice to me
KAYLA: But it is and I was nervous about it but then I did my first call today and my boss was on it and I was nervous because I was like she's listening to me do this for the first time but she said I did a very good job
SARAH: Wow, both of our juices were our boss was telling us we were adequate
KAYLA: I have… listen I do have beefs with juice or oh God I do have beefs with work as well but we'll just only talk about the juice from work
SARAH: It’s fine, okay anyway sounds fake the patreon, $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Ferry, nope Drew Finney, Perry Fiero who drew me, Dee, Megan Drawl, oh my god Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, BookMarvel, ChangelingMX, Derrick and Karissa, Simona Simon, Jamie Jack, Jessica Chei, Rio Fastino, Daniel Walker, Derrick and Karissa are you having a good time? Is Krista home from school?
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I want to know
KAYLA: Yeah, I want to know that too
SARAH: Um our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin, @tessa_m_k, Arcness who'd like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who'd like to promote tabletop games from a distance, anonymous who'd like to promote Halloween, Sarah McCoy who’d like to promote a podcast from a planet weird, my aunt Jennie who'd like to promote Christopher's Haven, Cassandra who'd like to promote their modeling Instagram liddowred, Doug Rice who'd like to promote the parenting forward conference, Maggie Capelbo who'd like to promote the Instagram @minniemuffin19, it's a dog. our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White, NathanielJwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs from a distance, Sarah Jones who's @eternallolli everywhere, Dia Chapel who'd like to promote the podcast The Beacon and dragonfly who would like to promote not forgetting to take your meds. I haven't done it…
KAYLA: That’s very good
SARAH: I haven't forgotten but I think it's sometimes just important to remind people
KAYLA: I have recently forgotten so that's good
SARAH: I knock on wood have never forgotten
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: To take
KAYLA: I forget all the time
SARAH: My uh… my Adderall I forget constantly but like my Prozac I’ve never forgotten as far as I’m aware
KAYLA: That's very crazy
SARAH: Yeah, thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
SARAH: Stay tuned for some cat noises
KAYLA: Oh my, say hello to that dog, minnie the dog, oh. I’ll put you right up to the mic, say hello, no, the saddest lady, it's because she has been screaming every night for this past week
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]